sordidinvidia-blog

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"As if you would be opposed to anyone hearing how much of a slut you are. Although I suppose your voice more than does that enough for you. How shameless of you. Have you ever thought that I keep saying it to you because you're the type of person that needs it said repeatedly to you before you can believe it? However, perhaps this one time I may acquiesce to your wishes. Where shall it be then? On your desk maybe? Or even in the back alley with your hands behind your back and a ribbon around your cock? You would do best to hold up to those words, Klavier. After all, only heaven can help you if you choose to default on them."

“…Ah, I - Kristoph, please.  Can we - can we save this conversation for somewhere a little more private?  Somebody might hear.  Please, I’m …I’m sorry, alright?  I c-can’t help it.  I’m a repeat offender; I know I’m a slut.  You don’t have to throw that in my face.  I know …that.  I love you too, Kristoph.  I want you always.  In my dreams, right now.  Forever.”

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{ asdhasjdlnkaskld brb crying over the new followers i'm getting i'm totally not deserving of this attention asduasdjnas orz if you're up to plotting or would like a dumb starter of sorts, please let me know ; w ; remember this is a sideblog so I can't follow anyone back <as much as i'd like to> orz }

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{ /fucking sees this like two months later gg me SSSHHHH NO DON'T DO THE THING AHHAHAA } 

[ OKAY PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND FOLLOW sordidinvidia FOR A HILARIOUSLY SASSY AND WONDERFULLY TWISTED KRISTOPH ]

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"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"

"Your idea of seduction leaves much to be desired, little brother." 

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He actually almost manages to look a little coy. Kristoph is beyond amused at the state Klavier has found him in and in a way, it instills a sickening sense of pleasure in him. Klavier really was a dog - rebellious by default but not incredibly difficult to crack with a little bit of training. He's almost scoffing at his brother's childish response before he seemingly rethinks his words, the clinking of ice falling into glass his only answer as he pours his brother a glass of whiskey.

"I thought you might enjoy this one~ 20 year old whiskey. Goes down rather smoothly if I do say so myself." Kristoph announces as he returns to the living room with a whiskey and tea in hand, placing it on top of a coaster and then pushing it towards him with long delicate fingers. 

Klavier pauses for a moment as he takes two teaspoons of sugar and puts it into his tea and stirs it before taking a sip, letting out a content hum before patting Vongole on the head who has come to sit next to her master. "So, how are you feeling?" It's an almost ironic question, considering he knows exactly how Klavier is doing but he asks it anyway - apparently never missing a chance to be irritating. 

Who is the one who made him this way?

Who is the one who has trained him to return to him again and again?   No matter how harsh his brother is, Klavier returns like a dog with his tail in between his legs over and over because he doesn’t know a life apart from this personal hell.  Oh, he knows it’s ‘wrong’.  He knows this kind of behavior is unacceptable between brothers, but who else could possibly love the barely-held-together mess Klavier Gavin is?

He doesn’t want to give Kristoph the satisfaction, but Klavier has already lost; he’s fighting a losing game.  With a short bark of bitter laughter, he runs a hand through similar golden hair.  Oh, the irony.   To wear his hair so similarly like the brother he once idolized.  There’s a part of him that probably still idolizes somewhere; he’s just not good at finding the love beneath it all.  Fury momentarily quelled, he reaches to pet Vongole.  Kristoph likens him to a dog often, but Vongole is most certainly treated much better than Klavier and most people when it comes to Kristoph.  What a surprise.

Groaning, he throws himself on the sofa as he buries his face into a silk throw pillow.  ”I don’t care,” is his childish answer, but he takes it back. After all, Kristoph might enjoy it too much.  ”Fuck it, give me the hardest drink you have.”

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"At the very least, the trash knows it is trash. This shows me that you are capable of learning. You say that you do not need them and yet you seem to find yourself in their arms with their cocks up your ass all the same... sigh. Are you so much of a slut that you enjoy telling your brother that you will be a good little boy and then turn around and suck the nearest cock you can?" I am the only one who will love you despite how filthy you seem to make yourself.

“I - I’m sorry, Kristoph.I know I’m …I’m worthless and I’m not deserving of your apologies, but … I-I don’t have anywhere else to go. Have patience with me; I’m still …learning.  I don’t need Daryan and the others; I won’t …won’t let them fuck me anymore.  Just you. You’re the only one who can love me.  Nobody …else is good enough.

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"Call me AC/DC because I'm gonna rock you all night long."

"More of your cacophonous noise? I’ve no interest in what it is that you call ‘music’."

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"Good boys deserve more than just fudge."

"Is that so? Perhaps you would know if you were a good boy all the time.”

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"I'd like to finger your fret board."

"…If that was an attempt at eloquent flirting, then please dear brother, try again.” 

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"You always make promises but you never managed to keep them. What makes you think I can trust that again? Do I look like I have time for you to be a disappointment to me? And let's not discount your previous failures as well, Klavier. I can only protect you so far as you will allow me to do so and that does mean absolute obedience."  I know you're fucked up and the reason you still stay is because you know I'm the only one who loves you the way you want to be loved. So completely and truly, I'm the only one that can do that for you.

“I just - I just don’t know.  Sometimes, I think it’s better not to think, to ignore and focus on the feeling.  Guide me, brüder.  Help me; I won’t …I won’t be as reckless.  I promise.  I know these are promises I’ve said before, but … I need you.  No matter what …happens.  We won’t get caught, will we?  You’ll protect me, right?” I’m just fucked up, Kristoph.  I’m bad, bad, bad.  I-I don’t know why I do it, alright?  I just - I’m not good at being loved unless it’s you. You’re the only one who ever satisfies me anyway.

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Klavier's bitter spoken words have Kristoph stopping in his tracks and he turns his head for the slightest moment to face his brother. There was no doubt in Kristoph's mind that Klavier would be back here. It was an automatic defence mechanism for the younger Gavin (although admittedly, it was Kristoph who had instilled it in him) but nonetheless, it never stopped being amusing.

"You sound so angry, Klavier. I understand that you are feeling pain at your situation but please. You are the one who made it to my front door - I did not summon you here. I cannot deny however, how pleased it makes me when you are here, although as I have expressed prior - I did not want to be right."

With that, he continues forward and into the lounge, Vongole nuzzling Klavier affectionately before trailing after his master like a good dog should.

"Shall I put on some tea? Or perhaps, you would prefer something harder?" comes the calm voice of Kristoph Gavin, as cool and collected as a spider with its prey wrapped up in silk and too weak to struggle. 

He’s not proud of himself.

It’s been a while since he’s last seen Kristoph. He had been doing well until the curious events of his flaming guitar. He had been doing well with Daryan.  Life was good; he felt light for the first time in a long while, but he should’ve known better.  Nothing ever goes so smoothly for him.

Without hesitation, he takes the first step forward, crossing the threshold and he waves goodbye to whatever life he could’ve had. Daryan was nothing more than a fucking fairytale anyway. He wants to wipe off that sickeningly angelic smile off his brother’s face; he knows he’s lying to him straight to his face.

"Does it feel good, Kristoph?  Does it feel good when I come here in the dead of the night to beg you to let me stay with you?  How does it feel to know?  To lie to me without flinching?”  But God, he just wants his brother more than ever.

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And there it was. Though it was barely inaudible, Klavier had admitted it nonetheless. Almost absent-mindedly, Kristoph found himself checking the clock on the nearby wall. It had certainly taken Klavier a little longer than he had expected but Kristoph was prepared to chalk that up to the initial shock overtaking him.

His mouth twitches upwards ever so slightly before willingly playing the part of concerned brother and nodding his head. "I... see. How unfortunate. This was one of the times where I had hoped I was not right - for your sake of course." Another lie. 

Stepping aside, the older Gavin offers a kind smile towards his brother, always prepared to baby Klavier. 

"Come in." 

What bullshit.  His brother knows exactly why he’s here and  Klavier is well-aware, but he doesn’t call him out on it.  He knows the words that his brother wants to hear from his lips.  The calm smile says it all.  'I told you so, I told you so, I told you so, but you didn’t listen to me again.’

At the very least, Vongole is a welcome sight.

"You were …you were right about Daryan,” he admits quietly, voice barely inaudible; he wants to so badly believe in his best friend, his first love, but the evidence is stacked against him and he is forced to believe in truth.  ”I need you …to take my mind off things.  You can do that for me, can’t you?  Let me stay with you for a week.  Two weeks, whatever.”

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He really knows that he should've expected who it was that showed up at his door but at the same time, he hadn't predicted it to happen so early. Vongole had moved towards the door before he had, barking and whining - awaiting the master's actions. Chuckling in amusement at the thought that dogs could always sense other dogs, Kristoph opened the door slightly and peered at his downtrodden brother on the otherside.

"I was not expecting to see you here, Klavier," Lie.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" 

He doesn’t want to be here, but he doesn’t know who else to turn to. In his early memory, Kristoph, his doting yet devilish brother, would always be there to brush away his tears and chase away the nightmares under his bed, but ever since his rebellion against the devil, his dreams of cruelty and utmost fantasy have begun to look like the distinct shadow of his beautiful brother.  It frightens him; his brother is nothing but good to him, but those words are the same he has said about Daryan - fuck.

Daryan, Daryan, Daryan.  The name repeats like a mantra in his thoughts. Best friend, best guitarist - both convicted for cold-blooded murder. Kristoph warned him; Kristoph was right.  Kristoph is always right; he should’ve listened.  Lips bitten, he rings the doorbell of the familiar flat.

"…Brüder, let me in.  Bitte.”

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"If you're so against it, then just say the word and I will leave you alone forever as per the wishes you seem to be expressing now. If you wish for me to disappear so much, then simply let me know, Klavier. Because we both know the last thing I would want to do it s make you uncomfortable."  If that is your wish then I would be more than happy to acquiesce and find my pleasure elsewhere.

“I don’t know … what I want.  I’m not little anymore, Kristoph; I know what we’re doing is wrong.  I know I’ve never lived a life without you and I know you’ve made me who I am today, but … i-it isn’t right, Kristoph.  The law says so.  And didn’t you say the law is absolute?  Shouldn’t we also follow the law?” …Brüder, please …I-I can’t.  We … we shouldn’t.  I want …I want you a lot, but I have to think with my mind and not my body.

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"But is that what you really want? To be free from me? Who knows, your wish just might come true one of these and then where will you find yourself~? I do wonder. You always have my attention, dear Klavier."  Tell me how much you want it and I might just consider.

“I’m …I’m working on it.  I’ll be free from you someday, brüder.   Even y-you can’t captivate me forever.  And it’s not so much of an order; I just …simultaneously don’t want to share you with other people.   Your attention is mine.” I’ve already tried that; my body remembers you.  It’s not very good at forgetting.  Even now, I’m …I’m struggling.  Even now, I want you so badly; I can hardly stand it.

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"Me? Flatter? Never. Your bite and pride means nothing to me, especially when all it seems to do for you is bring you back for more.  And what's this? You're giving orders now? Big words for a dog. You're not allowed to have an opinion."  You could always leave and never come back. But we know that will never happen.

“Hardly.  Don’t flatter yourself, Kristoph.  I may be worth less than a dog, but I’ve still got bite left in me.  I’ve still got a bit of pride. And you’re a good liar, brother mine, but I’m not stupid.  You’re not … you’re not allowed to fuck my bandmates behind my back.” Well, it’s as I said.  You’ve got me on a very tight leash.  What else am I supposed to do?  I don’t want to feel so good, but I do.

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"Jealous of Vongole are we now? I suppose it's only natural. Dogs envy other dogs that get more attention. No tricks. When have you known me to be tricky? I'm sure it will be a... good show." And yet you're back here all the time, bending yourself over my desk and begging to be fucked.

“I’d say I’m even better trained than that dog of yours, brüder. And you’ve got me on an even tighter leash. No tricks up your sleeve?  Promise?  I want this to be a good show.” That’s your kink, brüder, not mine.  My reputation is important to me.