spacetransportationsystem

[spacetransportationsystem]

Sys culture is dropping friends like flies for all sorts of fucking reasons!! UGH,,,

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[spacetransportationsystem]

DID rant

I don’t think people look into the other aspects of dissociation enough and just focus a lot on switching and alters. I don’t think enough people realize that dissociation and memory gaps can happen with the same person front the whole time. People don’t think enough about how intensely dissociated you can get and never switch.

I have a near constant headache, I can nearly never trust my memory, and I HAVE to rely on others I know to inform me of events and things even with how much I try to stay on top of them. I cannot remember birthdays, faces, or names. People get offended I don’t know their birthday but I do remember that you like this one band. I don’t control what I do and don’t remember.

I would never blame my actions on dissociation, I still try and live my life and be kind to everyone but that means that I do forget everyday things sometimes. I’ll forget a task at work I always do or say something and not even hear myself. My voice and hands are often distant and fuzzy even when I’m not switching.

My dissociation is SEVERE and gaps in my memories appear without me knowing. I’ve forgotten whole movies, days, there are months, near years missing from my life, and no one has that info, not another later, not a gatekeeper, it’s just gone.

It's not just about the alters.

[spacetransportationsystem]

sys culture is damn if i’m allowed to remember that then how bad was the shit my mind is hiding from me

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[spacetransportationsystem]

System culture is thinking you know about your trauma, and then finding more alters that flip your whole understanding of your childhood upsidedown

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[spacetransportationsystem]

i seriously dont like how there are so many expectations/stereotypes coming from others regarding systems, whether theyre "seemingly harmless" or not

alters (especially littles and persecutors), integration, communication, innerworld, habits and whatnot

"you have littles? they must love being babied!!"

"oh you're a system? *starts walking on eggshells around the said person*"

"oh you're a fictive? *immediately talks about the source*"

"can you tell (alter) this and that?"

but when it comes to symptoms such as dissociation, amnesia/blackouts or distress, etc, people are dismissive of it, not willing to listen at all

[spacetransportationsystem]

why did horrible things happen and now there’s a 6ft something brick of a man with floppy dog ears, a fluffy tail, and a gun in my head stop it

DID works in mysterious ways like why did horrible things happen and now there's a cat femboy in my head stop it

[spacetransportationsystem]

Let's stop objectifying parts because of their introjected traits!

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HELP???

i mean yeah... yeah it is

Why are there bats???? 🦇

i ask myself that question every day

[spacetransportationsystem]

Shout out to all the kids who always picked shape-shifting as their hypothetical power growing up and assumed it was for gender affirmation but now realize it was also a plurality thing.

[spacetransportationsystem]

system culture is doubting yourself due to your splitting patterns seeming to double after getting the proper tools to keep track of alters - only to have the sinking realization that you probably shouldn't know about most of the alters you have written down, and suddenly the system has a horrible headache and heavy dissociation for a week straight.

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[spacetransportationsystem]

host: oh god i cant stop freaking out i cant stop freaking out oh god this is unbearable

protector: hello

protector: wow what a strange bodily feeling to go from extreme dysregulation to just vibing, almost like this is a psychiatric disorder

host waking up 8 hours later, experiencing dissociative amnesia: surely i cant have DID

[spacetransportationsystem]

my DID experiences (that aren't TMI) are

waking up in an outfit totally different from your preferred style

thinking it's wednesday one day of the week when you're actually 3 days off, not sure if you were gone for three days or more without checking the numbered calendar

people you've never spoken to or even know their name waving to you in hallways

people claiming you go by names you've never gone by a day in your life

forgetting key details about loved ones (favorite shows, their birthdays, eye color)

notes you don't remember making and finding out it's something another part wrote

a part getting into arguments online and leaving you to deal with it not knowing anything about the topic

random flashbacks of my childhood that last for a few minutes, then suddenly go away

parts hiding objects or misplacing them (like the poster we got from a concert that one time...)

finding recordings of yourself that you have no memory of

as you can see, a lot of fucking amnesia

parts voices randomly commenting on things and ruining your concentration

not being able to pick an outfit since different parts in co-front want to wear different things

not being able to remember quarantine due to being stuck at home

most of these happened before we even knew of our system, and we just thought it was normal because it's what we've always known lol

[spacetransportationsystem]

Sys culture is thinking you showered yesterday, but 'yesterday' was four days ago

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we fucking have this

so far there are 3 of them and they’re just the same guy but slightly different

you’ve got:

the standard canon version

the tumblr au version

the baby

can we get someone else for fucks sake

the

The subsystems but they are all clones or some variation of you and it’s just the spiderman meme

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[spacetransportationsystem]

introject culture is your friend group obsessing over your source/you in source and having to sit by and be like “haha yeah” uncomfortably

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friendly reminder to not get involved/interact in endo bullshit.

block them.

they will not listen, they will not change.

ignore them.

[spacetransportationsystem]

what some people don’t understand about plurality is that it’s not SUPPOSED to happen. plurality only exists in those who have had at ONE POINT in their life had did/osdd. it is a DISORDER, not something you put on your tumblr to identify yourself with. there is so much more with DID than just being plural and having alters, it’s the memory loss, the flashbacks, the dissociation.