soulsvn

[soulsvn]

were raising age of consent to 31

[soulsvn]

🌍✨ A Voice from Gaza: Fighting for Hope ❤️‍🩹

Hi, my name is Mosab , and I’m from Gaza. Life here has been harder than I could ever imagine, but today I’m sharing my story with hope in my heart, because your kindness has already given us so much strength.

This journey hasn’t been easy. The war has taken 25 family members from us—25 beautiful souls we loved deeply. Their laughter, their presence, their love… all of it is gone, leaving behind memories that are both precious and painful. Every day, I carry the weight of their loss, but I also carry their spirit, which gives me the strength to keep going.

Our Journey So Far

When I first reached out, I couldn’t have imagined we’d make it this far. Your support has been a light in these difficult times, and we are so deeply grateful for every single contribution.

But the road ahead is still challenging. Every day, we’re reminded of how much we’ve lost and how much we still need to rebuild.

Here’s what life in Gaza looks like for my family right now:

🏠 Safety: The uncertainty of tomorrow weighs heavily on us.

😢 Loss: The absence of the 25 family members we’ve lost is a pain we carry every moment.

💔 Dreams on Hold: The future feels so far away when survival takes all our strength.

How You Can Help Us Cross the Finish Line Even the smallest act of kindness can make a difference:

$5 may seem small, but for us, it’s a little relief, a moment of comfort, and a reminder that kindness still exists. ❤️

Can’t donate? Reblog this post to help us reach someone who can. Every share matters more than you know.

✅️ Vetted by @gazavetters ( #309 ) ✅️

Why Your Support Matters Your kindness isn’t just about helping us meet our goal—it’s about reminding us that we’re not alone in this fight. It’s about hope. It’s about survival. And it’s about giving my family a chance to rebuild our lives, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Thank you for helping us get this far. Your generosity and compassion have already brought us closer to a better tomorrow, and for that, I’m endlessly grateful.

With all my love and gratitude,

Mosab and Family ❤️

[soulsvn]

Copped the werecat twins. Good night.

[soulsvn]

C U GIRL

Bakugo loves his girlfriend

based off this texpost and @laffythefaffy request!

slight nsfw, fluff, prohero!bakugo

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Bakugo didn’t believe in relationships.

Romantic ones, at least. Platonic ones he’d been convinced of, after the relentless nature of his classmates, but Bakugo could safely say that, at the age of twenty five, he had never been in love.

It didn’t depress him. He’d had experiences. He’d kissed and he’d fucked, and it felt good, and still he’d never had a girlfriend. His childhood was a mess of war and pain and death, and so there was no time for it then. And now, his days are filled with patrolling and missions and he doesn’t really have time for it either. Where is he supposed to meet one, anyway? The only time he goes out is when he gets dragged to the annoying 1-A meet-ups at the bar in Nagoya that are always far too loud for his liking. And Bakugo would rather keel over and die before he tried to flirt with someone in front of Denki.

But Bakugo was happy with his life. Content. Enough as a busy hero could be.

And then he met you.

He’d been patrolling that day. Quite possibly the worst part of his job. It’s more for publicity than safety, he thinks. Civilians like seeing a hero walking around and cruising the streets. It makes them feel protected and it makes his agency look good for looking out for the public. All it means for him though, is way too many people asking for interviews and pictures and the waste of a day at work.

And then he’d heard it. A loud crash and screams that echoed down the street and the sudden rush of civilians from the bookshop a small ways away. They scattered like ants and Bakugo pushed through them, breaking into a run.

Something, or someone, had crashed through the front door, glass scattered in sharp jagged pieces on the floor. That seemed to have been the extent of the damage. He ignores the clammer of a crowd behind him and steps inside, eyes scanning the shop for the source of the destruction. And he assumed the poorly dressed man standing in the middle of the place was the cause. It looked like a home-made costume that reminded him of Deku’s first ever costume, and the man wearing it looked just as weak as he had.

Bakugo sighed internally. They get a couple of guys like this every so often. People with too big dreams of fame or villainy or both, and a flashy enough quirk that they think some damage will get their name plastered on the six o’clock news. More often than not, it ends with Bakugo nearly blowing up their face and the next few years in prison.

Balugo kicked a fallen book. The man caught sight of him and stood straighter. It might have been a show of strength but Bakugo saw his hands quiver as he pointed them at the crying civilian next to him.

“Not a step closer, Dynamight! Or I’ll blow her brains out!” He yelled.

Considering the damage to the door and the way he’s wielding his hands like the weapon, Bakugo assumed this was a quirk attack. His eyes darted around to assess the situation. Other than fallen bookcases and the dust of a broken wall, there wasn’t too much damage. The place was pretty small anyway. There were four people in the room, including the villain, and judging by the fact they’re all on their feet he didn’t think they were injured. Even the one being held hostage looks fine, other than the flurry of tears falling down her face. She looks young, and Bakugo scowls.

“Let her go and I won’t have to blow your fucking hands off.” Bakugo demanded.

“No! I-I make the rules here!” It was sad, really. The kid was practically shivering. Definitely not villain material. 

Before Bakugo could do anything, like explode the sad fucker into the nearest juvenile detention centre, there’s a loud thud, and the man crumpled to the floor. Confusion flitted across his face and then he looked up and saw you. 

You, hobbling forward on one ankle, a hard-back dictionary in your hand, breathing heavily. Your clothes were wrinkled and your face flushed, chest heaving as you looked down at the man in front of you. The dictionary dropped to the floor and you cursed.

“Fuck. Did I kill him?” You mumbled, nudging his shoulder with your good foot.

You hadn’t killed him. Just knocked him out, he found after pressing his fingers against the man’s neck. He clicked on a pair of quirk cancelling cuffs and handed him off to the police, who had just arrived. He watched as they started talking to the other victims and he turned his attention to you.

“That was real fucking stupid. Don’t ever get involved in a fight like that.” He snapped.

You pouted. “I got him, though.”

Red eyes flicked down. You were looking worriedly at your ankle, hands holding you up on the counter beside you. He studied your face, the small crease of worry between your eyebrows. You suddenly glanced up at him. You gave him a small smile and he shook his head.

He crouched down, beckoning you with his hand. “Idiot. Show me your ankle.” 

You held your foot up gingerly, and Bakugo pressed his fingers against your bone, touching lighter when you wince slightly. Behind him, he could hear the commotion of paramedics checking on the other civilians, the blare of sirens from outside. Your fingers drum against the counter you're leaning on.

“Don’t think it’s broken. Just fractured.” He said, standing up again.

He saw you squeezing your wrist, stretching it out and wiggling your fingers. He nodded, gesturing at his own wrist.

“You fuck that up too?”

You laughed slightly. “No, I- I think I just hurt it when I smacked him with that book.” You shook it once. “I’ll be fine, though.”

“You got him good though. Nice swing.” 

The little comment surprised even him, and you laughed, out of shock more than anything else, and he allowed a small smile to ghost his own face. 

“Thanks. Your agency need any extra hands?” You teased and he rolled his eyes.

“Not one as dumb as you.” He drawled and you just grinned back.

He watched you glance behind you at the paramedics and back down at your ankle. You winced, pushing yourself up so that you could start the walk towards them, but he waved you off.

“Hold on.”

In one swift motion, his hands came up under your thighs, the other sweeping behind your back, and he lifted you up with ease. You made a sound of surprise in the back of your throat. Your hands wrapped around his neck and your body was warm against his.

“I’ll get you to the paramedics. They’ll fix you up.” He said.

And you were close enough that when you replied, a soft okay, he felt it rumble against his chest, could feel your fingers curl against the small of his neck. He felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach at your proximity. Not one he’s used to when he’s saving civilians.

He held you tighter as he bent over the door frame, making the disappointingly short journey to the bank of the closest open ambulance. A smiling woman came over and listened as Bakugo relayed your injuries, and you watched in keen interest as she used some healing quirk over your ankle.

Bakugo could’ve left. He should’ve left. He isn’t the type to sit and check up on the victims, he’d usually be back carrying on patrol, but. Bakugo lingered. He watched as the paramedic told you to take it easy for the next few days, and you beamed that smile at her he itched for you to aim at him. She wrapped a bandage around your ankle and you thanked her. And once the paramedic left, and your attention was back on him, he could appreciate you a little more. Outside, in the bright summer sun, your eyes shone, your skin glistening in the light as you rolled your ankle around.

“God. It must be nice to have a quirk that can just fix someone up like that.” You hummed. 

“You don’t got a quirk?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Nah. Don’t really need one when you’re running a book store, though.” 

Bakugo crossed his arms over his chest. He hoped you saw the bulge of his biceps that he definitely wasn’t trying to show off. “Right. You be more fucking careful next time.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Me? You’re the one who needed rescuing, if my dictionary wielding is anything to go by.”

He barked a laugh. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. But don’t worry. I’ll forgive you once you help me fix the store.” 

It was Bakugo’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “And who said I’m fucking doing that?” 

You didn’t bristle at his tone. Just flash those pearly whites up at him. “I’m going to have to send my workers home after that fiasco, so. I’d like an extra pair of hands. And I’d hope one of Japan's top Pro heroes would help a book owner in need.”

He rolled his eyes. “Suck up.”

But he did come back. After his shift was over, he stalked his way over the streets he’d just been patrolling and he helped you organise your shelves once more. It was unprofessional. There was probably some code or some rule in the Hero conduct that stated you definitely were not allowed to meet up with civilians you just saved and flirt with them as you alphabetised stacks of books and lifted heavy shelves.

But he did it anyway.

And then he started appearing at the shop more. It was on his patrol route, after all. And he was looking to start reading more as well. And the door to your office is rickety, and he knew how to fix that, so he had to come by again. 

And then he asked you to dinner one day and everything sort of went up from there.

So now he has a girlfriend. And a fiance soon, if things go well next week. And now that Bakugo has it, a person he can call his, he doesn’t know how he lived without it for so long. 

Bakugo doesn’t know how he spent so many years sleeping alone, when now he wakes up and his legs are tangled between yours and your head rests on his chest. You trace the scars that litter his body so gently, gentler than anyone has ever handled him. You know how to match Bakugo’s temper, but better how to calm him down when his flares too much. But it’s more than that. It’s the little things. You always make him lunch for work because you know how busy he gets, and you always leave his towel at the top of the pile because you know he gets up before you. Such small noncommittal things that make all the difference in the world because it shows that you care.

It makes him regret. He wishes he’d given these things a chance when he was younger. But he doesn’t need to think about that because he has you now. It also makes him appreciate patrolling a little more but nobody could beat that information out of him if they tried.

Bakugo sighs. The TV blares a movie he’s not paying attention to. He’d clicked the first thing that had come up in Netflix, some horror movie with an awfully predictable plot. He’s more focused on his phone, more precisely the clock, which tells him you’ll be home in about five minutes. 

Bakugo loves his days off. Any hero does. They are so far and few between that he has no choice but to enjoy them, the few days a month where he can do nothing and not worry about the fate of Japan for one day. What he likes most, though, is that he gets to see you. Before, days off consisted of sitting in his apartment alone or being dragged out to whatever activity Mina had organised for the day. Even then, the odds of them all being off was slim, and so he usually ended up doing the former. He didn’t mind it. Bakugo caught up on his hobbies, tried new recipes. The only perk is now, he gets to do it with you.

And like a miracle, he hears the jingle of your keys in the lock, and he can feel the tension in his shoulders drop. 

The door swings open and you walk in, calling out to let him know you’re home. He leans his head back on the couch until he can see you, and you grin up at him. You’re wearing an old pair of jeans and one of his hoodies, and you hang up your jacket, sighing heavily.

“Why was the store so busy? It’s Sunday.” You grumble, walking to the kitchen to drop off bags of groceries.

“Idiots like you who left their chores until the last minute.” He says, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Shut it. I nearly beat up this old lady in the fruit section. Trying to take my watermelon.” You mumble under your breath.

You slip off the hoodie, grabbing the t-shirt you’d left on the couch. You weren’t wearing anything underneath, and Bakugo got a beautiful eyeful right before you slip it on.

“Uh huh. You sure you need that shirt?” 

He tilts his head and you smile, pulling out the claw clip holding up your hair and scratching your scalp. You slip off your jeans, throwing them on the floor, and shuffle your way over to him.

“Yes. I’m cold.”

“I’ll warm you up.” 

You snort. You clamber onto his lap and Bakugo sits back, hands smoothing over your thighs as you lean your head on his shoulder. You smell like your sweet perfume and outside, and Bakugo lets a hand run up your back and into your hair.

“That’s cheesy. I could wear more layers.” You ponder and he tuts, hands moving down to slip beneath your shirt. 

It’s baggy and oversized, and covers far too much if you ask him. His hands are warm against your cool skin, and his fingers dance against your hips and up, past your waist and to your chest. You sit up, smile curving your lips and your own hands settle on his shoulders.

“So handsy. I was trying to tell you about my day, Suki.” You pout and he reaches up and kisses you.

“Go ahead. M’listening.” He nods, kissing your cheek and your jaw and down your neck.

Bakugo is selfish. He’s self-aware enough to admit that. He’s selfish with his work, the way he fought his way to the top, and still does. He’d improved on it in his growing age but he finds that when you’re involved he doesn’t give a shit. He wants every part of your, every breath, every noise that comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours.

“So, of course I tried to be nice. I’m no animal.” 

He’s not paying as much attention as he should be. In his defence, it’s been far too long since he’s gotten a chance to be with you. He’s been far to busy, and the small hours you meet in bed before you both drift off into sleep is not enough. 

“Stop being nice. It’s your biggest weakness.” He raises an eyebrow.

You flick him squarely in the forehead and he scowls. “Ow.” 

“You need to start being nice, Mr Pro hero. But anyway, she started like, trying to tug it out my hands! And you know what old people are like. So entitled.”

Bakugo nods. You feel great under his hands but. He wants something more. 

“And so now I’m in this fruit aisle sort of shouting a little because I had the watermelon first, and- Katsuki, get out of my shirt!” You laugh as Bakugo slips his head beneath, kissing his way up your stomach.

“That’s- Your hair, it tickles.” You try to push him out but he groans.

“Piss off. Keep talking. Did you kick her ass?”

You sigh. “I- Okay, wait.” 

You quickly pull your shirt off. “Is this better?”

Bakugo grins, lazy and sharp. “Much.” 

Your hand reaches up and cards through his hair. He mumbles into your skin for you to continue, and kisses his way up to your chest.

“And this employee comes over. And he started trying to diffuse the tension, but then he started defending her! And saying I should ‘respect my elders’.” You huff.

Bakugo nods. He kisses across the valley of your breast, the soft skin that presses against the stubble of his jaw. 

“You want me to beat him up?” 

“Hm. I don’t think it will look good on your agency if you beat up Whole food workers.” You sigh.

Bakugo sucks a nipple into his mouth, teeth grazing against it. You make a noise in the back of your throat. 

“And. And then I got kind of fed up. The employee had a really annoying voice.” 

Your eyes flutter shut a little when he moves to the other one. His hand comes up to grab the breast his mouth isn’t working on and you sigh.

“He. So I just gave her the watermelon. Cause it wasn’t really that serious.”

Bakugo nods. He lets go, breath cooling the air around your nipple and he glances up at you.

“You should’ve called me. I’d have blown that old hag to the nearest nursery home.” 

You giggle and he grins. His hand presses into the small of your back and pushes you closer. He diverts his attention from your tits and kisses you softly instead. At least it’s soft at first. But then you whine ever so slightly into his mouth and it’s all over after that. His lips almost devour yours, and he can feel your face heat as he nips at your bottom lip, tongue darting out to tangle against your own. Bakugo drags you closer but you huff. Your hand running through his hair pulls his head back and Bakugo frowns.

“The fuck?”

“How is it fair that I’m sitting in my underwear and you’re fully dressed?” 

“I was waiting for you to finish your story first.”

You smile warmly. Bakugo doesn’t know of anyone else who looks at him with so much love. You grab his face and squish his cheeks together.

“You’re so cute.” You coo.

“Shut up.”

“Okay, you made me too horny to finish my story. It was a stupid one, anyway. Can we go fuck now?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

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bakugo kiss challenge go kiss me NOEOWWWW

ive been sooo lazy to write recently.. this took me ages to write and it's nnot even that long.. but i hope u all enjoy!

[soulsvn]

hesitance short fic + side stories | ryomen sukuna x f!reader

summary: sukuna is a gym owner and is very fond of his least productive employee. this series is a collection of moments the two have shared together during her time working for him. side stories can be read on their own, but I highly suggest reading the fic first. tl;dr: sukuna violently pining after his employee. he needs a hug. literally everyone knows he likes her lol

genre: modern au, 18+, established friendship(?), fluff, eventual smut

fic warnings: ooc, profanity

Ko-fi link if you're feeling generous and wanted to show extra support ❤️

fic:

hesitance 1

hesitance 2

hesitance 3

hesitance 4

hesitance 5

side stories:

past

#1: what are you reading?

#2: under the influence

#3: uncle sukuna

#4: are you crying?

#5: homewrecker

#6: the interview

present

(tbd)

extras:

boss!sukuna headcanons

gymowner!sukuna aesthetics

notes: the taglist for this series is open 🫶🏻

i'm also open to suggestions for future side stories. hit the inbox if you have any!

All rights reserved © 2024 hauntedcrownpost. Do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

[soulsvn]

Not Just Anybody | baby daddy!sukuna x f!reader

summary: on the rare occasion that sukuna takes his nephew out to the park, he notices another kid with blush pink hair— a baby to be exact. he tries not to stare too much, but it’s hard not to, it’s a rare hair color. it’s not until the baby’s mother takes her out of the swing set and back into her stroller when he realizes why you ghosted him almost 2 years ago.

genre/warnings: hidden child trope, ex-fwb to co-parents to lovers, angst, fluff, smut, mood board

notes: im very excited to announce this upcoming one-shot as a part of @indiewritesxoxo friday night flicks event! the release date is still tba and im limiting the tag list to 50, but i’ll definitely be giving updates throughout the writing process ❤️

taglist is now closed

part one

part two

part three

All rights reserved © 2025 yenayaps. Do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

[soulsvn]

boxer bakugou au drabble!!

an: based off this video! a little smutty at the end. minors dni. hey again

your boyfriend walks out of his en-suite bathroom with a pristine white towel slung low around his waist, skin moist and shiny just from the shower. the binded cotton wrap around his abdomen not only makes you wince from the bruises underneath but makes you pout from his gorgeous muscled body being hidden away. he roughly dries his hair with a hand towel, always so rough as he holds his phone in his other hand.

you’ve both come home from his match, his winning boxing match. it’s been a long, action packed, anxiety rushing day for you and adrenaline punched day for him. cameras everywhere, flashing lights too. you’ve actually barely seen him today since as soon as you arrived to the arena, he was rushed away for some last minute training. having a boxer for a boyfriend isn’t for the weak, watching him get hurt on a public stage for everyone to see… but it only makes you more grateful to come home with him and snuggle in bed together at the end of the day. especially when the golden belt hangs off the side of the bed.

bakugou katsuki is usually exhausted nearing three am after a match. energy wiped from being pumped up for the week and his whole body shutting down for well needed rest. you’re expecting him to whine at you to move over so he can squeeze in next to you and kiss you to sleep.

instead he’s glued to his phone with a grin showing every single tooth in his mouth. he’s watching something, a video on repeat and you’re sure that’s your voice on the other end.

he begins to chuckle after his fiftieth watch. throwing his hair towel in the basket and grabbing some clean shorts.

“you’re so insane, baby. y’know i love you so fuckin’ much.”

his words burn all over your skin. technically it was half a compliment but you’ll take it all the same.

“insane? what are you watching?”

he yanks on his shorts, dropping the towel around his waist and heads towards you laying on his bed. you’re just in one of his big t-shirts and panties.

he slides in beside you carefully because of his bruised ribs.

“i was sent this from management. you’re adorable. my girl.”

your boyfriend shows you the video he’s been watching all evening. it currently has thousands of views.

it starts with these two guys you saw earlier in the evening talking into microphones by the boxing stage katsuki was about to get on. they both look unprofessional, like losers honestly.

“bakugou’s been shit this season, he’s gonna get murdered up there by shindou, i’ll tell you that for free!” one says laughing obnoxiously.

“he can barely hit a right hook. all bark and no bite that guy.”

you’re walking behind them, only trying to get to your seat with security guards in front and behind you. then you realise what they’re saying and you walk over to the two men to yank the microphone out of his hands. the men are gobsmacked, jaws dropped and mumbling to get the microphone back. the camera swings to you, looking stunning with your leather jacket and jeans. you’re glowing under all the lights, paired with a furious frown.

“you both say all of this shit in front of the camera but could never say this to his face. nothing you’re saying is factual, just talking straight out of your ass for what? the couple views being your mother and your dog. go get a life!” then you press the microphone in the man’s chest and walk away.

the camera struggles around then records the floor before cutting out.

watching the video back you’re perhaps a little embarrassed, acting on your emotions isn’t something you do regularly but someone saying shit about your boyfriend and you’re an engine ready to start.

“i fuckin’ love this video. my fuckin’ girl,” bakugou chuckles with pride, the pain in his abs non existent as he looks over at you. he drops his phone on his chest to give you a long smooch.

it’s minty from just brushing his teeth and his lips are moist from vaseline he scrubbed on. you give him two pecks at the end with your hand caressing his cheek.

“nothing they said made sense and they’d shit themselves if they met you in person. somebody had to say it,” you defend, all while bakugou grins at you like you’re an angel that is visiting him for the evening.

“yeah, you had to say it. stickin’ up for me while i’m backstage. you dunno what this means to me babe.” his eyes flicker to your lips then your eyes, “thanks. and you looked fuckin’ sexy doin’ it.”

you laugh softly, “obviously. i’d always stick up for you. people lying about you makes me so mad.”

he hums, “stop talkin’ you’re gonna get me excited.”

you roll your eyes but you’re so enamoured by him. just like he is by you.

“anything you want, you did win today.”

a kiss on your forehead then ruby jewels meet yours. “i wanna eat you out for a bit? my reward for tonight.”

his reward is pleasuring you for the night? you need to grab microphones off idiots more often.

[soulsvn]

i'd like to take him for a ride-

[soulsvn]

Can we get some lore on Toji and mamaguro?

megumi, sitting cross-legged on the floor, tilts his head and asks the question of the century.

“how did you and papa meet?”

you pause. toji’s eyes immediately gleam with something absolutely devious. and you know—before he even opens his mouth—that he’s about to ruin it. “ahhh, great question, kid,” toji sighs, cracking his knuckles like he’s about to tell the most important story of all time. “see, once upon a time, i was young. reckless. sexy. a lone wolf prowlin’ the streets—”

your head snaps toward him. “what.”

“—and then,” he continues, ignoring you completely, “i met this woman.” he jerks his chin toward you. “absolutely feral. scary as hell. deadly, too. had this whole mysterious cat burglar thing goin’ on.” megumi’s eyes widen. 

“like catwoman?”

“exactly!” toji claps his hands. “but hotter.”

you squint. “i took one look at her,” toji sighs dramatically, clutching his chest like a man struck by fate. “and bam!” he slaps the floor for emphasis, making megumi jump. “love at first sight.”

“…you were on the floor at first sight,” you correct. “because i threw you there.” toji grins. “same thing.”

megumi’s eyebrows furrow. “why’d you throw him?”

toji hums, tapping his chin like he’s recalling some grand tale. “well, kid, your mama wasn’t always the sweet, loving lady she is now. back in the day, she was a real menace. sharp, deadly, no-nonsense.” you roll your eyes. “and you were an idiot.”

“a charming idiot,” toji corrects, leaning back with a smirk. “but hey, you wanna hear the real story?” he gestures for megumi to sit closer, voice dropping conspiratorially. “lemme tell you how it really happened…”

 /\___/\ ꒰ ˶• ༝ - ˶꒱ ./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊

toji should’ve known better than to touch you. but in his defense, he had really just wanted your attention. it wasn’t every day you saw someone move like that—fast, sharp, deadly, with the kind of ease that made seasoned killers look sloppy. you had just wiped the floor with half a dozen guys and hadn’t even broken a sweat. so, naturally, toji thought it would be real cute to tap your shoulder. 

“yo, sweetheart, what’s your—”

before he could finish, his back slammed against the pavement, skull bouncing off the concrete. you stood over him, eyes sharp, unimpressed, like you were deciding whether or not to finish the job. “touch me again and i’ll break your arm,” you said. toji, lying there with a grin stretching across his face, thought, damn.

toji was relentless. “shiuuuu,” he whined, draping himself over the back of shiu’s chair like a dead weight. “c’mon, man, just once. put me on a job with her. please.” shiu didn’t even look up from his paperwork. “for the last time, no.”

“why not?” toji huffed. “we’d be great together.” shiu sighed. “no, you’d be a menace. i don’t have time to deal with you getting distracted and showing off for your crush mid-mission.” toji crossed his arms. “what? i would not.”

shiu finally glanced at him. toji looked away. shiu raised an eyebrow. toji grumbled, “okay, maybe a little.”

shiu shook his head. “go away.” but did that stop toji? absolutely not.

the man campaigned like his life depended on it. followed you around whenever he saw you, made a damn fool of himself trying to impress you—sparring without a shirt (useless, you didn’t even blink), dramatically taking down targets in the most unnecessarily flashy ways, dropping the occasional sweetheart or princess just to see if he could get a rise out of you. nothing. you remained cool, detached, frustratingly uninterested. 

until one day, when you finally looked at him and said, “if i agree to work with you, will you shut up?” toji lit up like a kid on christmas. “yes.”

“fine.”

“wait, really?”

you shrugged. “shiu thinks you’re useful enough to keep around, so i’ll give it a shot. but if you slow me down, i’m leaving you behind.” toji grinned. “babe, you’re gonna love working with me.”

(you did not love working with him. at first.)

the first mission together was a disaster. not because it went wrong—oh no, everything was executed perfectly. but because toji spent the entire time trying to get you to laugh. he was muttering jokes over the comms, making faces when no one was looking, even tossing out ridiculous one-liners mid-fight just to see if he could crack your composure. nothing. you were focused, professional, as if you didn’t even register his antics. 

until the job was done, and he caught you, just for a split second, hiding the smallest smirk. toji nearly died on the spot. "i knew you had a sense of humor," he said, triumphant. you rolled your eyes. “if you mess around too much, you'll get yourself killed.” toji grinned. "nah. gotta stick around. haven’t won you over yet.”

(he did. eventually.)

 /\___/\ ꒰ ˶• ༝ - ˶꒱ ./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.. ₊ ⊹ . ₊˖ . ₊

megumi listened like it’s a live-action soap opera. “and guess what?” toji smirks, elbowing your side. “it worked.”

“against my better judgment,” you mutter, crossing your arms. megumi tilts his head. “but you like him now.”

toji grins, looking smug. “yeah, mama. you like me.”

you stare at him. then, with a perfectly measured swing, you whack the back of his head so fast that he blinks in shock. then, suddenly, something in his face changes. the slow grin. the slight daze in his eyes. “damn,” he breathes. “that’s exactly why i fell for you in the first place.”

megumi makes a disgusted face. but toji, still caught in whatever lovestruck spiral he’s in, just stretches and leans back against the couch, arms crossed behind his head. “it’s true, y’know,” he hums, reminiscing. “with other people, i was a cold bastard. with your mama? blubbering puppy.”

megumi looks at you for confirmation. you sigh. “unfortunately, yes.”

megumi squints. “prove it.”

toji’s grin widens.

somewhere, in an alternate flashback—

“alright, asshole, you got three seconds to start beggin’ before i blow your damn face off,” toji growls, pointing his gun at some poor soul tied to a chair. the guy trembles. “p-please, i—”

“not you, dumbass, him,” toji grunts, jerking his thumb toward his colleague—shiu, who is standing off to the side, looking like he has an unfortunate headache. “toji,” shiu sighs. “just finish the job.”

“nah, nah, lemme enjoy this.” toji cracks his neck. “c’mon, big guy, scream f'me.”

footsteps. and before the victim can even register what’s happening, toji suddenly changes. in half a second, he goes from “demonic assassin ready to pull the trigger” to—

“BABE!!”

his voice shoots up an octave. the victim stares. and then he watches—in real time—as the fearsome assassin fushiguro toji throws his loaded gun on the table and immediately goes soft. “babe,” toji beams, turning toward the door. “didja eat yet? you sleep okay? what’s up? what’s goin’ on?”

the victim blinks. you walk into the room like nothing is out of the ordinary, sipping a bottle of water, giving the scene a quick glance before meeting toji’s gaze.

“you forgot your lunch.”

you hold up a neatly wrapped bento box. toji gasps. "awww, babe, you love me.”

the victim gapes as toji practically skips over to you, completely forgetting he was in the middle of a goddamn interrogation. the target, still bound to his chair, is on the verge of tears. “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING—”

back to the present—

megumi, jaw slightly dropped, slowly turns to his father.

“…you are pathetic.”

toji grins. “nah. i’m in love.” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “you were in love. now you’re just embarrassing.”

megumi nods in agreement. toji scoffs. “y’know, if this is the kinda disrespect i get in my own house—”

“—you can leave,” you and megumi say in unison. toji groans, flopping dramatically onto the floor. but secretly? he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[soulsvn]

Desiderium - Chapter 2

Series Masterlist | AO3 Link

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu X Female Reader X Satoru Gojo

Genre: Reincarnation AU, Marriage AU, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn

Summary: Set in Tokyo, Japan, you and Yuuta were past lovers separated by the cruel hands of fate. That same fate brought you to him again a century later, but while you hold no memories of him or the beautiful life you had shared with him in the past, Yuuta remembers everything. He's waited forever to see you again, yearning for your love, not knowing that you already belong to someone else.

Word Count: 12K+

Content Warnings: None for this chapter.

Art drawn by @alwhmd_ on Twitter (commission)

“Hey, you’re late.”

Satoru’s rare greeting comes unexpectedly, staggering her before she can close the entrance door. 

“Oh—yeah, hi,” she replies with a smile, wondering why she sounds so strained. She lies. She knows exactly why. She was in the middle of reeling in the sweetness of the dream she had the previous night when her boyfriend’s voice broke in so suddenly into her head and disrupted the thousands of images of Yuuta she had inside, all at once. 

Dropping her keys on the counter, she makes her way further into the living room to find Satoru reclining on the couch, his feet on the table with his X-Box controller in his hands.

“How was work?” he questions, though both his heart and his mind are clearly somewhere else.

“It was…” Terrible. I couldn’t stop thinking about what nearly happened in the dream. And that makes me feel even worse because I shouldn’t have been thinking about another man at all. “Okay,” she finishes, to which he simply hums in response. “I didn’t think you’d be home this early. You said you had plans tonight.”

“Yeah, Suguru fucking canceled on me, so now I’ve got nothing to do.” He jams his thumbs repeatedly over the buttons, boredom in his face. The TV blares with the horror game he recently bought, though seeing how he’s finished an endless list of DVDs in the same genre, perhaps even the craziest jumpscare starts to feel a little dull to him.

“That’s okay, we can hang,” she offers, dragging a cushion over to her lap as she sits beside him. “Do you wanna watch a movie? It’s been a while since we—”

“Baby, I’m hungry,” he cuts her off, almost as if he didn’t realize she had words coming out of her mouth. Tossing his console to the side, he drops his head onto the pillow, looking up at her. “Did you get something for me?”

It takes her a second to answer, her heart grazed by his blatant disregard, but she’s grown accustomed to the pain. “No. Like I said, I didn’t know you’d be home. I thought about buying you something sweet, but you still have your puddings, so I didn’t—”

“Boooo,” he pouts, spoiled. “You could’ve gotten me something else.”

“I’m… You’re right, sorry.”

“It’s fine. Should we order some takeout, then?”

“Umm… What if we cook something? We can do it together. It’ll be fun.”

“What if you cook something for me?” Satoru grins. “It’ll be just as fun, I’m sure.”

“But…” She balls her fingers on the couch, forcing out a smile. “Remember how we promised to take turns? I’ll cook if you do the laundry.”

“I’ll do the laundry after you cook.”

“I already cooked for you the other day, Satoru, and you didn’t even do your chores.”

“’Cause I hate doing chores,” he whines, jutting out his lip. “You know what? Fine. I like cooking better anyway. If I make dinner tonight, will you do my laundry?” He sits up, his eyes sparkling like a child’s. He acts cute, wiggling his eyebrows as he sings, “I’ll make you whatever you want~”

She huffs out, “Fine,” only because she knows he won’t change his mind. 

“Yay, you’re the best!” Pecking her head before he jumps off the couch, Satoru makes his way to the kitchen with a hum. “So, what is it going to be, Your Grace? Classic chicken fajitas or the magnificent spaghetti aglio e olio Ala Chef Gojo?”

In a flash, a memory of the last time she spent with Yuuta—the real version of him—resurfaced. 

“There’s a new restaurant opening just a block away from here,” Yuuta said as he escorted her back to the nearest subway station after spending quite some time together in the library. They slowed down their pace the closer they got to the place, not wanting to part ways just yet. “They got amazing reviews. Do you have time to spare? I know how much you like Asian food. I thought maybe you’d like to try.”

She raised a suspicious brow. “I never told you I liked Asian food.”

If he sweated, he didn’t make it too obvious. “Everybody likes Asian food. It’s not that hard to guess.”

“Huh.” She poked her tongue against her cheek, eyeing him suspiciously just to see him fidget on his feet. “Fine. But if you can guess what I’m about to order, I’ll start filing a restraining order on you ’cause you’re definitely my stalker.”

“Okay.” He let a moment pass. “It’s not tonkatsu, is it?”

Feeling playful, she gasped, dramatic and loud, while pointing a finger at him. “Stalker!”

“A wild guess, I swear!” He raised both hands in the air, grinning.

“I think I’m gonna have to do a background check on you, Okkotsu. I don’t trust you.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think my history of being a kindergarten teacher would amuse you.”

She gasped again, repeating the exact same gesture. “Pedophile!”

He paled, noticing how a couple of adults walking before them started to turn their heads. “S-stop,” he whispered, “People are looking—”

“Police, help!”

 Yuuta leaped over to cover her mouth, begging her to stop as he broke into a cold sweat. “I’ll let you go if you promise not to shout again.” She nodded. “Y-You promise?” She gave another nod. “Okay…” Though reluctant, he decided to believe in her words, breathing out in relief when she cast him her innocent smile. “So, about the restaurant—”

“OFFICERS, OVER HERE!”

She smiles at the recollection of how he chased after her on the street, their waves of laughter echoing through the crowds like two teenagers running high on dopamine. It was fun, a rare occasion where she felt Yuuta finally let loose around her, acting much younger than his age. 

I wish I could see him now, she can’t help thinking. I want to see him laugh like that again. He’s—

“Bunny?” 

—not supposed to be in my mind. She breaks past Yuuta’s name in her thoughts, fumbling in her attempt. “Y-yeah?”

“What, something funny?” Satoru asks, raising a curious brow. “You were smiling to yourself.”

“Oh, I was just—” She clears her throat. “Never mind. Did you ask me something?”

“Yeah. What do you wanna have for dinner?”

“Oh, umm…” She turns flushed, somewhat jittery. “Something simple like… Like tonkatsu, maybe.”

“Tonkatsu?” He frowns upon her words. “I didn’t know you liked that.”

“I-it’s just something we haven’t eaten in a while.”

She doesn’t sound convincing, and she knows he senses it, too. Whatever it is running through his mind, he chooses to ignore it—or perhaps he doesn’t care. “I mean, I can make that, but… I don’t know, babe. I think we should go with spaghetti tonight,” Satoru says, retrieving a pot from the top drawer. “We’ve got all the ingredients, and it’s easier for me to make. That’s okay, right? We can order tonkatsu some other time, promise.”

She smiles, weak but hopefully not empty. “Sure.”  ***

Her dream continued last night, and it seemed to pick up not long after they departed from the kimono store. She thanked all the deities above for not letting time pass by so quickly, but the question she wanted an answer to remained untouched. She was still just as curious and just as clueless about the question Yuuta had asked her after their near-kiss situation. And there was no way she could find out now or ask about it, seeing she had no control over her lips. The dream, like always, had already written a script for her to follow, and she was just a marionette, while she—the dream version of her—was her puppeteer. 

They arrived at the theatre just a moment ago, their soles landing on the concrete ground after spending half an hour inside a carriage, stealing glances at each other. Moonlight shone above them, a comforting beauty to the graphite night, rivaled only by the tenderness of Yuuta’s smile. “Shall we?” he asked, extending his hand for her to take.

Her heart bore a weight she wished she could chase away. Nevertheless, she flashed him her best smile, accepting his offer.

Her anxiety nearly got the best of her when she was welcomed into a theatre filled with hundreds of unidentifiable faces, ones that belonged to strangers associated with luxury and aristocracy. Even when she was shrouded in the finest clothes she’d ever worn, she still felt like she didn’t belong, sticking out like a sore thumb among the crowd. 

Yuuta held her hand tighter the second he sensed her breaking into a cold sweat, smiling softly to pacify her. “You don’t have to greet anyone if you don’t want to,” he reminded her again with the kindest, understanding tone. “Try to think that it’s only the two of us here. No one else matters.”

To be the only two in the world… That would’ve been so nice, wouldn’t it?

But she knew how proud he was to have her at his side at that moment. How, had she given him the chance, Yuuta would have been so eager to introduce her to his associates and show just how lucky he was to have such a woman holding his hand. Despite how nerve-racking it sounded, it delighted her truly. 

“Let’s go meet your friends,” she said with a smile, squeezing his hand. It took her a little more effort to assure him that she’d be fine with it before he bought her words. 

Beaming with elation, he exclaimed, “They’re going to love you!”

Such a naive thought, she uttered inwardly. Unlike him, she kept her expectations low. A wise choice, it turned out, because once Yuuta presented her formally to a few men and women he considered to be his colleagues, she was met with scrutinizing eyes and words that were too honeyed to be coming from the heart. They weren’t fond of her; it was clear for her to see, but Yuuta was drowning too deeply in excitement at the thought of introducing her to everyone to decipher the fake lines within their smiles.

They bumped against a couple in particular. A man, older than him by a few years, she assumed, and a gorgeous, short-haired lady who was just about her age. The man’s look was striking enough to be remembered—a pair of sharp brown eyes, his chin held high, and a haughty grin plastered on his thin lips. He would’ve been a beautiful man if he hadn’t let his arrogance taint his face, his smirk too revolting for anyone to look past. The two of them were dressed traditionally in kimonos just like she was, but the way they carried themselves, brimming with confidence and a sense of superiority, made them seem completely different.

“Naoya-sama,” Yuuta greeted with a proper bow, although from the side, she could tell he couldn’t put his heart into it. He performed the same gesture to the lady standing behind him. “Mai-sama.”

“Oh, please. Mai is fine, Okkotsu-sama,” she crooned, folding her paper fan to give him her respect. 

“Then, please, call me by my name as well,” Yuuta says. “Perfect timing. I want you to meet someone. This lovely lady here is…” He introduced her to the couple, a pleasant look taking over his face as if looking at her for even a second washed away all the turmoil arising in his heart just a moment ago. 

“P-Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” she lowered her head to them. None of them returned the bow. 

“My, my,” Mai cooed with a ridiculing smile playing on her curvy lips. “When I heard that my sister wasn’t planning to attend the event, I was expecting it was because you weren’t going to come. But now, you’re here with this…” She let her sentence hang in the air, sizing her up. “Girl,” she finished disparagingly.  “This is quite… surprising, I must say.”

Mai might have been dressed sophisticatedly in a stunning bold red kimono, but her stare and attitude toward her were anything but. The clear contempt in her words ached her heart, but it didn’t hurt as much as the mention of another woman.

Her sister… A Zenin? She swallowed. Isn’t Zenin one of the most prestigious clans in the country? She nibbled on her lip, her fingers curling against the side of her kimono. What kind of relationship does her sister have with Yuuta for Mai to expect her to come with him? She pondered agitatedly, but among the storms in her head, the one that struck her the most was—

What do I have to offer against someone like her?

“Oh,” Mai sighed dramatically, “Nee-sama will be heartbroken when she hears about this. Should we keep this a secret, Yuuta-sama?”

“There seems to be a misunderstanding,” Yuuta corrected her, his tone remaining polite and patient. “Maki-san and I are nothing more than friends. I think I’ve made that clear before.”

Mai threw a deriding glance at the woman standing beside him before she tossed another sickening, saccharine smile at him. “My apologies, I must have forgotten.”

Hearing their conversation, her heart twisted for two reasons. 

They’re just friends, she recalled, which assured her.

But he calls her Maki-san, which meant he was close to her enough to be addressing a noblewoman by her name. 

“You heard him, Mai,” Naoya chimed in with a smirk. “He doesn’t care about her. No one does.” 

Yuuta’s jaw twitched. “That’s not what I—”

“Okkotsu,” he grinned. “I wouldn’t have guessed for a thousand years that you’d have the bravery to bring someone like her here. Does your old man know about this?” He leaned in, his lips pulled back to show a string of pointy teeth. “Should I tell him? Your father must be ecstatic to learn how his little, obedient son wastes his time with a commoner.”

It hurt. Of course, it hurt. But more than that, it caused her resentment to boil. She could take any insult her way, but if it involved him, her anger would flare within seconds. She would’ve berated Naoya for his poor manners if she owned the power, but she didn’t wish to stain Yuuta’s reputation more than she already had. There was truth in his words, and that was the one thing she couldn’t fight back.

Not knowing what else to do, she just balled her small, silk-woven pouch between her hands, forcing herself to stay mute. 

I shouldn’t have agreed to this, she thought to herself regretfully,placing her gaze on the ground. I should’ve just—

“What goes between my father and I is none of your business.” Yuuta held his head high, ice in his voice, too thick to be dismissed that it even silenced the prideful young man before him. A smile still graced his lips, but the warmth in his eyes had morphed into something dark. “And if you consider yourself a nobleman, I suggest you try and behave like one, starting with how you treat my lady.”

My lady. His words rang like carillons in her head, vibrating to her every being and setting it to flames. With her heart pounding, she sneaked a glance at him, watching how Yuuta’s cold stare remained unwavering on the young lord’s face. 

Naoya’s lips tightened as his vexation grew, but whatever it was that he saw in Yuuta’s gaze caused him to swallow back the poison he wished to spit out. Instead, Naoya dragged his eyes to an easier target—the perfect choice to push Yuuta’s buttons. 

Feeling his attention on her, she brought her gaze to the carpeted floor, tense. She expected Naoya’s spiteful words to cut through her chest, preparing herself for them, but what she received was a pair of lean fingers framing her chin, forcing her to lift her stare before she could process the situation. 

Naoya stood before her, his stare denigrating, coated with a layer of interest. “Let me see your face—”

Yuuta’s hand wound around his wrist with a grip strong enough to make his veins resurface on his knuckles, stopping the other man from laying another finger on his woman. 

Naoya flinched, his face contorting in pain. “Easy, Okko—”

“I suggest you keep your hands to yourself,” he said through clenched teeth, low and dangerous. “Naoya.”

She froze, staggered to see the always courteous Yuuta tossing away his manners to put on a brazen display of his anger. The suppressed rage in his voice was something she’d never expected to flow out of someone as sweet and merciful as him. And as she returned her gaze to his company, it appeared it struck them all just the same. 

To address the next lord of the Zenin Clan by his name was one thing, but to threaten him in front of everyone’s eyes to see… She prayed that it wouldn’t unravel their relationship into something worse than this. 

Naoya’s arrogant smile was long gone, replaced by thin lips quivering in the resentment he couldn’t unleash. He yanked his wrist free. He chose not to put up a fight, but whether he did it out of consideration of where they were or because he simply lacked bravery for it, she could not tell just yet. She wondered if Naoya felt fear from how quickly Yuuta’s personality switched whenever she was involved. She definitely did. It frightened her as much as it excited her. 

“N-Naoya-sama,” Mai shortened the distance between them, speaking quietly as she tugged on the sleeve of his kimono. “People are looking this way.”

She glanced at her surroundings to realize that her words were true. Yuuta did not care about it, not in the slightest, but Naoya did.

With a scoff, he chose to leave the scene. “I suggest you mind your fucking manners,” he snarled through gritted teeth, intentionally knocking his shoulder against him. “And it’s Zenin-sama to you, Okkotsu.” 

Yuuta remained quiet and unfazed, not giving him the satisfaction of getting any reaction out of him. Mai followed closely after her cousin’s trail, hiding the bottom half of her face behind her paper fan as she walked. As the Zenins disappeared into the crowd, she felt the tension lessen in the air.

And with it, her beloved Yuuta returned.

“Are you all right?” he quickly checked on her, his face contorted in concern as if lines of anger never flashed across them. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that. I was planning to avoid them, but—”

“Okkotsu-san.”

They froze, turning their heads around to see another man detaching himself from a group of people to pay them his greetings. He appeared to be a year younger than Yuuta was, dressed in a pure white kimono and a black haori that stood in stark contrast to the color of his eyes. His jet-black hair was untamed, pointing in every direction. His scowl appeared to be permanent on his otherwise very juvenile face, but his jade-like eyes were pretty. Fierce and piercing, but pretty.

“Oh, that’s Megumi,” Yuuta regained his affable smile within an instant. He held her hand, telling her, “He’s one of the close friends I wanted to introduce you to. Come.”

They met him halfway, her body turning rigid under his eyes. Megumi took one look at her, examining thoroughly but far from criticizing. If anything, his sharp gaze turned gentler once he captured the emotions shown on her face. “Good evening,” he said, performing a polite bow. “I believe we haven’t met. Megumi Zenin, my lady.” 

Another Zenin. Her agitation swelled. “H-hello,” she mimicked his gesture.

“It’s nice to see you again, Megumi.” Yuuta’s delight was exhibited clearly in his voice. “How long has it been?”

“Around a month or two? It’s a pleasure to see you, too, Okkotsu-san.” Megumi appeared quite stern for a man his age, but when he tossed his smile at her, small yet genuine, it lightened all the weight in her chest similarly to how Yuuta’s did. “And you, as well.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Zenin-sama,” she bowed.

“Megumi is fine. I’m not really fond of being addressed by my family name. I don’t want to put any distance between us.” 

Ah, she understood immediately. No wonder they get along.

He turned to Yuuta. “Is she…?”

The said man turned red before he gave him a little nod.

“I see,” Megumi gave her a little smile. “It’s nice to finally put a face on it.”

She blinked. “Pardon?”

“Oh, this man right here,” Megumi explained, lightly bumping his shoulder against Yuuta’s. He was dropping all formality, behaving around them the way a friend would, and with it, he put her at ease. “He hasn’t been able to stop talking about you since the first day he met you.”

Yuuta’s blush turned a shade darker. “M-Megumi—”

“He’s been talking about you so often that I’ve been contemplating chopping my ears for good, truth be told.”

“Megumiiii,” Yuuta whined despite being older, pleading for him to stop while clutching his sleeve like a child. She giggled at the sight, which caused both men to stare at her in surprise before their gazes softened in endearment. 

Yuuta, particularly, breathed out in relief, knowing she’d finally rediscovered the strength to smile again.

“Thank goodness,” he said. “I was worried you wouldn’t smile again tonight after what happened with Naoya.”

She grew embarrassed. Was my face that obvious to read? “I wasn’t going to let my mind linger on that for too long.”

“That’s right, you shouldn’t.” Yuuta took a step closer toward her, no longer remembering that he was in public with a friend to keep him company. Like always, he granted her his full attention, fixing the loose hair that fell from her bow. “I’m not sure if you know this, but… I feel truly honored tonight to have you by my side. So pay no mind to anyone else, and just focus on me. Focus on how I feel about you.”

She took a breath, urging her palpitating heart to slow down. “All right…”

“That’s nice,” Megumi muttered flatly. “But I’m still here in case you’ve forgotten.”

“S-sorry,” they both spoke in unison, breaking free from the invisible force that drew them together. “Have you met Itadori-kun and the rest? I want them to meet her, too.” Yuuta quickly added, “If she’s willing.” 

She smiled and gave him her approval.

“I have,” Megumi replied. “They’re already seated inside. The show will start in a few minutes. You can talk to them afterward.”

“You’re right. We should go to our seats. I will see you later then, Megumi.”

The young man nodded, and with a slight bow of his head, he excused himself and proceeded to the house. 

Holding onto Yuuta’s wrist, she asked, “I’d love to meet your friends, but we must return the kimono before the store is closed. Will we make it in time?”

“Oh, umm…” He sweated, scratching a finger to his cheek. “There’s… no need for us to do that.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I already bought it?” He followed his line with a nervous chuckle. At the sight of her dropping her jaw, staring at him in disbelief, he hastily diverted her attention. “Oh, did you hear that? I think the concert’s starting.”

She gripped him by the wrist, glowering at him. “We will talk about this later.” 

He gulped, “Y-yes, Ma’am.” ***

Time flowed faster in her dream than her mind could retain all the details.

The concert was as gorgeous as she thought it would be and more, magical from the very first echo of the cello string being plucked to the glorious symphony that blessed her ears till the end. She was enraptured in every second of the best hours of her life, her fingers dancing on her lap to the tempo, itching to run the same piece on her worn-out piano. 

The little gathering she had with his friends was unexpectedly pleasant, too.  There were three of them, she recalled, excluding Megumi—Yuuji Itadori, whom she’d learned in the past half an hour of knowing him, had a smile that could rival the summer sun itself; Nobara Kugisaki, a young lady who appeared to be curt and judgmental at first, only to resonate very well with her in the next minute once she learned about her encounter with Mai, all due harboring the same amount of hatred toward her; the last one was Toge Inumaki who quirked her interest due to the mischievous glint he wore in his eyes despite being very reticent about himself. She didn’t expect them to be so welcoming, knowing how all of them were sitting in different social positions than her. It was very heartwarming, to say the least, and she could understand why Yuuta was fond of them. It certainly didn’t take long for her to feel that way as well.

“Did you have fun?” Yuuta asked her with a crooked smile, amused at how she was still swaying on her feet to the beat of her own hum even when a fair amount of time had passed since they left the theater. 

“Did I have fun—Yuuta,” she sighed into the air, bliss sketched over her face. “This is the best night of my life. To hear one of my favorite Liszt’s works performed before my eyes in such a grandiose way… I wish I could rewind the time so I could see it again.”

“Which one was that again? The second song? I know the first one was from Beethoven.”

“The second one was Radetzky March by Strauss.”

“Oh, the third one, then. I saw you smiling the entire time when it was performed.”

“The third one was Serenade by Schubert—Yuuta.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Do not tell me you fell asleep during the performance. I might have to commit a serious crime to you if that was the case.”

Yuuta laughed, and it was adorable. He was more beautiful than words could say. “I admit I was… a bit distracted throughout the show,” he bashfully smiled. “I, umm… I was worried about how your reaction would be. I kept thinking whether you’d like it or not. Whether our seats were too far from the stage or too close. Whether the setlist was to your liking—everything worried me. I know very little about classical music—I know nothing compared to you—but I wanted this to be one of the best experiences you’ve ever had. So, I kept glancing at you to make sure you were enjoying it, and then…” His heart swelled with joy and relief, all written in his eyes. “I saw you smiling.” The bow of his lips made his eyes thinning into pretty lines, beaming at her. “I’ve never seen you look so happy. And seeing you so happy made me feel happy, so I kept looking at you, and before I knew it, the concert ended,” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he grew embarrassed. “I’m such a fool, aren’t I?”

She nearly clung a hand to her chest. She had lost count of how many times she had fallen for him today. Over and over again, she asked herself, am I allowed to be this happy? To have such a wonderful man like him—a man who could have anything the world could offer—love me so ardently like this? 

“I was happy,” she whispered back, stopping in her tracks to grasp his hand in gratitude. “I am happy. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, all because of you. Thank you, Yuuta. Truly.” She locked their eyes together, hoping he’d fathom just how much tonight meant to her. “For everything.”

His gaze dropped to their joined hands, crimson bursting on his face. “I—you—you’re welcome.”

She could never get enough of him when he turned beet red over the slightest touch. At this rate, he’d die over a kiss, she giggled to herself—until the thought sank in. 

A… kiss..?

Her mind wandered back to the intimate moment they shared in the changing room, how his gaze lingered on the inviting shape of her mouth, how her own darted back and forth between his eyes and his beautiful thin lips. 

He was… about to kiss me back then, wasn’t he..?

Now that she mulled about it again, maybe she’d die over a kiss.

“So, umm—” Quickly growing hot under the collar, she diverted the topic, hoping he wouldn’t notice the oddity in her actions. “You said you didn’t know much about classical music.”

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ve never touched an instrument my whole life.” 

They carried on with their late-night stroll. She took a couple of steps ahead of him, too mortified to catch a glimpse of his face as improper thoughts continued to gyrate in her head. “That’s weird.” 

“Weird?” He raised a brow. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you’ve played some before.” Inside the books she read, they always seemed to portray children—those born out of wealth and royalty—getting musical lessons during childhood. It was the source of her envy back when she was younger, as well as one of the main reasons why she dedicated hours of her life to practicing music—to make herself equal somehow. “What do you like to do, then? When the heavens above granted the high and noble prince Yuuta Okkotsu some time to spare, what kind of wondrous things did he do?”

He scrunched his nose adorably at her choice of words. “I like to read.”

“Oh, dear, what a surprise,” she replied flatly, followed by an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “Come on now,” she bumped her shoulder playfully against him. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

He pondered for a moment, hesitation hinted in his tone. “Well, umm… I like to paint.”

“Really?” She blinked. “Why haven’t you mentioned it before? More than that, why haven’t you shown me any of your work yet?”

He tittered a little tensely, “Because I’m still learning, and I’m… not really confident with my skills.”

“There you go, acting humble again,” she pouted. “Yuuta, you’re brilliant at anything you do. I’m sure your paintings are wonderful. I would love to see them one day. What kind of art do you do?”

“I started by learning how to do realistic drawings. But now, I paint landscapes more.”

Landscapes, huh… As she marveled at the thought, her eyes naturally landed on the scenery before her. It was only then she realized that they had strayed quite a long way from Shinagawa, one of the busiest wards in Tokyo. They’d just continuously walked without knowing where their feet would take them, too engaged with each other to pay heed to their surroundings. Before she knew it, they had reached the edge of the city, their hair ruffled by the ocean breeze as they now stood with their hands on the railing. 

For a moment, she basked herself in the calmness of the seaside. It felt strange to see it so quiet, knowing how crowded it could be under the sun, particularly during the peak of summer. The percussion of waves caressed her ears like a mother’s lullaby, and if this wasn’t a dream, she could probably taste salt in the air. The velvety night sky lacked the presence of the white-gold moon, but the stars painted their reflections on the water, each fragment becoming a part of the body of brine, turning it into a blanket of diamonds. 

She suddenly felt the weight of his coat on her shoulders, something to shield her from the night breeze. She turned her head just enough to thank him for his courtesy.

“I wonder how the world looks like through your eyes,” she said, musing on just how much of this beauty he could capture with his hands, how much of its tranquility he could imitate on a blank, dull canvas. With his gentle, meticulous hands, perhaps he could even bring life into it. “Must have been beautiful. You always seem to catch even the slightest detail. Maybe it’s more because your heart is so pure that the world seems prettier in your eyes. You always look at the bright side of things, your mind trained to find beauty instead of focusing on imperfections just like everybody else. I think that’s a very wonderful trait to have.”

He blushed, “Y-you speak too highly of me.”

“Which makes me so curious.” She smacked her hand against the railing, startling him. “I want to see you draw! Can you do it now? If I give you a paper and a pencil, can you sketch something for me?”

“I… can,” he said unconvincingly, turning stiff. “B-but not when you’re with me.”

“What? Why not?”

 “Because you’ll make me nervous. I’m already nervous, even now.”

“Yuuta, please,” she chuckled. “It’s just me.”

“It’s because it’s you,” he corrected, causing her to grow mute. “It’s… because it’s you,” he repeated, much softer this time. “If there was one person I wanted to impress—one person whose opinion mattered to me, it would be you. I’ll show you my work one day, I promise, just… Just let me prepare my heart first.”

The soft glow of the lamp posts above them was enough for her eyes to witness the plum blossom petals being carried by the wind. Some of them made their way to the sea. A few stroked their cheeks before they danced away. One of the petals was caught in his hair, shell-pink in pitch-black sea. And as she looked at it, giggling internally at how very… heroine-esque he looked like this with his face gorgeously illuminated by the warm light, a flower in his hair, a pretty blush, and a hand plastered over his racing heart.

Once he calmed down, Yuuta inclined his head to the side, curious as to why she was watching him. But she was always watching him, wasn’t she? Her eyes always returned to him, even when she didn’t realize it. “Umm… Did I say something wrong?”

“No. Just being incredibly dramatic,” she said affectionately. “Thank you for thinking about me that way. Stop saying things like that, though. You’re making me feelembarrassed.”

“S-sorry,” he fidgeted.

“I’m joking. Can you bend down a little for me?”

“What? Why?”

“You have a flower in your hair, Princess,” she giggled. He’s like a scared puppy. She rose on her toes, reaching up to steal the tiny flower. He held his breath in the sudden proximity, staying as still as a statue as she brushed her hand against his strands. Yuuta watched her with his heart worn on his sleeves, a lovesick boy down to his core.

“So, you paint, and you read.” She placed the flower on his palm, curling his fingers around it. “Is there something else you do to pass the time?”

It took him a couple of seconds to reply, fascinated by how small and pretty her fingers were compared to his own. “I often find myself wondering what it would be like to have my own company,” he uttered. “All this time, I’ve only been learning how to fill my father’s shoes, how to do everything exactly in his way, down to the minor details. And it’s great even if it feels suffocating sometimes. I appreciate the lessons and the experiences he gave me, and I feel proud of myself when I can meet my parents’ expectations, but…” 

He held the plum blossom between his fingers, placing it in her hair, just behind her ear. He smiled, softer than cotton, while tucking away her loose strands. “I can’t help but feel like there’s something missing, you know? I don’t feel like I belong there, sitting in the chair my father provided to me. With me being the only heir of my family, I would have these companies under my name by the time Father is too old to manage them, but I think I’ll never be satisfied until I could something out of my own hands.”

She pulled herself away before she drowned further in his eyes. “So, uhh, why don’t you?”

He gave a mirthless laugh. “Father wouldn’t let me. He told me to be grateful and just do as I’m told. He doesn’t believe that I’m capable of making something as profitable as the ones under his belt. He said I’d be wasting my time—and his.”

“He said that?” She asked incredulously, almost cursing out loud. How can a parent have so little trust when their child is this bright and talented?! “You should just ignore him,” she muttered in suppressed vexation.

“What?”

“I don’t think you’ll waste anyone’s time, Yuu. I know how diligent you are, and although sometimes you can be a little bit of a pushover—“

“Hey.”

“—Deep down, you’re very ambitious. Once you have your eyes set on something, you won’t stop until you reach your goal. Maybe your father can’t see it, but I do. And even if your father was right, if it didn’t work out because you lacked the experience for it, why should that stop you from trying? Failure is what makes us better. We can learn from our mistakes. And you’re trying your best to make yourself happy. Your happiness is worth more than a million yen in your pocket, I always said. There’s no fault in that!”

He blinked, shocked at how worked up she was for his sake. “You’re always like this, aren’t you?” His gaze softened. “Getting angry on my behalf.”

“Because you never get angry,” she brooded. 

He simply chuckled. “Then, what would you do if you were me? Picture yourself living my life for a while. What kind of company would you build if you had my, uhh, resources?”

“Your resources. Hmm…” She couldn’t help but make fun of him a little, trapping her chin between her fingers as she pretended to think. “So, I’d have natural good looks, sad puppy eyes, and an endless amount of money, huh?” She turned him flustered. “I think I’ll just trade all my yens to gold, put them inside a safe for my future should anything go wrong, go seduce a wealthy mistress, and leech off of her so I’ll never have to work a day in my life ever again.”

He sighed, “I should’ve known not to expect a serious answer coming from you when you have that look on your face.”

She chortled, but not long after, her smile turned fainter. Her previous mischief was replaced with something profound. “A publishing company,” she said. “I would’ve built my own publishing company. It’s always been a dream of mine. But not just like any other publishers that are profit-oriented, I want to focus on the quality of the books.”

That piqued his curiosity. “What do you mean?”

She tarried for a moment. “Yuuta, do you know what my favorite book is?” It was a tricky one to answer, she knew, because every time he asked her that question, she’d always reply with, I don’t really have one. I love everything I read almost equally.

“Hmm…” He tapped his chin, musing. “Is it… The Makioka Sisters by Tanizaki-sensei?”

“Close,” she smiled. “But I’m impressed with your guess. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that to you.”

“You never did. I just figured that’s the one because when you showed me your copy the other day, the pages had many creases on them, which means you must be flipping through them a lot, either to re-read it or find your favorite scenes.”

She scrunched up her nose. He saw right through her. “All right, Mr. Detective. Well, that’s the second one on my list, actually. Revival is the first one.” 

Yuuta knitted his forehead. “Have you shown me that before?”

“I haven’t because it’s never been published as a book. It’s still a manuscript, handwritten by Saori-sensei herself.”

His frown only deepened. “Saori-sensei…?”

“She’s a small writer,” she explained. “She lived somewhere in Hokkaido, but she came to Tokyo to try her luck. I had the pleasure of meeting her in person a couple of years ago when she visited the library. Revival is her third piece, but just like her other two, it never made it to the public’s eyes. She had approached many publishers in the past, but with no connections and no name for herself, they turned her over without even sparing her a glance. 

“She came to my library one day, tired and frustrated, and she asked me if she could place her manuscript there on our shelf. I was confused, but I had time to spare, so I listened to her story. By the end of it, she said that the reason why she became a writer was never about money or fame. She just had stories to tell, stories that she longed to be read. She said she wanted people to feel connected to the emotions she portrayed in the book. To make someone happy with her writings. I’m not a writer myself, but I can imagine how an artist would love to have their work seen and appreciated. 

“So, I said yes. More than that, I told her that I’d love to give her book a try. And she broke down crying, crumbling to her feet. It was the first time I’d ever seen someone weep that loudly before, almost like a child. I asked her whether I said something wrong, and she shook her head, wiping her eyes dry. She told me that I was the first person to say that to her. That I was the one who ever showed any interest in her work. She had traveled far away from home with barely any money in her pocket, and she had met many different people, and yet, I was the first one to say that to her. Seeing her like that saddened me, but I didn’t shed tears for her. Not until I finished reading her manuscript. By the time I got to the end, it took all of me to stop myself from crying.

“It was the best thing I’ve ever read. The first book that spoke to me. The premise was hard to believe at first—it tells a story about a couple who were separated by death, traveling through times and spaces just to be with each other again. Maybe it’s even laughable to some, but the way she wrote it… It made me believe in it. The yearning, the struggle, the desperation of being so close to each other and yet so far… It pulled me in. I spent all night finishing it and did it again the next night, reading from the start. I sent her a letter a few days later, telling her how wonderful her writing was, and she replied with, Thank you for reading my story. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. And I thought… She deserves so much more than just a letter.”

She leaned back, resting her back against the railing. “I’ve read all kinds of books in the library to pass the time, not caring about its genre or topic, or whether it’s from a well-known author or someone from the outskirts of town who just made their first novel. I read everything I could get my hands on, but the books written by small authors never failed to intrigue me the most. Sometimes, they only have a few copies, still handwrittenlike the one Saori-sensei gave me. After reading hers, I started finding more of those in the library. They had always been sitting there, but I was just like everyone else, not paying attention to them. And that’s why, even though that place is old and cramped, I love working there. 

“Some of them were lucky enough to be printed, but they’re often published independently, and because of that, they’re not heavily edited. Every author has a distinct style, but when they hand their work over to the giant publishers, they’re forced to suit the public’s taste. It’s not a bad thing, obviously, but when you’ve read someone’s original work, someone brimming with talent, you’ll see the difference. I could feel their raw emotions when I read them. I could feel their authenticity in every word they chose.”   

His understanding dawned on him. “So, you want to give these underrated authors a chance.”

“Yes. I want them to get the recognition they deserve. Most publishers would choose to translate famous works or urge well-known authors to produce new books every year, and they never really give these small writers the opportunity to compete. I know it doesn’t offer much money if you look at it from a business perspective. I know nothing about making profits from books, but I can imagine that publishing works written by popular authors would offer much more fortune than distributing works from unknown writers. I just thought… Maybe there are people out there who wish to read these beautiful stories, but they never get the chance to. I want to help those people and these authors connect.”

Silence settled between them once she ran out of words, and she grew self-conscious. “Gods, I’ve spoken too much, haven’t I?” She tossed him an awkward laugh. “Sorry. Let’s focus back on what you want to do—”

“You said it was your dream, right?”

She blinked. She didn’t expect him to listen to her rambling so intently, let alone take her word seriously. “A silly, silly dream—” 

“It’s not silly,” he affirmed it with deep sincerity. “It’s not silly at all. I think it’s wonderful that you thought about it that way. And even if it isn’t profitable, if it makes you happy, it’s fine, isn’t it? Your happiness is worth more than a million yen in your pocket, I always said,” he couldn’t help but tease her at the last part, throwing her lines back at her; mischievous imps swam in his deep blue eyes.

“Well, you can say that since you’re rich,” she playfully rolled her eyes. Yuuta was no longer poking fun at her. If anything, he turned solemn. “Yuuta?”

He tapped his fingers against the railing, his gaze stretching far away as if it longed to become one with the sea. “What if I said I’d do it for you?”

Her heart churned. “What?”

“I’ll do it for you.” He turned around to face her fully, determination in his eyes. “Give me some time to think. I’ll do what I can to make your dream come true.”

“Yuuta,” she almost laughed out of the incredulity of his words, hoping it would pass as just another jest. Yuuta remained unsmiling, and after a second, her smile dropped, too. “W-wait, Yuu, I appreciate the thought, but you couldn’t just—” 

“I want to do it.” He held her gaze firmly. “Let me do it.” 

She exhaled heavily through her nose, not knowing what to say. “What… would your father say?”

“Didn’t you say I should ignore what he told me?”

Oh, Gods. “Well, yes, but—”

“But what?” He took her hand so abruptly that it almost stole a gasp from her lips, but his touch remained gentle. “Didn’t you hear me? I want to do this. Not just for you, but for me, too. I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I’m as passionate about books as you are, you know that. And…” He stroked the ridges on her knuckles, gazing at them as if he wanted to place another sweet kiss upon her skin. “If it’s within my power to make your dream come true, then I’ll do whatever it takes to realize it.”

He was already hell-bent on it, fire in his gaze, and she felt it penetrating her soul. Her heart rate started to soar. He’s insane. He should’ve thought it through. He said he was going to do this for his sake, too, but I couldn’t help but think that… he’d do this solely for me.

And if that’s not out of love, then what is it?

She tucked her chin, watching how his fingers still lingered around her own. “If you could do it,” she said so shyly she almost felt as if she wasn’t herself. “I’ll…. I’ll give you something in return. Anything you ask me, I’ll do it. As a thank you.”

Yuuta’s eyes widened slightly, flickering with hope. “A-anything?”

The way he said it made heat rush to her face. She nodded diffidently. “Anything.” He wouldn’t ask for something… indecent, would he? He’s not that kind of man. “If it’s something I could do for—”

“Marry me.”

She choked on her breath, coughing twice before she forced her eyes to return to his face. “What?!” She squeaked.

“Marry me,” Yuuta uttered, somehow looking even more resolved on his wish than he was a moment ago. “A year. I’ll build the company within a year, and once it’s done, you have to marry me.” His gaze had never been so intense that it robbed her of her breath. Noticing her swallowing hard at his words, he returned to his fidgety self. “I-I sounded so forceful before. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to coerce you or anything! I swear, I already decided to ask you even without you offering that to me, I just—you said I could—” He took a breath, begging himself to calm down. “All I’m saying is… If there was one thing in the world I wished of you… It’s for you to marry me.” He lowered his gaze as his face burst into flames, adding a timorous, “P-please.”

Despite how ridiculous and sudden the situation was, none of this was a laughing matter. Yuuta was sincere—as sincere as he could be—but still, never in her right mind had she ever thought a man would blurt out something as momentous as a marriage proposal in the middle of the night out of nowhere. The thought tickled her stomach. 

We were talking about business a minute ago, for God’s sake. “Yuuta,” she gave her best attempt at withholding her giggles. “We’re not even lovers yet.”

He blanched, all colors washed out at once. “We’re not?”

She nearly dropped her jaw. He thinks we are?! Since when?!

Oh, she thought, her mischievousness climbing up her throat fast. Oh, this is going to be fun. She put on a poker face, blinking her eyes cutely as she feigned surprise. “We are?”

“I mean—” He started gesticulating out of panic. “H-haven’t we done things that lovers do? Things like—like taking a late-night stroll like this, spending hours talking just the two of us? We—” He was drowning in worry and confusion with each second passing by. “We went to a concert together. We had dinner together, we…” He ran out of words, his face almost turning blue in horror. “Am I the only one who sees it this way…?”

She, the devil that she was, just continued with her torture. “Well, I do those things with my friends, too, you know.”

“Oh…” She could almost see the way his heart shattered in his eyes. “But…” He turned small. Maybe if she weren’t there, he would’ve curled up into a ball and lay down in the middle of the road until one of his butlers came to pick him up. “I already…. think of you as my lover…” 

Cute. Cute. Cute. He’s so cute. “Yuuta, you’ve never even asked me to be your lover before.” She inwardly cackled. “How would I know what you think of me if you never put it into words?”

To her surprise, his head shot back up. “Then, would you be my lover?!” He promptly asked, and only a second after that, he looked regretful, as if he was chastising himself for being so straightforward and not putting enough effort into wooing her heart first. “I love you, I—” He nearly wheezed. “I love you from the very first time I laid my eyes on you. I love you more than anything in the world, and I will love you until all my bones shatter to dust. I will sacrifice my life for you, I will—”

“I-I get it,” she cut him off quickly before he melted her face with his embarrassing words. Her plan to tease him backfires because now, her heart beat so clamorously in her ears that she could barely hear anything else. I just had my first love confession, she almost shouted in glee. And from a man more beautiful than the moon itself. Oh, Lord, thank you for all your blessings, I will never forsake You for the rest of my life.

“But I don’t know, Yuuta…” She faked a pout. This is the last time I’m teasing him, I swear. “I’m not utterly convinced yet. We’ve been friends for so long, what if it gets awkward between us once we start calling each other that way? What if we can’t do… things that lovers do?”

For a second, he was lost. Then— “We can,” Yuuta convinced her, even when his awkwardness clearly proved her point. He twined his fingers around her wrist, his hand trembling and laced with cold sweat. He was adorable. It’s funny how easily he’d held her hand romantically before when he didn’t realize it, but now, when asked to do it, he held her wrist like a mother forcing her child to return home. 

She looked at their joined hands with a flat stare. “What am I, your daughter?”

“S-sorry.” Quivers resurfaced in his fingertips as he slid his hand down to her own, hooking one finger around her pinky before he found the bravery to do more. With a smile, she helped him intertwine their fingers better, each gap filled with warmth the same way the ones in their hearts were. “You, umm…” He began anxiously. “You don’t do this with your friends, do you?”

“I do. Females often hold hands when they walk, don’t you know?”

A pout nearly manifested on his face while she tried to bite back her simper. “Then…” He wound his arms around her, pulling her into a deep embrace. As she had no choice but to plaster her head on his chest, she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. “What about this…?” he asked, his arms coiled tightly around her. She wished he had done more, suffocated her entirely, and if she died in his arms, just like this, she’d go with a satisfied smile. 

But on the outside, she said, “Maybe not. But I hug my sister this way all the time, too. It’s nothing special.”

He became more desperate on his next attempt, his fingers sneaking their way through her strands, holding her still as he planted a shy peck on the center of her forehead. She giggled, didn’t even bother to mask her childish devilry any longer. “My father does that.” He kissed her cheek next. “My mother does that.”

He gave up with a soft groan erupting out of his mouth. “I don’t know what else am I supposed to—” 

Fisting his collar in her hands, she yanked him down toward her, tiptoeing to meet him halfway. Their lips connected in a kiss, and with it, his words died before they could take form.

His eyes turned round, overflowing with surprise. She might have been planning this from the start of her little game, but Yuuta, the sweet, innocent young man that he was, remained clueless till the end. The kiss ended before his mind could comprehend the situation, his body staying rigid even after she loosened her grip from his shirt and returned the small distance between them.

She drew a breath, her blood pumping fast through her veins. 

I did it. I did it! I kissed him. Oh, Gods, I kissed him.

She wished her nervousness wouldn’t show too much, but she could hear it in her breath when she whispered,  “I don’t… do that one with anyone else.” Her hand felt heavier than a boulder when she withdrew it from his chest. “I’ve never done something like that before, actually. Only with you.”

“I…” He lagged a little, still half-paralyzed from her unexpected kiss. “I’ve never done that one either…”

It gave her a sense of triumph. We’re each other’s first, she exclaimed giddily inside. “Did you… like it?”

“I love it,” he reciprocated rapidly, his little nods shy yet eager. “It’s so much better than what I’ve imagined it would be.”

“You’ve fantasized about doing this with me?”

His brain turned to mush, melted by his shame. “M-many times, yes,” he admitted. “But never without your consent, don’t worry!”

Her refrained laughter came out as a snort. “Should we do it again, then?”

“C-can I?” 

She adored him so, so much. Every act of innocence he committed never failed to thaw her heart. “Only if you kiss me first,” she said, her smile tantalizing.

Yuuta noticeably gulped, anxious at the thought, but he wasn’t dumb enough to pass up on such an opportunity. His breathing tattered as he gathered the courage, his blush reaching the tip of his ears. He tried to lean closer, slowly, carefully, his eyes already shutting tight even when there was still quite a space between their faces. 

She almost laughed. I’m torturing him again, aren’t I? But she waited patiently, her lids closing in a piece of euphoria before he granted another with his lips. 

Their mouths caressed one another, lighter than a brush of a feather. A second passed, then two, and by then, she realized that eternity could set in between them, and it would’ve still felt too short once their kiss ended.

Yuuta pulled away, his gaze still fixated on her lips as if he was as spellbound by the kiss as much as she was. “Can I—”

“Yes.” She drew him back to her, molding their mouths together a little deeper, a little tighter, her hands finding their way to tangle around his neck. His lips tasted like a drop of nectar, and they were soft, softer than she imagined a boy’s lips would be. They were warm. Exciting. Addicting. 

He gasped against her mouth, matching her pace as best as he could. He was clumsy, his brain so occupied by the thoughts of her that he couldn’t stop these soft noises from escaping the back of his throat. She loved them. Every bit of whimper and moan he emitted, they flipped and twisted her stomach so exhilaratingly, awakening something inside her that craved to hear more of those sweet sounds. 

And yet, despite all of that, his hands still settled too stiffly on her waist, as if he was desisting himself from such pleasure. “You don’t have to be so gentle with me,” she breathed out when their mouths separated for a brief second. “I want you to kiss me the way you want to—mmph!”

Like a branch snapping under gravity’s pull, his passion took over without warning. He pulled her toward him so abruptly that she fell onto his chest, his suit slipping off her shoulders to land on the ground below. His palm, large and calloused despite how gentle he was, took prisoner of her face, angling her head to the side, holding her still, and slanting their lips better. Deeper. Harder. His other hand slithered dangerously low around her waist before it slid up her spine, crumpling the fabric of her kimono within his hold.

“W-Wait—mmph!” He was no longer listening, holding onto her tight, clutching like she was his lifeline. Butterflies came alive in her stomach when she felt his tongue stroking her own, tentatively at first to see her reaction, but once a moan escaped her, soft yet obscene to his ears, his desire possessed him once more.

Yuuta loved it when she parted her lips for him. His quiet whimpers turned into groans as he tasted her, her body pushed further against the railing and caged between his arms.

“Yuuta—” She was dying for a chance to breathe. 

He couldn’t grant it for her, not now, his lips devouring her still. “Open your mouth again,” he rasped out with haste, his voice so thick with lust that it was almost unrecognizable.

This was a different man kissing her; she loved him just the same.

Clawing against his shirt, she drowned further in this foreign, intoxicating sensation. Being with him like this felt like free-falling from the sky, so thrilling, so—

A bright light flickered toward them. They froze. 

We’re not alone.

They broke apart within a blink of an eye, barely a second before a police officer, who hopefully remained oblivious, patrolled down the road on his bicycle. She whirled around to clench her hands around the railing, pretending to gaze at the sea. Her ragged breathing would give her away instantly, and thus, she prayed for the darkness to be kind enough to act as her veil.

Yuuta, on the contrary, with his hair terribly disheveled, all due to the frantic work of her hands, was not a very good liar. His pale skin betrayed him, showing vividly how flustered he was, like a pure white canvas tainted madly by thick lines of red. The officer met his gaze as the poor boy busied himself with his hair, throwing his gaze to the ground.

“Good evening, Sir,” a male officer, possibly a few years older than Yuuta, greeted him with a polite bow, decelerating the speed of his bicycle.

Yuuta cleared his throat. “Good—” It still came out as a squeak, his voice pitchy enough that she almost flinched when she heard it. “Good evening, Officer.”

“Ma’am,” he greeted her next. “Is everything all right here?”

“Yes, Officer, umm—” She decided to think fast, clutching her hand around Yuuta’s arm. “This is my husband. We’re just taking a little stroll at the beach.”

“It’s already quite late for that, don’t you think?” He angled his head toward Yuuta. “Sir?”

It took an elbow to his side for him to reply awkwardly with, “Ah, yes! W-we’re on our way home.”

Yuuta’s words offered very little convincing, but it seemed that the way she wrapped her arms around his assured him that they were, indeed, lovers. “I see. Be careful on your way, then.”

She smiled, “Yes, Officer, thank you.”

He pedaled away, most likely too exhausted to chastise a pair of newlyweds at this hour. They both breathed in relief, their eyes finding each other once more before she broke into giggles.

“Sorry for suddenly calling you my husband,” she teased him. “Is your heart all right?”

“I almost fainted,” he confessed before he, too, found the energy to laugh at the situation. Once it passed, Yuuta stroked her hair, tucking the stray ones behind her ear. His smile left him as he gazed at her worriedly. “Are we… lovers now?”

She arched her brows, not expecting him to ask that question after what had happened between them. It must be because I’ve been teasing him so much. “If that’s what you want us to be,” she tittered.

“Do you want to?” His hand found hers again, much naturally this time, though his tone remained bashful. “To be mine?”

Do I want to be yours?

“Yes…” The rest of her answer comes out in a sleepy mumble as she returns to reality. Suddenly having Yuuta’s beautiful face replaced by the dull sight of her living room is quite perplexing that it leaves her incapable of doing anything but continue lying on the couch.

What just… happened…?

“Baby?” Satoru’s voice rings from the other side of the sofa. 

Nearly jumping out of her skin, she fixes herself on the seat. “H-hey!” Fuck. “How—how long have I been asleep?”

“Around two hours. You completely missed the movie, by the way.”

“I’m… I’m sorry.” She rubs her temple, trying not to focus on the way her face heats up quickly. “I guess I was tired.”

“I don’t think you were that tired,” he snickers, tossing her a naughty smirk. “You were making noises in your sleep. Did you dream about having sex with me?”

Her face catches fire. Just how good was that kiss for me to make noises in my sleep?! Mortified, she jumps to her feet. “I’m—I’m gonna go take a shower,” she sputters, a moment before she hares off.

“Bunny!” Satoru gasps from behind. “Don’t tell me I was right?!”

“Yes!” She exclaims before shutting the door behind her, knowing it’s easier to lie than to have him interrogate her for the truth.

Leaning her back against the door, she drowns her face in her hands. God, what is wrong with me? Why do I keep having these dreams? What do they mean—if they had any meaning at all? Why is it always him?!

Even hearing herself question such things sounds ridiculous in her head. Dreams are just dreams, they’re not real. She knows that. She’s been telling herself that, but… It’s getting harder and harder to pretend that way.

Nevertheless, this needs to stop. 

She shouldn’t let herself feel attached to them any more than she already has.

It’s a dream, I have no control over it, she thinks to herself as she returns to her feet. Staring into her reflection in the mirror, she promises that she’ll keep them separate, her reality and her dreams, the way they are meant to be.

“Yeah,” she swallows. “Yeah, I’ll do just that.”  ***

Last night, she made that promise.

Today, she betrays herself as soon as the morning sun flows past her window to bathe her skin in a golden shower, warming her bed and reminding her that—

Oh no, I have to see Yuuta today.

It’s the first time she has felt that way. Her fear of acting awkwardly in front of him over something as silly as a dream prevails over her usual excitement of meeting him, and ugh, she hates it.

As her brain is in the middle of registering that her boyfriend has woken up earlier than her for his morning run, her phone screen flashes, notifying her that a text has arrived. Her stomach churns the moment her eyes land on his name. With her heart beating faster than usual, she clicks it open, finding a wall of text written most formally with perfect punctuation and zero cases of childish emojis. 

Good morning. I hope you slept well. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you this early, but I want to remind you to bring an umbrella today, just in case. The weather forecast said there’s a 60% chance of rain today. I just thought you should know. 

- Yuuta Okkotsu

God, she almost laughs. Before she knows it, she’s already smiling at the thought of him again. Thank you for the gentle reminder, Secretary Okkotsu, she types her jest with her thumbs. Please remind me of my upcoming meeting at 10 a.m. I need to have a thorough discussion with a colleague of mine on how to exchange casual texts with a friend. The first step is called Dude, Why So Formal? Chill, It’s Just Me. She presses send.

Not a minute later, another text arrives.

I’m sorry, he says, followed by excessive crying emojis, but we’re still on for today’s plans, right?

Only if you behave like a normal human being, she bites back her smile.

Okay, I promise, he replies. Be safe on your way. Again, don’t forget your umbrella. 

Yes, Mom. Though she adds an eye-rolling emoji, nothing but a smile is written on her face.

Despite her expecting their chat to end there, her screen brightens with another one: See you later, Dude 😏

A chortle bursts out of her before she quickly types back, never mind, Yuu. It doesn’t suit you.

Eh? She can almost hear his tone in her ear. But I’m saying what you wanted me to say, he says, followed by a pleading face emoji.

Well, yeah, she snorts, but I can’t imagine you saying that. 

Then, what should I say, he whines, emphasized by a string of highly unnecessary crying faces.

As nonsensical and as unimportant as it is, their texting continues longer than anything they’ve exchanged before. Giggles fill the quietude of her bedroom with every chat sent and received. Yuuta, unbeknownst to him, has washed her anxiousness away—despite him beingthe one who caused it, also unknowingly. She wishes things could go on like this forever. Easy, fun, casual. And she can make it come true if she tries. She just needs to stay focused on her reality. That’s all she has to do.

Just stay focused. ***

It’s frightening how the kiss she shared with Yuuta in the dream bore more details than the one she had with Satoru. She could blame it on time—after all, Yuuta’s ’kiss’ had happened less than 24 hours ago, while her first time with Satoru had happened a little after they had started dating six years prior. Even so, she knew the truth: our minds do not remember days; we remember moments. And that’s why, even if six years passed by from now, she would still remember everything just as it was yesterday—the tension she felt in the room when Yuuta saw her walking out in the kimono he’d chosen for her, the way he introduced her to his colleagues with the brightest, proudest smile she’d ever seen worn on his face; his dream, their conversation, his confession and… His lips. How soft and warm and wonderful they were, how innocent their first kiss was, and how obscene the rest of them were. Everything became a moment beautiful enough to withstand the cruel passing of time.

Her mind drifts toward her dream again, which slowly morphs into a fantasy of her. I wonder what happened after that, she muses to herself, her eyes turning vacant as they linger on the same passage she’s been staring at for the past five minutes. 

What… happened after he took me home? Did he kiss me again? 

Did he…

Her gaze travels up, stretching past her novel to the man sitting before her. 

….spend the night..?

She gulps, trying to think past the harsh pounding of her heart. Yuuta is too immersed in the book he’s reading between his hands to notice her. It’s an unusual sight if she thinks about it, remembering how their eyes usually meet within seconds since he often glances back at her as well. She takes the chance, using this rare opportunity to marvel at him longer.

His hair is falling over his eyes. That’s… pretty.

Oh, he tucks it behind his ear. God, I love it when he does that. He did that often, too, in the dream, didn’t he? Is it one of his habits? She’s in a trance, her mind rambling on its own. I wonder what… else he does that’s similar to the version of him in my dream..? 

Her hazy gaze then drops to his lips.

Does he… kiss the same way?

Yuuta’s sapphire blue eyes suddenly flicker towards her, and she freezes, face aflame. She promptly drags her stare back to her book, flipping over a page—doing anything that keeps her busy. 

“Are you okay?” he questions, closing his book to give her undivided attention—to her horror. 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” she lies with a small laugh. It sounds so strained; she hates it. And she hates herself for the unstoppable train of thoughts that’s been passing through her mind today. “It’s, uhh, I was just wondering if we could get something to eat after this.”

“Yes, of course, I’d love to.”

“What do you want to have?”

“Anything you want,” he answers with a smile, just like always. 

“Okay.”

When silence sets in, their tension rises, and so does his curiosity. “Is… that why you were staring at me so much? Trying to figure out what I wanted to eat?”

Fuck. She casts away her gaze. “I wasn’t staring.” But she grows self-conscious under his stare, and he notices it. 

He approaches her a little differently, being gentler with her, more than he has been. “I can tell there’s something going on in your mind.” He places his book down on the table, not planning to pick it up anytime soon, telling her indirectly that he’s here for her, and her only. “I’m here if you want to talk. You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

Not this one, no, she answers internally, but there’s a piece of her that wishes to take on his offer, the same piece that’s been dying to tell someone about this. Maybe if I’m careful about it, I can… “Have you, umm… Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that you could remember every detail even when you’re awake?”

The word yes seems to fleet across his face, though it may have been something she imagined as his lips only shape the words, “What kind of dreams? Nightmares?” 

“No, nothing scary like that, it’s…” She struggles to find the words. “I don’t know, like a weird dream where you just do something normal, but it feels so real. Like, instead of dreaming, it’s more as if you were… walking through a memory.”

His body stills, but within a blink of an eye, he returns to his usual composure. “Your memory?”

Yes, her heart answers to her own surprise. “No,” she says, echoing what her mind tells her. “Someone else’s memory. It felt like I was trapped inside a body—a body that looked just like mine. I heard myself talking about things that I wasn’t aware of, but I felt all her emotions enough to feel like it was me—a different version of me. What makes me feel weird is that the whole time it happened, I was conscious that I was inside a dream. Usually, when you’re in a dream, you can’t tell that it’s a dream because everything looks real, right? My case is the opposite. Whenever I’m in my dream, I’m aware that it’s not real. But when I wake up, I feel like… the dream isn’t just a dream. I didn’t recognize where I was most of the time, but I had some dreams where I was spending my time in the library—this library. The place I was in looked so much like this,” she gestures to her surroundings. “Even down to the little details. I want to say that maybe my mind was just projecting it, but… I don’t know, it just feels weird.”

Yuuta appears to be in deep rumination, but if anything crosses his mind, he doesn’t let it show on his face. “Were you alone in those dreams?”

“Huh?”

“Were you alone, or were you with… someone else? Someone you knew?”

She stops. Returning her eyes to him, she reads what lies between the lines of his features. He seems… hopeful, as if he was expecting, or rather, praying, for her answer to come in the shape of his name. She curls her fingers, wishing she could sound even a little convincing when she says, “There were... people, yes. But I didn’t recognize any of them. They were just… faces.” 

His eyes widen, but instead of hope, she witnesses pain. “I see…” He averts his gaze, his expression no longer readable. 

“Yuuta..?”

“Well, dreams can be strange sometimes,” he attempts to comfort her, the cheerfulness in his tone sounding a bit over the top. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. I once dreamt about my cat turning into a lion and feeding me some grapes.” He forces out a chuckle. “But dreams are just dreams, right? They’re not real.”

She frowns, confused. There’s something concerningly off about him, she just can’t tell what it is. “You’ve never had that kind of dream before?”

“No,” he smiles. “I don’t think I have.”

The curve of his lips never reaches his eyes. ***

[soulsvn]

Pour it Up

Pairings: Stripclub Owner Sukuna x Stripper F!reader

Summary:- You are a single mother, your baby daddy is not just worthless, he also is actively trying to sabotage you, so you go out on your own and raise your kid by yourself. Struggling your ass off, a friend of a friend named Toji decides to offer you a hell of a deal, a few hours a night at a strip club to make BANK. While there, you meet the other owner, Sukuna, and the moment he sees you? You annoy him how beautiful you are, how much he wants you, pushing him to insanity. He knows he must have you- no matter whose ass he needs to beat.

Warnings:- reader is a mom, lowkey/highkey Yandere Sukuna behavior (He's obsessed- down bad) recreational drug use, drug dealing Sukuna (the club lowkey a front lol) Mafia ties, EXPLICIT sexual content, fluff/smut AND light angst- violence, some former trauma of reader. This part- SO MUCH FLUFF lol- a lot of humor, next chap we'll be back to some drama so enjoyyy, Stepdad Kuna, whipped ass Kuna, some smut ofc hehe, oral (f revieving) lil bit of dirty talk, emotional sex- angst smut AND fluff - WC-6.6k

Will be eight or more parts- ties into my Mob Gojo story-takes place after part one of that (can be read alone ofc) I HIGHLY recommend the playlist (esp on the club scenes) That mobster art in the banner is by Sketch B on X- LINKReblogs/comments so appreciated if you enjoyy!

<<<Part Four Playlist Masterlist Part six>>> (coming soon)

Part Five

A nice and steamy, pounding hot shower was just what you needed, alone in Sukuna’s own personal bathroom, as he spends time with Touma. You’re exhaling as you sit on the marble bench, letting the water hit you in waves, sighing at just how good it feels, the little drops pounding against your skin, easing the sore achiness of your muscles.

A shower alone as a mother was unheard of, maybe a quick five minutes, but usually Touma and work had you so exhausted you got in for just that, too much to do, too tired to do more than scrub your skin, wash your hair. As fast as you could, but this was pure fucking bliss.

The first day moving most of your things - which wasn’t much- to Sukuna’s penthouse, had been a bit surprising. He’d had movers ready, they all basically did everything for you, and when you’d come, Sukuna had thankfully put up all the freaky shit in his room, and locked up all guns and drugs out of sight. The first meeting of Touma and Sukuna makes you giggle even in the shower.

Touma had been curious when Sukuna had leaned down and kissed you, hugging at your leg and looking at him. Sukuna looked right back. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Touma.” He answers, so seriously. “Are you… you in love with my mom.” Sukuna had paused, mouth wide open, brows low in a shocked glare that had made you burst out laughing.

“Touma baby, Mr. Sukuna is helping us live in this really nice place for a bit, but he’s-”

“So what if I am, kid? Got a problem?” Sukuna got down on his haunches, and Touma had stepped in front of you protectively, melting you as you watched Touma walk right up to Sukuna.

Mob boss, intimidating ass Ryomen Sukuna, and your kid crosses his little arms, tilting his own head. “She’s my Mama, I protect her.”

You gulp down your own emotions now, and Sukuna just glares at him. “And you think I won’t protect her?”

“It’s my job, I’m Touma. I protect Mama.” You’re damn near in tears, turning away for a moment, you hate that Touma feels this way, you’re instantly wracked with questions.

All the fights he saw?

Was it-

“That’s because I love mommy. Do you love mommy?”

“Maybe I do. Will you come kick my ass?” Touma giggles as you turn around and glare.

“Sukuna!”

“No, only if you hurt mommy.” Sukuna sighs then, big huge hand on Touma’s little shoulder.

“I’ll never hurt your mom. Okay? I want to… protect her. Better than you even.” You feel like you’re in some dream in that moment, as Touma stomps that little foot, shaking his head.

“Not better!”

“Way better. I’m bigger, hah!” Touma shoves at Sukuna then, and Sukuna yanks him up high, throwing him over his shoulder, as Touma’s legs wiggle. “See?”

“Put me down, Mama tell him!”

“Put him down, shit.” You can’t stop your laugh though, as Sukuna eases him down until he’s standing again, and he’s holding his shoulders very seriously.

“Will you help me protect your mama?” He asks softly, a tone you have rarely heard, and Touma sighs, nodding then.

“But I can do it alone, you know.”

“I’m sure you can, kid.” Sukuna smiles up at you then, seeing the glimmering tears in your eyes. “You know she’s kinda a crybaby.”

“Excuse me!?”

“Are you one too?”

“No, not a crybaby!” Touma determines, Sukuna grins then, spreading across his handsome face.

“Good, good… wanna see some cool shit?”

“Cool sh-”

“Bad word, Touma!” You cover his mouth, glaring at Sukuna then. “Watch that mouth, hmm?”

“She’s very bossy.” Sukuna says, Touma giggles, and then he tilts his head. “Come on, I got all kinds of… kid shit.”

“Mouth!”

“Kid things, fuck.”

“Don’t cuss like Mr. Sukuna, it’s bad.” You whisper, but Touma looks at you all bright eyed.

“He loves Mama.” You look up to see Sukuna’s blush, bringing upon your own as you clear your throat.

“You think so?” Touma nods, then Sukuna leads you both over, to open a door that’s somehow become a kid’s fucking paradise. Touma squeals, literally squeals, just running in, and you follow, blinking just a bit in shock. Touma starts bouncing on a little toddler bed, and Sukuna shakes his head.

“Ah-ah. No jumping. Didn’t mommy tell you about those stupid monkeys?”

“Monkeys… what?”

“They broke their bones.”

“Kuna!” He just grins as Touma gasps, stopping jumping immediately, but you sigh, taking in every bit of the room, dinosaurs all over, a gaming system, somehow he’s got everything a kid needs in one day. “How’d you do it all?” You murmur, while Touma starts poking around on a remote.

“I paid a shit ton of money for someone to set up shit for a little boy.” He shrugs a broad shoulder, eyeing you then. “Don’t cry, brat.”

“I… you…” You’re in tears, fully, and Sukuna sighs, holding you then, a big hand on your head as he tries to hush you. “You d-did all this? For me? For us?”

“It’s not shit, I just spent money. I literally snapped my fingers and a bunch of workers did the shit. Stop… you’re such a crybaby.”

You’re sobbing now, quietly against his shoulder, as he brushes a hand down your back, his heart filling more and more with every fucking moment he’s near you, when he sees your exhausted, tear streak face he falters, mouth opening and closing. But you beat him to it, cupping his face and leaning up.

“I really love you, Sukuna. You’re… you’re something so… you’re so different, from anything.” He exhales nervously, looking away and gulping.

“You’re being all sappy, stop it. Just wanted him to be comfortable.”

“Thank you so much. He loves it already.” You’re giggling while you’re crying, Sukuna smiles just a bit.

“You’re a wreck, brat.”

“I know.” He exhales, letting you cuddle to him, when Touma comes up and hugs his thigh, making Sukuna freeze, and you grin.

“Thank you Mr. Kuna!”

“God, even your kid uses the name? It’s Sukuna.”

“Kuna!”

“Jesus.”

You’re still grinning so hard it hurts, fuck when was the last time you were this damn happy, even with the looming threat of Naoya and so much more happening. As you turn off the silver knob of the shower, you’re curious how it’s going, Sukuna and a kid kind of made no sense, but seeing him trying more in one day than Naoya did in years was touching, it was fucking beautiful.

You don’t just - kind of love him- or - think you’re in love. No, you’re madly head over heels for this gruff crime lord, who’s giving you so much, and you don’t know what he gets in return. You want to help him, and be good for him, show him just how appreciative you are. Which, you heat up as you stare in the mirror, thinking of ways to show him tonight.

As you slip on your pajamas, you hear ‘ bang bang’ and rush out, it’s Touma saying it, over and over. You hear Sukuna’s booming laugh, rushing out with still damp hair as you eye the scene in front of you, mouth dropped open, Touma’s hand has a toy gun, his damn teddy bears have their little squishy arms tied, and there is fake money strewn all over.

“Haha, yeah kid, you just point and say it, c’mon you got it.” Sukuna’s grinning as he sits on the carpet, with his own toy gun, showing him. “Say - yo- you got my money!?”

“Yo gots my money!” Touma giggles now. “Bang!”

Sukuna slaps Touma in the back so hard the kid almost falls, affectionately you think!? “Yes, that’s it, then you-”

“What are you two doing, hmm!?” You cross your arms, and they both look at you, Touma’s eyes bright and glittering, Sukuna just smirking.

“What, we’re playing and bonding and that kinda shit. Touma, show mommy.”

“Look!” Touma shoots off the nerf gun now, and you gasp as he knocks the teddy bears right over, Sukuna smacks Touma in the back, bursting with laughter.

“This kid, I like him, look at that aim, huh? Now you take the-”

“Are you two serious!?” You demand, scowling at Sukuna, but Touma giggles and runs to you now, jumping up and down.

“Mommy, so much fun! Kuna is so fun I wuv him!” Sukuna clears his throat, bashful suddenly as he stands, rubbing the back of his neck.

You ignore the barbies that the teddy bears have thrown fake cash at apparently for just a moment, ignore the tied up bears and the nerf guns, and look down at Touma, who you haven’t seen this happy in so long. Then back at a Sukuna who is looking away, worried he’s fucked it all up.

You exhale then, realizing it.

You’re hopelessly in love, and even your kid loves this crazy ass man, on sight. “Although this isn’t the best game to play…”

They both look at you, eyes hopeful.

“I’m glad you’re having fun, hmm?” You murmur to Touma, brushing back his soft hair, you hear Sukuna’s exhale as Touma runs back to the game. Sukuna eyes you, walking close and leaning down, hands in his pockets. “You-”

“I know, I know I’m shit with kids. I just wanted you to have a break for a minute, and I don’t know what brat ass little... things even do. I figured-”

“Shh.” You grab his face then, kissing his lips gently, and he pulls you close, right against his chest, your skin dewy from the shower, eyes once again swirling with emotions, as he gulps a bit, just how pretty you are.

“You’re pissed hmm?”

“No, not pissed. This isn’t good behavior but… look at him.” Touma’s popping nerf guns at the bears with a little too much precision. “He’s so happy. Thank you for all of this, really, even if this is… inappropriate and a horrible influence, but...”

Sukuna blinks sooty pink lashes. “You're thanking me?”

“Yeah, you’re trying. And he… wuvs you.” You watch him look away again, as Touma begins to yawn.

“Tch. Wiped out already, kid?” Sukuna demands, but Touma just nods, and you swoop in, getting him to lay down, Sukuna lingers by the outside of the door, giving you both a moment.

“Will you be okay sleeping in here tonight?” You ask softly, Touma’s eyes are already fluttering shut as you cover him up.

“I like it here mommy, he’s so fun!” You grin down at him.

“He is fun.”

Touma touches your cheek with his little hand, melting you. “You love him, huh Mama?”

You look behind you, seeing his shadow along the doorway, sighing and then looking back at Touma, smiling. “Keep it a secret, but yes.” 

Sukuna’s heart hammers in his chest as he hears you both, and you hum so sweetly to him, his feelings so overwhelming he can’t control himself. The minute you shut the door, you’re in his arms, lifted, his hands gripping your thighs, pressing you against the wall.

You gasp then, before you relax, and he smells how sweet you are from that body wash he bought you, you probably would flip if you knew the price tag, but Sukuna would get you anything. You don’t know what he’d do for you, who he’d kill for you, just to keep you and that kid- who's actually pretty okay, for a kid - safe, and happy, so quickly you’ve consumed him.

You’re clinging to his shoulders, as you bite your plump lower lip, trying not to make any noise, and Sukuna exhales, leaning even closer, lips a breath from yours. “Know how crazy you make me, brat? Got me having a whole kid here, got me thinking of putting another in you.”

You flush now, arching your hips, as he hides his groan in your neck, exhaling, your hands enwrapped in pastel locks. “Think I don’t picture it too? Think you don’t make me insane?”

“I need you, brat. Now.” He whispers, you nod eagerly and he’s carrying you, like you’re nothing, kissing messy and brutal down the hallway, until you’re in his room, and he’s kissing down your neck, biting your delicate skin brutally.

“Kuna!” You’re whimpering as he does, grinding your heated cunt against him in your silky shorts, feeling his cock hard and throbbing.

“Need you now.” You nod eagerly once more, as you look up into dilated ruby eyes, almost black.

“Then take me.”

“God, what you do, woman…” You’re on his bed before you can blink, dizzy with how the man just throws you around, how he’s slipping off your shorts, you’re throwing a hand over your mouth as he spreads your thighs, kissing down your breasts, to the peaks of them, making your back arch. “Ah-ah.”

Sukuna yanks your hand off your mouth, and you suck in a breath when he’s kissing your other breasts, tongue lapping around and areola. “I can’t have him hear anything!”

Sukuna grins then. “I told you, it’s pretty much soundproof.”

Your eyes narrow. “Do I wanna know why?” He chuckles, continuing to kiss, lick and bite between your breasts and around your rib cage, shoving your little pajama top up further as he does.

“If you must know brat, I used to have Toji living here, and I decided I didn’t want him jerking off while I’m fucking.” You shake your head with a breathless giggle.

“You two!? Lived together!?”

“He lived here while he was a broke bitch, now I really don’t wanna talk about Toji right now.” He bites your nipple hard, and you whine out, head falling back against the soft pillows.

“You’re so f-freaky…”

“Mmm, I take it easy on you, you know that? Think I’ve ever been like this with a woman?” You exhale now, hands running through the pastel locks of his hair, arching your hips up more as he kisses down a shimmery white stretch mark. “God look how fucking sexy you are.”

“Kuna… please…” He smirks now, kissing even lower, until he’s hovering over your pussy, breath hot as he spreads your lips, spitting right on your clit and groaning as he watches it trail down.

“Please what, brat? I can’t take my time?” He demands, raising a brow, your pussy is drooling as he flicks his tongue on your clit, making you moan out loud, his cock is so hard he’s thrusting it against the bed for friction.

“Need you, please, stop teasing.” He flicks his tongue again, chuckling against you as your thighs are trembling on either side of his head.

“Oh do you? Need what, hmm?”

“More.” You yank on his hair, and he’s grinning against your pussy, tongue swirling around your clit but just not hitting it, watching you huff in frustration. “Kuna, please!”

“You’re beggin’ huh? So pathetic?”

“You know what-” You yank his face against you now, and he moans as you do, the action turning him on so much he can’t think, as you greedily grind against his face, and he’s leaking precum, dying to be inside your tight entrance, lapping all your juices up so hungry. “Y-yes!”

“Greedy little slutty brat f’me?” You nod as he murmurs against your skin, as his huge tattooed hands are pressing your thighs further apart, and he’s drinking you up, moaning as he works you. “Gonna fuck my face- god yes.”

“S-sorry… need more…” You’re lost now, as you rock up and down, as his tongue and nose and teeth all work you over and over so good, until you feel the pressure building, breasts heaving with your quicker breaths. “So good, f-fuck, Kuna it’s so…”

“Cum all over my face, c’mon baby.” He urges, lapping your juices from your hole up to your clit while you’re gasping for breaths, pleasure wrecking your brain, washing all over you in waves. “C’mon lemme drink it up.”

“Mnh!” You’re cumming so hard as he drinks you up, as his fingers bruise your thighs, and his mouth devours your pussy, the sounds of him echoing off the walls and making you scream out more and more. As you’re pulsing around his tongue, the wet muscle presses up, tastebuds just a little rough on gummy walls, forcing you into another orgasm.

“Mmm…” He’s moaning at your sweet taste, licking at his lips now, biting your inner thigh, the pain making you cry out again, hands now gripping his shoulders, broad and strong, yanking at the shirt he’s wearing. “Need me so bad?”

“God, you already know I do, you’re so-” He cuts off your compliments with a hungry kiss, as you’re running your fingers down his muscles, trying to take a breath, thighs shaking while his cock is rubbing between them.

“Taste yourself.” You’re lapping your juices off his lips with your little pink tongue, as he’s grinding against you, still in pants, making you huff in frustration, yanking on them as he laughs.

“You’re so mean, jus’ lemme…”

“Gotta have me right now, can’t wait, you’re so impatient.”

“No, c-can’t.” You’re freeing his cock, stroking the huge, thick length up and down, thumb pressing against his piercing, eyes darting up to his face as he drinks you in. “Beautiful.”

“Me!? Shut that shit up.”

“You are.”

“Calling me some bitch shit. You’re beautiful.” You smile and shake your head, thumb brushing across a flat brown nipple. “So beautiful I never want anyone to even fucking see you again.” His voice is husky, one of his hands guiding his cock to rub up and down between your folds, pressing against your clit, making you drool down his length.

“Never, how will I strip then?” You tease softly, he scowls, rubbing the piercing against you over and over, watching your pretty eyes flutter shut.

“Think I’ll let you?”

“Think you can stop me?”

Sukuna smirks, shaking his head as he shoves his cock deep inside you, and you’re screaming out, thankful his walls are soundproof for whatever weird reason it was, as the stretch burns so good inside your cunt. You’re struggling to take him as he watches every expression on your perfect features, your lips parted, your nails pressing into his skin.

“I can stop you alright.” He whispers, pulling back and thrusting deeper, stuffing you even more full, tears in your eyes as he works you. “Gonna argue ever when I give it to you so fuckin’ good?”

You shake your head, whispering out - “N-not fair…”

“Takin’ my cock like you’re made for it.” Sukuna’s words along with him yanking a thigh up, putting the arch of your foot on his shoulder and kissing your ankle makes your walls pulse around him. “Struggling to take it, too fuckin’ tiny?”

“I c-can do it.” He smirks down at you, broad smile on his handsome face, before he slams inside you so hard your toes curl, hitting your cervix as you damn near pull back, his hands dragging you by your hips.

“Don’t run, now- f-fuck…” Sukuna moans as he leans over, sinking impossibly deeper, cock stroking in and out of you, his teeth grazing your neck as he buries his face against your neck, exhaling and biting harder, spurned on by your whines, making him lose it.

“Mnh! So b-big…” You’re whispering, hissing again as he bites your neck harder, sliding hotly tongue up the side of it, shalmming his cock so far in you’re cumming again, piercing dragging right on that fucking spot.

“You’re so tight f-fuck, so wet for me, just me huh?”

You nod, panting, eyes squeezed shut as his cock stretches you open, as he’s fucking you harder now, deep and fast, his pelvis slapping into yours, making a sloppy, obscene fucking sound the wetter and wetter you get. You can feel your cunt gushing around him, feel it dripping down between your thighs, down your ass and his balls that are heavy and smacking you.

He pulls up, ruby eyes locked on yours, as you whisper - “L-love you.”

Sukuna pauses, exhaling, hot breath against already overheated lips when he cups your face with a big hand, slowing his thrusts for a moment, making every inch take so excruciatingly long, letting you feel every fucking part of him. Your heart races, you can’t stop yourself.

“I do. I do. I d-do… I know it’s-”

“Shut it, brat.” He slams his lips back down on yours, shutting up your every confession, rolling his hips so his piercing is pressing on that spongy spot, drinking in your every cry, while your pussy is tightening around his cock.

“Kuna…” You’re hiccuping at how good he feels, while he’s leaning heavy weight on you, brushing your hair back. “S-sorry…”

“Shh.” Hiis thrusts are becoming more erratic, more intense, watching your eyes roll back, mouth open. “Think I don’t love you?”

Your eyes try to focus, but he’s fucking you so good it’s impossible, you just sputter as he works over you, one hand now resting under your chin, long fingers wrapping your delicate neck. He rests his other elbow near your head, that hand entangling in your hair, pulling at it, watching as he fucks you stupid.

“Answer me, now.” He orders, you’re clinging to the sheets, and he glares now, slowing his strokes. “Get those nails back on my back.”

“Yes, y-yes sir…” You do just that, watching him moan, his head falling back, you eagerly kiss down his neck, lapping at the bobbing adam's apple as he’s in bliss, your walls contracting around him, pouring out more and more soaking arousal.

“Answer me.” He orders again, while your nails are digging against his muscled back, looking back at you, eyes black damn near, slamming his cock in so hard you have to bite back a full scream, only earning his groan, squeezing your throat just a bit harder. “Now.”

“I d-don’t know if y-you feel sorry for-”

“Nah, fuck that, I just fucking want you. I need you.” He watches your eyes go glassy, your lips tremble, as your thighs squeeze his hips, and he works your cunt so goddamn good, thumb pressing your racing pulse. “Did I fuck you too stupid, think I don’t love you already?”

“Kuna…” You’re sobbing when you kiss him, and he loses himself even more in you, inside you, surrounding you, while your back arches, lips and tongues fighting for dominance, as he flips you, now letting you on top of him.

“Gonna make me keep saying it, like some dumb fucking simp?” He demands with a glare, and you nod with a little giggle so breathless and weak, while he slips you down his cock. “Then you better ride me.”

It’s been a while, and you aren’t sure you’re good at it, faltering, as your hands rest on his strong chest, against just a part of the endless black tattoos, your hair falling to the side as you roll your hips. “Will you tell me if I’m okay?”

He scowls, lifting your hips and dragging you back down his cock, watching your breasts bounce as he brings you down on him, veins pulsing inside your cunt. “Okay is never a fucking word for you. Y’know how good your pussy is, show me, huh baby?” He whispers, encouraging you, and you nod then, biting your lip, watching as his cheeks tint pink even in the dim lighting of his room, as he bites his lip with white teeth.

“Like this?” You ask nervously, trying to shove back all the past of hearing how terrible you were at things, because Sukuna looks at you like you’re a fucking goddess right now, nodding and gulping.

“Fuck yeah, just like that, ride me till you cum.” He says, all husky, and you eagerly start to bounce now, thighs slapping against his as you ride him harder, faster, then start leaning up, thighs working themselves. Sukuna’s groaning out loud, hands now on your ass cheeks, pumping up inside you. “There it is, there you go-”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Shit.

You instantly freeze, looking at the door, and hearing it again-

Knock knock knock.

“I need to-”

“Fuck no.” Sukuna drags you back on him as you go to get up, but you glare now, shaking your head. “Really now.”

“Mama? Mr. Kuna?” You hear, and Sukuna holds back his groan as he covers his face, cock twitching when you’re sliding off it, cursing yourself with how sore you already are.

“Let him go back to bed.” Sukuna grumbles, staring at his cock that’s glistening with you, as you slip on pajamas and giggle.

“Mostly soundproof?” You tease.

“He didn’t hear shit, promise, unless he’s right against the door the entire time.” He murmurs, cupping your face.

“I’ll be back in a bit, Mr. Kuna.” Sukuna scowls as you rush out, and throw a blanket over him.

Kids are cockblocks.

“What is it, Touma?” You murmur, as you walk out, and see him sleepily rubbing one eye, but when you bend down you see his distraught face. “Bad dream baby?”

“Bad dream. Mama got hurt in it.” He’s sniffling then, and you pick him up quickly, holding him tight.

“No, Touma I’m fine!”

“Mama was gone.” His words make your heart hammer, you shake your head quickly as you walk back to his new room, feet padding gently on the polished floors until you hit his soft carpet.

“Mama will never leave you.” You murmur, laying him back down, and Touma lifts the bright blue blanket, patting it with his little hand.

“Cuddles?” You smile amidst terror gnawing at you, trying to shove it all down for him, getting right in the toddler bed, laying on an arm as you watch him.

“You worry so much, I promise I’ll be okay. You seemed so happy today, with Mr. Kuna hmm?” You brush his hair back and he grins now.

“I like him so much! He’s so fun!”

You grin right back, heart fluttering as you think of it- Sukuna loves you.

Loves you.

“He is fun. I think he likes you alot too, Touma.”

“Will we be here a long time?” You blink a bit then, sighing and snuggling further against Touma, as he rubs your cheek, so caring already so young, he touches your heart more every moment, the love for your son so deep it feels impossible that you had room for Sukuna too.

It’s like your heart grew to expand enough for the both of them, though of course the love is so different, you now know you’ve never felt it for another man, even when you thought you loved him. Naoya. How, you can’t really fathom, the gaslighting, manipulation!?

Were you such a fool?

But then you wouldn’t have him, your baby boy.

“Mama?”

“Sorry, baby.” You try to snap back to the moment, as Touma’s little pout is so serious for his cute little face. “We will be here for a while I think.”

“I like that, Mr. Kuna can show me more games!” You yawn, as you pull him against you.

“Maybe nicer games?” Touma yawns now too, and you snuggle closer, feeling sleep tug at you. “Maybe I’ll just sleep for a minute…”

Twenty minutes.

Does it take twenty minutes to get a kid to sleep!? Sukuna doesn’t know, but he knows the kid is now responsible for the girl he loves leaving him wanting, and that’s irritating. He wants you all to himself, and sharing you is irritating, even if he does really like the kid, he needs you back.

Sukuna decides to finally go check once his cock went down, which took far too fucking long, and he pauses at the doorway when he sees it then, his heart doing this irritating flutter feeling. It’s even worse than the love he feels already, when he sees you snoring lightly right next to your little boy, who is snuggled against you tightly, his little arms around your neck.

“Well, shit.” He mumbles, leaning on the doorway for a moment, crossing his arms as he stares at the two of you, you sleeping on one arm, no blanket, it appears you’d put it all on Touma.

Sukuna sighs now, walking in the little room, taking a pillow and slipping it under your head, you hum just a bit, still curled up in the tiny little bed. He chuckles softly, taking some of the blanket and tucking you up in it, looking at the little smile on your pretty face, stroking your cheek for just a moment.

You’re so cute he’ll forgive you for leaving him hanging, he supposes, looking at Touma who snuggles right back to you, and you instinctively wrap your arm around him in your sleep. The sight of the two of you, especially you cuddling what is just about a copy of you, is too much for him, he’s feeling too sappy, and irritated, deciding to scowl just a bit for good measure.

He wants you in his bed, dammit… he wants you to cuddle him, but he has to admit as he walks out, you’re fucking adorable.

*****

Sukuna wakes up to heavenly scents wafting through his penthouse, tummy grumbling as you work your magic in his kitchen, the sight of you humming in little sleep shorts half rolled up is far more appetizing than event he scents, as he eyes Touma sipping orange juice from a little cup with a top, grinning at him.

“Mr. Kuna!” Touma runs to him, and you turn back to see him hugging Sukuna’s leg, Sukuna just stands there, grimacing as you giggle, earning his glare your direction, a thousand things unspoken in that expression of his.

“Yeah, morning kid.” Sukuna pats Touma’s head, pushing at him a bit awkwardly, eyeing you looking all fresh faced with a messy bun, spatula in your hand. “And good morning, brat.”

“Morning Kuna.”

“Tch.” He steps to you now, swiping at a little flour on your nose, inhaling how sweet you smell, pressing a kiss on your lips. “You’re in trouble, y’know?”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You whisper, as you now eye Touma. “Hey, can he watch some tv?”

“Shit, yeah. What do you watch, kid?” He asks, as you hand Touma a plate, and Sukuna flips on the tv in the living room, letting Touma sit on the floor in front of it with his waffles, eggs and bacon.

“Bluey!”

“The fuck’s a Bluey?” You’re holding back laughter as you finish making breakfast for you and Sukuna, listening to the ensuing humor that is your boyfriend and your son conversing.

“It’s a dog, and she’s so cool, Mr. Kuna do you wanna watch!” Sukuna grimaces, shaking his head and turning on Netflix, handing Touma the remote.

“God no. Here, you know how to put it on?”

“Mhm!”

“Good.” He pats Touma’s head again, and comes back to you, as you’re making him a plate, complete with a whipped cream smile and strawberry eyes. Sukuna’s face makes you burst into laughter.

“It’s cute, huh?”

“You’re so asking for it.” He grumbles, snatching up the syrup and slathering it all over the fluffy waffles, destroying your smiley face.

“Meanie!”

“Tch. Where’d you get all this food anyway? I order out all the time.”

“I ordered groceries, is that okay?”

Sukuna’s jaw sets. “With your money, no.”

“Kuna!”

“No, I’ll have to give you a card or some shit.” You shake your head at him, making your own plate and sitting next to him, biting back a sigh when his big warm hand touches your thigh, and he leans close.

“Sorry I passed out.” You murmur, awakening far too much he’s trying to hold back, his eyes narrow at you.

“I’ll make you make up for it tonight.” You shift just a bit in your seat at the mere thought, earning his smirk, as his hand squeezes the plush of your thigh. “With that mouth, hmm?”

“Oh, I don’t mind that.” You whisper, against his ear, sending shivers of desire down his spine, before you kiss his cheek. “This is the best day I’ve had.”

“It’s just started, though?”

“Still. It is. It feels… right?” He brushes his hand up and down your thigh, moaning as he bites into the waffle now, feeling it so flaky and fluffy in his mouth, so sweet.

“Tastes so goddamn good, shit.”

“As good as me?” You tease, mouthing quietly, he bites back a moan, dragging you even closer, one of your legs over his.

“Nothing’s that good, shit. But close?” You nibble on one too, smiling happily, to be this close to him just doing something so simple is bliss. “Gonna have to keep you around, cooking like this.”

“Yeah?” You grin so big, lighting up your face, making him falter, then making him scowl. “What!?”

“Making me sappy, so fucking annoying.”

“Poor Kuna.” You kiss him again, he tries to keep the scowl, but it fails. After a little bit he’s fully in  a four piece suit, however, overcoat and all, along with black leather gloves, making you frown a bit while you’re washing dishes.

“I have a dishwasher, brat.”

“I am just used to hand washing.” You dry your pretty little hands on a towel, he frowns as he looks at them, a little calloused from the pole already, he doesn’t like that, he really doesn’t want you doing a damn thing as soon as you’ll let him take care of you completely. “Where are you going? Should I call Miwa over for a bit to watch Touma, go with?”

“No, you can’t go to this shit.” You frown deeper, and he tilts your chin up, shaking his head. “Dangerous.”

“Then why do you go!?” You whisper, heart feeling with fear, and he leans closer, arms now on either side of you on the counter.

“Baby girl I run a mob, I’m not some little bitch. I’m always good.”

“But-”

“This is part of it.” His tone is firmer, and he lifts his jacket, showing an array of guns and knives glinting that make your tummy flip.

“All that?” You whisper, eyeing him with even more fear.

“I’m always good, promise. You play pretty housewife and hang out with the kid, I need to deal with…”

“Naoya?” You’re mouthing it, he shakes his head.

“Not yet. Meeting with the Kamo family first, okay?”

“So not as…”

“No, they’re pretty in with the Gojo family. But this isn’t a concern, what I need you to do is wear him out today so I get you all to myself, hmm?” He’s smirking, and you fight him with a pout, until he keeps kissing you over and over, and you’re melting in his arms, nodding. “Good girl.”

“You’re not playing fair.” He’s pulling and your waist just a bit, thumbs brushing under your breasts, as every nerve ending is on fire for him.

“I’ll be back later, make me something yummy for dinner too?”

“You’re liking this a lot aren’t you?” You tease, but he hears it, the hope and nerves in your voice, he pinches your ass, and you hold in your yelp, smacking a hand on your mouth as he grins.

“I’ll like it more when you melatonin the-”

“Kuna!”

“Well, just saying. I need to go though.” He frowns at his rolex, and your heart feels like it will pound from your chest in fear. “Have you seen me? Think anyone can fuck with me?”

You look down, terrified for him, feeling the guilt of causing more problems gnawing at you. “But he-”

“Ain’t got shit on me, brat, does he?” Sukuna raises a brow, god you want to just stay in his arms forever, but you know you can’t.

“Nothing, and you know that. But he’s-”

“Ah-ah. Shut it. Now, entertain the kid or whatever you do? Take the day to relax a bit. If you need something just call me.” He leans a little closer, pressing his lips on your forehead, your eyes flutter shut at how good it feels. “Bodyguards are outside, no one will come here.”

“Thank you, Kuna.”

“Tch. You’ll thank me later alright.” You glare so cute, as he walks by, but not before Touma runs to him, hugging his thigh again, and the sight is so adorable your cheeks hurt from grinning. “God, you’re a clingy kid huh?”

“Mr. Kuna, will you watch a movie with me later?” He asks, and Sukuna rolls his red eyes, shrugging as he tries to pry the kid off him.

“Sure, but I’ll pick it, maybe Godfather or-”

“You will not even watch Godfather!” He smirks over at you, winking.

“I’ll let your Mama pick instead.”

“Okay! Have fun at work!” Sukuna bites back a smile, walking out then, leaning against the door and righting himself, he’s been too blissful for the day, for the night, now he knows, it’s time to get serious. He takes his phone, hearing Satoru’s voice on the other line now.

“Got it scheduled right?” He asks Gojo then, and he sighs.

“Yeah, yeah, but it’s gonna be so boring.”

“Rather bang that bartender huh?” He snorts in laughter as he rides the elevator down, hearing Gojo sigh dramatically again.

“More than that.”

“Shit, you down that bad already?”

“Says you, Stepdad Kuna.”

“God don’t you fuckin’ call me that too, shit.” He’s disgusted as he steps into the back of the limo, hanging up and seeing Satoru in the backseat, all pouting.

“I don’t wanna be up this early going to see them, they’re so-”

“Boring, yeah yeah. Think I wanna?” Sukuna grumbles right back, looking out the window for a moment, thinking of spending the day with you.

“I know this is necessary just… the Kamo family are pretentious as fuck, I get tired of trying to make deals with them.” Satoru sprawls his long legs, then perks up just a bit as Sukuna grabs a little baggie. “Gonna share?”

“If it cheers your mopey ass up.” Satoru’s grin is back, though his shades are pushed up a little higher than usual. “You gonna go on a date with her?”

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna ask her…”

“When?”

“Um… I… how do you ask a girl out exactly? I’ve never…”

“Yeah.” Sukuna snorts in laughter again. “We are not having a father to son talk I sure the fuck hope.”

“I’m not much younger, and women just come to me.” Satoru sighs again, snorting a line and pinching his nose. “I really like her, Kuna.”

“I hate that name so fucking much.” Sukuna snorts one too, wishing he could instead snort it off your pretty body. “Just ask her?”

“Like and take her where?”

“I don’t fucking know, Fiji?”

“Yeah?”

“No, Satoru, shit… like dinner or something. Hmm…” He pauses then, he hasn’t even taken you out yet. “Where do you take dates?”

“Let’s ask Suguru.” When Satoru and Sukuna stop in front of Suguru’s place and he glides in, he’s now bombarded by the two grown ass men, Satoru pouting, Sukuna’s lips in a terse line.

“You all look… serious.” Suguru muses with a smirk.

“How do you ask a girl on a date!?” Satoru asks, and Sukuna shakes his head, holding up a hand.

“Where do you take your girl on a date?” 

Suguru blinks a bit now, before snorting in laughter, one of his hands over his mouth, shaking dark hair. “You two serious?” A pair of blue and red eyes just stare at him now, and he sighs. “Shit, you are. Alright then…”

I KNOW so much fluff- this will clearly be more than six parts- prob eight? I don't know yet I'm having too much fun with Stepdad Kuna don't you judge him!!!

Taglist #1 @naina326 @1worm1 @yenayaps @shokosbunny @sukubusss @msniks @kittyyyyykats @nyxly1412 @trashsuarecan @dumbbunny98 @monster-effer @tojis-ball-sack @tangsakura @friesnkwtchup @lhhlver @attackonnat @moonchhu @mat-mat-mat @cherryjain17 @havkjhdecs @stargirl-mayaa @the-dark-creature @lulunx @saitamaswifey @spacefae-x @deitysdream @sorahatake @gojoscumslut @stainednailpolishremover @kidd3ath @clp-84 @rinkomei @catastayy @oneirataxiaa @inthedarkshadows000 @travistheaussie @cold-blooded-girls @emi311 @blublublubby @fluttershyfangs @actuallynarii @7thsthings @ilovemeni @erluu @for-hearthand-home @angellliqua @mai-505 @suguru-nugget @scorpiosugar

[soulsvn]

𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐚

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 1] Indecent Proposal

Story Masterlist

Pairing: Knight!Toji Fushiguro x Princess!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Suggestive Content, Minor Sex Talk

Story Summary: This is what'll get Toji killed... But how can he reject her when she looks up at him with such beautiful eyes? A man that's been to war won't be killed by the edge of a sword but rather the lips of a woman.

He shouldn’t lay a finger on her, but he’ll do anything that she asks him to. She’s his princess, he has to follow her every word.

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Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky

“Toji!” You yell from the top of your lungs, and the man that stands outside your door can’t help but sigh. He knocks on the door of your room, only for you to yell some obscenities. He rolls his eyes before opening the door. 

What a kind and proper princess. He’s won wars only to deal with this. The scars on his body mean nothing. Protecting the princess should be of the highest honor– If only she weren’t such a brat.

“What, princess?” He questions as his eyes widen. It should be no shocker to find you underdressed, but he can’t help but be surprised each and every time. You truly don’t view him as a man.

“Help me with the corset.” You order as his eyes land on your maid. The woman has stepped aside to let him take charge. 

“Isn’t it tight enough?” He questions, seeing how tight it looks. It looks proper enough, but it seems that you want it to suffocate you. Your request alone tells him where you’re going tonight.

“Get to work.” You tell him, not answering his question. He’s right, it is tight enough, but it could be tighter. Toji grabs the strings on the back and you hold your breath as he pulls. Tonight is going to be long, but it’ll all be worth it.

“Where are we going?” He foolishly asks, as if he didn’t know. You’re trying to see those who you call friends. The ones that snicker when you turn your back to them. 

“Did you forget, Toji?” You ask as he pulls some more. He furrows his eyebrows, trying to recall what’s happening tonight. There’s no response from him, letting you know that he’s completely forgotten. “My engagement party.”

“Of course, finally.” He responds. “You’re finally meeting the prince that I’ve been hearing nonstop about for–” 

“He isn’t here.” You cut him off, leaving the man at a loss for words. An engagement party with no groom, what else did Toji expect from royalty? “He couldn’t make it tonight so we’re moving on without him.”

“Will this happen at the wedding too?” Toji mutters, something that your keen hearing picks up on. And you just can’t keep your mouth quiet about it, you have to say something. 

“Shut up, Toji. What do peasants even know about weddings?” You roll your eyes before they fall on your maid. You mouth an apology to her for your comment; it’s meant to offend Toji, not her. 

The old woman laughs, finding the bickering as a great source of entertainment. She got annoyed with it at first, but after two years of watching it happen before her eyes, she’s grown fond of it. It’s nice to see you get along with someone that’s just not her. Maybe getting along isn’t the right phrase to describe your relationship with Toji, but she’s not sure how else to put it.

“Do you think we get married in a pig’s sty or what?” Toji questions as he lets you go, patting your back twice to let you know that he’s done. 

“Yes. In a place full of shit and with loud animals.” You add, making Toji scoff. In a way, Toji should be honored. You don’t speak to anyone else like this.

“Just shout my name if you need anything else.” He responds, something that he shouldn’t even bother saying since that’s what’ll happen anyway. Your voice stops him before he can walk out the door.

“Emerald uniform tonight.” You remind him, and he hums in response. An improper response, but proper for an improper princess.

“Toji.” The man hears from a sweet familiar voice. He’s hiding in the kitchen, filling his stomach up before the engagement party tonight. He already feels it in his veins, tonight will be interminable.

“Hanako, can I help you?” Toji asks as he stuffs his mouth with a crab cake. Kitchen staff have slapped his hand one too many times tonight, but he still manages to sneak some food in. “Does the princess need me?” 

“The kitchen staff told me to come here to drag you away.” Your old maid tells him, making him click his tongue. He can’t even enjoy a proper meal in the damned castle. 

“I’m just having a short meal before watching over the brat and her friends tonight.” Toji’s words are barely comprehensible with all the food in his mouth.

“Do not refer to the princess as a brat.” Hanako slaps the back of his head, making the man whine. Who thought that such an old woman could have such a firm hand? “She is a very kind woman, do not speak like that about her.”

“Why does the princess hate me then?” He questions, his hand rubbing the spot that Hanako hit.

“The princess does not hate you.” She responds, and he rolls his eyes.

Right, is that why you insult him so much? Toji doesn’t care enough about it, but he does notice how you treat him differently from everyone else. You’re kind to everyone in your surroundings— Whether they’re royalty or the help. But Toji? He’s a whole different story.

“Then why does she act the way she does?” He asks, and the old woman can’t help but chuckle. She should keep her mouth quiet about it, but there’s no harm in it. You’ll be getting married soon.

“Well, dear, don’t tell anyone else this but…” She begins, looking around the kitchen. Everyone is too worried about making a feast, that they aren’t paying attention. She still does lower her voice before confessing to him, “The princess has a tiny crush on you, and she isn’t a woman that’s in touch with her feelings.”

His eyes widen as his lips turn into a straight line. The old woman is messing with him… He didn’t expect it from Hanako of all people, but he’s been proven wrong. 

“A crush, huh? Don’t lie to me, old woman.” Toji’s words earn him another slap, this time on his forehead. He whines again, rubbing that spot as he tells her, “You have such a firm hand…”

“Respect your elders.” She tells him, hand wrapping around his wrist to drag him out of the kitchen. He should fight it, but he knows better than to argue with the elderly.

“Toji…” Toji’s sick of hearing his name, and the night is far from over… How could he forget that the engagement party is tonight?

His eyes fall on Mayu, a maid that works closely with him in the castle. She smiles brightly at Toji, a man that can’t return the sentiment. He’s exhausted to say the least.

“Hi, Mayu.” He greets her, not caring to look twice at her. She’s a nice girl that keeps Toji company whenever he’s not watching after a certain someone that makes him want to rip his hair out. However, whenever he’s working he’s not all that interested in her.

“The emerald uniform tonight, huh? The princess insisted that everyone wears this awful color.” The woman laughs, hoping that Toji joins in, but his mind is elsewhere. Toji ponders on the old woman’s comment– A crush on him? She’s turning senile.

“The princess gets what she wants.” He replies, making Mayu hum in response. She keeps trying to make conversation with him, but it’s obvious that the man doesn’t care enough. He zones out for a minute, in which he realizes that she’s still talking. 

“So I was wondering…” She begins, and he raises his eyebrow. “Will you–”

“Toji!” She’s interrupted before she can ask her question. She rolls her eyes, realizing that it’s by none other than the woman herself. Her eyebrows furrow when she sees the man’s reaction. His jaw nearly drops as he realizes why you’ve chosen emerald of all colors for tonight, luckily, he manages to remain his composure.

“What is it, princess?” Toji responds, while Mayu begins to walk away. You walk over to him, looking both ways to see if you spot the old woman.

“Have you seen Hanako? She’s supposed to help me get ready.” You ask him as he looks you up and down. He’s almost checking you out– But oh, your father would tear him to shreds. 

“You look ready to me. Certainly not how I found you earlier.” He answers, and a frown comes to your face. That wasn’t the question you asked, so why is he answering like that? 

“Answer my question, Toji.” You tell him, which ends up with him shrugging.

“Don’t know. Last time we talked, she was dragging me out of the kitchen.” He informs you, making you laugh as you shake your head disappointedly. 

“When do you not think about eating?” You point out, and he puts his hands up defensively.

“I wouldn’t be this hungry if you fed me.” He argues, making you click your tongue.

“You’re a big boy, you can feed yourself.” You argue back, and he gives you a peculiar look before clearing his throat.

“Touché, princess. Next time I’ll leave my post to get myself some food.” He replies, speaking to you as if he’s won the argument. However, there’s no way to win an argument if you’re involved. 

“You know you can leave without an issue.” You tell him, which makes him cross his arms. You stare at each other for a minute before he reminds you,

“Your father would kill me.”

“I don’t need protection all day every day.” You respond.

“Your father would kill me.” He emphasizes, making you scoff. He’s won, but you’d never admit it.

“I’ll feed you, just help me put on my necklace.” You say, and he has no other option but to follow behind you. He’s no longer hungry, but it’s not like he has the option to refuse to help you.

Toji stands in the doorway, watching as you rummage to find the necklace you’re wearing tonight. Knowing you, you probably lost it in a matter of hours. It’s funny, you have so much that you hold little regard to a piece of jewelry that could secure the stability and wellbeing of a village.

Luck is really a hilarious concept. You have everything while so many struggle to survive. Not only wealth, but the looks and intelligence that many people lack. Your only downside is that you’re a damned brat, but even poor people can act like you do. Maybe that’s why you annoy Toji so easily, you have nearly everything a person could ask for, yet you fail to realize it.

“Bingo!” You exclaim, proudly holding up the velvety black box. You walk over towards Toji, and hand it to him. He scoffs, when you fail to open the box, which is the simplest task that he can think of. 

His eyes glimmer when he opens the box, admiring the beautiful stones that will adorn your neck tonight. No farmer will ever see this much money in their lifetime, let alone hold it in their hands like Toji is right now. He can’t ponder on that thought though, there’s nothing he can do about it. 

That’s just the way life is.

He takes the necklace and puts it on your neck, his big fingers struggling with the small clasp. He mutters a few curses under his breath, causing you to laugh. Toji rarely struggles on a task, and apparently, this is one of them.

“You know, I can save you a dance if you’d like.” You say out of the blue, trying to make conversation to fill in the gaps of silence. You know Toji enough to know that he’ll reject it, but maybe just maybe, tonight he’ll change his mind.

“I have two left feet.” He answers, making you chuckle. You should’ve expected as much– At least this time around he didn’t bring up how inappropriate it’d be, and how he’s just the protection. Toji finally gets the necklace on. 

“Luckily for you, I have two right feet so I balance it out.” You respond, turning around and grabbing his hands. He’s quick to retract them from your grasp. Toji likes to play it safe. Once upon a time, he was completely different but once upon a time he didn’t work in the castle. 

“A proper princess such as yourself shall not dance with a peasant.” He’s using the various arguments he’s heard throughout the years against you, and he can tell that you’re not exactly pleased with it. You puff out a breath, crossing your arms.

“Suit yourself.” You say, walking out of the room to which he’s forced to follow. “Just so you know, that was a once in a lifetime offer. I’ll never ask you to dance with me again.”

“I won’t be missing out.” He comments, making you momentarily glare at him. At that moment he thinks of the old woman’s words again… A crush? Maybe she isn’t as senile as he thought.

“Toji.” The same soft voice from earlier calls out his name, and he rolls his eyes. It’s nothing against Mayu, she’s a sweet girl, Toji is just sick of hearing the stupid name over and over again. He doesn’t even like it, so why do people love to say it?

He looks around the ballroom, excessively decorated just for one night. The palace is always clean, and decorated but never this pristine. There’s flowers in every corner and he swears he sees his reflection on the floor. There’s a massive orchestra performing for the guests, playing music that can bore him to death. 

The castle almost looks lively. Almost.

“What is it?” He sounds annoyed. He’s just standing in the corner, waiting for the princess to make her grand entrance before he’s allowed to take a break. The place is going to be filled with guards, he’s not needed until you decide to leave.

“I was wondering if you’d… Like to dance with me after all of these guests leave?” She looks down at the ground in shame, quickly regretting the question. He should be the one to ask, but she knows that he’d never step up and do it. She just assumes that it just isn’t the type of guy Toji is.

“After the orchestra leaves? With what music?” Toji responds, and she bites down her lip. She never really thought about that.

“Perhaps the princess will give us a chance to dance. It is courting season.” She says, making Toji chuckle. It’s not for the reason she thinks though.

“Courting season is for noblewomen.” He reminds her, a rather harsh reminder. Maybe in another life she’ll be born as the princess, but she certainly doesn’t have that sort of luck this time around.

“Right.” She subtly nods, disappointed by the answer. She bites down her lip, looking around the place. She tries to change the topic to something that Toji would be more willing to talk about, “Is the princess being insufferable today?”

She’s met by a cold gaze, and she just wants to dig a hole and crawl in it. Nothing she says or does impresses him. She should know better than to try.

“Hey, Toji…” She mutters again, just as you make your grand entrance. The way his pupils dilate as he watches you come down the stairs. There’s no change in facial expression, but his eyes are a dead giveaway.

She’s ignored, but she doesn’t try again. She won’t compete with a princess. Toji will eventually crawl to her. One morning he’ll wake up and realize that he’ll never be accepted into royalty.

His eyes are dead set on you, as you begin to dance with your father. The first dance should be for your fiancé… Yet, the man isn’t here. Toji wonders what the point of an engagement party is if your fiancé isn’t here. You’ll just stand in a corner, and watch everyone dance whilst the jealous nobles speak ill of you.

He’s noticed that everything the royals do is for show. Otherwise, this engagement party would’ve been canceled.

“I’m taking my break.” Mayu comments, something that falls on deaf ears again. Toji should leave behind Mayu, but he keeps staring at you. He’s watching as you walk over to the group of women that you call your friends. 

Toji rolls his eyes before following Mayu, deciding that he won’t watch you make a fool of yourself tonight. 

“Toji.” He’s nearly drooling on the kitchen table, his drowsiness getting the best of him. He doesn’t know whether he wants to kill them or thank them for waking him up; he guesses it’s the latter since he’s still on duty. He doesn’t want to be caught slacking off, especially not by–

“Princess?! What are you doing back here?” His eyes snap wide open at the realization that it’s you. At least it’s not the king. You won’t get him in trouble for sleeping. A big yawn escapes his lips before he asks, “Aren’t you supposed to be dancing the night away?”

“You know…” You begin, taking a seat with him on the table. He notices the spark in your eyes is gone, knowing that it’s all because of your friends. They said something and now you’re here, instead of enjoying your engagement party. “An engagement party isn’t all that fun when your fiancée isn’t there.”

“Well, I’m sure he had a great reason.” Another yawn escapes Toji’s lips as he tries to reassure you. It’s not late or anything, the day just tires you out when all you hear is your name being called over and over again. 

“I wouldn’t know myself.” You awkwardly chuckle, and now he knows the talking point of the evening. He doesn’t know how, but the women manage to get under your skin. You just seek approval from everyone, perhaps it’s because you don’t have many friends.

“If it helps, I have a huge sword that can take care of the problem.” Toji jokes, but you furrow your eyebrows. You have no idea what he’s talking about, and he won’t explain himself either. He clears his throat before asking, “Do you want to take a walk?”

“Yeah.” You end up agreeing, standing up from your chair. He walks behind you as you look for an exit, which ends up on him grabbing your hand and leading you to the outside. You’ve lived in this castle for over twenty years, yet he knows the place better than you. It’s good that he’s by your side, because you’d be lost otherwise.

You can still hear the music from the orchestra inside, the sound becoming faint as you walk further away. You might not know your way inside, but you know the walk straight to the garden from anywhere.

Toji won’t speak unless he’s spoken to, that’s his role.

“Do you think it’s dumb to marry someone you don’t know?” You suddenly ask him, walking to the fountain that ties together the garden. Toji bites down his tongue. Being honest isn’t the best policy here. He knows how to pick his battles, and frankly, this isn’t one that’s worth fighting. 

Sure, you tend to bicker a lot but he says stuff that is harmless. He never plans to hurt your feelings, it’s not something he intends to face the consequences for. 

“Toji, answer.” You insist, hating the silence that you’re met with. “Staying silent is an answer either way.”

“Well…” He sighs. You take a seat on the edge of the fountain, looking up at the man. He looks hesitant, telling you all you need to know. “I’ve always thought that you’re supposed to marry for love.”

“Yeah…” You look down at the ground, almost in shame. Toji doesn’t understand why, because you have everything a human could ask for– He married for love once, and it was stripped from his hands. Love doesn’t secure anything; the power and money in your hands is a guarantee to a good life.

“It’s not worth it anyway.” Toji reassures you, something that he rarely does. He doesn’t have to, you’re never self conscious. Unless you bump into your friends, then your mind completely changes.

“Right! You were married once, how was that?” You look back up at him, curiosity brimming your eyes. Toji shakes his head, deciding not to speak. You end up sighing before talking again, “They know more about him than I do… And it feels weird.”

“What do they know?” He asks, and he watches you bite down your lip. Your face ends up going into your hands as you tell him,

“They say he’s a sex freak.” Your words come muffled, and he blames what he hears on that. Those words did not just come out of your mouth.

He frowns before asking, “What did you say, princess? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“He’s known to be promiscuous.” He hears you loud and clear this time around, and his eyes go wide. He’s perplexed by the response, but he shouldn’t be. Royalty or not, a man is still a man. He’s not sure how to answer, leaving you to speak by yourself. “What if I’m not enough for him? I mean I know nothing and–”

“I’m sure you’ll be more than enough.” Toji ends up cutting you off before you can ramble. You furrow your eyebrows, crossing your arms like the damned brat that you are.

“For you, maybe.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He quickly asks, and you click your tongue.

“You’re a peasant. Peasants are satisfied with anything they pick from a brothel– But he’s royalty.” You explain, making Toji scoff. He mimics you, crossing his arms while staring you down.

“Where do you think your royal prince is going to be promiscuous?” He leans down, getting into your face. If the king saw him, his head would roll off for being too close to the precious princess. “Maybe you’re right. I wouldn’t be satisfied with you either.”

“Good thing you’ll never be the prince.” You stick out your tongue at him, and Toji rolls his eyes. 

“You’ll be fine, princess.” He ends up telling you, but that’s not enough to soothe the sudden wave of nerves. “You need to stop listening to those women. They’re jealous of your status.”

“Toji…” Your breath hitches, thinking if you really want to ask him the question. No, you shouldn’t. It’s not appropriate– You still spit it out, “How do you have sex?”

“Princess, I was there when they taught you this. I don’t have to explain this to you.” Toji quickly answers, trying to look unphased by the rather odd question. It’s a good thing someone else is raising his son because he doesn’t know how to handle it. “Which was quite weird, considering you were well into your twenties.”

“No, I mean how is it enjoyable? How do you make a man enjoy it?” You’re practically interrogating him, and while Toji isn’t one to get nervous, this isn’t sitting well with him.  

“It’s just something that…” He begins, and he can’t bring himself to say it. Instead he extends his hand for you to take, insisting, “Let’s go back inside.”

“What?” You’re quite annoyed that he doesn’t give you the answer to your question.

“Look, princess. There’s no explanation. It just feels good when it’s with the right person, that’s that.” He ends up giving in, very clearly sharing your sentiment of annoyance. “Now, let’s go back inside before your father kills me.”

“Fine.” You roll your eyes, taking his hand and standing up. He guides you back inside, where you’re everyone’s prey once again. Your eyes keep wandering back to him, but before you know it, Toji’s out of sight.

“Hmm… Toji.” She knew that this is how she’d end up tonight. No matter how much Toji tries to ignore her, he ends up coming back to her in the darkest moments of the night. 

Toji marks Mayu’s neck, knowing that she had no way of hiding it tomorrow. She likes to think that it’s because he’s possessive, rather than him just being reckless. It doesn’t matter the reason, she’s still digging her nails into his back as his kisses get lower and riskier.

“Toji!” They both hear, making the man freeze. She puts her index finger over his lips. If he doesn’t make a sound, they’ll go away. “I need your help!”

“She’ll leave if you don’t say anything.” Mayu whispers, and Toji’s too in the moment so he agrees. It’s his job as your assigned knight, but it’s after hours. 

He thinks he’s safe after a minute, but the man often forgets how invasive you can be.

“Toji–” The door opens, and he looks back at you. Your eyes go wide and you immediately cover your face, protecting yourself from the compromising situation. He stares back at you with guilty eyes, as if he’s tainted your innocence in any manner. 

“What is it, princess?” He asks, getting himself off Mayu and grabbing a shirt. It’s after hours, you’re assigned a different guard until the morning. What can he do that your guard possibly can’t?

“It’s fine, after further thought, I can handle it.” You respond, taking baby steps as you back out. Toji sighs, looking back at Mayu.

“Leave.” He mouths to her, and he watches as the woman gets upset. Toji doesn’t have the energy to deal with her, instead, he walks over to you. His hand goes to your shoulder and he turns you around.

“Are you decent?” You question, and Toji almost smirks. You can really crack him up even when it’s not your intention.

“I’m walking you back to your room, am I not?” Toji answers, and he watches you uncover your face. It’s clear that you’re embarrassed about the situation you found him in. He ends up chuckling before saying, “I guess you can say that I’m one of the peasants you described earlier.”

“What do you– Oh! No. No no. You like that girl and–” Your brain is unable to find the right words. It’s as if the system is overheated after finding your knight in that situation. “You know I just say things to tease you.”

“I don’t really like her.” He confesses, and you raise your brow. You don’t respond to that, you’re not sure how to.

He clears his throat, “What did you need help with?”

“I needed help with something and I didn’t want to ask Hanako.” You answer, and he shakes his head disapprovingly.

“So you chose to bother me instead?” He’s mostly teasing, but you can’t look him in the eye. “You know, that still doesn’t answer my question. What could I do that your night guard can’t?”

“Nothing. It’s trifling.” You reply. You’re nearing the room, and you both notice how your night guard is missing. He’s most definitely looking for you.

“Here you are, princess.” Toji opens the door to your room. He has to make sure that you enter your room safe and sound, and that you don’t try to escape– Oh, what a headache that would be. 

Your gaze falls on his massive arm, one that is usually covered by the long sleeves of his uniform. Right now he wears a simple white undershirt, one that gives you the view of the many scars on his arms. Scars that he’s gotten throughout the years of many battles. You know better than anyone that Toji has been through a lot, otherwise he wouldn’t have the position as your knight. 

You don’t know why you keep staring at it, or why you like it. Your face begins to get warm, and you almost have to pinch yourself to get out of the trance that you suddenly have found yourself in.

“Goodnight, princess.” Toji tells you, knocking you back into reality. You step into the room, muttering a barely audible goodnight. Your hand goes to the door knob, and just as you’re about to shut the door in his face, he asks you, “Are you sure you don’t need any help with anything? What you needed sounded urgent.”

“I’m fine.” You nod as you begin to shut the door in his face. But you stop yourself when there’s a crack in the door. What’s the worst that can happen?

“Is everything–” Toji begins when you open the door wide once again. Nothing can possibly prepare him for the question that leaves your lips. The help that you needed just a few minutes ago– It wasn’t just anything that anyone could fulfill.

There’s a reason you sought him.

“Toji, will you have sex with me?” 

[soulsvn]

Our Blessing ♡ Chapter 02

♡ Pairing: Toji Zenin x reader

♡ Synopsis: in which your ex boyfriend left you with your biggest blessing in life, or- a bundle of a blessing. And he doesn’t even know it.

♡ tags/warnings: 18+, (explicit content in later chapters) angst, and drama, exes to lovers, hidden baby trope, Toji is an asshole (but we love him), Reader just wants to raise Megumi in peace, CEO Toji, possessive Toji, emotionally constipated Toji, Tension, misunderstandings, Flashbacks to past relationship, Heavy themes of abandonment, trust issues, and redemption, baby Megumi is a cutie, Megumi is a mama’s boy, reader works at a flower shop, Hidden Baby Trope

♡ Masterlist ♡ Previous ♡ Next

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The bar reeked of one thing. Not alcohol, not drugs—opulence.

Perched atop one of Japan’s tallest skyscrapers, Horizon was the kind of place where power and money spoke louder than words.

Floor-to-ceiling windows framed the Tokyo skyline, the glittering city stretching endlessly below, lights shimmering like constellations against the inky night. Inside, the atmosphere was a curated blend of wealth and exclusivity—dim mood lighting casting sleek shadows across black marble floors, deep leather seating arranged for whispered conversations, and servers in sharp-cut suits, trained to serve without being seen.

It was the first Saturday of the month. A tradition, unshaken even after college, no matter how busy their lives became.

At a private table, in a section roped off for only the highest clientele, sat a group of men whose names carried weight across the country. Japan’s most powerful, most untouchable, and most eligible bachelors.

Gojo Satoru, heir to a real estate empire of old money and power, his presence as blinding as the white hair atop his head. Geto Suguru, ever calm, ever composed, the sharp mind behind tech industries that would take most men lifetimes to control. Ryomen Sukuna, the wildcard, draped in arrogance, his wealth tied to underground dealings no one dared question.

Born into one of Japan’s most powerful families, Toji wasn’t just wealthy—he was the Zenin heir.

When his father died, leaving behind a fortune vast enough to sustain generations, Toji didn’t just sit back and preserve it.

He tripled it.

Through ruthless business ventures, high-stakes investments, and an instinct sharper than any financial advisor’s best predictions, he transformed the Zenin name into something more than just old money. It was new dominance. 

A force that dictated markets, bought influence, and ensured that the name Zenin wasn’t just spoken with respect, but with caution.

The scent of aged whiskey and smoldering cigars curled through the air, mingling with the low hum of conversation. The four of them sat back in their private booth, drinks in hand, Tokyo glittering beneath them like a chessboard waiting to be played.

"Suguru, what's got your ass all twisted up? You've been off lately," Satoru drawled, nudging his best friend with a teasing elbow—an oddly childish gesture in a setting so drenched in wealth.

Sukuna snorted, swirling the amber liquid in his glass before taking a slow sip. "Can’t believe I’m saying this, but the idiot’s right. You’ve been acting weird as fuck lately, man."

Satoru turned to fire back, lips already curling into a smirk, but paused when Suguru let out a deep sigh.

They weren’t wrong. He had been acting off.

And why?

His sharp, cat-like eyes flickered toward one of his oldest friends—Toji of all fucking people—and instantly, like a ghost haunting the back of his mind, he saw it again.

That kid.

The pint-sized version of Toji he had spotted weeks ago, sitting by your side eating pizza.

He was adorable, with big green eyes and dark hair that spiked upwards. He was also hauntingly enough, a replica of his dear friend sat across from him.

It gnawed at him.

How the hell was he supposed to sit here, sipping whiskey and smoking his cigar, pretending everything was normal, when Toji had a whole damn child he didn’t even know about?

With the love of his life, at that.

The secret sat like a stone in his gut, pressing heavier with each second. But still, Suguru brought his cigar to his lips, took a long drag, and exhaled slowly through his nose.

"Don't know what you guys are talking about," he muttered, voice smooth but empty.

Because fuck.

This wasn’t his business to tell.

Suguru forced the thought down, drowning it in another slow drag of his cigar.

Satoru, ever the gossip, rolled his eyes, swirling the amber liquid in his glass as he shifted in his seat. “Boring, Suguru. Well, since he’s not opening up, I might as well. Guys, you won’t believe what happened to me today.”

He leaned in slightly, the dim overhead lighting catching on the rims of his sunglasses as he peered at them all, clearly waiting for someone to bite.

Toji raised a brow, finally breaking his silence. “What, lost a bar of that shitty candy you inhale every day on your lunch break?” He snorted, lips curling.

Satoru waved him off, unfazed—and unwilling to admit that, yes, that had indeed happened earlier.

“Fuck you, Toji. No, I had an old hookup show up at my office today, screaming at my intern like a lunatic, claiming that I—”

Toji cut him off with a sharp grin, already amused. “Don’t tell me you knocked a one-night stand up.”

“I’ll have you know, she wasn’t a one-night stand.” Satoru placed a hand over his chest, feigning deep offense. “We met in Ibiza, and we had a magical week together!"

“That’s just a fucking nightmare,” Sukuna scoffed, tipping his glass back. “You, of all people, with a kid?”

“Oh come on, I’d be great! My kid would be gorgeous,” Satoru declared, ever confident. Suguru feels himself turning green with where this conversation was headed.

“Gorgeous with a mouth full of cavities, I bet,” Toji drawled, taking a slow sip of his drink.

“Nothing a great dentist can’t fix,” Gojo quipped, brushing it off like it was nothing. “Anyways, not the point of the story. She’s getting rid of it tomorrow—I had my lawyer draft up an NDA, so it’ll all be fine.”

Sukuna shook his head, amusement curling at the edges of his smirk. “F’course it’d be you out of all of us to have the first pregnancy scare.”

Satoru furrowed his white brows. “Is that a joke? Toji is sitting right next to you, y’know.”

Suguru could throw up right here, right now, all over this table and it still wouldn't be enough to make him feel any better.

Toji arched a brow, unimpressed. “The hell’s that supposed to mean?” He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “I’m not out here sleeping around like you.”

Satoru grinned, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Well, no, but you were in a relationship for what—six years? And Y/N let me in on your little distaste for condoms, you know. I’m shocked nothing came out of that.”

Sukuna let out a low whistle, nudging Toji’s side. “Yeah, got you there, brother.”

Suguru took a slow, deep breath, staring at the swirling whiskey in his glass.

The conversation was pressing in on him, each word adding weight to the already unbearable tension in his chest. He couldn't do this. If he just stood up and walked out, would it be too obvious?

Toji rolled his green eyes, exhaling through his nose. “I didn’t meet Y/N and start fucking her raw after a week in Ibiza, Satoru. I was with her for six years. Sue me.”

Satoru backed off with his hands raised in mock surrender, a grin still tugging at his lips. “Relax, relax. Speaking of Y/N, I could’ve sworn I saw her the other day at that pizza place we used to go to. Did you see her too, Suguru?”

The shift in conversation hit Suguru like a freight train. His entire body tensed, but he forced himself to keep his expression steady.

He hadn't spoken to Satoru about seeing you and the kid, never even mentioned it.

Toji’s brow quirked up, green eyes flicking toward Geto with sudden interest. The curiosity in them was undeniable.

Suguru’s grip on his cigar tightened. Think. Quickly.

“Y/N?” He scoffed, shaking his head as he brought the cigar to his lips, inhaling deeply.

When he exhaled, he kept his voice smooth, controlled. “I remember the woman you’re talking about but it wasn’t her. Just someone who looked like her.”

Satoru hummed, none the wiser. “Yeah, makes sense. That lady had a kid with her, too. Y/N never even had family or friends like that to be babysitting for.”

Suguru’s fingers curled tighter around his glass. He took another slow drag of his cigar, the smoke curling up toward the dim overhead lights, masking the flicker of unease in his gaze.

“Yeah,” he muttered, voice low. “No way it was her.”

He took another sip of whiskey, but the burn in his throat was nothing compared to the storm brewing in his chest as bright green eyes lingered on him.

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Autumn has settled in fully now, painting the world in warm hues of amber, crimson, and gold.

Leaves crunch underfoot as the wind carries them in lazy spirals along the paved sidewalks. The mornings have grown brisk, the kind that nip at your nose and fingertips, making you pull Megumi’s little coat tighter around him before sending him off to school.

His scarf, a deep navy blue, is carefully wrapped around his neck, though he always tugs at it halfway through the day, complaining that it’s too warm.

He’s been thriving at school, and that alone fills you with a relief so deep it’s almost dizzying!

You worried about him, afraid that his quiet and blunt nature might leave him isolated, unsure of how to make friends. But those fears were put to rest the moment he came home and started talking—really talking—about a boy in his class.

A boy named Yuuji.

Apparently, Yuuji was assigned the seat next to him, and from that moment on, there was no escaping the whirlwind of energy that was his new best friend.

Every day, Megumi would come home with some new story, some ridiculous antic Yuuji had pulled.

And even though this boy you hadn’t met yet seemed like the complete opposite of Megumi—rambunctious, loud, endlessly excitable—you couldn’t be more grateful for his presence.

You had even found yourself smiling, shaking your head in amusement, when Megumi’s teacher gently informed you during a parent-teacher meeting that he had been talking a bit too much in class lately.

Talking too much.

You nearly laughed in disbelief. Your Megumi?

You didn’t mind. Not one bit. Because you were just so glad to hear that Megumi wasn't struggling at all in class, instead thriving academically and socially!

Which is why today is so important.

A playdate.

The next step in any childhood friendship, and truthfully, you’re just as excited as Megumi.

He deserves this—deserves to have a friend he can run around with, someone who makes him laugh, someone his own age to share his days with.

Life can feel a little quiet when it’s just the two of you, and though Megumi has never complained, you’re sure he’s been longing for a companion outside of home.

The plan is simple. You coordinated with Yuuji’s father, Jin, since—according to the kindergarten gossip you’ve managed to gather from Megumi—his mom isn’t in the picture.

You don’t pry, but there’s a quiet understanding in the back of your mind.

First, you’ll meet them at the park, where the boys can run wild, burning through their seemingly endless energy.

Then, once they’ve had their fill of play, you’ll all sit down for lunch at a nearby restaurant, letting them refuel before no doubt finding some new way to tire themselves out again.

The walk to the park is peaceful, the late afternoon sun casting golden light over the quiet streets. 

The crisp autumn air carries the scent of fallen leaves, dry and earthy, while a gentle breeze rustles through the trees, shaking loose vibrant reds and oranges that drift lazily to the pavement.

Megumi walks beside you, his small hand warm in yours, but his steps begin to slow. You feel the slight tug on your arm before you hear his voice.

"Mama," he mumbles, rubbing his tired eyes with his free hand. "Carry me."

You glance down at him with an amused huff, already anticipating this. "Oh, honey, I don't know if my arms are strong enough anymore."

A darker thought crosses your mind. Toji could probably still carry him like it's nothing, like he's nothing more than a newborn.

You haven't seen the man in years, but if his physique was anything like it was back then—

You push the thought away just as quickly as it comes.

"Please?" Megumi's voice is softer this time, and when you glance down again, he's pouting, shifting on his feet like he already knows you’ll cave.

And how could you say no? Sore arms be damned—this is your baby! One day, far too soon, he’ll stop asking.

You crouch down, letting him wrap his arms around your neck before lifting him with a quiet grunt. 

He’s heavier than before, all gangly limbs and growing boy, but he sighs contentedly as he rests his head on your shoulder, his breath warm against your collarbone. You press a soft kiss to his dark hair, letting him nuzzle into your neck.

He won’t fit in your arms like this forever.

The thought lingers, settling into your chest with an ache. Soon, he’ll be too big to carry, too old to want you to. The weight of time feels heavier than the boy in your arms.

Your mind drifts to the slip of paper tucked away in your apartment. Toji’s phone number.

A part of you wonders if you’re wrong for not reaching out now that you can reach him. If you’re selfish for keeping Megumi to yourself. For letting Toji miss this—his son, growing up.

Megumi shifts slightly, pulling you from your thoughts. His small fingers toy with the pendant on your necklace—the little letter ‘M’ you got just for him.

You shake your head, pushing away the what-ifs. Today is about Megumi. About his happiness.

A sudden vibration against your hip snaps you back to the present. You shift Megumi in your arms to free one hand, retrieving your phone from your pocket.

Jin, Yuuji’s father: Hello Y/N! Something came up at work, so I wasn’t able to take Yuuji today, but my younger brother will instead. They’ve already left the house and will be there soon! Sorry for the short notice.

You type out a quick confirmation before tucking your phone away.

Megumi lifts his head slightly. "Are they here yet?"

"Not yet," you say, adjusting your hold on him. "But they should be soon."

His fingers absently trace over the smooth metal of your pendant before he hums in acknowledgment.

By the time you reach the park, the sun has dipped lower, casting long, dappled shadows across the playground. The cool breeze rustles through the empty swings, and the laughter of distant children fills the air.

You find an empty bench and sit, keeping Megumi settled in your lap a little longer, just because you can.

"Megumi!" He lifts his head, suddenly alert, his green eyes scanning the park.

The excited, high-pitched call is accompanied by the sound of small, eager footsteps. You barely get a glimpse before Megumi squirms out of your arms, landing on his feet with practiced ease. He straightens his posture, stuffing his hands into his pockets, trying to play it cool.

You turn toward the voice, and your heart melts at the sight.

Yuuji is absolutely adorable—fluffy pink hair, big brown eyes, a little shorter than Megumi, with the widest grin stretching across his face as he runs over. His joy is infectious, beaming like the sun itself.

But something about him feels… familiar.

Your eyes linger on the soft pink of his hair. It isn’t exactly a common color. And the longer you look at him, the stronger the unsettling familiarity grows.

No. There’s no way.

The thought barely has time to form before a deep, unmistakable voice cuts through your daze.

"Yuuji! Don't go running off without me, you brat."

Your breath catches.

No. Absolutely not.

Your blood runs cold as you turn toward the source, eyes widening, stomach plummeting.

There, towering over the playground with all his tattoos and his unmistakable aura of arrogance, is Ryomen Sukuna of all people.

You feel like the universe is playing some kind of twisted joke on you.

Big. Tall. Tattooed. Another one of Toji’s old friends.

And judging by the way he ruffles Yuuji’s hair—his nephew’s hair—he’s the younger brother Jin mentioned in his text.

Sukuna hasn’t even noticed you yet, too preoccupied with the excitable little boy bouncing in front of him. Yuuji beams up at you. "Wow, Megumi, your mom is really pretty!"

Megumi’s entire body tenses beside you. He steps closer, crossing his arms, his expression darkening.

"I know." he mutters, his glare sharp enough to cut through stone.

You snort, reaching out to rub his back. He huffs but doesn’t pull away, though you can feel the heat radiating off him. His protective streak never fails to amuse you.

The moment cuts through the tension in your chest, but only briefly. Because then you feel it—that unmistakable sensation of being watched.

"Megumi, let’s go play! I’ve been waiting forever! My uncle walks so slow," Yuuji exclaims, practically vibrating with excitement, his bright grin shining under the afternoon sun.

He’s adorable—so full of energy and joy that it makes you want to freeze this moment in time. Your son, on his first real playdate, with a friend who already seems so eager to be by his side.

But you can’t enjoy it. Because standing just a few feet away, arms crossed, towering like a living nightmare, is Ryomen Sukuna.

Of all people.

You blink, trying to process the absurdity of it. How the hell did this happen? What are the odds? What cruel joke is the universe playing on you?

Then, you decide—fuck it.

You’re not going to let Toji who's not even here, his idiot friends, or any other lingering ghosts from your past ruin this for you. This is Megumi’s moment. His first real friend.

You whip out your phone, ignoring Sukuna’s heavy stare as you crouch down slightly. "Alright, boys, stand together and smile!"

Megumi doesn’t really get the smiling part, settling for a neutral stare, while Yuuji doesn’t quite grasp the standing still part, fidgeting excitedly in place. It’s imperfect but perfect all the same, and you snap the pictures, your heart swelling at the sight of them together.

"Alright, go play, but make sure I can see you," you call out.

The second they take off running, your smile drops. You turn to Sukuna, a deep sigh escaping you. He stares right back at you, eyes running up and down your body as if trying to confirm that it is indeed you in front of him.

"Y/N, what the fuck?" Sukuna blurts out, disbelief etched across his face. His eyebrows practically hit his hairline as his sharp gaze flickers between you and Megumi who at this point, was climbing up the stairs to the slide.

Gosh, couldn't even start with a hey, how have you been?

You roll your eyes, already exhausted by this encounter. Seeing Suguru and Satoru was traumatizing enough. This? This is just the cherry on top.

"Ryomen, trust me—I’m feeling the same way. God what are the odds?" You inhale sharply through your nose, leveling Sukuna with a flat stare. His mouth curls into something between a smirk and genuine disbelief, arms folding across his broad chest as he waits for your response.

"Going out on a limb here," Sukuna drawls, tilting his head toward the direction Megumi ran off, "but is the little squirt Toji's?"

Your fingers tighten slightly around your phone. You knew the question was coming—it was inevitable the second he laid eyes on Megumi. The resemblance was too obvious.

Still, hearing it out loud makes something twist deep in your stomach.

"Don't call him that," you say coolly, arching a brow. "And what if he is?"

Sukuna lets out a sharp, amused breath, shaking his head like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. "Shit." His gaze flickers to Megumi in the distance, then back to you, something razor-sharp glinting in his expression. "Does Toji even know? There’s no way he does—he never mentioned it. Not once."

Your jaw tightens. You don’t answer right away.

Instead, you focus on Megumi, watching as he follows Yuuji up the jungle gym. His usual serious expression softens—just slightly—when the younger boy tugs at his sleeve, babbling excitedly about something.

Sukuna doesn’t need a verbal response. Your silence tells him everything.

"This is crazy," he breathes, his grin widening, teeth flashing like the devil himself. "You didn’t tell him?"

You exhale through your nose, resisting the urge to rub your temples. "It’s none of your business, Ryomen."

He lets out a low whistle, eyes gleaming with something unreadable. "Damn. That’s cold. And coming from you? Toji would never believe it."

Your scowl deepens. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Not about the kid," he clarifies, rolling his shoulders. "I mean, shit, we were literally talking about this last night. But you keeping this from him? He always thought you were harmless."

Something flickers across his face—amusement, sure, but also intrigue, like he’s trying to piece together how the hell this slipped past him. Past Toji.

"You gonna tell him?" Sukuna asks after a beat, gaze sharp, assessing.

Your stomach twists. The question has been haunting you ever since Suguru stepped into your shop weeks ago.

For years, you made peace with the fact that Toji would never know. That there was no way to reach him. That no matter how much it hurt, he had to be let go since Megumi always came first.

You had spent years stretching yourself thin—between your job, chasing after Toji, and most importantly, being a new mother. Something had to give. And bitterly enough, that something was Toji.

Now, after all this time, you have his number. Full access to him.

And you haven’t dialed it once, because something else is holding you back now.

Fear.

You glance back at the two boys, now racing toward the swings, their laughter ringing through the crisp evening air.

"Like I said," you mutter, voice quieter now. "None of your business."

Sukuna clicks his tongue, rocking back on his heels. "Alright, alright, I get it." He exhales, like shaking off the conversation. Then, with a pointed smirk, he adds, "But if you think he won’t find out eventually, you’re dumber than I remember."

Your eyes narrow. "You're not gonna tell him?"

He raises a brow, almost offended. "Why would I? It’s not my business to tell."

You scoff. "Oh please. He's your best friend."

Sukuna just grins, slow and knowing. "Yeah? And maybe I’m being a good friend by keeping quiet." He rubs his chin, tilting his head like he’s savoring the moment. "Wouldn’t wanna tell Toji that his favorite girl’s been keeping something like this from him all these years."

Your breath catches.

There’s something about his tone—something not quite mocking. Not quite amused. Something almost... pitying.

It makes your stomach churn.

Before you can press further, Yuuji’s excited voice slices through the tension like a blade.

"Uncle Sukuna! Push me!"

Sukuna’s gaze lingers on you for a beat longer, unreadable, before he turns away. "Saved by the brat," he teases, already striding toward the swings.

You exhale slowly, rubbing a hand over your face.

Of all people, it had to be Sukuna.

And now, whether you like it or not—one more person knows your secret.

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Lunch is… weird.

The kids, thankfully, are oblivious to the tension radiating off you in waves, too engrossed in their own little world to notice. Well, Yuuji chatters—Megumi mostly listens, nodding at appropriate intervals, his expression neutral but not disinterested.

Still, you have a feeling Megumi senses something is off.

He refuses to sit anywhere but next to you, his small frame pressed against your side, his tiny fingers curled into the fabric of your jacket. It’s a quiet, grounding presence, but it does nothing to settle the storm in your chest.

Across the table, Sukuna is insufferably at ease.

He lounges like this is a casual dinner between friends rather than a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t press, but his amusement is palpable.

You can feel it in the lazy way he drums his fingers against the table, the way his lips curl at the edges, the weight of his gaze lingering on you like he’s waiting—just waiting—for you to crack and curse him out.

You refuse to look at him.

Instead, you focus on the kids. Yuuji is deep in a monologue about a video game he’s been begging his dad to buy, talking between massive bites of a burger that looks almost too big for him.

Megumi, as always, listens quietly, picking at his chicken tenders, offering the occasional hum of acknowledgment.

And you? You’re barely holding it together.

Your food sits untouched, stomach twisted too tight to even pretend to eat. You’ve tried to play it cool in front of Sukuna, to act like you’re unaffected by the weight of this secret, but the truth is, you’re terrified.

Toji’s circle has always been small. Satoru, Suguru, Sukuna—his only real friends. The ones who had earned a place in that impenetrable fortress of trust.

And now, two out of three of them know about Megumi.

But Toji doesn’t.

And that thought alone is enough to make you want to curl into yourself and disappear.

You grip your utensils tighter, swallowing around the lump in your throat, barely registering the sound of laughter and clinking dishes around you.

There should be guilt buried somewhere in the mess of emotions clawing at your insides, but all you really feel is sheer, bone-deep anxiety.

Megumi, at least, has finally started actually eating, nibbling on a chicken tender while sipping a kid-sized soda. Yuuji, on the other hand, is still in a battle with his burger—one that’s about the size of his entire face.

Then, in the way only a child can, Yuuji shatters your already fragile nerves with a single, innocent comment.

"You don’t look anything like your mom, Megumi! You must look like your dad. I look just like mine!"

Your stomach plummets.

You freeze, fork clattering against your plate, pulse spiking so hard you swear your vision tunnels for a second. The world tilts, the restaurant noise fading into a muffled blur, your brain scrambling desperately to think of how to steer the conversation anywhere else before—

“Yeah, I guess.”

Megumi says it so nonchalantly, so effortlessly, that for a second, you think you imagined it.

Your head snaps toward him. He’s still calmly eating, tearing off a piece of chicken tender, unbothered, as if Yuuji hadn’t just dropped a grenade in the middle of dinner.

He… doesn’t care?

You feel like you’re about to combust, but Megumi—Megumi, who never talks about his father, who has never once asked, who you’ve spent years bracing yourself for questions from—just shrugs it off like it’s nothing.

You don’t know if you’re relieved or if it somehow makes the situation worse.

And then, because of course, of course, you make the mistake of looking up—

—only to lock eyes with Sukuna, who is watching the entire thing unfold with the most infuriating, knowing grin.

He doesn’t say anything, but the sharp shit eating smile on his stupid face says enough.

You swallow thickly, dragging your gaze away, forcing yourself to take a slow, steady breath. Megumi is fine. He’s not upset. There’s no need to react.

Even though every nerve in your body is screaming otherwise.

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At the gym, the rhythmic clank of metal echoes through the near-empty space, broken only by the occasional grunt of exertion. It’s just past five in the morning—an ungodly hour for most, but perfect for Toji.

No distractions. No waiting around for machines. Just him, the weight of the bar in his hands, and the steady burn in his muscles.

At least, that’s what he wants.

But Sukuna exists.

The sharp clang of the bar hitting the rack cuts through the quiet as Toji exhales, rolling out his shoulders before reaching for his water bottle. That’s when Sukuna, sprawled out on a neighboring machine like he owns the place, decides to run his mouth.

"You ever think about how you have a type?"

Toji pauses mid-sip, eyes narrowing. "Excuse me?"

Sukuna smirks, the kind that makes Toji immediately regret acknowledging him. "That girl you were with last night? She could’ve passed as Y/N’s sister."

The statement is so absurd that Toji almost laughs. Almost. Instead, he lets out a slow breath, shaking his head. "Didn’t do anything with her. Wasn’t with anybody."

"Sure, sure," Sukuna drawls, clearly entertained. "Just crazy how you only let chicks that look like Y/N within a ten-foot radius of you—"

"Sukuna," Toji grits out, reaching for the bar again, "it’s five in the goddamn morning. I’m finishing this rep and then I’m out."

Sukuna snorts but doesn’t push further. He just leans back, crossing his arms over his chest, watching like he knows exactly what he’s done.

Toji ignores him. He doesn’t have a type. That’s bullshit. And it’s not like he’s been chasing after anyone, anyway.

Not since you.

Sure, there were opportunities. A lingering glance, an open invitation, a number slipped into his palm—but none of it ever went anywhere.

He’d tell himself he wasn’t interested, that he didn’t have the patience for it, but deep down, he knew better. Nothing ever felt right. Not after your relationship.

Sukuna’s words settle in his mind, impossible to ignore.

With each rep, his thoughts betray him, dragging up images—snapshots of you. The way your voice used to sharpen when you were annoyed. The way you always had something quick and cutting to say back to him. The way you—

His grip tightens on the bar, jaw clenching.

And then, before he can stop himself, the words slip out—

"Why has everyone been bringing up Y/N lately?"

A pause.

A fraction too long.

Toji doesn’t miss it.

Sukuna covers it up well, tilting his head in mock confusion. "Just a coincidence, man. I dunno."

But Toji knows a bullshit answer when he hears one.

And it’s not just Sukuna.

It’s Suguru, stiff as a board at the bar the other night, suddenly quiet whenever Toji spoke. It’s Satoru, casually dropping that he saw a woman who looked just like you. It’s the little things, insignificant on their own, but when pieced together…

Something doesn’t sit right.

It’s not suspicion. Not yet.

But it lingers, an itch at the back of his mind.

And for the first time in a long time, Toji finds himself thinking about you longer than he should.

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Back at home, you sit in bed with your pajamas on, scrolling through your phone to try and distract yourself.

The soft glow from your bedside lamp casts a warm, golden hue over the cozy room, the faint scent of lavender lingers in the air from the candle you had blown out earlier, and the plush comforter is pulled up over your lap, cocooning you in warmth.

Behind you, a pile of pillows props you up against the headboard, their familiar softness a small comfort against the weight pressing down on your thoughts.

The room is quiet, save for the occasional hum of the air conditioner and the distant sound of cars passing outside.

Megumi is fast asleep after a long day of running around in the sun with his friend. A warm bubble bath and a home-cooked dinner had knocked him right out, and now he’s curled up in his own little bed, lost in whatever dreams a four-year-old has.

You, on the other hand, can’t sleep. Your heart is still racing, unsettled by the events of today.

You can’t stop replaying the moment Yuuji mentioned Toji—how Megumi had barely reacted. No curiosity, no interest, just a shrug, like the thought of his own father meant nothing to him. And that realization sits heavy in your chest.

Guilt.

Guilt gnaws at you—guilt that Megumi doesn’t even wonder about his father. Guilt that Toji hasn’t given him a reason to.

You exhale, your fingers pressing into your temple, trying to massage away the tension that’s been creeping up your neck all night. Just as you’re about to sink back into the quiet, the faint creak of your bedroom door cuts through the silence, making you glance up.

There, in the doorway, stands Megumi.

His small figure framed by the dim light spilling from the hall, his bright green eyes squinting sleepily as he stumbles toward you, his tiny feet padding softly against the floor.

Without a word, he climbs onto the bed, his movements sluggish and heavy with sleep.

His little body wiggles under the sheets until he's nestled beside you, looking almost comically small against the vast, cushioned expanse of your bed, the covers pooling around him like a blanket fort.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” you ask softly, brushing a hand through his tousled hair, your fingers lingering in the mess of it.

“I wanna sleep in your bed, Mama,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible, thick with sleep as he curls himself into the pillow, his small hands gripping it tightly. His face, so peaceful and innocent, presses into the soft fabric, making him look even cuter than he already is.

You can’t help but smile, warmth spreading through your chest as he shuffles even closer. The weight of him, the slow rise and fall of his breaths, lulls you into a sense of peace. Maybe now you can finally relax, let go of the thoughts spinning in your head.

But then, just as you start to relax, his small, unsteady voice breaks the calm.

“I think my dad is stupid.”

Your heart stops for a moment, the words hanging in the air like a sudden chill. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and instinctively, you sit up straighter, facing him fully now.

“Megumi?!” you exclaim softly, your eyes wide. “What did you just say?”

“Whoever my dad is, he’s a dummy,” he mumbles, his voice so matter-of-fact that it almost stings.

A rush of emotions floods you—confusion, concern, and something sharper that you can’t quite place.

“Megumi, what’s this all about?” you ask gently, trying to mask the tightness in your chest. “Don’t say such mean things.”

“A kid from class told me that since I don’t live with my dad, it means that he left us,” Megumi says quietly, curling into the pillow a little more, his tiny body pressed against yours. “So I think he’s a dummy.”

You search for the right words, but they feel impossible to find. What can you say? The kid wasn’t entirely wrong. Toji did leave you at least—he just didn’t realize he was walking away from Megumi as well.

You take a deep breath, ready to say something comforting, to try and ease the hurt in his little heart.

You want to tell him that Toji loved him, that even though things were messy, his father cared. But before you can get the words out, you feel the weight of Megumi's head settle further into your pillow. His small breaths are steady, slow, his tiny body already drifting back to sleep.

He murmurs again, barely audible. "Gnight Mama.”

You glance down at him, his eyelids fluttering as he drifts deeper into slumber, his hand still curled loosely around your wrist. You smile softly, a pang of something tender in your chest. It’s moments like this that remind you of how much he needed the quiet, the calm.

You don’t push him. You just let him be, letting the words hang in the space between you two, unsaid.

With a sigh, you reach over and switch off the bedside lamp, the room plunging into the soft embrace of darkness.

The only sound is the soft rustling of sheets as Megumi shuffles closer to you, his small body curling into yours with the kind of comfort only a child can seek. His little face nuzzles against your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

For a moment, you think you might finally find the sleep you’ve been chasing all night. But the stillness in the room only heightens the weight in your chest, the tightness of unanswered questions.

Your thoughts keep drifting to Toji—the way his absence hung between you, even now, even here.

You can’t help but wonder if he ever thought about your failed relationship, if he ever truly understood what he’d left behind. Maybe not just you, but him—Megumi, the child who would never ask for a father but still had a place for one.

You try to push it out of your mind, focusing on the warm weight of Megumi against you, but it lingers.

You close your eyes, but sleep remains just out of reach.

[soulsvn]

Texts with the Fushiguro boys

[ jjk modern smau ] even if megumi’s not your biological son, you treat him as one. ♡

sfw, fluff (⁠/⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠(⁠^⁠ ⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠/

LONG TIME NO POST. HAD A BUSY WEEK UUGH. Let me know how you guys think ab this smau! Thank u! <3

[soulsvn]

Pour it Up Masterlist / Stripclub Owner Sukuna headcanons

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

Pairings: Stripclub Owner Sukuna x Stripper F!reader

Summary:- You are a single mother, your baby daddy is not just worthless, he also is actively trying to sabotoge you, so you go out on your own and raise your kid by yourself. Struggling your ass off, a friend of a friend named Toji decides to offer you a hell of a deal, a few hours a night at a strip club to make BANK. While there, you meet the other owner, Sukuna, and the moment he sees you? You annoy him how beautiful you are, how much he wants you, pushing him to insanity. He knows he must have you- no matter whose ass he needs to beat.

Warnings:- reader is a mom, lowkey/highkey Yandere Sukuna behavior (He's obsessed) recreational drug use, drug dealing Sukuna (the club lowkey a front lol) Mafia ties, EXPLICIT sexual content, blow jobs, cunnilingus, fingering, masturbation, teasing and eventually violence, some former trauma of reader.

WC so far- 26k - ao3 link here

Headcanons/story preview below!

Stripclub Owner Sukuna- who loves what he does, the money he makes, the women, the entire atmosphere. What more could he really need in life?

Stripclub Owner Sukuna lights up a blunt with his co owner, Toji, as they lounge back on one of the bright red Sofa's, watching their girls dance around them while they hold business meetings. Sukuna certainly doesn't mind beautiful women, nor does he mind snorting coke right off them.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna throws back a shot, when suddenly he sees someone so different, so fucking pretty it makes his heart thud in his chest. He can barely stop himself from yanking you right away from this. He's slicking back pastel hair when Toji introduces you so casually, wearing a pretty silver bikini that shows too much of your sexy body. You look shy? You look nervous?

Stripclub Owner Sukuna takes your hand then, smirking at you, watching the blush decorate your cheeks, when he finds you're going to be a dancer, he immediately wants to say no, dance for just him, a level of possession he's never even felt with his girlfriends. Sukuna's shared plenty of women, but if he got you!?

Stripclub Owner Sukuna smacks Toji for even bringing you here later, and Toji scoffs. 'She has a kid and shit, she'll make top dollar here' Sukuna falters at such news. 'Don't ya think she'll make bank?' 'Tch, of course she will... it's just she's so...' Toji snorts. 'you got the hots for her, huh? Well she ain't some easy girl, I know her'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna knows he must have you, when you're stepping around the stage, and he's eyeing you, sitting right in front of the stage as you get on your knees, crawling toward him and smiling shyly. 'how're you a shy stripper, huh? not gonna work' he huffs, and you tilt your head, hand slipping down his tie. 'No allure in a shy dancer, Mr. Sukuna?'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna loses his mind when he hears his name spilled from your glossy lips, as he thinks of shoving his cock deep inside that mouth, so close to his when you turn. You bend over, ass right in the air, begging for a smack as you look back at him, hair falling over your face. 'Why're you here?' he demands, eyeing the curve of your back, cock hard like he's some pathetic teenager or something.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna tenses when you say - 'I need the money, isn't it why everyone does this?' 'Toji says you got a kid' you tense then, turning toward him nervously, as the stagelights glimmer all over your skin. 'That a problem?' Sukuna shakes his head. "Nah, lots of girls here do...' You exhale. 'I'm a single mom, my friend can watch her at night, why not work while she's asleep? I can spend my time with her'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna admires the fuck out of you as you dance your pretty ass off, but he hates the men that see you, see you in just your little bottoms and tassells, breasts bouncing, ass jiggling as you shake it, as you move. You're a whole star quickly, the few hours a night you come in you make bank, but as soon as you leave, he's in his office, jerking it to you, imagining those nipples, that pussy he sees hints of with your spandex panties.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna On one particular night forgets to lock the door, you're still out there dancing but he can't take it, you're too fucking sexy, he's picturing burying his face in that nice ass of yours as you step inside, shutting the door quickly when you see it, his enormous dick in his hands, covered in precum. You gasp, looking away quickly. 'shit I'm sorry, it's my ex... he's such an ass and I didn't want him to see me...'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna pauses, in shock as you look back down at him, licking your lower lip. 'I'm interrupting...' you come closer though, watching, breath catching in your throat. 'Want me to beat him the fuck up? ruin him?' Sukuna murmurs, voice husky, when you keep walking towards him, and he slowly strokes, from the base to the tip of his veiny length, acting so casual. 'No, you don't have to do all that, you're already so good to me' he laughs then, shaking his head. 'You are, maybe I should... be good to you?'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna can't form a thought when you're stroking his cock, leaning so close, lips just a breath from his, taking two of his fingers and sucking his precum off them, cheeks hollowing. Sukuna loses his control then, using those two fingers to slip so deep you cry out, earning his groan, uncaring if anyone heard. He's curling them up in your walls as you stroke, his eyes laser focused on your pretty face when he grips your hair by the nape of your neck. 'wanna suck me, huh brat?' he tries to keep it together, but when you nod eagerly, on your knees, he can't take how good your throat feels.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna has his cock fucking up into your throat, his salty precum against your tongue, and he wonders if it's some dream it has to be, you're too fucking beautiful to just be doing this, you shouldn't even be working, he thinks. He'd like you just naked around his house, to fuck you on every surface, fill you up with so many kids you'd never leave. Sukuna is groaning while you suck him greedily, looking up at him with dilated, beautiful eyes, making him simultaneously want to fuck you and want to make love to you, stupid insane shit that irritates him.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna stutters when you suck harder, and he's cumming deep in your throat, not meaning to. No he wants to fuck your pussy, not this, but you make him cum so fast it's stupid, swallowing him with a pretty smile, as you lean up on shaky legs. He presses a kiss to your lips, desperate and messy, tasting all of his cum all over your mouth. You're gasping, until the door opens, and you pull apart, seeing an amused Toji. You are losing your mind later as you clean up to go home, wondering what's gotten ahold of you, when Sukuna is waiting right outside.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna loves it when you look down so shy and pretty, you're biting your lower lip to death, he releases it from the grip of your teeth. 'you free tonight, brat?' you blink in confusion. 'you want...' 'want you at my place, spread wide f'me, yeah?' you gasp at the thought, shaking your head then. 'I'm not, I have to get home to my kid... but tomorrow night?' he nods, ushering you to your shitty car, picturing you in something so much better soon, leaning over with a smirk as he seatbelts you in.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna now that he's had a taste, he can't stop thinking of you, when you're at work the next day you're quickly in his office again, this time he's got you grinding on his lap, slick arousal pooling in your little outfit. 'I'll fuckin pay you triple, take the day off' "Mr. Sukuna...' 'Take. The. Day. Off.' Sukuna finally gets you home, having you bent over his couch before you can blink, ripping your pretty costume to shreds, pumping you so full of his cock you're trembling, shaking, head falling back as he fills you so good, slamming your cervix.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna has never felt anything like you, like your cunt pulsing around his cock, like his balls slapping your twitchy little clit, as you're sobbing it hurts so good, tears streaming down your pretty face while he rails his cock so deep. Sukuna busts deep in you as he wraps a big hand around your throat, fucking into you over and over, feeling you milk his cock for all he's got. 'Gonna fill you the fuck up, huh brat? gonna drip on the goddamn stage'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna has your pussy on his mouth when he's busted in you, starting to lap all the gooey white cum from your pretty pussy. 'Sukuna! ah!' you've never felt like this, so fucked out as his tongue scoops all your cum out, he's leaning over you, spitting it right into your mouth, chuckling. 'pathetic, just how I fuckin need you'

Stripclub Owner Sukuna is pathetic for you, he doesn't let you leave, he pays you for another day, fucking you in every position, at some point he's holding you upside down, you're bobbing on his cock as he's gripping your ass, moaning against your hole, you're falling apart, so weak and sore. when you finally have to go home, because you have your kid, Sukuna can't stop thinking about you, about how he wants you to have his babies, to be under him every goddamn night, so excited when you come into work, only to see you devastated.

Stripclub Owner Sukuna demands to know what's wrong, only to see your shady ass ex, who wants to saunter up to him like he's shit, you shake your head, but soon Sukuna is beating the fuck out of him. 'you have no clue who he is, Mr. Sukuna...' you tell him then, earning Sukuna's chuckle, his big grin. 'You don't know who I am, baby'

Soooo this is a tease of a full fic- Pour it up

permatags- @alt--er--love @seeing-stars-alt @nanasukii28 @labelt-san @makingtimemine @cuntphoric @n1vi @aldebrana @indiewritesxoxo @loafteaw @moonlitwitchdaisy - also taggingggg- @naammiii @msniks @1worm1 <3

[soulsvn]

Desiderium - Chapter 1

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu X Female Reader X Satoru Gojo Genre: Reincarnation AU, Marriage AU, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn Summary: Set in Tokyo, Japan, you and Yuuta were past lovers separated by the cruel hands of fate. That same fate brought you to him again a century later, but while you hold no memories of him or the beautiful life you had shared with him in the past, Yuuta remembers everything. He's waited forever to see you again, yearning for your love, not knowing that you already belong to someone else. Word Count: 15K+ Content Warnings: None for this one, but there will be plenty of smutty scenes starting from chapter 4. Notes: Yuuta, Reader, and Satoru are the same age, all in their late twenties. Satoru has his Hidden Inventory personality here, so he might come off as brash and slightly immature. Reader doesn't have a name but is written with she/her pronouns. She has no physical description other than she has hair long enough to be tied up. She does have her own hobbies and personality traits, all necessary for the plot.

New chapter will be posted every 1-2 weeks. Read it on AO3 here.

Written as a birthday gift for my wife Aleks @princess-okkotsu Art drawn by @alwhmd_ on Twitter (commission)

Yuuta Okkotsu is a mystery, and at this moment, as she meets him for the first time in a room filled with papers and ink and comforting silence, he intrigues her more than any lines in her favorite poetry. 

It’s not love at first sight, of that she is sure. She’s experienced that many years ago, or so she believes, with Satoru—the lover with whom she’s shared frantic kisses and burning touches in the last six years. It doesn’t feel the same with Yuuta right now, not quite. It is something more intense, something she cannot yet fathom, something she wishes she understood.

The second their eyes are locked on each other, it’s like she’s electrocuted, her body freezing at the sensation. 

“Oh, sorry,” she says, her voice sounding like she hasn’t spoken in years. A tiny red spot begins to form on his pale skin, where his chin made contact with her head earlier. “I was reaching out for a book. I didn’t see you there.”

The man, young enough to be around her age with a gaze softer than most, has an expression of a heartbroken man. He looks at her, pain fleeting across his face. 

His eyes… They remind her of the ocean before the storm. 

It’s not the color as they resemble more of a sapphire, like the freshly bloomed delphiniums after the rain. No, it’s the feeling, the way they glimmer under the soft evening light, calm and steady, but in a way, it emits sadness. Yearning. Heartbreak. The kind that makes him feel like he had been crushed, trapped inside a hurricane for so long, he was about to fade into the void. But there’s also hope beneath it, as if he was desperately looking for something, and he’s just a moment away from attaining it. Something tugs upon her heartstrings as he peers into her eyes, full of depths and secrets she longs to unveil. 

He looks like he’s about to cry, she thinks. There are no tears in sight, no quiver in his lips, and yet, to her…

“Are you… all right?” 

The man smiles ever so softly at her question, seemingly too kind to be genuinely coming from the heart, but she believes it. The quiet agony in his eyes has not yet dissipated, but he grows excellent at wearing his mask. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” His voice is rich and soft, breathy and tender when he speaks. “Are you?”

“Not my first time accidentally hitting someone from not paying attention to my surroundings, so yes,” she chuckles. Her pretty sounds stun him. The yearning he’s been trying to conceal shows vividly for a split second. It leaves her confused, worried that he got upset by her actions. “Again, sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologize. It was my fault. I should’ve kept my distance.”

She’s sure her eyes have never met him. Her mind doesn’t remember him. Her ears don’t recognize his voice, but she swears she’s seen him before, so much that it feels like he becomes gravity, drawing her to him.

She wants to reach out to him. Wants to know why he looks like he’s seconds away from breaking apart. Wants to ask him whether she’s said too much or too little. But he’s nothing but a stranger, and she doesn’t wish to step out of the line. “Were you also looking for a book?”

“Yes, umm…” He’s tall, taller than she’d expect someone who exudes such awkwardness would be. Compared to other men, he has a youthful look, but she has a hunch that he’s around her age, most likely in his late twenties. He points his finger toward a book on the shelf beside her. “That one.”

She follows his direction, smiling when she reads the title on its spine. “No wonder we bumped heads. I was aiming for the same book.”

“Oh, then, it’s fine,” he hurriedly says, pushing the book back toward her when she tries to hand it over. “You can take it.”

“No, please, go ahead. I’ve read this too many times already.”

“Me too, so—”

“I insist.” She presses the book to his chest, looking up at him. 

He looms before her, standing possibly over 180 centimeters tall that she has to tilt her head up to match his line of vision. She catches a whiff of his scent, the smell of soap and aftershave, thinly layered by cologne. Modest, pleasant, just like him as a whole. 

Despite the slight dark circles swelling under his eyes, he’s a handsome man with a face framed by strong jawlines, a sharp nose, and thick, silky black hair parted on the side. The ends of his strands were long enough to brush against the collar of his ivory turtle neck sweater. His brown coat compliments his pallid skin perfectly, and she can’t help but wonder whether his shoulders are just as broad underneath it. An argent necklace with a ring as his pendant dangles just a few inches above his heart, glinting in the same way as his silver watch under the fluorescent light of the room. When his lips curve up, his eyes do the opposite, drooping in a way that makes him seem younger, which leaves her confused as he also gives off the feeling that he might be older than he appears. 

What a beautiful person, a thought runs through her mind, one that she hastily dismisses before it reaches her tongue. “Take it as a form of my apology for bruising your chin,” she says with a slight grin.

His eyes widen just for a split second before a soft chuckle reverberates from his chest. When he speaks again, it’s almost like a whisper—like a secret never meant to be told, “I can never win against you, can I?”

She barely catches his words. “Sorry, what?”

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, tucking his chin to hide his eyes. “I, uhh… I was about to borrow this and grab some coffee. Would you care to join me? I’d love to talk to you more.” His body language indicates that he’s nervous, which she admits is endearing. There’s a momentary pause where she finds herself too busy marveling over his features, but he misunderstands. “I’m—I’m not a pervert or anything like that, I swear! I won’t do anything bad to you.”

She almost laughs. Who talks like that? “That sounds exactly like what a pervert would say.”

He gapes, face flushed. “No, I—” She loves seeing him struggle, so she lets him take his time, just watching him with amusement. He takes a breath, probably trying his best to slow down his soaring heart. “It’s just—it’s hard to find someone with a similar taste like mine and I, umm… I’d like to know you—I-I mean your taste in books—better.”

Usually, she’s not as gullible as to agree to a stranger’s offer, but meeting him somehow feels like reuniting with an old friend. It’s easier to trust him than to be suspicious of him. She wonders if it’s simply because of how affable he seems despite his awkwardness.

Her heart convulses. She knows how grabbing some coffee together tends to lead to something more, and seeing how shy and flustered he is standing in front of her, she’s sure he wants it to lead to something more. Her boyfriend’s name pops into her head, but her lips betray her before her brain can form a warning. “Sure, why not? Let’s prove my guts wrong,” she answers with a slight curve of her lips. “As long as you can tell me your name, that is.”

“Right, sorry.” She loves the sound he makes when he sheepishly chuckles, and she loves it more when it echoes louder in her ears. He offers his hand, stretching out his lean fingers. “I’m Yuuta.”

She expects it to be soft, just like the way he’s gazing at her, but his palm feels calloused against her own. “Yuuta…?”

“O-Okkotsu,” he finishes awkwardly as if he hadn’t spoken his surname in so long that he’d forgotten it.

“Pleasure to meet you, Yuuta Okkotsu.” When she replies to him with her name, he freezes, his eyes widening, shaking in disbelief.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he answers, his expression melting into something warm, full of nostalgia. “It’s just... Your name sounds familiar to me.” She arches a brow, but he leaves her with no time to speak her curiosity. 

Calling her respectfully by her surname, he flashes a smile. “Shall we?” ***

Winter comes with a blush of the autumn time, ready to charm her soul and win her heart all over again, the way it always has since the first time she could remember cotton-like ice crystals falling gently across her window. The days, though shorter, remain clear and dry, as if they were already warmed by a sweet breath of spring even when the year has just begun. To her regret, the snow has yet refused to fall, but the way the city of Tokyo glows at night, with fairy lights wrapped around tree-lined streets, serves as a nice consolation.

 Stepping outside the library, she gazes toward the sky, expecting to be greeted by a blue evening sun, as if the rays would somehow be colder in these icy days, but, of course, it stays golden, divinely warm upon her chilled skin.

“Are you cold?” Yuuta questions as he watches puffs of her warm breaths lingering in the air. “Would you like my coat?”

“No, I’m fine.” All thanks to her wooly sweater. “That’s so nice of you, though. Offering a stranger your coat like that.” And honestly weird because who does that on a first meeting? She mulls to herself, though the thought doesn’t bother her as much as it should.

“I just…” Every time the word ’stranger’ comes flowing past her lips, it seems to hurt him somehow. “I thought you might need it.”

He’s being genuine, she can tell. The same way she can see just how red his cheeks are with the breeze biting too deeply into his skin. “I honestly think you need your coat more than me.”

“Ah,” he chuckles timidly. “Yeah, I’m not really good with cold weather.”

The thought of him all bundled up, sniffling from the wintry winds, enters her mind, making him look so adorable in her eyes. “We should hurry and get all warmed up then.”

They walk side by side, exchanging small conversations as they go. “Is winter your favorite season?” he asks.

“It is. I think it’s pretty. And it gives me the excuses I need to spend the whole day just keeping myself warm and cozy at the library, reading my favorite books. What about you? I suppose you hate it, huh?” 

“I don’t hate it.”

“You don’t? Even though you look like you’re about to freeze to death?”

He laughs softly to appreciate her jest. “No,” he smiles to himself. “I think I might have disliked it in the past, but my—” He stops, clearing his throat. “A friend of mine used to love it so much, so… I’ve grown to like it since then.” 

He said it like it was a secret he tried to repress, someone more meaningful than a friend. Her gaze drifts down to the silver ring hanging over his sweater. That looks like a wedding ring, she thinks, but it would’ve been weird, wouldn’t it? Let’s say he was indeed married; would he flirt with another woman while displaying his ring like this? Maybe he’s divorced? But why is he still wearing it? The thoughts swirl, but she keeps them solely in her mind. ***

Walking from the library to the nearest coffee shop only takes around ten minutes. By then, she’s caught on the little gestures Yuuta makes as he speaks: the way he forces himself to laugh a little when he notices he’s being too straightforward; the way he clears his throat when he feels like his words have more hidden meanings than they let on. She’s become aware of his passion and love for books, so strong that it can only be matched by her own. She’s learned about his dream, a novelist in the making, taking his first baby steps to turn it into reality.

“There’s the one,” she says, pointing a finger to a small yet cozy coffee shop on the corner of the main street, still a few meters ahead. “I don’t drink coffee but often drop by to get matcha lattes before work. They’re amazing.”

“You don’t drink coffee?” Despite his question, he doesn’t appear to be surprised by the fact. It was as if he already guessed it.

“Yeah, umm—” She loosens the collar of her sweater, her body heating up as embarrassment grows. I’d rather die than tell him that coffee upsets my stomach. “You know, the caffeine keeps me awake.”  

“Ah, yes. Of course.” 

It’s probably just her fear and shame playing tricks on her mind, but she swears she sees a little knowing smile forming on his lips. She refuses to acknowledge it for the sake of her heart.

“Oh, hold on.” Yuuta suddenly quickens, taking a couple of strides ahead of her. He pulls on the doorknob, holding the door open. Any other man would do it to leave a good impression. Yuuta does it because he’s raised to do so, a gentleman to his core.

“Thanks,” her sheepish smile causes joy to bloom like roses on his face. 

They step inside the shop, instantly surrounded by wafts of the warm, welcoming blend of coffee beans and caramel. A young female performs a love song on the stage with a pink acoustic guitar perched on her lap, a shade that matches her cotton candy hair. The queue of people desperately needing warm coffees in the chilly evening is longer than she expected. She doesn’t find the heart to change places, however, knowing how Yuuta has been secretly hiding his face behind his scarf, seeking warmth whenever he thought she wasn’t looking (she caught him in the act every time but kept quiet about it for his sake). 

Maybe it’s better if we stay. “Do you mind if we wait in line for a bit?”

“Not at all,” he replies.

 And so they wait, standing side by side, trading secret glances and diffident smiles. 

A staff slides open the display shelf beside her, placing a fresh batch of chocolate pastries and strawberry cakes under the fluorescent light. Saliva pools in her mouth almost immediately. The savory cream, the strawberry fillings in between layers, and—

“You can go ahead and take a seat if you want,” Yuuta offers, swaying her away from her stupor. “I’ll place an order for us.”

“Huh? Oh, no, I can wait here with you. It’s fine.”

“It’s still gonna take a while.” He briefly looks at the six people ahead of them, worried. “You sure?”

She skims through her options quickly. An open spot in the corner would be perfect for them to talk, a safe distance from the live music playing on the stage and the gossiping crowd. “But I’d feel bad,” she speaks her concerns.

“This is nothing,” he assures. “What would you like to have? I know you’re fond of their matcha lattes, but I saw the board, and it says it’s not available right now.”

“What?” She takes a quick view of the handwritten menu on the blackboard. “Oh, you’re right,” she mumbles regretfully, noticing that even a simple matcha tea is crossed out. Great, what should I get? Will I look childish if I ask for hot cocoa with s’mores? Yeah, probably. “What are you getting?”

“Black coffee.”

And, of course, he had to be an adult and choose that, she nearly pouts. Now, I’m definitely going to sound like a kid.

“What about hot chocolate?” he suggests. When she reciprocates with a frown, surprised at how easily he reads her mind, Yuuta quickly adds, “Sorry, it’s just… You look like you have a sweet tooth.”

“Excuse me?”

“I—I saw you staring at the cakes before, so, umm… Sorry if I jumped to conclusions.”

“Oh, wow, that’s embarrassing,” she forces out a faint laugh to mask her shame. “You caught me drooling.”

“No—it’s cute, really!” It’s even more mortifying now that he’s trying to comfort her about it. “I like cakes too. Chocolate ones, mostly. But also the strawberry ones, they’ve been growing on me lately—” he abruptly stops. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. God, I’m sorry.”

She watches him turn flustered, just for a second before she fails to suppress her giggles from escaping. “You caught me drooling, and now you’re panicking about oversharing. We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we?” 

The string of her adorable peals of laughter causes his gaze to soften, his eyes turning melancholic as if he were witnessing a memory unveiled before him. She notices him staring—adoring, really, like it’s a habit of hers he’s grown to love for years. Such a weird thing for a stranger to do. 

“You haven’t changed at all,” he says under his breath, or at least she thinks so. She must have heard it wrong.

“All right,” she says, straightening down her sweater. “I’m going to be useful and find ourselves a table before I further make a fool out of myself. I’ll have a slice of that strawberry cake, please.”

“Noted. And your drink?”

“I’ll have what you have.”

“Coffee? But—”

She strides away before he can finish. 

Leaving him standing on the line, she catches him shaking his head from the corner of her eyes, chuckling to himself.

Yuuta arrives at her table a moment later, carrying a tray filled with their orders. “Sorry for making you wait.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” she says, proffering her gratitude with a smile. “Alone.”

“It’s fine,” he mirrors her expression. “Here’s your order.”

“What is this?” She questions as he places down a plate filled with strawberry cake—two slices, with extra frosting and fresh strawberries on top. “Are you trying to make me fat?”

He laughs, his hands busy settling the cups on the wooden table. “I thought you might be hungry after all the waiting.”

“It literally was only fifteen minutes.”

“Well, then, maybe we can share?” he asks, slightly hopeful, before his shyness gets the best of him again. “O-only if you’re comfortable.”

“Please, I’d love to—” She stops, noticing the two cups of hot chocolate—with s’mores—sitting between them. “Wait.”

“Oh, umm,” Yuuta straightens himself on his seat; his posture reminds her of an employee preparing himself to be scolded by the chief. “You said you’ll have what I have, so I got you the same one.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you say you were gonna have black coffee?”

“Did I?” He does it again, emitting that unique laugh of his to hide his discomfort. “Well, uhh, caffeine keeps me awake, so… I changed my mind.”

She squinted her eyes. “You’re actually a lot cheekier than you look, aren’t you?”

He sweats, hastily taking a sip of his drink. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

It’s her turn to shake her head this time, all in amusement. “Well, thank you. For being so considerate.”

With a juvenile glee, he replies, “Don’t mention it.” ***

“Have you thought about what kind of story you plan to write?” She asks as she slides her cup closer to her side. Now that she’s finished tasting some of the s’mores with her spoon, a lovely shade of cocoa shimmers inside, glazed with foam and melted marshmallows. “Is it porn?”

Yuuta chokes on his drink, spilling a bit of chocolate down his chin. 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” She promptly snatches some tissues for him, almost dabbing his mouth herself as some of it threatens to spill onto his shirt. Thank goodness he managed to wipe it off just in time. 

“It’s not porn,” he coughs out, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Yeah, no, of course. I was just kidding.” She checks on him, her forehead creasing with concern. “Are you okay? Did some of it get into your nose?”

“I’m fine,” he sniffles, trying his best to smile without wincing.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry. You’re just so stiff; I thought I’d ease you up with a joke.” She half-grimaces, half-grins at him. “Guess it’s working?”

“Guess it is. A little.” When he chuckles, she feels an inkling of joy. It doesn’t take long before Yuuta’s little laughter becomes one of her favorite sounds in the world. “Sorry for being so jumpy all the time. Old habit.”

“Not used to talking to strangers?”

“Not like this, no. You’re my first.”

Something warm and pleasant grows inside her chest, but she chooses to ignore it. “Well, consider me honored. So,” she sips her drink, “Your story?”

“Oh, uhh… I plan to write a romance novel.” 

“Romance? That’s surprising.”

“How so?” 

“Hmm, not sure why, but I see you more as someone who writes crime stories. You know, writing from experience, that sort of thing.”

He pouts. It’s adorable. “Because of the way I behave?”

“Because of the way you behave.” She returns to another good-natured chaff. “Also, because you seem… I don’t know, there’s something strange about you.”

Yuuta falls into silence, just for a moment. A reaction she didn’t see coming. “Strange how?”

“Like…” She peers into his eyes, and there it is again. The way he stares at her. The way he tends to express pensive sadness as if he’s been trying to convey something to her—something really important—but she’s not listening. He doesn’t seem suspicious to her, not in the slightest. But he gives her the same feeling she feels when she encounters a mystery in the book, one that she can’t wait to be resolved at the end of the story. Why do you seem so familiar? She ponders before she shakes the thoughts away. “I can’t point my finger at it just yet.” 

His shoulders sag. For some reason, her answer disappoints him. 

She straightens up on her seat, her lips tilting up on their own to cheer him up. “Perhaps I’ll figure it out once we finish our drinks.”

Yuuta smiles, too, but it lacks the same warmth. There’s something he’s not telling. “I hope so,” he says. If there was a hidden message beneath it, she missed it.

Feeling a tad awkward, she taps her fingers against the sides of her cup. “So, a romance novel, huh? I never would’ve pegged you as a romantic if you didn’t tell me.” 

Anything that he wants to say, he swallows it all down to himself. “Well, it’s supposed to be more than just a romance story. It has a supernatural element to it. Borderline fantasy.”

“Like what?”

He takes a few seconds before he responds quietly with a secretive smile. “I guess you’ll just have to read to find out.”

“Cheapskate.” She purses your lips. “Is it going to have a happy ending?”

“Well, they’ll be separated by death in the end—”

“Hey! Spoiler alert!”

He cringes, “Sorry.” 

“I can’t believe you said, ’You’ll just have to read to find out,’ and then dropped this bomb on me.”

Yuuta chortles, very light, very charming. “I just wanted to make it sound interesting, I guess. I thought you’d do well with sad stories.”

“Well, yes, angst is my cup of tea. It wasn’t before, but I read this heartwrenching book once, and it’s been growing on me ever since.” She then notices something. “That’s a good guess, though.” She throws a joke, “Were you able to tell because I have this constant miserable look on my face—”

“You’re beautiful.” 

She freezes. His line comes out so suddenly, true, but it doesn’t stagger her as much as the way he speaks it. He says it not as a compliment but as the truth. He conveys it so smoothly, but not because he’s used to flirting. His eyes still shake as they stare at her. The slight crack in his voice is one of the tiny proofs of how nervous he is around her. And yet, these words sound so natural in her ears, as if he’d said that to her a thousand times before. 

And it feels like she’s heard it. A thousand times before.

“I… Sorry.” He settles himself on his seat, his cheek blossoming in red when he scratches it with his finger. “I didn’t mean to cut you off. It’s just… You don’t look miserable or anything, you’re… You’re gorgeous.” He can’t meet her gaze. She’s the blazing sun, and he’s a man who’s never stepped out during daylight. “Ah, what am I saying,” he mumbles, only for his ears to hear. She can tell he wishes his seat could swallow him whole. He’s embarrassed, terribly so, that he practically has one hand covering his face. 

“Umm… Thanks.” That’s all she can say because how else could she answer him when he acts like he just made a love confession? Trying to keep it light, she adds, “You’re giving out that suspicious vibe again.”

He claws against his jean-clad thighs, feeling even smaller. “S-sorry…”

“I’m kidding!” She exclaims, flashing her biggest smile. “I appreciate the compliment, truly. Thank you, Yuuta.”

He stops breathing at the sound of his name escaping her mouth. She realizes it’s the first time she’s said it, and seeing how his shoulders turn tense, she begins to worry. “Sorry, I accidentally called you by your first name. I hope that’s not rude?”

“N-no, it’s all right,” he says, pink flames bursting in his cheeks again. He fiddles with his fingers, bashfully adding, “I… actually prefer you call me that way.”

“Oh…” There’s probably no limit to how adorable he can be. “Well then, you can call me by my first name, too.”

The way joy sparks instantly in his eyes is blatant proof that he’s been waiting for the chance, but he shakes his head, too shy to take it. “No, I… I shouldn’t.”

His choice of words leaves her puzzling over it. Not can’t. Shouldn’t. He’s not shy. He’s refraining himself. But for what? “And if I insist?” She asks.

He nibbles on his lower lip, avoiding her gaze, and maybe he’ll do it, just for her sake, but it won’t feel right, will it? 

“Never mind, it’s fine,” she comforts him. “You can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind.”

Yuuta seems relieved, thanking her in silence with little nods.

“So, what happened to them? The lovers in your story.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to spoil it.”

“You can’t just say something like they’re dying and then not tell me about it.”

He awkwardly laughs. “If you insist, I can give you a hint later, but you’ll have to imagine the rest.”

“Then tell you about it? What if you steal my idea?” She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “I happen to have a very creative imagination, you see.”

“I promise you I won’t,” he answers so thoughtfully that she almost feels sorry for teasing him. “I’ve finished writing my version of it. I’ll let you see it after you tell me yours.”

“Huh, interesting.” She pretends she’s rethinking her decision, just to get him a little hopeful and nervous about it. “Deal, why not.”

His eyes are filled with excitement. “Does that mean we’ll see each other again?”

She wants to poke fun at him again by saying ’maybe,’ but Yuuta resembles an overjoyed puppy waiting for a stroll. She doesn’t have the heart to do it. “Well, I do have to go back to the library to return the book, so… Yes.” 

His lips parted in the brightest smile, his eyes glimmering in delight. “Then, next week. I’ll see you again next week. Same time?”

Like a disease, his glee is contagious, sending ripples of joy inside her. “All right. But be sure to keep your chin away from my head next time.”

He titters, “I’ll try.”

They exchange stares, sharing sheepish smiles. She breaks away first, bringing her focus back to her drink. It has grown slightly cold over the passing minutes, but the sugary taste has become quite an addiction.

“I’ve never seen you in the library before,” Yuuta mentions. “Was today your first time visiting?”

“No. I’ve been going there almost every day for the last month, but I usually visit in the morning. I just moved to a new company, you see, and my office building is nearby. I walk past the library every day, and since my shift starts late, I often drop by before work to read for an hour or two. My apartment is pretty small, so it feels a bit cramped. That’s why I enjoy spending more time outside.”

“You’re spending your weekends in the library too?” He wonders aloud.

She playfully narrows her eyes at him. “Why does it feel like I’m being judged here?”

“No!” He panics. “I just thought that—that you’d have friends inviting you out or, y-you know.”

“Well, I’m not really one to party,” she chuckles to ease his anxiety. “I don’t do well with crowds. It feels better to have a one-on-one conversation like this. More meaningful.” 

He’s a mystery, but in some ways, he’s also an open book. Every time her word delights him, it shows. “Me too.”

She smiles, but it slowly drops as she swirls her spoon, watching the little whirlpool she creates inside the cup. “But it’s also because… Well, I can’t read at home.”

“May I ask why?” 

“I have a boyfriend who works from home, so he’s always there with me.”

Yuuta’s fingers stop tapping against the surface of the coffee table but it’s too fast for her to notice before he starts again. “I see,” he replies. The smile on his lips never falters; the one in his eyes does. “Is he a lively person?”

“Very,” she sighs. “And loud. It’s hard to focus on your book when you have a grown man either swearing at his computer screen for probably twelve hours a day or snoring throughout the morning like he wants the whole town to hear it.” She catches herself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to vent. He’s nice, I care about him a lot, it’s just… I need some time for myself. Somewhere quiet.”

It doesn’t last long, but she senses it, the changes in his expression. It feels like she just said something terribly hurtful to the point that she feels like apologizing for it.

Maybe he notices her noticing, which is why he tries to mask his feelings better with a broader smile that does reach his eyes this time. “And that’s why you chose to visit a library.”

“Yeah. I mean, I could go to a book cafe, but…” She shrugs. “I don’t really like it. Too modern, too… many people just taking selfies instead of actually reading, you know?” 

That earns her a chuckle. “But why here, specifically? There are many new ones in town. Bigger ones, too. This place is pretty old and dusty.”

“Can’t argue with that,” she nods, sighing. “This is going to sound dumb, but that library feels nostalgic to me. The first time I stepped inside, I felt like I’d spent all my life there. It was like I had memories there—just sitting on that old couch, reading books, enjoying the silence. It just feels familiar, you know? Even more comforting than being in my room. It’s weird, but I can only feel at ease when I read there.” Yuuta stays so quiet that she has to lift her head and meet his gaze to understand a glimpse of what goes through his head. His face is solemn, undecipherable. “What about you? What’s your reason, Yuuta?”

He drags his eyes away from hers, fixing them on the interlaced fingers around his cup. The light in his eyes slightly dims as he turns pensive. 

“It’s just closer to my place.”

***

“Hey, Bunny,” her boyfriend of six years, Satoru Gojo, chirps from the bedroom. It’s not so much of a warm greeting, not anymore, not like how it used to be. The pet name he calls her now feels just like another word. All the fluttering butterflies in her stomach seem to have died, along with his welcome home hugs and I’ve missed you kisses. 

Judging from his voice, he must have a cherry lollipop stuck in his mouth, another replacement for his cigarette. He used to be addicted to it back in college, influenced by his best friends—Suguru and Shoko. His room smelled like one whenever she visited it for… well, a ’study date’ he used to call it. She had asked him to stop smoking countless times in the past and nagged about it for two years as she grew worried over his health, but each complaint fell on deaf ears. Satoru only stopped a couple of months ago, breaking the news to her with a grin, saying, “I did this for you, babe. Aren’t you proud of me?” And she smiled at him, she always did, even as she stared at Suguru’s face among the pictures he had on his nightstand, reminded of the truth. Satoru didn’t do it because of her, and he most certainly didn’t do it for her. He just didn’t want to end up collapsing from heart disease like Suguru did. That’s all there is. And that got her thinking. 

When was the last time her boyfriend did something for her? Or listened to her? Or noticed something different about her hair or the new dress she wore? 

She styled her hair for him. She bought a new toothbrush before he asked for his to be replaced. She decorated her apartment in his favorite color on the day he moved in, eagerly wanting to make him feel comfortable, but every piece of furniture and accessories he bought after always had the same shade. He thought it was her favorite color, too. He never asked, just assumed, which summed up her entire relationship with him. 

It never occurred to him that she did everything for his sake, for his pleasure, for his happiness, because he never thought of doing something solely for her sake. Satoru was always about me and us, but never you. “This color is nice, isn’t it, babe?” It wasn’t, but she smiled again, never letting him know that his favorite color was the color she hated the most.

But maybe it’s just her fault. 

Maybe she’s put herself in this situation for not being honest, for always keeping her thoughts to herself, for always agreeing with him instead of saying what she wants. It’s just… She’s tired. Tired of fighting over minor differences,  tired of worrying that her protest would lead to a bigger fight, one that would drain them emotionally and damage their relationship for good. But she couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if he were, at least, considerate enough to ask. 

Back when they first dated, Satoru was everything she could ask for. He knew how to keep her standing on her toes. He was driven by impulse. Exciting. Unforgettable. 

Those late-night drives on his motorcycle when she spent hours laughing at his stories with her hands settled deep inside his leather jacket…

Those weekends they spent traveling together to a country where none of them spoke the language, wandering around with no map in their hands, sharing heavy kisses in an abandoned alley, and drunk-dancing to songs sung by strangers… 

And those nights when he would have her body speak to him in ways that only he allowed, her head swirling in ecstasy as she succumbed to his naughty smirks and experienced hands. It was fun. 

So what changed?

“Lend me one of your earphones. I want to know what song you’re listening to.”

“You’re a bit quiet today. What’s wrong?”

“Let’s watch this movie again. You seemed to enjoy it a lot when we saw it at the cinema.”

“I like it when you wear your hair down like this. It looks nice.”

These words… Did he use to say them to her in the past? She can no longer remember, but she forces herself to believe that, yes, he did, he said them all the time. It’s a terrible way to deceive her mind so her feelings for him remain the same. It’s a pathetic way to convince herself that his feelings for her remain the same.

“Hey,” she replies to his greeting, even when he’s nowhere to be seen.

“You’re late.” Satoru, like always, has his fingers running on his keyboards. His magnetic blue eyes are locked to his computer screen, probably have been for the past few hours. She wonders if he even looked up to see her when he heard her footsteps earlier. Most likely not. “Did you get the puddings I asked you?”

“Yes. I put them in the fridge.” 

“Okay, cool.”

No ’thank you’ but what was she expecting anyway?

She removes her coat and unwraps her scarf from her neck before moving toward the living room. She can’t remember what or who initiated it, but it has been almost a year since he started living in her apartment. She remembers how he used to spend just one night at her place on the weekend, then two when he felt a bit needy for her touch. Before she knew it, his personal belongings were scattered all over the place—his hoodie on the couch, his towel hanging on the bathroom door, his toothbrush on her sink. Satoru could be spending the entire week at her place, only taking a short trip back to his apartment once he ran out of comic books to read. The changes just came so naturally that she didn’t notice at first, but by the time she did, it was too late to even bring the topic to the table. 

So she decided to turn her apartment into a home, making it official that they’d moved in together, reshaping it into a place where both she and he could be comfortable and adjusting plenty of things to his needs. Satoru didn’t notice the effort, let alone appreciate it. And now she’s starting to count the days when he’ll eventually stop noticing her as well.

Being with Satoru was easy, casual, and he gave her more reasons to laugh over little things than anyone else. During the first two months of living together, they acted like newlyweds, with him peppering kisses on her face whenever she arrived home from work. Unlike her, Satoru is a freelancer who does most of his work at home. He used to be considerate enough to do some chores for her—cooking, cleaning the bathroom, and sometimes even doing her laundry when he felt like he’d been neglecting her. Whenever she arrived late, he’d always have something prepared for her, beaming at her with a infectious grin while chiming, “Oh, finally, you’re here! I’ve been waiting for you for hours, and I’m starving like crazy. Today’s dish is your favorite, so let’s hurry and eat!”

Unlike him, she appreciated his effort. Each and every one of them. It didn’t feel one-sided then, unlike now.

Satoru used to be perfect, more perfect than anyone else, but then she realizes that he was just trying to impress. Impress her, impress his colleagues, impress his teachers. And now, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to impress her any longer. Nor does he want to.

She was happy, but things are bound to change, and happiness doesn’t last forever. It started slow, almost unnoticeable, with him forgetting to kiss her good night before bed and her treating the fact that he no longer paid attention to what she was wearing as normal. Nowadays, he doesn’t have enough affection to greet her with his smile—one that used to shine brighter than the sun. Comforting hugs and welcome kisses are long forgotten.

It’s lonely, but it’s fine. He’s still here. Satoru is still hers as much as she is his.

It’s fine.

As she rests on the couch, her fingers brush against the book she borrowed from the library the other day. Her mind drifts back to the stranger she met, her smile growing so naturally on her lips at the memory.

Satoru walks out of the bedroom with a yawn, one hand rubbing against the back of his head while the other slips underneath his shirt to scratch the itch on his stomach. He’s stopped minding about his appearance in front of her a long time ago, wearing and doing whatever he feels comfortable with, unbothered by what runs through her mind. She never speaks up anyway. With an enervated “hey,” he enters the bathroom, never stopping to ask her about her day, though she doesn’t really expect him to do so. 

A brief moment later, he returns with his eyes still bleary despite his attempt to wash his face. Noticing his messy silver hair and the black shirt he’s been wearing since yesterday, she follows him to the bedroom, asking, “Have you taken a shower today?”

“Nope,” he answers, plopping himself back to his gaming chair, his eyes locked on his computer screen. “I was busy. Had a meeting with a client this morning.”

She takes a glance at the digital clock on his desk. “But it’s already eight-thirty.”

“Thought I could shower with you today.” He flaunts his cheeky grin, catching her off guard. She didn’t expect him to say something like that, but then again, now that she noticed, it’s been almost two weeks since they last had sex.

She’s exhausted from work. Her body is aching. “I see. Well, I’m about to take a shower now.”

“Like now now?” He hisses when his character on screen takes damage from his opponent. “I’m still playing. Tomorrow morning, then?”

“Sure,” she says, just for the sake of conversation. She already can tell it won’t happen. She has to leave early for work, and Satoru would rather die than wake up at seven in the morning. 

“Hey, umm… I met someone yesterday.” She reaches out to stroke his hair. It’s so soft and fluffy, like a dog’s fur, even when the strands point in every direction. If there was one thing that hadn’t changed, it was how she still found it calming to just card her fingers through them. A habit that she did often in the past as he loved falling asleep with his head on her lap while she indulged herself with her favorite book. The feelings are the same, only his reaction isn’t. He used to lean into her touch as a kitten would. Now, he doesn’t even spare her a glance. “Satoru… Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah, one sec.” He smashes more buttons before he slides down his headphones, letting them rest on his neck. “What’s up?”

“I met someone yesterday. At the library.”

“O… kay?” He knits his eyebrows, confused. “What’s that gotta do with me? Someone I know?”

Surprise blinks in her chest at first, followed quickly by disappointment and then acceptance. Another piece of her heart still breaks, but she’s grown used to the feeling. “No, I just… I don’t know, I thought you should know.”

He snorts, holding back a laugh. “Honey, I’m not keeping you locked up in here. You’re allowed to meet anyone you want. Don’t need to report everything back to me.”

She refrains herself from chewing on her lip. “You’re right. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Baby, of course you’re not bothering me,” he coos, poking her playfully in her stomach. “I’m just saying that ’cause you made it sound like a big deal.”

“Yeah,” she replies, careful not to sound too cold. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Satoru smiles before he spins on his chair, returning to his game. “Who was it?” He asks, fingers running fast over the keys. “It’s not a man, is it?”

She pauses. “Yes…”

He stops tapping, only for a second. “Is he hot?”

“Well, he’s not ugly.”

“Then don’t get too close to him.”

Satoru is the jealous type. He has always been. He’s far from controlling, but his possessiveness often feels suffocating. Or, at least… It used to be. And that was fine. It made her happy to know someone out there liked her so much he didn’t want to share her with anyone else. She felt wanted. Needed. But not today. 

Today, although his words weigh heavily on her, she can tell they weren’t born from his affection for her—if there was even still any of it left. She is his belonging, his possession, and he’s a lion guarding his territory. That’s it.

And that’s… fine, too. At least he still cared.

“I won’t,” she answers, as she should. “I won’t get too close to him.” She repeats it, this time for her own ears, to remind herself.

“Good,” he says, dismantling their tension as easily as a moth shreds its wings. He flashes her a grin with that youthful sparkle in his eyes. “Then we don’t have anything to worry about.” Satoru returns his full attention to the screen, not caring if she’s still standing in the room, waiting for him to care more about her than the man he suspects is eager to snatch her away.

“What will we be having for dinner?” She asks him while he’s busy shouting foul words to his screen.

“Jesus—left, you moron!” He groans loudly into the air before turning around, finally realizing she’s waiting for his answer. “What? Oh.” He pops the lollipop out of his mouth. “I just had some take-outs.”

“You didn’t wait for me?”

“I was dead hungry, but I ordered some for you, too. It’s probably cold now, but you can heat it.”

“Can you do that for me, please? I love it when you add more seasonings to it.” 

“Bunny, you know I’d love to do that, but,” he smiles apologetically before his fingers dance across his keyboards again, “I’m in the middle of something here. There’s an event going on, and these assholes literally won’t let me take a break. Listen, I’ll cook for you tomorrow, I promise.”

She has stopped believing in his promises, or at least doesn’t allow herself to believe in them anymore. She’s learned that the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything.

She smiles back, pushing his hair away so she can land a kiss on his temple. She refuses to say a word no matter how much her bottled-up feelings are about to burst.

Because she knows silence is what keeps their relationship alive. 

***

That following night, Yuuta appeared in her dream.

Standing on the small row between bookshelves with a small feather duster in hand, she found him entering the door to her library—one that bore an uncanny resemblance to the place she often visited in reality. 

He seemed much, much younger than the version she knew, maybe by ten years or so. He had more tan on his skin, his hair a little shorter, color’s a shade darker. He was dressed in an old-fashioned way, like a young English man from the 1940s, with his white buttoned-up shirt, suspenders, and a beige coat that was a couple of sizes bigger than it was supposed to be. Nevertheless, he looked just as breathtakingly handsome as in real life.

Yuuta took off his wool-felt fedora hat, greeting her with a polite bow the moment their eyes met. He was just as timid and awkward; his cobalt eyes never stayed long enough to be locked with hers, but they were honest—the way they shimmered in adoration at the sight of her, painted with both suppressed desire and affection.

He called her with a name—a surname, she assumed, one that she didn’t recognize, but it didn’t feel quite as strange in her ears as it should have been. It was the first time she heard it, and yet, it almost felt like it was her own.

Her body went on autopilot, words flowing from her mouth before she could process the situation. It was like she was residing in someone else’s body, just a bystander. “Good morning to you, too,” she said, bowing her head.“Okkotsu-sama.”

He displayed a mix between a smile and a wince. “Must you refer to me in such a way again?”

“Well, I thought we’d agreed to call each other by our names yesterday,” she heard herself correcting him in a playful manner. “But someone seemed to change his mind.”

He fidgeted a little, his cheeks smeared with scarlet. “I’m… I’m feeling rather embarrassed.”

“If you feel embarrassed calling me, a commoner, by my name, how do you think I feel to be addressing a young nobleman such as yourself without any honorifics as you requested?” 

“Well, I…” Unable to compose a retort, Yuuta sighed in defeat, though his amusement was still sketched vividly on his face. “You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? We’ve only met for a few days, but I already can see myself never winning an argument against you.”

“Well, isn’t it nice to lose sometimes?” She tossed him a smirk, returning half of her attention to continue swabbing the dust off the shelves. “You already have everything you want under your feet, after all. I think it’ll serve as a nice change.”

“Not everything,” he said, staring at her fondly, like a young boy captivated by a lovely dancer on stage. A thousand messages remained unspoken, and yet, with butterflies swirling in her stomach, she could somehow read each one.

“Maybe not yet,” she said, a glimmer of seduction on her lips. 

He gulps. 

Taking off his coat and letting it hang loosely on one arm, Yuuta shortened the distance between them with nervous steps. They chatted for a bit, feeling grateful that it was still quite early in the morning for other patrons to visit. It was easy to melt the ice between them, but only because she knew how, and watching him loosen up around her filled her with some sort of achievement. 

Sometimes, when their conversation died for a few seconds of comforting silence, she’d catch him looking at her with a half-dazed look on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, despite already knowing the answer. “You’re staring again.”

“Oh, umm…” Though mortified, he still used the chance to confess. “I just thought… You look beautiful today.” He sported a soft smile, one that melted her heart the same way his roseate cheeks did. It was also, she realized, the same one that bore the exact look like the one she saw in real life. 

“Why, thank you,” she replied, a hint of teasing in her voice. “Hopefully, you’re not implying I didn’tlook beautiful yesterday.” 

He blanched. “No, of course not! You’re always beautiful! Ever since I first saw you, you’ve always… been…” At the sight of her covering her smile behind her hand, he exhaled in relief, resting his hat on his chest. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she giggled, putting her duster away before dismantling her apron. “Now, if you’d follow me, Okkotsu-sama, I will show you where—” 

He cut her off with a gentle call of her name—her first name—and it staggered her to her feet. Her body might come to a halt because of how lovely her name sounded in his voice—in that sweet tone of his—but her heart froze because it was her name that rolled off his tongue. Her actual name.

That was when she realized: the person who she believed to be a stranger, was herself. And it had occurred all the time in her other dreams, yes, but this one felt… real. 

“T-there,” he stammered, flushed. “I called you by your name. Can you please stop addressing me that way now?”

She felt her lips curving upward. Her voice had never sounded as sweet as  it was when she said, “Yuuta.”

His blush unfurled from his neck to his cheekbones, like red tulip burgeoning on pure white snow. “Thank—” he stopped to swallow his breath, unable to maintain his gaze. “Thank you.”

Tittering lightly at his behavior, she took him by the hand. “Shall we?” 

She guided him further inside the library, introducing one title after another with her fingertips dancing between books. They weren’t as dusty as they were in her reality, the titles far from familiar to her eyes. Weird, she thought, as she was confident that she had memorized most of the books sitting on that particular shelf. Even when she’d visited the library earlier that morning before her shift started, her eyes had roamed along the same section. 

“Which book would you like to read today, Yuu?”

He still grew adorably tense every time his name slipped through her lips,  especially like that, but he was getting used to it. “I’m—I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you,” Yuuta said, smiling a tad wider than before, perfect teeth peeking behind soft red lips. 

“Well then…” She stood on her toes to reach the book she’d been excited to show him all day. “Shall we start with this one?”

The vision ended without her knowing what book it was or the line between her dream and reality. They stood out so vividly—the scenery, his expressions, the lines she’d exchanged with him—that it took her a few good minutes to convince herself that it was just a dream and not a memory.

She couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

***

Her dream follows her every step like a shadow, even in her wake.

Saturday comes, and she finds herself in the library again, just as she promised him. Compared to what she’s seen in her dream, this place is indeed old, with walls standing in dire need of being repainted and books collecting more specks of dust than they have readers flipping through their pages. But the faint smell of sandalwood combined with the orange tint of sunlight sneaking through the windows is always calming. Crowds don’t gather much around here—maybe four or five people at most—and the tranquility consoles her. There’s only a soft thrum of acoustic guitar playing through the speakers that keep her company—

“You’re looking for this one?”

—and Yuuta.

“Yes, indeed, my good sir.” She takes the book from his hand. “Thank goodness we didn’t have to bump heads today.”

“Well, I’d promised you not to,” he chuckles. “Though I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

He’s wearing spectacles today, round glasses adding a layer of maturity to his youthful face. Combined with his long brown coat accentuating his height, he looks even more handsome, her stomach tingling whenever his eyes flicker back toward hers. He tilts his head slightly to the side, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as he tries to read her expression. “Is there something wrong? You’re staring at me. I-is it my joke? Was that rude? Please don’t take it the wrong way—”

“No, calm down,” she can’t help but giggle despite being embarrassed for getting caught in the act. “Sorry, I was just staring because of your, umm… height.” It is true, though not completely.

“My height?”

“Yeah. Must be nice being so tall, huh? I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach it, and I still needed your help.”

He blinks, noticeably surprised, though she’s not sure whether it’s her grumbling or her childish pout that bewilders him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, returning to his gentle smile. “I just… didn’t think you’d say that.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean you specifically. You just remind me of my boyfriend.” He seems surprised, yet again, but instead of restoring his smile, this time he turns quiet. She feels the need to explain. “He’s so tall, you see. Taller than you, even. And he always makes fun of me for my height, like moving my coffee cups to a higher shelf just so he can watch me beg him for help. He’s a bit of a prankster.”

Yuuta chews on the inside of his cheek, tucking his chin. “I wouldn’t have made fun of you,” he says quietly after a moment of confusing silence. “I will never make fun of you.”

The sudden solemnity in his voice feels heavy on her ears. “You don’t think I’m short?”

“I  think you’re perfect.” He lifts his face, suddenly blurting out his words like he’s in a debate he desperately tries to win. Staggered by it, she can only stare. He turns flushed. “I—I mean, being short makes you look cute, like a child. N-not saying I’m into kids—I’m not a pedophile, I swear—”

“That sounds exactly like what a pedophile would say.”

His jaw drops. A giggle escapes her. And when she laughs, he does it too, the sound so warm and comforting that it makes her feel like she’s sitting in front of a cozy fireplace.

She returns her gaze to the shelf. “So, Okkotsu-san,” she teases, “which book would you like to read today? Can’t be this one ’cause I got it first,” she grins, lifting the book she held in her arms.

“Which you only got because of my help.”

“True, but the point still stands.”

Her childishness never fails to amuse him. “Hmm, I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

She freezes, her heartstrings playing a familiar symphony. She opens her mouth, hesitates, but then decides to say what her memory tells her to do, “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you.”

From skipping a beat to racing twice as fast, her heart feels foreign in her own chest. “Umm… Okay.”

Yuuta tilts his head, examining her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. I just remembered something, uhh, something to do at home. Later. Anyway,” she hastily averts her gaze, her eyebrows tied in a knot as she tries to understand is this what deja vu feels like? She searches for a book, trying to be at ease despite her stomach swirling uneasily. “Shall we start with this one?”

Yuuta’s frown stays for only a second longer before he breaks into another smile. “Sure.” 

***

Weekdays are reserved for Satoru, but weekends…

Weekends are the days when her heart can finally dance and smile and live. And every song starts and ends with his name: Yuuta.

Satoru always has plans every weekend, plans that don’t involve her, not anymore. She did this to herself, mostly by declining his offers to mingle with his friends and co-workers until, eventually, he stopped asking. It’s not that she doesn’t want to go; she just no longer has the energy to keep up with hours of his social life when all she does is sit at the corner, doing nothing but sip on her drink and waste her phone battery to pass the time. 

Satoru’s friends are nice, but they don’t really resonate with her in the way she would love it to be. Shoko smokes too much. Suguru judges her taste in anything behind his angelic, saccharine smile. Haibara is exceptionally energetic that he tires her simply by looking at him. Mei Mei visits the girls’ bathroom once every twenty minutes to check on her little brother, and Nanami… Well, Nanami is all right. They could spend hours just grousing over how terrible it was being a corporate slave, but he’s not there often, taking away the small chance she has to make herself visible. Satoru would bring her into conversation occasionally, but as soon as he got a nod or two, he’d focus on Suguru, who, for some reason, always knew how to ruffle his feathers.

So, the routine starts. Friday nights are for his co-workers. Saturdays are for his college mates. And Sundays… Well, Sundays are supposed to be filled with breakfast in bed and bodies tangled under the sheets with her, but Satoru has forgotten his promise a long time ago, using them to regain all the sleep hours he’s been missing the days before instead of having some quality time to catch up with his lover. But it’s fine. She’s learned how to make the best of her time, finding companies in books that never make empty promises nor offer her disappointment the way he does. And now she finds an even better option. 

She meets Yuuta every weekend when the sun is a couple of hours away from setting. They don’t chat for long as their conversations are always reserved for the little coffee shop gathering (she’s trying to avoid the word ’date’) that always occurs after a few pleasant hours of reading. They begin to grow comfortable with each other, much easier than she thought they would, and very quickly, as if they were old friends reconciling for the time they’ve lost. Maybe even more than old friends—a thought that should scare her. 

At the library, she spends most of their hours poring over her chosen book for the day while stealing glances at him. More often than not, she’ll catch him doing the same, but whenever their gazes meet, he’ll look away with his face steaming, busying himself at once by scribbling something incoherent, most likely, down on his paper.

Today is a rare occasion. He’s been keeping his gaze fixated on his own writings; the world seemingly turns obscure around him. His eyebrows taut together as he sinks more profoundly into his thoughts, a habit that she finds beguiling. His raven hair seems a shade lighter as the evening sun casts its light upon his face, basking him with such a warm, beautiful glow.

He really does look like a painting, she admires, stealing glances at him from behind her book. The perfect shape of his nose, his skin as pure as the driven snow, the way he’s so fixated on his story, drowning inside his imagination… It’s easy to be bewitched by his beauty.

She must be careful not to let her endless praise slip through her mouth. “So focused,” she coos, choosing to act mischievously instead, which earns her a little smile. “Writing a new scene? I thought you’d finished your draft.”

He looks up from his paper, meeting her eyes. They linger briefly as if it was hard for him to look away once he’d set his eyes on her. Though it happens all the time, she can never get used to it. 

He smiles quietly to himself, a soft blush painting his features. “Just a short one.”

She hums in response. Having trouble refocusing on the passage she just read now that he’s giving her attention, she throws another question at him. “Why aren’t you using a laptop? I mean, it would’ve been a lot easier, right?”

“Not fond of it,” he responds, re-reading the words he just wrote. “I feel more like a writer this way.” When he notices her tittering, he arches his brow. “What?”

“You sound like my father.”

He scrunches his nose. It’s cute. “Then I’m sure your father is a brilliant, tech-savvy man.”

“I’m saying you have an old soul, the way you prefer to do things more traditionally.” She sinks further into her chair, opening a new page, eyes scanning the lines but not reading them. “Well, I guess that makes the two of us since I already have the e-book version of this on my iPad, yet I’m still here reading it in a library. How’s your story going so far?”

“Pretty well. I just came up with a really annoying character.” His smile is a bit different this time, somewhat impish. A new look on him that she instantly adores. “Inspired by someone.”

“You’re not talking about me, are you?”

Yuuta drags his pen over his note. “Character B begins to question whether she’s—”

She playfully slaps her book against his shoulder.

The more time she spends with him, the more she feels like he’s becoming a mystery she can’t solve. She’s closer to him, closer than any of her friends, but she knows there are secrets he tries to bury underneath those tender smiles. To her, Yuuta, with his eyes always seeming like they’re telling a different story—one that nearly drives him to the brink of tears—still appears like an incomplete puzzle. And if time allows her, she’d gladly collect every piece of him to perceive  him better.

***

Dreams are supposed to be strange. Nonsensical. Meaningless and easily forgotten. And yet, ever since Yuuta walked into her life, they’ve become anything but. Every detail stood more vividly than the memories of her own childhood, so vibrant with colors that it made it impossible for her to stray away from it even when she was awake. They occur every night, forming a chain of events beginning from the very first day she encountered him by chance in the library. 

In her dreams, they spent most of their time there, almost in the same way they did in real life. But while only weeks had passed by in reality, time flowed much faster here. She could tell that the season had changed from the clothes they wore to the coldness that kissed his cheek scarlet. There were never the same books lying between their hands, but she didn’t notice them at first, not as clearly as the changes in the air shared between them. 

They grew closer faster than they did in real life, fondness in the glances they covertly tossed to each other. Their voices were glazed more with adoration than mirth every time they laughed, and the smiles they shared were everlasting. Yuuta’s eyes lingered every time he had the chance to marvel at her features for a little while. Sometimes, they were lost in her darker hues. Sometimes, they remained longer than they should have on her lips, watching them move but not registering any words spoken. Sometimes, if she were lucky, she’d have the chance to gaze back into them, and he’d let her have a taste of the depth of the affection he held for her. And they’d let the moment pass just like that for a second or two, forcing time to slow down and their surroundings to reduce into a blur until they were the only two people left in the universe.

In one dream, when the serene evening rain tapped itself against the tall windows of her library, she saw Yuuta braving himself to touch her hand for the first time, just the slightest brush of his quivering fingertips against hers as they read from the same book, a touch so light it rivaled the softness of a zephyr’s kiss upon a baby’s strand. She could feel her face warming at the touch, a new sensation, but she didn’t hate it, not at all. If anything, it left her wanting more. The dream ended with them sharing secret smiles with themselves, innocent hearts kissed by the flame of first love.

Every night, this happens. And it’s like witnessing the beginning of a love story. Her love story. Though most of the time she feels like she’s inhabiting someone else’s body, it’s beginning to feel like…

I’m falling for him, too.

It’s a scary thought, but she puts no effort to stop it. After all, this is just a dream, isn’t it? I’m only falling for this version of him—the version that I, or rather, my mind, created. And that’s why he’s so perfect, right? Because that’s how I want him to be. It sounds like a perfect theory, and so she believes it wholeheartedly. 

Only on certain nights when exhaustion took a toll on her body did she manage to sleep without him visiting her mind, but that was simply because she wasn’t dreaming at all. It seems like she only has two options now: enter a dreamless sleep or fall into memory-like sequences that revolve around him and no one else.

Last night was no different.

She entered her dreamland, a burst of sunlight blinding her at once. She threw her stare down to avoid it, seeing her hands going in motion to accompany her moving legs. She could see the end of her plain, dark grey kimono swaying with every step, her feet covered in white socks that were split between her toes, matched by a pair of formal sandals made of rice straws. She was taking a stroll down one of the busiest streets of Tokyo—or at least, that was where she assumed they were. 

To say that the city appeared dissimilarly from the one she resided in now is an understatement—they were poles apart. The architectural design of the buildings embraced more of the historic European elements instead of the perfect blend of the traditional Japanese architecture and modernist designs they have now. The Western influence lay thickly in every aspect of life that she managed to identify in the short time she was there. From food, clothing, music, painting—everything was transformed by it. The city looked breathtaking and unsettling at the same time. 

She recalled seeing such scenery commemorated in one of the history books she studied in school. She was indeed in Tokyo—a couple of decades before it was bombed to the ground, turning the once beautiful city into nothing but dust and rubbles, drenched in the blood of more than a hundred thousand civilians during the Second World War.

 The thought made her blood curdle. 

“Are you all right?” 

Yuuta, appearing just as young as the first time she saw him in her dream, asked her worriedly. He was dressed in another set of Western clothing, looking exceptionally handsome in his white button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, a black tie, and a matching dark vest that highlighted the shape of his broad chest and lean waist. The wind ruffled his hair as he walked beside her, perfecting it by adding a little boyish charm, a perfect company to the blush on his cheeks that emerged from the late spring’s sunlight heat. 

The one thing that was missing was his smile, his face twisted in concern as he eyed her closely. “You haven’t said anything in a while… Am I boring you?”

“No, of course not,” she heard herself say, stepping to the side of the road to speak with him in private. He bent his head down to listen to her properly, not wanting her voice to be drowned by the murmurs of the passing crowd. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just… I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” He repeated, both in disbelief and amusement. “Why is it so hard for me to imagine that?”

“It’s true,” she pouted. “Unlike you with your sweet, extravagant life, I’ve never had the pleasure of being invited to a concert before. I don’t know what to do once I’m there. I don’t know what to say to your friends. I don’t even think I’m dressed correctly for the occasion—Why are you laughing at me?!”

“I’m not.” He clearly was, even when he was trying to swallow every bit of his laughter. “I’m sorry. I know this is a new experience for you, but really, there’s no need for you to feel so anxious. All you have to do is sit down beside me and enjoy the show. You don’t have to say anything to my friends if you don’t want to. We could also just avoid them entirely if you think that could put you at ease.”

“But… I thought you wanted to discuss something with them after the show.”

He hummed as he pretended to cogitate on it, secretly smiling to himself. “Well, I suppose I could meet new business partners every other day, but being with you? When you’re so adorably nervous like this?” His grin was as beguiling to marvel at as the blush that kissed the apples of his cheeks. “That doesn’t happen every day now, does it?”

Speaking of cheeks—she was pinching them. Hard. “We haven’t met in two weeks, and suddenly, you’re a man with words now, are you?” He whimpered in pain, sputtering out his apology until she released him with a sigh. “Am I at least wearing the right clothes?” She spun herself once, giving him the chance to examine the details. Though her long sleeves were up to trend, she couldn’t help but think that the motif and shade of her kimono were a little dull. Most ladies her age wore bright-colored ones with bold, graphic patterns as their ornaments. Their fabrics were always made from silk or satin, unlike hers which was cheaply produced from cotton. She would never have let such trivial things bother her if she didn’t have to stand next to him at such a fancy event. She cared more about his reputation than her own, not wanting him to be judged more than he already was for spending most of his spare time wandering around with a lower-class woman such as herself. “This is the best kimono I have, but I don’t know if it’s enough—”

“You’re perfect,” he answered without waiting for her to complete her line. “You’re always perfect.”

She cast her gaze somewhere else, ignoring the heat rising to her face. “Well, if you say so…” she murmured diffidently. “I just want to look equal to you. You look so handsome with your suit and everything and I don’t…” —her voice turned small— “want my presence to ruin that.”

His shoulders slumped forward as he witnessed her usual confidence waning away. With tenderness in his touch, he took her hand between his own. “We don’t have to go if you don’t feel like it.”

She shook her head. “You’ve paid a high price for my ticket, I couldn’t—”

“I don’t care,” he squeezed her hand. “All I want is to see you having the best time of your life. I thought—since you said you often played classical music on your piano—watching a live orchestra in person would gladden you. But if it only worries you like this, I’d rather just spend another hour with you in the library.” He gave her a smile, as soft as the brush of his thumb over her knuckles. “Let’s do whatever you want today. Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”

He made her heart sing in ways she thought it couldn’t. “No, I want to go,” she confirmed. “I’m sorry, I just… I guess I thought about it too much.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I think you look gorgeous as you are now, but if you’re still concerned about your outfit, why don’t we visit a shop real quick?”

“Huh? What are you—” She was tugged forward before she could finish, forced to hasten her steps to match his excited strides. “Yuuta—wait!” ***

Without taking a second to listen to her, he led her to the nearest gokufuya to find her a set of kimono that, in her opinion, would be better for the occasion.  They arrived with sweat coating their skins, their breathing ragged from all the running. “Can you dress her in the prettiest, most expensive kimono you have, please?” Yuuta promptly asked the owner with sparks in his eyes, taking her by surprise. 

A beautiful lady, maybe ten years above her age, who was dressed elegantly in a white kimono decorated in floral patterns, smiled understandingly at his request. “Of course. Could you please wait for a moment? I will prepare the changing room for you.”

“Yes, we’ll be waiting,” he replied.

Immediately after she walked away, leaving the two of them alone, she clutched her hand around his arm. “Yuuta, wait,” she warned him under her breath. “We should go. I don’t have any money.” Especially when you unnecessarily asked her for the most expensive one. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

“Then, we really need to go,” she insisted, half-glowering at him. “What did I tell you about buying me expensive gifts? I don’t like it. It makes me feel guilty.”

“Well, fortunately for both of us,” he grinned, rather cheekily which was a rare look on his face. “I’m not buying you a gift. I’m renting it—ouch!”

She was pulling on his cheek again. “That’s the same!”

But Yuuta, with his cheek swollen and everything, remained stubborn till the end, refusing to leave the shop until she, at the very least, tried to put one on herself. 

The shopkeeper, who introduced herself as Utahime Iori, instructed two young assistants—Miwa and Momo—to accommodate them with their needs. With a polite bow, they led them further into the shop, granting them some privacy from the other visitors. “Let’s just do it for fun,” Yuuta said. “If you don’t find anything that suits your taste, we can go with your old one, I promise.” Not wanting to argue with a nobleman in front of three pairs of curious eyes, she sighed and followed as he said, begrudgingly.

Only just for fun, she muttered inwardly.

And indeed it was. Never in her life had she had the opportunity to try on such luxurious clothing. From silk to satin. Blue, green, and golden. From geometric patterns to feather-like designs—she was trying on everything the two girls asked her to. 

Yuuta sat on the little couch provided in the same space, waiting with his suit jacket folded around his arm and his invisible tail wagging behind him, all in anticipation. She could feel his excitement reverberating even from the fitting room she was in. 

His eyes matched the brightest stars in the night sky each time she allowed him to take a look, gazing at her with admiration so intense, it lit her skin on fire. She always pulled the curtains closed before he could muster his comment, knowing that it would be the same every time.

You’re so beautiful.

Before she could try on the next piece, Utahime walked inside the fitting room with her own choice of kimono. “Let’s try this one next, shall we?” Her assistants nodded, ready to follow her direction, but the lady stopped them before they began. “I’ll assist her with this one myself,” she said, earning herself a polite bow from the two before they excused themselves out of the room.

Utahime stepped closer, causing her to grow nervous for some reason. The room suddenly felt like it’d shrunk three times smaller with the amount of tension brewing between them. In her eyes, Utahime exuded elegance that only belonged to the nobility. She found herself tense under her scrutinizing stare, her tongue tied inside her mouth.

“Raise your arms for me?” Utahime broke the silence, to which she answered with a nod. The lady began by unraveling the sash, experienced hands moving so swiftly yet refined. “Your partner is very adorable,” Utahime said to her surprise, with a slight giggle that she didn’t expect to flow so airily from her mouth. She disrobed the outer layer of her kimono, preparing her for the new one. “Must be nice to find love at such a young age.”

“W-we’re not lovers.”

“You’re not?”

“No, Ma’am.” Why am I talking about my love life with a stranger? She thought, mortified. She followed Utahime’s guidance, sliding her arms through the long sleeves of the kimono she’d chosen for her. “We’re just, umm… Friends.” And it was true. Yuuta showered her with endless compliments every second he had the chance to, but not once had ever asked her to be his lover. And maybe that’s for the best, she couldn’t help but wonder, crestfallen over her own thoughts. Because at the end of the day…

We never truly belong in the same world, do we? 

She expected confusion to settle on the lady’s face, but it never did. It was as if she had known the truth all along. “I don’t think any of you wishes to stay that way for long,” Utahime said softly.

The truth came down as a blessing and torture at the same time. She couldn’t speak for his sake, but she knew exactly why she hadn’t spoken a word about her feelings, even with them growing this close to each other. He was blue blood while hers ran red. When was the last time she heard of a nobleman marrying a lowborn in this country? Never.

So, they could trifle with each other’s heart all they want; they could even own it if they wanted to, but it wouldn’t matter. They would never be together. 

“I keep telling myself not to come clean about my feelings for him,” she confessed quietly. “And even if I wanted to tell him, I wouldn’t know how to… put my feelings into words. For once, I’m embarrassed,” she chuckled a little to mask her emotions. “But, most of all, I’m… scared.”

I’m scared that he’ll say the truth. That the difference in our status is indeed something he can’t look past.

She wondered if Utahime could read the conflict she was battling inside, but if she did, she didn’t speak on it. Instead, like a mother would do to her child, she soothed her with gentle words. “Well, sometimes love can be so grand that we find it difficult to put it into words,” Utahime started, her lips curved up in a delicate smile. “But it’s fine, isn’t it? There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.” A faraway gaze manifested in her eyes as if she was reminiscing a past love. “We can feel it in their touch. We can hear it in their tone. We can see it in their gaze. Love is love no matter how we convey it,” the lady finished. “Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.”

Her gaze turned vacant as she let Utahime wrap her obi around her waist, recalling every little kindness, every little joy Yuuta had granted her in the last few months they had known each other. And with it, she braved herself to wonder.

Even if it was only for a short while, wouldn’t it still be wonderful to be in love with him? To be loved by him? They were still young, so young. It would take another three to five years before he was urged to marry and—

That’s enough, right?

Even if he was forced to leave me afterward… Even if it would only hurt us in the end… Wouldn’t it be better to love a little than to not love at all? 

I want to.

I want to love him.

I already am in love with him and I know he feels the same way.

Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.

I just have to… accept it.

“What if I want to give him more…?” she unconsciously mumbled loud enough for Utahime to catch it. He’d done so much for me, things that I might never be able to repay. And if it’s love he wants from me, if I can give that to him to make him feel as happy as he’s made me, I want him to give him so much more than he asks for. I want to love him harder than the way he loves me.

Smiling to herself, the older woman tied the final string, turning her sash into a beautiful, voluminous bow. Utahime adjusted her body to face the standing mirror before her, lightly squeezing her shoulders as their eyes met in the reflection. “Then he’ll be the luckiest man on earth,” she answered near her ear, letting her take the time to absorb the view.

Out of all the kimonos she’d tried, this one captured her heart the most, enveloping her in such beauty and grace that she could barely recognize herself. 

Her body was swaddled by a pretty violet shade that resembled a blooming lilac. The floral patterns embroidered the silk in such an intricate way that once it was worn, it appeared as if her every curve was embraced tightly by an endless string of white roses. 

“You know what looks better on me than I do, Iori-san,” she said, still staring at her reflection in disbelief. Before this, Momo had helped her redo her hair to match her outfit, tying it up in a beautiful braid that showcased her neckline and accentuated her facial features. It looked perfect combined with this kimono. Now, she appeared like a different person, elegant from head to toe. “I didn’t think this look would suit me. I’ve never worn this color before, or these patterns.”

“Oh, it was all that gentleman’s idea,” Utahime answered with a polite smile, her fingers curling around the curtain. “Everything was, from the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.” She pushed the blind open, showcasing her latest masterpiece to the one admirer who had waited so patiently for her. “So, go on and show him how stunning his choices look on you.”

With her heart climbing up her throat, she spun her head around to see Yuuta slowly standing from his seat, his eyes turning rounder at the sight of her. She watched him swallow his breath, searching for words to say as blood pooled quickly on his face.

“You look…” he mumbled out as if he was in a trance. “Breathtaking…”

And quite literally, it seemed, judging from how breathless he was. The two assistants peeking from the corner of the room giggled to themselves, exchanging murmurs behind their fingers. 

Utahime approached her from behind, explaining something only for her ears to hear. “These white roses in the kimono you’re wearing hold several meanings,” she said, guiding her straying eyes back to the reflection in the mirror. She hovered her lean fingers above two separate flowers joined to form an ornament below her neckline. “A single white rose like this portrays the beauty of love at first sight. While these two right here”—she glided her hand to her left side, stopping to caress the small two roses printed on the fabric just a little under her shoulder— “symbolize purity. All together, they represent eternal love.” 

It was all that gentleman’s idea, she recalled Utahime’s lines. From the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.

She turned flustered, steam filling her brain, but before she could reply, Utahime excused herself with a bow, disappearing behind the sliding door with a knowing smile written on her lips.

Suddenly, there were only two of them in the world.

She grew self-conscious, fiddling with her fingers. Never in her life had she ever been gazed at so passionately, so romantically by a man before that it left her feeling faint. “I, umm, I think I’m going to take this one, but I promise I’ll pay you back for it,” she said, not knowing how to act honestly even when her heart was filled to the brim with gratitude. 

Yuuta was still staring, mesmerized by every detail: the curls of her hair teasing her neck, the way the fabric hugged her curves, how perfect this color looked on her skin—everything.

She raised her hand over her face, hiding behind it. “Stop looking at me like that,” she grew timorous. But instead of doing as she wished, he took the same hand and curled his fingers around them.

There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.

Her eyes widened as he brought her hand closer to him. “Y-Yuuta—”

We can feel it in their touch. 

He placed a kiss on her skin, his lips caressing against the bumps of her knuckles. They were warm, warmer than she thought they’d be as his hand was always cold. The kiss was brief, but his lips remained close as he held her hand still, doing everything so softly as if she was made out of porcelain.

We can hear it in their tone. 

His voice was an instrument, and with it, he performed endless love songs with her name as his poem.

We can see it in their gaze.

Yuuta blinked his eyes open, and at first, she witnessed his affection, but underneath the tenderness of his gaze and the sweetness of his youthful face, laid the passion of a man, so burned with desire, it left her watching with bated breath. 

He wanted her carnally, desired her as much as he loved her.

“I always thought that you’d look gorgeous in this color, and I’m glad I was right,” he said, his hand slowly gliding to her wrist. The simple, innocent act felt so sinful as if he was undressing her, peeling her out of the kimono to satisfy his fantasy. It was so… thrilling. “But even if I had imagined it a thousand times before, nothing could ever come close to the way you look right now.” He drew his hand away, and she was so struck by it, she almost reached out to beg him for more. Yuuta slid his hand into the pocket of his trousers, retrieving the other gift he had prepared for her today. It was a hairpin—a kanzashi, they called it—in the shape of a yellow camellia flower. He placed it upon her hair, the perfect final touch to the perfect lady. He sighed, full of longing, his hand sliding down to her face. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he whispered, his thumb skating over her lips. “The only woman I want to see for the rest of my life.”

She held her breath, her chin trapped between his fingers. He leaned close, or maybe she did, she couldn’t tell, so distracted by the words he spoke and the way he—

“I’m sorry to bother you,” one of the assistants, Miwa, who was sitting politely on her heels, slid the door open without knowing. “Utahime-sama would like to know if—Oh!” She squeaked at the sight of them, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as she clamped her mouth with both hands. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt!” She pressed her head to the ground, cold sweat dampening her face. “I was—We wanted to ask whether you’d like to try on something else—oh, Gods, I’m terribly sorry—” she continued to ramble on her own, completely shattering whatever magic laid between them before. 

Clearing her throat, she took a step away from him the same way he distanced himself, tossing her gaze anywhere but him. 

“W-we’d like to take this one please, thank you,” Yuuta said, face flushed.

“Yes, Okkotsu-sama—understood!” Giving another deep bow, she quickly excused herself, scuttering away while mumbling to herself, “What do I do what do I do what do I do I have no money Utahime-sama is going to send me back to the village what about my brother he’s still so young what are we going to eat what if we get eaten by a bear oh I’m going to die”

“She does not have one positive thought in her brain, does she?” She forced a chuckle out of her despite still finding the air heavy to breathe in. 

Yuuta stood soundlessly, still unable to meet her gaze, not even for a second. But that was fine. She wouldn’t have known what to do if he did. After all—

Suddenly, he called out her name, a little bit louder than he’d intended due to his nervousness. “Y-yes, Yuu?”

He took her hand, holding it tightly between his own. He locked their eyes together, causing her to gulp. “After the concert,” he said, his ears flaming red. “C-can we continue—”

Everything suddenly turned blank.

She blinked her eyes open, greeted by the sight of her ceilings.

When she was younger—many, many years ago—her mother used to splash water on her face to rip her apart from her sweetest dream, but it never, never felt this excruciating, this shocking, this infuriating to wake up before. What was he going to ask me? She mused, even when she still felt disoriented after the sudden change of reality. 

’Can we continue seeing each other?’

’Can we continue talking somewhere private?’ 

’Can we continue… where we left off?’  

What was it?!

Her heart raced at the thought. God, she hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in them, this is worse than having my favorite show end in a cliffhanger. She almost groaned loudly out of frustration—she would’ve if Satoru hadn't been sleeping next to her.

Right. Satoru.

She whirled her head to the side, watching her boyfriend sprawling on the sheets, nearly taking most of the bed and hogging the blanket to himself. Next to him, a digital clock sat on the nightstand.

04.32 am. 

There’s still time before I have to go to work. If I fall asleep now… will I dream of him again? Will I find out the question he asked me? She immediately shook her head, throwing herself back to the bed. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be thinking of him, not like that.

Satoru, she reminded herself as she lay on her side, her eyes slowly turning heavy as she continued to stare vacantly at the wall. I’m with Satoru. Yuuta is just a dream.

“Everything was just…” she mumbled, her lids drawing close like a curtain. “…a dream.”

A dream and nothing more.

***

[soulsvn]

fammmm