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A dead body that will keep walking

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Light Yagami and perfection [ 夜神 月]

Something I find extremely interesting about Light Yagami is how perfect he was and how that birthed Kira. The thought of Light Yagami is a perfect son from almost every single perspective.

Light was top of his class, scored first in national exams, openly observed his fathers line of work and will pursue the same job as his father, aims to score HIGHER than his father, extreme deductive skills, naturally good at his future career, good at social skills, many friends, a few girlfriends, athletic, extremely attractive and more this is what a ton of parents desire their children to be. He can be seen as perfect.

But when we think of what Light Yagami wanted when he became Kira it makes a tad bit more sense why he perceived himself as perfect. People view God as a creator, a piece of absolute perfection and divinity.

That that ties into what they want of perfection from Light. Light views himself as perfect and he essentially is in a perspective; but due to the perfection that Light possesses he essentially became a shell, he became a shell of a person.

Light Yagami wanted to be Kira, Kira was perfection as Kira is a God. Light Yagami was bored, extremely bored due to the perfection he possessed he flew through life easily but he had flaws and that flaw was not only his boredom but not being able to meet his goals that’s why Kira is what Light truly desired to be. And he deluded himself into believing he was as perfect as his own creation.

Lights narcissism and his own deeply hidden flaws really does make the delusion of Kira come to life. He didn’t name Kira, the world did and that’s what he wanted. He wanted to be seen as the delusion he thought he was.

Light saw himself as a God of justice, to create a new world. He wanted to be the true divinity of perfection.

When he introduced himself by using his Kanji he sounded PROUD for having the Kanji for God in his name, if you check his tones it becomes transparent of Lights pride in becoming a god.

“Kira was born out of perfection”

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Missed a detail due to translation. (arrgghh)

In L: Wammy's House, when L was introduced, he addressed Quillsh Wammy as "ワイミーさん" (Wammy san)

In L: One day, L addressed Quillsh Wammy as "Watari"(ワタリ), which means that the alias "Watari" was used after Wammy discovered L's talent and decided to walk with L.

Yeah, but now I don't have the will to revise my fic, lol. Never mind.

I really like the translation name 「渡」 (dù) for Watari. It's a very sophisticated translation.

Here's why:

ワタリpronouned is the same as 渡り(わたり), and the latter had the meaning "to cross, to ferry, to bridge"

渡 is typically used as the following terms in Traditional Chinese: (1) 渡河 to cross a river (shore to shore) (2) 過渡 transition (3) 渡過難關 to overcome difficulties (note: sometimes 度, without the radical 'water') (4) 引渡 to pass on, to deliver While Watari acts as a bridge between L and the outside world; he transitions L’s decisions into action.

Instead of using the pronunciation of "Watari," using 「渡」 (dù) has this clean, sharp tone, very code-name-ish.

The meaning and sound are both aesthetic and accurate in symbolism.

Also read something very interesting in the JP fandom. It was discussions about L and Watari. One person replied,

"Watari first recognizes L's determination and ambition, and not justice. Watari also knew that L being selfish was the best way to bring out his powers."

Which explains why Watari seemed like a bystander but not a typical guardian to L's actions and manners. L and Watari's relationship is different from Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth. Whether it is toxic or not is left for readers to interpret.

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Growing up, I understood that Death Note is about mistreating children. But only when I’m older (than most of the main cast), I undrestand how much it weights on failed parenting.

Light Yagami is a child, treated like an adult. He’s seventeen at the beginning of the story, and at most times, he would be considered a young adult, an older teenager. He poses himself like a grown person, but his conceptions of life are naive. His actions are close to juvenile - and it’s perfectly fine for boys his age. Everyone needs their own time to grow.

But because of his intelligence, his actual personality is overlooked by his parents. In the beginning, Light’s boredom is so loud, a God answers. He’s successful - but it doesn’t give him any satisfaction. He’s following a path to his career, but his dedication is hollow. Light portrays a picture perfect student, so nobody would question - is he really okay? What is going on inside his head? How does he feel about world that he lives?

How being a picture perfect son shaped him as a person?

Yagami’s family doesn’t pester psychopathic tendencies consciously. Some kids would seriously just try the thing that has “KILLS PEOPLE NO CONVICTION” to see if it works.

It needs to be noted that most seventeen-years olds consider other people as living beings and wouldn’t.

But the following plot of Death Note shows that Light didn’t value human life and felt himself superior; how did this happen? Being Kira filled his life with purpose as nothing before; how it came to be?

Discussion on relation of characters of DN to the autistic spectrum is still alive; and one might see some behavioural patterns in Light as sighs of autism, but that’s not to infantilise neurodivergent people. That’s to show that different ways of development need different types of parental attention; and that there are different types of neglect, and some of them can be masked by formal success.

But Light’s inner world, definitively different from his family, and definitively troubled, is not in a spotlight. Treating a growing person like they have capabilities and needs of a grown is neglectful.

And Yagami family continues that pattern, when they let Misa, a grown woman, in their house, when their child never shown any interest in her and was so visibly disturbed by her intrusion - because he’s treated like an adult. It continues, when Light forgets about Kira and inserts himself into the case, continuing abhorrently twisted relationship with another mistreated man, L.

In L’s case, we see deliberate neglect in different way, and him being stunted rather than really adapted to society shows that he’s treated like a function, not a person.

(If I see any antis in my mentions I will block immediately and I WILL be mean)

Death Note is a great piece of social critique, but it really shines on child-parental issues, on the reasons why we come to live in the world of Kira supporters. Light is an intelligent, in-proportionally rational man who adapted to the world on his own, and was never questioned on the ways he looks at himself, his purpose, other people, because he presented a successful facade. That was enough for his family.

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hey so anyways you know how light has this fake diary that he uses in volume one? well i think that he wrote snippets of his daily life in it, at first. maybe three sentences about how he helped his friend with his math homework today, how he'd gotten an award for being valedictorian, how he'd eaten his favourite food today.

then one week passes by and it registers in his mind that he might like writing. it feels soothing, somehow. the three sentences grow into six, then twelve, then a paragraph. it feels nice to write something down that doesn't matter. something that's trivial and stupid and doesn't kill anyone. something that's just for himself. even though he'll never admit it.

and soon enough he begins to embellish the truth, like he does. i had an argument with yamamoto turns into i had a nice lunch with yamamoto. today my dad came home late turns into our family sat down and watched a movie together. today i had a nightmare turns into that was the best sleep i've ever had. he looks at his entries and wonders if it's wrong to do something like this. he looks through his entries and through them he sees another life.

and then he meets L. that day when he comes home from the tennis match he writes one sentence and that is: today i played tennis with a friend.

and then yotsuba arc happens. and when he sets foot into his house, L is already dead. he flips open the diary and all he sees is the other life. the life above the surface, the life where light yagami can be light yagami.

and that's when he takes the diary and rips it to shreds.

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List of Desserts that L ate in the live action films

Aside from what L ate in manga canon, the live-action movies also had a list of sweets that L ate.

The movie directors of the live action stated, "L spent a long time in Japan and developed a liking to Japanese sweets" (see this, time stamp 5:30)

So I thought it would be fun to explain some desserts that the fandom might not be familiar

One of the desserts that I constantly answer in the fandom is 羊羹／ようかん Yōkan.

Yōkan (羊羹) is a wagashi made of red bean paste, agar, and sugar. It is usually sold in a block form, and eaten in slices. (Wikipedia, Yōkan)

Let's start with manga and Obata's art.

In HTR:13, Ryuk made a list of desserts that L ate. One of them is Yōkan, but in the Death Note Wiki (and probably the en translation) it is translated into "Bean Jelly." I'm sure this is the right method, yet it might make the readers unsure of what this was.

Manga, chapter 49. The jelly-like dark red blocks are Yōkan. (probably red bean flavor)

L playing with Yōkan.

(It is noted in HTR:13 that he ate it.)

Obata added yokan in the images that he released for the DN exhibition. The dessert in the upper left corner, the package is written "ようかん" in calligraphy.

In the live actions behind the scenes (see here, 5:49), the Japanese sweets that Matsuyama ate are dango, mochi, and some other sweets that I'm not sure of, unless I take a closer look. (Perhaps more wagashi)

Yeah that definitely is Yōkan. (the right one is a meme lol)

L File no.15 is closer to the interpretation of the live actions. Similar to manga, they also had a list of desserts that L ate, recorded, and ranked by Watari. (Image adjusted)

Yokan is ranked 4 stars. Below is mizuame, ranked 3 stars. Above is ういろうUirō (steamed mochi) (see wiki) ranked five stars.

I translated the list, edited by Canva.

Some Japanese desserts don’t have direct English equivalents, so I’ve included brief descriptions in parentheses. They may not be fully accurate, so I encourage anyone interested to look up images for a better idea.

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Bedtime Routine. my comic piece for @querermezines Kira Kira zine wheeeeee

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funny dumb comic made using this post

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Came across this on the cover of an old magazine at work today. It was published in Epic magazine in the early 1980s. It’s called ‘Self Portrait, with Wings’ by Barry Windsor-Smith.

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Closing threads

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touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

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HERTA ╳ RUAN MEI TUMBLR LAYOUT (req by anon)　𓉳

rb+cred 02 use　 ೀ　psd credits　:　❀

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♡　＃　𓂃　Ruan Mei Graphics ! ❥　.　➶　 requested by anon. enjoy ! ughh i love her sm

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ivan’s fondness for sua despite knowing she doesn’t care for him is just so,, god. it really shows how much feeling alienated/different and inhuman weighs on him. he’s literally just a kid who wants to know that he’s not alone.

till is someone so opposite him that it intrigues him, and he loves him from afar and accepts that he’ll never be the same for till no matter how much he longs for it. but sua is someone who is so similar to him he can’t help but care for her more than his surface level friendships because she gets it- even though sua feels threatened by ivan and doesn’t want to be associated with him.

just the fact that she has a ‘twisted’ aspect to her personality makes him feel a kind of kinship with her. because he lacks empathy he can’t relate as well to his peers, but when it comes to sua he doesn’t need empathy to understand her because he logically understands how her mind works. because it’s similar to his own. and that fact alone brings him a rare comfort and familiarity (that he desperately needs, might i add. sua has mizi to share joy and life with- ivan doesn’t share with till as much as they have a weird unspoken give and take).

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To me, this is the thesis of Alien Stage. For each duo and in more ways than one.

For Ivantill, Till might never have loved Ivan romantically, though we do have indications he may have. Either way, he didn’t love Ivan the same way Ivan loved Till. He didn’t obsess over Ivan the way Ivan did Till. He didn’t want to accept Ivan’s sacrifice the way Mizi accepted Sua’s sacrifice, but Ivan forced it on him. Till’s love was different from Ivan’s, but does that really matter? It was love, too.

Interestingly enough, Luka has both Hyuna and Hyunwoo’s hearts. Despite everything, Luka lived. Hyunwoo initiated the fight between them, and Luka reacted violently, which led to Hyunwoo’s death. Luka was shot at, and Hyuna took the bullet, killing her. Luka has lived in spite of everything because of their deaths. Hyuna loved Luka, but her sacrifice was one made partially out of revenge. Luka may have loved Hyunwoo when they were friends as kids, but he still killed him. He may have loved Hyuna, but he still hurt her. But it was love. Nonetheless, it was love.

And, of course, Mizisua. Mizi didn’t love Sua in a way that propelled her to sacrifice herself for Sua. Sua’s love was the kind that made it impossible for Sua to live without Mizi. If you recall their mental strengths, Sua’s is extremely low while Mizi’s is strong. Mizi knew Sua couldn’t handle if Mizi died. Mizi underestimated just how much Sua’s death would ruin her, but she was willing to bear it so Sua didn’t have to bear losing her. She might not have been willing to die for Sua, but she gave Sua a gift, too. She let Sua give Mizi her sacrifice. And that’s love. That was love.

Even Mizi’s monologue about Hyuna is riddled with the weight of this theme.

Mizi is bitter because Hyuna fought for so long for humanity—a wider concept than Mizi can perhaps even comprehend, having lived isolated and then in ANAKT her whole life. She fought for something that seemed to mean so much, and then she threw it all away for Luka, a man who Mizi seems to loathe and whom she thought Hyuna loathed too.

Mizi is angry because Hyuna’s love, Hyuna’s sense of justice, required sacrifice. For humans, and for Luka. Mizi’s lingering bitterness over Sua’s decision transfers to Hyuna, because why? Why does your love demand you to die for it for nothing?

But it wasn’t for nothing.

Because even though Sua sacrificed herself for Mizi, and Hyuna risked her life to save her and then died for Luka only ended in Mizi’s death by her own hand—Luka either dying and being replaced or continuing to be imprisoned by the aliens for entertainment—

Even if Hyuna’s love for humanity and belief in their freedom only led to children in museum displays rather than stages—

It mattered.

Mizi still destroyed the competition that ruined her and Sua. She still cemented Ivan’s sacrifice by saving Till.

Hyuna still got her justice. She stopped running. Even if Luka remains trapped, his life still means something.

They all loved each other and the world differently, but it was love too. And it’s never for nothing.

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People really like to talk about how Luka is one of the most docile competitors when it comes to obliging the aliens: he is the fan favorite, behaves well during interviews, and diligently fulfills his role of an entertainer. However, during the rounds we barely see his childhood/past.

In Wiege, we finally get some answers regarding how he was born and raised. This scene, in particular:

It's obvious that Luka broke into this place without permission, given that he's holding something that he's likely used to rip the capsules with naked bodies inside. His left hand is on the switch, and the scene ends with aliens reaching out to him.

This is the first instance of Luka's rebellion that we get to witness.

His body is frail, there are many frames of him being connected to the monitoring devices. It paints a picture of him being highly dependent on the support that his owner provides. One might think this is why he wouldn't dare to against the rules.

Which is why I find the second frame so interesting.

His room is covered in posters of a known "human terrorist", and he kisses Hyuna's image in front of the cameras. He isn't afraid of getting punished for it, and that makes me wonder if the owner knowingly indulged him in this one obsession, under assumption that it'll keep Luka compliant.

This scene takes place later, and he's visibly less shaken up by what's in front of him. People in the first one didn't have the incisions, so it's likely that they were tossed away before the aliens could start the surgical procedures. We later see similar scars on Luka's body.