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faulkner’s dad after dropping the most profound and heartwarming monologue of all time

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Diversity Win!! the cult feeding you to crabs offers gender-affirming healthcare options

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You know what? 

Back in Glottage, we don’t have to put up with this shit. 

Day after day, the vast majority of people go to work. They say their prayers. They get through the day intact. 

Reality stays within their usual permitted confines. 

And out here in the countryside…towns flood. 

And dirt-patches eat you. 

And people turn into fucking SHRIMP. 

Keep your gods on a leash. 

It shouldn’t be this hard. 

Should it?

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Concerned Ape knows what's up

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Gertrude and Gerry playing Smash bros Gertrude mains jigglypuff, Gerry mains Falco

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The d&d slander in this episode was so fucking funny. This guy goes "yeah d&d was dumb I'm not into that nerd shit. Also I grew a goatee and walk around in a long dark coat because I like being a mysterious stranger, I even have a silly voice for it."

Like the dice didn't even make him do all that my guy just chose the theatre kid life

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hey does anyone know the best size enclosure for my new medieval knight? i want him to have enough space to wander around and go on quests

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Here's a list of all the state birds!

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the magnus archives was a psychological horror story that the fandom wanted to be a found-family office comedy. the magnus protocal is a found-family office comedy and everyone just wants to skip to the psychological horror. smh. 🙄

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Sam and Alice break into the Archives

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Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

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Sam and Alice in episode 10

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What a dialogue

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Do You Think God Stays in Heaven Because He too Lives in Fear of What He's Created