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Day 1 - 1,570
Oatmeal
375 Cals.
1/3c oats 160
1c strawberries 53
1/2c blackberries 62
1c oat milk 40
Scoop flax/chia 60
No Cow Protein Bar
200 Cals.
1 choc. chip cookie dough 200
Banana
105 Cals.
1med 105
Dumplings
890 Cals.
2 dumplings 360 each
Rice 50
Meat 100
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11/29/2022 • 1490
Roasted veggies, chicken, and rice: 450
Coffee: 60
Plum: 30
Half a banana: 60
Pumpkin pie: 320
Pumpkin cheesecake: 570
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11/28/2022 • 1,065
Peanut butter and apple cider butter sandwich 350
- bread: 220
- peanut butter: 90
- apple cider butter: 40
London fog tea latte: 90
Medicinal tea: 30
Coffee
- 2tsp powder creamer: 20
2 plums
- 60
1 cup berries: 65
Roasted veggies, chicken, rice
~ 450
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12/27/2022
Last weigh in for a while.
Need to do things blindly for a while. I let myself binge without any limits these past few weeks, especially days.
I Want to see what I can do and how much.
I’ll still be documenting everything else
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I cannot stop.
Why has it become so hard to stop binging?
It has been an entire week and I have not been amor to contain myself for a day. I’m getting scared to put my clothes on, I don’t want to weigh myself because I know that the numbers have really gone up. I keep thinking, hey you’ve controlled yourself before, enjoy food for a week or two. But I don’t just enjoy, I over indulge. The worst part of all of this is that I don’t move. I have a sedentary job and I don’t have any motivation to workout in the slightest. So it’s not like “have a cookie or two and workout” because I don’t work any of it off.
Im starting not to want to have sex because I’m gonna have to be naked.
I eat right before bed. I have a dessert every single night. My first thought of the day is “what do I eat rn?”
Maybe I need to plan my meals? Like really Olán them out.
I also kind of wish I lived alone so that I could not buy food and not cook. That way it would be easier to control myself. Easier to control what I eat. Easier not to eat.
How do I stop?
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11/16/2022
Fuck.
After a 5 day binge-athon
All that hard work and sacrifice gone to the waistline. No point. All lost.
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11/14/2022
No weigh in
It’s only 1 and I’ve already binged so much
Morning
Small bowl of cereal
Coffee with creamer
KitKat
Sweet bread
Mandarin cuties 2
1 orange
About 3 servings of chocolate covered almonds
1 hugeeee guava
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11/11/2022
No weigh in
1 big full bowl of cereal
Black coffee with zero cal sugar
1 Girl Scout cookie
2 plums
1 bite or gingerbread cookie
Half coffee with creamer
4 pretzels
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Just remember what he did. You could do better. I can be better.
He’s not in control of me. I am better than he. Than her.
I hate myself.
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