someonesaidtrytoblog-blog

[someonesaidtrytoblog-blog]

Someone said try to blog.

Okay, So every once in a while I think about making an attempt at explaining a little bit of how my mind works. Obviously this could be a book. And I will see how much I can type, or how I feel about doing so. But lets just start somewhere around my lack of social skills, but lack there of. So, an overview. Basically two main killers on my lack of social skills. The first, I dont care for small talk or fake people. I will not judge you until you do something that violates even the smallest of my morals. So I would say possibly critical there. Blame the Virgo sun sign, and the Virgo in mercury, Virgos ruling planet, the planet of thought. Back to the topic. Thats the first reason. The second, I do not trust anyone with my complete feelings. I will be as honest as the most honest, combined with my natural tone of voice, unfortunatly results in the reaction of a snowflake commonly. Now, lets actually start with the second one since its on the mind. I have been in thought for a long while but have determined that the main root of me not trusting people with my feelings in life is that I have always felt like my feelings never really mattered. Now repetetivly, I was temporarily blinded and have been fooled that my feelings did matter but then shortly after that, I am reminded at how they really dont matter. In my opinion, to have someone invalidate your feelings, is something that can not be recovered from. The moment someone makes me feel like my opinion does not hold matter equal to their own my first thought is that if this person, thinks something so simple as opinion, is so important it must be displayed or even felt in any manner , that theirs is superior is not someone I shall share personal feelings with. This has happened over and over again. The wall of china has been built and breached. But the breached areas are being repaired. On a side note, if this just stays here forever. I do appreciate and apologize to the people who have reached out and I have not held up to the my end of the bargain. I have tried not to complain because some people have reached out. But for some reason the bond we have is not necessarily a deeper connection like the only one I currently pursue. That has nothing to do with how I feel about the friendship we have. We just vibe a different way. Back to the first one. Small talk and fake people. Let me explain a frustration with relations. I wont approach a woman, never know when you may catch them at the wrong time. I will say good morning on the way home from work , when I stop at the gas station, on my morning routine. To any person eye contact is made. But thats about it. If I get a second opportunity and can think of a line on just one main thing. I have to be able to relate something from tone or emotion of a room to an object or happening, to something intelligent or factual that I posses in my mind. Which I fill with the most random of facts. But anyway. Even when I get the opportunity, to just be loved. Which is all I wish for really. I will need to be attracted to you. As well as be able to relate in common morals. I will also need to be able to live up to your sexual desires. If you can not do that, I believe that in this world , you need to let that woman go. In a world with so many people if she is not being sexually satisfied to be honest, if shes not being honest with herself eventually she will be and if she can not fight her natural desires then it wont end well. What I mean bro is if your girl wants you to tie her up and spank her and pull her hair a little bit because the small amount of pain, and change in position, bring to her more pleasure. Get the fuck on , boy. Again anyway, I like to ramble a bit. Some people enjoy my opinions. And I dont really tell them to anyone. All this shall remain anonymous, But I will put a signature. Reason for it is, I already have enough haters and its easier to ignore them if they dont know who you are. Again though I do respect your opiniom on whatever it may be, doesnt mean my actions may seem so sometimes. I can agree. Again, even through the repeated grammar mistakes. Which I just dont care enough to sit and debate it if its not natural, resulting in run on sentences. Even my ramble should tell you a little about my brain. And maybe even the excitement to finally get some of these things out. So If I do post this I hope someone enjoys it. Remember this could have several chapters. So in question was the statement from the first paragraph, " But lets just start somewhere around my lack of social skills, but lack there of. " Note lack there of. And let me go on about this for a minute. So, the thing is when I do get the chance to carry conversation, I am very good at it. For anyone I want to vibe with anyway. I am passionate about certain things in life. From things I enjoy that keep my attention, all the way to the way children should be raised, these are important things to vibe on for me. Battles not wished to be fought down the road, or any other basic moral, Are actually conversations she wants from friends. Honestly straight on a side note, if you have a belief you value as a moral I will always respect that you hold that belief. I say this because you should have been cyritical about forming an opinion you find moral. If you have not then  as open you were to the belief you have, is as open you should be to others. But become critical and make sure you question everything with a logical amount of cause. A start to being open minded. Obviously they believe something for a reason. If you cant prove it , or prove it false, even if in found not logical. When lacking disrespect, there is no need to start any. Back to my original attempt at explanation, the lack of the lack of social skills. Once opportunity for more than a 30 second period pops up and I see any kindness in your eyes, our conversation will begin and end with knowledge. Honestly, women say they love my conversation. But they usually go, see second paragraph for feelings on that. The problem I seem to have, and this is my opinion; When a woman enjoys an intelligent conversation, then each time it occurs in the first few encounters the farther and farther in the friendzone you will finish. Even if you are being intimate with her. In this day and age its unfortunste the small amount of women who seem to exist that actually are attracted to a man who they think they are attracted to. Its like they all have just a piece of what they preach they want from a man. You can literally put in all you got, be as sweet and respectful, as well as satisfying to her, make a decent living, and she will say she loves you. But a rare woman these days doesnt give the good men a chance. Because they are the ones that dont want to risk talking to you, in fear they may only cause more burden on your day, because you seem in a rush, we rather just not bother you with our possibly annoying presense. We just wish everyone a decent day. But back to what I was saying, not enough women want a man who is strong, sensitive and as rough as they require. They would rather suffer mentally, and silently about certain things. Some which end up of matter. Which is unfortunate in most cases. Literally my mentality is this if you show continued interest in our conversation, and end in loving who I am and what I believe in. I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Im so down. Just the fact that you love and support me will make me fall for you. But at the first sign of you being un interested in me, by my own standards which are not out of reason, I am out emotionally. Im dipping, to many excuses, you shouldnt have any if you are pursuing that type of conversation. When intent is clear. In example. I send you a text three mornings in a row saying, "good morning" . And you dont respond. I throw one goodnight in those three good mornings somewhere. So four attempts total over atleast three days. And no Response. Do not text me three weeks later talking about how you had a good time and would like to go out again. This was days previous to our first date and we were talking steady all the way up until the date which actually did go well, but anyway. I know you just want some free food and a laugh. Oh and probably some drama free intelligent conversation, all while stuck in her phone anyway. But not for romantic pursuals, Dont forget,  As mentioned previously with what to me seems like the most attractive approach to a good conversation, an intelligent yet entertaining but real conversation about life in all aspects. Actually gets you further into the endzone being the friendzone. And if you done caught feelings, make sure you take proper to rid yourself of them, and when she asks for advice that you cant beleive she has the audacity to ask, either answer in patience or not at all. If you cant handle helping her not be with you, dont try to continue being her friend.Because of her friends she may ask for solutions to get over you, even if not directly. If you end up friendzoned and you move  on. Your best bet is at the first sign of jealousy commited. If you can handle being her friend who knows what may happen in time. She may grow to be attracted to your ability to carry intelligent and meaningful conversation. And the tables will turn. If she does not, then she is already your friend. And you are already okay with that. So go on. Again, caught rambling. I hope someone reads all this. Its long. I Have never read, or typed something so long, honest, and personal. All while completly fucking the grammar. Eventually you will find a woman who loves you even when you are an ass and you should love that woman anyway she needs, because if she didnt love you at some point she would be gone. And if you have even the smallest belief that she loves you, then do what you must to hang on to her. For love is prescious and should be more occuring in its natural state and not on a temporary pallet. Real love is understand that you will not quit on someone who has not quit on you. Percieve quit as you will. To each their own. So like I said I ramble alot here. My apologies. Hope someone enjoyed it.