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Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

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Let's talk about the Eurovision 2025 results.

No, not those results.

THESE results.

For the first time in history, a novelty song has cracked the top five not once, but twice. That's a moment that deserves recognition. Let's talk about why.

Comedy is an art, and beyond that, it's an art that's uniquely got its finger on the pulse of society. You may have heard the theory that you can tell a lot about a culture’s collective anxieties at any given point in history by looking at the kind of horror media they create. I contend that you can tell a lot about society’s overall mindset and opinions on positions of power by looking at the kind of comedy they create. Because while drama is the genre of the powerful and the elite, comedy is the genre of the people. You can tell a lot about what the common people deem important in the role of society by the kind of comedy they create and support. 

That's why it's so important to recognize that in this moment in history, people chose to support these two entries and give them a top five finish.

Sweden, a country historically known for bland formulaic pop sung in English, sent a comedy trio singing in a Swedish dialect. And it got the whole world dancing together during a time when global tensions are at their peak.

Estonia brought us a goofy song about coffee, but more than that, a veiled satire of hustle culture and celebrity influencers--and according to some, celebrity politicians. As an American, my view on this is probably a bit different from the European audience's, but I think we can all agree that collectively, humanity is tired of tech bros, hustlers, and celebrity businessmen, and that's why we voted to watch them get made fun of. And that to me says that we're ready for revolution.

These two entries placing this highly in a competition that tolerates novelty but doesn't often rank it highly proves, once and for all, that comedy is a valid art form and that comedy belongs at Eurovision and always has, no matter what anyone says.

And let's not forget the other incredible novelty entries (I'm counting Laika Party because it's very unconventional and follows a lot of comedy conventions) that we saw this year, that may not have made it to the top but also proved that this art form matters and people want to see it succeed.

In such a god-awful results year, we can still be happy that for once, a genre that isn't often taken seriously and given the appreciation it deserves actually was. This has set a precedent and I, for one, am thrilled.

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when malta sang about serving cunt, the song was about them

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The six horsemen of Eurovision

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Thank fuck Isreal didn't win. I didn't like Austria very much but that's way better than the alternative.

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I have never been so relieved in my life.

My poor heart

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United by music, divided by juries

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The Kaarija/Baby Lasagna interlude, which is better than the entire evening. The GOATS, really!

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BABY LADAGNA VS KÄÄRIJÄ

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the neon... the heavy bass... the homoeroticism!

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Käärijä and Baby Lasagna = the best performance of the night

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This is so fucking phenomenal I don’t even have a post for it. God damn. The best interval act I have EVER SEEN. THIS IS THE BEST THING THEY COULD HAVE DONE.

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HAZEL DOING WHAT WE ALL WANT TO DO

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They should make out at the end

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Now THIS is Eurovision

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The UK contestants remind me of those girls who followed Gaston around in Beauty and the Beast.