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[somraj-jade]

Animal, I vowed not to get on the internest again, but sneaked away from Elli’s clinic to see if there’s good news for us floating around. And well, I could not resist coming to your little nest, to see what you have to say about all that’s been happening to us. Well, and never did I think I’d say this to you- your words make my eyes water. Yes, let’s hope that Francine will ask the angels and gods to help us live amidst the Apokalis, to never give up. The cycle may never end, but perhaps Francine will talk nonstop to those godly beings up there and convince them to try harder.

Till next time

so that’s it i guess. Khaupur has a whole lot of gratitude they owe to zafar and everyone that had a hand in the hunger strike. it gave the people what they needed, a fighting chance. never have i seen so strongly the power of nothing. in the end, saint zafar needed no signs, no shouting, no violence. he used nothing but his own body as the most effective weapon in the entire city to fight the lawyers and the CM.

i wish you were here to see this Ma. i wish you could have witnessed the glory that you deserved to share in like we have. but there are more like us out there. spread out all over. ask the big man up there to help, will ya ma?

tomorrow may be a new day but it’s an old story, the story of other kingdoms of poor. let my words stay with you eyes, continue my fight. end the cycle.

[somraj-jade]

The end that is not the end

Zafar and Farouq went on a search for Animal, with Nisha calling behind their backs that they should “not come back ever!!!” if they do not find him. And I guess her words had magical powers- when they came back, they had Animal, looking worse than he had ever before but wearing a silly smile on his face, shouting all sorts of nonsense. He was in paradise, he talked to a lizard who told him that he must be human (I have no idea what he was talking about), that he loves all of us, that I should know that I’m lucky to have Elli doctress as my wife, and finally, that he gives Nisha and Zafar the permission to get married if so they wish. (And I was thinking, who is this little boy to give permission to my daughter to marry?!?) So, he came back to us in one piece...almost. I do not know what happened in that little, crazy excursion of his, but he claims that he no longer wants or needs the surgery. Elli was crushed, as she wanted to help him get back on his two feet, quite literally. But I was secretly pleased...Animal has come to terms with himself. He knows that his being on all fours means nothing, that it should not dictate how he looks at himself. He says that he will invest the money he has saved for his back surgery (I had no idea that he had money saved and tucked away some place...is this for real?) towards a “fund” he will set up for Anjali, the little girl who works in a brothel he “happened to” drop by some time ago. (Who just “happens” to drop by a brothel, I wondered. I did not say anything, though. I suspect that Farouq took him there...) So, that was that. Animal would eventually free Anjali, bring her into the fold, and let her live as a free woman. Good, good.

The fight is still on going. We were able to prevent the deal from being struck, but this does not mean anything. We are back to where we started- we still wait for the court to reopen our case, to bring the Kampany down here, and to get the justice we deserve. Are we frustrated and sad? Yes, of course. But we will not let our frustration and sadness put the fire out. We will continue to kick and make noise. For when noise stops, everything will really come to an end- an end without any justice whatsoever.

Starting tomorrow, I will resume my music lessons in the mornings. In the afternoons, I will try to help Elli however way I can. In the evenings, I will teach Animal how to hear the music of the world (as he requested). My days and nights will be busy, it seems. So I may not come join you all in this wonderful “internest” where voices submerge into a pulsating symphony of sorts. But I will try to keep you all  posted. Be well. Remember us. Talk about us. Remember that there are, and will be more of us. Remember that it is you who can help us keep our fight going a little longer.

[somraj-jade]

An ant underfoot, eh? And Somraj-Elli couple is the strangest ever, huh? I’m not sure how to respond to either of those comments...but I can say for sure, that the strange couple will always be there for you. Come by the house, and I’ll show you first by feeding you well. Where the hell have you been today, anyways?

words pierce as daggers do

just about the worst news i’ve just heard. i love nisha, i really do yet i must admit she has crushed my insides right now. she’s just spoken of how she’ll be going to amrika before i so that she can meet elli’s parents. worst of all is that elli has promised to do the very same things in amrika as she promised to do with me..but like always i’ve to wait. somraj and elli are to be married, stranger couples are hard to find but it’s true i’ve seen this one coming for awhile. crushed is my spirit as an ant underfoot

[somraj-jade]

Oh, I’m sure that Zafar knows the importance of money...he does fundraisings for those of us who need financial assistance, doesn’t he now? And he goes around other cities, looking for people willing to bless us with some of their money to be used for our cause. He’ s not always successful, I guess, because it’s not every time he comes back with a happy smile on his face. But he tries. And he knows that we can’t really fight this fight with no rupee to our names.

what’s the difference between you and me

speaking to elli has really made me think, or maybe just think about thinking. she say i can be an intellectual, if i had been born in amrika i always wouldve walked on two legs. money makes the difference. some people say money doesn’t matter, most days id agree. is it not i who was learned how to get by on just four rupees a day? sure it’s not needed but who the fuck am i to say that i wouldnt like a little more? who is anyone to be so full of themselves that they could ignore the certain truth that more money is a downright good thing…well zafar maybe but he doesn’t count

[somraj-jade]

Seriously, Animal, we need to get you another pair of paints. Those kakadus are getting too filthy, even for you.... I almost wish the kakadus DID tear on this day...one of those days, I am going to lend you a pair of my own and have the kakadus washed, at least.

i gotta say ive still no idea about what this surprise is that farouq has planned but so far im loving today! colors and drinks and noise, so excited im by the ladies walking by that my kakadus are gonna tear! hahaha

[somraj-jade]

Animal...! Yes, I did it twice...(sigh). And I’ll do everything in my power to find you the right one. Perhaps I can start by adding some rupees to your “save Anjali” fund.

So Somraj and Elli are getting married, crazy. I should be happy for them, but for some reason I’m not. I guess it’s because of how unfair it all is. Everybody else is finding love, and I’m just stuck as a loner. Hell, Somraj did it twice, and I can’t even once? What a load of bullshit. Everyone else is happy, but I’m just reminded of the animal I really am.

[somraj-jade]

Animal, you are quite right. The CM does not care about us. He does not work for us, but for the State. The State has no interest in protecting us, the dirt poor....so why should the CM even feel like he should make decisions in our interests (much less our BEST interest!)...? He IS fucking us over. I’ve been thinking the same for over a decade now, but did not want to admit it. I am glad that you spoke so bluntly, of such injustices. You’re a good one, you are. Your “bad language” is so cathartic- don’t ever change, you Animal!

The CM is such a spineless waste of space. We all know he’s locked up in there screwing all of us over, and he doesn’t even have the nerve to come out and face the people? He said that every decision will be in our best interest, but anyone could know that’s bullshit. Every decision will be in his wallet’s best interest. He’ll beat us and arrest us, but he won’t look us in the eye and tell us how he’s fucking us over.

[somraj-jade]

Animal, a lot have happened after you made this sad comment. Have you changed your mind about Elli yet? Do you know her true intentions now? (I think she was the one in the burka, don’t you? We should keep it a secret, but I think that is the truth...)

At last

Finally Nisha understands that Elli Barber is not as bad as everyone portrays her to be.

[somraj-jade]

Elli is perturbed that Animal no longer wishes to straighten his back. I was slightly puzzled for a short while, but came to realize that Animal has finally come to terms with his own self and feels no need to “fix” his back. It no longer needs “fixing,” as it’s not a problem for him. “Animal, don’t you want to walk on your two feet? I thought that was what you wanted,” I asked, just to make sure that I wasn’t wrong and he wasn’t saying all that simply because the procedure was too expensive. If that were the case I would try to come up with a way to raise that money. After all, it’s Animal who brought Elli and I together..Zafar would probably help, too. “Nah, Pandit Somraj,” Animal started, “it’s alright. I already walk fine with my two feet and two hands. I can’t really ride a bike, but I can have Farouq carry me around when he does. I’m good. And besides, my name is Animal. I’m Animal, and I’m fierce and free on two or four feet. Why not on four feet, then? What’s so wrong about going on all fours anyway? It’s fine. I’m good.” So I guess it’s good. “Alright, then. I shall stop asking.” Animal didn’t answer but just nodded.

Animal will be unbelievably excited when he hears this news! I gave the data about Animal to a hospital back in America to see if it was even possible to fix his back. The hospital sent this letter and it says there is a possibility. But, there are some roadblocks like trying to come up with the money, we are also a long way off of actual surgery, we don’t know how many procedures Animal will need or what the procedure involves, and Animal will have to come to America with me and he will need months or even a year or two to recover from this type of surgery. Despite these roadblocks, I hope Animal will get excited and have some hope. He is very unpredictable most of the time.   

[somraj-jade]

Mother Francine

It broke everyone’s heart when Animal asked about Ma Franci. “Where is she? Is she alright,” he said. There was a long silence, before someone broke the silence and told him what happened. I wanted to hug him and tell him that Ma was a heroine who went out with a bang. She wasn’t the lost, rambling soul she’d been for the least two decades that day. She was the Franci we all knew and loved, the Franci who talked to us in Hindi, the Franci who worked so hard for our well being, the Franci who wanted to make sure that we’d live a full life before going to heaven and becoming angels-- as Hindus, Muslims, Catholics, or whatever. She didn’t care if we’d converted to her religion or not. It didn’t matter that we believed in ten thousand gods but not hers. She wanted us to live, she wanted all of us to avoid the toxic wrath of the second Night. And she made that happen. Hadn’t it been for Ma, more harm would have been done. “Cover your eyes and hold your breath! Run! Run as far as you can! Don’t stop even if you bump into someone. Don’t uncover those eyes!!” she hollered. I did not know that she could yell so loud. She didn’t have her eyes covered, though. She had to keep them open, to make sure that we’d keep them closed. Francine will be greatly missed. She came a stranger, but left a friend and family.

[somraj-jade]

We were worried for both you and Zafar. We know that you hide a strong fighter in all of your jokes and sarcasm, and we appreciate that fighter (perhaps more than the clown) in you.

Recognition

I know that Zafar is the leader and started the strike yet I feel that people forgot that I participated. Unlike most of you I did not fear death. Would be nice to be notice for what I did.

[somraj-jade]

Nisha, let’s not call our demonstration a “riot!” That is precisely what the politicians call them, and the word has such a negative connotation...they probably use it to demean us, our cause, and our fight. But yes, I agree. we will not back down on this injustice. We will try to stop them from making the deal. We will NOT BE SILENT. Silence will mean submission. Khaufpuris do not submit to corrupt politicians!

Join us outside the CM’s house for one of our last riots! This politician needs to learn that the people of Kaufpur won’t back down to this injustice! We have fought too hard and too long to be silenced by this “deal” that he is striking with the lawyers. 

[somraj-jade]

I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt until I know more, my dear daughter. I am greatly appreciative of your concern for your old man, though. I know that you are angry because you love your father.

The traitor

I heard today that Elli is apart of the Kampani. I can not believe it! She was going to be apart of my family and I had finally just started to trust her again. Now I am disgusted with her. How could she betray us!? How could she betray my father? What humane person would do that!? What a sick person she must be. 

[somraj-jade]

You slapped the guy?

Zafar came back to life. Or it felt like he came back to life, as we had all believed him to be dead. And it was quite interesting, talking to this resurrected man, who did not get to see how enraged and enflamed the news of the deal and his death had made all of us Khaufpuris. I was telling him about that chaotic day, when someone chimed in, “And Zafar, guess what! Somraj slapped Fatlu! You should have seen him in action! He said, ‘You are a DISGRACE,’ with such contempt in his face...then he slapped the man right across his face!! We could hear the slap from miles away, no kidding.” Zafar chuckled, and turned to wink at me. I did not wink back, but smiled. “Well,” Zafar said, “Somraj probably had a perfectly good reason...” to which I replied, “Of course. The man was beating everyone. He was torturing helpless people. He pushed Nisha so hard that she fell to the ground. She was bleeding, for god’s sake. He almost killed Animal, throwing blows that not even a full-grown man could endure. I could not let Fatlu harm any more people. I could not let him get away with violence. I know I said that violence should not be met with violence, and I still stand by my conviction that we should not give the CM or any other powerful person an excuse to call us terrorists, but at that moment, I just could not control myself. I assure you that this will not happen again, though. I did not enjoy slapping that man.” Zafar winked again, and said, “Well, we know where Nisha’s hot temper comes from, now.” Yes, Nisha gets her hot temper from me. I just hope that she will never have to resort to violence to make a point. I slapped a man out of fury. But I do not believe that fury will help us get the justice we want. We SHOULD feel angry, but we can’t slap the Kampany enough to get them to court. Violence is not the solution to our problems.

[somraj-jade]

No, Nisha, promises are often broken. I say that promises are meant to be kept, because I believe that they should be kept. And dearest, I am glad that Zafar ended up keeping your promise to you. He came back, although exhausted and drained of all energy, to you. I cannot explain how happy his return makes me. As for my promise to never marry again...I can only hope that you will forgive me one day. I will, however, keep my promise to keep you safe. This is a promise I made to myself when you were born, and again, on that “Night” when the world seemed to be ending. I will keep this promise as if my life depended on it.

Promises

“NO DEAL! NO DEAL! NO DEAL!”

I can still hear the devastated and angry voices of people…even though several days have passed since the day. The voices say, or rather, they scream, “NO DEAL! NO DEAL! NO DEAL!” We had learned that the judge who was so gracious to grant us some hope in getting justice, had been transferred to another city. And that the Kampany had sent people to make some kind of a deal with the state. The promise had been broken. I do not blame the judge, for he is just another cog in the machine. He has no real power, although he does hold a gavel, in the greater scheme of things. He’s employed by the government, so when the government tells him to go move to another city, he must do as told. He can’t say, “but I’ve made a promise to these poor Khaufpuris, I must stay and make sure to keep this promise.” He can’t say, “I leave, but please keep the promise I made them.” Sad, how things work. Promises must be kept, for otherwise, things start to fall apart. Things fall apart when you are not true to your word. Well, things have been falling apart, from that the “Night” then on. Or the falling of things began even earlier, on that day when the Kampnay came to Khaufpur with a promise they never meant to keep. The promise that we’d be become rich, and enriched, with the “guidance” of the Kampnay. That promise was never kept. Things are falling apart fast. We sit in a rumble of fallen pieces and broken bits from all the promises nobody ever kept. But we will not sit in silence. Promises are meant to be kept.

[somraj-jade]

Promises

“NO DEAL! NO DEAL! NO DEAL!”

I can still hear the devastated and angry voices of people...even though several days have passed since the day. The voices say, or rather, they scream, “NO DEAL! NO DEAL! NO DEAL!” We had learned that the judge who was so gracious to grant us some hope in getting justice, had been transferred to another city. And that the Kampany had sent people to make some kind of a deal with the state. The promise had been broken. I do not blame the judge, for he is just another cog in the machine. He has no real power, although he does hold a gavel, in the greater scheme of things. He’s employed by the government, so when the government tells him to go move to another city, he must do as told. He can’t say, “but I’ve made a promise to these poor Khaufpuris, I must stay and make sure to keep this promise.” He can’t say, “I leave, but please keep the promise I made them.” Sad, how things work. Promises must be kept, for otherwise, things start to fall apart. Things fall apart when you are not true to your word. Well, things have been falling apart, from that the “Night” then on. Or the falling of things began even earlier, on that day when the Kampnay came to Khaufpur with a promise they never meant to keep. The promise that we’d be become rich, and enriched, with the “guidance” of the Kampnay. That promise was never kept. Things are falling apart fast. We sit in a rumble of fallen pieces and broken bits from all the promises nobody ever kept. But we will not sit in silence. Promises are meant to be kept.

[somraj-jade]

I am afraid that Animal is right. The death of one man will not change the Kampany’s policies for Khaufpur. It’ll just feel relieved that the pesky activist is gone. What it does not know, is that there will be others like Zafar. We won’t let Zafar’s life go to waste by giving up on everything. There will be rage, and there will be consequences.

My idiot rival

Oh Zafar. You idiot. It pains me to see you in this state. I feel proud of you for a moment but then i remember the pain you’re causing with your little suicide mission with this hunger strike. You’re very strong ill give you that but your strength is killing you.