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You’re sucking my dick then you look up and I’m giving you analogue horror eyes
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Olive green and mustard yellow and burnt orange are a beautiful, inseparable polycule and they are all making out with each other in my closet.
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her cock was an undersea fiber optic cable and Brother i was a hungry shark
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It's not a NECKLACE it's an AMULET ok it's a WIZARD thing IM MASC IM MASC IM MASC
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This is the single funniest thing I've read in my fucking life
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Ruth Awad, from “Let me be a lamb in a world that wants my lion”
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im sexy and i know it
girl look a dead body
girl look a dead body
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when I was in the hospital I had the tv on in my room to sleep to and christmas movies were on and they played Elf twice in a row so for a good half of the night I was drifting in and out of consciousness like this
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new weed idea
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"kill them with kindness" wrong. bat attack
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when you lose the person you love (and resent) most in the world and it’s all your fault so out of grief and guilt you essentially take on their identity and live their life
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bmw wrapped: you used your turn signal twice! you're in the top 0.0001% of turn signal users!
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