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The reason why Tales From The Gas Station works so well is because the premise is so fucking funny.

Imagine a guy. Just a guy. He is a cashier at the gas station at the edge of town.

That town is fucking weird. There are monsters, hauntings, eldritch gods appearing in dreams, parasites, cultists, serial killers, tree people, politicians that don't stay dead, a ventriloquist puppet that has more influence than anyone else in town.

But this guy just wants to do his damn job. He doesn't care. He is tired. If you're not going to buy anything, he'll kindly ask you to leave the store.

He gets robbed, attacked, beaten up, threatened with death, threatened by old naked men, visited by murder cultists and terrible beings and he just goes right back to work afterwards. (He's nothing if not a good employee.)

At the same time, this guy isn't normal. He doesn't sleep. Ever. He has memory issues and sees hallucinations (so those weird things are probably not real anyway, right). He forgets his friend died on Halloween and isnt surprised when he keeps showing up. Aforementioned murder cultist tries to convince him to join the mission to blow up the planet, then adopts him as his best friend when it doesn't work. He is locked in a neverending battle with the local racoons.

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you just know mr jones had the time of his life getting to show off his range like that

ah I see you’ve caught me thinking about the voice the audio book narrator does for Honorius

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cemeteries aren’t creepy they’re actually devoted to memory and rest and love and humanity

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this is literally one of my favorite images ever i'll never get tired of it

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ok so i do have adhd but i feel as though this somehow transcends it. I just made a cup of tea 10 minutes ago. Im in a very small room. It has disappeared. I didnt leave the room. It just escaped. It is gone. It never was. Wheres my tea. It couldnt have gone anywhere and yet it has. Did i drink it and eat the cup and forget? Where is my tea. I miss her. This is fucked

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is there any temptation greater than being in the hardware store and seeing the place where they have all the little cards for the colours

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i accidentally clicked onto and off of the "explore" page very quickly, and in the second or so that the explore page was onscreen i saw a beautiful photoshopped image that may infact be nothing like how i saw it due to the speed at which it appeared and disappeared.... but still. what i saw was beautiful

it looked like this

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don’t bully me for how i spelled delicious

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I love when Dean Winchester is like “now look buddy I’m no Nikola Tesla pal but I know for damn sure I didn’t come all the way down to this backwater bowling alley for you to bust a ball in my face buddy, I wanna know which way this little Shirley Temple candlestick maker crocodile son of a bitch went and I wanna know now” and Sam is like [sigh] “he wants to know if you’ve seen our dog. please give us a call if you see him”

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This right wing social media influencer and former prison worker went to Fetish Con and got so so scared in her first 20 minutes she left lmao 😱

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It won’t let me reblog EVERYONE LOOK

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how to solve your potatoes from sticking to the pan

are you trying to stop your potatoes to sticking to the pan? follow these simple pro steps to prevent potatoes sticking to the pan. easy to follow steps to not have potatoes stuck to your pan! [AD] potatoes have been sticking to the nonstick pan for centuries. here's how to unstick stuck stick potatoes from your nonstick pan. try adding more oil to your pan! add oil and they will stick less to your pan. using a nonstick pan also helps this. [AD] potatoes still sticking to the pan? try these other hacks to stop sticking pan potatoes. even pros do them! potatoes stick to pans in no small part because starch is sticky. consider using potatoes with lower starch, or a pan with lower starch. [AD] [AD] consider you may be using too much oil? consider using less oil in the pan, as it can make potatoes stick to your pan. potatoes can stick to the pan even in the microwave! moreover, these procedures can help to prevent potatoes sticking from your pan in the microwave. [AD] potatoes have less starch after they are cooked. add potatoes to pan only after they have been fully cooked. this can help sticking to your pan. now that you know how the pros do to stop potato from sticking to your nonsticking to your pan, consider How To Stop Onion Sticking To Your Pan

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“magic isnt real” — plants just grow out of the ground. for free. everywhere.