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*taps mic* ahem

Izzy Hands is so fucking basic.

No, for real. He's a plot device. He doesn't have a back story. Even Wee John and Lucius have more back story than him! Tell me more about Wee John making dresses with his mother and Lucius being a thief! Please! Almost everything Izzy does is to further someone else's plotline! And not even in a "wise old sage dropping truth bombs" kind of way. He falls down comically and the crew is like "oh fuck hey guys stop fighting wow at least we're not that bad holy shit" and then we get a nod to the flag-making in the pilot and more examples of how Stede has influenced his crew. Working things out!!! With arts and crafts!!! Working together!!! Group project!!!

"Where did he come from where did he go?" Does not fucking matter! He's shooting himself in the foot (or the leg) (literally getting shot in the leg) trying to foil the romantic leads! "oh yeah just gonna have ed's boyfriend killed in front of him this should work out in my favor (clueless)" cut to Ed and Stede smooching on a beach. "oh yeah just gonna talk it through as a crew and by 'talk it through as a crew' i mean bringing up stede and blaming ed for having big dumb feelings even though last time did not work out well for anybody surely this time it will be different :)" cut to Izzy getting shot in the leg and getting dubious basement surgery partially so Archie and Jim can have their cute little moment and make out. Izzy is not even wholly centered when he's half dead from leg surgery, Archie and Jim were literally about to fuck nasty covered in blood right there and then if Ed hadn't interruppted. Rude of him tbh.

Half of Izzy's screen time is dedicated to other characters and their personal journeys. The other half is...mostly made up?? Because Gaia forbid the white guy doesn't get focused in this story that Isn't About Him? When he only exists to...not even to foil the soft foppy femme romantic lead but to get his ass kicked literally and metaphorically and then have some nice moments with the crew and Ed towards the end of his life? Said before, he's not even Wise Old Sage, no one fucking listens to him most of the time and nothing bad happens when they ignore him. Imagine if Ed had listened to Izzy and not gone to check on Stede after the Ned Low incident???? Can you fucking imagine??

Gods. People doing Olympic-level gymnastics turning that angry white antagonist into a third main character when he actually sucks bad and he's supposed to suck bad because him sucking bad is the whole point. Like what if you tried to stop two guys from getting together but you'd never heard of LOVE before so you were just fucking bad at it and they ended up confessing to each other and kissing on the beach? What if all your plans backfired and everyone was better off ignoring your advice 99% of the time? What if you almost stopped your boss from comforting his boyfriend but thankfully he ignored you because they know themselves and each other better than anyone else and that's so goddamn beautiful? What if you interrupted their lovely morning after to make a stupid joke about docking and they were both pissed at you? Like. What if you just. Sucked bad?

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Picked this up from @allthinky over on the butterfly.

Worth your time no matter how you view Izzy Hands. It doesn't matter that it's confirmatory, but it offers insight into destructive fandom patterns.

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reblog this and put in the tags which capital cities you’ve been to

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Did you guys know the Swede lived until 1776 where he changed his accent and name, and helped write the American constitution?

Or Nat Faxon appeared in an episode of Ghosts as Alexander Hamilton. One of the two.

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Wearing his heart on his butt 😆

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merluwande :)

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Day 3 Torn Net

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I just love that Stede Bonnet's first two thoughts upon awaking from his stab-induced fever dream are:

Is my crew OK?!

And:

Who is this dashingly beautiful man with the big black beard sitting over me? I know! He must work for Blackbeard!

No one has ever managed to say all the right things by accident so dang quickly.

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Finished a lunch break sketch of Ed

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this is weird.. 2/2

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thank uou for showing me your little white boy i do not like him can you put him away please

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oil on canvas, 40x50cm

AVAILABLE

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