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Something good that happened today

I saw a corgi and he was sweet and I started flapping my hands out of excitement and the owner said aww and said he thanks you for letting him.

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Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) from Mob Psycho 100 is autistic!

Suggested by: Anonymous

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The stims are strong with this one.

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you know what? it truly is the best thing ever when you find a brand new hyperfixation that you have one of the deepest connections with you’ve experienced in a extremely long time - and when you accidentally info dump about it to your friends and family, they either; completely ignore you; say “yes we know shannon so you keep saying”; or make some extremely near-sighted comment about your hyperfixation and go on about how it isn’t real and all that bullshit *cough* mum *cough*.

i know that like a lot of people deal with this and people bring it up all the time but i just really don’t know how to deal with all this enhanced emotion and irritation anymore.

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Educational fox lesson 🦊

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reblog if you support cats tucked up in bed

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*flaps my hands when I’m happy*

due to personal reasons i will be flapping my hands

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There’s a young disabled kid at my church. I’ll call her V. She’s Mexican, has glorious long hair (often braided) and big brown eyes that dominate her face. She also has microcephaly (small head) and an intellectual disability, and needs extensive daily support. She is nonverbal and uses a wheelchair that’s often pushed by her parents. Her needs are such that her family can’t get out very often, but they always come to church on Easter.

I saw she was chewing on a lanyard after Easter Mass, so I sat on the step to be eye level with her and put my Dulcimer in my mouth. I told V her dress was so pretty and didn’t get a visible reaction (as I expected.)

V clapped. And kept clapping. I started to clap at her rhythm. She clapped twice. I clapped twice. She clapped once, I clapped once. She flailed around in her chair and clapped real fast, so I flapped my hands and clapped really fast.

Then I clapped 3 times. She laughed and clapped 3 times and looked at me through the tops of her eyes like “bring it”. I laughed because she was challenging me. I clapped 3 times. She laughed. I laughed. We went back and forth having this clap-off for 5 minutes or so until we were both cracking up too much to keep a rhythm.

V’s parents acted so surprised and said they never saw V light up like that. I wasn’t surprised. V and I were having a nonverbal conversation made of rhythm and emotion. I told them such and suggested they try what I did if she starts clapping and see what happens.

I feel like neurotypicals just don’t know how to connect to people whose communications aren’t expressed in ways they’re used to. 

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My family often tells me I’m not adhd/autistic because I’m not constantly bouncing off the walls, I’m not nonverbal and I dont have tantrums. Dont you just love when neurotypical invalidate you because they are ignorant and decide to dx based on characters in movies? :)

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On relearning how to stim

I never realised that neurotypicals don’t actually feel that overwhelming need to move like I do until I met my new group of friends in university.

Unlike them, I cannot help but constantly fidget no matter what I’m doing. When I’m sitting on a chair I often rock myself without even noticing. When I’m concentrating I pick on the skin of my lips or tap my fingers in a regular rhythm. When I’m stressed, uncomfortable or tired I rub a strand of my hair against my mouth to relax and when I’m in a good mood I repeat the same sounds over and over again. This is just as natural to me as it is for other people to fidget from time to time. The difference is that I do it more often and in “unusual” ways.

These last few weeks I started reintroducing some old stims and tried a few new ones. It felt so amazing and just so right that I’m struggling to find the words to express that. I felt happy and whole.

My parents were away for a few days so I decided that it was a good time to try flapping and it just felt incredible. I was watching a TV show that I love and flapping just made so much sense to me! It immediately brought a smile on my face and I felt something like a really satisfying buzzing in my hands (I can’t explain it better).

Then a few days later I decided to take my old Tangle toy that I haven’t used for years and bring it with me to university. At first I was really self-conscious about stimming in public but I quickly noticed that people didn’t care much. Stimming during classes really helped me staying focused and I worked much better than usual. When I was playing with my tangle it was as if my sense of touch was so satisfied that I had tingles in my fingertips and at the back of my head (as if I was watching an ASMR video!). Stimming this way also helps me to lessen the disturbance I sometimes cause in class because I have too much energy and I start talking/moving/fidgeting.

But stimming isn’t always cute and happy. Sometimes I stim in ways that hurt my body. Sometimes it drives people away from me because it annoys or even disgusts them. For years I was feeling emotions so strong I had no idea how to get them out of my head. I had some really unhealthy stims but they were more discrete so no one noticed it and I kept using them as a way of relief.

Relearning to stim is changing my life because not only I am relearning how and when to do it to feel better but I am also slowly trying to replace my harmful stims with new ones that are healthy.

Stimming is necessary in my life. I need it to connected my body to my mind, to comfort myself, to relax, to express my emotions, to focus and so much more. 

Anyone reading this, please don’t feel ashamed to stim. Do it at home, do it in public transports, do it when you’re with your friends, family, at school, do it when you’re happy, upset, embarrassed, angry. Please just stim freely because it’s healthy and you are valid.

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me online: i want to live in the FOREST i want to COMMUNE WITH THE OLD GODS i want to SLEEP IN THE COOL SOFT DIRT and BE ONE WITH NATURE and PARTAKE IN RITUALISTIC REVELRY WITH THE FAE

me when i see a bug irl:

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If that’s not autistic culture, I don’t know what is lol. 

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I love doing this omg. It makes me feel nice.

Stimming by repeating words is just so nice ^u^

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me at thirteen: okay yeah I know that the one person I really connect with is autistic and I fit a lot of the symptoms but I’m Definitely Not Autistic because I’m able to carry a conversation and I don’t look super weird in public all the time.

me a little later at thirteen: okay so maybe I’m autistic but I’m gonna keep it secret no one will ever know

me now: So yeah I am autistic and I spent years of my life hiding everything about me, so now I will flap in public and have a good time. If you don’t like it than fuck you