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Ranting

I just want to talk about how fucking deep I am in with HeeSun? Like we hardly get any interactions, some of them even felt forced as if it was a requirement for fans not to overthink and assume anything is going on with their relationship. Mind you they failed in doing these so called “forced” interactions, because fans are smarter than they assumed and immediately noticed how their relationship these days feels so awkward. THANK GOD FOR THE MANIFESTO TOUR THO, LIKE BRO WE GOT THE SELCA AND SO MANY FUCKING INTERACTIONS ON HEESEUNG’S BIRTHDAY. THAT DAY IS SOMETHING HISTORIANS WOULD FUCKING TALK ABOUT. Anyways what I’m pointing out is how incredibly invested I am with these two? Despite the minimal fucking interactions we get on a daily basis, hell we can even go weeks of not having any sort of interactions between them, I still can’t help but be smitten with them? Like I am going back to my delulu Jikook days, a phase that I am not very proud of. IDK IF I SHOULD LIKE WELCOME IT FULLY AND EMBRACE THE KILIG IM FEELING WHENEVER THEY INTERACT? 

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Dito ako magkakalat kasi nakakapressure ngayon mag twitter :c 

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I don't know if you're still looking but a price above rubies on Wattpad is a great hileon fic

OMG THANK U <3

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P.S. I came back to tumblr because of them </3 

I’ve been suffering for two weeks

Okay, I was introduced to Vatanim Sensin thru tiktok, a vid about Hileon went viral, and I became super interested with the couple because they were both very attractive, but what really snatched my eyes was Boran (My god he’s a very attractive man AND THE FACT THAT HE HAD A STACHE AND I WAS STILL SO ATTRACTED TO HIM??!!) Anyways, the reason why I’m suffering is not because of the long ass episodes (mind you its 2hr per ep AND THERES 59 EPS, i cry), rather its because of the lack of fanfics of Hileon :c, I’ve been trying to find any crumbs of fanfics that writers have made since the release of the drama in 2016. I know that I’m so effing late to the fandom, its been 4 years since the finale of Vatanim. I am so mad at myself for not finding about this drama sooner :c. To continue, if the fandom is still breathing and alive do you guys have any fanfics recommendations? I am desperate…

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I would 100% write my own if only I was a great writer. 

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I’ve been suffering for two weeks

Okay, I was introduced to Vatanim Sensin thru tiktok, a vid about Hileon went viral, and I became super interested with the couple because they were both very attractive, but what really snatched my eyes was Boran (My god he’s a very attractive man AND THE FACT THAT HE HAD A STACHE AND I WAS STILL SO ATTRACTED TO HIM??!!) Anyways, the reason why I’m suffering is not because of the long ass episodes (mind you its 2hr per ep AND THERES 59 EPS, i cry), rather its because of the lack of fanfics of Hileon :c, I’ve been trying to find any crumbs of fanfics that writers have made since the release of the drama in 2016. I know that I’m so effing late to the fandom, its been 4 years since the finale of Vatanim. I am so mad at myself for not finding about this drama sooner :c. To continue, if the fandom is still breathing and alive do you guys have any fanfics recommendations? I am desperate...

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Coffee

Do you think Hilal would put salt in Leon’s coffee during the engagements? If we ever get scene where Leon and Veronika come over to ask for Hilal’s hand I want to see a shocked Leon when he takes sip of coffee. “Lieutenant, is everything ok?” “Yeah, yeah, just fine.” And then have married Leon asking Hilal to make him a cup but this time no salt.

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Under the moonlight

A/N: After-fight kiss story. Enjoy!

“What are you doing? Let go off me Lieutenant!” She had just reached her house, returning from her nightshift at the hospital, the darkness of the night still covering everything. What she didn’t expect was to find him waiting at her steps. She had been so successful at avoiding him so far what with him staying at the mansion to recuperate and her changing her patterns. But it seemed that the escaping was over. She wished she could turn around and leave, not sure she could handle talking to him without breaking down but he had noticed her, standing up and dusting off his coat. He was looking upset, his features hard, his hands twitching on his side, moving from one leg to the other waiting impatiently for her. She tried walking past him but of course he blocked her path. “Lieutenant I want to get inside, I’m very tired” she told him evenly not looking up at him. But to no avail. Not only he didn’t allow her to pass but he grabbed her hand and after mumbling something about needing to talk, he started dragging her down the street. And so here they were, still walking through the streets of Izmir, him ahead of her and her trying to keep up with him, her hand still in his.

“Lieutenant are you listening to me? I want to leave!” she demanded again but he kept ignoring her. “You didn’t leave me any other choice Hilal. We need to talk and we couldn’t do that in front of your house.” he said heatedly. “I don’t want to talk with you!” she answered back struggling to free her hand. A humorless laugh left his lips “I’m aware of that küçük hanım. You all but disappeared these past few weeks. I’m no fool. I just don’t understand what happened. It’s not my style to drag women around in the middle of the night, believe me, but you and I need to have this conversation and clearly this will be my only chance. If I let you go now only God knows when I’ll be able to catch you again.”

After a few more turns he pushed her into a back alley. It was too dark, the pale silver glow of the moon just enough to make each other’s features out, the silence around them overwhelming. Hilal tried to put as much space as possible between them while looking at him expectantly. “So…you wanted to talk. Talk then, what are you waiting for?” she asked him in mock nonchalance. He breathed out in exasperation, clearly trying to control his temper. “Hilal! We are here for you to talk. I have nothing to say cause I don’t know why you are avoiding me. At the hospital I was left with the impression that we were on the same page but then you never came back. Is this about the incident in the post office? Do you…” she cut him off, not wanting to rehash that subject. “It’s not about that.” she said in a timid whisper. “Then what?” his voice picking volume, echoing a little in the narrow alley. “I don’t owe you an explanation Lieutenant! All I wish is for you to stay away from me. Can you respect that and finally let me go?” she offered in an unwavering tone, hoping he would take her seriously but her hopes died fast. He was shaking his head vehemently, “No and no! You do owe me an explanation küçük hanım. However much you want to deny it you feel something for me too. I saw it in the hospital when you held my hand, I saw it when your hand was trembling while you shoot me, I saw it when we danced, I felt it when you kissed me back. So don’t try to run away from this again Hilal. Please! For once be brave and admit it!” he was yelling now, demanding and challenging her, his brown eyes shining in the dark. But he wasn’t the only one overwhelmed with emotions anymore. Cause Hilal couldn’t focus on his challenge, her ears ringing with anger since he said that ‘too’, 'you feel something for me too’. How dare he? And he wanted to hear a confession from her too. He would be waiting for long. Without much thought she walked up to him and slapped him hard. Leon took a step back, holding his cheek, his anger giving its place to shock and bewilderment. She didn’t leave him a chance to talk. “Don’t you have any shame left in you? You are going to marry my sister and you are here demanding from me to what exactly? Confess my undying love to you? Can you stoop lower? If my sister didn’t love you I could kill you right now and for good this time. How dare you talk about dances and kisses when at the same time you are planning a wedding? Who are you really?” she was the one yelling now, her self-control lost, her cheeks feeling like burning.

He had turned to the wall putting his hands on it fot support, his head bent down looking at the ground, talking deep even breaths like he was counting in his head. “You think I’m marrying Yıldız?” he said after a while, his tone scarily quiet, still not looking at her. “I don’t think it, I know it. My sister told me. What? Are you going to deny it? Are you a liar too?” she remarked caustically, laughing mercilessly. He didn’t move, just turned to her, his eyes holding an expression of utter devastation and disappointment and something inside her cracked. How could he always do that to her? Wasn’t that the reason she was avoiding him after all? She wouldn’t give in, she couldn’t! She put a great effort to appear unaffected and shook her head in an interrogative manner. “What?” If it was possible his face got even more somber. “Do you really believe it Hilal? In your heart, do you really believe I am such a horrible person? If you do then you are right there’s no reason for this conversation or for us to see each other again. I don’t want to bother you with my presence.” Hilal hesitated not knowing how to answer that. On one hand the urge to scream that she believed it was too strong, the pain that had taken over her body since that fated night het sister told her the news still fresh and palpable. He had played with her and her feelings. He still was. But if she did say that she would reveal too much to him and she didn’t want him to find out the extent of her suffering. He couldn’t know he had hurt her. She wouldn’t give him this pleasure. Nonetheless saying she didn’t believe it would give him permission to continue this game and she would look like an idiot. “It doesn’t matter what I believe. My opinion about you is irrelevant. You are getting married to my sister. It’s not appropriate for us to be seen together anyway.” she answered after a short while trying to deflect the question. His hand started tapping on the wall, getting more aggressive with every tap until he gave a punch to the wall, his cry of agony mixing with her own, freezing her in place. “God damnit Hilal! Just answer me! You really think I am such a devious person? I play around with you and then I go propose marriage to Yıldız? Everything…all the things I had done for you, the moments we have shared have no meaning for you? Answer me!” She had never seen him like this and it shook her to her core. He was yelling, pulling his hair with his hands in his desperation to make her respond to his question, his eyes wider than ever. “Lieutenant calm down, you are scaring me!” she yelled back and in seconds she saw him stepping back, away from her peering at her in disbelief. No, no like that she wanted to scream but she couldn’t. She wasn’t scared for herself, despite everything she had told him she knew in her heart he would never hurt her like that. She was scared for him, he was losing himself. But he had misunderstood her. “You..you think I will hurt you?” he said in a whisper his voice shaking, his head going right and left in denial. “How did we get to this point Hilal?” he asked but he seemed not to be expecting an answer. He turned his back to her, his whole body shaking, ready to leave.

“Leon wait!” she said without thinking, her mouth faster than her hand that was trying to shut it. He turned around slowly, expectantly. What was she supposed to do now? “I..I didn’t mean it like that. I know you wouldn’t do that to me. I..just wanted you to calm down. I didn’t think how it would sound to you.” she offered guiltily. He nodded in understanding but didn’t say anything else. For a few minutes they just stared at each other, the moonlight and the deafening silence of the night the only witnesses of this moment. “Do you love her?” she asked then with a courage she didn’t know she possessed. She wasn’t sure she was ready to hear his answer. He looked disappointed, sighing deeply. “How can you even ask me that? Why don’t you understand? Why?” he wondered, his voice rising a little in the end. He was confusing her and it was frustrating. “What do you want me to understand Leon? All I know is that my sister wakes up every day talking about how beautiful she will look at your wedding, about the day she will come live with you. You..you are marrying her. I’m not allowed to understand anything else.” she yelled, her anger bringing tears in her eyes. “God Hilal I listen to you all this time, hoping, waiting that just for once you will question, doubt, damnit just ask me about this stupid wedding. But you don’t. You are so certain such a thing will happen just because your sister said so.” he screamed back enraged. “Are you even listening to yourself? Do you expect me to doubt my sister?” she hit back, grateful the streets were still empty. He scoffed bitterly. “Of course not küçük hanım. Because what’s there to doubt, right?” he asked sarcastically before continuing “It must have sounded very logical to you. Obviously it was easier for you to believe that I was that cheap of a person than questioning your sister’s statement. I gave you no reason for it, right?” “But isn’t it logical? She’s a beautiful woman, she suits you, she suits your world, you two were close. It’s a logical decision to want a future with her.” she wondered puzzled. He gave her an incredulous look coming closer, just a couple of steps away from her, breathing heavily. “I’m not marrying your sister Hilal! I don’t know how she got that idea but it’s not true!” he yelled in her face, his eyes spitting fire. What? She had had enough of his games. “Stop it. Stop playing with me!” she screamed closing the space between them “What did I do to you? Why do you wish to cause me this pain? Just say the truth for once” she demanded, beating his chest with her hands in rage. With a fast move he circled her wrists to stop her futile assault, holding her hands captive on his chest. She struggled to free them but it was in vain. He was too close now, his earthly scent reaching her nostrils,overwhelming her. “What else should I do for you to understand that I love you. YOU!” he said, his voice strong, unwavering. No it wasn’t true. She shook her head in denial, not looking at him. “Stop, please stop” she whispered but he ignored her pleas. “Why don’t you trust me? I could die for you and you still wouldn’t believe me.” he remarked despondently. “If you could for a minute come in my position you would understand Leon” she answered her tone bitter. “So the problem is your sister? I’ll talk to her. I was planning to do it anyway after these ridiculous claims. I don’t want her to live in false hope. That marriage will never happen.” he offered. “She loves you..” she said so quietly he struggled to hear her. “And what if she loves me Hilal? Am I obliged to marry a woman I don’t love just because she has feelings for me? And you..? You would accept that? It wouldn’t bother you at all?” he questioned, his rage returning full force triggering her own. “Stop yelling at me. What do you want me to do Leon? I can’t be as selfish as you are right now!” she tried to free her hands but he wasn’t letting go. “Be selfish Hilal. Just this one time, here, now be selfish. You don’t have to sucrifice everything for the others. Do it for you, just for you. Say it. Scream it. Let it out Hilal! Would it bother you if I married your sister?” he was challenging her, she knew it but his words had touched her weakness, tears spilling down her face from the effort to resist and her anger that he had brought her to this point of no return. “Yes God damn you, yes! It wouldn’t just bother me, it would kill me. Seeing you with her, thinking of you married, having kids..” she shook her head to get rid of those thoughts “Death would be better than such a life. I should have killed you when I had the chance. I wouldn’t be in this position now.” she gazed up at him, straight into his eyes meaning every word, her breaths coming short. He wasn’t much different, so close to her that the hot breaths that were leaving his full lips were caressing her face, intoxicating her, his self-satisfied look the last drop before all her walls were down and her lips crushed into his. But like he knew what he was doing he received her kiss readily, kissing her back with as much fervor, taking and giving back everything. It wasn’t innocent but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. He released her hands, his going straight to her face holding her close, her placing one over his heart, the other diving into his hair. And they kissed, drinking in each other till they both were out of breath. She rested her head on his forehead, her eyes closed, their breaths mingling. She shyly opened one eye to get a peek of him. His face was serene, a small smile adorning his face, all the shadows that were there before had disappeared. She could look at him like this forever. “Will you keep staring?” he whispered, startling her, a laugh escaping him as he opened his eyes and looked at her making her avert her eyes in embarrassment. “Don’t hide those eyes from me” he pleaded caressing her cheek and she hesitantly peered at him. “You are the only one occupying my mind, my heart, my soul. Never doubt that. I wake up every morning only wishing to see you. Even for a second, even from afar. I wish for one second to be lost in the sea of your eyes. Your sister might be beautiful but to me you are breathtaking, incredible, brilliant, fiery, courageous, exhilarating, passionate..” he kept giving her compliments, and with each one he was leaving a kiss on her face, then on her hands, then back on her lips, sweet and slow, savoring her. When they seperated again his eyes were shining with tears and something she could only describe as adoration. “I love you küçük hanım” “I love you too Lieutenant. I’m sure you are very pleased with yourself.” she told him with humor. “I am, very very much.�� he answered back wiggling his eyebrows and making her blush. “You have no shame. Come on, let’s go to the hospital to take care of that hand. Look at this! Why did you have to punch the wall?” she berated him. “Since you’re worrying about some scratches, should I believe you don’t want me dead anymore?” he wondered busking in the feeling of her taking care of him. She turned to him seriously, all humor gone “Never, Leon! If you die I can’t live.” He brought the hand he was holding to his lips, leaving a small kiss. “Me too” he said simply and they kept walking as the first rays of the sun made their shy appearance.

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S01E04

those two…!

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VS Cartel AU Fic

This is my cross-over fiction of vatanim sensin and the narcos history/tv show. Finally, after two months of plotting here’s the first part of the story. I hope you guys enjoy this!

A big thank you to @burningdesireforchocolate for helping me first come up with the idea and helping me plot it out, a big thank you to @b-y-1004 for helping me through the story and editing, and a thank you to faragora on twitter for being my third beta on this story. I needed a lot of help and motivation on this story but you three made it easier and made it so much fun.

Note: I don’t own any of the VS characters or narcos characters. These are characters based loosely on history so I any similarities are due to that.

All right if you’ve read this far, here’s a bit of background. Leon and Ali Kemal grew up in the states after their mother and Azize left Vasili and Cevdet. Years later the brothers learn that Vasili and Cevdet head the CevVas cartel and so they take it upon themselves to take their father down. Hilal comes along because she’s not leaving her husband alone on his mission. They enter a world that’s complicated by the fact that many fear Vasili and few are brave enough to stand up to him. This will be a journey that will test their wills and their hearts. 

Enjoy!

This story will be under the tag vs cartel au, and you can find tidbits and previews for the story there. 

Keep reading

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The Heavens - Art from Makoto Shinkai’s 5 Centimeters Per Second (2007)

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I. Live. For. That. Strand. Of. Hair.

Sigh.

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au where Leon somehow and without Hilal’s knowing finds out that she is Halit Ikbal and writes to her as Andreas Zackis. First they discuss about war, then about peace and in the end about love…

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Leon’s unsend letter

My darling, my love, you who I have experienced the meaning of life with. Today I’m writing this letter that speaks my senses, my feelings that are buried in my heart, feelings that I can not say to anyone, because my little lady our only crime is that we fell in love at a wrong Time…

I’m on that ship with a heavy heart,with the blue and white flag of my country fluttering through the wind. My mind wonders…to the events earlier this year. we were coming to invade your country…but I didn’t imagine nor did I expect that I would fall in love with the “Crescent.” The first time we, met you were a tiny girl who had no fear to the uniform that I was wearing, but when me met the second time , you yelled at me and you called me a murderer with no hesitation nor fear even though the leader of the Greek  army is sitting at the same table…I was fascinated … curious…and I felt something I thought I had forgotten about it, and it’s conscience… I got even more fascinated when you, a Turkish patriot tried to help a greek person…A person that you don’t even know,when I had to kill my childhood friend just to please my father the Greek leader…I felt shame and helpless. So I challenged you and I asked “if you can’t love a person, how would you know how to love a country?” Do you remember my little lady when I threw you to prison by my own hands? I do…I remember every little detail,  because it was then, when I stopped struggling with my feelings for you… It was then when I tried everything in my power to keep the last Smyrna alive… Who knew? being in love would make you feel like a little boy again…who knew that I would be this happy just because i spoke couple of words with you? But my little lady you made me wake up from that dream when you told me that would shoot me with no hesitation…You don’t know how much that burned my soul. I’m now certain that you have feelings for me , but your mind still controls your heart…you keep rejecting me…you keep breaking me with your words…However I know you don’t mean it.. I know you have feelings for me…but you won’t admit it because you fell for your invader…The one who killed your people. “If we want we can stop this war.” I say this hoping you would agree with me…and instead of breaking me again with your words…you reply with “I wish…but we’re not strong enough..” You were wrong my little lady…I betrayed my country…I betrayed my country and my principles that I used to believe in for you…so that you could still breath…

I was tired my love… i was tired of this war, i was tired of everything and everyone…I couldn’t breath…so I decided to leave.. But then you came…running…preventing me from taking my own life… You were ready to die with me…you would do it…because I know you , you are selfless and you would do anything for your loved ones. And now it was your turn to face others, it was your turn to yell at them to protect me. You supported me…you loved me and you trusted me…yet i broke your trust…i was tested with your life again…I had to betray you for your sake…I don’t regret it…I would do it again if that what it takes to keep you alive… I’m now back wearing my uniform, do you know why I wore it again? Because I’m scared…I’m scared that I would lose you… My father ,the great greek leader who didn’t love me as a son is now forever remembered as a betrayer… And now with a brother who I thought was dead and a mother who was too happy about my brother being alive to grieve about my dead father…I felt alone…

I’m going back to my country my love… Here I’m, standing on the port waiting for you… but you didn’t come… I want you to know one thing, no matter how long we are separated…even if it took years, if it’s meant to be, we will meet again. Farewell my little lady…

-Leonidas 

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To all my black followers and friends, stay safe.

Also, I would like to add that black lives have always mattered, will always matter.

It’s awful that we even have to say that because it should be a given. However, we need to say it loud and clear for the racists.

We cannot be silent. 

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This looks so beautiful 🥺

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reblog if you ship this couples

- alec x magnus (shadowhunters)

- arthit x kong (sotus)

- singto x krist

- tay x new

- pete x kao (kiss me again)

- ming x kit (2moons)

- isak x even (skam)

- ian x mickey (shameless)

- philip x lukas (eyewitness)

- oliver x connor (how to get away with a murderer)

- jude x zero (hit the floor)

- ste x harry (hollyoaks)

- robert x aaron (emmerdale)

- lari x elias (salatut elamat)

- tristan x miles (degrassi next class)

- bruno x pol (merli)

- hernando x lito (sense 8)

- tee x mork (my tee)

- ae x pete (love by chance)

- tin x can (love by chance)

- techno x kengkla (love by chance)

- tum x tar (love by chance)

- off x gun

- pick x rome

- aristoteles x temo

- guide x tanai (my dream)

- elle x good (my dream)

- dream x runway (my dream)

- maxtul

- korn x knock (together with me)

- forth x beam (2moons)

- Lucas x Eliott (skam france)

- matteo x david (druk)

- tangyi x shao fei (history 3)

- zhao zi x jack (history 3)