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[sollea]

It’s Alright.

Commission by @naotoosh for my most recent chapter of Dolorem et Consolationem (also on @sollea)

Do not tag as ship or I’ll eat your bones.

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch18

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Isa, Xion Words: 3044 Read the entire fic on AO3 - there’s art in this chapter on AO3

Summary: Silence

“You two will be exploring any towns you can to see if there are any signs of the lesser nobodies in them. Roxas, you’ll begin in Twilight Town. Xion, Radiant Garden. Keep tabs on each other so you don’t overlap. Report back to us if you see anything, do not engage. This is no more than recon and it is not Lea’s style of recon. Take potions with you just in case,” Isa had plans formulated to track down as many lesser nobodies as possible with the limited number of people they had. Since it was Lea’s idea, he couldn’t stop Lea from bringing the kids on. Still, having to tell them what to do made him uncomfortable and he feared it was visible on his face.

Roxas and Xion didn’t seem to notice, which Isa was grateful for. The two teens mocked Lea briefly then saluted Isa, grinning and leaving with their keyblades the way Ventus had taught them.

Lea waited a few feet away with two coats draped over his arm. The clothes they had were resistant to the dark, but it was comfortable wearing what they knew would work. The discomfort of wearing the coats couldn’t compare to the comfort in knowing they were safe. 

Sliding the coats on together kept them from feeling like they were getting away from themselves. That’s what they’d agreed on. They’d agreed on it before, they’d never agree on it again. 

“Ready to go, Isa?”

Isa reached over and adjusted Lea’s coat slightly before nodding. “As I’ll ever be, I suppose. Are you ready?”

“Well, now that you’ve got my coat taken care of,” Lea said with a laugh, reaching up to play with Isa’s jacket. Isa had his on properly, but that didn’t mean that Lea couldn’t unzip it slightly and pretend it had been that way the entire time. He zipped it right back up and smiled, gloved hands resting on Isa’s chest. “And your coat is set too.”

“It’s been fine, but whatever you say, Lea,” Isa sighed and shook his head. The lack of a visual sign that Isa thought he was being stupid concerned Lea. Isa lifted his hand and summoned a dark corridor. Lea sighed; he’d wanted to learn how to use the keyblades to get around like Ven had been able to do, but Isa was still so shaky with the weapon that Lea hadn’t even suggested that mode of transportation.

Lea tried to grab for Isa’s hand so they could walk through the portal together, like the first time they’d gone through one, but Isa pushed Lea’s hand away. It didn’t stop Lea from trying again, though, this time grabbing Isa’s hand.

“Lea, I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m not in the mood. We’re going somewhere to do things that neither of us really wants to do. We’re putting people in states that may require medical attention. They may not wake up again, even if they’re back to being themselves. We don’t know how much luck has been on our side so far.” Isa’s voice was harsh, but Lea knew what he was saying was the truth. 

Their walk through the corridor was silent and fast. They entered the World through the castle, Lea still trying to hold Isa’s hand despite him not holding back. The moment they exited the corridor, Isa reached down to make sure his coat was completely zipped up. It seemed like an anxious fidget more than anything, his hand lingering.

Lea watched Isa’s already tense shoulders get even tighter as he walked towards the window, standing to look out to the empty sky. Lea leaned against the back of one of the seats, watching Isa’s hand move to clutch at the fabric laying over his heart. Maybe staying in the castle wasn’t the best idea.

“Are we gonna sit around and stare at the empty sky for hours or are we gonna get this party started?”

Irritation manifested instantly on Isa’s face, an eye twitched and his lips flattened into a thin line as he held back from snapping. “Lea, you need to get serious while we’re here, stop joking around and focus on the task at hand. You want this as much as I do, don’t you? We’re looking for our parents, not just mine, shouldn’t you be able to focus too?”

“Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir,” Lea said with a wave of his hand.

Something seemed to snap in the air between them. Isa’s already incredibly tense form began to curl in on itself, arms folded in front of him and head slowly going down. It looked like he was about to sink to the floor in some kind of fetal position if he wasn’t stopped.

“Isa, hey, what’s wrong?” Lea reached out and touched Isa’s shoulder, wanting to offer a form of grounding. It worked before, bringing Isa back to the present with a touch, maybe it could work again. “You wanna go h-”

“Silence!” Isa shoved Lea’s arm away, his scar splitting open as he growled. 

It wasn’t often that Isa actually used magic. He really wasn’t very good at most forms of it. Lea had certainly never felt it used against him. There were times where his own anxiety made his tongue feel heavy in his mouth, leaving him unable to speak, but this was somehow worse. Maybe it was the knowledge that Isa was doing this, maybe it was just how silencing felt, he wasn’t sure.

Fingers went to his lips, trying to calm himself and force the fear off his face. He’d had this happen plenty of times when up against heartless, but having this here, against Isa? He was terrified. He felt hope he’d found for the future slipping from his mouth in the place of words.

They stood together, eyes locked.

Isa looked away from Lea, wincing at what he’d done. Still, the silenced man tried to reach up and wipe the blood off of his friend’s face, forcing himself to move to comfort the other. He knew Isa rarely reacted violently… to anything, really. The growl in his voice likely would’ve shocked Lea into silence even if it had been something completely different, something non-magical. Lea was shoved away once more. 

He waited.

The spell wore off and Lea tried once more to comfort Isa, placing his hand on Isa’s shoulder and squeezing it gently while speaking gently, “It’s okay, Isa. We’re okay.” 

He was again shoved away, Isa’s voice repeating the spell, in a somehow harsher tone. Panic stole Lea’s ability to process what noises were around them just as Isa had stolen his ability to make them. Twice. 

Lea stared at his hand, the one that had been shoved away, then up at Isa, too shaken to even tear up over this. Something in his very core was being crushed, was that his heart? It had to be. A sharp pain in his chest that he recognized as his heart being torn and taken. It scared him. Isa was scaring him.

Sinking to the floor shaking, Isa watched as Lea slowly backed away. Neither of them sure why it was happening, why anything was happening. He was finally really a monster, wasn’t he? Hurting Lea was unforgivable. He’d never done it before… never. He couldn’t. He was broken. He was finally really, truly done. They had their go, Isa felt his heart shattering as he looked at Lea’s face while feeling blood sliding down his own. 

Isa curled in on himself, hiding his face against his knees and wishing he could silence his own sobs. That would have been a much better thing to have just happened.

Dusks walked past, completely ignoring both of the men. Their feet dragged on the floor in a familiar way and Lea stared at his gloved hands. They couldn’t look at each other. Moving to comfort one another wasn’t an option, no matter how much they both wanted to.

Lea couldn’t even look at Isa. The spell must have been too potent, he felt as if he couldn’t speak even after the time passed where he should have been able to. His tongue was heavy and his eyes were burning. Finally, tears began to slide down his face soundlessly. He could feel each one way too clearly against his skin. It was all too much. Looking at Isa again wasn’t an option, he couldn’t move his face to look up even if he wanted to.

Lea continued to slowly back away, hearing distorted sobs. Distorted everything. His hands shook as he backed up right into something that moved upon contact, weird noise following the movement. Lea turned around, vision blurry, and expected to see a nobody or a piece of furniture he didn’t remember. Instead, green eyes met his and a small hand reached up. His hand was brought down slowly.

“It’s okay, Lea,” the young, soft voice said as a gentle, small hand rubbed over his gloved one. “You’re not alone.”

He’d forgotten her eyes were green now. When had that happened? Why? He hadn’t bothered questioning it. Her voice was calming, though, soft and kind. 

The girl moved past Lea, towards Isa.

Lea backed into a dark corridor as she knelt next to Isa, reaching to take his hand, only to be shoved away just as Lea had been. Xion didn’t back down. She reached for his hand again, stumbling backwards as she was shoved at again. She tried once more, anger boiling to the surface of Isa’s face again. 

Blood had already left trails, following along where tears had fallen. He managed to keep from uttering the spell that threatened to spill from his lips once more, though it wouldn’t do much. Xion hadn’t spoken a single word to him yet. She just kept trying to take his hand and letting herself get shoved away. It would have been difficult to watch if Lea hadn’t already left.

Isa shoved Xion backwards once more, curling down and letting out a scream. He didn’t want to yell at her, he didn’t want to hurt her, he couldn’t stop not seeing her. It felt overlayed with her real face. Isa couldn’t see her, he couldn’t. It didn’t make sense. He knew her face, it was her real face, her real heart. Was he really so horrible that he could lose that again?

“It’s alright,” Xion said, her voice distorted in Isa’s mind. He didn’t want her to talk, he didn’t want to hear her in Xion’s voice again. He couldn’t do it. She wasn’t there, he was just hearing things. 

Again, anger built up inside him only to explode out in a rage, “Silence!”

“It’s okay,” Xion’s voice sounded again, spell falling flat against her. 

“Silence,” Isa said in another attempt to not have to hear his mistakes weighing against him in the voice of a child. She embodied everything he’d failed to protect, failed to do. Why she loved him after all he’d done, he’d never know. She cared about him too much for all he’d done to her. She’d been hurt by him since the moment she began and still, she was trying to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Isa,” she spoke again, unfazed by his most recent attempt at a spell.

“Silence…” Request more than spell, Isa’s words were losing anger, but growing in desperation. Something about her voice was different than expected when she spoke his name. There was a heavier drop to the last syllable, but only under her voice. It was getting to be too much, too much. 

She reached forward and under the collar of his coat, running her fingers along it to pull hidden chain out. She smiled when he looked up at her, eyes soft with tears. She let go of Isa’s necklace, taking his hands and bringing them to rest on the pendant. 

“You have him with you all the time in your heart, even when you push him away.” Her voice was soft, becoming more her own again. He could no longer hear Her voice, but Xion’s voice was still layered and disorienting. It was still a direct knife into his heart. He’d lost his temper, something he’d thought he’d had a handle on. He had a handle on. 

He hadn’t lashed out like that the entire time he was forcing himself to play along with the man who had hurt and taken away his friend. He hadn’t lashed out when he realized he was without his heart again, that he may very well never get it back. He hadn’t lashed out. He didn’t know why he did this time. He’d been there before, it wasn’t new.

Xion wrapped her hands around his and kept them from falling to his sides. “Things are hard now, hearts hurt.” Her words remained gentle, the remaining voice overlayed in hers seemed to be melting away as she continued. “You’ve known that longer than I’ve been alive, though, and you wanted it back the entire time. All the pain comes with love, doesn’t it? But it can be better, you can let it be better. I think you know how to help yourself move on, don’t you?”

Isa took in a deep breath, steeling himself for what he felt coming. He could feel his rage boiling up again, his urge to scream and yell and throw things. He rarely let himself do that, he kept shoving it down and shoving it down and shoving it down.

And Xion was there, acting like it was some kind of necessary. Maybe she would know, she had always seemed more volatile than any of the other soft-hearted children. She was probably right. 

He used his one last moment of control to gently move Xion back, she let him this time. She stepped back to put more distance between the two of them, the connection between the two of them telling her exactly what he would do.

He let out a heart wrenching scream, curling in on himself and shaking as he began to sob. Blood mingled with tears again, his guilt swam to the surface to try to pull him under again, but Xion returned and wrapped her arms around him. She herself was breathing raggedly, as if she’d been crying. 

Isa didn’t want to know, but, still, he asked, “Are you okay?”

Xion didn’t respond, arms tightening around him instead.

“Xion, how did you know that I… would be hurting like this? What in the way I was gave it away that Lea wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

“Nothing gave that away,” she mumbled, hiding her face from him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I realized where you were going and… saw how you looked and realized you’d be in a difficult place. I want all my family to be okay.”

“I’m sorry.” The brokenness in their voices echoed each other, making the cracks seem more stable, the hurt felt less all-consuming.

“For being sad?”

“For everything I did to you, Xion.”

“You’ve already apologized.” Her voice danced beneath her tears, shaking her head and turning her knuckles white with her grip on Isa’s coat. “I don’t want you to keep apologizing when you’ve done so much to fix it.”

“Xion, I still-”

She cut him off instantly, “You were hurt too. You’ve explained yourself. I’m all for talking, but sometimes… it’s just you needing to move on. I forgive you, Isa.”

“For hurting you?”

“Lea did too.”

“For calling you a thing?”

“Everyone did.”

“For saying you shouldn’t have been made?”

It took her a moment longer, a moment where she buried her face deeper in the hug. “Do you think that now?”

Isa hesitated as well, then placed his hand on the back of the girl’s head. “Of course not. You’re my family now.”

“You’re not a monster, Isa, I promise. No more than a formally faceless puppet is.”

Xion finally loosened her grip and Isa followed suit, letting the girl move back so they could look at each other. She held out her hand. 

“Please, I’ll take you home.”

Isa reached out, ready to agree, before looking around near-frantic. “Lea? Did he…?”

“He left, yeah,” Xion said quietly. “But… isn’t the best way to make things okay to not ignore them?”

Isa rolled his eyes and wiped tears out from under his eyes, blood smearing and making him look all the worse. It was sticky. He sighed and took the girl’s hand. “You shouldn’t be as wise as you are. It’s never good to be young and wise.”

Xion smiled. “I’m just glad I’m not alone.”

They return through the dark corridor, neither of them sure how safe two people on one keyblade glider would be. It’s a straight shot into the living room of Lea and Isa’s home. Xion leaves out the door instantly, giving them the privacy they needed.

Lea had a moment of fear flash over his face, but he quickly shoved it aside as he got up. He took Isa’s hand and pulled him to the couch. “Sit.”

Isa listened.

Lea walked away.

He returned quickly, despite Isa’s worry, warm washcloth in hand. Silence continued to fill the room as Lea sat next to Isa, but it wasn’t the forced kind, it was somehow soft. Lea took the washcloth to Isa’s face, cleaning the blood that had been smeared on and gently running it over the scar. It was comforting.

“I don’t like that this opened up again, Isa.” Lea’s voice was calmer than his earlier face would’ve hinted at being possible. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Isa nodded, tearing up again. He wasn’t the crybaby, but he couldn’t stop them. He… wasn’t going to try anymore. 

Startled, Lea wiped away a tear with his thumb, leaving his hand cupping Isa’s face afterwards. “Isa, are you okay? Are you still…”

“No, Lea. Thank you.” He leaned forward, letting his head rest against Lea’s shoulder. 

“Tap out next time you’re getting… overwhelmed, okay? Can you promise me that?”

“I promise,” Isa’s words were sincere, soft in comparison to his earlier words, the words before the spells had taken root. “We’ll get past things. Finally let them go.”

[sollea]

chapter 4 is up! 

[sollea]

Love

I missed Day 2, so I combined it with Day 4 of @misomilk‘s AkuSai month. Prompts were  “I love you.” &&  Stargazing

Read this on AO3 here!

“I love you.” They weren’t new words, it wasn’t even new to hear them coming from Lea’s lips. He was always the one who was happy to wear his heart on his sleeve, bearing it to the world along with how he felt about everyone. Well, maybe not exactly how he felt, but it had always been close enough.

It was, however, new to know the context of those words. It was new for Isa to feel the love permeate his skin the way it did every time Lea said those words to him, it was exceptional. Isa didn’t feel like he’d done nearly enough to have truly earned those words that bounced around his heart, warming it through contact. 

“I love you too.” It was hard to get out. The words felt like a double-edged sword that could easily turn on him. Isa knew Lea would never use words like that against him, but sometimes it felt like the world could. Even if Lea loved him to the end of the worlds and back, the worlds didn’t always love Isa enough to keep the truth from hurting him. Admitting to something that he felt that strongly was something he had to do, though, it would kill him to have Lea saying it in such a heartfelt way and not respond with reassurance that he loved Lea too.

Timed almost as if he could feel every nervous thought that was shoving its way through Isa’s mind, Lea reached over and gently took Isa’s hand. He held through the fully expected flinch, rubbing his thumb over the back of Isa’s hand gently as he waited for the other man to get comfortable with the touch. It would’ve been easy to shove Lea away instead of riding the waves of revulsion over touches, but at the same time Isa couldn’t. Fear and discomfort easily beat how touch-starved he was, but Lea’s soft warmth beat fear. Isa turned his hand over and intertwined their fingers, leaning his head against Lea’s shoulder.

Lea smiled.

They were finally safe, no matter what his anxieties told him.

Knowing that wouldn’t make the fear go away, but it helped him to think it. He would always be terrified of losing it, of losing those words, of losing Lea, but for the time being, it was all his. He wouldn’t let go without putting up a fight, bearing his teeth for a final time. To rip him away from where he was would be to rip him away from himself, something he knew he had to work on, but it would be a long, difficult road.

“Couldn’t ever stand to see the sun set fully without you, y’know? Even without emotions, something kept me from watching the moon rise into the sky without my moon,” Lea said gently, pressing his lips to the top of Isa’s head. It would take some getting used to, having their feelings out in the open to the point of romance, but it was good. “Felt wrong, seeing the stars without the person who was in love with them when I was a kid. Without you, felt like more than my heart was missing.”

“Lea, that’s idiotic. You’ve looked at stars without me, I know you have.” Isa’s words were obvious attempts to push off the topic onto something less serious. He just wanted to look up at the sky in silence, talking had been near constant and he hated the feeling of being without words. Though, if he was being honest, it wasn’t that hard to keep up with Lea when they were discussing things. Only half the words Lea said had any real reason and even less of the words had real relevance. 

“Doesn’t mean I looked at the stars with purpose without you! Let me say romantic things while we’re out here, will you?” 

“Absolutely not,” Isa responded with a small shake of his head, closing his eyes as he practiced memorizing the patterns of the sky. He still wasn’t completely sold on the stars being other worlds, there were just too many. They hadn’t been able to find that many worlds when they were looking and they were accessing them from a world that shouldn’t have even existed. The science of infinite worlds was there, but for them all to blink in and out right there in their sky seemed hard to believe. 

What was the sun, then? The moon? Were they supposed to believe that they were worlds as well? Just smaller, closer to home?

Isa’s mind was wandering again as Lea’s words were, neither of them following the other. To Lea’s credit, he wasn’t a mind reader and he was busy looking up at the sky he’d missed. Isa couldn’t hear more than every other word Lea said, but that was okay. He, too, was distracted. Watching the joy on Lea’s face and hearing the tone of his voice despite not listening to the words was somehow better than looking up at the sky. His attention had wandered away from his questioning the sky without even realizing. Lea was captivating, even when Isa wasn’t fully aware of what was being said.

“And, y’know, you don’t have to tell me that you love me whenever I say it, I know you do. And I know things are really weird for us and it’s really fucking scary,” Lea’s words finally pulled Isa back in as they locked eyes. “I’m proud of us for being where we are and I know you’ve been having trouble with voicing feelings recently. Or, really, you’ve always been this way, it’s not even new.”

“Lea?” Isa attempted, voice soft and paired with a laugh.

Either Lea hadn’t heard Isa or he was choosing to ignore him, Isa was set to believe Lea simply hadn’t heard him. It was supported by Lea’s continuing of the same topic without so much as a pause. 

“And, seriously, you communicate with me really well when I’m paying any attention at all. I get what you mean when you shrug at me based on the tilt of your head, you can just… smile at me when I say it and I’ll know you mean it back.”

“Lea.” Isa reached up and cupped Lea’s face, figuring it was faster to get his attention that way. Finally, the other man’s attention was his. “I love you.”

And it wasn’t forced, he really did just mean it. With all the stars in the sky, all Isa wanted to do was look at Lea when he spoke. Pressing their lips together was not to keep Lea from talking, it was begging him to continue. Isa let their foreheads rest against each other, the touch was more than he’d expected himself to initiate, but it was comfortable.

Lea closed his eyes and smiled, a brilliant smile only Lea could manage. It was like he’d caught the sun in his stupid, dorky hands, eaten it, and made its light somehow transferred to radiate from inside him. “I love you too.”

They were safe under the stars together. The worlds weren’t going to hurt them. They were loved.

[sollea]

It’d Be So Easy

Missed Day 2, but this is Day 3 of @misomilk’s AkuSai month! It’s also a day late, but it’s fine. I’m gonna post Day 2 and 4 eventually too.

Read it on AO3 Here!

“Don’t leave,” Isa’s voice was raspy, cut up by coughing fit after coughing fit. Nobody expected to get sick so immediately after becoming a whole person again, but that’s probably how it got Isa. Lea can’t remember the last time he saw Isa sick that wasn’t caused by him getting sick and Isa refusing to stay away.

Lea sighed and sat on the side of Isa’s bed, taking his hand and smiling. “Hey, you never used to leave me when I got sick when we were kids. I’m not leaving unless you want me to. Cough on me all you want, you’ll be stuck with me when I’m coughing up lungs, though.”

Laughing to the point of triggering another coughing fit, Isa squeezed Lea’s hand and smiled. “You’re too good to me, even after everything. Thank you.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, it’s just a cold,” Lea muttered, rolling his eyes and patting the back of his best friend’s hand. “I’m not gonna up and abandon you after you haven’t had one for, what? Twelve years?”

“Longer. I hadn’t gotten sick in at least a year before we died,” Isa said with a sigh. “I haven’t been sick in so long, I was too healthy to get sick.”

“Yeah, well, now you need more juice and to make sure you’re not moping around. Get some sunlight, Isa.” Lea’s voice was sunlight to Isa, but the sick man didn’t want to say that. He was sick, not stupid. Sick, not brave. He was more scared of losing Lea than being without what he wanted, but he let his face speak too many words. Lea could see he was hiding something.

But Isa was sick and Lea knew better than to press a sick man with every tendency to simply shut down. Pressing Isa was the best way to make Isa not do what he wanted or tell him the truth, so it was best to sit there and run his fingers through his hair instead.

Lea pressed his lips to Isa’s forehead to check how bad his friend’s fever was and sighed when the heat stung his lips. Having a fire inside Isa wasn’t what was normal or what was to be desired. There wasn’t any disappointment in Lea for this, though, just a worry for Isa’s health. Did the immune system get shot by how long they were dead? With how much they’d aged without it? He hadn’t thought of that.

“Isa, hey, do you think our immune systems are messed up because of that whole ‘we died and aged and have been to different worlds while this world was in darkness’ thing?” Lea asked, worry tinting his words. Isa had just worked up the nerve to snuggle into Lea’s arms when he had to look up at his friend’s face and roll his eyes.

“What happened to ‘don’t be dramatic,’ Lea? I’ll be fine, I’m not dying.” With Isa having to speak, Lea’s ruined all chances of Isa staying snuggled up to him. There were too many nerves involved with either of them making any form of ‘a move’ and calming the worry of losing such an important friendship more permanently. It was painful, their dance, but they couldn’t work up the courage to question why they kept bothering.

Isa shifted how he was laying and stared up at the ceiling. His chest hurt, coughing did more of a number on him than any other part of the cold, he’d forgotten how true that consistently held. “I wouldn’t mind something cold right now, though, as comfortable as your fingers in my hair has been.”

Lea brushed his fingers through Isa’s hair one more time, happy with how the action had been making Isa more comfortable despite how warm he was. Standing up, he stretched. Isa wasn’t sick enough to be free of getting mocked back if he was well enough to mock Lea. “What happened to ‘don’t leave,’ Isa? I was going to get you something to drink the first time too.”

“Oh,” Isa managed out, looking down at his hands. “I hadn’t realized you were planning on staying then too. I thought it was just… Never mind. Can I please have that water now?”

Lea leaned down and pushed hair from Isa’s forehead, checking for a fever with his lips again despite having done it recently. It wasn’t anything else, why would it be anything else? His lips lingered momentarily against his best friend’s skin, smiling despite himself, despite the fact that Isa was bedridden. 

“I’ll be right back,” Lea murmured, lips still too close to Isa’s skin to be strictly platonic. Maybe, eventually, they’d find the end of their ropes and do something bold, but for now, Lea was just going to pass it off as checking on Isa while he was sick.

Lea walked out to the kitchen and got as big a glass of ice water as possible, sticking it in the freezer while he rifled through the fridge and pantry for snacks. Eventually, he found something easy on sore throats and, forgetting the water he’d placed in the freezer, he returned to Isa.

“That’s… not something cold, Lea.” Isa looked confused, taking the snack and eating it, but confusion was written all over his face by Lea’s apparent inability to follow a simple request. “Can I have water at least?”

Blinking, Lea stared at his hands for a moment before rushing away to the kitchen, yelling behind him, “One sec! I forgot it! Sorry!”

Isa laughed, smiling at the gentle antics of being around Lea. Maybe he knew he was in love, maybe the sick was starting to cloud his brain just enough to forget that they weren’t together. It was comfortable, watching Lea return with a glass that was weirdly cold, hearing him explain how he put it in the freezer to make sure it stayed cold while he looked for a snack. 

It’d be so easy to kiss him.

And Lea watched Isa smile up at him, no trace of irritation on his face, not even the faked kind he liked to put up when Lea did something wrong that he found funny. It was probably the feeling of domesticity that came with taking care of someone when they were sick, but for a moment, Lea’s body forgot they weren’t together. That they were just friends and he was terrified of changing that. Lea again sat next to Isa on the bed, arm going around him and fingers going to his hair.

It’d be so easy to kiss him.

[sollea]

Warm Welcome

AkuSai Month ( hosted by @misomilk ) Day One Prompt: Change // "You’re going to be fine.” // “I used to trust you.”

I’m planning on trying to do one short thing per day, but I’m not sure.

Read the whole thing on AO3 here!

“You’re going to be fine,” Lea said with a smile, touching Isa’s shoulder gently and squeezing. “There’s no need to worry, Xion was telling me how excited she was to finally meet you for real. We had this whole, long talk about what happened towards the, uh, the first ending there. Roxas isn’t excited, but he wants to thank you for sticking your neck out for them both. Said you don’t even need to really apologize to him if you don’t wanna.”

Isa was too tired to really comprehend any of Lea’s words, too tired to keep sitting up. He still had all the exhaustion of all his various deaths resting on his shoulders. Sitting on the ground where he’d been found, he let himself slump against Lea. There was comfort in his best friend’s arms.

After a few moments, Isa managed to figure out most of what Lea had said, or at least figure out the sentiment behind it all. “None of that was what I was worried about when I said I just want to go home, Lea.”

“Huh? Then what’s wrong with heading to the tower?” Lea asked, shifting around so he could hold Isa, looking down at his best friend fondly. His best friend. 

“I want to be able to see Radiant Garden again without having to say goodbye to you again.”

“What d’you mean, Isa? Haven’t done that in years.”

“I woke up in the lab too. It wasn’t just you. I had some… assistance in waking up. Somehow, it was sped along. I had to walk away from you, say goodbye to heart and home again.”

“You lost your heart here right after waking up?”

“Not exactly. The help waking up was stealing my heart before I could wake again. I woke heartless, lost, confused. Then I saw you on the floor and I realized what I’d lost again and why and… that was their mistake,” Isa said, closing his eyes as he let himself lean against Lea’s chest, swimming in the sound of his heartbeat. “I believe your heart reached out to mine, held onto it and immediately tried to shove it back into me when I saw you.”

“Isa, that’s ridiculous.” Lea laughed and rolled his eyes. “Hearts can’t do that.”

“But I felt more the second time around, faster too. You saw me on the clocktower, I know you could feel it, it wasn’t quiet.” The sound of Lea’s heart helped him focus through the pain. “Either way, I’m back and would like help… not wearing this.”

Lea snorted, looking down at his own clothes. He hadn’t bothered changing yet either. They’d put the cloaks on together and he wanted them to take them off together. Face suddenly red without him wanting it to be, Lea looked to the side and smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, I wanna not wear this either.”

Isa squinted his eyes at Lea. “You said I’d be fine, but how about you? Are you going to go right to embarrassing yourself?”

“Maybe I am! You can’t stop me,” Lea snapped, huffing and falling back onto the lab floor. It wasn’t comfortable being here, he’d kicked the apprentices out when he noticed Isa coming to, wanting to be alone… and now he was glad.

“Alright, whatever you say.” Isa got up and stretched, looking down at Lea expectantly. “Take me shopping?”

“What do you mean? Fairies have an outfit for you all made up. It’s right here,” Lea said, pointing over to two matching briefcase-looking things. Suitcases, perhaps? Isa was confused.

“They made something for… me of all people?” Isa was confused, touched. It must have been Lea.

“Wasn’t even my idea.” Well, that proved Isa wrong uncomfortably fast. “Xion got her new look and asked the fairies to prepare something for you. And, no, none of us have looked, so I can’t tell you if they got it right or not.” Lea waved a hand dismissively as he spoke before getting up. He walked over and grabbed both suitcases, holding the blue one out to Isa. 

Isa carefully took the suitcase and looked it over. “I’ll… go change, I guess. Is the place close enough to as it was that I’ll be able to find a room?”

Lea shrugged, grabbing Isa’s hand. “I gotta change too, let’s do it together?”

Isa smiled a soft smile, the first one he’d managed through the pain of recompletion. “I think you were right earlier.”

“About what?”

“Saying I’ll be fine.”

[sollea]

Winners

Read it on AO3 here! First of a couple AkuSai short pieces for 7/8!

“I bet I can get us both winner sticks,” Isa said, watching Lea stare at yet another losing stick. Lea’s luck with the sticks had always been absolutely horrible. Honestly, it was so horrible that not even Isa poked fun at him about it too often. It was really bad.

“Both at once? That’s not even possible! Nobody ever gets two,” Lea said, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout as he looked at his best friend. Never in either of their lives had they seen a group get multiple winners sticks! It’s like the duck remembered where they got put! … because the duck probably did remember where they were and the duck must’ve hated Lea.

Isa had said that idea Lea wouldn’t stop repeating was ridiculous multiple times. If it were the case, Isa would never get the sticks either because Lea buys both of them. It was either completely randomized or the duck placed them in an order to space them out at supposedly random intervals. If it was just the specific, he and Lea should’ve been able to figure it out when they watched the ice cream sales closely then sat down and did the math to find sticks. That hadn’t worked, so the duck couldn’t even know when a stick was coming up.

So Isa was just going to go in with luck carrying him, luck and the desire to get Lea to smile. He was sure that he had enough want for that to get Lea that ice cream stick.

“Okay, Lea. Stand over there and don’t open your eyes, not even once, or it’ll mess it up with your really bad ice cream luck. Got it?” Isa’s last couple words rang in Lea’s ears and made him laugh. Isa looked down immediately, blushing slightly. He started to shove at Lea blindly, hand pushing at his friend’s shoulder and chest interchangeably. “Yeah, I hang out with you too much and you almost made me say it. Just do what I said.”

Lea eventually held up his hands in mock-surrender then ran off to sit in the spot Isa had told him to go, dramatically closing his eyes then covering them with his hands as well. Isa laughed, smiling gently at how stupid his best friend was. This was for Lea, this entire stupid attempt at incredible luck, and that’s the only reason Isa was convinced it might work.

It was so stupid, Isa reminded himself, so it would make sense to be prepared for no winner sticks. The power of love and friendship didn’t actually mean anything in the real world, only storybooks and video games. 

But still, he was confident as he asked the duck for two ice creams, smiling despite himself. He was entirely unsure if the duck had ever seen him smile, but didn’t dwell on it too much. The duck didn’t know why he was smiling and nobody ever would.

Two ice creams in hand, he had a moment of excitement as he could swear he felt his plan working. He’d make Lea smile no matter what, so that must’ve been what he felt. There was no way his brag would come true, it was totally impossible. There was no way.

“Alright, Lea, I’m b—” Isa stopped himself mid-sentence when he noticed Lea smiling and moving his hands away to try to catch what Isa was doing now that he was back. Isa wasn’t about to let that happen. “No, hey, no. No opening your eyes yet, you’ll somehow change both of them to suck.”

“You already bought them, Isa, they’re locked in! The sticks won’t change just ‘cause I can see them!” Lea pouted. Isa couldn’t see his friend’s eyes, but he still knew he was being attacked by puppy dog eyes. “You and I both know that’s not how things work.”

“Hey, don’t discount your magic. Y’know, the ‘You’ve Never Gotten A Winner Stick’ magic that you’ve got,” Isa said, working on adjusting his face so he would be back to his straight face by the time Lea opened his eyes. He didn’t want to start the exchange with as fond a smile as he had on his face.

“It’s a curse. It’s an ice cream curse!” Lea exclaimed, waving his hands around while making a show of squeezing his eyes closed for Isa.

“Exactly, now keep your eyes closed and hold out one hand so I can give you the ice cream. Eat it then you can open your eyes,” Isa instructed, carefully placing the ice cream in Lea’s open hand. Lea, being himself, refused to close his fingers around the stick without Isa pushing them closed. The prolonged contact with his best friend’s hand caused him to blush and look down. “Okay, eat it now. I’ll eat mine.”

It was never not a contest, a contest of who could eat the ice cream the fastest and prove Isa’s claim right or wrong. Lea’s eyes flew open the moment Isa complained of eating too fast, taking that as Isa giving him permission to look.

Grin split across his face, sudden and wide. It was a wonder how he didn’t hurt himself with how wide he was stretching his muscles. 

“Isa! Look, I’ve got one!” 

Triumphant words rang in Isa’s ears, causing him to look up and smile a small, happy smile. The look on Lea’s face was more than worth all the stupid dramatics he’d just pulled. He’d been planning on quickly switching out Lea’s stick with an old winner, but he’d gotten too flustered. Isa was glad it worked without.

“So?” Lea pressed, using the stick to point to Isa’s. “You gonna look?”

Isa blinked and looked at his own, bursting out into a laughter that he hadn’t ever let ring out outside Lea’s room. 

“What? What is it? Isa, lemme see! You lost, didn’t you?” Lea continued to accost Isa with questions and exclamations until Isa lowered the stick so Lea could see.

“We both won,” Isa said after his laughter died down, looking at Lea with a fond smile. Maybe the power of love wasn’t complete garbage after all.

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch17

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Isa(, Balsam) Words: 1959 Read the entire fic on AO3

Summary: Dog crimes and emotions.

Moving with access to two other houses to live in during the process could’ve been far more comfortable, but Lea insisted that they should just move in right away. Bring whatever they could in boxes that day and fall asleep on the floor with an excitable and confused dog.

It wasn’t exactly Lea’s most comfortable idea, but sitting on the floor with an open pizza box and fighting to keep the dog away from it while laughing was a gentle kind of comfortable. Lea with his phone out and Isa physically wrestling a pizza slice away from Balsam was a scene that anyone would smile at.

“Get that— No! Balsam, get that out of your mouth. Onions are bad for dogs.”

“Told you we shouldn’t have gotten onions on the pizza!” Lea couldn’t stop laughing, his breathing was ragged and his sides hurt as he watched Isa wrestling an entire pizza slice out of Balsam’s mouth.

“That is absolutely not the problem, Lea. The problem is we don’t have a table in the house yet and we ordered pizza and I wanted onions.”

“It’s the moving experience! C’mon, we’re gonna have coffee out of bowls tomorrow and it’ll be fun.”

“Lea, if Balsam manages to eat this and thinks he can get away with it later, I’m going to kill you.”

Lea snorted and opened the pizza box carefully, watching Balsam move his head towards the sound immediately, dropping the pizza slice so he could lunge for the pizza box just as it closed against his nose. Lea grinned a triumphant grin while Isa picked up the soggy pizza slice, shoving it into a bag they’d brought along for garbage. 

Isa, now without a dog in his arms, smiled. Lea didn’t get to see it for long because Isa immediately grabbed Balsam again and buried his face in the dog’s fur. Muffled laughing could be heard from Isa as Balsam began to whine and wiggle, wanting to be free for more attempts at pizza theft. 

Lea joined in on the laughing, shaking his head. “So, was I right? Is this fun? Having the moving experience is fun?”

“I’m not responding to your question, Lea. I have a dog in my face.”

“The dog has your face on him.”

“I suppose he does.” Isa looked up from the dog and sighed, content smile on his face. “You’re obnoxious.”

“I missed hearing the fondness in those words,” Lea moved over to sit directly next to Isa and Balsam, kissing Isa’s cheek and scratching at Balsam’s head. “I’m only as obnoxious as you are rude to me.”

“I’m only rude to you when you’re being obnoxious. Or when you were obnoxious when it’d be bad to be rude to you, like when we’re in public and trying to make a good impression.”

“Like when?”

“When we were trying to get picked up as apprentices is one time I can think of. Oh, when we were trying to reintroduce me to Kairi, you were being horrible when I was trying to apologize for what I, personally, put her through,” Isa said, shoving gently at Lea’s shoulder then resting against it. “I felt bad, but you wouldn’t let me. It was horrible, you’re a horrible friend.”

“That was one of the first times I got you to smile after I got you back, wasn’t it?”

“I smiled when I saw your face the moment I woke up. How long did you wait for me? I wasn’t told.”

“Oh, you woke up right away. I think it took a few hours at most. Most of the damage you got was from Roxas and his light attacks. I’m not sure any of my attacks towards the end even hit. I don’t think you can get hurt when you’re in the middle of starting that whole thing, can you?”

“Not that I’m aware of, though, I’m not aware of much when I’m in that state. It’s not really me, especially during that last fight. I was further gone than I’d planned on being.” Isa sighed and took his hand away from the dog’s fur, moving it so he could fully snuggle up against Lea. “It was scary a lot of the time. I don’t want to talk about it much, but with power came… great horror. I thought every time that I would finally just lose myself. Then the final battle came about and all of us were more formidable, not through training, but through additional giving ourselves away. Xion was saved from that only because she was able to take from me enough that it wasn’t necessary to have her become a darkness in… other ways.”

Lea sighed and ran his fingers through Isa’s hair. “Hey, we don’t need to talk about things you don’t want to talk about. We’re fine to just… sit here with our dog in our new house. We can be happy for a while. Get ready for rougher things later, yeah? I don’t think checking our old houses for our parents every night’s gonna be easy on us.”

“That’s… Yes, that’s why I…” Isa tightened in on himself more. “Never mind, it’s fine.”

Lea took in a breath. “I’m not saying we can’t talk about it now, just that you don’t have to. It’s like you putting the tears on my face are commanding me to stop crying, it’s just… reminding me that you’re there for me. That I can.”

Isa nodded, moving his hand to grab onto Lea’s shirt instead of leaving it curled against his chest. It took him a few minutes to speak again, letting Balsam slide between him and Lea. Collected into himself again, he took in a deep breath. “I had enough darkness in my heart to be counted among the chosen.”

“Wasn’t that your plan?”

“Yes, but it worked.” 

Lea could feel Isa’s hand shaking as he tried to keep holding onto his shirt. The dejection in his voice stung, hearing Isa’s heart break again was too painful. “You’re not actually full of darkness, Isa. You’re a good person.”

“Only I am. I have more than the man who used to experiment on people, Lea. Yes, that was the plan, it was exactly the plan, but he…” Isa’s voice was breaking in a way Lea hadn’t heard in years. Perhaps ever, perhaps the memory of hearing Isa like this was his mind reassuring Lea that his friend wasn’t broken beyond repair, that surely this had happened before. “I let myself fall. I leaned into it. I leaned so far into it that I’m not sure I’ve come back all the way.”

Lea held his breath as he realized now was a time to not say anything. He just held Isa as he felt the other man’s chest heaving. Gentle touches to let Isa know he was still there would hopefully be enough to help Isa come back. Falling apart was never fun, especially when things were going right. Lea was slowly learning to recognize that being broken wouldn’t always feel permanent, but it… probably was.

Isa cried for so long that Balsam walked away, sitting at the door patiently like he’d been taught to do when he wanted to leave a building. They couldn’t get up, he’d have to wait. Isa clung to Lea’s shirt for so long that the Radiant sun began to set, something Lea had hoped would be exciting to see for the first time in their new house. Isa’s breathing returning to normal took a few minutes more than the sun took to set. When he sounded like he was back in control, he wrapped his arms entirely around Lea. 

“Sorry. It just all hit me again,” Isa mumbled against Lea’s chest. “It all hit me. That I’m not worthy of all of this. That coming back twice was far more than I deserved.”

“Hey. Hey, no. That’s not true at all and I’m not gonna let you say it.” Lea’s words were firm, his opinion on the matter unbending. “I was gonna just let you cry it out, but I can’t let you think I agree with that. You deserve everything that’s happened since you came back. You risked yourself for everyone, all worlds. Literally everyone that exists. You risked your life again when you organized a coup. I’m never sure what any of those assholes, Xemnas and all the rest of them, would do, but we’ve seen people punished before. Hell, even back in the original Organization, you were sticking out your neck more than anyone. Nothing you did was darkness for evil’s sake. I… caused plenty of your darkness and I’m sorry. We’d been able to talk without words for so long, but you just weren't understanding and I never… bothered to try. I know I’m talking a lot, but I need you to realize that you feel bad about things that you caused and it wasn’t entirely on you. We fell apart for a while.” Lea adjusted his hold on Isa, burying his fingers and face in the other man’s hair. “I would’ve come back to you if I could have, Isa. If I wasn’t kicked out. I still loved you, leaving you alone on purpose was never my play. I didn’t get Roxas, I didn’t get to try again. I was still mad, but I would’ve tried. I wanted to save her as much as you did and I… wanted to save you. Once I realized how… bad it was. I was so fucking selfish as Axel, I’m still selfish, I’m making this about me without meaning to, but…

“But I love you. So much. You’re more light than I’ve ever been. You hide it real well, but… It’s all you.”

Lea’s words were heard, but Isa couldn’t manage a proper response to them. They sat in near-silence, Balsam’s whining and chattering had grown in volume, but there was nothing either of them could really do about it. 

Isa eventually fell asleep against Lea’s chest, leaving Lea to carefully lay the other man on the floor, making sure to not wake him. He was lucky Isa was such a sound sleeper because, despite getting him moved away from his chest and nearly on the floor, his hands slipped and he dropped Isa. All that greeted Lea’s mistake was a noise from Isa and a small adjustment of how he was laying.

Lea got up and put Balsam’s harness on, hushing him as nails hit the floor and excited barks tried to communicate just how badly he had to go outside.

It was a long walk, exercise for Balsam and a way to clear Lea’s head. He stopped briefly to talk to Yuffie, one of the people who made an appearance every time Balsam was taken out for a walk. By the time Lea returned home, it was the dead of night and Isa was still on the floor.

Lea knelt down next to Isa, looking at the visibly uncomfortable sleeping man. Sighing, Lea pushed hair out of Isa’s face. And of course the most gentle and careful motion was what woke Isa up. 

“Sorry, Isa. Go back to sl-” Lea couldn’t finish his sentence before Isa interrupted him as though he hadn’t heard Lea at all.

“Are you ready to find them?” Isa asked, propping himself up on his elbow and rubbing at his eyes with his other hand, yawning immediately after words escaped his lips. He moved to lean on Lea’s legs, closing his eyes. It was almost as if he’d forgotten the breakdown.

“Yeah, I think I am,” Lea said, nodding, confused by the sudden question. “But that’s not what’s important right now. Are you?”

“I will be soon enough. We should start tomorrow.”

[sollea]

Chapter 3 is up! x

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch16

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Isa, Ienzo(, Balsam) Words: 1611 Read the entire fic on AO3

Summary: House hunting with Ienzo. Dog time!

They’d gone home to look over things and decide what homes they should actually bother going to check out. Isa sat down almost instantly because didn’t feel like going through papers while standing up. Felt too much like the past for comfort. Standing and going through paperwork was too Saïx for comfort.

“So, are any of those locations places you’d be interested in living? They weren’t ideal home locations when we were younger, but, I assure you, they’re very nice now, even if isolated from most everyone else,” Ienzo hovered over Isa’s shoulder as they looked at the papers. 

Looking up at Ienzo, Isa shrugged. “It’s not as if we’re against walking to get places we want to go. The main world area is small enough that it doesn’t matter much, it’s not as if any of these homes are in the surrounding area that we can’t get to but by boat, right? Unless I’m mistaken? Lea?”

Lea had wandered from the kitchen table to the fridge a few minutes before Ienzo and Isa actually started talking about things, so when he was directly addressed, he blinked. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Am I making a mistake in assuming we don’t mind the outskirts of town?”

“Nah, I just want a place big enough that people can crash when they visit and Balsam can be happy without breaking things with his giant body,” Lea said as he gestured to the dog sitting directly next to him while the fridge door was open. He’d opened it to get a snack while the other two were talking, bored of talk and papers. Balsam was a magnet to the open fridge, watching for any opening to steal food right out of it. “We have a fridge and some space and we’re all happy.”

“Ah, yes, that does take some of these homes out, I believe. Not all of them have had appliances installed.” Ienzo began to pull some of the papers aside, taking them away from Isa without letting him have any real say in it being taken. Isa sat back and watched as Ienzo decided which houses weren’t worth their time. Suddenly, nobody was able to do any work as a dog bounded over to the people who didn’t just eat food without giving him any.

Balsam shoved his nose against Ienzo’s leg, whining for attention after the heinous crime Lea had just committed. Ienzo looked down at the dog then up at Lea. “Did you not give him anything?”

“He’ll get fat, Ienzo,” Lea said, perched on the kitchen counter with a bowl of leftover curry. “And dogs can’t eat everything I’m eating. It’s got onions and I think garlic?”

“Of course it has garlic. It’s the curry, right? Why would it not have garlic in it, Lea? Would either of us make something without garlic?” Isa reaches down to scratch at Balsam’s head. “No curry for you, no matter how many times you ask.”

Ienzo frowned and looked from dog to Isa. “But if he’s asking for food, doesn’t that mean he’s hungry?”

Immediately after the word “hungry” passed through Ienzo’s lips, Balsam barked and bounced. Isa tapped the table, drawing Balsam’s attention back to him. Paws hit Isa’s legs and legs were turned away from the dog. Ignoring Balsam’s behavior was the only real way to get it to stop. Isa collected the papers that remained on the table and looked at Ienzo. “Well, I think we’ve narrowed it down enough. As soon as Lea puts the curry he didn’t even warm up-”

“It’s fine like this,” Lea interjected, offended by Isa’s pointed attack on his unwillingness to bother warming food up.

“It’s disgusting like that. Warm up your food,” Isa snapped. Breathing slowly, he handed Lea the papers and took the bowl away from him, shoving it straight into the fridge. “We’ll come back and you can eat that after you warm it up. You are not immune to having your food bowl taken away.”

Lea stared at the papers in his hands and sighed, shaking his head in mock-disappointment. “Wow, Isa, just stealing my food. What if I wanted to hang out here for a while?”

“We shouldn’t be keeping Ienzo,” Isa said, rolling his eyes. “Not so you can sit around and not warm up your curry.”

“I’m actually fine here, I’ve been told there’s no rush for me to come back to the lab. Apparently I’ve been overworking myself, but none of the other apprentices have been willing to tell me.” Ienzo shrugged, looking down at the dog who was again at his feet. “I enjoy being around you both, if you don’t mind me being here.”

Lea snorted and hopped off the counter, handing the papers to Ienzo. “Why would we mind? I’d think you’d mind being around us. Me.”

“Lea,” Isa said in a flat voice. The kitchen was not the place for Lea’s existential dread and guilt anymore, it tore Isa’s heart and soul to shreds to think about… things. “Please don’t.”

Lea rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed. “Yeah, okay, well.” He looked to Ienzo. “You wanna show us where those places are?”

“Ah! Yes. Yes, we can go.” Ienzo shuffled the papers around based on how close the homes were then smiled up at the two. “Can we take your dog as well? Maybe he’d like to see your possible new homes?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Hey, Balsam, wanna go on a w-” Lea was stopped by the dog bolting for the door, bouncing happily by the place they kept his harnesses, the current one and the last one he’d grown out of that they hadn’t thrown away yet. Balsam was happily barking and Lea smiled, amused. There was nothing better to bring a person back to good thoughts than a happy dog. 

Isa walked over and calmly got Balsam into his harness and clipped the leash on. “You’ve alerted the dog, we have to go now or Balsam will rip my arm off.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming.” Lea gestured for Ienzo to come with him as he exited the kitchen, holding up his fingers to count down from three for Isa. Balsam had a tendency to try to bolt out of the house and he was getting too big to do that without preparation. He opened the door with his hand in fist, watching with glee in his eyes as Balsam’s excitement redirected from the doorknob to the outside world.

Isa held tight to the leash despite Balsam’s pulling until the dog circled back. He was still an excitable puppy, so pulling was all too frequent at the start of walks, so they had to find something for him to keep him from dislocating shoulders with the strength he didn’t know he had. It had been a few months since they got him, so he was getting bolder in his attempts to break the rules. It was a good thing Lea and Isa had practice with dogs from their first time as somebodies. 

Ienzo watched silently as Isa got Balsam under control. Lea and Isa watched Ienzo walk up to the dog and begin to pet him, forgetting momentarily that they were doing something that wasn’t just about the dog. Eventually, he looked up at the two taller men and let out a small, “Oh,” before leading the way to the houses Isa had chosen to look at.

The first house was nothing special, it was small for Radiant Garden, far away from the main hub of life. It was furnished, so they had to keep Balsam on his leash to avoid ruining things that might not become theirs. Isa loved it, but Lea hated the idea of not having more space when they had a dog and enough friends to populate a small world. Isa eventually agreed that the small house just wouldn’t work out, no matter how comfortable it was to stand inside. 

The next home was bigger, completely barren, and closer to the town they were familiar with. Technically not a stone’s throw from houses that were originally good with the upkeep, but Isa could easily make it one. After Lea double checked the doors to make sure they were all closed, Isa took the leash off of Balsam’s harness and let him roll around on the floor, quickly attracting Ienzo’s attention again.

Isa walked to stand next to Lea, leaning against the taller man with a smile on his face. “Is there any point to looking at the other places?”

“I mean, yeah? But not extensively… We both know we’re just gonna love this one, don’t we?” Lea was never sure what to do when Isa was initiating the affection, so he just stood there until Isa sighed and moved Lea’s arm back with his shoulder. They were back to being able to communicate silently, Lea knew exactly what that meant, he did it to Isa every single day. Wrapping his arm around Isa and placing his hand on the other man’s waist was more than comfortable. He was happy. They were starting their own life that didn’t include going through hell.

Isa continued to watch Ienzo play with the dog then looked up at Lea, smiling gently. “Think this can be home?”

“You know anywhere can be home when I know I’m with you,” Lea spoke quietly while meeting Isa’s gaze. “We just gotta know.”

Isa nodded and leaned to kiss Lea gently before turning back to look at their friend, the youngest that called Radiant Garden home, play with their puppy. Balsam was getting big, Ienzo was getting comfortable, and they were finding home.

[sollea]

Commission by @aarokun of Naminé in Isa’s old jacket based on Ch13 of D&C.

Do Not Tag As Ship.

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch15

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Isa, Even, Ienzo Words: 2354 Read the entire fic on AO3

Summary: Checking housing records to get a new house. Apprentice time.

“Are you two unhappy holding residence in both the homes you currently have?” A slightly raised voice came from Even. It wasn’t angry, just confused and Even had a tendency to emote in a rather loud fashion.

“It’s not that, we want to leave our childhood homes for other reasons,” Isa said plainly, shaking his head and sighing. “We have plans that would be hurt by not moving out.”

“Are you two planning on searching for people again? Might I suggest asking for assistance and explaining your plans before doing things? Many of us would like to help again.”

“Even, I appreciate the offer, but we would very much like to not chance doing what we are doing without a keyblade being present. We’re unsure of how deaths of nobodies and returns of somebodies would be changed without a keyblade in the area.” Isa sighed and shook his head. “And, as I’m sure you know, this isn’t something we should really be experimenting with.”

Heavy silence came from Even, joining with Lea’s. The problem with earning forgiveness was that a person’s guilt was often stronger than any comfort given. A single string of words could drag past mistakes to light, even if it wasn’t what was what anyone had intended.

Even and Lea only briefly locked eyes, but the feeling that created was awkward enough that it caused Isa to step between them to direct attention back to the conversation at hand. Things were in the past and Isa had told the both of them time and time again that they nobody was mad at anyone else. Most everyone looked for atonement in some way and those who looked deserved forgiveness.

Lea rubbed at the back of his head and laughed. “So, yeah, we just wanna make sure if our parents end up coming back, we’re not living where they are. Don’t wanna push anyone else outta their homes either, since everyone coming back’s the same age as before.”

“Ah, yes, that has been strange, hasn’t it? The process that caused people to become the lesser nobodies-”

Even was cut off by Lea coughing and leaning back, scratching at the back of his head and waiting for both pairs of eyes to be on him before speaking. “Should we really be calling them that?”

“What?” Even’s expressions were ever-changing, so Lea had always found it funny to mess with him to get new, incredibly funny faces. Sometimes it really felt like maybe there could have been ways for them to have stopped hurtling the world towards the fall and be a weird part of the science family.

Lea almost wanted to have that. It took him a few moments to pull himself back to make fun of the scientist.

“Lesser? Like we were better than them?”

“I can tell you’re feeling better about what transpired between us if you’re making comments about things you don’t care about.” Even frowned, shaking his head at the childish antics.

“Nah, I totally care about this,” Lea said with a smug grin on his face.

“No you don’t,” Isa said, rolling his eyes back at Lea.

Lea shoved at Isa’s shoulder with a laugh. “Wow, thanks, Isa. Not gonna let me have any fun today.”

“We have things to do and leaving a 6 month old husky puppy alone only works for so long.” Isa frowned and shook his head, brushing off his annoyance at being shoved.

“I told you we shoulda brought him along. Ienzo loves him,” Lea insisted.

“Not in the lab he doesn’t,” Even said, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nah, he likes him in the lab, you’re just no fun.” Lea snorted.

“Have you taken your dog that you don’t even trust at home into the lab?” Even frowned, his entire face twisting up in displeasure.

“It’s not that we don’t trust Balsam, it’s that he gets lonely,” Lea said with a roll of his eyes.

Even rolled his eyes and gestured for the two younger men to follow him. “If you wanted me to hurry, you should have just said so instead of letting us stand around.”

The younger two knew not to bother with any additional arguments against what Even said. Talking while walking had been what they’d wanted the entire time, but asking for a new house had stopped Even in his tracks. Lea bumped his hand against Isa’s as they walked, hoping to have it held, but Isa didn’t respond.

“While you two are here, there’s been discussion in the castle over how you used to be important assets to our team while we were unaware of your true standings,” Even spoke evenly, not allowing any interruption with his words’ spacing.

However, he took a breath, leading to Isa interrupting. “We were apprentices, yes, but some of you treated us as experiments ourselves. We died in the coat, you surely remember that.”

“Well, yes! But beyond that. You were very-”

“Useful. Yes. We know.” Isa sighed and shook his head. “We’re all working towards apologies, but that doesn’t mean all has been forgotten. You know that. It’s why you can’t be around Lea for extended periods of time. You’re capable of irrational fear and grudges that have been forgiven.”

“Still, you both have a job here if you ever change your mind. We would all like a second chance at truly working with you, smart as you used to be.”

“Thanks, but I’m busy being a keyblade wielder,” Lea said with a wave of his hand.

“And I will not work here until Ienzo is king. I want someone I trust in control.” Isa spoke firmly, not caring who heard him. Forgiveness was something earned and didn’t have to be verbally asked for, but sometimes the words used to ask caused apologies to be left unaccepted.

“Besides, Isa’s got a keyblade now too, so he doesn’t need the job,” Lea said with a proud grin, watching Isa cringe out of the corner of his eye.

“That holds no bearings on what I can and can’t do. I haven’t summoned it more than twice.”

“From what I’ve been told about keyblades, someone must first bequeath a keyblade to the person who later summons it outside of certain circumstances,” Even began, looking at Isa as if he hadn’t heard the discomfort in the younger man’s voice. It was likely he hadn’t and the curiosity had taken over. “Did someone give you your keyblade in any manner?”

“No.” Isa’s answer was short, not wanting to discuss it further.

“Don’t think anyone gave me mine, actually,” Lea said, rubbing at the back of his head as he thought about it. “Maybe when Ven kicked my ass with his toy one?”

“I’d like to stop trying to figure this out and continue walking. I want to have a house decided on within the next year.” Isa spoke with an edge, irritates by the continued discussion of a topic he hated.

“Of course. Let us continue,” Even said with a nod, leading the two deeper into the castle so they could search the old census and housing records from before the fall. “Would you two like to stop by the lab? It’s been a while since you’ve come by and I believe Ienzo misses having someone younger around.”

Lea snorted at that. “Last time we were here, I told him to shut it. Which was a little shitty of me after… Well, I’m sure he’s mentioned what happened.”

“No. He has not.” Even raised an eyebrow and Lea had to push through wanting to laugh at the man’s face when talking about serious things.

“Let’s not talk about it right now. Don’t wanna think about that stuff too much. Bet none of us do.”

“Ah, I suppose that… makes sense.” Even’s words had a bite to them, but everyone knew nothing would come of it. The past twelve or so years had been hard to stay good through, grudges weren’t being held except for a very select few. The only people who held grudges against the three who walked the halls of the castle together were themselves.

Lea, again, bumped his hand against Isa’s, this time hooking one of his fingers around Isa’s pinky. Isa looked down at their hands, pulling away slightly before he fully processed what Lea was asking for. It was easy to tell Isa had figured it out because his grip on hand was immediate and strong. Isa was shaken to the core over something and Lea searched his best friend’s face for an answer as to what it was.

It hit him suddenly that they were inside the castle when he started talking about keyblades. “Hey, Even, go on ahead? We’ll catch up. I just realized I had something I wanted to say to Isa and I don’t wanna forget it.”

“Something you can’t get memorized?” Even’s voice was flat again, only his face giving away his emotion. Eyebrow raised with a slight quirk of his mouth, Lea knew a smug look when he saw one.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for helping us out with this, no need to make sure I know you’re an asshole.”

Even looked at Lea with a very suddenly exhausted face and shook his head before turning to walk. “I’ll be… how would you say it? Leaving now.”

Lea snorted, immediately distracted from what he’d been planning on doing. Isa squeezed Lea’s hand to bring him back as soon as Even was out of earshot.

“What is it you want to talk about?”

“Well, I said I was gonna make an effort to stop being so selfish. I wanted to make sure I apologized to you right away without having anyone else around.” As Lea spoke, his free hand rubbed at the back of his head. He let out a nervous chuckle. “Don’t wanna let you think I was making you uncomfortable on purpose. I’m just proud of you. I dunno exactly how you got the keyblade-”

“We both know how it happened,” Isa interrupted, staring directly at the floor. “The way I got the thing isn’t even a reason to trust it. We held your keyblade together, remember? The night you were trying to make it all stop again.”

Lea blinked and let go of Isa’s hand, standing still for a moment as he professed the truth in Isa’s words.

“You’re right, I guess.” He took in a deep breath and wrapped his arms around the other man, fingers brushing through blue hair. He kissed the top of Isa’s head. “Sorry that thing’s got nothing but bad memories right now. I was thinking, maybe you use it while we try to find our parents?”

Isa was still, not returning the hug and barely leaning into it. “I suppose. I’m not very happy about the idea of being the one to bring my parents back, but that’s not fair to you, leaving you with more of the dirty jobs because I continue to put work onto others’ shoulders.”

“Hey. Isa, no. You stop that,” Lea spoke softly. “Wanna head home? I can get the stuff here finished?”

Isa breathed deeply, remaining otherwise silent. After a few long, heavy moments passed, Isa brought his arms up to hug Lea in return. “I’m fine. It’s no trouble. Just give me a moment and I’ll be fine.”

Lea brushed his fingers through Isa’s hair again and nodded, resting his face on the top of Isa’s head. “Love you.”

Time passed as they stood in one of the castle’s halls, but they didn’t pay much attention to that. With no idea how long it had been, they slowly parted and looked down the hall to where Even had gone. They weren’t afraid of the castle, but with how much they’d been thinking about recently, holding each other’s hand seemed like the best idea.

They must have been out of it for a while because they almost immediately saw Even walking back with Ienzo in tow, carrying papers.

“Lea, Isa, it’s very nice to see you both. Even said you were looking for a new place to live?” Ienzo began to walk faster than the other scientist, holding papers out to Isa. “I trust these will be enough information for you. The homes I have pulled have been vacant since long before the fall. They were in disrepair before the fall as well, but in the committee’s rebuilding efforts, they repaired these as well. You may move into whichever you choose, just tell us when you do so we can keep housing records up to date.”

It was good Isa had prepared himself to keep up with whatever scientist they ended up talking to because Lea hadn’t. While Lea processed Ienzo’s words, Isa nodded and smiled.

“Thank you, Ienzo. I hope we didn’t take too long to join you.”

“Oh, no, not at all. With both Even and I looking, it was simple enough to locate the information. It’s all been recently organized and this information is necessary to know on a regular basis.” Ienzo was still smiling. “If you’d like, I can get someone to help show you around the houses and move things with you?”

“I think we can do it on our own, thank you, Ienzo,” Isa said with a nod, looking through the papers.

“If you’re offering to come with us and hang out, though, that’s totally fine.” Deciding to let Isa deal with looking at the papers he’d been handed alone unless a request came for help, Lea grinned at Ienzo. “Bet you’d like to see how much Balsam’s grown since you saw him, what? Last month?”

“I’d like that very much, thank you.” Ienzo looked over at Even, asking for permission that he’d never tried to get before.

Even sighed and shook his head. “You are an adult, Ienzo. Go have fun, you were already taking a small break from your work.”

“Please let Master Ansem know as well?” Ienzo had bright eyes along with the smile on his face, happy to be spending the day with friends. Friends who were more than happy to have him join them.

[sollea]

Gift I did for the @kingdomhearts-exchange 😘

Characters: Strelitzia, Skuld

Rating: G

Summary: Longing for loved ones is more painful when you're the one who is lost, but it's better when you have people with you. People and hope. Conversation in the Final World.

[sollea]

Xion and Lea get Isa a puppy. (His name is Balsam, after the balsamic moon)

Commission by @naotoosh to go along with my fic - Dolorem et Consolationem. Specifically Chapter Two.

Xion is wearing this shirt. Olette bought it for Xion, Kairi and Naminé (and herself). 

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch14

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Isa Words: 1838 Read the entire fic on AO3

Summary: Childish actions with dorks. 

“You know, you proposed to me in these letters at least three separate times,” Lea said, curled up on the couch against Isa. Roxas has found somewhere around twenty letters and had handed all of them over, letting Isa dwell in the embarrassment of them being found at all.

The kids had left them alone for about ten minutes after the letters were first given back, but had bounded down the stairs at top speed - Isa swore Roxas didn’t even bother touching the ground with how fast it happened - and announced they’d be leaving with Balsam. Apparently it was teenager-approved date night and the Twilight Town kids needed to meet ‘Xion’s baby puppy.’

Once the kids left, Lea and Isa sat down and stared at the letters for a while, Lea not sure if Isa really wanted him to read more than one. He did eventually read them all, by the time he was done, he was crying. Shaking Isa off with a smile, he read the letters again. And again. He never wanted to let them go, they were Lea’s new favorite possession.

“You should propose to me outside of the letters,” Lea mused, starting his favorite one over again. “We can be husbands, just like you apparently used to want.”

Isa’s cheeks turned red as he muttered something Lea couldn’t hear and turned to face away from the man leaning against him. Isa was cocky and liked to pretend to be cool and aloof, but that didn’t stop the stupid things Lea said from embarrassing him.

“What was that? Couldn’t hear you,” Lea said with a laugh, looking up as Isa from where he’d settled his head and grinning. “You did want to be married in these letters? You specifically say marriage at least once. C’mon, don’t be so shy.”

Isa coughed and continued to avoid making eye-contact with Lea. “I said, ‘no chance I’ll be asking you something like that.’ You only made it worse.”

“Aw, guess it’s up to me, then,” Lea said with a laugh, leaning up to kiss Isa’s cheek then settling against his chest again. “I’ll have to get down on one knee and confess how much I love you. Make a big speech and woo you with my love.”

“Wait, no,” Isa looked down at Lea in a moment of horror that confused Lea.

“What’s up?”

“I… want to propose to you.” It was almost hard for Lea to hear, but he was actively trying to listen and Isa didn’t turn away again. “You… deserve romance, despite what little I do for you.”

Lea just smiled and moved to kneel on the couch, cupping Isa’s face in his hand gently to move it so he was looking towards Lea. “Then take your time, I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you do, I’ll say yes. I’m not looking for romance, I’m looking for you.”

“You say, romantically,” Isa said with a small sigh, shaking his head. “I want to wait. There are things I want to do first.”

“Honestly? Me too. Wanna have my mom’s cabbage that you hate again before I get hitched.”

Isa laughed and nodded his head. “Well, just not in our house.”

“We’ve been living in my old house! You can’t tell my mom to not cook in her own house.”

“That was another thing I wanted to do before we do anything about getting married… I wanted to ask the restoration committee if they know of any homes they rebuilt that were previously vacant.” As Isa spoke, Lea relaxed against his chest again. Isa began to play with Lea’s unruly hair, brushing his fingers through it and smiling. “I wanted our own house to live in instead of your parents’ house. As much as I miss them, I’m not going to live with your parents when we get them back.”

“You sound optimistic. It’s a nice look.”

“I thought I might try it, you look so good with it.”

Lea laughed and placed the letters down, gently tucked under his leg so they wouldn’t fall from the couch if either of them moved too much. He turned his head and kissed Isa’s chest. “I love you.”

“I know you do.”

“Not gonna say it back?”

“You have the letters.”

“Alright, fine. You want one of the embarrassing things I did as a kid, then? Is that what it’s gonna take to get you to say things back to me again?”

“That fully depends on what it is, Lea.”

Lea moved the letters to the coffee table almost instantly, wanting to be able to show Isa what it was that had him so embarrassed as a child. When he got up, there was a hop to his step as he rushed to the stairs like a child, excited to show someone something. Lea looked back to Isa for a moment, just in time to see a look of affection settle on the man’s face, then bounded up the stairs with an excitement he’d only had prior to their deaths.

Lea returned and immediately held a small box out to Isa, grin spread on his face in a way that seemed like it’d be next to impossible to get it off. “I got these for you right before we started looking for the girl. One of them for you, one of them for me. Open it.”

Isa took the box, but hesitated in opening it. He looked up at Lea with a raised eyebrow, not sure why these things would be embarrassing if Lea was so excited. Slowly, he opened the box, a soft, warm smile spreading on his face as he looked at the contents. “Lea, these are beautiful. Did your parents buy them?”

“Nah, I saved up money all year. They were a lot, but… y’know, I thought giving you the sun would be a good way to ask you out if I wasn’t chicken about it. And I’d give you the moon if I was. Chicken.” Lea rubbed at the back of his neck and looked up, laughing. “They were real expensive for a kid, but they’re probably not worth that much now. Anyways. Necklaces. You can have whichever one.”

“You said I’d get the sun?”

“Yeah, ‘cause I wanted to be the sun to your moon. And I wanted you to know you’ve got me.”

Isa picked up the moon necklace and gestured for Lea to come closer. Lea listened, leaning over with a smile, he could see exactly where this was going. Finding himself right, necklace placed around his neck, he laughed.

“And you have me.”

“Aw, you’re being sappy,” Lea said with a laugh, happy to tease Isa for the exact thing he’d been planning on doing.

“You are not allowed to make fun of me for that if you ever want it to happen again,” Isa said with a faux-stern tone and a shake of his head as if he was trying to scold the redhead.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Lea rolled his eyes and sat back on the couch, laying across Isa’s lap and grinning up at him. “I’ve got you.”

“I’ve got an overgrown child is what I have.”

“You are an overgrown child, Isa,” Lea grumbled, not appreciating the implications that he was childish enough that Isa wasn’t up there with him.

“And I aim to grow out of that, I fail to see you doing the same.”

Lea huffed and reached around on the couch until he found a pillow, immediately throwing it at Isa’s face. Grumpy expression faded from Lea’s face as he laughed, having fun with his best friend again.

“You see? Childish behavior. That’s exactly what I was saying I’m trying to stop,” Isa said while simultaneously shoving Lea off his lap and onto the floor.

“Hey!” Lea sat up with comical speed, bouncing back before he looked up with a glare.

“I never said I was succeeding.” Isa shrugged and smiled, offering Lea a hand.

Eyeing it suspiciously, Lea slowly took it, not trusting Isa for one second. The mistrust was misplaced as Isa helped Lea back up onto the couch. Lea, however, wasn’t going to let this be done. He straightened his shirt and took in a breath, refusing to look at Isa, staying in this position for a few moments before acting.

He all but pounced on Isa, shoving him backwards and laying with his full weight on him. IT would’ve been awful for Isa when they were kids, but Lea was still just long and lanky and Isa had muscles now, he was more than able to support Lea’s weight.

“What exactly is your point here?” Isa asked, shaking his head and pretending to be wholly disappointed in his friend.

Lea huffed and sat up, straddling Isa and looking down, trying to figure out how to continue this. He shoved his hand in Isa’s face as he thought, making the normally straight-faced man squirm and try to pull away from Lea’s hand.

Laughing, Lea decided to stop trying to think of new ideas and just lean into what he was doing, muffling Isa’s voice and annoying him by keeping his hand on his face. Isa didn’t care for being touched like that and Lea knew how to stop before it got really bad.

“Lea, I swear, you’re ridiculous,” Isa said, annoyance clear despite his voice being quiet.

“Oh? Am I?”

Defeat seemingly accepted, Isa ragdolled on the couch and let Lea have his moment of victory before licking his hand. Lea, paralyzed by confusion, stared at Isa who, despite having his face covered by Lea’s hand, seemed to be gloating. Removing his hand, he glared at the man under him.

The only way to respond in Lea’s mind was even more childish than any action. He leaned down and pressed his nose against Isa’s, staying still for a few moments before moving to the side quickly and licking up Isa’s entire face.

Isa shoved Lea off the couch again, this time causing Lea to bring his elbow down, through the coffee table.

“Ow, fuck.”

Isa sat up quickly then slid to the floor next to Lea, worried he’d pushed the game too far with his shove. “Lea, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” Lea grumbled, sitting up and rolling his shoulder, looking down at their poor coffee table. He gathered the letters and held them tightly in his hands. “Nothing a little cure won’t fix. I, uh… gotta agree with you on the ‘we should grow up’ thing, though. That might… be good for us.”

“Yeah. Start with brushing your teeth, we’ll get to the rest eventually.”

Lea rolled his eyes and gently shoved at Isa’s chest. “Shut up, I brush my teeth.”

“Then why does your breath still stink so bad?”

“It does not.”

“It does. Really, I’d suggest you go brush your teeth now before they fall out.”

“I hate you so much.”

Isa shook his head and leaned over to kiss Lea’s cheek. “I love you too.”

[sollea]

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem Ch13

LeaIsa fic. Characters in chapter: Lea, Xion, Roxas, Isa, Naminé Words: 1638 Read the entire fic on AO3

Chapter Summary: Letters returned. Naminé has a jacket now.

Things had calmed down for Lea. He’d taken a shower, washed his face and dried his hair, then spent about thirty minutes getting his eyeliner right. By the time he came back out, the kids were all there, sitting on the couch. Isa had disappeared, which was odd. Lea draped himself across the back of the couch and ruffled Xion and Roxas’s hair.

“Hey, guys. You know where Isa went?” Lea asked, as he moved back. Xion and Roxas quietly scooted away from each other as Lea’s leg came up over the back of the couch. He slid between the two teens and grinned, looking from one to the other before he remembered Naminé was supposed to be there too. “And did Naminé decide to not come?”

“No, Isa said he had something he wanted to give Naminé, so they disappeared. I think they left the house. She had a couple of her sketchbooks too,” Roxas spoke, fidgeting with something in front of him.

“Alright, well, what d’you have there?” Lea gestured to the small box Roxas was holding, confused by the nerves he’d never seen displayed by the kid.

“Uh. I don’t think I should tell you. It’s for Isa,” Roxas muttered, tapping his fingers on the box. He looked like a puppy who had done something horrible.

Xion leaned forward to reach across Lea and tap at the box. “They’re the letters he’s been finding. We think they’re Isa’s, they match his handwriting.”

“You have… letters Isa wrote and you’ve just been collecting them?” Lea let his legs both slide down and, as his feet hit the ground, he spoke again, “You better not have found things that are super personal to him, Roxas. If you can’t tell me what you found, I’m gonna be pretty disappointed in you. I know you weren’t exactly raised by anyone, but, c’mon. Would you like to write things and have someone else read ‘em?”

“Are you saying Xemnas didn’t read the diary entries I wrote?”

“Xemnas is the worst example possible, Roxas,” Lea said, rolling his eyes. “Also? I have no idea. Xemnas was hard to really… know what he was doing. Isa and I spent years trying to do only that and… I really have no clue what he did and didn’t do.”

Roxas grumbled something and looked at the carefully folded, old letters. “Well, did Saïx read them? He told me to write the diary, I bet he read what I wrote somehow.”

“Saïx didn’t do that, Roxas,” Lea said, reaching to try to get the letters from Roxas so he could check to see how bad it would be. He didn’t want to upset Isa after the amount of swooping in to save Lea he’d done in the past day. He just wanted Isa to have an okay day now that they were past… whatever Lea had been going through.

But that really wasn’t up to him, he was slowly realizing. Footsteps grew closer and Isa’s voice joined the air, “What didn’t Saïx do?”

Roxas looked up in horror when he realized that Isa was back already. The teen quickly squirmed around to hide the stack of letters he held. “Isa… I had something I wanted to give you,” Roxas said, the guilt that was written across his face would be plain to even the most casual acquaintance to the teenager.

“What… is it, Roxas?” Isa crossed his arms, concerned by the chain of events he’d walked in on.

Roxas looked around, not ready to risk getting yelled at. He had no idea what responses Isa had to being disappointed and… probably pissed off. “Where’s Naminé?”

“She asked to stay behind for a few minutes, she’ll be right back. Now, what was it you were saying you wanted to give to me?” Isa’s gaze never left Roxas, his patience wearing thin quickly.

Lea, sighing as he watched Roxas again look around the room for a distraction. Luckily, even when he was disappointed, Lea was still willing to help out a friend. “Where did you take her, by the way?”

“Home. My old one. Remember how I’d found some of my old clothes? I wanted her to have something clean, so I gave her my old jacket. She’s looking through some of the papers I had found.”

Roxas took the mention of Naminé looking through old papers to pull the letters out and hold them out to Isa. “I’ve been finding these scattered around the worlds and I think I recognize your handwriting.”

Isa stared at the papers in Roxas’s hands for a moment, processing what was happening slowly. Normally quick to figure out what was going on, Isa seemed to be experiencing some kind of system crash. He snatched the letters away as soon as he fully processed everything. “You read them.”

The tone was not an angry one, but a deeply embarrassed one. Roxas realized Lea was probably right, even if it would’ve meant Isa never got the letters back. Maybe reading things he knew were personal was… rude? Roxas locked eyes with Lea for a moment and Lea’s gaze seemed to read and respond to the teen’s distressed thoughts.

“Sorry, I just… wanted to know what the papers I was finding were. The first one was so short and I didn’t know.” Roxas was genuinely sorry. He felt worse with this reaction than he would’ve if Isa just got mad at him.

“They have his name in it, you could’ve figured it out,” Isa muttered, unfolding the letter on the top of the stack. He took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to not seem like he was as incredibly embarrassed as he was. “His name that writes the same.”

Lea realized as soon as Isa finished speaking what the letters were about. “Isa, are those… about me?”

“They’re more of a diary, but I suppose you could say they’re about you. I wrote the first one because mom told me to.” Isa’s voice got quiet when he mentioned his mother, things too often hurt all at once.

Xion looked embarrassed as well, not wanting to watch when she too had read the letters before she realized what they were. The teens, Naminé included, all knew what Isa now held in his hands were love letters to Lea written over the course of far too many years.

“I might as well give them to you. I’d planned on it initially, I suppose,” Isa said, embarrassment still obvious. Lea had never seen Isa so flustered, not like this. As Isa stood there, holding the letter like he was afraid it would shatter and looking at it like he was afraid it would begin to speak, he traced the top line of the open letter with his finger. “They’ve always been to you, even if not for you.”

Lea watched the world slow down as he was handed the cause of Isa’s embarrassment. Roxas and the girls had read the letters, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do the same. He wanted to read them but… Then he saw the first line that was written in crayon. “Isa, are you really okay with me reading… letters you never gave me?”

“Hm. Perhaps after the nosy ones leave. So you don’t embarrass yourself,” Isa said, composing himself as well as he could while he wasn’t looking at the letter.

Xion was immediate in her response, hopping off the couch as soon as she was allowed to. “I’m going to find Balsam! Roxas, come with me.”

Roxas shifted how he was standing and looked at Isa. “Can we wait for Naminé to get back?”

Isa nodded. “Yes, of course. It’s been years, Lea can wait to read the letters for another f-”

Her timing perfect, Naminé opened the front door and walked over to join the rest of the group, holding a few papers in her own hands. She looked from face to face and her eyebrows furrowed together in worry, her shoulders were more tense than they’d ever been based on her mouth disappearing into the old, blue jacket. “Did something happen?”

“It’s just about the letters,” Roxas said, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking off to the side. “Y’know, the ones you told me I shouldn’t have been reading?”

Naminé relaxed again, placing her hand on Isa’s arm, smiling up at him. “I saw some of what one of the letters said, it was very sweet. I think it’d be good to show Lea your heart.”

Isa raised his hand, gently placing it on Naminé’s head with a sigh and a smile. “Yes, you’re right.”

The teenagers quickly left, Naminé took Roxas’s hand and followed behind Xion on the hunt for the husky.

Once the footsteps faded away into the house and up the stairs, Isa sighed. “If you don’t want to read them, I can take them back and put them where they belong.”

Lea quickly moved the letters away from Isa, reacting faster than he could think. Okay, maybe he did really want to read whatever Isa had written about him when they were younger. “I… want to read the blue crayon part. At least the blue crayon part.”

“Read as many of them as you’d like.” Isa sighed, took a few moments to dwell on the new air, then smiled. “They start around the time you broke your arm because you liked me too much. Think about that.”

“I tripped on my own feet because I ran down the stairs the kids just ran up.” Lea couldn’t help but laugh, free hand going to the back of Isa’s neck to pull him into a kiss. “Are they love letters?”

“They didn't start as purposeful love letters, no.”

“But what did they become?”

“A teenager’s pining for the sun.”