I hear the words "bichon frise" and my brain spends an uncountably long moment frantically overturning every memory I have, desperately trying to remember what foreign luxury car brand I have to pretend to care about in order for this conversation to go favorably. After my every mote of knowledge about cars has been thoroughly ransacked and I am on the verge of failing this social interaction, a smudged sticky note flutters into view that simply says "small white dog."
19K notes
·
View notes
"divine feminine" "divine masculine"
wrong. Divine.
18K notes
·
View notes
Watched Trials and Tribbleations today and… can I just say the comedic genius of having Sisko search through the grain storage for the explosive Tribble and just throw the safe ones down the open hatch which is then perfectly cut to show that same tribble falling down on Kirk?! Unparalleled! Haven’t laughed this hard watching Star Trek since I watched the og episode.
9K notes
·
View notes
I wonder if work just.. got harder in the 2000s, comparatively.
87K notes
·
View notes
me: have you seen this movie split?
boyfriend: oh the m. night shyamalan one? with mcavoy and the little girl from the witch? no I never saw it
me: okay well I just started it and it's pretty good so far except for one thing that is completely batshit stupid to the extent that I might have to stop watching. can you guess what it is
boyfriend: is the little girl wearing makeup
me: okay it's not just that she's wearing makeup. it's the wrong kind of makeup!! she's supposed to be the weird misfit girl and she's wearing the exact same makeup as the two popular girls!!! and it's RUINING the MOVIE!!!!
boyfriend: well let me know how that turns out
me, yelling after him: and her hair is all fucking glossy!!!
98 notes
·
View notes
This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small
3 inch opening: no problem
2.75 inch opening: Easy
2.5 inch opening: doing fine
2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!
2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…
Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy
:insert grunts of effort here:
Taking a break…
The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.
A New Challenger approaches!
1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”
GIMME GIMME GIMME
He ends up giving up.
Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4
via imgur
274K notes
·
View notes
Recent discourse reminds me of that cult indoctrination trick that's often used to weed out more difficult marks early on, where they tell you all that you aren't allowed to eat rice on Tuesdays and then if you protest they go "wow SOMEBODY likes rice a little much huh" as if you're the fucking weirdo who cares too much about how much rice is consumed between Monday and Wednesday instead of them.
And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.
And if instead you do decide to push back further, after your abrupt departure from the group ("You're seriously leaving us over RICE?!? Seriously?") and subsequent ostracism, you can then be used as a demonstration to the others who were more pliable, of how the outgroup is full of people like you who are obsessed with violating the No-Tuesday-Rice rule to the point where they'll abandon all their friends, who cared so much for them, so it clearly isn't an arbitrary restriction, you're the kind of monster these rules are intended to protect them from, thus all the other wise and esoteric precepts of the charismatic leader are implied to be equally justified.
58K notes
·
View notes
so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign
so i immediately inquired
and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well
anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it
33K notes
·
View notes
24K notes
·
View notes
Server update! Cool new look! New feature!
kobold is now running the very latest released code! It looks tons nicer thanks to a bunch of style work @jv did, and also includes a feature I worked on that I'm really proud of: tag follows.
Click through a post's tag, then click the follow button, and your timeline now magically includes every post that arrives on the server with that tag! (Except, of course, for anyone you are muting or blocking. They can continue to pound sand.)
There's no page in your profile where you can get a list of all the tags you're currently following. Yet.
There's no "Block #fandom" button, for when you are just sick and goddamn tired of everyone's blorbo and want the tag to magically disappear completely from your timeline. Yet.
(The backend code for tag blocking is already in place, it's just not exposed in the UI.)
If this sounds intriguing, you know what I'm about to say and you know it rhymes with "schminvite schmodes"! Between now and midnight EST Sunday, invite codes will go out to anyone who messages me. (Offer only valid if your tumblr looks like it belongs to a real human being.)
40 notes
·
View notes
Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)
I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.
10K notes
·
View notes
I want to strangle people like this with black licorice vines
I need straights and gays to wake up and realize that this narrative we’ve had for the past near century that “the majority of people in the LGBT community are Gay/Lesbian“ is a lie. Most people are Bi/Pan. We’ve always been the majority, but even despite efforts by sexologists to introduce nuance into the conversations of flexible sexuality, the straights and the gay/lesbian community have consistently enforced the existence of an either-or binary of Homo | Hetero which has led to the false impression that Bisexuality is extremely anomalous even within the ‘anomalous phenomenon of queerness’. It isn’t, never has been, y’all were simply brainwashed just like straight people by rigid Western conceptualizations of gender and sexuality.
There being no monosexual (attracted to only one gender) companions is NOT ERASURE. Erasure is lying, censoring, ignoring, or attempting to re-explain the clear present evidence of someone’s identity. The companions are Bisexual/Pansexual from the jump, therefore there is nothing exclusively homosexual to erase. There is nothing in the game that indicates anything but perhaps a historical preference toward one gender over the other (i.e. Astarion making more observational comments about men than women that I’ve noticed) or known dating history (i.e. Gale’s relationship with Mystra).
I’m sorry if you want characters to be exactly Gay or exactly Straight, but when people complain about Bi/Pansexuality in media it stinks of the arguments once made by gay and lesbian activists until very recently that “Bisexuality is a political copout to appease the straights”, “Bisexuality is a lack of commitment to one side.” It’s the understandable fear that if Bisexuality is made more visible, then straight people will even more insistently weaponize our existence against gays and lesbians and argue “Well these queers can have relationships with the opposite sex, so why can’t you?” It’s not our fault as Bisexuals if the hegemony uses us as a weapon against our community without our consent, just like it’s not drag queens’ fault when the cishets use them to paint gay people as deviants.
Not only that but this insistence on these characters as being gay or lesbian is strictly due to this worship of gay/lesbian archetypes which are really just stereotypes. “Minthara is a lesbian because she hates men” is not groundbreaking girlboss empowering representation for lesbians, I don’t care what your little pink ribbon emoji handle has to say about it. “Astarion is gay because he’s flamboyant” wait until I introduce you to Lord Byron and Bi men who have freed themselves from the shackles of toxic masculinity. “Karlach is a lesbian because of that haircut and Mommy” Karlach is Karlach. She likes cock and cunt.
You can headcanon that these characters have a preference. You can even headcanon they are 99.99% into one gender and 0.01% into another. But no matter how many 9s you tack onto that .99% it’s still gonna be less than 100%. They’re still canonically Bi. Sorry that’s just how it is. That’s the reality.
238 notes
·
View notes
plagues history and global epidemiology as an autistic special interest was already a heavy topic but not a day goes by I dont briefly recall drunkenly telling people at the bar in autumn 2019 “yeah the next pandemic will probably be a coronavirus and we’re due for one”
if they remember that i have to wonder if they think they met the devil at the club that night
19K notes
·
View notes