soullessemployee - Tumblr blog

[soullessemployee]

[soullessemployee]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[soullessemployee]

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

[soullessemployee]

[soullessemployee]

[soullessemployee]

snapping my homies out of being corrupted by the curse by firmly gripping their shoulders and telling them to "get real"

[soullessemployee]

i am extremely well-adjusted and mentally healthy as long as nothing goes wrong ever at all even a little bit

[soullessemployee]

Why call it "gooning" anyway. Isn't it just edging. It's redundant. Edging is already a way better word. Edging, in comparison, sounds sexy and flirty and stylish, sophisticated even...I...Gooning has a smell. Gooning sounds like something you should be arrested for doing

[soullessemployee]

getting surgery to give me a second head so i can tell twice as many lies as usual

[soullessemployee]

Hello my dear Customers~

Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!

[soullessemployee]

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY !!!!!!

[soullessemployee]

she got that multimedia dick

[soullessemployee]

[soullessemployee]

[soullessemployee]

forget touching grass i need to touch chest hair