somebetterdays

[somebetterdays]

i just fucking miss my dead horse

[somebetterdays]

therapist: so how has your dissociation been this week

me: hmm i dont recall being dissociated

therapist: is that because you weren’t dissociating or because you were dissociating so much you don’t remember anything

me:

[somebetterdays]

[somebetterdays]

i’m 18 weeks pregnant and seeing my pcp today for the first time in like 3 months she goes through my chart and is asking things and then goes “so your weight…. does your ob know where it is? do you know what it is?” and i was like well no… even though i do know what it is just my team doesn’t know i know and basically i’m like what’s wrong with it and she just went quiet and said “we can discuss that next time” like no kristi tell me now???? and then the girl taking my blood was a student which is fine but she stabbed me 5 times and still barely got enough blood for the labs and i’m just over today and medical visits and yep

[somebetterdays]

why is this still relevant, just over 3 years later

the worst thing is coming to the realization that you’re doing this all to yourself. it may have been started by something else, accelerated by another, but it’s literally a fight between your mind and your body and that is so painfully brutal. and just you. and you feel so alone.

[somebetterdays]

Milliat Fleurs 

[somebetterdays]

me: I will do things when I am less tired

me: *never becomes less tired*

me: oh no

[somebetterdays]

[somebetterdays]

source

[somebetterdays]

[somebetterdays]

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) dir. Alfonso Cuarón

[somebetterdays]

[somebetterdays]

Anaïs Nin, The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1920–1923

[somebetterdays]

i hate when people start getting like the "im getting worried about you" statements when nothing is even going wrong???? and then my rd today was like "can we have the weight conversation" and i said i didn't want to but go ahead i guess to which she went "we can see that you're trending downwards" and yet here i am.... still apathetic and not caring one single bit :) :) :)

[somebetterdays]

besties I think there’s a lot going on at the moment

[somebetterdays]

Source

[somebetterdays]

u know what will really ruin ur day? anything if ur sensitive enough