somanyideassolittletime

[somanyideassolittletime]

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who forgets that you know him better than he knows himself. 

Standing in line inside your usual smoothie shop, looking at the menu, his hand resting on your waist, whispering to you, “Which one is your favorite?” 

You point at the berry option, “berry blast, but it’s too sour for you, you won’t like it.” 

He scoffs, “Yeah? Which one do you think I like then?” 

you ponder, scanning the practically memorized options available by now. “The chocolate banana one,” 

“That doesn’t look like something I’ll order,” he says, still stubbornly ordering the berry blast. Missing the eye roll you give him. 

You know him too well that he won’t like what he ordered, so when it’s your turn to order, you order the one that Jack will like, dismissing his side glance at you in front of the cashier. 

Both of you sat down, he took a sip, trying hard to control his face over the taste, but you know him inside out, it’s too damn sour for him. So you push your smoothie his way, “try this,” 

He looked at the smoothie way too long before caving in, finally taking a sip. “It’s good, alright.” pushing back the smoothie at you. 

You held back a laugh, looking at him still trying to pretend he enjoys his choice. But when he puts down the cup, you switch yours wordlessly, because frankly, you like every option the store has to offer, so anything’s fine with you. 

He looks at you, biting the inside of his cheek, trying to put an offended face, “I was enjoying that.” 

You roll your eyes, playing the bit, “wanna switch back?” 

He seems to contemplate before shaking his head softly, muttering “no.” You smirk at him, now enjoying your actual favorite drink. 

It takes him a few big sips, actually enjoying his drink, before he whispers softly, “Thank you.” 

“We’re way past that, hon,” 

“Still. I’m the man, I should be the one who makes sacrifices for you,” he explains, though he knows you both don’t actually care about those kinds of things. 

You laugh at him, “drama queen,” earning a laugh from him. 

“How you’re never wrong at this kind of stuff for me freaks me out,” he grumbles just enough for you to hear him. 

“Eh. I know you.” You shrugged, not even thinking about it too much. 

Which then leads to Jack asking you to pick his order every time you try out new places, because deep down, he know that you’ll never do him wrong, and he damn love you for that. 

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who doesn’t care about what people think of him because the only opinion he cares about is yours.

One time, Jack came to work smelling like a vanilla garden, earning a double check from Walsh, who walked past him. 

Jack sucked at long distance, a fact you both already established way too long ago, and now you’re away from him. 

He misses you like hell, he can’t sleep without your body warmth beside him, he can’t sleep without seeing you before bed, and seeing your perfume just sitting there taunts him. 

So instead of spraying your perfume into your side of the bed like most people do (though he also did that, but it wasn’t close enough for him), he chose to use your perfume the entire time you’re away. 

You teased him about it when you get back. You were about to do your laundry when you spotted Jack’s last worn clothes, picking them up to put them with the rest of your clothes inside the machine, when you smelled your perfume. 

You walk to him, his clothes in hand, “You like me that much, you wanna be me, abbot?” 

He groans, walking to you, hugging you tightly, putting his face in your neck, “I missed you like crazy, hon.”

You chuckled, kissing his shoulder nonetheless, “Most people sprayed it on the pillows, you know, not actually wear it.” 

He leans back, looking at you, you know that look, “no, don’t tell me,” you pull away from him, running to the bedroom to sniff at the pillows. 

He stands by the door, looking bashful. “Walsh told me I smell like a cake,” 

Instead of teasing him, you walk over to him, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, one he returns passionately. You pull away, putting your head in his chest, “ugh. You’re so sweet sometimes.” 

“Like your perfume?” 

“Even sweeter,” you say, giving him another kiss, not caring about the dirty laundry anymore. 

The next day, he went to work, back to wearing his slightly musky ozonic cologne, Robby smirked at him, “Take it the wife’s back?” Jack nods, smiling to himself, “yeah, fuckin’ finally,” 

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who always takes photos of things that remind him of you.

Strolling inside a toy slash trinkets store with Robby looking for a gift to give to Langdon’s son, debating what to get him with Robby, when he suddenly stops. Looking at the ugly plushie, he knows you will say cute instead. y/n will like this. 

He took out his phone, opening the camera app, quickly taking a snap of said plushie before sending it to you. 

| Jack: (image sent) 

| Jack: You want? 

He waited for your reply, smiling to himself when you did reply, almost immediately. 

| You: OH MY GOD SO UGLY I LOVE HIM 

| You: YES YES YES I WANT 

| You: thank youuuuu 

| Jack: No problem, wait for me, okay 

| You: yessir, thank you, love u 

“Yeah, I don’t think Langdon will approve that ugly thing, man.” Robby’s voice breaks him out of his daze, and Jack chuckles, “Yeah, for y/n. Said it’s so ugly it’s cute” 

When both men finally settled on something and finished paying, Jack proposed to take a walk for a bit before going home, and Robby, having nothing else to do, agreed. 

Robby kept it to himself, seeing Jack, who kept on stopping once in a while to take pictures with a small smile on his lips. He know Jack too well that he’s intending to show those pictures to you. 

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who hates his picture taken but loves taking pictures of you.

“What do you think?” he says, facing the phone screen away from him to show you the picture he just took of you, waiting for your approval. He knows it’s perfect, he’s even already made a mental note to change his lockscreen to this photo once he’s at home. But you’re picky about your pictures. 

He doesn’t even understand why you’re so picky over the smallest things. For him, every picture of you is perfect, but being the good husband that he is, he will always gladly retake it if it’s not up to your standards. 

“Oh my god, I think I trained you too hard, now you take pictures like a pro.” You take the phone from his hand, kissing his cheek before shoving him to your spot earlier. 

He looks at you stepping away, phone angling in your hand to take his pictures now. “Your turn,” 

He takes a step forward to protest, but the look you give him stops him, returning him to his earlier spot like a punished kid. 

You laugh behind the phone, making him smirk at you, perfect, you think, before snapping the photo. 

Truthfully? He doesn’t understand why you keep insisting on taking pictures of him; pictures of you are enough for him, he doesn’t need pictures of himself anyway. 

But the next time he sees your phone’s lock screen, and it's the picture you took of him, he can’t deny the swell of pride feeling his chest. 

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who’s too prideful to wear his glasses. 

You’re currently doing groceries with Jack, who purposefully forgets his glasses at home because he doesn’t want to wear them, saying he doesn’t need them. 

He’s trying hard to read the label at the back, eyes squinting slightly, trying to play it cool, but deep down he did regret not bringing his glasses because since when does the labels are so damn tiny??? 

You know that Jack will purposefully leave his glasses on the nightstand, you know that he’s too stubborn to admit that he actually needs them, that’s why you always do a one last sweep for his glasses every time both of you go out. 

Wordlessly, you stuck your hand inside your bag, looking for his glasses. Taking them out when your hand finally found them. Walking over to him, opening the glasses in your hand before perching them on his nose. 

He looks at you through his glasses, looking back at the now easy-to-read label. When he looks at you again, a small grateful smile on his lips, you could’ve sworn your breath hitched, he just looks so…you’re not even sure the word existed to explain how good Jack looked right now. 

“Thank you,” he says, kissing your hair. “Still feel weird with them on, hon.” 

You give him a peck on his lips, “hush. You look hot.” 

He smirks again, looking even more… again, the word didn’t exist just yet. “Yeah? Y'’ think so?” 

You nod at him, taking the box in his hand to toss into the cart before you initiate something close to a public indecency action. 

Thinking about Jack Abbot, who always kept notes about you. 

You found out one evening, currently watching a movie, that you suddenly ask him, “Jack. What’s your notes app look like?” 

“What do you mean?” he says, hands still wrapped on your shoulders. 

“They said that guys sometimes have weird notes,” you explain to him, feeling the rustle when his free hand tries to look for his phone. 

He hands his phone to you, still locked. “Go check it for yourself.” 

You look at him, shocked that he gives you access to his phone so easily, “Whoa, bad decision giving me your phone.” 

He scoffs, “You say that like you didn’t just ask me to look through your phone when you’re showering this morning.” 

“That’s different, I don’t have anything to hide.” 

“And you think I do?” he says exasperatedly. 

You sigh, realizing that he’s right, you’re both at a point where you don’t even care if he looks through your phone, it’s filled with him anyway, same goes for him. You put his phone in front of his face to unlock it, opening the notes app to see together. 

You scroll away, looking at some grocery list, medical stuff, until one title caught your eye, it was your name. You ask for his permission first, to which he replies with a hum. 

You clicked on the title, and your heart warmed upon looking at what’s inside. It’s literally about you. Unending pointers of things you liked, things you don’t, brands you prefer, up to the third alternative in case your preferred brand is out of stock. What shocked you the most was that he kept notes on things he noticed that made you happy and things he noticed that made you sad. 

“Jack,” you call to him, not knowing what to say. 

“It’s not too weird, is it?” he says. You shake your head. 

“You’re such a simp, it’s perfect.” You nudged his side with your elbow. 

“Just wanna be better for you,” he admits softly. 

“You missed one thing that makes me happy.” 

“Yeah? What’s that?” because he was damn sure the list is very up to date. 

You didn’t say anything, instead typing under the list. 

Jack. 

He didn’t say anything back, opting to just kiss you senseless instead. 

[somanyideassolittletime]

john shen x fem!reader blurb/ mini fic

“You got a boyfriend.” the familiar voice of the night-shift attending broke through your post-shift daze, his voice filled with his usual confidence of righteousness. 

You raised your head to look at him, eyebrow raised slightly, “Well, hello to you, too, Jack.” 

“You’re not answering me,” he said pointedly, dropping his bag near his foot. 

“You’re not asking me?” 

He scoffed, calling Robby over. Robby walked over to the two of you, taking out his earphones from his ears, looking at you, “Why are you still here?” 

“I’m going, I’m going,” you said before Jack could say anything else. You succeeded in taking one step away when Jack caught your shoulder, making you groan. 

Hand still on your shoulder, he turned his head to look at Robby, “Kid’s got a boyfriend.” Robby smirked at you, “spill.” 

I swear, if I wasn’t taught to respect my elders- 

“You believe him? He doesn’t even have any evidence whatsoever.” 

Jack takes his hand off, putting them in his pockets, “Denial means I’m right.” Robby was nodding along with him. 

“I need to know if you’re treated right, what if you can’t perform because y’know-” Robby shrugged, pretending to be dead serious, which you know he is not. 

“Bullshit, you just want some goss” 

“Yeah, so spill,” he pushed you once more. 

You looked between both of them, lifting your chin to point at Jack, “Why don’t you ask him? He seems to know more about me.” 

“Ha. So you admit you do have a boyfriend.-” Jack’s corner of his mouth lifted smugly. “How long? Do we know him?” 

Robby lifted his hand to motion ‘hold up’. “How do you even come to that conclusion?” 

Jack scoffed, hands flailing up and down at you, “kid’s buzzing, man. Kept on smirking and shit.” Robby listened seriously, “Now that you say it, she does suddenly smile now and then all day,” nodding to himself. 

You can see your boyfriend from the corner of your eye, entering the floor, you tried to act indifferent, failing as Jack catches on to your changes in demeanour. 

He laughed, open-mouthed, “See. She’s giddy even thinking about him.” 

Wrong. I’m giddy because my boyfriend just came to work.

“This is stupid.” You look past his head to catch your boyfriend’s eyes, silently asking for his help. 

Robby and Jack looked behind, looking at Shen before turning back again. “Oh no, Shen’s not gonna help you out of this, kid.” 

You huffed, “Fine. What do you oldies wanna know?” 

“How long?”

 “Who?” 

Both Jack and Robby said at the same time, and you looked at them, still in your annoyed state. Both of them still have a smug look. Doesn’t an old man have old man hobbies? 

“Four months, yes, you probably know him,” you said, holding in a smirk just as John approached the three of you. 

“What do we have here?” John asked, a lazy smile apparent. If you weren’t so annoyed, your heart would’ve done that stupid flip just looking at his smile. 

“Do you know?” Jack asked him. John looked lost, Jack continues, “She got a boyfriend.” 

John has the audacity to look smug, his usual nonchalant face now replaced with shit eating grin. 

“So the cat’s out, then?” John said, thinking that the older guys now know. 

“You know?” Jack asked him, Now this, this he doesn’t expect. He genuinely thought that Abbot and Robby finally knew of his predicament. 

“Yeah, four months or so now,-” Shen’s tone was too casual, way too casual for both Jack and Robby, who knew that Shen had the hots for you. Both of them share a look, knowing something ain’t right. Not that they would say it outright. 

Your phone suddenly rings, saved by the bell. You don’t even check who’s calling before walking away to take the call, away from two nosy old white men.

You take the call whilst taking your bag from your locker. Now that you are free to go, you slam the locker door and start walking to the exit, not forgetting to leave some leftover bars you didn’t get to eat today inside your boyfriend’s locker. 

Back at the station, Robby decided that it was time to go, before he got called away again (and by his count, Myrna is going to arrive any minute, but it’s Jack’s problem now, anyway). 

Jack stared at Shen, looking half worried, half weirded out. “Shen, you good?” 

Shen stared back at him, facial expression still not giving anything away. “Uh, yeah?” 

“I thought you were in love with her?” 

“Yeah, I still am,” Shen said. Now, Jack’s face showed nothing except remorse. 

“You sure you’re good?” Jack asked him again. Shen nodded mindlessly at him. 

“Okay, good. Good to know she’s happy now, god knows she deserves it.” 

Shen perked up, “You think?” Jack nodded at him, “Yeah. She’s practically glowing now.” 

“Yeah, good to know.” 

Jack thought that maybe he should stop at that, but it’s not like he doesn’t have any curiosity, not when the guy he knew has been pining for you, and finally lost. So maybe some picking is okay.

“I told you to ask her out long ago. She’s a great kid, anyone would be stupid to reject her.” 

“I know.” 

“Why can’t you just listen to me, man? You deserve to be happy, too, with her, especially.” Jack still rambles. 

“I know,” Shen repeated. 

“See, you’re still- wait, what do you mean?” Jack looked at Shen, bewildered. 

“I know she deserves to be happy.” 

Jack rolled his eyes. “And you?” 

“And I deserve to be happy too,-” Shen said, tone still leaving more room to explain. Jack waits silently. “-which is why we’re dating” 

“What?” Jack’s voice raised slightly. Shen laughed at him, “Yeah, she’s my girlfriend.” 

As much as Jack wanted to punch Shen, he was happy for him, a rare occurrence he might state, so instead of berating him for not telling him sooner, he forces out a half smirk, “So you owe me one?” 

“Hell no.” 

“If I didn’t give you the pep talk, who knows where you at” 

“Technically, you gave me that unnecessary pep talk when we already dated, you just suddenly came over to me and started talking, and I was raised to always respect my elders' words, so I can’t stop you back there, man.” John shrugged. 

Jack doesn’t say anything back, stepping closer to him and pointing at the board above both of them. “Norovirus at Central 2, I appointed you.” his tone was dead serious, though it held no malice in it, purely teasing John. 

“Fuck me.” 

“Ask your girl then,” Jack said, laughing, walking away, only looking back to catch Shen’s eyes once more to see him looking back, middle finger raised at him.

[somanyideassolittletime]

Thinking about Jack getting the casual dominance treatment from his partner, he’s so used to being the dominant one in a relationship that every time his partner would order him around, he would actually need to sit down because his stomach is doing those weird somersaults he’s afraid he might keel over and puke. 

Case 1 : 

He’s been running around all shift, fueled by nothing but coffee. He’s telling himself that he’s not hungry at all, not even when Ellis asked him what he’s getting when she’s ordering tacos in that one place he liked, telling her, “just doesn’t feel like it”. 

“What did he get?” you asked Ellis, passing her phone back. 

“Nothing, didn’t want any.” 

“Make mine double, no cilantro,” you said. Jack hated that cilantro. 

“You doing those mukbang now?” she teases you, fully knowing you’re ordering for him also. 

“I’m pretty sure I need to tie him up and force-feed him just to make him eat, I swear.” 

“Woah. Kinky, didn’t know someone as sweet as you-” 

“Don’t you fucking dare” you pointed at her, she laughed, punching in the order button on her screen. 

Jack doesn’t even realize that the tacos have arrived, opening the break room to take his fourth cup of coffee when he smells the mouth-watering scent of food filling the small room. He tells himself that he’ll go eat breakfast with you later – ignoring his near growling stomach. 

He was about to sip on his coffee when you snatched the cup away from him, putting it on the dining table. 

“Take 20 and eat.” you said, tone leaving no room for negotiation. 

“I’m good. I’ll eat later.” his hand reached over to his cup when you slapped his hand away. 

You put both your hands on his shoulder, pushing him to sit on the chair. “Eat.” 

He stared at you, part amused, part turned on. “I didn’t get myself anything, hon.” 

You rummaged through the plastic bag, looking for his food, when he spoke, “I’m not eating yours if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

You scoffed, “Cute. But I’m not a martyr.” You pushed the food container in front of him, “ no cilantro,” before sitting beside him, opening yours. 

He looked at you, bewildered, “You ordered two? With no cilantro?” You nodded at him, taking a bite of your food. 

“What? Do I need to chew it so all you need is to swallow?” you said when you see him still frozen in his spot.

He laughed, opening the lid, taking a big bite. Shit, I am hungry. 

He wanted to say something mid-chew when you interrupted him, “Eat first. Talk later.” he swallowed, shaking his head, enjoying the quiet moment you two shared. 

You turned to look at him after washing your hands, looking at him, smirking at you. “What?” 

His smirk turned into a grin. “You’re bossy.” 

“Bite me. You’re stubborn.” 

“I’m just not hungry,” he retorted, eyes following your figure as you take your water bottle and take a seat. 

You scoffed, opening the lid of your water bottle to take a sip. “Tell that to your stomach, damn near growling looking at the food.” 

You pass him your bottle, ordering him to take a sip of something other than coffee. He accepted it, taking a few sips himself. 

“I don’t know whether to say you’re annoying or that you’re a godsend.” 

“Just ‘thank you for taking care of your old, stubborn, and annoying partner’ would suffice,” you said to him with a mocking tone. 

His voice dropped, leaning slightly closer, “Just so you know, that does it for me.” 

You put your palm on his face, stopping him from getting closer. “See? Stubborn” 

He licked your palm, making you screech and retract your hand away. “What the hell is wrong with you?” you said, rubbing your hand on your pants. 

He laughed, “Thank you. Love you.” 

The chair screeched against the floor when you stood up. Ruffling his hair, “yeah, yeah, love you” 

You were about to open the door when he opened his mouth to speak, stopping you in your tracks. “So, does the offer still stand?” 

You raised your eyebrow at him, “What offer?” 

He reached to take his coffee from earlier, “you know, to bite you,” you gave him an exasperated look. 

“Something is seriously wrong with you,” you sighed, amused nonetheless. Opening the door to exit the room.

“Still not answering,” he half shouted. 

“Can’t hear ya,” you shouted back, putting your fingers inside your ears. 

Case 2 : 

Being so accustomed to working nights has its downside, especially when it’s your day off. You’ve been way too accustomed to moving around at night that sleeping at night sometimes weirded you out – you thought that once you started sleeping with Jack, you’ll lose this bad habit, turns out, Jack was way worse than you. 

You finally decided that you had had enough of trying to sleep after tossing and turning around the nth time. You rolled over to see if Jack was sleeping soundly, but instead, you were met with his absence. 

The moment you uncover yourself, you’re met with the cold air. Looking around to find the nearest warm piece of clothing, you put it on and decide to search for Jack. 

You found Jack in the kitchen, nursing himself a cup of hot beverage, damn him and his coffee addiction. “Can’t sleep?” he spoke first, breaking the silence of the house. 

“Are you mad?” you asked him. 

“No?” 

“Yeah, drinking coffee at-” you look at the microwave, “ -one on your day off is just a hobby then?” 

He chuckled, “Do you wanna take a walk?” 

You nodded, honestly, the idea of moving around, no matter how freezing it must be outside, appealed to you. He stood up, walking over to you, giving you a peck on your lips. “Let’s go then.” 

You look up and down at him. He can’t be serious, walking around with a t-shirt and pajama pants. You whispered, “Wait,” before running to the bedroom to take one of his hoodies, and running back to Jack. 

Jack was at the door, hands on the handle, when you lifted his hoodie in your hand, expecting to take it no question asked. 

“I’m not cold,” he said, firmly believing himself. 

“Don’t care. Wear it.” You shake your hand, currently holding his hoodie. 

“I’ll be fine, promise.” 

“Wear it.” You order him, feeling like scolding a toddler. 

He groaned, accepting the hoodie anyway. “Ugh, fine-” 

It took him twenty-two steps – you counted how many steps it takes for him to admit that it is indeed freezing – when he finally commented, “Jeez, it’s freezing out here,” with his other hand rubbing your intertwined hands. 

You look at him, expecting him to look at you, but instead he looks to the road, pretending he didn’t just admit he’s cold. 

“Look at me.” he turned his head to look at you staring at him. 

“Told you so,” he groaned loudly, “how long have you been holding that?” 

“Since the moment your nose is red, so about the exact moment you stepped out.” 

He turned his body to you. Giving a kiss to your joined hands, “so annoying-, god I love you so much.” 

“My lips are freezing too,” he chuckled, leaning down to give you a kiss.

[somanyideassolittletime]

can't write andrew in a canon compliance fic because that dude deserve so much more holy shit

[somanyideassolittletime]

help me disappear.

pairing: Andrew 'pope' Cody X reader

summary: andrew is done.

warnings: typical AK stuff, blood, hurt, fluff, Andrew is in love, language, maybe ooc (?)

author's note: finally get my hands on writing about this misunderstood dude, i swear writing him is hard HARD.

He’s fucking done. 

Done with his life – whatever left of it anyway – he’s done with his fucking family, done with the way his family always treat him like he’s the expendable one, after everything he did for them. 

It used to take a lot to pull him out of that life, but not tonight. Tonight, all it took was the fact that everyone decided to treat his brother's superficial injuries first, forgetting that the reason Craig only has those injuries was because he saved him. 

He doesn’t even say anything when everyone’s fretting over Craig, waiting for his turn to be stitched up. “We’ll look at yours after Craig’s good to go, ‘kay pope?” like his wounds aren’t making him almost light headed while craig is still laughing sipping at his fucking beer. 

He’s so used to it that he never thinks twice about the way his family treats him, never questions it once, and was groomed into thinking that maybe he did deserve this kind of treatment. 

In a way, he believed it. He believed that he was the monster his family always painted him to be, the one with a fucked up head, the one who never deserve good things life can offer him. 

He doesn’t even understand what love is, not in a capacity that his family always makes him believe that whatever it is, it’s love. Then you came into his life, understanding him, never pushing him to be anything he is not, and that’s when he realized that whatever definition of love his family pushed him on, is not love. 

Being with you is love, being taken care of like he’s the most important person in the world is love, being fretted over just because he pulled a muscle is love. And just like that, one person entirely changed the way he viewed love. 

You’re the last good thing in his life, hidden away from the corrupted grasp of his family, reserved for him and him only. 

His eyes looked over at the clock. It's one in the morning, he hoped you’re off dreaming now, but he knows you, you’re probably switching into a light-sleep mode to wait for him. His heart aches thinking about you, how sometimes he thinks he doesn’t deserve your love, only to be proven wrong time and time again. 

He needs you, now more than ever. 

He stood up, walking over to the pool, throwing his phone into the water, ignoring the questioning looks and questions his ‘brothers’ threw his way, and sauntered off to his car, not thinking about anything – not even the gaping wound in his abdomen – only about you. 

I’m done. 

This time, he thinks about it with an air of finality, that he would rather be found dead than go back to that god forsaken family. 

Driving to your place with a hand over his stomach and road rash doesn’t faze him, not when all he can think about is just being in the same vicinity as you. He doesn’t need to knock on your door when you open it after hearing his truck pull up, assessing him before meeting his eyes with a worried look. 

And he hated himself for it, for making you worried over him, but he found the worried look you gave him gave him comfort, that you, out of all people, cared about him and loved him. 

You motioned for him to go inside. He obeys, walking over to the bathroom, leaving you in the doorway to lock the door behind him. Your eyes followed his figure, it’s different tonight. He’s hurt, you’re sure of it, but something is definitely different about him. 

“Can you open your shirt?” you said, entering the bathroom, finding him perched on the edge of the bathtub, bloodied gauze thrown over the sink. 

He looked at you, “‘m fine. Just wanted to go home.” his voice is desperate. You walked over to him, kissing his head softly. “You are home. Just let me see, okay?” You lift his arms above his head gently, afraid of hurting him more than he already has, before lifting his shirt off. 

Your eyes swept over him once again, you tried not to look worried, you didn’t want him to feel sorry, but you couldn’t even help it. “Don’t look at me like that,” Andrew said, eyes still boring into yours. “Sorry. You’re hurt, Andrew,” you said while washing your hands to clean him up. 

Fuck. He’s been called Pope all day today; hearing you call him Andrew might just cure him. 

“I’m fine, just needed to be with you.” You kneeled in front of him, looking at him to ask for his permission to touch him. He nodded. “This might sting.” You gave him a heads up. 

Andrew hissed as he felt the sting. “Sorry,” you don’t even know why you apologized, you just did. He shakes his head, leaning his head slightly to give a kiss to your forehead. “It’s okay, you’re not hurting me.” 

You stand up to your full height, stitching kit in hand, before kissing him deeply. He sighs into the kiss, kissing you back with fervor, like his life depended on it. In a way, it does. 

He looked at you confused, you smiled at him. “What for?” you chuckled, “to take your mind off with the fact that this” – you said motioning to the kit in hand – “is gonna hurt like a bitch” 

He laughed half-heartedly, coming out more as a scoff. He find it funny that after all the shit he’s been through tonight, the only one who is afraid of hurting him is the one who is the gentlest with him. 

He’s silent the entire time you fix him up, a few hisses he can’t help coming out of him, followed by a ‘sorry’ from you every time he does so. 

“So, who should I fight? Craig? Who’s the other one you said? Uh. deran?” you said, not expecting him to answer, “you know I can fight as well as you do, so just give me the order I’ll fuck anyone up.” 

“You don’t have to fight for me,” he said softly. You scoffed. “Hell no. I’ll fight for the one I love.” his heart thightens at your words. “You’re better fighter than they are, but you’re gonna leave with a broken hand with how thick their fucking skulls are.” 

You laughed, and god, if that doesn’t heal him, he doesn’t think anything can. “Eh, a few broken bones are nothing if I get to hurt anyone who hurt you.” you said it casually, that he needed a few moments before the words sink in. You stand up to wash your hands at the sink. He followed your movement, standing up slowly, frozen in his spot when the words does sink in.  

“You wanna shower first?” you ask him while cleaning up everything. He puts his arms around your waist, holding you firmly, kissing the space between your neck and shoulder, whispering “thank you,” to which you reply with a hum. 

“Love you,” he said before kissing you properly, soft now, your hands find themselves in his curls, deepening the kiss. 

“Love you too, go shower, I’ll heat up dinner for you,” you said, watching him strip the rest of his clothes, afraid he’s holding on to more injuries without telling you. “You’re too good for me,” he said, wincing slightly when he needed to bend down. “Thank god i’m yours, then, huh?” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. 

When you find that he is indeed okay, you walk away from the bathroom to heat the leftover food from your meal earlier. 

He could smell the aroma of your cooking when he walked over to the kitchen, fully clothed now, fresh out of the shower, hair still damp. You turned over to him when you heard his footsteps, walking over to give a hug, nuzzling your nose to his chest, breathing in his scent. 

“You always smell so good after a shower, I never get enough,” you said against his chest. He chuckled, hands moving all over your back in a soothing pattern. “I’m not wearing any cologne, babe.” 

“Exactly. I like your scent,-” you said, taking a deep breath, “-and that shower gel you like so much.” You pulled away from his embrace, pushing him slightly to take a seat to eat. 

You watched him as he ate. he looked so relaxed with you, so soft. It always fills your chest with pride at how you are able to strip him of his highly guarded wall, to just exist. 

“What do ya think?” you asked him. He swallows before answering you, “I always like whatever it is you’re making.” You stand up, walking over to ruffle his damp hair. “I’ll be at the bed, just leave it after you’re done, okay?” he’s still chewing on his food, nodding at you. 

You’re waiting for him at the bed when he enters the room, walking over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The door was open, so you peeked over at him. You’re practically living here. Why don’t you move in officially with me? You thought silently. 

Not silent enough, it seems, as Andrew stopped mid-brush to look over at you, his expression was unreadable. He spit and rinsed his mouth before exiting the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

“You want to live with me?” he said, sitting at the edge of the bed. “If you want to live with me, of course,” he turned his body, slightly wincing at the action. 

“Careful, love,” you said reactively, arms reaching to him, inviting him to lie under the cover beside you. He put his legs under the cover, back propping up against the headboard, mirroring your position. You leaned your head on his shoulder. He sighed contentedly at the proximity. 

“I want nothing more than to spend my life with you,” you smiled, hearing him, “yeah? You wanna marry me, huh?” you teased, lilt evident in your voice. “You want to be married to me?” his voice shaking slightly – uncertain that someone like you wanted to be married to someone like him – you frowned. 

You snuggled into him, his arms around you now. “Andrew, I love you, and I want to forever be with you, okay? A ring on my finger isn’t gonna change anything.” 

“I’ll get you a ring tomorrow,” he said. You chuckled at him, “It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, Andy, hell, you don’t have to give me anything. Just being with you is enough.”  

“No. I’ll get you a ring tomorrow.” his tone leaves no room for negotiation. Your palm caressing his chest softly. basking in the comfort of silence in the room. 

“I’m done,” he said suddenly, his tone firm. You leaned slightly to meet his eyes. “Done with what?” he swallowed a lump in his throat. “With that life, with my family, with anything that doesn’t include you in it.” 

He can hear your breath hitch in your throat, surprised that he had said it. “Huh?” you asked him, uncertain. “You taught me what love is, you erased my very fucked up definition of love, how do you even love me after everything, i never understand,- and fuck, I won’t let anything take you away from me, not even my family.” 

You were at a loss; anything you said wouldn’t ever hold up with what he just said. So you just nod at him, “Okay, then. Whatever you want or need, just tell me.” 

“Help me disappear, help me forget the life I once had. Help me get away from them,” he pleaded to you, his words croaking. You kissed his shoulder blades, “I will, Andrew, I will-” you can hear his heartbeat slowing down. “One step at a time, okay? For now, you need to sleep, and we can talk about this after you’re better.” 

“I love you,” he said, kissing your forehead, before closing his eyes to sleep – he finds that sleeping is as easy as it is to breathe when he’s sleeping with you beside him – “love you too, g’night, love” 

The morning he wakes up, he looks over at your side, not finding you beside him. His heart started to race when he started to hear the TV playing outside the room. You stayed, you still fucking stayed. He swing his legs over to stand up, wrong move, he hissed a fuck before stabilizing himself. He was going to walk over to you when you sprinted inside the bedroom. 

“You okay? Is your stitch ripped? Let me see” your words are too fast for his just-woke-up state. But he still shake his head, “i’m good, just stood up to fast.” you pay his words no mind as you still approached him, lifting his shirt to check his stitches. Your fingers softly touching his stomach. He catches you hand in his, moving it away from his figure. 

“Damn freezing hands” he mumbled. You smirked at him, latching your palms on his abdomen once again. “Feel this you fucker.” he laughed, giving your lips a peck. 

“I need to take the rest of my stuff and then I’ll go buy that ring for you.” he peck your lips once more, “any of your stuff important?” he shake his head “just my clothes” you frowned at him, “fuck it then, let’s just buy you some more, I won’t let you go that house anymore” . 

“Yeah, you’re right. Fuck it.” 

You take his hand in yours, pulling him over, “let’s just drink coffee first-” you stopped in your track, stopping. “We need to get you a phone too, a proper one. Y’know with real numbers and all, who knows? You might wanna put our photo as a wallpaper” 

“Agreed, now coffee?” he smirked at you, “oh right, let's go.” you pulled him into the kitchen, pouring his coffee for him. 

He was sipping on his coffee when you suddenly said out loud “shit, I just realized we don’t have a single photo together” he almost choked on his coffee with the way he laughed. 

“We’ll just make more memories worth taking pictures of then” you nodded at him excitedly, putting your mug on the table, before kissing him stupidly, you can taste the coffee. 

Pulling away, you raised your mug, pointing it at his own, “To a new beginning?” he clinks your glass, mimicking a toast. “To a new beginning” 

In that moment, he thanked whatever it is that put you in his path. He finds himself at peace with his past, no matter how fucked up his past is, he can finally change the narrative of fate’s ugly punishment for him to penance. Because it led him to you, and everything he’s gone through, he’ll go through it again if he can always find you in the end. 

[somanyideassolittletime]

crumbs.

Pairing: Jack Abbot x fem!reader

Summary: secret marriage just for shit and giggles. crack fic lowkey.

Warnings: language. insinuation to sex. mentions of cheating (not Jack). grammar inaccuracies as usual. have fun hahahaha idk why i write this.

Nobody ever pieced together the fact that both you and Jack are married to each other. Everyone, with the exception of Robby and Dana, that is. Everyone knows that Jack has a wife, whom he never refers to by name. Everyone also knows that you have a husband, who, to everyone’s convenience, is also referred to by you as your husband. 

It was common knowledge that you and Jack are close, eerily close to the point Whitaker once asked Jack if his wife knows you. One time, Langdon even asked Robby what’s going on in your house that you allowed yourself to be really close with Jack. 

Both of which were answered by “Not your business.” – In Robby’s case, he was right, though in Jack’s case, he was just messing with Whitaker.

Shen has a theory that Jack is cheating with his wife with you, and he got smacked by Ellis, saying, “What opposite sex can’t be friends now?” 

Javadi once asked you if Jack is your ‘Utah’, whom you can’t have but are attracted to. You laughed at her, saying, “I’m married” – to him. You should’ve said, but what importance is it anyway? 

When asked about her opinion – by Matteo, in one of their after-shift gossip sesh – Santos only answered with “Abbot? Yeah, no way that dude’s getting side chick. With her nonetheless” in front of Robby, who only scoffs, laughing nonetheless. 

It also doesn’t help with the fact that you two are damn professionals, never leaving any crumbs for others about your relationship with eachother – one time, the both of you had a big debate about patient care, making everyone who thinks both of you are married change their mind. 

(“See, if they’re married, you think Abbot would argue with her?” Mckay once said to whitaker. 

“It’s still weird they’re that close.”) 

It wasn’t like you two were overly secretive about it; if they were to just outwardly ask who it is you are married to, you would’ve answered them. But you know how kids are with their egos. You weren’t planning on making it a big secret anyway, but what started as a fun ‘private not secret’ thing became your source of entertainment. 

So when one of you accidentally leaves some crumbs, they eat them up like a starving wolf. 

| one

The first crumb started out with Jack’s car sweater, the one you insist on leaving in the car since he never outwardly says that he’s cold. It’s not like he planned on wearing the sweater that night, but it was so damn cold he started thanking you for leaving the sweater in his car on his way. 

“Didn't know you both went to the same school, man. Is that why you two are real close?” Shen commented to Jack as the latter peeled his sweater off his body and tossed it into his locker.

“What? Who?” Jack tried to be nonchalant in his response; if Shen were to find out, everyone would find out. Not that he minded, it was just so fun to see everyone trying to piece it together. 

“Y/n, man. Met her last week when she swung by my place,” 

“You met her last week?” Jack questioned him. Though he did remember you saying you’re going to Shen’s to drop something.

“Yeah, I was borrowing her speaker. Mine's busted. Told me that she rarely uses it now.” Shen sipped his iced coffee when a voice joined in behind.

“Whose stuff are you taking again now?” Ellis chimes in between the two men while opening up her locker and putting her stuff inside.

“Y/n. And no, I didn't take it, she kindly gave it to me – or I borrowed it – from her since she told me she never used it anymore.” Shen rolls his eyes, indulging in Ellis's antics nonetheless.

“ah yeah, is she coming today?” Yeah like he didn't just kiss her goodbye before going to work.

“Nah, man, it's her day off. Look, Abbot, you know I have like utmost respect for you, right?” Now this is getting fun.

Jack nodded slowly, unsure, and replied, “what do you mean?”

“Both of you always had like this weird connection, like mad weird. But don’t you think it’s bordering… I dunno like weird?” Ellis explained to him like it was a conspiracy theory they are unraveling.

“Yeah, I lost you,” Jack said. Shen sighed loudly, “You’re married, she’s married, y’know? Boundaries, man, boundaries.” 

“I’ll have you know my boundaries with my wife are perfectly intact,” Jack tried to say it as calmly as possible, but he bit his cheek in order to keep his smirk contained. 

“Okay, whatever.-” Shen sipped his coffee Jack was sure he needed to physically hold back from swatting it from his hand. “-just, respect, man, respect” 

Jack raised his eyebrow. “is there something I don’t know ?” Ellis cut to the chase, asking Shen. 

“y/n wear his sweater,” Ellis gasped, Jack mock offense. “What the hell?”

“You said it like only one exist, you can go to the nearest goodwill and find that shit man.” now Jack and you had promised not to lie if anyone were to ask, but he technically did not lie right now. 

“Oh the college one? Yeah, almost everyone who go there has one.” Ellis shoved Shen for giving her – what she thought – was misinformation. 

Jack huffed dramatically, rubbing his face (in a attempt to hide his grin) “thank you, finally some sense” 

“Nah, still gotta respect them boundaries, man,” Ellis shrugged. Shen still looked at him accusingly. 

“Y’know what? Why do I even listen to you guys? We got work to do, c’mon,” Jack said, clipping his badge to the side pocket of his pants.

Shen points his finger at him, walking away with Ellis “boundaries”. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved him off, before fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

|Jack : you know for someone who thinks this is fun, you keep giving them hints. 

|you : what now? 

|Jack : the damn car sweater. 

|you : Oh HAHA, you know if John just peeked out of his driveway, he would see I was driving your truck. 

|Jack : nah, he’s smart, but not that smart. 

|you : I have zero tolerance on my kid’s slander. How dare you????

|Jack : hon you can pick anyone and you choose him? C’mon now. 

He was called out before he can see your response, quickly he typed in. 

|Jack : i gotta go. Love you, don’t watch the new episode without me. 

|you: Hmmm hard bargain but love you too. 

| two 

The second crumbs were your fault. You were going to do some me time – and you always told Jack to get himself a good thermos for his coffee, he told you that he can always use yours, but when you pointed out to him that your bottles have bizarre colours, he gave in and gave you his card to, in his words, ‘surprise me’ before kissing your temple and walking you to the door – So your plan for the day was to get him a good thermos that can hold his coffee hot for at least his entire shift. 

How hard is it to get it right? Wrong. You’ve been to two target, one walmart, and one sporting store, only to find zilch. Okay, if Jack are okay with pastel yellow you could’ve gotten it in the first store. But you were looking for something more….him. So now here you are in an outdoor store looking for one freaking plain black thermos. 

Finally finding what you wanted to give to Jack, you were just taking it off the shelves when someone called out your name. 

“L/n? Fancy seeing you here.” You turned your head away to the voice, finding Jesse smiling at you. 

“Ugh, Jess, stop calling me that,” you groaned at him. “Habit, sorry-” he looked at the thermos in your hand, jutting his chin out to point at it, “-that’s a different vibe for you” 

You looked at the thermos in your hand, sheepishly, “ah yeah, wanted something neutral. You here alone?” you said, trying to change the topic from said bottle in your hand. 

He nodded, “Yeah, you in a hurry? I kinda need your input on a Jacket.” You shake your head, “nah, let’s see the jacket.” 

You should’ve been thankful that Jesse got himself on a different self-checkout, because if he were queuing behind you, he would’ve seen the card nameholder definitely not stating your name. But you put that encounter in the back of your mind until it was hinted at next time you met him.

It was a few hours into the shift when Jack took out his thermos at his station, sipping on it. Holy shit, it’s still hot. He thought. 

“Fancypants bottle you got over there,” Mckay pointed out at him. Catching the attention of nurses around – Jesse included. 

You heard McKay’s comment the first time, but decided that it’s probably just a chat, so you busied yourself. Looking over at him occasionally. 

“At least my coffee’s hot to keep me sane,” Jack commented to her, seeing the looks the nurses were giving him, he tried to pay no attention. 

Jesse approached him, “Actually, Abbot, can I see? I’ve been wanting to buy one” 

Jack nodded, handing his thermos to Jesse, who looked at the thermos way too thoroughly. He smirked to himself, “Didn’t peg you as someone who uses this,” he said, handing it back to Jack. 

 “Yeah, someone gave it to me. It’s cool, though. Still scorching hot.” 

Hearing that, Jesse looked over to you, who caught your eyes on him, and he raised his eyebrow suspiciously at you. You looked away too fast for someone innocent, and he smirked smugly at you. You shrugged at him, mouthing what? He laughed at that. 

“Why are you laughing, man?” McKay asked him. He shakes his head. “Nah, just reminded me of someone, I’ll put one on my wishlist though,” he said, the last part pointing at Jack’s thermos. 

Jack, who doesn’t understand what’s happening, over his damn bottle nonetheless, decides to continue focusing on the screen in front of him. 

It wasn’t until later that you realized why Jesse looked over at you when he called you “dr. someone.” fuck, he saw me buy that fucking thermos. You were going to talk back at him, but he was long gone. 

“Is it true? You gave him that bottle?” Ellis asked you as you were preparing to go home that day. 

You stopped your action, trying to stay cool. “What? Who?” – it has been a fun couple of years, shame it all go to waste because of a stupid thermos. 

“Jesse told me he saw you buy a bottle similar to one in Abbot’s hand” she explained, pointing at Jack, bag in his shoulder and the thermos in his hand. 

“So what? I gave Abbot a bottle and you act like it’s the end of the world” she looked at you incredulously, exasperated “dude, your husband, remember???” 

You laughed at her, “he won’t be mad. Gotta go bye” you said quickly, jogging over to the exit door. Still holding a grin. 

| three

The third crumb was a joint fault. It was because of a damn phone call. It’s not way too early in the morning, but it was one of those hours when it’s suspicious to be spending it together. 

Both of you just woke up, still trying to fight the sleep from your eyes with a cup of coffee in the silence of the kitchen, when the phone rang from the bedroom. 

Without a second thought, you stand up and walk to the room, looking at the caller. Langdon. You groaned, accepting the call. 

“Frank, I swear-” You looked over the nightstand. Huh, that’s my phone there. Langdon’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “y/n?” you stilled. Shit. That’s my phone. This is Jack’s phone. 

You ran through the house, over to the kitchen, ignoring Jack’s confused face, before shoving the phone to his ear. You mouthed to him. Langdon. 

“Abbot. What’s wrong?” his voice gruff, almost annoyed. He looked over to you before listening to what Langdon was asking him. Why are you giving this to me? 

You mouthed back at him. Not my phone. He smirked, holding back a laugh before explaining to Langdon what he needed. 

You decided to go back to the bedroom to get the right phone. You scrolled over the notifications, mindlessly walking back to the kitchen. 

When you get back to Jack’s side, Langdon’s voice is muffled, but you can still hear it from where you’re standing. 

“Is that Y/n before?” he asked Jack, who elbowed your side gently before putting his arm around your waist. 

“What? Who? It’s my day off today. Just let me turn my fucking phone off.” 

“Oh shit. It is-.” Jack disconnected the call as soon as possible. 

He turned over slightly, facing you, laughing. “Remind me again why we still play this stupid game?” 

You stepped closer between his thighs, he leaned his head into your stomach, “because it’s fun-” you said, putting your hand in his curls. “-and god knows we need some fun things to do.” 

He slipped his hands under your shirt, needing the skin contact. You put your hands under his jaw, tilting his head slightly before meeting his lips in a fleeting kiss. 

“Jack, you know I love you, but your hand’s freezing,” you said to him, taking his hands in yours, removing them from your skin. 

He huffed, “You know your kid’s theorizing that I cheat on my wife with you, right?” 

You laughed wholeheartedly, knowing who he meant. “Oh my god, did we just adopt Shen?” he nodded. “Sounds about right.” 

You reached for your coffee before entertaining Jack’s earlier admission. “Matteo told me that Santos said you can’t bag me.” smiling into your mug. 

“Huh. last night’s my only argument” 

You gave him a serious look, “do you think we should tell everyone? 5 years enough for secrets don’t you think?” 

“Love, can i be honest?” you nodded at him, urging him to continue. “I kinda find it fun.” 

You rolled your eyes, “fuck I thought you wanna say somethin” 

“Whoa you kiss your husband with that mouth?” he teased. You shoved him gently before walking away “yeah, my husband ain’t getting a kiss today” 

You couldn’t see him feigning mock hurt, “wait you serious?-” 

“Hon?” you laughed at him back in the bedroom, hearing shuffled footsteps. 

|four 

The fourth crumbs was not a crumb, its a damn cookie being dropped, aka Jack finally tell everyone the depth of your relationship. 

It wasn’t even the worst shift both of you have experienced; it was fairly mild, to quote Shen’s words. But the med student currently on his ED rotation is getting on his nerves with how much he hovers over you. 

“Dr. l/n can I join you?”

“Dr. l/n can you teach me?” 

“Oh I can help you” 

And the worst of it all? Was him asking you, his wife, “dr. l/n, you’re working nights, is your husband treating you right?” 

You handled him like a champ, it’s not your first rodeo after all, so you gently put a hand on his shoulder, “trust me, if that’s what you're asking after joining me on multiple cases, you should reconsider being a doctor. Now take 20, heard there’s some food in the break room.” 

Ellis, the angel that she is, called out to him to join her in the break room, where Shen and Jack – on your insistence to take a break – are eating pastries. 

“What’s he doing here? y/n’s wearing you down, kid?” Shen commented, earning a shake of the head from said kid. 

“She told me to take 20.” Shen whistled, “damn. 4 hours. Record breaker over here.” 

Ellis laughed, looking over at the kid who looked lost. “If y/n tells you to take 20 means either you’re overworking yourself or you piss her off.” 

The kid takes offense at Ellis’ words, “ I helped her. A lot. Not my fault she’s pissed at me.” 

“You literally ask her about her home life, kid.” Ellis shrugged, leaning over to take a plain croissant – knowing the last pain au chocolate is yours. 

“He what?” Shen looked at the kid with a raised eyebrow, waiting for Jack to say something. 

“It’s a fair question, I mean, why would she even be working nights when she should be at home with her husband, y’know?” he said that as if it was no big deal, hand reaching out to take the pain au chocolate. 

Shen and Jack instinctively swat his hand away. “Not that one,” both of them said at the same time. The new kid retracts his hand, scared, before reaching over to the cheese croissant. 

“Hey, Dr. Abbot-” he turns his head towards Jack, “you’re the closest one with her, right?” Jack nodded, still hadn’t said a word the entire time he’s been here. Shen stood up, walking over to Ellis, looking for two mugs, pouring coffee before passing one to Jack.  

“Do you think she’ll go for breakfast with me after the shift’s over?” 

Y’know what? I’m sick of this. “Why would you?” 

“Well, she’s hot-. And smart as hell. Doesn’t help that she’s-” he stopped his rambling when he saw you walking over to the break room. Jack has his back on the door, but he always knows you’re close – a freak superpower, Ellis once told him. 

“Should I say the q word so you guys aren’t bored or what?” you said as you entered the room. 

“Don’t you dare.” “If you can say it faster than my hands,” both Shen and Ellis said, making you laugh. You looked over Jack’s shoulder to see the hot coffee in front of him. 

Without thinking, you walked over, putting your hand on his shoulder, taking the mug in your hand before bringing the coffee to your mouth. Sighing in content. 

“That’s his coffee,” the new kid commented. It was nothing out of the ordinary for Shen and Ellis, both currently thinking about how to stir the pot. 

“I know?” you asked him, unsure what he was insinuating. “That’s dr. Abbot’s coffee. You just drank from his mug.” 

The pot need not be stirred. Ellis and Shen are already liking where this goes. 

“What? My wife can’t take my coffee? Go ahead, ask her for breakfast.” Jack said, his hand shooting up to his shoulder to hold your hand. 

While the kid was flabbergasted, Shen was the first one to speak up. “What the fuck? What about your wife?” Ellis slapped the back of his head. “She’s his wife, you idiot” 

You chuckled, leaning down to give Jack’s curls a peck. “Damn, you said it was fun?” Jack shrugged. “Eh, getting pretty tired.” 

The kid stood up, looking at you, “i’m sorry. I crossed a line. Hope you understand.” you offered him a hand, “no hard feelings, kid.” he shook your hand, walking away from the room hurriedly. 

Shen was still lost, and Ellis already had an inkling but never voiced it out – she once saw both of you making out in a bar watching a Steelers game. 

“Any questions, John?” you looked over at Shen, “since when? HR? Why? Who knows?” you laughed at him, sitting down beside Jack. 

“HR’s good, no power imbalance. why? Hmm I don’t know. Was fun, I guess-” you put your hand on Jack’s knee, “was before your time, but who officially knows is Robby and Dana. How long? Well, how long have we been together, Jack?” 

Jack chuckled “fuck if  I know, we both ain’t counting. But married for 5”  putting his hand on top of yours. 

“So when I told you about that sweater, it actually is yours? And Frank’s phone call was actually you? And that damn bottle rumors Jesse said was true?” 

“Do you need them to spell it out for you or what?” Ellis said to Shen. Jack leaned toward you, “told you your kid’s stupid.” You shoved his shoulder, still smiling. 

Ellis points at you. “Hey? What about me?” Shen smiles smugly at her. “I’m their kid. Take the L”

You reached over to Jack’s coffee again, smiling into the cup as you took a sip. Jack groaned “dude, we just outed your main gossip source, and that’s what you guys are concerned about?” 

“Oh no, we don’t care about you. About y/n though, so which one of us you love more?” Shen asked you. You laughed, giving Jack a peck on the cheek – his eyes fluttered, one Ellis catch. 

If this is what it entails when everyone knows of your relationship, Jack would’ve told everyone the moment you guys got married. 

“Not my fault, I’m lovable.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. You both can pester her all you want.” Jack said as he stood up, squeezing your shoulder, looking over at the kids. 

“So, what are you nosy about?” 

[somanyideassolittletime]

you're gonna live forever in me

Pairing: Jack Abbot x fem!reader (3rd pov)

summary: John Mayer makes great sad song.

Warnings: angst, angst, angst.

He doesn’t even remember having this song in his phone, she must’ve added this a long time ago, he thinks. 

The great big bang and dinosaurs 

fiery rain and meteors 

It all ends unfortunately. 

But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, just wait and see

Jack's hands grasped the steering wheel hard when the familiar music played in his car. He knows the song by heart – listening to an artist's discography repeatedly does that to someone, he supposed. His mind tells him to change the song and to throw away every memory he has associated with this song, but his heart tells him to listen; to reminisce about all the good times he’s had the privilege to experience. Ironic really, he’s pulling up in the driveway and this song decides to play.

“Why do you like sad songs so much, I never understand,” he once asked her, driving around the city at night, no destination on mind. “It’s not sad, J. It’s beautiful.-” She looked at him like he hung the moon, she always does. “Imagine loving someone to the point that they live forever in you,” he chuckled, “I don’t have to, you already are.” And she had cried that night, hearing him mutter those words. 

J, a nickname he once hated – how hard it is to just say Jack? He once thought – but hearing her call him J for the first time, he couldn’t help but erase his forethought on how much he hated that nickname. Hearing her call him J makes him feel young again; her tone always holds no malice every time she calls him that, for him, hearing her mutter those one letter is like a prayer, a beacon of how close she held him in her heart. 

Parts of me were made by you

And planets keep their distance too

The moon's got a grip on the sea

And you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, it's your destiny

His mind wandered to the one time they went to The Museum, looking around hand in hand, talking about everything all at once. 

“J, did you know that in some interpretations of the Greek mythology, human beings are made with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. But fearing what they could do, Zeus split them into halves, and they spend the rest of their lives finding the other half.” she had said to him, he laughed, bringing their intertwining hand to his lips, kissing it, “what a weird fact to tell me when we’re looking at a sabretooth, hon.” She had laughed too. “yeah, the timing was off, sorry” he turned to her, looking in her eyes, leaning in, “never be sorry, I love it.-” he whispers to her “also I would love to kiss you, but we’re kinda in the museum.” he leaned back, both smiling at each other like nothing else in the world mattered, both silently agreeing that they have found the other half. 

Life is full of sweet mistakes

And love's an honest one to make

Time leaves no fruit on the tree

But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, it's just meant to be

The car is parked, but he can’t will himself to turn it off, not when his mind is currently preoccupied by the thoughts that kept him up most nights. He never stopped loving her, he still finds her in every day small things; a book he thinks she will love, a song he knows she’ll play in their home repeatedly until he can recite the entire lyrics. She still occupies his thoughts a lot, even after all these years. 

His mind kept repeating the night he called it off before he went to bed every night – he kept reciting all the hurtful words he had said over and over again, wishing he had said something different, something that could make her stay. And on one of those nights, when he’s been too deep in his own thoughts, he would twist the memory to the point that he can picture her in bed beside him, holding him, telling him to go to sleep, and that all that has happened was just some twisted nightmare he conjured up. 

How he wished that he would give in to the fight when he called it off instead of doing what he had always been doing, retract himself. I don’t like it when you don’t argue back, it’s like what we had is not worth fighting, J. had once said to him in one of their first fight. 

And when the pastor asks the pews

For reasons he can't marry you

I'll keep my word and my seat

But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, just wait and see

He wonders if she’s moved on, if she’s found someone worthy of her love, if she’s found her a husband. If she is married, in a way, he’s glad; glad that he doesn’t have to bear seeing her walking down the aisle, glad that she’s happy, that she found herself her other half. 

She’s gonna live forever in him, that’s her destiny for him, he supposed. No matter where she is, no matter what she’s doing, what she’s thinking, part of him will still always live for her as part of her will always live forever in him. No matter what he’s doing, the memory of the time he spent with her will always live in the back of his mind, like a reminder of what he has lost. 

The song has changed now, he wills himself to turn the ignition off, walking into his home, bag slung on one shoulder.  Putting the key in the slot, he can’t help to think that maybe, just maybe, she’ll greet him on the other side of the door, hug him, and kiss his cheek like she always does. But he knows better than to hope. 

He emptied his pockets on the table, looking around the house – now feels too big, too empty, too cold – and sighed. His phone lit up with a notification, one he knew not from her. He picked up his phone, with a recent game score notification on the front screen. Not knowing what to do. 

It's like his hand has a mind of its own, his thumb now hovering over her number, and suddenly his phone felt hot in his hand. He contemplates longer than he usually does. 

So he did the best thing he should’ve done all those years – he listened to his heart – and pressed the call button. With his heart hammering in his chest. 

She picked up in the third ring. She had, after all, promised him that she was just one call away, but that was when they were together. She hadn’t backed up from her promise, it seems. 

“Jack?” 

Not J, not anymore, not to her. But maybe he wanted to be reckless and let himself hope.

[somanyideassolittletime]

NAVIGATION

about me -- you can call me R -- 23 -- she/her -- you guys can prolly sense english is not my first language from the way I write, so there's that ig -- proudly SEA.

My Writings:

Jack Abbot

Hints ( 4 times Shen hinted Jack about you, only for you to beat him to it.)

To be loved is to be changed. (3 ways you changed Jack, and one time Jack changed you.)

The car love shop. (Jack Abbot x fem!mechanic!reader)

The love he deserves. (Jack contemplates love, dw dw you're there to convince him that he is loved)

You're gonna live forever in me. (Just angst)

Thinking about Jack Abbot pt.1 pt.2

[somanyideassolittletime]

The love he deserves

Pairing: Jack Abbot x reader

Summary: Jack finds himself unworthy, thank goodness he has you in his life.

Warnings: angst, fluff, jack is self deprecating mode, grammar errors maybe sorry hihi.

The air is suffocating him  —  ironic really, given that he went to the one place where he can find peace and just breathe  —  he finds himself reminding his lungs to breathe, to take in as much air as he can before he forgets.

He doesn’t understand you; why you choose him even after he pulls himself back, why you decided that being with him is worth it, why you still want to be with him.

He loves you, really does. He loves you to the point he thinks he can’t Love you anymore today. But tomorrow, he can promise he’ll Love you more than today.

It all suddenly becomes to real for him, and it scares him for all the right and wrong reasons; he’s scared because even after all this years, he’s Still learning how to love himself.

He remembered a quote from a movie, we accept the love we think we deserve.

But how can he? When he thinks he doesn’t Deserve any love? He’s broken in places that can’t be fixed, and even if it can, he thinks he’s broken in ways that are past fixing.

So when it all becomes to real, he did what he thought was best, he close himself off, shut the doors and throw away the key.

But you see him as he is, you know that underneath that waves of unresolved emotions, and self-deprecating thoughts, lies a good man. A damn good one.

A man that you know you love to the bone.

So when he pulls away, you don’t Chase him. Chasing him will only give truth to his dark thoughts. That he’s a man in need of fixing, And you don’t Want to fix him. You want to love him as he is.

“Thought I might find you here.” Your voice cuts through the thick air, throwing his train of thoughts into the edge of the building, away from his grasp

He takes a deep breath. “Why do you even stay with me?” Eyes still fixed into the dark of the night.

“Because I love you.” You say, not even thinking twice.

He laughs bitterly  —  the kind of laugh that comes after a contemplation from the abyss.

“I’m Not worth it.”

“That’s Insulting, really.” You answer him.

He doesn’t respond, his breathing becoming shallower. So you continue.

“It’s Insulting for you to say that about the man I love.”

He scoffs, not daring to turn to you, afraid his glassy eyes might scare you away.

“Jack,” you call to him softly, moving slightly closer to him, footsteps careful  —  the carefulness one can find when approaching a stray cat.

“Nothing you can say, or do, will make me stop loving you. The only way for me to stop loving you is when you tell me that this is not what you want, that us is not what you want.”

You say that like the words doesn’t Sit heavy in your throat, like it’s been rehearsed over and over again. But it hasn’t, and it’s Easy to say because it’s as plain as the truth.

He braves himself, turning away from the edge, to you. Knuckles turning wide from the way he’s clutching the cold metal railing like a lifeline.

“I don’t Know what I want. I love you, I really do. But I can’t Put you through it.” Through loving me. He would say if he was a tad braver, but he doesn’t Need to, you understand him.

You take a few steps closer to him, now standing at an arm’s length from him.

You tried to look into his eyes, failing as he’s Been looking down at the gravel underneath your shoes.

“Tell me,” your tone doesn’t push him, doesn’t Prod. Just, there. As you always are.

His voice is breathy as he starts, “I want you. But, I don’t Know,” he takes on hand off the railing, rubbing his eyes. “It gets too hard sometimes. Not loving you, no, never. It’s Just, some days my mind gets too ugly, too heavy. And I can’t Put you through that, I can’t put you in a position where you have to pick up after me”

You stand beside him, shoulders centimeters apart, both of you looking at a different sight.

“Tell me everything then, tell me how ugly it is inside there, tell me how heavy is the weight you’re Carrying, tell me everything.”

You take a deep breath, ���but promise me, promise me that you’ll Let me love you anyway.”

His breath hitches, he suddenly feels all the air he’s been deprived of —  like cold water to the face in the middle of the night  —  refreshing yet throbbing all the same.

“I’m not sure how you can love me, I don’t Even love myself,” his confession struck deep in you.

“As easy as breathing for me, Jack. I love you deliberately, y’know? I don’t Love you because you’re There for me, I love you because you’re…you.” You explain to him.

“Let me help you to love yourself. It’s Not gonna be instant, I know. But in the meantime, I got enough love for you for the both of us.”

He’s swallowing a lump in his throat, reminding himself that he’s loved, he’s okay.

You step back, hands reached out front as an offering to him, “c’mere,”

He ducks under the railing, now standing in front of you, caging you in his arms, his face on your neck, breathing heavily.

“I’m Sorry,” he says, “maybe in another lifetime i’m Not as broken” he’s holding back a sob now.

You squeezed him even harder, “I love you fully. I don’t love you only at the highs, Jack. I love you in every phase you went through, just know that I’ll Always be there for you,”

You lean back slightly, training your eyes on his glassy one, a drop of tear he’s fighting away. You put your hands on his cheek, caressing it softly, “I love all of you, okay? You don’t have to be strong for me,”

He nods against your palms, trying to smile at you. You smile back at him, already missing that look on his face the whole day.

You tiptoe to give him a kiss  —  one that showed him everything you wanted to say but never finding the right words, emotions that runs so deeply you’re not sure the word has been invented yet . He kisses you back , soft, slow, hesitant at first, but every words he isn’t able to convey shows.

Pulling away, he gazes into your eyes, muttering, “thank you for loving me.” You smile at him fondly, “thank you for letting me.”

To love someone is something. But to love and be loved  —  that is everything.

[somanyideassolittletime]

Could you please do something with an English reader I feel like having a new doctor from England could be so cool with asking questions about the different healthcare systems. Sorry if your requests are closed lmao

Aghhh that's such a great idea, though i'm not form england so I'll probably botch everything :((( but maybe when I understand diff healthcare systems I'll try hihi

[somanyideassolittletime]

I'm trying so hard to tie Jack to the world of mech engineering since I'm a mech eng major BUT ITS SO HARD TO THINK

[somanyideassolittletime]

the car love shop.

Pairing: Jack Abbot x fem!mechanic!reader

Summary: Jack's truck is overdue for an oil change. what the hell? the owner's pretty???

warnings: language, meet cute, Jack is crushing hard, reader owns a car shop, some grammar inaccuracy me thinks. lmk if i missed anything.

The shop is unfamiliar for Jack – it’s too clean for a mechanic shop in his mind, it lacks chaos he usually finds in his usual shop. But the owner of his old shop passed away, and his children decided to sell it, so he lacks one trustworthy shop for his truck in this city. He was here for an oil filter change, he would’ve done it himself in his younger years, but his prosthetic is a reminder for him to just trust this kind of thing to the pro. 

He enters the shop, looking around. It smells faintly of gasoline, oil, and fumes from welding, he supposed. The floor is not as greasy as he liked for a shop, but the more he looks around the more he finds comfort in the organized mess the shop seems to have. 

A man approaches him, wiping his hands on his pants. “Hey doc, can I help you?” Jack must’ve looked puzzled ‘cause he can’t remember ever seeing this man before in his life. The man laughs, motioning to Jack’s get up. Ah, right. Scrubs.  

“Uh, yeah, I need an oil filter change.” he points his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to his truck parked in front. The man whistles, “yeah, but you gotta leave it here. My hand’s full right now.” he says motioning around the shop, two cars inside, one on the car lift, one with its machine on the table. 

“C’mon, just a quick filter change, man?” Jack tries to persuade him. He shakes his head, “I’m elbow deep in an overhaul, man, and some dude dropped off a fuckin cracked block. But you go to the boss, She’ll help you, probably.” he says walking over to the car he’s currently working on. 

“The boss?” Jack asks, the man nods, “yeah, just the office back there.” he motions to the door behind the car lift, with torque wrenches in his hand. 

He walks over to said door, knocking twice. “Come in,” he opens the door. And his breath caught in his throat, fuck. He’s accustomed to meeting a lot of attractive people everyday on the job, but you? You might be the most beautiful thing he has seen. He seems to have stopped in his tracks, hand still on the door handle because you smile, “you know, you can enter, right?” you say, with a playful lilt to your voice. Because damn, that is one fine specimen of men knocking on your door. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, your guy told me to come here,” he says nervously – now feeling stupid like a kid with a crush. He enters the room, standing stiffly now, looking around; there’s a photo of you with two guys, one who greets him earlier, the other one he guesses the guy in the other car. Your desk is a cluttered mess, with a laptop in the center, landline on your left, and a few books he wouldn’t have guessed to find in a car shop. 

You nod at him, “I’m not sick y’know.” you joke at him. The joke doesn’t land on him though, he’s still trying to slow down his beating heart – not that you know – so you chuckle, “I'm kidding doc, what is it?” 

He shakes his head, smiling nervously. “Uh, yeah, I need an oil filter change. Your guy said you can help me, they told me to talk to you to help me.” the words don't come as confident as he would’ve liked. 

“Yeah, it’s a mess now. But c’mon, I’ll do it.” you stand up, your office is air conditioned, but Jack could definitely feel the room physically getting hotter by the minute. You walk past him, he could smell the perfume you wear, he starts getting dizzy. 

He follows you out the door, into the shop mindlessly, like he’s in a haze. “dude, how many times do I have to tell you not to leave jack here,” Your voice – saying his name – caught his attention, so he looked at you, who’s talking to the guy earlier, he looks down near your leg, a car jack is placed on the floor. Ah. that jack. He could feel his IQ dropping down the more time he spent in your vicinity. So he walks faster, dodging every tool on the floor, catching up to you. 

Arriving at the front of the shop, where his car was parked earlier, you whistle “damn, he’s handsome” Jack can feel his entire body warms, he knows you’re talking about his car, but he still can’t help himself. 

He wished he would’ve met you anywhere but here, because here, he’s helpless, he can’t feel confident. In the hospital, he could be confident because he’s in control. He’s in his element, but here, he’s standing near the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and he feels lost. 

You kneel down under his car, before standing up again “wait here,” you say to him. He nods. 

You come back not a moment later, kicking a car creeper, holding an oil filter for his truck in one hand – an oil pan in the other. You settle the car creeper beside his car, sitting down on it, before asking him. “What’s your name?” he smiles at the question. “Jack,” now feeling silly saying his name after mistakenly thinking you know his name only to point at a freaking car jack. 

You smirk at him, “well, Jack, thank you for your service.” you lay down on your car creeper before sliding down under his car. His body went stiff, how did you know? He thought. Though he decides to let you work before asking it. 

He watches as you work, though it’s more like watching your shoes since your body is directly under his car. But he can’t seem to tear his gaze away. He can hear your grunts, followed by an unlocking sound, and a liquid pouring. 

You slide back toward him, smiling real wide, still laying down on the creeper, “you have this sort of military guy vibes going on, Jack. That and your leg.” you motion to his way with a socket wrench in hand. He instinctively looks down at his leg, wanting to ask before your voice cuts him to it. “You drag your right foot slightly, so I guess. Tell me, am I right?” your tone holds no malice and he smiles back at you, nodding. 

“Yeah, two out of two.” 

You punch your hand in victory, “see, still got it.” you start, “kid’s been telling me my deducing skill is shit, gotta show them who’s the boss here.” you say, pointing inside the shop, referring to the other guy in the shop. 

“You work at West Penn?” you ask him, Jack shakes his head, now feeling his confidence back. “Nah, PTMC. ED” 

“No shit, I might stop going to west penn now, their doctors aren’t as attractive as the PTMC one” Your tone is bordering flirty, and he digs it. 

He crosses his arms, forearms flexing, your eyes darting to it, so he feels confident now as ever. “You know that you should seek to stop going to the hospital at all, right?” 

You huff, “yeah well, tell that to the two dumbasses inside.” he laughs. “What about you?” 

“Me? Nah, some cuts here and there, but nothing scary.” you explain to him, showing your forearm with a scar from too much tinkering. 

“Good to know, well, if you ever find yourself in need of stitches, you know where to go, but, I work the night shift, just to let you know” he says, smirking. You turn your head to his car, looking to see if the oil has been drained fully before groaning, “ugh, now you telling me to schedule my tinkering injuries at night, uh uh got it doc.” 

He laughs, looking at you sliding back under his car, oil filter in hand. He might just find his favourite car shop in the entire world now. 

The rest of the time you work on his car, both of you talk randomly – you tell him about the history of the shop, and he tells you about some of the weirdest injuries he has tended to – He can’t help but feel like he’s known you for a couple lifetimes, you both seem to be able to talk with a familiarity of a long time friend. 

“How much do I owe you?” he asks you, after you close his car hood. You shrug at him, “eh nothing. It’s my day off today. I’m off the clock so my service is free.” 

He looks at you, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, right. Day off in the shop,” you smile at him, “What, I’m bored at home. I was watching last night's game in my office before you came.” you go to walk away before he catches your elbow in his hand. 

“No really, how much do I owe you.” you looked down at your elbow, feeling warm now. He thinks he’s crossed a line, so he dropped his hand. You look up at him, smiling confidently, “well depends, you wanna go out for a coffee or not?” you crossed your hand before continuing, “ if yes, it’s free, if not, well 60” 

He’s feeling as confident as ever now, so he jabs at you, “you know that's a really bad way to do business, right?” you laugh, he can definitely get used to hearing that he thinks. “Eh, it’s still standing”

“what? You do this to everyone, huh?” he teases. You shake your head. “Nah, just the really special ones.” 

“Soooo, do I get your number too, or…” 

“Depends, you gonna ask me out or just asking for future reparation, cause I can give you company card y’know” 

“That’s TBD” he muses, watching you looking over to your shop, yelling inside “kids, i’m going out now, you guys behave okay” before jogging over to the passenger side of his truck, opening the door. 

“Hey, are we going or nah?” you say before jumping inside his truck. 

He shakes his head grinning, jogging slightly to the driver side. Yeah, I can get used to this. 

[somanyideassolittletime]

To be loved is to be changed.

Pairings: Jack Abbot x Fem!Reader

Summary : 3 ways you changed Jack, and one time Jack changed you.

Warnings: fluff, Jack is in love with his wife, language, grammar inaccuracies (maybe? idk), so much fluff I felt giddy writing this.

Author's note: I love Jack so much, enjoy!

| one

Jack, albeit all of his typical stereotypes people use to box him into, is secretly tech-savvy. It comes with the job, he supposed. Working in a field where technology is always evolving, he learnt to adapt, and he learnt to love it. It started with geeking out when the newest, most updated machine was delivered to the hospital, up to buying himself handheld medical pieces of equipment delivered to your door – he would wait for you at home before unboxing the most recent ‘toys’ he ordered, and he would talk your ears off about how cool and innovative it is. 

You loved it, you loved hearing him talk passionately, you love that even after all this time working in his job, he still finds wonders in it (it doesn’t help that he looked so hot with his forearms flexed, knife in hand, while opening the package).

He understands technology, he does. But he doesn’t get the idea of FaceTime. He wasn’t a big texter himself; nothing beats the good old phone calls, where you can get your point across without fear of miscommunication on both sides. Even when you dated, you never went as far as FaceTime; it was always a phone call with a promise of meeting each other, and now that you are married, sharing his home, he still doesn’t get it.

“Why do you even need to look at their faces when you call? What matters is what you say, y’know, besides, it’s awkward to call someone with your phone far away from your ears,” He once said while holding you tightly in his side, cuddling in his far too comfy leather couch. Both of you watching a movie, where the scene of people facetiming each other just finished. You laughed at him back then, nudging his sides, “Eh, don’t knock it till you try it, hon.” 

What a turn of events now for him, as you were called away across the country for a few guest lectures and seminars for two weeks. Away from Pittsburgh, away from him – that he finds himself thankful for whoever invented the damned thing. He’s sitting on his bed, currently deprived of your presence beside him, when he decides to try out FaceTime. 

 “Hi, handsome,” you pick up on the first ring, he’s greeted with the face he’s been missing for the past few days, smiling at him. He sighs in contentment, he finally gets to see your face. “Hi, sweetheart.” 

He can hear you rustling around, looking for something to prop up your phone before you settle on your water bottle. Your screen is now steady. You grin at him, “Finally getting the whole FaceTime thing now, huh?” 

He huffs, “Don’t wanna get used to it, i’d rather have you here.” he starts, “But yeah, thank god shit’s exist. Been so long since I've seen that face.” 

“I’ve been here four days and you turned grumpy, huh?” You tell him, referring to the text Dana sent you earlier, “Your husband is Mr. Grumpy. Med students scared to approach him all day” 

“What do you mean?” You’re still grinning at him, you’re afraid your cheeks might be too sore to talk to the faculty tomorrow. “Dana texted me, said you were being bad teacher.” 

He groaned, “I’m annoyed at everything, it seems.” he mumbles just loud enough for you to hear him on the other end. He’s holding the phone a little too close to his eyes, he squints to look at you. You noticed it, “Wear your glasses, hon.” He hates wearing his glasses, which you know, but he’s squinting so hard you’re afraid he’s gonna get a headache later on. He’s contemplating debating you, but he knows that you’re right; he’s getting too old to see something so close to his eyes now. 

“Ugh, fine. Wait,” he puts his phone in the bed, now his screen is showing the ceiling of the bedroom you share back home. A few rustling and groans later, you find yourself looking at Jack wearing his glasses. Your breath hitched. The sight of him in his glasses always gets to you, even after all this time. “Looking good, Dr. Abbot,” you joke. He smiles, “You’re Dr. Abbot yourself.” You frowned mockingly. “I was looking at my reflection, y’know.” 

He laughs, and your heart aches to be with him. You missed him as bad as he missed you, it seems. You lift your phone, standing up now, he’s curious, “What are you doing?” You reverse the camera now, showing your room. “I’m doing a room tour. Now shut up and listen to me yap.” 

He gladly obeys, he loves listening to your voice, he watches as you explain everything in your room, from the bathroom, the wardrobe, the bed, all the way to the balcony. His eyes caught something when your camera points at your desk, a familiar bottle of cologne – one he’s been wearing for ten years – so he decides to jab at you. “Is that why I can’t find my cologne in my bag?” You turn the camera facing you, and he’s glad now that he can see your face again. “I miss you. Sue me.” You stick your tongue out at him. How he wishes to wipe that shit eating grin from your face. 

“I’m suing you for that with a lifetime with me,” he says earnestly. You look at him fondly, “Jack Abbot, I didn’t know you get sappier the further we departed.” He puts his phone on the nightstand, angled so that you can still see his face, pulling the comforter up to his chin. 

“I miss you so much, baby,” you blegh at the nickname, phone now back at your desk, “You sounded like a teenager,” he chuckles, he looks at you putting on your glasses, the light from the laptop reflecting in your eyes. “Talk to me,” you say.

So he did, he tells you about the shift he’s had today while you’re typing away at your laptop, looking at him every once in a while. He tells you about the boy who went berserk, hands flailing around, making Langdon drop the scalpel in his hand, dropping it to his prosthetic feet, panicking the entire trauma room, only for him to be unfazed. You laugh fondly at him, eyes twinkling with the same mesmerization you only hold for him (and for a crazy innovation that you find interesting). 

He’s holding his yawn, but you know better. His eyes are glassy now. “Go to sleep. It’s late,” you say, he obeys you, taking off his glasses, relaxing into his pillow. “Don’t turn it off,” he says softly, eyes fluttering. You shake your head, “I’ll turn it off when you snore,” he huffs, “what? You snore.” you start, “But I need to hear you snore to sleep nowadays.” you explain. 

His eyes are half-closed now, and he finds himself relaxed, hearing your breaths on the other side, keys clacking softly. “I love you,” he whispers to you. You stopped your typing, now looking at his eyes fully closed, “I love you too, goodnight, hon.” 

For the next 7 days, he finds himself loving FaceTime, finds himself looking forward to FaceTime with you every night before he sleeps, and like other technology he once frowned at, he finally gets it. 

| two

Jack is not a man of pop culture, he never understands the appeal of it. He rarely watches movies by himself, let alone pop culture movies or series. But you loved it to no end, you often ask him to watch those movies with you, ranging from sci-fi, fantasy, to superhero movies, whatever you want to watch, he’ll gladly oblige. He’ll pretend to be uninterested in your series whenever you watch it alone with him moving around the house. But you always find him standing behind the couch, watching the show intently, before finding him beside you, starting to give commentary on what's happening on the screen. And slowly, he finds himself enjoying watching those movies and series with you. 

He loves watching you explain to him about the complexity of a character you like, loves hearing you badmouth a character you hate, and when you both find yourself watching sci-fi movies with futuristic technologies, he finds himself falling a little harder, hearing you explain to him the concept of the technology in said movies. “I don’t understand a single word you just said. Is this what you feel when I explain procedures to you?” he once asked you. You nodded, “Yeah, pretty much, but you’re hot when you’re explaining it. So I love it,” you said to him. And he agreed with you on that one. 

Jack was covering the night shift tonight, it’s Halloween night, so he’ll find himself drowning in patients in costumes, no doubt. You had dropped him off earlier with a kiss on his cheek and a promise to pick him up later in the morning.  

He’s talking to a ten-year-old kid in a yellow uniform, one he recognized as a Star Trek uniform when Ellis enters the room, “I got this, Abbot. You go ahead,” she says to Jack. Jack nods at her before saying, “You’re in good hands, kiddo.” Ellis looks at the boy in the bed, saying, “Well, what do we got here, Mr.Spock?” The kid was about to protest when Jack reactively says, “He’s Captain Kirk,” Earning a look from Ellis. He fistbumps the kid and leaves the room, fully trusting Ellis. 

The rest of the shift is pretty slow, filled with kids getting food poisoning from the candy being given away, typical drunks, and some OD patients from parties. It was now one hour left in the shift, everyone was either hanging by the hub or just doing a frequent check for their patients. He was charting when Shen and Ellis approached him.

“Hey, Abbot. How’s the stormtrooper guy?” Shen asks him. He’s currently scanning through his memory, not finding a single stormtrooper costume in his recollection of the night. “We haven’t got a stormtrooper,” He frowns at Shen. Shen points his fingers over Jack’s shoulder, he turns his head – now looking at a man in a Mandalorian get-up, his helmet on the chair beside the bed – he turns back to Shen, “That’s a fucking Mandalorian, good to go in a few hour, ” Shen doesn’t say anything, opting to look at Ellis beside him. Who, for the second time that night, gave him a weird look. He’s been doing medical procedures that might be crazy ballsy for some, but never once he received that look from either Ellis or Shen until tonight. 

“Okay, you know what, what the hell?” Ellis starts, “You corrected me earlier cause of a fuckin costume, and now, what the hell, man?” Jack shrugs, “What?” Shen points his finger at Jack, his voice accusatory, “Dude, you only ever turn your TV on for penguins games, now you tellin me you know fuckin sci-fi shit, now.?” Jack looks at him, “Wrong, I turn on my TV for the Steelers and Pirates too,” he says casually. 

“Ugh, you know what we meant. Since when do you even watch that stuff?” Ellis says exasperatedly. Jack crossed his arms, shrugging, “My wife likes that stuff.” He says that so casually that Shen and Ellis might combust at his tone. 

Shen laughs at him, “Holy shit, you’re whipped.” Jack smirks, “Yeah, I wouldn’t get married if I weren’t.” his hands find the ring in his necklace now. Fully smiling at Shen and Ellis, both of whom groan at him. “Ughhh, please be a simp somewhere else, not here.” Shen rolls his eyes. 

Shen and Ellis walked away from him before he muttered, “God forbid a man is in love,” smiling to himself with the thought of you in his mind. 

So slowly but surely, he understands the appeal now that he can see how your eyes lit up every time he referenced something. And like any other form of entertainment, he once cringed at, he finds himself enjoying and looking forward to the next time he has you curled up beside him, whispering theories he doesn’t get. Anything that makes you happy, it seems, makes him happy. 

| three

Jack is a man of many talents, but not of many coffee orders. He takes his coffee as plain as possible. Black, no sugar. He never ordered his coffee sweet, not before he met you at least. For him, coffee should be something simple, he doesn’t need extra flavor in his coffee, he just needs it to fuel him through the day. 

But you? You take your coffee as abstractly as possible. Though you do enjoy a plain black coffee once in a while, once the occasion calls for it, you actually prefer some flavor and sweetness in your coffee. 

“black , no sugar, please. What about you hon,” he asked you, ordering for himself to barista; he never ordered for you since he knew he would botch the task. “Uh, let me think. I ordered the almond latte yesterday. I think I’ll go with hazelnut today, please. Thank you,” you answered to the barista, who punched in some buttons. Jack tapped his card to pay before moving over to wait for your order. 

“Here, try this. You’ll like it.” you said to him. He shakes his head, refusing to take a sip. “Just try it, I swear” he takes the coffee in his hand, sipping on it. Fuck. that’s good. He thought. He bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a smile, not wanting to give you the victory. You pointed at him victoriously, “aha! You like it don’t you.” he shrugged, giving you back your coffee. “Eh, black’s still better.” though you know that he actually enjoys it. 

But now that it’s been a while since the two of you went on cafe dates, he finds himself missing your random coffee order. So when the opportunity comes for him to drink your coffee order, he’ll take it. 

“Hey, I’m ordering coffee, your usual?” Robby asks him, typing in his notes app to list everyone’s coffee order. Jack thinks for a second before answering him, “I’ll have a vanilla latte,” earning a raised eyebrow from Robby, who types it down without question before moving over to the others. Making a mental note to ask him later on. 

It was a while later when the order came in, and everyone stopped by the break room to take their coffee. Jack is greeted by Langdon and Robby inside, both holding their coffee. Langdon doesn’t even think before handing him a black coffee, one that Jack doesn’t take. “It’s not mine,” he says, walking over to the table, reading the labels in each cup before settling on his order. 

He holds it in a way that the label is visible to Langdon, who looks at him weirdly, “a Latte? Really? Vanilla latte?” Langdon asks him. Jack sips on his coffee before entertaining Langdon, “What? It’s good,” he answers. Langdon, who looks at Robby as if saying, dude, you seeing what I’m seeing???. Robby teases him, “Yeah, I don’t think that cuts it, brother.” 

Jack huffs, sipping some more, “Fine. My wife takes her coffee like this.” he wants to look annoyed, but he can’t bear himself to do it; not when he just drank your coffee order, being reminded of you seems to have that effect on him. 

“I’m a married man myself, but I never even order my coffee her way, man.” Langdon laughs at him. Robby smiles at him, putting his hand on Langdon’s shoulder, slightly leaning toward him. “I believe we are seeing Jack in love. What is it? To be loved is to be changed?” says Robby to Langdon’s who laughed at Jack. 

Jack wants to retort something smart as usual, but somehow, he doesn’t want to. So he opted to just smile at both of them before taking his coffee outside the break room. 

Because yeah, he might realize himself that his preference is changing, but what Robby said earlier was right, that he’s in love and that he’s loved – and he wouldn’t change that for the world. 

But the next time the two of you went on your cafe dates, he would still order his usual, not because he wanted it, he ordered it because for him, nothing beats the mischievous smile you gave him after asking him to try your coffee. (and it doesn’t help that he liked seeing your lip product mark on his cup after you drink his coffee, and that both of you just did an indirect kiss) Though that was a thought he’ll keep to himself forever. 

+1

“How do I look?” you walk into the living room, twirling your body to Jack, who is sitting on the leather couch, now looking at you. You were sporting a Penguins jersey with a big 87 on the back, CROSBY above it. You were offered a sideline ticket to the Penguins game by your friend, which you excitedly accepted. So here you are, getting ready for the game with the Penguins heartbreaker’s Jersey on you. 

Jack smiles at you. “Well, you look like you’re drowning in it, Mrs. Crosby,” he says coyly. You frown at him, walking over to him, “Jack, as much as I love Sid, I actually prefer being Mrs. Abbot,” you say to him, leaning down to give his lips a peck.

Jack puts his hand on your waist, capturing your lips on his. Pulling back, Jack let out a breathy chuckle, “Yeah? Say that after you see him, hon. You know I’m straight, but he’s hot as hell,” he jested. You laugh at his confession, about to say something when you hear a honk in the driveway. Jack walks you over to the door, opening it for you.

Jack pecks your lips once again before saying, “Stay safe, okay? I love you.” You smile, kissing his cheek, “I will. Love you too.”

It’s almost midnight when you come home, and the Penguins won, so it was a victorious night out in your books. You open the door slowly, not wanting to disturb Jack, who should be sleeping by now. You can hear the TV still turned on in the living room, so you decide to check it out.  

Jack was sprawled over the couch, the light from the TV illuminating his figure, his prosthetic placed by the table, as much as you want to move him to the bed because you know that his back would scream at him tomorrow if he spends as much as an extra hour on the couch, he looked so cozy you can’t help yourself, so you lay down on the couch, joining him. 

Your movement startles him at first, but upon seeing that it’s you, he relaxes, “Hey,” he whispers into your ear. “It was fun, wished it was with you though,” you confess to him. His arms now caging you, drawing soft circles on your back. It was quiet before you started.

“Jack,” you whisper softly, he hums, acknowledging you. You continue, “I think you broke me.” Jack stops his hand, pulling his head just enough to look you in the eyes. “What do you mean?” you snuggle further into his chest before saying, “I don’t find Sid attractive anymore.” 

“Huh?” Jack asks, You sit up, placing your hand on his stomach. “Imagine, I was that close with him, I could practically see his pores, Jack.-” You put your hand in front of you, in an attempt to emphasize just how close you are to The Sidney Crosby earlier. “But all I can think about is eh, he’s okay. Jack’s way more attractive.” Jack’s entire body warms at hearing your confession. 

He’s about to comment before you put your hand that was previously on his stomach to his mouth, not allowing him to speak, “No, you don’t get it. It's THE SIDNEY CROSBY, Jack. You know how much I love him, right?” he nods against your hand, now smiling as wide as ever. You lift your hand from his mouth, continuing your explanation. “I was supposed to be entranced by him, Jack. But I kept on thinking that he had nothing against you.” 

“You’re putting me on a damn high pedestal now, hon,” he says jokingly, though his eyes shows nothing but adoration looking at you. 

You lie back on the couch again, cuddling him. “Nah. I think I just love you too much that I find any other guy to just be….mid.” 

He chuckles, resuming his hand motion on your back. “I love you too, so much.” You don’t say anything after that, you're both snuggling, the TV playing softly as background noise – the intimacy of this moment has nothing against anything else. 

You both stayed that way for a while until you mentioned to him that you needed to move before you both fell asleep on the couch, so you walked over to the bedroom, Jack behind you, searching for the remote to turn it off, seeing the highlight of the day on the screen, with crosby’s goal earlier. He smirks proudly at the TV, remembering your earlier admission. 

Sid 0 - 1 Jack. 

[somanyideassolittletime]

Wdym that’s your first fic you’ve ever posted!! Omg it was one of my faves I’ve ever read, huge fan 🤩

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCHHH, that means a lot to me 🫶🫶🫶 but yeah, it's pretty much my first fic I've ever written since usually the characters I've read for already has massive fics with tons of tropes so i never has the itch to write and Abbot changed that for me hahah.

[somanyideassolittletime]

nobody ever told me that posting your first fic is crazy scary. I'm literally shaking after posting my first fic because what the hell???? what if it sucks (not that i would stop, it is after all my attempt in enjoying life), what if I sounded stupid?????? AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[somanyideassolittletime]

Hints.

Pairings: Jack Abbot x Fem!Attending!Reader

Summary : 4 Times Shen Hinted to Jack about you, only for you to beat him to it .

Warnings: fluff, Jack is yearning hard, slow-ish burn, language, grammar inaccuracies (maybe? idk), Shen being a lil shit. Not beta read. 

Author’s note: this is my first time writing a fic, sooooo might be shitty, but I can’t stop thinking of this trope so I decided to take matters into my own hands. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack has always noticed you. He notices that you always spend just a little bit more time with peds patients, he notices that you always indulge in small talks from your coworkers, he notices which nurses you are closest with, he notices almost everything about you.

He was well aware of how close you and Shen are—from seeing both of you for the first time ever, seeing the two of you whispering, thinking “these two are either way too stupid or just way too capable,” which he later proved was indeed the latter. Both you and Shen have the honor of being nicknamed ‘dumb and dumber’ due to how much you bicker with each other. It came with the territory of being best friends since med school. 

He was glad to have you both under his guidance; the two of you seemed to be able to work autonomously, and his weight has been lighter ever since ‘dumb and dumber’ started working with him. 

He knows that you always carpool with him every time you both are on the same schedule, knows that you are the one who introduced Shen to his current girlfriend, and knows that you and Shen tell each other about everything. He also knows that the care you two have for each other is nothing more than a sibling bond.

What Jack doesn't notice about you? How much you are actually in love with him.

What Jack doesn't know? Shen is so tired of seeing both of you pining for each other.

Both of you always held the same admiration for each other, and the caring nature you both have somehow multiplied when either one of you is on the receiving end of said nature. But Jack, being Jack, brushed it off as you being in your usual caring nature. Which was true, to some extent, you have always been caring for others. And you, being you, always brushed it off as Jack being a good senior. 

For others, though, it was as plain as day that you both are in love with each other, and since Shen was basically your body double, he often gets asked about the two of you which pisses him off to no end. 

(‘You can’t put a bet when you know what’s going on,’ Perlah once argued with him. Earning a nod of approval from others. 

‘I know nothing, all I know is that she’s got a big crush on someone. I don’t even know if it’s Abbot,” Shen reasons. 

‘The moment she tells you anything, anything at all, you be a man and back off from this.’ Princess points at him. 

‘Yeah, yeah, you guys know I’m a good sport.’ )

| one

After finishing up a GSW case on a police officer, Jack walked out of the room, eyes scanning for you—a habit he realized he's been doing way too much of. 

When his eyes found your figure, he watched as you were talking to an officer, friends of the patient he just finished up on, no doubt.

Now he knew that you had been asked out many times before this, but he had only heard it in passing, on gossip, on jokes that usually involve you cutting in with a laugh and a mocking tone of “yeah right as if”. Now that he has had the chance to see it in action, he doesn't know how to feel.

The officer you were talking to was smiling, with his hands on his vest, a straight posture, and chest slightly puffed. He could easily pass as the poster boy of the force, like he just came out of a police TV show you and Shen liked so much. He knew it because he once overheard you and Shen talking about it, and he arrived home, searched all of his subscriptions to watch one of the episodes. 

He tried to tear his gaze away. Really tried. But he couldn't, he was curious about what that boy could possibly be talking about with you.

Even from afar, without hearing what you two were talking about, he can confirm that the officer was definitely asking you out, with how much machismo he's exuding while offering his name card.

But he knows you better, he can see that you look awkward, like you just indulge him in a conversation out of respect and common courtesy, not out of interest.

Deciding that he could not see another minute of this, he decided to approach you but not even a step later that Shen stepped beside him and snorted.

“Jesus, she could probably make a yellow page by now if she doesn't throw those cards away.”

“What?”

“He's too young for her. She's too smart for him.” He commented as if it were obvious.

“He probably is the same age as you, man, and he seems…nice,” Jack argued, though he did find a slight comfort in Shen’s comment.

“Trust me. The moment he stepped away, she’ll throw that card.”

“And how are you so sure?”

“You.” He said it casually.

“What?” He croaked out.

Shen sighed, patted his shoulder, and walked away from him.

wanting to search for some truth in Shen’s words, he stayed in his spot, still looking at you.

True to Shen’s word, the moment the officer stepped away far enough from you, you walked over to the nearest trash bin and smoothly threw the card away.

He's not sure what he's supposed to be feeling now. Happy that you declined that guy's offer? Or sad that you didn't get a good night out with a guy that seemed nice.

But somehow his mind kept repeating what Shen told him. Looking for any reason—one that didn't give him any hope.

He must've zoned out for a while because you suddenly appeared in front of him, “Jack. Hey. Are you good?” Waving your hand in front of his face.

He's gotten you to call him Jack when it's just the two of you. Courtesy to one time you were looking for him on the rooftop, and you jokingly said, “Do I get to call you Jack now that I just walked an ungodly amount of stairs just to search you? Because I really just used the stairs.” Upon hearing his name uttered by you, he said yes, to please call him Jack.

He shook his head and searched for your eyes. “Yeah. No, I'm good. He seemed nice,” he pointed his chin towards the officer from earlier. Now standing in the ambulance bay, looking at his phone.

“Not my type,” you replied with ease. Because it was the truth, you never wanted to put anyone you decided to go on a date with, only for you to spend the entire time wishing it was Jack. 

“You never seem to be hit on by your type, huh?” He commented. Because that’s what’s been bothering him, why is it that you never even got interested in the slightest with anyone who came across interested with you? 

You smirked at that. “What would you know about my type now?”

“What is it then?”

Before you could reply, your name got called away, and you stepped away from him before saying, “Just wait and see, Dr. Abbot.”

| two

It was unusually cold tonight in the ER, and the city was raining for the entire day. Hell, the weather even got everyone who always swore by iced coffee switching it up to hot ones now.

Jack was glad for the weather, it meant that fewer people would come to the ER unless it was something like life-threatening injuries or one requiring immediate treatment.

A small part of him deep down also likes nights like this because it usually meant he got to spend more small moments with you. Not that he would ever admit it out loud sober.

Tonight, it seems fate has a different plan. It's been two hours into the shift, and he hasn't even said hi to you. He noticed that you keep moving around, busying yourself with everything.

Jack was charting on his station, looking up once in a while, looking at you talking to patients, when Shen approached him. Seeing this as his moment to ask about you, he cut to the chase.

“What's going on with her?” He nodded to your figure.

“Was gonna talk to you about it.”

Hearing that, Jack straightened up and looked at Shen, urging him to continue.

“This cold bothers you?” Shen started.

“You came to me to ask ‘bout the fuckin weather?”

“2 hours no contact and it’s grumpy Abbot today, huh?”

“No. And no.” He answered, not liking what Shen was trying to insinuate at him.

“You got a jacket lying around?”

“In my locker. What for?”

“She won't admit it, but she's cold as hell. Been moving around like she got the fuckin zoomies to manage it” he explained.

“Where's her jacket?” Jack asked, since he knew you always brought your jacket every day.

“We ran late today. Was gonna give me my jacket, but why should I when you're here,”

“What do you mean?” Jack knew what he meant, but he'd have to be held at gunpoint to admit it.

“Jacket. Give. To. Her. Okay?.” Shen mockingly said, emphasizing every word he said, miming an act of giving a Jacket and pointing to your figure. 

“Yeah, okay.” He mutters under his breath just loud enough.

Before he left his station, he called for Shen again.

“Thanks for telling me.”

Shen laughed at him and waved his hand dismissively.

Jack decided to walk over to you and intervene before you even move to another bed again.

“Come with me.” He touched your exposed elbow to gain your attention, now finally close enough to see goosebumps from the cold.

“Okay. Yeah.” You nodded at him

He leads both of you to the lockers, you following him on his side.

He stopped in front of his locker, pressing his code on the keypad, and opened the door.

You were dead curious about what stuff he had in his locker, that you forgot to ask yourself why he brought you here. So you tiptoed to get a good look inside his locker over his shoulder.

Realizing this, Jack chuckled and stepped away from his locker and let you get a good look inside. “Hope you're not expecting anything.”

His locker is filled with things you could expect: a toiletries pouch, a black t-shirt, a cargo, and a jacket. All neatly placed inside. Seeing that you already got a good look inside, he reached over his locker, extended his arm in front of you, and snatched his jacket.

You looked at him curiously, wondering where this going, why is Jack bringing you here, is he just flaunting that he got a jacket??

He handed his jacket over to you. “Wear it. Before you replaced the Iceman in X-Men” you smiled at his reference and took his jacket in your hand, softly saying thanks out of habit to him, undoing the zipper.

“You finally watched it?” You said as you started to put your arms in the sleeves.

“I liked cyclops,” he shrugged, taking in your figure in his jacket. The jacket fit perfectly. Like it was meant to be worn by you only. His stomach churned because that Jacket was, in all seriousness, his favorite jacket, and seeing you in it might just made his entire day. 

“’ Course you liked the simp,” you commented, receiving a ‘hey’ from him.

You snuggled into his jacket and frowned. “Smells like Tide Pods”

“You know I do wash my clothes, right?”

“You got your cologne there?” You asked him, pointing at his locker with your chin.

“That pouch,” he nodded and pointed at his toiletries pouch.

He was going to ask a follow-up question when you reached inside his locker and took out his pouch, unzipped it, and rummaged through it. So he decided that watching you was better than asking you.

You seemed to have found his cologne when you pushed the pouch into his hand, urging him to hold on to it, and sprayed his cologne on his jacket.

Thank god I wasn't lured by those apple watches. Would've given me notifications on irregular heartbeat by now.

You took the pouch, put his cologne inside, zipped it, put it back inside his locker, and rubbed your nose on the jacket to smell it again.

Jack couldn't form a proper sentence—the best he can do is croak out a “why?”

You shrugged as if it was no big deal—it was, you were just good at schooling your expressions.

“You smelled nice. I don't want to wear your jacket if it doesn't smell like you.”

Fuck

“5578? You should've closed your hand over the keypad before punching it in. Now I’m gonna steal your cologne when you're not looking,” you thought that your earlier statement was too bold. So you tried to change the topic.

“Be my guest.” He challenged.

You walked past him, saying, “I will, Jack, I will,” and muttered a thank you once again, but fell on deaf ears as his tactile, visual, and olfactory senses were overwhelmed by you in his jacket, smelling like him, patting at his shoulder.

| three

Jack arrived in ED 15 minutes before his shift change that night. He did the usual— putting his bag down, greeting Dana, and asking her where he could find Robby. Dana answered that he was in the break room, with Shen last time she saw Robby.

He entered the room, finding eye contact with Robby, who was sitting at the table with Shen, eating donuts. Both of them muffled a ‘hey’ to him, pushing the leftover donut in the box to him.

He muttered a ‘no thanks’ and went to the coffee machine to nurse himself a glass before perching himself on the edge of the counter.

Shen spoke up first. “It's her day off”.

Jack, who was sipping on his coffee, stopped mid-motion and searched for Robby’s eyes, who, as it turns out, is smiling smugly at him.

“So?” He replied coyly.

“Just a heads up, though I don’t recall John saying a name,” Robby replied.

Shen muttered something under his breath—just enough to be heard. “He's gonna be insufferable tonight.”

Robby laughed, “Best of luck to you, John.”

“Aren’t you two sweet now?” Jack grumbled to nobody in the room. 

Deciding that it was time to torture Jack further, Robby asked Shen in a tone Jack knew all too well. “How’s your girl?”

Shen smiled at him, even from behind, Jack could see him breathing out a sigh of contentment every time someone brought his girl up. 

“She’s doing great, kept asking me to find Y/n a guy so we can double date, I mean it’s not even my problem, whoever she’s got her eyes on doesn’t have the balls. She got me a girl for God's sake, why can’t she find herself a guy?” He shrugged and twisted his head to look at Jack. “Abbot, you gonna eat this or can I claim it?”.

Jack hated where this conversation was going – not that he was actively joining, he was already mulling over the idea of surviving this shift without having something to look forward to. Though he couldn’t ignore the pang of fear when Shen looked over at him, he felt like a kid getting caught stealing by their parents at that moment. 

“Go ahead,” hearing thi,s Shen muttered a ‘nice’ and reached over, taking another donut which was probably rationed for Jack. 

He was munching on his donut when he started again, eyes looking back at Robby. “You know I asked her out after 3 months liking her, one hint from Y/n and I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Thank god she was right.” 

“3 months? Didn’t peg you for someone to wait that long.” Robby mused back. 

“Exactly, man, I was miserable for three months. Can’t imagine pining for someone for 4 years and not making a move. Owe it to y/n though, if she didn’t make that hint, I would’ve been still single and miserable.” Shen was fucking with him. He was sure of it. Because he realized it long time ago that Shen has been hinting at him about you. From always giving a heads up on where you are, to giving hints about you that he didn’t ask for himself. And he was glad, in a sense, he could know more about you, but now that Shen has sussed him out that he is indeed screwed over, he kept on hinting to him. 

And Robby? He laughed, knowing where this was headed. He looked over to Jack, who stood still, perched on the edge, unmoving, pretending to enjoy his cup of coffee – but he knew Jack, Jack was listening intently to Shen, and that the coffee was not so good that you could enjoy it. So he decided to join in more. 

“Hey, maybe some guys just like playing the long game.” 

“Yeah, way too long of a game, more like. What if the girl’s starting to lose hope and decides that you’re not worth it anymore, huh?” Shen was so fed up with whatever is going on with Jack and you that he was dropping hints like flies.

The thing was, you never explicitly told him who it was, but Shen knew you too well – he knew what your type was, knew when you were serious about someone you’d dated or not, and he knew that a certain Jack Abbot was checking every box in your mental list. 

Shen was reminiscing about a certain memory now, both of you were 4 years younger, fresh out of med school, stepping for the very first time on this exact floor. He remembered you talking his ear off in the car, worrying about your attending. Scared that your attending will be a close-minded drill sergeant. Your words, not his. 

He remembered the two of you introducing yourselves to Robby and hearing happy squeals from you because “thank god he's nice,” only for Robby to say that he is not your attending. But when the two of you finally got introduced to your attending, Shen elbows you and leaned over, whispering “oh you’re definitely fucked now, Wishing on that drill sergeant now huh”. He would’ve continued teasing you if it weren’t for Abbot’s “you two hear me now, kid?” cutting the joke train he’s been holding on forever. 

“Well, I'm going to pee now.” He said, pushing his chair while standing up from the chair. He turned his back, pointing at Jack with his finger. “Hope that didn’t go over your head.” he walked away, leaving two men – one smirking his ass off and one suddenly interested in contemplating his life choices. 

Robby was going to say something when Jack cut him off. “What the hell did you say to Shen man?” He was irritated now. Robby lifts his hands in a mock surrender at him. 

“Didn’t say anything, man. You do realize that your girl’s close with him, right?” he tried to reason. 

“I only confide in you man, now Shen’s as bad as you in fuckin with me over it” 

“Well, if it's any consolation, maybe she talked to Shen about you?” Robby was trying to get his point across now. “And listen to Shen, he just told you that she’s starting to believe that you don’t feel the same.” 

“How do you even know that she’s talking about me, huh?” 

“Jack, as much as I love you brother, I gotta say this, you’re fucking stupid in this case for your own good.” Robby stands up, walking closer to Jack, pointing his finger at his shoulder, and says, “Just tell her. For everyone’s sake here, okay?” and that big betting money I put on you to say it to her first. Robby would’ve said. 

He left the room, leaving Jack still perched as the last 5 minutes, unmoving, and deep in thought. 

| four

Jack was on his way to see the improvement of the kid currently held in Trauma 2 when his stride was stopped by Jeremy, the new intern. “Hey, Dr. Abbot, can I have a minute?”

“Yeah, what is it?” he said curtly. 

“Got multiple lacerations and a fracture. I was supposed to be with Dr. Ellis, but she is currently overseeing other patients, so if you can assist me, maybe. If you got a minute, of course.” Jeremy, like any other person who worked under Jack for the first time, is always timid every time he talks to him. Something Jack is not proud of, actually, he’s a gruff man, sure, but scary? One conversation with him and everyone would realize that he is a yapper himself. 

“I gotta go check the drowning case earlier for a sec, you can ask Dr. L/n or Dr. Shen, I saw them charting earlier,” he explained to him. 

Jeremy nods, “Oh okay, I’ll ask one of them. Thank you, Dr. Abbot.” Before he can move, however, Shen walks over to Jack and asks him about the seizing patient he was assigned to. Jack sighs, looks over to Jeremy, and says, “Guess Dr. L/n is with you,” before he walks with Shen to Trauma 1. 

After a few trips in between cases with Shen, Jack finds himself and Shen in front of the nurse's station, telling Bridget that some of the beds are okay to be discharged when Shen asks. “Hey, Bridget, who’s in South 12?”. Jack steps a few steps backwards to search the board, his eyes scanning over it. 

South 10

South 11

South 12, - multiple lacerations, fracture. 

“Y/n is. With the new kid.” Jack answered him. “Holy shit.” realizing that Jack and Bridget are looking at him waiting he continues “sorry, it’s just I know the guy, Aaron, he’s her ex.” 

“Damn, he’s cute,” Bridget says pointedly. Though she was telling the truth, she also wanted to see how Jack would react. 

Jack felt weird in his stomach. For the first time in forever, he felt green. Like something was eating him alive. he was your man for some times in your life. He gets to spend mornings with you. He got to date you. He gets to call you- his thought was cut off by Shen saying that he’s going to go over there to say hi. 

“Between you and me, that kid got no chance of ever getting her back,” Bridget says. Jack huffs and says that he’s going to go see who can move to free up some beds, looking more sour as the second passes. 

Jack promised himself that he wouldn’t care about what’s going on behind the South 12 curtain, but somehow his feet have a mind of their own because now, he finds himself in South 11, not necessarily doing anything, and he was suddenly interested in the sleeping form of the patient occupying the bed though his ears were trained on the next curtain. 

“Okay, you’re done for now. Just gotta wait for ortho to be cleared so you can go upstairs,” he hears your voice, characteristically soft. Followed by Jeremy’s voice saying goodbye, and a curtain being opened. 

“Thanks, seriously, didn’t know you both worked here,” he hears an unfamiliar voice. 

“No problem, man. Thanks for letting that kid work on you.” Shen replied then with a familiarity. 

“Nah, with y/n watching him like a hawk, I’ll trust him with my life.” Aaron, albeit high from the pain meds registered to him still talked with a lilt to his voice.

Realizing that you’re done with Aaron, you excused yourself, “Well, I’m going now. Shen, you wanna-” your voice was cut off by Aaron’s hand shooting up, catching your wrist, “Actually, can we talk for a bit?” 

Jack clenched his jaw, he didn’t like where this was going. 

“Ookay, I’ll leave you both to it,” Shen speaks up, opening the curtain. Earning a glare from you. 

“What is it now?” you start, your eyes darting everywhere, only to find Jack’s familiar boots in the next bed, giving you comfort you didn’t know you needed. 

“I’m sorry, okay? All these years, I kept on wondering where we went wrong.” You sigh, “Aaron, what went wrong was… everything, and between you and me, parting ways was the best. We've got to focus on ourselves, and it worked. Besides, we were young back then, we didn’t know any better.” 

“You could’ve replied to my texts. You owe me that, at least.” 

“Last I recall, we have nothing going on anymore-” Aaron cuts you to it. “You’ve found someone. That’s why you’ve been ignoring my texts, why you can pretend that what we had back then was nothing.” 

“Being together was a mistake, Aar, we both know that.” You try to reason with him. Not wanting to give his opinion as an answer, because honestly, you didn’t even know whether you had a chance with the man who has your heart or not.

Jack realized that he wasn’t supposed to hear any further, he felt like shit now that he’s heard something very personal. So he decided to leave. 

You look at Jack’s boot leaving and suddenly feel less comfortable now that you are alone with your ex. 

Jack finds himself in the ambulance bay, his feelings brewing in his stomach as firm as ever. He was feeling everything all at once now – guilt, jealousy, and most prominently, yearning. 

“He made a mistake, a big one, she’s been holding off dating because she knows no one is ever gonna replace you, sure as hell not gonna come back to him.” He doesn’t realize that Shen was behind him until his words sink in. 

“I don’t even know what to say to her, how are you even so sure that she feels what I feel?” For once, Jack listened to his heart and asked Shen the big question he’s been itching to know for the longest time. 

“Look, I know her, okay? I know she never explicitly told me that it was you, but I know that whatever it is you’re feeling, she feels the same.” Shen never speaks to him in such a manner; he realizes it was almost comforting to him. 

Jack doesn’t have an answer to that, so he stayed silent. Hoping an ambulance would come in – just to take his mind off of things he’s been thinking. Shen understands him, he doesn’t expect an answer from Jack, so they both stay silent. 

+1

Jack woke up on his day off with a call from you, not that he knew it was you who called him that morning. He was awake on the second ring, annoyed but still reaching for his phone on the nightstand to check the caller ID. Upon realizing that it was you who called, he shot up from his position and mentally prepared himself for your voice.

“Jack, are u up?”

He knows that you have seen better days— your voice is strained, tired, and almost giving up.

“Hey, yeah, I’m up now. What's wrong?”

He hears your chuckles and he realizes that this is a good way to wake up.

“Nothing’s wrong, listen- do you wanna maybe get some breakfast with me? Oh wait, you just woke up, never mind, I’ll-”

“I would love to. where are you thinking? I’ll come and get you from the hospital” He cuts you off. Scared that you've decided that he shouldn't go out.

“The diner near your place, I’m walking there currently. I’ll order your usual.”

The diner was a one-time occurrence, after both of you worked the day shift, and with two cans of beer in his system, you offered to drive him with a waffle as a bribe on the way home.

Before he can ask why you were walking alone in the cold, you cut off the call, leaving him practically jumping from his bed to brush his teeth and change his clothes.

Jack was walking to the front door of the diner when he saw you from the glass window, sitting in one booth, head tilted backward, and arms crossed with two coffee mugs and a plate of waffles on the table. His heart stopped the moment he realized that you were wearing his jacket—the one you keep on telling him you were planning to give back, but it never seemed to land on his locker ever again.

He walked to the booth, muttering your name, and he must have looked like he just woke up because you smiled— that loopy smile that always leaves him frozen. “Good morning. You definitely raised the standards for ‘I just woke up’ look”.

“Well, aren’t you cozy in that jacket?” He jested, “Always wear this one if you’re not working.” You replied with a small smile, looking at his eye. 

He smiled bashfully and was going to sit across from you when you held his hand and said, “Sit beside me, please,” and he obeyed. He sits beside you, shoulder almost touching, when you put your head on his shoulder. He went stiff for a while, before slightly leaning his position backward so you could be more comfortable.

“I'll give you this jacket back,” you speak first, your voice slightly muffled by his shoulder. he laughed, and moving his head slightly to the left to press a kiss on your hairline. You took it as a chance to put your arms around his waist, snuggling into him further as he put his arm around you, rubbing it in a soothing motion.

“Keep it.” You kissed his shoulder, the intimacy of this moment isn't lost on him, to ground himself, he decided to lift his mug and carefully take a sip of his coffee with his free hand.

“You want to talk about it?” He started, earning a simple nod against his arm and listening attentively on you talking about the shitty shift you just had—one where you lost a boy, and having to talk to his girlfriend who cried on you saying how she never got the chance to tell him she love him was just too much for you. So you made up your mind that moment to tell Jack as soon as you can.

“Jack.” You called out to him, and he hummed at you, hands still moving up and down your back. You continued. “You know I love you, right?.” His hand stopped at that, and you straightened up, hands falling on his thigh, looking at his eyes now.

He couldn't say anything— his heart beating too hard for his liking, his mind went blank, he was sure he'd never felt peace and adrenaline at the same time.

So he looked down, seeing your hands on his thigh, taking it on his own and lifting it to his lips to press a kiss on it.

He breathed deeply. “Fuck. I love you so much, I don't think it's healthy.” His voice was still breathy, from the adrenaline or the fact that he just woke up 10 minutes ago, he never knew.

“Good. 'Means I got custody of this jacket and its owner now” going back to the same comfortable position you were in earlier, and he laughed softly, with a crooked smile, he whispers, “You already have my heart, You can have any of my jackets, honey.”

“But you have to eat first, and after that you can raid my closet and take anything you want, okay?”

“Will you kiss me now?”

He leaned in and kissed you softly—not a hurried kiss, not even a hungry one, it was a genuine soft kiss with years of yearning over each other, pining over one another with nothing but pure love. He kissed you like he meant it, like how you are meant to be kissed—with nothing but love.

The next day, you weren’t even walking together to the ER, but somehow, everybody knew. Robby was talking with Shen, Dana with Bridget, when you joined in to greet everyone, followed by Jack, who put his bag on his station, not even acknowledging the gossip circle.

You were going to say something when Shen beats you to it, “shhhhh before you say anything, who said it first?” Now this caught Jack's attention, who joined in with a smirk on his face. 

“She did,” Jack said with a smile. Looking at you now. Dana and Bridget were high-fiving with a ‘yes’. While Robby and Shen quietly muttered a ‘fuck’.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck, I was so close to that 300,” Shen said exasperatedly. Rubbing his face. 

“What the fuck, you bet on me John?” you asked him. 

“Eh, we all did. Though I technically bet against you.” 

You turned to Robby, “You?” he shakes his head and juts his chin out to Jack beside you. 

“Before you ask, we both bet that you would be the first to say it,” Dana said cheerfully, thinking of ways she’s going to spend the money. 

Shen looks over to Jack before saying, “what the fuck, man. I even gave you hints.” Jack only shrugged his shoulders, “Sorry, man, I wasn’t even expecting it.” 

“That’s what you get for playing dirty, John.” Dana shoved his shoulder. 

“Told you the girl’s fierce. Never underestimate a woman in love.” Bridget commented on Shen and Robby. 

Jack nudged your shoulder, looking at you, smiling fondly before saying, “Yeah, my girl’s fierce.” 

Your face turned red at that comment. “Though, you deserve to lose that you got so little faith in me you fucker.” You pointed at Shen. who replied with a “whatever”.

Shen walked over to Jack and put his hand on his shoulder, “Thank you for lightening my burden, now she’s your burden.” you mock hurt at the comment, though the smile on your face says otherwise. 

“Gladly. Though you gotta walk me step by step later.” Jack nudged your shoulder once more, you shoved him back as retaliation, “Hey! I’m not the one eavesdropping when I’m talking to my ex.” 

Jack was frozen, his ears burning red, when everybody laughed at him. 

“While Jack could’ve given me the win, I’m happy for you both, truly,” Robby said earnestly. 

Jack leans down, whispering to you, “You should tell Shen he’s not gonna get free coffee anymore now that you’re driving with me.” You whispered back to him, “Nah, he’s a big boy, he’ll understand.” 

Your whispers were responded to with sighs and grunts from the others, who decided to leave both of you alone. With Dana walking away, smiling hard, and says, “Keep it PG now, you two.”

You both smiled at each other before parting ways. You turned over to look at him from a distance and mouthed ‘I love you,’ and Jack, who meets your eyes with his stare – now softer than ever – mouthed back ‘love you more.’. 

And that was enough, for now.