sourcegame

[sourcegame]

I try to act like what happened wasn’t a big deal. Everyone knows it was though.

Questioning me.

Invading me.

Put me in a room with strangers and squeeze every drop of information out.

Leave me dry with no way to recover.

[sourcegame]

What difference does it make if I exist

Or if I don’t.

Somehow I doubt anything would change in my absence.

Mom would still cry.

Dad would be as jaded as ever.

People might think and wonder what happened.

Me personally, I don’t care.

I wish I was gone.

[sourcegame]

I’m complacent

[sourcegame]

I dont know why I keep coming back

Nothing changes

I can’t seem to find the wall that has a foothold

I keep sliding down further

This pit is endless,

Is it really a pit if it doesn’t end;

why can’t I go back up?

[sourcegame]

No joy

Nothing

Emptiness is all consuming in a world of matter

The stars swirl in a soup of all consuming nothing

I am swirling around in my own emptiness.

[sourcegame]

Im so numb to it all

And i need a break

But adults dont get breaks

Guess I will keep going

[sourcegame]

[sourcegame]

Kinda got that feeling again where i just want to end it 💔

I wish I didn’t have to use this account. But I really hate dumping things like this on my friends. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of how quick everything pours out.

[sourcegame]

Im so fucking tired of being triggered at work.

I just want to be in my body. I don’t want to relive childhood, I don’t want this.

[sourcegame]

As the host, I go through these periods of dullness that are so hard to explain. I try to communicate my experience but the words I find can never explain it.

I feel no empathy, I don't have excitement or joy in anything, I just feel nothing. I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy, it's just genuinely nothing. And it's gets so fucking tiring, trying to mask myself as something different.

Maybe I'm just spiraling, but I genuinely think I was made to be this way and I don't know how to go on without my mask falling and it ruining relationships because they REALLY think *we* don't love them.

Are these periods of me like this, just long periods of dissociation episodes, where I'm front and present but I'm not.. there??

[sourcegame]

~ M

[sourcegame]

🤡

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

PLEASE

FOR THE LOVE OF GOOOODDD

[sourcegame]

OOOOOO I WANNA KILL MYSELF SOOOOO BAAAD OOOOOOO

[sourcegame]

I wish people appreciated me more… I just feel empty

My birthday came and went so fast, it felt like nothing. My coworker had an entire room of people scream happy birthday to them. I don’t understand why I don’t have that same worth. I am happy for them, but I am so jealous.

[sourcegame]

I dont want to be here

[sourcegame]

Failed so hard i face planted below soil

[sourcegame]

Slices of Colour Moodboard 4/?: Green