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soranim · 4 years ago

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crossroads.

today was gonna be a good day, she woke up before noon and she had no prior commitments to anyone. she gets to do whatever she pleases and choose what to do with her time. she had the whole day to herself and her adorable cat, salem, whom she felt like she hasn’t spent enough time with lately since she had been going out more often. when things were becoming too good to be true, she received a text from none other than her mother. just seeing the name pop up on her phone soured her mood almost instantly. the content of the text, however, would only turn everything about today absolutely bitter.

sora couldn’t believe what her mother texted, having to read it over and over again for it to make sense. she was felt sick to her stomach that she was being threatened to be kicked out of the apartment if she doesn’t attend classes this coming fall semester. it had been over a year since she last stepped foot inside the university, taking a break due to the emotional distress she experienced at the loss of her father. now, she’s being forced to finish her classes to graduate. granted, sora should have expected this day to come considering her mother was the one who was paying for her apartment this entire time, but there was still a speck of hope that her mother wouldn’t resort to this.

as soon as she received the text, sora drove to her mother’s house as fast as she could. it was almost a miracle that she made it safely or that she wasn’t asked to be stopped by police. it had been a long time since she laid eyes on the house she grew up in, as well as the woman who “raised” her. there was almost a stinging pain on her chest while she stood outside, some memories of her childhood rushing back to her, and it felt as though her feet were made of concrete when she tried to walk closer to the front door.

sora pushed those thoughts aside to bring herself to come forward, being greeted by one of the maids, she was then led to her mother’s study upstairs where she was just sitting there by her black oak wood table, signing papers sora didn’t really care about. looking as calm and collected as ever, as if she didn’t try to turn her daughter’s life upside down. before sora could even muster the courage to speak up, her mother beat her to it — as usual.

“you’re finally here.” her mother began speaking without even looking up at her. “come, have a seat.”

“no, i won’t be staying for long.” sora refused the offer and walked a few steps further in just to get a bit closer to the desk. having a better look at her mother had her feeling like something was stuck at her throat and she almost felt out of breath. “i just wanna know…” she hated how shaky her voice sounded, her hands curling into a tight fist to try to control herself from bursting out her emotions right in front of her mother. “why are you doing this? just why?”

“you don’t answer any of my texts nor any of my calls… how am i supposed to know you’re still alive? you left me no choice.” her mother’s head finally moved away from the papers on her desk and her gaze falls upon her daughter. sora could almost swear she saw her mother’s lip twitch for a smile really quickly — or was that a smirk? “but look at you now. you’ve gotten prettier. a bit rounder, but at your age, i’m sure you can shed it off quickly.”

a scoff rolls past her tongue out of annoyance, her eyes rolling as she looks elsewhere for a moment, biting her tongue to keep herself from saying anything she might regret. on her way to the house, sora had already weighed in the options she have. none of which looked favorable except one option, which was to resume her studies. even though her heart wasn’t completely accepting of the idea, she figured it would be the best way out of her mother’s grip, especially with what she’s going to lay down on her.

“do you have any idea how much of an embarrassment it is that my daughter isn’t attending her classes or performing at all? you’re wasting your talent, you’re wasting your time, and for what—” from there on, she shut out everything her mother was saying. up until this moment, it astonishes sora that her mother’s reputation was all her mother could think about. nothing had changed, even after all these years. her mother never once thought of what sora is feeling or thinking, that is something sora still has to process and accept. perhaps one day she’ll overcome it, but today, she’s biting her tongue a lot.

“look—“ she interrupted her mother’s rambling. “i don’t care about the apartment anymore, i’ll move out soon, and i’ll give you what you want. i’ll go back to studying and graduate at the top of the class, whatever you want, but you have to promise me one thing…” there was a moment of hesitation, the uncertainty of whether it was the right decision to say what she had to say, but she had been thinking about this for quite some time and this is a now or never type of situation.

sora places her palms against the desk and leans down to be closer to her mother’s eye level, wanting to ensure she felt every word she’s about to say. “once i graduate, you’ll leave me alone. i won’t ask for anything else after that. pretend i don’t exist, pretend i’m not your daughter anymore. that should be easy enough, right?” she felt like she was on fire after having the string of words come out of her in front of her mother who was not showing any type of reactions yet and she took the chance to keep going and pour out every last few word she had in mind. “from then on, you’re dead to me. you understand? it’s not open for negotiations, so don’t even try.”

before her mother could even utter another word, she walks out of the room with her head held high and her heart pounding against her chest. once she was out of the room, she was quick to get out of the house and back to her car. inside, she needed a moment to gather her nerves. her hands were practically shaking, and she felt as though there was a heavy weight on her chest. in a matter of moments, her sight became somewhat cloudy as tears started to swell up and came trailing down her cheeks.

#( `memoir. )#d: 210621 #( ok it had been a long time since i wrote one of these )#( and i didn't intend on this being too long fdsd )#( so forgive me for my rusty writing skills i hope it makes sense lol )

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