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We desperately need a Jason Todd smut. He’s angry and I just wanna kiss him til he shuts up

i have 2 separate jason requests i'm working on 🫡 you will be fed soon anon, i promise. just turned in a college essay, so i'm free to go beast mode on tumblr. i like to think jason intentionally plays up his anger so he gets extra smooches. bro's too coy to ask

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I need dick grayson like I need air to BREATHE

realest anon ever — CONTROVERSIAL TAKE — but id also smash discowing

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do you do masc!reader reqs for metallica? or even ftm!reader (which i am) ?

hi anon! at the moment i’ve put the tallica hyperfixation to rest. i’ve moved on to dc comics and quite possibly hunger games. plus, i do not write any male reader fics because i don’t really consume mlm fanfics and i wouldn’t want to misrepresent that community. i know you can find tonnnnsss of mlm tallica fics on ao3 if you know how to navigate the filtration system. tysm for the ask though, hope you find your fics <3

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Which batkids would sell Bruce for One Direction

Bruce wakes up at 9 AM to all of his kids screaming "GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE ROOM!" He changes into a simple turtleneck, slacks, and million-dollar watch. He lets his messy onyx hair fall messily as he admires himself in front of the mirror. He is a plain, boring 45-year-old man with a massively jacked build that no one except his bullies notice because he's so unpopular. As he makes his way downstairs, Jason demands a beer, which Bruce obediently brings him. At breakfast, Tim breaks the news to him. "We need money so we're selling you to some guys." Bruce argues back and Dick says, "Shut up, we're sick of you." The doorbell rings and Damian excitedly opens the door. Standing there are 5 attractive young men. The one with curly dark hair steps forward, smiling. "'Ello love, my name's Harry. This is Louis, Zayn, Liam, and Niall. You'll be living with us."

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when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

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I had a vision. Also the idea that Bruce is in Tim’s phone as “Bruce Landlord” made me laugh very hard.

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alright u freaks (affectionate) update:

i wrote the fic. read the fic. HATED the fic. am rewriting the fic. want this one to be super good so its worth it for me. got college stuff due soon so update will be double late. pls hang on i will feed u soon

went on a dress to impress bender the past few weeks, sorry guys. a banger request has pulled me from my moment of madness though. i will not let dti distract me from what matters (writing smut)

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Hello!

If you take requests, could you do a Battinson & Robin?

Hope you have a good day.

HERE YOU GOOOO! Matching panda eyes🐼

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(redraw of 2011 TT #92)

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people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task

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the neurodivergent experience:

20% of the time: wowwieee!!! i love my passions and interests!!!!! they make me so happy i want to jump up and down!!!!! weee!!!!!!! :3333333333

80% of the time: this mind is a prison

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'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

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How did your finals go?? Hope they went well

i was like. one point off full marks in my king lear paper 🥲

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actually. considering ‘brucie wayne’ is a popular well loved gotham-born-and-bread socialite that is adored by gotham’s public on social media. shouldn’t he like… be all for the joker’s death???

like i think we all agree at this point that everybody is fucking fine with the joker getting murdered. batman is literally the only one in the city that won’t do it. so if ‘brucie’ is really so beloved then his public views must be lovable too. can you fucking imagine bruce wayne at a party getting caught on camera with a bunch of people talking about how ‘oh my god can we just PLEASE kill the joker, amiright or am i RIGHT!?’ and everybody is laughing and nodding in agreement and bruce wayne is so devoted to his brucie act that he literally feels like he has no choice but to nod and loudly agree ‘HONESTLY, like get that man in a GRAVE!’

he comes downstairs the next morning slightly hungover to the clip trending on twitter and his kids all just fucking glaring at him across the breakfast table looking so betrayed like

bruce:

bruce: ok listen-

dick: if i were you i wouldn’t speak

bruce: …?

dick: *nods his head over to jason*

jason: *glaring directly at bruce, shaking with rage, eyes green, gun in hand* i fucking dare you to talk. give me a reason. give me a SINGLE FUCKING REASON

bruce:

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went on a dress to impress bender the past few weeks, sorry guys. a banger request has pulled me from my moment of madness though. i will not let dti distract me from what matters (writing smut)

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me logging onto tumblr after consuming a new piece of media

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i love writing porn and i wont feel bad about it. understanding the eroticism of a character is character analysis if u are enlightened.