soleiletselene

[soleiletselene]

whydidyoudothathowcouldyoueraseyourselffrommymemoryhowcouldyouletmelivewithoutyou

[soleiletselene]

this is what love is...

[soleiletselene]

The person who saved my life, and the person who made me want to live again, were all you.

Writing this to echo what @thedeathdeelers said in her post. I'm a Seon Jae softie through and through, and yet, when anyone questions Im Sol's choices or calls her names, I want to flip a table pretty much because have you seen the effects her choices have had on people?

Because of Im Sol's choices her mom doesn't have a burn injury on her hand.

Because of Im Sol's choices their house didn't completely burn down.

Because of Im Sol's choices Hyun Joo finally has the best of both worlds, with no regrets about letting go of something for the other. Her brother who was struggling with no motivation or luck whatsoever is definitely better off now.

Because of Im Sol's choices we even have a Tae Sung in the story, otherwise all we knew at the beginning, in episode 1, was he was some guy who dropped out of school after getting into a fight over something. Not the best first introduction to a character (who goes on to become the best second ML ever). I am the most proud about Tae Sung's transformation, because you can see that even in high school, underneath the 'bad boy' facade, he craved some genuine care and attention and guidance, which Im Sol the haelmoni, the yeppo noona provided.

Im Sol's choices allowed Seon Jae in Alt 2023 to live guilt-free for 14 years (where they confess), instead of him suffering that mental anguish and longing for 15 years out of guilt which the OG Seon Jae had to go through. And we all know what my feelings are about that version of him.

Because of Im Sol's choices, Sonagi exists (/-ed). Because if the 19yo Im Sol had not held the umbrella over him, giving him that dazzling smile of hers that is sunburst and blinding and contagious, capable of stirring storms within the heart, our boy would not be smitten and a loser and a goner for life (well, lives). And now we all know what that means when she chooses not to do that.

If Im Sol's choices have made anyone's life harder, it's Im Sol herself. She carries around the memories of THREE++ timelines, with the love of her life dying/almost dying in EVERY one of them. She goes through life as if she really didn't live through all that trauma that is enough to drive someone insane. She knows her Seon Jae is gone, for good, and all she has are memories that don't even exist in this timeline, memories that not even a single person can corroborate. You know how utterly helpless and hopeless that sounds like? She has a person in this timeline that resembles her Seon Jae, but she has to constantly remind herself he is not her person, her Seon-Jae, he better not be if she wants to see him alive. Going around in the city and seeing his posters/ads with his face on it, or stumbling onto him and seeing him staring at her with no recognition whatsoever? It's not easy. Becoming a complete stranger to someone who was once your everything, who could've been your everything. Not easy.

And she decides to carry on with life still because deep down she knows that's what Seon Jae would want, that's what Seon Jae had taught her: to live for the people who are thankful to have her around, to live to see another day, rain or shine. She loves life, lives life, as a token of gratitude to Seon Jae. She lives because when she says You saved my life, and you made me live to him, those are not just words she is casually throwing around. She is thankful that he made her find reasons to live one more day, and she is going to pay him back by living a worthwhile life. Because Seon Jae truly wants/ed that. He literally died wanting that, putting her life before him, because he wanted her to live, and by living, I mean not just breathing and spending the remainder of her life with survivor's guilt. Going back to this epic confession scene, he says all that because he is afraid of how Im Sol would go on with her life if he's no more. Here, he wants her to know that she doesn't need to blame herself, or suffer, because it is his choice to save her, and it'll all be worth it to him if she gets to live the best life she possibly can.

Just like Seon Jae in any timeline never stopped living or appreciating the good things in life despite longing for Im Sol for more than a decade, she will live and keep her love for him alive through herself. Even if she comes back home at the end of the day to cry in secret, or breaks down in tears in public places.

If Im Sol didn't make the choices she did, we won't have a Seon Jae to begin with.

[soleiletselene]

She held a yellow umbrella over me with a smile. I couldn't breathe because my heart was fluttering. As if I'd forgotten how to breathe.

...

She hasn't changed at all.

The fact that it's been YEARS and I'd gotten rid of all my original vidding stuff along with my channel (and forgot 98% things I knew) because I never thought I'd ever edit another show/couple xD These two are an exception okay :'( In case you can't already tell from my long analysis and frequent mourning over him, I have a special soft spot for OG Seon Jae. So yeah. This was hard to do because I had to see that face that screams pining and guilt and pain (AND THAT SIGH GODDAMMIT) but I wanted to do this, for him.

[tw: death]

[soleiletselene]

im here to add salt to your wounds...

please suffer with me 🥹

all I know is soljae happy ending soon 🤞

[soleiletselene]

And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. (CoS)

[contains spoilers; tw: blood]

When they ask me about the purest love story out there, I'd show them these two.

It's not the sacrifice per se that makes it great for me, it's the way they feel about each other, about the love they give and receive. Even in their last/worst moments, they somehow find the courage because the other one is safe? Im Sol is scared out of her mind handling this traumatic ordeal on her own so she seeks help from the detectives. Her only peace of mind is that at least Seon Jae is safe. Then she learns about his phone call and doesn't spare a second to run. The same girl who was so scared a while back throws all caution out of the window the moment Seon Jae is in danger, because she'd risk her life than Seon Jae's. Can you imagine the trauma seeing him dying for the third time, and her actually witnessing it this time around? If I were Im Sol, I would do anything to not have to go through that too. Even if it meant losing the person so they were never my person to begin with.

And Seon Jae. Boy is dying. Dying. You can see it in his eyes that he's aware of it too and yet, he is so grateful? So at peace with himself and with life? Like he has no regrets about any unfinished business, unlived years, unattained dreams, unspoken words to his loved ones. He already told Im Sol he loved her, and she reciprocated. That was enough. For him, that was good enough.

I go back to this scene like a masochist because THE DETAILS. By the time Im Sol arrives, you know Seon Jae is beyond saving. He knows it too. He's not even trying to escape or save himself. It looks like he's been holding on on his own for a while. His face has turned ashen, breathing uneven, hands slightly shaking. He's barely holding it together. Barely there.

However, he is not trying to push that guy away or take that knife out.

Instead, he's holding on to that guy's hand.

Let that sink in for a moment.

He is holding on to that hand. JUST SO HE CAN TO HOLD ON TO THE GUY.

Since the taxi driver is at an advantage here, and Seon Jae knows he cannot fight back anymore, so he is using whatever he can as a last resort to keep the guy occupied with him, and keep him from going after Im Sol. Seon Jae could perhaps guess Im Sol would arrive any time since the cliff was where he'd found her earlier, sitting in shock. But even if she didn't make it, you can bet he'd have spent his last breaths trying to fall off the cliff taking the guy down with him. THIS SCENE. The resolution is so clearly etched on his face.

And then he sees her. And the detectives. She is safe. She is saved. He did it. He saved her. And it's the Im Sol who knows him, who recognizes him, who loves him. She is safe, and that's all that matters. He saved the person he loves more than his life, literally.

His job is done. The choice he made gave him the outcome he wanted and desperately fought for.

And he is exhausted. All that resolve took a lot out of him. So we see his body finally giving up, him finally letting go. He resigns to his fate, but also not in a resentful way. He knew this was his fate all along (because no matter what choice Im Sol made, he'd choose to run toward her any day), it just happened earlier than expected. But he knew it, and he still made that choice. He doesn't regret it because he'd be making the same choice in every timeline (as he has been). He is able to see his Im Sol for one last time before his eyes close, with memories of their time together and Im Sol's voice echoing in his ears, his soul.

Sometimes you know the consequences, but make the same choice anyway. Because you like it.

The faint smile on his face in his final moments before he falls off the cliff? You'd think the boy won a gold medal for swimming or something. It's like he's achieved the biggest purpose there was in his life besides loving Im Sol. True to his words, he is grateful Im Sol exists in the world. That he got the chance to love her because she exists in this world. And he is thankful he gets to leave the world knowing Im Sol still exists in the world, his gift from the heavens.

One is jumping through space and time, living the same nightmare, constantly, over and over again, and yet going out of her way to save her love. Even if it means carrying the trauma and heartbreak and pain and loneliness and longing of three, four, multiple timelines, for the same guy. The other is making the choice to love her through all the storm, all the warnings, all the odds of time and space and fate stacked against him. How could you be so brave when fate is both so very kind and yet so extremely cruel to you no matter what you do? How do you choose to persevere? How do you get to have a love so pure?

Should I be ready to die if I want to be with you? - Ryu Seon Jae

[soleiletselene]

임솔 : 좋아해, 선재.

선재 : 사랑해, 임솔 ♡

[soleiletselene]

I love you. I love you, Sol.

Lovely Runner (선재 업고 튀어) 2024

[soleiletselene]

one thing I'm sure about this drama.

no matter what, where and which timeline you put sunjae, he will always love and long for sol. with or without memory. even his unconscious mind knows where his heart is.

[soleiletselene]

Lovely Runner fandom waiting for Monday:

[soleiletselene]

dearest, darling. my universe 💙

[soleiletselene]

On Lovely Runner: Death and Confessions.

[contains spoilers]

You realize the most heartbreakingly beautiful thing is that Seon Jae isn't worried about him dying per se, but what happens after the fact.

Do I die because of you? Trying to save you?...

and she doesn't respond, he finally understands. And he's finally relieved too. He's relieved because the 2023 Seon Jae did something the 2008/2009 Seon Jae and every freaking other Seon Jae would do no matter the time and space. He's relieved because that means she is in his life in the future. The future that seemed so bleak without Im Sol a while back doesn't seem bleak anymore, even if he knows he would die in it.

If I die trying to save you, I'm fine with that...

And so he confesses to her. But more than that, he consoles her. Like it's his last will, his ultimate wish. Because he knew he would leave Im Sol behind him after/if he dies, all alone, blaming herself for Seon Jae's death, running through time and space, trying to bend its' rules, bend fate, putting herself in harm's way over and over again, reliving all her traumas to save him from that one incident 14 years from now, traveling as many times as she can to change any variables as she can in all the different timelines as long as it means saving him in that one timeline. He was confessing to her, yes, but what he was doing more was consoling her, consoling the Im Sol who would be miserable in 2023.

It doesn't matter…

letting her know that it was fine with him, that she shouldn't blame herself for what happens in future, that she might not realize this but even if she could ask the Seon Jae in 2023 before he died/was stabbed apparently because of Im Sol, that version of him would never regret dying to save her. He knows no matter the timeline, he would never regret saving her, because to him, saving her means saving him. He knows that he would never regret living a brief life with his Sol-ah, his Solie, rather than living a life that is longer but filled with sighs over his unrequited love and the earnest longing for the only person who makes his time flow. He's the same guy who loved swimming and was heartbroken over the fact that he could no longer do the one thing that made him shine, but who never regretted it because being a swimmer made him happy, he was happy while it lasted, and he could never regret being that happy.

When that same Seon Jae confesses, it is not just the 20 year old Seon Jae but also the 34 year old Seon Jae, relaying his own time-capsule message to the 34 year old Im Sol: that his death, no matter which timeline, is not her fault, never her fault. That the 2023 Seon Jae, even in his final moments, would not regret seeing her for the first time with the yellow umbrella, he would not regret meeting her, or knowing her, or loving her, or being an absolute downbad loser for her, he would not regret having her in his life and dying with the thought of them loving each other all this time, he would not regret leaving the world knowing the love he gave, the memories they made would be cherished by her, he would not regret knowing that she would continue to love him despite him not being able to love her anymore (which he would, even after death, if only he could). He would NEVER regret doing any of it, and so she shouldn't regret it either, she shouldn't blame herself either, because she is not at fault. It is his decision to make. And he would happily be sucked into her orbit on every occasion, in every timeline, even if the end seems evident and inevitable.

Why don't you think about yourself? Please think about yourself only!...

and the first thing he did back then, was tell her to break up with the guy who he thought was using her. Here again, he is thinking about himself. What Im Sol doesn't realize is that, to Seon Jae, thinking about her is thinking about himself. So even when he's confessing to her (for a bazillionth time), his confession comes from a place of self-preservation where he prioritizes Sol over him (because that is what being selfish means to him). He doesn't want his Solie, his Sol-ah, to be miserable, to be suffering, to be in pain. Never because of him. Especially because of him. Because she should know that as long as she is in his life, he is happy. He will be happy. No matter where time and space and life take him, he'll be a happy man, he'll die a happy man. She has to know that. Knowing that she loves him is enough for him, enough for him to live an eternity's worth of life, even if there's imminent danger at the end of that eternity.

[soleiletselene]

LOVELY RUNNER 선재 업고 튀어 (2024) Ep. 8

[soleiletselene]

i miss my parentage 🥹🥹🥹

[soleiletselene]

PERIOD DRAMA APPRECIATION WEEK 2023 | Day 1 (July 3rd): Favorite Adaptation(s)

[soleiletselene]

spot on

‘There were plenty of times when he was lonely and glad of companionship. Verity no longer had the heart to come over and Demelza took her place.

Book-Ross Poldark

[soleiletselene]

���🤣🤣