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We looked inside some of the posts by sortamalicioussummaries and here's what we found interesting.
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The last summary might truly be the last one.
I’ve enjoyed making these summaries and being part of Ryan’s Twitch community for these past so many months, but tonight, I suffered an anxiety attack-my second since joining,-and just like that first one, it was worsened by a mod. In this case, the mod knew about my disorder, yet chose to encourage people in the chat to ignore me, something that they knew would only make the situation worse. I’m sure that was not their intention, but it’s what happened.
Not everyone was there, so let me tell you what happened to cause this mess.
A new user asked what the crowns mean. It’s not an uncommon question for us to get, together with what the other symbols mean. As most of chat members have at least one of these symbols, which require money, I, as one of the symbolless, typically respond jokingly that we naked-namers are the cool ones. It’s a joke that has been well-received many times in the past, and is clearly just that-a joke. I would even say it was something I considered to be one of our regular in-jokes.
When I made it tonight, however, a bunch of people got on my case. The comment got purged, and everyone claimed I was being rude and trying to tear the community apart and not being “accepting”. This completely blindsided me and left me really upset. It was all made worse by the fact that I’ve used this joke before, and despite their denial, there’s no way none of them have seen it before. Yet the same people who had laughed about it with me in the past now condemned me, and it was a very upsetting experience. I like interacting with Ryan, but I don’t really want to risk being part of the chat anymore. I’m not sure I’ll be able to continue with the summaries as such. It breaks my heart, but I don’t know what else to do.
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Summary 54
Summary of: September 5th, 2017(PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Ryan’s streaming with Meg tonight. He’s playing Battlegrounds, much to everyone’s surprise.
“Oh, I’m not coming over there. I hate eyes.” -Gavin Free, 2017
Eye feel so bad for Meg.
Ryan’s talking about gross stuff. Everyone is flipping out, and Trickstress feels attacked.
Stop, Ryan. That’s toe much.
He’s singing Britney Spears. O_O
I'd be offended if I had any idea what accent they were trying to do.
Apparently Canadians sound like drunk old people.
"There's always another form. I'm one of those final bosses.” -OmniformBlue, 2017
Ryan didn’t hit “Apply”. XD
"Quack!" -duke_of_the_url, 2017
Meg complains about her cat, then her stream gets cut.
“The cat killed her.” -The chat, 2017
Me: You could say this is a...catastrophe.
FattyMcFatFatGhanoush: @SyberiaWinx Goddammit, Barb.
Trickstress: @SyberiaWinx Booooo.
nissa1782 @SyberiaWinx *Jack voice* Boooo.
"Clearly Meg needs to just accept the gift and eat the Beanie Baby.” -XxThortonxX, 2017
Duuuuuuuuuust n the wiiiiiiiiiiiiind.
"The Litterbox Rebellion is the cause I would give my life for.” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
"*aggressive banjo solo*" -OhDeerBambi, 2017
lazyartist32 is included!
Ryan’s stream computer is gonna set us free! ;-;
"We still see you. Stream is currently a picture book.” -luxceon, 2017
"!title All We Are, Are Frames In The Wind.” -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
Today’s Mission.....................................Sooooooooooo long. D :
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Summary 53
Summary of: August 29th, 2017(XCOM 2: War of the Chosen)
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It’s twelve inches wet, according to Ryan.
“Look, I have a laundry basket! I’m a responsible adult who folds laundry!” -Ryan Haywood(paraphrased), 2017
There’s apparently a fake Laurie Facebook account going around, so be aware of that, folks.
Ryan thinks we are amazing. ;-;
Maya is gonna be the star of Ryan’s Instagram!
In before he accidentally sets it as his avatar.
“Let’s go kill some co-workers.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Poor Emma.
"They're all gonna die, and it's gonna be glorious.” -Bambi_NC, 2017
The Pineapple On Pizza debate has begun!
Livvy has something to tell Ryan again.
And now she wants a hug. : D
"My sister is obsessed with Overwatch. You gonna die when she hears about this.” -KatPad, 2017
ChaosChloe: @sagebailey Pineapples killed my family. Why?
SageBailey: @ChaosChloe Kill the pineapples’ family.
I somehow suspect, if this were the real Geoff, he’d somehow miss and hit Jack.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
“All I need...is for Geoff to not fuck it up.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"You killed him when you named him 'Geoff'.” -BGLM0808, 2017
My advice for how to be a successful streamer: Use dogs.
Livvy has come, seeking a...kangaroo?
That's not Cher! It's an impostor!
“Order’s restored to the stuffed animal world.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Ryan’s been browsing Tumblr again. He saw all those posts about him checking out Ashley, but he was actually looking at the monitor behind her to make sure he was in frame.
Ryan: Alfredo’s playing Battlegrounds?
rosinna18: R y a n.
bethconner: Ryan...
schmeargod and sortamadpup: Ryan, No!
Sam141824: Oh, no.
Me: Ryan, don't go getting ideas...
DmitriMolotov: Ryan.
ColumbiaSkies: Ryannn.
KatPad: Goddammit, Ryan.
bamfmcgee62: Be strong, Ryan-hold out.
schmeargod: Please, no.
bethconner: Ryan, no... You said XCOM, so we stay here.
The return of Livvy.
Did he just call us short?
Today’s Mission.......................................Needed More Emma Love.
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Summary 52
Summary of: August 24th, 2017(Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice)
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"HE'S LATE. I’M CALLING A LAWYER AS WE S P E A K.” -CriaTheLlama, 2017
"It's okay, guys, Sage is gonna punch the hurricane away." -RElise_theFury, 2017
"Infiltrating hell, my favorite weekend activity.” -RElise_theFury, 2017
Maya is still chewing away. XD
Welcome, vverecat!
The kids have appeared!
Sneak return by Eli!
"I'm not completely idiot." -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"@oniwahoo You just haven't discovered your true head-in-a-sack potential yet.” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
“Syberia’s hitting the DuckTales thing.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
And then he proceeded to try and sing it. XD
oniwahoo: @SyberiaWinx You made this happen.
Me: You’re welcome.
Quaestroi: @SyberiaWinx Good job!
sortamadpup: You seem very happy @SyberiaWinx. Thank you, by the way. I wanted to hear DuckTales.
Ryan saw my “Walks on Twinks” comments. XD
"@SyberiaWinx You just made me spit out my soda.” -AstroCorps, 2017
"And if it doesn't bleed, teach it to." -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
Ryan lost a game and went even more insane. The most prominent chat members then became voices in his head-some tormenting and some aiding him-as he tries to cope emotionally with his loss.
Layne, Cria sends their regards. D :
Ryan speaks Stitch, apparently.
You can tell Ryan's starting to get really tired, because he's dropping the mask of relative sanity. I think his “a bit” comment was acknowledging me saying this, but who knows.
Today’s Mission..................................................Barely Audible.
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Summary 51
Summary of: August 22nd, 2017(Cooking Stream and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Happy birthday, sortamadpup! : D
COOKING STREAM!!!
"Tag yourself: I'm a wet ingredient.” -SageBailey, 2017
"Oh, shit! Heat melts butter?! What?!" -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
Okay, Ryan just put Diet Coke in the pancake batter.
KatPad captured the incident:
https://clips.twitch.tv/ExquisiteBelovedBulgogiNotATK
Me: @SkullsAndKisses Can you start up the GoFundMe for when he inevitably burns the house down?
SkullsAndKisses: @SyberiaWinx I've got it on standby, and the button to sign in is ready!
Eli is on scene and wants to say “hi”!
Ryan used a prop gun as a makeshift whisk. O_O
Dancing Eli!
“The grease! It burns me!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017, making poor life choices
Eli’s mission to retrieve tongs...has failed.
And Ryan, in the meantime, is eating destructively in between burns.
WE NOW HAVE TONGS! Good job, Eli!
“We’re making pancake bacon?” -Eli Haywood, 2017
Eli is the best cameraman. That is official.
Ryan keeps telling Eli to stop eating all the bacon, but he has totally eaten way more.
Eli left him hangin’. XD
Love this bottom-of-the-grill action.
The Bacon Song.
"!title SortaElicious. Ryan Who?" -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
"Well, Eli's gone. Stream’s over.” -Sheena_QOTJ, 2017
"He survived.” -BM_Prop_Master, 2017
"i mean, MY dogs would eat the table if i let them alone.” -Ravage369, 2017
Ryan is panicking because he left a pancake downstairs.
Now Ryan’s trying to figure out Instagram.
And now for Battlegrounds. >_>;
Next week of next stream, Hellblade...allegedly.
British!Ryan.
Ryan did a Scottish accent when they recorded the new For Honor DLC.
"Ryan? More like Ry-I have nothing good for this joke -an.” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
"It’s not a fight, it’s a violent conversation.” -levible, 2017
Bambi_NC: Someone tell me not to eat an entire bag of cheddar popcorn.
Me: @Bambi_NC Eat two handfuls and then put the bag away.
Bambi_NC: @SyberiaWinx But they're so good...
Me: @Bambi_NC Show restraint! If you don't, next thing you know, you'll be putting the stuff in pancakes and eating it for four hours every stream, while your poor chat is forced to watch! D :
Bambi_NC: @SyberiaWinx That's an oddly specific example...
The timing of that death was AMAZING.
“Look, this is a safe place...except for all the people that are here to shoot you.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"How dare Ryan go after Sage on Sage's stream?” -Trickstress, 2017
Shoutout to JulieLovesPandas and her horrible internet!
Chat’s trying to get Sage to kill Ryan again. : D
Ryan: I’ve watched a lot of anime to prepare me for this.
Me: Was that anime DBZ? The one where the main characters keep dying?
"The dude's, like, a mile away, and Ryan’s, like, 'hold my Diet Coke'.” -ItsAMeWolfie, 2017
According to Ryan, Gavin is heavier than you’d think.
WAY TO GO, SAGE!
"I will fight Ryan, idgaf.” -SageBailey, 2017
Hope_Megan_Shoots_You AKA frizzical AKA innocent_frizzical AKA super_innocent_frizzical
"Plot twist where Meghan doesn't kill him and whoever the guy is kills him instead.” -Me, 2017
Ryan: From now on, it’s all PUBG streams and it’s all solo!
Me: We'll pun you down if you try, Ryan.
I’ve been called out! : D
“Shoot him in the front.” -Me, 2017, after Ryan tells Meghan he can no longer worry about watching his back
Eyan?
SkullsAndKisses: I want Ryan to point-blank end a teammate.
PeglegSailor: @SkullsAndKisses Honestly, I thought about doing that right off the bat to Ryan in that one match. I just was too slow to get to the roof.
"@syberiawinx That's my response to you saying she should shoot him in the front. I was giggling too hard to finish the response.” -ChaosChloe, 2017
"Ryan, I expect excellent gameplay from you 24/7, and i am DISAPPOINTED.” -imkaylamarie, 2017
Frizzical, you traitor. (⌐■_■)
Today’s Mission......................................Ended With Ryan Being Killed By His Own Teammate, And I Had Nothing To Do With It.
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Summary 50
Summary of: August 17th, 2017(PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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I say we name the new chair “Yoko”. No reason.
Ryan was looking himself up on Tumblr, apparently. >_> Hi, Ryan?
He’s giving away a copy of PUBG. He won’t stop until he’s turned us all!!!
Eli is here, and he wants a Pokemon! He apparently has a Jigglypuff?
And now Livvy is here! She wants to know if it’s nighttime. I totally think the kids know we are there, watching.
Me, sortamadpup, and tallulah1994 are all part of Team Poor And Computer Sucks.
ItsAMeWolfie: I'll get a, uhhhh...boneless pizza. (That’s a new meme, right?)
RElise_theFury: @ItsAMeWolfie Really? Right in front of my salad?
---------------------------------------------------
roguespear1919: *crunches some numbers*
Bambi_NC: @roguespear1919 Silly, rogue-numbers are for calculators, not for eating.
Allison0128: Rumor has it: If you sub to Ryan you get PUBG twice a week.
Me: @Allison0128 I heard it's more like 5 times a week.
ItsAMeWolfie: @SyberiaWinx Somehow he streams PUBG on days he doesn't stream.
---------------------------------------------------
WeaponBones won the free copy of the game!
“We’re not just entertainment piñatas that you can hit and...that dance.” -Ryan Haywood(paraphrased), 2017, talking about people not wanting RT to talk about politics
Creeters.
Livvy is back, and she has to tell Ryan...something.
"Ryan, what if there are MONSTERS?" -RElise_theFury, 2017
Zigywig: So, does this usually happen on Ryan's streams?
Me: @Zigywig These are the kids' streams. Ryan just keeps interrupting.
Livvy wanted water. Downstairs water is superior to upstairs water.
“Ryan uses 'I'm gonna tell your mother'. It does nothing.” -Me, 2017
Livvy has successfully evaded bedtime.
Allison0128: Livvy is doing the Lord.
Allison0128: ...I messed up.
---------------------------------------------------
Ryan: No, don’t let the baby do whatever she wants!
SpAzDmO: Nobody puts baby in the corner.
Ryan v. Child, as named by KatPad: https://clips.twitch.tv/EntertainingSnappyJackalNotATK
Poor WeaponBones STILL hasn’t gotten his game. ^^;
Welcome, TheSil3ntAssasin!
Ryan decided to give out another copy of the game, as thanks for the stream reaching 1500 subs. The winner was captjharding! But he apparently already had the game, so now the winner is DChirico80! Yay!
Also, 1500 subs..............COOKING STREAM!!!
A brief reappearance by Livvy!
Allison0128: What if your stripper name was the last game you played + your name backwards?
ExoticButts: @Allison0128 Slime Rancher Stubb?
Me: It works.
---------------------------------------------------
Bambi_NC: @MiArtMart I'll eat mayo from the jaw to freak you out.
Me: @Bambi_NC Eating out of jaws does not seem wise.
Bambi_NC: @SyberiaWinx I fucked up. Time to eat me out a shark.
Me: Phrasing?
Storytime is Llamas With Hats. XD
Today’s Mission............................................................................Hi, Livvy!
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Summary 49
Summary of: August 15th, 2017(Starcraft: Remastered and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Me: Look at all these badges. My name is the only one that stands out. (⌐■_■)
JoyBones: @SyberiaWinx Your badge is my heart.
Aaaaaaaaan there’s no sound.
Welcome, apsmith2 and Nequais!
The only hold up on the Minecraft King series is Ryan being teased about being able to copy Achievement City to the PC version.
"I choose not to words." -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"Ryan made us through salt, frustration, and mad sick beats, yo." -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
Eli’s new name is Poo-Poo-Butt, or so he has told us tonight.
“Get to work, STDs!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"@sortamadpup Get on a high surface and launch yourself at him.” -Bambi_NC, 2017, telling sortamadpup how to deal with his grammar-abusing brother
"OMG, I can't stop stroking my ponytail... It's like cat-fur softness. Help, I'm weird.” -nissa1782, 2017
That dog sound was something. O_O
Ryan is planning to replace Cher!!! D : Queue outrage:
SkullsAndKisses: CHER!! I CAN'T BELIEVE CHER IS FUCKING DEAD.
KatPad: NO. Don't you replace Cher!
frizzical: NOOOO.
Me: I'm unsubscribing.
Trickstress: CHER, NO.
bamfmcgee62 Give me Cher or give me death
nissa1782: Oh, no-not Cher!!
Bambi_NC: Cher is getting plastic surgery.
sortamadpup: Noo! Cher!
DmitriMolotov: Someone adopt Cher!
ColumbiaSkies: She will be sorely missed.
Reiderreiter: Only 90's kids remember Cher.
TabiKatz: *cue the music they use for flashbacks and highlights*
Allison0128: Cher, nooooo.
SageBailey: Give Cher to a chair shelter.
Trickstress: A stream where we watch the replacement of Cher. How brutal.
Me: Guys, guys, we're panicking over nothing. Cher can only be replaced if Ryan builds that chair, and that's never gonna happen.
Trickstress: @SyberiaWinx Savage.
Allison0128: Okay, but Cher doesn't deserve this.
Bambi_NC: Cher will rest in pieces.
SkullsAndKisses: I helped name CHER!
ColumbiaSkies: Sage, you got the shirt-the chair's mine.
SkullsAndKisses: She is my baby, she's just under your ass!
DmitriMolotov: Cher-ity raffle.
SageBailey: @ColumbiaSkies Ur gonna have to fight me for it.
Allison0128: I would die for Cher.
LegendOfLayne: @dmitrimolotov, unmod me... I’m not modding with you anymore.
TesseraCatt: First stream I've made it to: We're Killing my chair.
NikkiNikkiTembo: If you replace every part of Cher, is it still Cher?
SageBailey: I can support Cher on my stable income of nothing.
Allison0128: I LOVE CHER, RYAN. Don't hurt her like this.
DmitriMolotov: Take her out back.
KatPad: IT'S OUR FRIEND.
rosinna18: Is Cher going to a nice field where Cher can play with other nice chairs?
RayToTheMax: It's a part of OUR FAMILY, RYAN!
GothLiPeaches: @Trickstress Can we transfer Cher's memories to the upgrade?
ItsAMeWolfie: CHER IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.
SageBailey: You get attached once you name them.
LegendOfLayne: CHERS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BINCH.
frizzical: SHE CAN HEAR YOU.
Allison0128: !banryan
bamfmcgee62: SHE IS MY WIFE.
DocBreaker: Ryan... it may be only a chair... but how often has that mere chair supported your ass?
ColumbiaSkies: She keeps us company when you're gone.
RiannKrusnik13: The great chair discourse of august 15th 2017
ItsAMeWolfie: #ReplaceRyanWithCher2017
“I’m not too addicted to PUBG. ...Also, I was planning to play PUBG after this.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Ryan left to get a drink:
Demonicbunie14: The last alone time with Cher.
Allison0128: Ryan’s gone. It’s the Cher stream now.
Me: Cher...
ItsAMeWolfie: Cher, quick, while you have a chance-lock the door. Lock the door, Cher. Be free.
ColumbiaSkies: We'll miss you, Cher.
SyberiaWinx: I've...had...the time of my life. And I owe it all to you. ;-;
Allison0128: Assert your dominance, Cher!
bamfmcgee62: We must heist the Cher.
DmitriMolotov: RUN, CHER! GET OUT!
ItsAMeWolfie: @FeralDingo Cher, jump out the window!
Ryan saw me saying he got no friend requests due to him kililng Cher. XD
"Man, I talk to my husband for like 5 minutes, and suddenly-PUBG. What happened?” -Neutrinobunny, 2017
Ryan’s Relationship Advice in a Nutshell: Compromise, but don’t compromise.
O_o
"I'm here for Ducktales. Nothing else.” -Trickstress, 2017
"Turned on the stream, and of course, Ryan's naked.” -DutchSpartanMan, 2017
It’s already past midnight, and he’s doing another round!!
“@DmitriMolotov Not according to Taylor Swift, and I’m pretty sure she’s medically qualified, she was on Grey’s Anatomy once.” -KatPad, 2017
schmeargod: @SageBailey Kill Ryan and kill the PUBG streams! Do it!
SmolWoof: FREE US.
Today’s Mission............................................One Of Heartbreak And Outrage.
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Summary 48
Summary of: August 3rd, 2017(Dead By Daylight and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Do you think we could convince Ryan that 100% completing Dream Daddy unlocks Battlegrounds DLC?
Ryan got home and let the dogs out, but then the dogs escaped. D : They are fine now, though.
And now nothing works. XD
Eli wished us goodnight. : D
Ryan got no sleep again last night. D :
Ryan thanked me for worrying about him. : D
They were filming a new live action thing, and according to Ryan:
“My arm is sore, and not in a good way.”
None of us can hear Meg.
“Can I hear you now?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"I can... sorta hear the idea of her voice?" -DeeRanged6, 2017
"Plot twist: Meg's not there-he's just talking to himself.” -imkaylamarie, 2017
Ryan is broken. Someone, please fix Ryan.
Neutrinobunny: The chuckle of a broken man. Why you be so OBStinate, sounds?
Me: This is really OBStructing my enjoyment of the stream. : P
GothLiPeaches: @SyberiaWinx Nice.
“I’m ready to suck at this.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Happy Birthday, maenstream16!
Meg is so loud, and when she starts screaming, no one can understand her. We are all going deaf. D :
portaddict74482 has broken our oath to never let Ryan win and is openly helping him. Shuuuuuun him. >:D
"Who needs eardrums any more? They can rebuild those right?” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
"Meg is using the front 3% of her chair and 300% of the mic.” -H0useDayne, 2017
"My sexuality: Ryan calling himself ‘Haywood’, angrily.” -ItsAMeWolfie, 2017
"This is why we can never play Prop Hunt. Spectating Ryan would be, like, 'Yeah, be a banana on that table in the kitchen'.” -Me, 2017
"Must be hard to stream in a wind tunnel.” -OmniformBlue, 2017
AMAZING job to Mustacheluva and Humbalumpa!
Way to...throw the game, Ryan.
Ryan’s telling Meg how to fuck a dad. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Wait... Why is Ryan mouthing a screw driver?" -Dunkyhorey, 2017
Dear god, no-they’re switching to Battlegrounds! D :
White and gold.
“Plants can be people too, Meg. It’s a green world.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"@ItsAMeWolfie Alright, Beyonce, calm down..” -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
crackergamer1995: Is he playing with Meg? Hahahaha.
Me: @crackergamer1995 I mean, define WITH Meg...
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H0useDayne: One bullet and a prayer.
DeeRanged6: 7 bullets and a sin.
frecklesandfarce: @DeeRanged6 Also, sounds like my Friday night.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryan: He’s out of bullets!
*Meg gets shot and killed.*
Ryan: He’s not out of bullets!
Today’s Mission....................................................Great For Insomniacs.
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Summary 47
Summary of: August 8th, 2017(Dream Daddy: A Daddy Dating Simulator)
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Skulls is pruging creativity again.
Me: Ryan looks tired.
Ryan: I’ve been here two seconds, and you’re already saying I look tired, Syberia? ...I am tired.
Apparently a lightning storm had the dogs freaking out, as well as Livvy, so Ryan got no sleep...two nights ago. >_>;
The kids have appeared and are being adorable. Also, Ryan is happy being big.
Attempt to capture Eli and Olivia failed.
ELI AND CHAIR STREAM!
Did Ryan actually finish Eli’s bed? D :
"Sex, Ryan.” -sorcererinslytherin, 2017
“I have tried it once, and I never saw a single person, including the person that destroyed me from behind.” -Ryan Haywood, 2018
MAYA!
I want you all to know, I'm typing this with a quill.
“Also, he’s probably not actually British-he just thinks he’s Brit, he’s pretending to be British,-so if his accent’s all over the place, that works thematically. Explained that away!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
“Dammit, the butterflies.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Ryan reading Naruto erotica. The dream has been realized.
"I did mention I was not brain alive today, so...more talking bad?" -Ryan Haywood 2017
Tiny Food Wars: KatPad VS Bambi_NC!
Someone mentions the binders thing to Ryan, and he was so lost. He thought they were talking about three-ring binders. XD
sorcererinslytherin, tenderlauryn, suz_buttons: Oh, Ryan.
imkaylamarie: Ryan, NO.
Bambi_NC: OMFG.
bamfmcgee62: ME: LMAO.
KatPad: Oh, Ry.
bamfmcgee62, Bambi_NC: RYAN.
HuffleRyan, SereneOddities, sam_likes_the_sidemen, ColumbiaSkies: Ryan...
shade_jay: Ryan, baby, no-chest binders.
RayToTheMax: What? Ryan....
valeria_18: Oh, honey...
VulpesKnight: Ryan...... OMFG.
BluebellMoon: Jesus, Ryan. Hahaha.
SkullsAndKisses: Ryan questions binders, thinks of three-ring, hole-punch binders.
KeriLin: Idiot.
flamingkay: OMG.
vivaciousWordsmith: Oh, dear.
scarletbetta: Ryan. Aw, Ry.
ladyarya2014: Ryan, you are so innocently sweet.
Jesshatter: Oh, Ryan... No, Ryan.
SlytherinLit: Try again, Rye-bread.
watcher_listener_here, katelyn_paige: Oh, my god.
frizzical: Wow, Ryan. Wow.
LLLLLLetsplay_chick: OMG, Ryan. I'm dying.
BluebellMoon: Hahahaha.
Azalulu: Ryan, pls.
HuffleRyan: Ryan, bb...
bamfmcgee62: Ryan is dumb.
Bambi_NC: Ryan, Christ.
imkaylamarie: Ryan, I love you, but PLEASE.
Sam141824: Ryan, OMG. XD
DmitriMolotov: Buddy...
AnimeFreak08: LOL.
CaPowArsenic: Aw, Ry.
BluebellMoon: @terriblewriter I'm wheezing.
SageBailey: Someone educate him, please.
shadowcat2132: You sweet cinnamon roll.
KatPad: *headdesk*
Bambi_NC: I'm in TEARS.
NMacDowell13: *facepalm*
"Do you think it's possible to say 'fuck you' in flower?" -Nolinnoel, 2017
"Ryan is too precious-he needs to be STOPPED." -frecklesandfarce, 2017
“Seriously, game me?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
“Gavin: Ryan, have you ever crushed the hopes and dreams of your children? Chat: YES.” -Me, 2017
Ryan has been ranting about cooking for at least five minutes now. He’s not even playing the game. O_O;
cmdr_shepard_sr2: What have i missed?
Me: @cmdr_shepard_sr2 Cooking is GOD, and don't you dare say otherwise!
“We did it!" -Nightbot, 2017
It’s a Peep, and I said it first.(⌐■_■)
Ryan made a new friend. : >
Don't tell Ryan to bind his wound-he'll just put three-ring binders on it.
I'm not going to judge anyone who chooses to write Ryan/Robert fanfiction. I will, however, judge those of you who don't write it. : P
“Take me in the back of this truck, you salve-wielding man.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"Robert is the epitome of 'Is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to se...OH GOD A KNIFE.'. -LegendOfLayne, 2017
"Girl, your waffle ain't done!" -jayjackson09, 2107
"Ryan just murdered the creeping feeling that he's enjoying this." -Reiderreiter, 2017
"@cmdr_shepard_sr2 Pffft, you just watch me. I'll stab whatever daughter I want.” -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
We just got a letter. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. Wonder who it's from?
Me: Ryan, who are you to define words when you can barely speak them? : P
KatPad: @SyberiaWinx Christ, what a burn.
Ryan’s handwriting is apparently terrible?
“Pardon me, good sir. Would you mind, ever so humbly, if I tap that?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"I am disappointed. I saw no mention of vampire titties as we were promised.” - ForthwithJackal, 2017
“He thinks I’m thiiiiiicc!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Pupper!
Ryan’s shirt size is Medium.
Ryan Haywood. YouTuber. Streamer. Occasional three-year-old.
None of those couches are facing the TV.
Ray!
"I'm not crying. There are ninjas in my room, cutting onions.” -Pritchman227, 2017
Today’s Mission...................................Not Joseph.;-;
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Summary 46
Summary of: August 3rd, 2017(Dream Daddy: A Daddy Dating Simulator)
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DOGS! Screenshots!
Everyone is feeling better in the Haywood household, and Layne is back! : D
Happy birthday, Layne and iruka_yuywell, and welcome, Jothulu and AnyaFaye!
Yes, Ryan did just say “kawaii”.
NO GOATEE.
Ryan’s putting those theater skills to good use this stream.
"Ryan reading Manda's lines has watered my crops." -Bambi_NC, 2017
Actual parenting calls.
The dogs are licking eachother, and Ryan still has not put together so much furniture...
And all those Diet Coke cans...
I'm convinced Ryan's house has literally no furniture. That's the real reason Enchilada Night never happened.
Everyone’s shipping Ryan with “Jack” now.
Hey, Ryan’s one of the few people that actually WON. Good job, Ryan.
At least one Ryan is going to try and build a bed.
Ryan the Plate Thief.
Welp, Mat’s out.
Ryan VS The Sneeze.
"Sometimes a family is a daughter, a daddy, and over a thousand subscribers.” -Bambi_NC, 2017
"#glass her??” -JParadox09, 2017
Bambi_NC: I volunteer as tribute.
DmitriMolotov: *throws Bambi at her*
"I’ve been giving bad answers, except that one time the guy exploded in dicks.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
“Sounds like this guy really hates voice acting.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017, about Hugo(who is voiced by Ray)
“That’s why you don’t have an emote, Emma.” -Ryan Haywood(paraphrasing), 2017
"Press ‘X’ to Jason." -Syddthesloth, 2017
Ryan’s Southern “accent” returns.
"Don’t you LIVE in the south???" -aspentree, 2017
“Didn’t I meet that guy at the bar? Didn’t he try and put his meat in my bar?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Now he’s doing some Venture Bros voice.
Layne wants Brian’s 50-inch.
bamfmcgee62: Your Amanda voice is so bad...
Ryan: Suck it, Allison-let’s see you do this many voices.
He’s totally moving his webcam to put his head on Robert’s body. >_>;
Technical Difficulties.
Ryan’s trying to fix...something, but all we can hear is the clanking of various Diet Coke cans.
Also, bosom.
“Everyone’s going for Robert. He’ll shank ya! And the shank is his penis.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
“You can save in this game? Look at that!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Wow, Ryan is tanking this date with Robert.
“AH! My knee! I used to be an adventurer!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Today’s Mission.......................................Hammered, But Not Hammered.
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Summary 45
Summary of: August 1st, 2017(Darkest Dungeon)
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Layne, you’ve failed us. We are in agony here.
Skulls is buncing and boucnering people. D :
Will Skulls bownce someone? How do you get boonced? Can Ryan beonce people? Have I been boncregented?
"@syberiawinx Can i get beyoncéd?” -lapidermis, 2017
Me, KeriLin, and TabiKatz have formed a club of people who have no idea what is happening in this game. Tabi is also cool now. (⌐■_■)
Me: @SageBailey Robert can be whatever you want him to be, but stay away from Joseph. : P
SageBailey: @SyberiaWinx Joseph is my Dream Daddy, tbh.
Me: @SageBailey I fought KatPad for him, and I'll fight you for him. (⌐■_■)
SageBailey: @SyberiaWinx Binch, I will murder you.
Me: @SageBailey Come at me, bro.
Ryan’s getting schmeargod drunk. D :
Just name every party member "Gavin".
Get Chat Killed Simulator.
"Your crew is at the 'I regret my life decisions' point of the battle.” -Trickstress, 2017
“...So I did good, right?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017, after fleeing the battle, making Tats abusive, Ash an alcoholic, and Martias addicted to pain.
From kink-shaming to kink-giving...
Skulls is breaking things again.
"This game is way too close to real life. All these people are out fighting things and being productive, and I'm just at the tavern getting wasted.” -schmeargod, 2017
Can we all just agree that this game has awesome music and sound effects?
Ryan is now...helping the chat get laid.
Cutting the stream early tonight, so Ryan can run to the store and get Gatorade for his wife, who is sick.
Today’s Mission......................................Called Off For A Gatorade Run.
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Summary 44
Summary of: July 29th, 2017(PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Ryan is going to be the death of me if he does not start tweeting about these surprise streams well in advance. Thanks to Katpad for telling me he was streaming. : P
That said, I am currently engaged in a fight to the death with her over Joseph from Dream Daddy, so please send help. (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ
What Ryan Says: Maybe we’ll finish Wolf Among Us this weekend.
What Ryan Means: We’re playing Battlegrounds this weekend.
Apparently Ryan and company filmed a new Immersion at RTX?
Immersion: Dream Daddy? Anyone?
Cher!
Welcome, peachie_momo!
"Just some dude running around the map, taking names with his fist of furries.” -Jacknasius, 2017
Lexi’s drunk again and trying to fight Nightbot. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ryan’s encouraging people to go ice-knife-dancing again.
Ryan not a real person confirmed.
Chat has gone insane in Ryan’s absence.
"In the arms of the angles.” -Papabrown69, 2017
"In other news, water is wet.” -Allison0128, 2017
What Ryan Says: This will be the last game.
What Ryan Means: This won’t be the last game.
"Yesterday, a clown opened a door for me. I thought it was a nice jester.” - SageBailey, 2017
"Sage, I had my books all fall on me today. I guess I only have my shelf to blame.” -ravndarke, 2017
Sorry, guys, but the cooking stream is definitely at 1500 subs. D :
Next Sunday, Ryan is likely going to play Wolf Among Us. No, really. He means it this time.
Today’s Mission.......................................It’s Hard To Do Worse. Not Impossible, But Hard.
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Summary 43
Summary of: July 27th, 2017(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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"Ah, and Ryan is late. It's like I'm home again.” - Entorien_Scriber, 2017
Children! And Cher!
Heroes and Halfwits is coming back!
Ryan made the gunshot sound cheaper, a decision we all know he’s gonna regret.
Happy Birthday, roguespear1919!
GUNSHOT!
GUNSHOT!
GUNSHOT!
GUNSHOT!
GUNSHOT!
He regrets.
Apparently Gavin kept referring to Ryan as “Daddy” in the most recent Sky Factory video?O_o
Ryan almost got shot, and Laurie almost got arrested once. O_O; Laurie also craved blueberry pancakes while pregnant.
“Don’t argue with a pregnant woman. She wants blueberry pancakes, she gets blueberry pancakes.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"Beep, Beep, I’m a jeep.” -lexizinger, 2017
"Fuck your fence.” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
It's not the grenades’ fault you tend to blow yourself and your teammates up with them, Ryan.
Puppers!
“I’m an albino bush!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Ryan was finally #1! Miracles DO happen. ;-;
https://clips.twitch.tv/OriginalProudGerbilBigBrother
Warning: The above might be a game glitch.
(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ Lexizinger’s drunk as a kite.
"@Reiderreiter Some people just wanna fuck trees.” -Bambi_NC, 2017
“Michael’s still useless.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017, presumably talking about Sky Factory
"@ItsAMeWolfie Fuck that penguin.” -frecklesandfarce, 2017
"Grab the car. Don't let Ryan drive." -CastlePuncher, 2017
“We’re doing what’s called the ‘Run and Hide’.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Guess who decided to play one more round when it was already twenty minutes past midnight?
“I don’t need an intervention. That’s for people that have problems!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
"it's the year 2154, the Earth is scorched, and Ryan sits at his computer. Just one more!' he says. The chat screams.” -Bambi_NC, 2017
Ryan died, like, immediately.
Apparently, Trickstress’ map didn’t load properly, so Ryan is now acting as her eyes, and it’s pretty funny.
Ryan: No, the building you’re next to.
Trickstress: I’m...next to a building?
"Hopefully anybody she runs into is playing PUBGvia play-by-email. She might have a chance." -Raa28, 2017
Today’s Mission...................................Chicken Dinners For Everyone!
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Summary 42
Summary of: July 25th, 2017(Fortnite and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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I missed the first half hour of the stream because the title on Twitch said there wouldn’t be one tonight.@_@
roguespear1919: *asks what Ryan is going to play on their birthday*
Ryan: *says he does not know yet*
Chat: “Battlegrounds.”
"Taking a hint from Kat: I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. *badum tiss*" -Trickstress, 2017
Ryan then proceeds to only read part of the cheer and legitimately believes Trickstress is colorblind, much to the amusement of the chat.
See: https://clips.twitch.tv/RoughFriendlyWalletWholeWheat
"He's such a dumbass. LMAO.” -KatPad, 2017, after giving me the above clip
Anyone else remember Twitches?
Ryan: *says he has never worn facepaint*
ColumbiaSkies: You will.
Me: Isn't Ryan technically wearing facepaint in his Twitch pic?
KatPad: @SyberiaWinx Yeeeeeeeep, he's a dumbass.
"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association." -skelefrogz, 2017
Ryan in a suit:
https://clips.twitch.tv/HeadstrongInnocentKittenLeeroyJenkins
https://clips.twitch.tv/PreciousElegantOctopusTBCheesePull
Layne sent Ryan Dream Daddy. Layne is good people. I like Joseph and Damien, by the way.
Ryan, after getting distracted from telling the story several times, reveals he apparently almost died via electrocution messing around under his car’s hood. >_>;
CdrCain: Fuck, Ryan, if you're going to die, at least go out in a much cooler way.
Brofister111: How are you allowed to adult?!?
duke_of_the_url: Car privileges revoked.
KatPad: I love you, but you constantly exasperate me with how much of a dumbass you can be.
The stream has switched to Battlegrounds. Contain your surprise.
Neutrinobunny: You're doing the Lord's work, @SkullsAndKisses.
Me: Is @SkullsAndKisses the "cool youth minister" mod?
SkullsAndKisses: @SyberiaWinx I'll put you in the dungeon.
Me: Wear your uniform.
"@CriaTheLlama Ryan can only suck tremendously.” -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
“HOW DARE THAT PERSON WEAR CLOTHES?!” -SkullsAndKisses, 2017
Me: The plane is running slow. Ryan, pop the hood.
Ryan: I’ve learned my lesson, Syberia, about popping the hood on things today.
"As a Wisconsinite, I am legally obligated to say that Chicago sucks.” - Trickstress, 2017
I imagine @SkullsAndKisses to look like that baby doll head/spider thing from Toy Story, but with a skull.
Ryan is one of only two people left alive!!! Can he actually win?!
Aaaaaaaaaaand...nope.
He actually got into that same position again and died a second time. That’s a skill all its own. O_O;
For Storytime, Ryan read an excerpt from Jeremy’s book. : D
Today’s Mission....................................................Just Short Of Success.
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Summary 41
Summary of: July 18th, 2017(Move or Die and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Could have sworn Ryan said he WASN’T streaming tonight.@_@
NSFW?
Apparently Meg is not there yet because she’s experiencing technical difficulties, which is an irony only we can appreciate. : P
“I know you want it!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Who are all of these people in chat right now? O_O
Ryan’s winning, but apparently only because he’s cheating?
Poor Meg. D :
Livvy shows up just in time to distract Ryan! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
“Daddy’s precious ego is riding on this!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017, explaining why he can’t immediately help his child
The curtain light is out of batteries, and Ryan has none. D :
Uh-oh, Ryan’s trying to get everyone else as addicted to Battlegrounds as he is!
They’re up against a player who always kicks their butts, so Ryan put on a pair of sunglasses he stole from Schooled to “handicap” himself AKA give himself something he can blame his inevitable failure on.
“Mars has won. I could not be more disgusted by myself, or these glasses, which are clearly at fault!” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Meg: You don’t know Kiki’s Delivery Service?
Ryan: ...Do they bring you chicken?
And the game has moved to Battlegrounds, to the surprise of no one.
"Is Ryan going to pull a Ryan, though?" -roguespear1919, 2017
The chat is siding against Ryan.
So many ads! >_<
Remember, cheating is only okay when Ryan does it. : P
Oh no, he’s successfully converted Meg!
They are talking about creating their own radio drama. XD
Get rekt, Burnie.
Cher!
Ryan’s going overtime playing Battlegrounds again.@_@
Kill him, Layne. Kill him.
"Everyone v. Ryan.” -Silus5, 2017
“That’s fair. I was a bad boy.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Allison WILL turn this game into a novella.
"*dies in Spanish*" -bambi_nc, 2017
It wasn’t Layne, but Ryan was still the first death. XD
Today’s Mission...........................................................Totally Fair And Just.
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Summary 40
Summary of: July 16th, 2017(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and The Wolf Among Us)
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Sorry last night’s summary was so short. I had just gotten back from a family reunion and was exhausted.@_@ Then Ryan went overtime playing Battlegrounds. I tried to stay up, but I had to lie down. I was on the verge of passing out.@_@ So...
#BlameRyan
“I guess if we go Europe.” -Laurie’s response to Ryan’s skinny jeans.
CHER!
LIVVY!
DOGGO!
Me: Only mods can at Ryan, but he still totally misses their messages every time.
ItsAMeWolfie: @SyberiaWinx You are very not-wrong. We do try, tho.
gatertot: @SyberiaWinx Yup. FeelsBadMan.
; )
“I’m just a dirty manslut.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Ryan: Sage, you’re supposed to be an innocent little child.
SageBailey: I am. Fuck you.
Nintendo finally had mercy on Ryan:
https://clips.twitch.tv/OutstandingCalmCougarNotLikeThis
Ryan is telling people they can’t be Disney Princesses. : (
And now he’s talking about having relations with drywall...
"Wouldn't be a dry wall when I’m done with it.” -LegendOfLayne, 2017
"Shots fired!" -Eek_the_Fireuser, 2017
Ryan saw my McDonald’s comment. : D
Hooray For Voting!
Ryan Haywood, kicker of children.
GLASS HER.
Today’s Mission.............................................Bloody.
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Summary 39
Summary of: July 15th, 2017(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds)
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Ryan got a new phone and proceeded to tell us everything about it. : P
Livvy still hates sand.
“I’m trying to screw myself right now.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
Something about a fire marshal? Ryan’s tendency to keep getting distracted from telling his own stories continues.
“Why don’t steaks fly on the winds of awesome?” -Ryan Haywood, 2017
CHER!
"My stuffed lion says ‘hi’ from my bed. I think he's planning on overthrowing my Hello Kitty plush army. What have you been telling him??" -TabiKatz, 2017
How NOT To Do Crunches, With Ryan Haywood.
Ryan has put on skinny jeans:
https://clips.twitch.tv/JoyousSullenChickpeaDoggo
GUNSHOT! XD
People are pushing for Layne to do bad sex advice.
"You guys are Layne it on thick.” -Me, 2017
Maya VS Beanbag Chair Part 6!
Australian Cookie Smuggling.
Car coming.
Ryan might be playing Dream Daddy when it comes out.
Can you hear me now?
So...tired... Stream...has...gone...on...too...long...
“I don't know what that means, but it sounds like reason enough to kill somebody.” -Ryan Haywood, 2017(paraphrased)
Today’s Mission.....................................A Tight Squeeze.
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