somegayasian - Tumblr blog

somegayasian · 1 year

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You know what, this makes so much sense.

Whenever people send those nasty messages, it seems as if they’re not actual Shawols and instead trolls trying to harass us.

I have a screenshot of an account who has harassed me in my art blog and as you could see, they don’t even look like a Shawol at all. (I could be wrong, but they tend to look exactly the same — also I didn’t save the message since it was very triggering)

Which makes me wonder, why are they ONLY doing this to Shawols and not other fandoms? I don’t see them doing the same with TechnoBlade, XXXTentacion or even Michael Jackson. I could name someone who has also commit suicide but NEVER gets treated like this. Etica. I’ve heard NOTHING from them and apparently he doesn’t get treated well by his fans. Never did I see a post telling them it’s “disrespectful to a deadman” but when Shawols try to celebrate his life that works for us, then all of a sudden we’re doing a bad thing.

I feel like this also plays on with the whole “terrorising K-pop fans because I’m edgy” trope. Yet, that doesn’t give you the excuse to harass someone who just want to grief in their own terms.

If they are a K-pop fan and they’re saying shit like that then, how would it make you feel if you bias passed away and then everyone treated you like shit because you’re expected to mourn and then pretend they never existed in the first place.

What if a member of Loona passes away and you’re not even allowed to say your favourite quote from them without people harassing you to “stop talking about her?”

What if a member of Stray Kids passes away and you have to pretend he never existed just to gain the approval of people around you.

What if a member of Enhypen passes away and there are people spamming his funeral pictures and clips that you can’t even go onto YouTube or Google anymore without it being shown to you.

What if a member of BTS passes away and you can’t even celebrate his life because “oh, you’re disrespecting the dead.”

What if a TXT member passes away and you have to constantly check every single person just to make sure they are comfortable to talk about him.

You could apply any group to this, and would you still like it? But oh, you was just telling people, right? No. You go up to them when they are vulnerable and start to harass them. For what?

Sorry, that was a vent here…

No, you’re totally right. It seems as if the messages are an attack on K-pop fans which makes sense due to the fact that people love to make fun of them for their music taste. This has especially been happening since the early days of when K-pop went worldwide and it has became this “alternative pop world.” I think it’s also the fact that since he’s the first idol that has killed himself, people use that to harass and terrorise others that may be otherwise trying to cope with no longer seeing their idols on vlive anymore and even music without them. You don’t see people doing the same to Sulli or Goo Hara. It’s only Jonghyun that gets this treatment.

People need to start being considerate and stop thinking that they have the rights to control how people grief and cope. Regardless if it’s a Shawol or not, they should really keep to themselves and focus on what coping mechanisms works for them. And if they’re not a Shawol and they’re harassing people for coping with death, they should be ashamed of themselves for terrorising them just because they do something that you don’t like that you’re otherwise not even a part of. They need to really shut the fuck up and know their place. They are NOT a Shawol mourning over the death of Jonghyun by referring to him as “dead man” and mentally harassing other grieving Shawols in their vulnerable state because they think they’re doing something “right” or they’re the “hero” in their story when really they’re making it so much harder for those people that they become traumatised and may need to go to therapy because of those people.

I’m not going to let that comment on hyunjin gf’s blog slide. The fact that they have the audacity to harass someone who is MENTALLY not in a good place by gatekeeping other ways to cope with FUCKING DEATH because they expect us to not treat him like he ever existed. For most people, that’s not how they cope, and it’s such a fucking unhealthy coping mechanism for most people since it could cause depression. Some people can do that whilst most can’t, and they need to understand that this is a thing that they can’t gatekeep for their own sake.

If any of these dumbasses decides to challenge me, I’ll screenshot their ask and I’ll report them to Tumblr because this terrorisation of K-pop fans needs to end. I would even bring them to the wall of shame so they can’t take back their words.

If you guys had gone through something like this, please note that you’re not alone and you don’t need to change how you cope with Dec 18th for anyone. You are allowed to grief, mourn and cope in your own terms. Remember, this is YOUR experiences and not others so YOU figure out what works for YOU and don’t cater to what those stupid delusional idiots like them say because most likely, they aren’t even Shawols themselves or even if they are, they cope with death differently than you and you don’t have to copy them just because they told you so. Please look after yourselves and make sure that you guys are putting yourselves first since mental health was the thing that killed Jonghyun, and he wouldn’t want you to be next in line.

#boost

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somegayasian · 2 years

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Wagwan my guy,

As a shawol myself, I’m here to reassure you that you’re not a bad person for anything that has happened to you. I’m gonna say this right now, I’m so deeply sorry in behalf of all shawols for the mistreatment that you had been going throughout the past few months. I know it’s hard to believe but those people do not represent all shawols in our family. I’m saddened to think that something like that would occur in a fandom that is well known to be the most mature fandom in K-pop which we’re still are since there’s only a small amount of people who act the way the people you’ve seen act.

I hope you’re doing well and you’re getting the help that you need. Please hang around with your family members or anyone that loves you. You need that positive environment so you can learn that there are people that do care about you and your love for Jonghyun. In fact, I’m pretty sure SHINee doesn’t hate you. Jonghyun included.

Love you man. Stay safe online.

Hey guys… I think I’m no longer interested in SHINee like I used to anymore. (Vent)

Everything felt like a mistake. I wish I never went to that SHINee discord server when that user told me to. I should of went with my guts and never interact with SHINee again after finding out about Dec 18th. Now my mental health has been going low lately and still until this day I feel shit about myself and feel worthless in my soul.

That pure, passionate Shawol that I knew and loved is dead and I can’t ever get him back. All just because of the Shawols I came across in my journey that went in and shredded his precious heart.

All just because he felt uncomfortable with the topic of Dec 18th coming up casually so he said a joke that made them uncomfortable.

All just because he made jokes on tiktok that led him to receive death threats afterwards.

All just because he saw a Jonghyun event on instagram that caught his eye and wanted to donate £10 alongside with him making a picture of Jonghyun for their event just for them to block him when he was ready to share it to them.

All just because his vented wasn’t validated on reddit and was even harassed and teared apart by low-life people who couldn’t even read which led the post getting taken down.

All just because he made a tumblr blog to express himself privately and not knowing how to private his blogs which lead to him getting harassed.

All that just for nothing. He didn’t deserve any of this. All he wanted from Shawols was someone he could call a friend and nobody could do that for him. He now feels worthless and a shit Shawol that he feels like it’s over and that nobody wants him.

It really felt like a stab on the back. He had nobody to talk to so he would vent to himself by making stories involving Dec 18th in a comedic manner since he doesn’t usually like saying it casually. Or a vent like what I’m doing which I barely do due to my toxic masculinity of maintaining my manhood as a young transgender guy.

Maybe I was doomed from when I was born. Maybe I shouldn’t have friends after all. Everything feels like they could be better without me. SHINee would be better if I was never a fan of theirs and maybe Jonghyun could truly rest in peace knowing that I’m no longer a fan of SHINee anymore.

I’m done being a Shawol. I’m sick of it.

#shinee #kpop #shawol

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