soup-certified

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Certified soup post

if somebody made a wojak of me I wouldn't care. but if it doesn't feature anything soup related I would literally roll on the ground cry scream go into fetal position cry scream roll howl growl cry cry cry roll on the ground

[soup-certified]

Certified Soup Post

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

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Me when i find a good bowl of stew

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Certified Soup Post

pho...beloved...

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please stop treating the word neurodivergent like it means the overlap between autism and adhd

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it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this

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You wont believe the groceries i be into

"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it

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Certified soup post

silly graphic t-shirts?

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Very good. In any case, Certified soup post

this game gnawed me like that sequence when you look outside the minute you spawn in my son soup

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I don’t go here, is this little friend seriously named soup?

this game gnawed me like that sequence when you look outside the minute you spawn in my son soup

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happy pride to my favorite gif in the world

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Certified soup store

So my sister is on vacation and has sent me a photo of the store she was buying clothes in.

I'm going to lose it.

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Certified soup post

Gotta keep my soup flask (slask) on me everywhere i go

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Certified soup post

(They are on a date)

sometimes I feel like discord is lacking emojis and so I make them myself. these ones in particular are my favorites

frog, toad, and soup!

Feel free to use them if you'd like!

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Certified soup post

i make a soupe today big soup and i eat it i made a whole soup bowl of soup for me big bowl orf soup for me i eat it yummy soup . 🍜 my sup i ate my ssoup

[soup-certified]

Certified soup post

myyyyy soup ! i eat a soup !