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petition to bring back saying "huzzah!" when something goes your way and "alas." when it doesn't
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There are only two jobs left in the world and it's making sandwiches or killing people
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I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
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asking "hey is it fine if I smoke in here" and before you're able to answer I've already set up a full rack of salmon over a fire in your living room
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divorce themed restaurant menu
dessert: CUSTARDy Battle
yeah that's all i've got so far sorry
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If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on
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its depressingly, morbidly funny to me that the 'no cops at pride? what about the good cops 🥺' discourse happened like 12 hours before the LAPD were ordered to arrest every single person in downtown LA
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Who made this edit, it's the most valid one
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so I’m filling out pediatrician intake forms for my newborn son and I get to the demographic section and I was already chuckling about putting a marital status…

yes hello my 3 day old son responds to only Old English, thank you
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