23|infp|closeted bisexual| constantly finding refuge in bl characters ♡ and unhealthyily attached to all the manhwa characters i come across ♡ | currently lost my sleep, social life mental health over we best love
This was a definite acting opportunity for Kurt and Chris to show how they've changed in four years, and they nailed it. Yuan was not just a different haircut: he carried himself differently, he is more confident, he's got a new calmness.
Qian was almost shy around Yuan. It came across as though the feelings are there; his shell just has to be (gently) pried open.
Lili seems mostly unchanged but her character isn't really written with a ton of depth.
The ending scene was done perfectly.
Also, me: I will not watch the preview, I will not watch the preview WHAT AN IDIOT I WATCHED THE PREVIEW.
He can give him a future of love and support and taking care of him, tenderly and gentle, of making sure he's safe and healthy and, again, loved. Because Yuan understands his brother.
Yuan's self isolation is born just as much of trauma as Qian's flashbacks and injuries are. Yuan does not easily rely on others, only looking to Qian, always looking to Qian, forming bonds so rarely and with such difficulty that he no longer even tries.
I find San Pang to be a fascinating character because it's obvious that he cares for everyone in this little family and wants them all to be safe and to be happy but he also simply does not understand Yuan no matter how much he thinks he does.
(It's the trauma, Yuan's got different trauma than Qian but it's shaped him just as surely and just as thoroughly.)
San Pang tries to get Yuan to sit with him and talk but Yuan chooses the stairs, the red staircase, the line that has always connected him to Qian, the red thread being one he can never let go of or release even when the chance is offered. He will not sever his connection... even if Qian is trying to change it.
This line is powerful and important. Qian is slow when it comes to love, slow when it comes to emotions, slow when it comes to understanding, slow when it comes to realizations and San Pang is probably thinking about the woman that Qian rejected at the office party but the truth is that this is about the relationship between Qian and Yuan and why they need the time apart, why they need time.
Because Qian is slow when it comes to this kind of thing.
This destroyed me. Entirely. Everything starts with San Pang talking about them being grown up and Qian starting to unload his burdens (not that he was except when Yuan forced him to, when Yuan pushed, because Yuan loves him) and then Yuan simply listens and asks the simply, straightforward question.
San Pang is worried about Qian but he isn't thinking about how much of all the ways Yuan has supported Qian have come from love, this love that he is telling him is impossible.
Yuan loves Qian and he knows why, he understands his feelings, he is caught in a place of love and family and this deepseated feeling that he cannot let go of, the red thread of destiny that has so long connected them and that he knows.
Yuan is not letting this go, he isn't letting anything go. He is not going to stop. He loves Qian and he knows that he is right to love him, that his love is not wrong and will not hurt him or anyone.
And that San Pang is bringing in his own judgement in this, his own meddling and worries and fears (San Pang is truly worried for Qian, he loves him in his own way, he wants them both to be able to find happiness but sees no future for them together but there is one, it's just waiting on the other side.)
There is a red thread of destiny the connects people, a red thread of fate that means no matter how far apart you are you are still connected and that red thread is woven of love.
(Light and dark and red threads bind through pain and confusion and distance.)
Some wants are like daydreams, beyond one's reach. Living only in your fantasies. Wandering if you could, if you should put an end to it once and for all.
Shout out to Unknown for demonstrating that serious injuries do have long-term affects on your body and your mind.
There isn’t an episode that goes by where we aren’t reminded of everything Qian has gone through to get to where he is. And it’s not just from flashbacks. It’s in the scars that remain on his body. The nightmares that haunt his sleep. In his interactions with women. His fierce protectiveness of his family. Qian’s triggers and responses to them make sense and don’t just appear out of the blue for dramatic effect.
So much of the emotional and physical trauma that Qian has experienced continues to impact his daily life in a way that makes him feel less like a character with a tragic backstory and more like an actual person with lived experience.