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from my degen folder :3 enjoy, u chaos goblins

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Stay-at-home mom has NEVER been seen as degrading by other women because they decided to start a family. You see, both scenarios are women who are completely dependent on men, and the "trad wife" life style is merely an aspirational facade. Women always have been on the working fields among men, and on top of that they also have been taking care of the future generation. In ancient times (before our current late-capitalism era) children were taken care of by aunts, grandads, and multiple people, because no parent should be raising their children alone. But now, one sole income is not enough, and moms were always exploited, they can never rest, have time for herselves, or hobbies. They give up everything behind. Being a mother is not "the easier life" when mothers are literally the backbone of our society, and neither is being a sex worker. Both are seen as degrading for different reasons. Our parents and grandparents were able to afford a house by their 30's and yall are blaming it on feminism

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History Was Written by the Victorians

or: How Our Image of the Middle Ages Is (Mostly) Bullshit

Close your eyes and imagine a medieval executioner. Without effort, I can tell you imagined someone more or less like this:

Man in a red or black face-covering hood. Most probably fat and shirtless, or wearing some kind of black tunic or apron. Wielding a big-ass axe. Tell ya what, it's bullshit.

This post was supposed to explain how that image came from one Jan Mydlář, a Czech executioner from 17th century, but that claim, stated by one Czech website and repeated on Wikipedia with no actual verification, is also bullshit. And rather obvious one, because Mydlář is famous for executing 27 Czech nobles in the aftermath of the Battle of Bila Hora in 1621 - an event presented in several illustrations, and in none of the contemporary ones the headsman is wearing anything resembling a hood. Better yet, most supposed facts about Mydlář's life come from four novels written by Czech novelist Josef Svátek and published between 1886 and 1889 - even the Czech Wikipedia notes the difficulty in telling fact and fiction apart in them, which kinda proves my point.

I recently mocked the modern historiography as tainted by fanciful 19th century interpretations and outright fabrications, saying that the history was written by the Victorians, and the entire imagery of a hooded executioner is such a fabrication. Along with the supposed torture implement called the Iron Maiden, by the way. So how did the actual executioners dress over the ages? I do recall a post by someone on Tumblr with "history" and "POC" in the username that I can't find right now, and there's also a thread on Quora that answers "Why did medieval executioners wear hoods?" with a long explanation that begins with a paraphrase of "LOL no, they didn't", but let's have a go at it one more time. Particularly that there will be pictures. Yay.

Let's start with this 14th century miniature from Les Chroniques de Froissart, that I picked on purpose: in this one the executioner is wearing a hat that isn't red (by some odd coincidence, three other illustrations from the same book depict executioners as wearing red or brown hats, but still, no hoods in sight). No rule about clothing either - also on purpose, I didn't pick the image where the executioner is wearing a black shirt and grey hose either. Iconography from other sources also has executioners wear all kinds of rainbow pimp gear including slitted shirts and pants not unlike the Landsknechts (and I do remember that the Tumblr post I can't find now also contained several of those images).

This one comes from 19th century, sure, but is supposed to depict the clothing of the Cologne judiciary of 16th century. Now, pick the executioner out of the lineup.

Nope. Not the guy on the right, that one is just a herald. The executioner is the guy in brown coat and red pants. Which also lines up with the contemporary depictions.

Next up, we have a name: Franz Schmidt, the executioner of Nuremberg who worked in the late 16th and early 17th century, shown here beheading a woman for "harlotry and lewdness". In both this illustration and the better-known sketch that shows up if you google "Franz Schmidt executioner", he's wearing fairly spiffy clothing like this blue and gold number or all frills everything in the sketch, and someone quotes books by historians Anna Sunden and Ulinka Rublack that an executioner was allowed to take his victims' clothes unless expressly forbidden (for example, the city council of Augsburg forbade the executioner from taking the clothes of an infamously flamboyant guildmaster he executed).

Even closer to the Victorian age, the executioners still had no intention of wearing hoods, like this illustration that I already made fun of. According to @bizarrepotpourri's research, this is the official executioner of Wrocław, one master Thienel, performing his first job in 1800, which gives me even more ridiculous ideas for a caption, again stemming from the guy on the left tipping his hat. But still - no mask, no hood, not even a hat or a coat.

Similarly, this illustration that @petermorwood brought to my attention depicts the 1820 beheading of Karl Ludwig Sand, a student who assassinated writer and diplomat August von Kotzebue. No hood at all, again.

If anything, the only hint is this display of the gear of Giovanni Battista Bugatti, the Executioner of the Papal States - we have a white hooded robe that would not be out of place in the American South and a red one along with an axe. Curiously, contemporary depictions of Bugatti show him in ordinary work clothes and I wouldn't be surprised if the white robe was intended for some kind of processions or didn't belong to Bugatti at all - it turns out that the confraternity of penitents of the Santa Lucia di Gonfalone in Rome who were tasked with burying the dead back in the day do wear white hooded robes like this, and where an executioner works, there are always enough bodies to bury.

This piece by our national artist Jan Matejko, famous for his portraits of the kings of Poland and the absolutely fuckhuge epic painting of the battle of Grunwald, looks like video game concept art, and of The Settlers slash city builder kind. From left to right, we have two builders, a butcher peeking out from behind an executioner, a senior city guard, two city guards carrying polearms and two trumpeters of which one is wearing armor for some unspecified reason. Okay, so the executioner is wearing a gugel and a cloak, all red everything, but much like the more faithful illustration of the officials of Cologne above, still no mask.

And then, we have this drawing from the June 25th, 1864 issue of the British magazine Once a Week, depicting the execution of King Charles I. Forty years from the last example and what the fuck is this? The guy is wearing an unbelted tunic and some weird-ass handkerchief with holes for eyes that just floats in front of his face. What.

And that's not even the weirdest take of the era. Look at this 1840 colored engraving by caricaturist George Cruikshank, depicting the execution of Lady Jane Grey. WHAT IN THE FUCK. The headsman looks like Dr Neo Cortex in a gas mask and even if we blame it on a bad photocopy, the lighter black-and-white version you can also find online is even worse, because with more details revealed, he's apparently wearing blackface.

"Artistic invention" continues in those two images from cigarette cards - on the left we have a 1887 card from the US, and on the right a 1925 British one based on the costume from Gilbert & Sullivan's Yeomen of the Guard, which kinda absolves the artist as stage costumes tend to be ridiculous like this. On one side, we have a domino mask, on the other a stiff black mask of some kind, both still remaining in separation from reality because it wasn't working out.

You might find similar masks to the one on the right on the internet, either displayed in museums or being sold as former museum exhibits, but curiously they never show up in contemporary art, and neither do some of the more curious torture implements. It's like the Victorian historians and artists misinterpreted old stuff they found, had no clue what it even was (much like the Roman glove knitting helpers) or pretended to have no clue because stating the actual purpose outright was considered indecent (imagine all the well-worn dildos throughout history). This head-up-the-ass tendency continues to this day, as Peter Morwood's post points out in an example of an executioner's sword being described on an American museum's website with several incorrect assumptions, the worst being a claim that it must have been ceremonial because it's pretty - engravings, gilded hilt and pommel, the works. Well, shit. There are tens of extant executioner's swords photographed and most of them are engraved with fairly typical phrases and execution-related iconography, a lot also have gilded or silvered hilts and/or pommels, and museum curators don't usually discount that as "proof" that the swords in question weren't used.

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(How to) Study the Blade

I love all the medieval weaponry jokes and shitposts on here, and in case folks are interested in trying out historical European martial arts (HEMA) but aren't sure where to start, you're in luck! There are a lot more opportunities to learn swordfighting than you might think (or related weapons like spear, polearm, axe, and dagger, but swords are definitely the main) (sword pun intended).

First: How does one buy a sword and essential gear? Unless you're at a tournament, the answer is usually online. There are a lot of vendors, and in terms of price point, safety (blades need some flex to not hurt the other person), and being up to tournament standards (so if you ever want to enter one, your sword has you covered), my go-to is Purpleheart Armory: https://www.woodenswords.com/

In general, you can get a longsword or rapier for somewhere between $200 and $300. There are a ton of decisions to make, like what length works for your height? What weight? Ring guard, complex guard? Schilt or no? Do you want to venture into dussack, messer, saber, buckler, parrying dagger, greatsword? There's a vast number of opinions, and asking around (see info on joining a group below!) or checking out people's thoughts on Reddit can be incredibly helpful. It is possible to get sharp blades, but you have to be so. goddamn. careful, and don't even think about using it near anyone else. I'll just recommend the usual steel that you can get, where it's historically accurate and properly weighted and wants to move, but the "edge" is more like the handle of a butter knife than anything else.

When choosing what to get started with, feel free to go with whatever seems coolest or most fun to you, or what you can find guidance for. Longsword and rapier are what you'll run into most often (especially if you misgauge your distance HEYO). While people may assume that it's heavy and slow, only for big and buff people, a longsword is just ~3.5 lbs, which is lighter than a lot of my favorite doorstopper fantasy books (and they're just so f'in cool). And once you're familiar with one weapon, it's amazing how much translates over to others, and even between one-handed and two-handed ones.

If you want to just do solo cuts and drills, a sword is all you need! But as soon as you want to study techniques and historical fencing, the next things you want are head protection and hand protection. These are incredibly important, and depending on your partners/group and how careful they are and how hard they hit, more or less intense gear may be needed. And then a fencing jacket and leg protection get you all the way there. Some jackets are more intense but hotter and limit mobility more, and others are more comfortable but less protective- historical fencing is full of these kinds of tradeoffs and decisions. Note that no amount of gear, no matter how expensive and well-made, can leave you fully protected. You need to be able to trust your partner to keep you safe and keep them safe in turn. And even then, accidents can happen, so it's important to have a plan and a just-in-case first aid kit on hand.

Second: What materials can you learn from? There are historical treatises and manuals out there (Liechtenauer, Meyer, Fiore...), modern books that cover the same bases with visuals added in, and a number of people have put their own guides and lessons online. Especially helpful for more intuitive visual learning, there's a lot on YouTube. For getting a feel for longsword cuts and solo drills, I love Björn Rüther's channel:

Third, while it's possible to have a great time and develop some skills solo: There's nothing like learning from other people. Joining a club or at least stopping by and trying it out is a game changer. This site catalogs every documented HEMA group: https://www.hemaalliance.com/club-finders

Look at this! It's crazy, right?? There are so many clubs! Note that some are full-on businesses with a full-time rented space and professional coaches, lots of classes every week, and dues to cover those expenses. Others may be just people who regularly gather to learn from and teach each other and spar, which keeps costs low but may limit how often or where you can practice. For a number of groups, you can drop in to try it out without needing to invest money in equipment first.

But very importantly: Groups vary a ton. Many are full of the kindest people you've ever met who will be so excited to show you the ropes. But some may have a gross atmosphere of toxic masculinity, some may encourage hitting hard to "teach people a lesson" about failure, and some may be really into glorifying European culture in a way that gets white supremacy-y. So when you're seeing what groups are around you and checking them out, pay attention: Is this a group where women feel comfortable? Queer folks? People of color? People of varying ages and mobility? And: Is there a member conduct policy or agreement? Is there a protocol for what to do if someone makes others feel unsafe or hurts them? Being ready to answer the hard questions to protect everyone's safety and following through are a green flag for a group.

And lastly: You don't have to be crazy fit to get started! Whatever may feel like a barrier to entry, something you think you have to be able to do first- "No, I need to be able to run five miles and do 50 push-ups before I could ever start something like that" - NOPE! It's important to listen to your body, not push to the point of pain, and rest and stretch as needed, but you can always start. And there's nothing like doing something incredibly fun and that requires a lot of focus to make exercise joyful as hell.

NOW GO FORTH AND STAB

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A Dagged hood commission

My Shop

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Late 60s early 70s medieval revival Part 2

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Fun with looking like a high school art teacher 🎨 Duster from Nicolette Carlone, dress Holy Clothing, earrings While Odin Sleeps, heart pendant by me.

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the old cistern beneath the flood control system

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He did it again :D

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Shoes by Philips Shoes

c. 1925-1935

The National Museum of Norway

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This frame is kind of gorgeous from all angles though.

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Anna Sui RTW Spring ‘15

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Moon Angel by Rinotuna

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Synthetic biology

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some more sealberries

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silliest seal @uiiyru 🦭❤️