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desperately need to read or watch something that will alter my brain chemistry and turn me into a new person
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Sorry for being a bitch earlier, I needed to lay in the dark with my headphones for 3 hours to feel better
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"how to prevent smile lines" there are a thousand more important things to do with your time than postpone evidence of life's joy on your face
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never underestimate my ability to stay tf home
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Fucked up that you have to go to work during the winter. Should be curled up in a little nest with several months' supply of food stocked up right now.
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Mom, I want Nandor.

We have Nandor at home.
Nandor at home:
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they should invent a way to save your mother
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Lister Bird is just a big ball of intense guilt pressed into an objectively attractive human shape. That shape is currently wearing lightning McQueen sunglasses meant for six year olds
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