sparklingrayn

[sparklingrayn]

Gonna start posting on my mainblog lmao, I'll have this one for other stuff ig

[sparklingrayn]

Isn't menhera just short for mental healther on jp 4chan/2chan?

I'm a jirai, and I think that menhera as a concept is an ablest idea made to make suicidal urges and self harm and stuff are bad, but Christ I wouldn't actively try to bring others down with me that's just rude

Menhera was made before jirai as a way of coping its not ablest to want to get better. Which is where jirai and menhera split its like mentally ill is u wanna get better its more menhera but if u wanna get worse/dont care about getting better its more jirai

[sparklingrayn]

I am so borrred

I want to drink and get messed up!!!!

I want gummies to pass the time!!!

He won't even be on headset so theres nothing to do, i forgot how i lived before him

[sparklingrayn]

I want to drink... please let me drink im so sad

[sparklingrayn]

God i want to drink so bad

I can't have edibles anymore, that was literally the only thing keeping me away from drinking

[sparklingrayn]

What wearing? Just underwear><

Wish to be wearing? I am free and content rn

Situation? Watching kaguya sama with my bf on vrchat and some warhammer40k painting videos

Favorite clothes? Girly kei and ouji fashion? Subcul fashion of anytime is fun, as long as I feel cute♡

Tags? Anyone who sees this (moots&followers):3

I’m bored let’s make a reblog chain

what are u wearing rn:

what you wish you’d be wearing (does not matter how expensive or outlandish id be):

what situation/place are you at rn:

favorite clothing style(s) all around:

I’ll begin:

wearing rn: dark green cargo pants, trekking shoes, light blue shirt and dark blue jacket

what I wish I’d be wearing: dark green cargo pants, dark green jacket with more pockets, combat boots

situation rn: traveling

fav style: mix of street ware/millitary esque (comfy and efficient don’t judge me) or dark academia + cottage core

Tagging some ppl to get this started: +OPEN TAGS (if ur tagged feel free to not do it no pressure)

@im-a-sentient-magic-carpet @daggerhobbit

@thecrazyalchemist @enochianghost @just--a--random--human--being @hadoom @uwathebestgirl @pennyroyald @hyperfixationbullshit

@wolffuwu @rp-rs @styxwaow @asters-tempo

[sparklingrayn]

Jirai reference?

you what

[sparklingrayn]

i wanna get drunk,,,

[sparklingrayn]

I decided to quit edibles

What should i replace it with?

Only thing I can think of is doing performances again

Maybe vtubeing or becoming an independent musician????

Weh

[sparklingrayn]

I think we were moots but i lost my account :/

Ye! Welcome back!!

Forgor that you need to follow me back to become moots lmao

[sparklingrayn]

What if I started up Vtubing again?

I can work hard><

Working on a vroid model rn and I'll import it to vrchat

[sparklingrayn]

[sparklingrayn]

ive said this a few times now but like

making stuff a floret "need to make mistress proud" thing really makes it so much easier

the idea of showering (which i will do after this) seems genuinely really appealing right now, because i imagined how proud mistress would be for me overcoming executive dysfunction and getting an important thing done

something something immediate internal reward? idk

[sparklingrayn]

Is it unusual that i got so upset i had to stop watching an urban exploration video because the building was heavily vandalised like destroyed?

Im ok with graffiti, i think, but the walls were purposefully ruined and smashed:(

[sparklingrayn]

Do i even deserve that money though. I feel so disconnected from my indigenous status... i grew up in a white ladies house from ages 4-19

[sparklingrayn]

Random thing...As an indigenous gal, im I eligible for that cs claim?

I grew up in the foster system...apparently i was taken when i wasn't living in a reserve but ordinarily i think i would've...I think. I don't know much about my past, I feel so confused about everything .

Another cause of exempt from the claim is if the removal was caused from abuse (excluding neglect and emotional abuse for some reason)

I wasn't....mistreated in the foster system...my boyfriend tells me other wise. But I could've had it far worse you know? I know some kids bounced house to house and no one helped them with their mental health or anything.

Its just...It'll be nice if i could get $30,000 monies from *staying* in the system until I grew out of it. I didn't even get much help getting out of my old home into my apartment besides getting my furniture inside and getting some free stuff (birthday and Christmas gifts of moving out stuff)

Another area of money im entitled to is cows and plows money. I think i get more money from that, honestly. Don't know when it's being distributed, though. Apparently, there's also money from my band that's getting handed out sometime Christmas or next year. My brother is dating and has three kids with the chiefs daughter, so I got a bit of inside information, hehe.

I hope i get it before next year. Moving in my boyfriend would become so much easier i think.

M-maybe I can get a house? Or move into a bigger apartment first, then in the future get a house?? At the end though, It'll be nice to live without worrying about money.

[sparklingrayn]

if the video is of an animal. and the caption says "sound on". and the audio is not the animal, but is instead some song? i am killing you. i am blowing you up with my mind. all of my concentration is injecting one, specific, vulnerable part of your brain and exploding it at full force until you die to death.