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I know realistically what actually happened is probably that Esther just wanted Monty to ingratiate himself into the group and Monty himself just decided to start flirting with Edwin of his own volition, which is funny enough on its own, but I really do think sometimes about Esther creating human Monty as specifically a honeypot for her revenge plan, because that leaves us with two more hilarious options - either Esther instructed him to flirt specifically with Edwin (which means she, much like everyone else in this damn town, clocked him in about two seconds but like. when he wasn’t even doing anything particularly telling lmao), or she crafted him to be attractive to any of the three he happened to bump into first (which implies that Esther is certain that all three of them are into guys from that same brief encounter) and I honestly don’t know which is funnier.

Again, realistically I know it’s the first but the last one makes me cackle because it’s literally just

Esther, waving her hand dismissively: “Okay now go bump into whoever and lay on the charm I’ve got an evil mushroom to grow”

Monty, already packing his astrology books: “on it boss” 🫡

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I guess all three of us lost our lives to boys who went too far.

Dead Boy Detectives x Greek Mythology: Crystal Palace as Cassandra

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when crystal firsts meets niko, she sees all those pink sparkly things and I DO NOT CARE if it’s paranormal parasites and not sapphic love, there is nothing heterosexual about the way crystal says ‘i’m right across the hall’. nothing.

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I'm having too much fun

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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Dbd payneland idea #837282:

Someone offers Edwin a magic potion that erases unwanted romantic feelings within a week, and the only antidote is a true love's kiss before the deadline (or a kiss from the object of one's affection).

Edwin takes it and happily announces to Charles that in a week's time he'll be rid of his romantic feelings for him, only his platonic love for Charles remaining, so that the younger ghost doesn't have to worry about Edwin's confession in hell anymore.

And Charles's first reaction is horror. The idea of Edwin no longer loving him for some reason seems terrifying and just plain awful to him, even after he's reassured that the platonic one will remain intact. He wants to respect his friend's choice and for Edwin to be happy and free of the burden that his feelings for Charles apparently were.

But Charles just can't ignore how the whole situation makes him feel as cold as he was on the day of his death, so he starts to question himself. Does it mean he also has romantic feelings for Edwin or is he just scared that it might change how Edwin sees him? Is there a chance for them? So he takes it upon himself to spend the week analyzing his emotions and reflecting on their time together to figure out what he truly wants.

Needless to say, he figures it out on day 7. He absolutely is in love with Edwin. He has to rush to spill his feelings to the other boy before the time is up, has to convince Edwin he really means it, he's absolutely sure, so could Edwin please just kiss him already?!

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Dbd payneland idea #837282:

Someone offers Edwin a magic potion that erases unwanted romantic feelings within a week, and the only antidote is a true love's kiss before the deadline (or a kiss from the object of one's affection).

Edwin takes it and happily announces to Charles that in a week's time he'll be rid of his romantic feelings for him, only his platonic love for Charles remaining, so that the younger ghost doesn't have to worry about Edwin's confession in hell anymore.

And Charles's first reaction is horror. The idea of Edwin no longer loving him for some reason seems terrifying and just plain awful to him, even after he's reassured that the platonic one will remain intact. He wants to respect his friend's choice and for Edwin to be happy and free of the burden that his feelings for Charles apparently were.

But Charles just can't ignore how the whole situation makes him feel as cold as he was on the day of his death, so he starts to question himself. Does it mean he also has romantic feelings for Edwin or is he just scared that it might change how Edwin sees him? Is there a chance for them? So he takes it upon himself to spend the week analyzing his emotions and reflecting on their time together to figure out what he truly wants.

Needless to say, he figures it out on day 7. He absolutely is in love with Edwin. He has to rush to spill his feelings to the other boy before the time is up, has to convince Edwin he really means it, he's absolutely sure, so could Edwin please just kiss him already?!

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In today's episode of Edits I Will Never Make (Because I Don't Have The Skill) I propose: Treacherous Payneland (DBD) edit

This entire bridge is just episode 7 compressed

Don't even try to deny it, I can see it in my mind as clear as a day

The "two headlights" with the lanterns parallel? "I'll follow you home" and basically the whole hell escapade? Your honour I'm all too unwell

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Jenny: Why are Charles and Edwin sitting with their backs to each other?

Crystal: They had a fight.

Jenny: Then why are they holding hands?

Niko: They get sad when they fight.

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glad to see that a lot of people were disappointed by the fact that Niko’s colourful lights were not her lesbian vibes but just some parasites

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you guys are like a dead married couple on acid

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I appreciate that the witch in Dead Boy Detectives wants to be a god but only of like, one town

she has realistic goals like Dr Doofinshmirtz whose ambitions were limited to the tri-state area.

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dead boy detectives textposts part 10

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Crystal being too young to know how a VHS works and Edwin too old is my favorite underrated joke of the whole show

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Charles Rowland comparing him and his "platonic best friend" to Orpheus and Eurydice 0.002 seconds before saying he's not in love with him is truly just the most out of pocket moment

Like sir what kind of denial are you on and can i have some

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dead boy detectives textposts part 9

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Charles really went into hell with a few lit molotov cocktails in his ludicrously capacious bag, a tiny notebook Edwin dropped like loot when he was taken that he ignored half the time, and a dream.

like he had no idea what creatures he would be up against when he got there but he locked eyes with the huge spider made of baby doll parts and thought, yeah that looks like something I can throw a bomb at and he did. And it worked.