sophierequests-trashblog - Tumblr blog

sophierequests-trashblog · 3 years ago

Note

Congratulations on 2.5k!!

Can I request a 🖋 with Kaz Brekker, where the reader normally spends every evening in his office. One time the reader isn’t there so he goes and looks for her. He finds her drunk at the bar and it leads to a confession from the reader

thank you so much, darling! i loved this request and I hope you like it! warnings: mentions of being drunk

He didn't care

Kaz was sitting on the edge of his chair, drumming his fingers on the wood of his desk. In front of him lay this month’s numbers, ready to be worked through and put with the rest of them. But they had not been read or even glanced at for the last half hour as Kaz contemplated what to do.

He didn’t care. Really, he did not.

Kaz bit the inside of his mouth, trying to ban out the thoughts that were interrupting his logical sense. It was just that you never not showed up without telling him first. Most nights you were right there with him, doing something else but still there. Sometimes you would have a book with you, reading aloud the quotes you thought were memorable.

Without wanting to, Kaz’s eyes fell to the bottom drawer of his desk, where he held a notebook with the lines you read to him. It was locked away, the key locked behind another lock, but it was there nonetheless. He only took it out after you were gone, wrote down the quote, and immediately put it back. He hadn’t actually looked at it in forever.

Other nights you would entertain Kaz by telling stories of the Dregs and the stupid things they had done. Or you would annoy him until he paid attention to you. He was sure that you didn’t know you always already had his attention.

He didn’t care.

Sure, having you in his office had grown such a custom to him that he found it hard to concentrate when you weren’t there. He missed someone he could look at as he thought, someone who would grin when he met their gaze, someone who would laugh at his concentrated face. He found out long ago that he needed that to keep him sharp and you had been the only someone who did that to him.

But that did not mean he cared. No, that just meant that he had grown used to something. It wasn’t even necessarily a bad thing, because he could still do his work when you were not there. Although, admittedly, he had not even looked at the work that was waiting for him.

You always told him when you would not be around. And when you were late, you were never this late. Kaz worried something had happened to you.

Wondered.

He wondered if something had happened to you. But if it had, he had to make sure you were alright. Not because he cared, but because you were working for him. If he thought another Dreg had gotten hurt, he would have checked them too. Right?

Ignoring the voice that was screaming denial to that in the back of his head, Kaz got up from the chair. He reached for his cane and hesitated for a moment. Maybe you were avoiding him. Maybe you had deliberately stayed away from him. Of course, he could always have done something that had offended you. Though he always tried his best, it would not be the first time. But usually you still came to him. Furious and demanding an apology, but you still came.

Sighing deeply, Kaz grabbed his cane and marched to the door of his office. Whatever it was that had happened, he would search for you. To make sure you were unharmed or to let you yell at him. In the end, it didn’t really matter. He just wanted to find you.

Maybe he cared a little bit.

--- --- ---

It did not take long for Kaz to spot you in the club. You were sitting in the middle of the bar, drink in your hand, drunken smile on your face. You were talking enthusiastically with the person on your left and Kaz stood still and watched you for a while.

So you weren’t hurt. Nor did it seem like you were angry at Kaz. You had just chosen getting drunk over spending another night in Kaz’s dull office. He couldn’t blame you for that, but it did not soothe the heavy feeling in Kaz’s belly.

At last, he walked closer. He wasn’t even sure why. His brain wanted to turn around and go back to the work that was waiting for him, but his feet moved without listening. Sooner than he liked, he was standing closely behind you, able to hear everything that you said.

“Like I will ever admit it,” you said, your voice grave despite the smile that Kaz had seen on your face before. “Can you imagine how he would react? I don’t even know if he likes me—I think I just annoy him. How could I ever confess… whatever it is I’m feeling?”

You shook your head. “No, he would just laugh at me, I am sure.”

Kaz frowned, the heavy set in his belly only growing heavier. You had feelings for someone? He wanted to laugh. Of course, you were bound to like someone. Just because you spent your nights with Kaz, did not mean that you had no life outside of that. Frankly, it was quite selfish of him to think that just because you spent some time together he meant something important to you. In the end, he was just the person you were working for.

Painfully aware of his own thoughts, Kaz wanted to turn away and pretend like nothing had ever happened. Before he could, however, the person at your left noticed him and it was too late.

“Kaz!” you said, your eyes wide upon seeing him behind you. You put down your drink and stared at him for a moment. Then some sort of understanding flickered behind your eyes and your pinched the bridge of your nose. “I am so sorry! I forgot the time and then… well, I forgot everything all together.”

Though everything inside Kaz was in conflict, he had to bite his tongue to hide his smile at your adorable state. Cursing himself for even thinking that, he closed his eyes momentarily and shook his head. “It is fine, really. We never promised anything.”

The words came out with difficulty. You did never promise anything, that was true, but the turn of phrase was like a fist to Kaz’s stomach.

“No, that’s not fair,” you said, standing up from your stool. “I’ll go with you now, no point in that.”

“You don’t have to.” Kaz watched you intently, wary of the way you were swaying on your feet. “I have work to do anyway.”

“I want to.”

You spoke with resolution and in the end, Kaz did not even try to fight it. He just nodded curtly and turned around, not caring if you followed him or not. Well, not not caring.

You did follow him, however, and closed the door behind you in his office. While Kaz sat behind his desk, the same place he had made the terrible decision to look for you, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“I like the smell of your office,” you said, taking a seat across from Kaz.

Kaz finally grabbed the papers on his desk and began to read them, but his eyes kept trailing to you, as you looked around the office as if you were there for the first time.

“Why?”

You fixed your gaze on Kaz. It was surprisingly clear compared to how you had acted down in the club. “It smells like you.”

Kaz froze. That was not the answer he had expected. Not from you, not ever. He clenched his jaw and forced himself to speak. “I suppose it does, considering it is my office.”

You squeezed your eyes at him, but Kaz quickly turned back to the paper in his hand. If this was how it would be the entire night, he was not sure he could make it through.

Luckily, you stayed silent for a while and Kaz tried quickly to do his work. The truth was that he kept staring at you and after half an hour he was still no further from when he had started. Sighing, he threw the paper on his desk and rubbed his hands over his face.

You looked up and cleared your throat with a small smile. “You heard me at the bar, didn’t you?”

Kaz, who had been expecting you to make a comment on his tired state, frowned. He thought about lying, but figured that he might as well hear the whole truth now. Get it over with. “I did, yes.”

“I guess you have some questions then.” You had turned away from Kaz, instead staring at a little thread on your sleeve.

“Why would I?”

You frowned. “You don’t have any questions?”

“I don’t see why I would have.” Kaz ran a hand through his hair. His throat was dry. “If you—If you genuinely like this guy, I do not think he will laugh at you.”

“Just like you are not laughing at me right now?”

“I am not laughing. Why would I laugh?”

You opened and closed your mouth and then you shook your head. “I suppose you’re not.”

Kaz stared at his hands that he had laid on the desk. His fingers were clasped together, squeezing tightly to take away the strange feeling in the rest of his body. He didn’t know why this was bothering him so much. Had he not proven that he did not care?

You said nothing else as you kept staring down. For a long time it was silent, with nothing but the noises of the club from downstairs.

“Can I ask you something?” Kaz eventually asked. “Why do you think you annoy this guy?”

“Do I not?”

“I don’t know.”

You looked up. “Well, do I annoy you?”

“No, you do not.” Kaz shook his head. “But why does it matter what I think?”

You kept staring at Kaz, biting your bottom lip. Then you said softly, “Kaz, you do know that ‘the guy’ is you, right?”

Kaz went rigid and his mind stopped working for a second. He blinked once, twice, and looked at you with wide eyes. “What?”

You let out a small laugh. “You said you overheard me! I was clearly talking about you!”

“I did not hear everything!”

Kaz’s tongue felt twice as big as normal. He didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know what to do with the light feeling in his stomach. Didn’t know how to put his own feelings to words. How could he when he had only just realised their meaning?

“I…” he started but stopped. You leaned forward in your chair, watching Kaz with wide pupils. “Do you… I also…”

You raised your eyebrows. “You also?”

For a long time, Kaz looked at you and finally he nodded. “Yes.”

You tutted with your tongue and leaned back in your chair. You seemed just as unsure as Kaz of what to do.

“So you are really not laughing at me?”

“I am not.”

“And I do not annoy you?”

Kaz could no longer bite down his smile. Though his cheeks hurt, his hands were trembling, and his head was whirling with a million thoughts, it felt right. “You could never.”

He did really care, after all.

——

SoC taglist: @is-it-really-a-secret @mrs-brekker15 @dandyylions @xxinvisiblexx

682 notes · View notes

sophierequests-trashblog · 3 years ago

Text

Drunken words - Kaz Brekker

Request: yes "Hi, I have just binge read almost all of your shadow and bone one shots and was wondering if you could do one where f!reader goes out drinking with Nina and when she comes back drunk she accidentally confesses her love for Kaz but doesn’t remember it when she wakes up and Kaz doesn’t mention it but he also loves her?" Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: You wake up with a pounding headache and some very vague memories of the night before. Luckily Nina is there to help you remember Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking, language Word count: A/N: mmm see this? this request right here? I like it 😌 thanks for requesting it! TAG LIST (grishaverse): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 @marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess TAG LIST (kaz brekker): @mufnasa @Janesofia7 @stairscortana @parker-natasha @illicitghosts @brick-by-brick553 add yourself to my tag lists here

Every last Friday of the month, you go out for drinks with Nina. It's a tradition you started a while back. You'd gotten back from a particular rough job, and Nina suggested to go and have a drink. The others were tired, so you were the only one to accompany her. Ever since, the two of you go out every last Friday of the month.

Sometimes you both make it back in time, sometimes you don't show up til morning. And sometimes you're leaning heavily on each other, giggling and laughing.

The crows didn't mind now, though they were a bit concerned at the beginning. But after you showed them that even drunk, Jesper is only a slightly better shot than you are, they trusted you to come back home alright.

On one Friday night, you and Nina stumble into the kitchen of the Slat somewhere around 2 am. You're surprised to see it's not empty.

Kaz is sitting in one of the chairs, and he looks up when you and Nina try to silently enter the building. You fail when you stumble and squeal as you hold on to Nina's arm to prevent yourself from falling.

Nina seemed to be less drunk than you are. At least she can stand on her own feet.

Kaz' eyes follow you as Nina drags you to the kitchen to get you a glass of water, hoping it would sober you up a little.

You hop on the counter and take the glass from Nina without protest. When you look at Kaz, you see he's turned his gaze away from you.

'Aren't you going to ask if we had fun?' you say, pouting slightly.

Kaz looks at you. You're wearing a dress that's only reserved for nights out with Nina. You're also wearing heels and though you'd styled your hair nicely before you went out, it's now messy as it falls over your shoulders.

'You look like you had fun.' says Kaz. 'But I'll ask anyway. Did you have fun?'

'Yesss.' you say, dragging out the word. You don't look up when Nina puts a new glass of water in your hand.

'You should come sometimes.' you say to Kaz.

He merely raises an eyebrow, and doesn't answer you.

'I don't think Kaz is the type of person who goes out a lot.' says Nina.

'But it's fun!' you say somewhat offendedly. 'If anyone needs to let loose every once in a while, it's Kaz.'

'How so?' says Nina, chuckling.

'His jaw is always clenched.' you point out.

'No it's not.' says Kaz.

You nod, smiling happily. 'Yea it is! Don't think I wouldn't notice, I look at you a lot.' you say.

'Do you, now?' says Kaz, not paying much attention to you, as you're drunk and probably not aware of what you're saying.

'Most of the time. All of the time.' you say. 'Just a lot, really.'

'You're drunk, Y/N.' says Kaz. 'You should go to bed.'

'Night's not over yet!' you say and you jump off the counter, spilling some of the water on yourself. 'We could still go out! You should join us, Kaz.'

'I think you should go to bed, Y/N.' says Nina.

You glare at her over your shoulder. 'Buzz killer.' you say.

Nina puts up her hands in defence. 'I'm just saying tonight I'm not going out anymore, I'm going to bed. And you should too.' she says.

When she walks past you, she gives you a new glass of water. You're not aware of taking it, but you drink half of it anyway.

'Nina, you should stay.' you say when she walks to the door. 'Don't leave me alone with Kaz!'

'Why not?' says Kaz immediately, his curiosity getting the better of him.

You turn to him, then back to Nina. 'Nina! Don't leave me alone with Kaz, you know I say stupid shit when I'm drunk!' you say.

She looks over her shoulder. 'You say a lot of things when you're drunk, Y/N. At least drunk words are sober thoughts.' she says as she walks away.

'Nina come back! I might end up exposing myself!' you say.

This makes Nina stop and turn around. She looks at you and frowns.

'Expose yourself how?' she says.

'I might tell Kaz I love him.' you whisper, loud enough for everyone to hear.

You see Nina's eyes go wide. Before you can say anything, or turn around to look at Kaz, Nina's marched up to you, grabbed a hold of your arm and is pulling you up the stairs.

In the doorway, you look over your shoulder at Kaz.

There's an odd expression on his face you can't quite read, you've never seen it before. He doesn't look at you as you start to walk up the stairs with Nina's help.

You barely register anything after that moment, the exhaustion suddenly kicking in. You fall down on your bed without even taking your heels off.

The next morning, you wake with a pounding headache despite all the water Nina made you drink. You push yourself up in a sitting position and rub your head.

None of the crows had been so stupid to wake you. Everyone knew the last Friday of the month was spent drinking, and the morning after it would be unwise to wake you or Nina before noon.

After stripping off your tight dress and heels, you take a hot bath, scrubbing all of the sweat of last night off of your skin.

You get dressed in comfortable clothes and head downstairs to get a big cup of coffee.

But when you want to enter the kitchen, you are met by Nina standing in the doorway.

'Oh good, you're up.' she says.

'Morning.' you say. 'How's your headache?'

'Almost over.' she says. 'Don't go into the kitchen.'

'Why not?' you say, frowning.

'Because Kaz is there.' says Nina.

'What, is he in a bad mood or something?' you say.

'No. But he hasn't said anything all morning.' she says.

'So he's normal.' you say, pushing past Nina.

She attempts to stop you, but you walk away from her, straight to the fresh pot of coffee. You pour yourself a generous amount of it, and then sit at the same table Kaz is sitting at.

He looks at you, but doesn't say anything.

'You good?' you say after a while. 'I'm sure that's the longest you've ever looked at me. Have I got something on my face?'

Kaz shakes his head.

'Then why are you looking at me like that?' you say.

'Do you remember anything from last night?' asks Kaz.

You squint your eyes, trying to remember.

'Nina and I played card games with some Zemeni tourists. They lost. Then we lost. Then we lost again. I don't think I threw up, though. I remember walking back to the Slat and going to bed.' you say.

'That's all?' says Kaz.

'Yeah, I think that's it.' you say. 'Why?'

'Just curious.' says Kaz.

'You're never just curious, Kaz, you always have a reason. What's this all about?' you say.

'Fine.' he says. 'I have a bet with Jesper, how much you would remember. It appears he needs to pay me.'

He gets up and without another word, he leaves the room. Your eye catches Nina's gaze and you shrug, turning back to your coffee.

'Did I do something stupid last night?' you say. Most of the times when you got drunk, you did stupid stuff. You wonder if last night would have been any different.

'Well.' says Nina as she sits down in front of you. 'That depends.'

'On what?' you say as you finish your coffee.

'You should talk to Kaz about that.' says Nina. 'He doesn't have a bet with Jesper.'

'Then why would he leave like that?' you say.

'Again, you should talk to him about that.' says Nina.

'What aren't you telling me, Nina?' you say.

You see her debating wether or not she should tell you.

'Tell me or I'll tell everything how horrible you dance when you get drunk.' you threaten.

'You told kaz you love him.' she blurts out.

Your eyes widen. 'Oh no.' you say. 'No, no, no, I did not. Fuck.'

'Well, you didn't exactly tell him. You told me not to leave you alone because you might end up telling him.' says Nina

You bury your face in your hands. 'Oh, Saints, this is bad.' you say. 'This is really fucking bad.'

'How so?' says Nina.

'He's still technically our boss, Nina. And there's no way he has the same feelings for me.' you say.

'You won't know unless you ask him.' says Nina.

'What would I even say to him?' you say.

Nina shrugs. 'Well you could sit here thinking about it, or go up to his office and talk to him.' she says.

You shake your head and rub a hand over your face. 'Fuck.' you mutter. 'You're probably right.'

'I always am, darling.' says Nina.

You finish your cup of coffee and get up. Nina gestures for you to start walking. You head to the stairs and walk them as slowly as you can.

Would he be mad? What if things would forever be awkward between the two of you? Maybe if you were fast, you could still take it back. You were drunk, you could tell him you didn't mean it.

You stop in front of the door to Kaz' office. You determinedly raise a hand to knock on it, but your fist only hovers mid-air.

'It helps if you actually knock.'

You jump slightly at the sound of a voice. When you turn around, you see Kaz standing behind you.

'Or you could just go in if you have a key.' he says, walking up to the door and pulling out his key.

You're at loss for words, watching as Kaz opens the door and head inside. You're still standing in the doorway when Kaz looks up.

'You can come in, you know.' he says.

You enter his office and slowly close the door. He did not seem bothered by last night at all.

'We need to talk.' you say.

Kaz looks at you and merely raises an eyebrow at you. He gestures to the chair in front of his desk and you sit down.

'About last night.' you say. 'Nina told me what I said. I didn't say it to you, but, well I might as well have. I was drunk and it was stupid, and I'm here to apologise.'

He looks at you and then he starts to smile. Your eyes widen a bit, you'd never seen Kaz smile. Let alone smile at you.

'Are you okay?' you say hesitantly.

'Y/N, I wasn't in my office when you got here because I was at your door.' says Kaz, his words taking you by surprise.

'Why?' you wonder out loud.

'I was going to bring you a glass of water, Nina once told me it helps when you're hungover.' says Kaz.

Your lips part in surprise. 'You were?' you say.

'That saying Nina said last night, drunken words are sober thoughts? Well, I'm glad your drunken self decided to speak the truth last night.' says Kaz.

You stare at him, not sure you heard it correctly. Kaz pulls a stack of papers toward him and begins to read through them. He doesn't tell you that you need to go, so you decide to keep him company while he works.

Who knew a night out with Nina could lead to something like this?

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

244 notes · View notes