soupien

[soupien]

hi <3

currently trying to write a poem, I’m curious as to what others think of it. (I do not usually write poetry)

Advice/criticism/thoughts please!!

My poem - His Rib

“

Am I a helper or blessing?

Left following after you

Searching seeking sights of bliss

Flesh and bone, blood and tears.

I am made from you,

Your missing piece

Searching forever to complete you.

Like I am supposed to

Succumb to temptation

A weakness upon man

Lost in beauty, found in ruin.

Picking from where I should not

Inflicting my fate onto all to follow

Victim to all, lost in tangibility.

Like I am supposed to

His remnant inside me

Consuming me inside out

I follow you helplessly.

Blissfully blind, shallow steps

I trail behind.

Like I am supposed to

No, to temptation

No, to incitement

I wish not to carry these burdens

Leave them at the tree

Surrender myself to him.

Like I am supposed to

“

thank you!!