sorry-but-i-am-random

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I. I’ve been replaced more times than I’ve even dated, and if I’m finally being honest, it hurts, it hurts, it really fucking hurts. II. You were selfish. Throughout it all, you were selfish. You left because you said I deserved happiness, but the truth is, you found someone else; and the worst part isn’t that you replaced me, but because you couldn’t even tell me you did. III. I want to look at these strangers and tell them that you’ve made me stronger, but all you’ve done is cause me mental breakdowns and create questions that I can’t answer. IV. I told you I’d never leave and I never have, I never will. It’s not like it’s a choice, my heart doesn’t let go. But fuck, I’m begging it to. It’s causing me to question my sanity. V. All you did was make beautiful lies. But they weren’t actually that beautiful because they broke my fucking heart when I learned the truth. VI. I’m trying to let you go, but I’m laying in my bed, trying to sleep, and I swear, when I glaced to the side, I saw that same beautiful person that once told me they loved me. VII. All I had was the wrong kind of love with the right kind of person. VIII. Sometimes, I hear you whispering into my ear, but you’re not here. Sometimes, you still lay in my bed, but not really. IX. I felt special, which was new to me because all my life I’ve fought to feel important, but you don’t give a shit and I wasn’t special at all. X. When I was a little girl, I was always scared of boys and never knew why. Now I know exactly why. They toss your heart around like a toy and make your ribcage feel as if it’s caving in, and the worst part is that they don’t care what they’ve done. XI. My family is scared because they think that I’m seeing things that aren’t there, but I know there’s nothing there. I just want something to be there, I want you to be there. XII. We sat in your car for a couple hours and it was nothing but you and me. Your music was deafening and I felt so much love. But when I got out, I think you drove off with my heart. I can’t seem to find it anywhere. XIII. We laid in your bed until the sun started to go down, and maybe that was too scary; to imagine someone who actually loved you enough to spend every second with you. XIV. I loved you, but I didn’t know how to show it. And she showed it really well, but she didn’t really love you – and you never really knew the difference.

14 thoughts after being left by you again (via drinkt0forget)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I don’t like people [x]

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I made this so pls give credit if you use it okai? im srry ;-;

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I can never seem to find the words to explain how I feel; They have followed in the footsteps of everyone else in my life.. They have left me.

m.d. (via fickle-hearts-woozy-eyes)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

“I guess our stars just don’t align.” “Heck, we’re not even in the same universe.”

d.d (via rottingdaisies)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes.

Charles Bukowski (via tearing-myself-apart-x)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

“"I don’t want to spend all this time avoiding whatever it is that’s between us and never get our chance.”      She swallowed and asked, “But what if we ruin it?"       "I know,” he said. “But what if we don’t?”

excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via yourhandwrittenletter)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I’m so scared of dying without ever being really seen. Can you understand?

David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (via theliteraryjournals)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her love, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad I just need someone who won’t run away.

Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

I told you I’d destroy us.

C.C // six word story (via pysciopath)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives. By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our own transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds — the strength to overcome them and the lessons that we are meant to receive through them. Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise.

Caroline Myss  (via wordsnquotes)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

Love is a tricky fickle thing. Yes, I love you. I know that to be completely true, there is not a single doubt in my heart that I love you. But, I’m not in love with you. My love for you, it feels as though it’s old. It’s not current, my love for you is familiar and comforting. But I am not falling, my heart doesn’t pound , my head doesn’t spin. I love you, But i am not sure in what way.

A.P (via 3amwritting)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

do you not get it? do you not realize how much damage you’ve caused? do you not understand how much pain you’ve inflicted? you have burned yourself into the skin of others, so deep that you left them scarred. you have forced yourself into the cracks of broken people, convincing them that you’re filling the emptiness when really you were just draining them of life. you are a disease, infecting any girl that gives you the time of day with false hope and fake love. you are a disease worse than the plague because even though you both kill slowly, the plague doesn’t text you they love you when they’re fucking another girl. you are poison, you are a drug, you are a bad habit i can’t seem to break. i thought you were my medicine, i thought you were my cure, i thought you were the one thing i did right but in all reality you were the toxin running through my veins. they say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit but so far it’s been 42 and i swear i crave you as much as did two months ago. two months ago. two months. two months. too much. it’s all been too much. i know our 5 months doesn’t compare to the 12 with her but our time together was something i cherished more than anything. you made me feel things i didn’t think i was capable of feeling. i felt love, real love. but with love came pain. real pain. pain that was worse than any drug. worse than any punch. worse than any form of self-destruction i put myself through in order to make it stop. i know i promised you i’d never hurt myself again. but you promised me you’d never hurt me. i broke my promise after you broke yours, after you broke me. i am broken.

a slam poem i wasn’t quite sure how to end, just like our relationship. (via anobodybutsomebody)

[sorry-but-i-am-random]

i want to write something that’s all stardust touches and morning dew. something that’s a little half-hearted and a little too passionate, like breathing wildflowers and daydreaming on the dark side of the moon. maybe you.

(via stellarr)