sparksnevadas

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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me contemplating the human condition

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testosterone tuesday

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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time to bring back a classic.

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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“women don’t have the capacity for misogyny” have you ever met a mother

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losing it bc Saga went to get us lunch and tried to type “you got sprite, boss” and sent this instead. you got a spore. Bitch

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Tumblr 2021: he is SO soppinf wet, my scrimpy little fiction boy

Tumblr 2025: sodomizing and spanking that man #TheCharacter

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24/06/25

just cub being cub

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sigh

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i spilled pasta in my backpack and got so mad that i made a traumacore edit about it

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Genuine friendly summer reminder for my fellow fat people.

We have more body than skinny people so we also contain more water and therefore need to drink more. 2 Litres is something skinny people need to drink we need more. I aim for 4 litres a day.

While any waterbased liquid is good try to not drink all 4 litres in coke or soda. I absolutley do recommend sport drinks or similar things. Fat people like us, or at least me, sweat a lot in this heat even without sport. Refill those electrolytes. Your body will thank you.

My go to drink at home is a 2 litre jug of water with just enough store bought raspberry or orange syrup that it has a taste thats not water.

Please stay hydrated in this heat and take care of your body. Its the only one you have.

(If you clown on fat people in tags/replies/comments I will hunt you for sport)

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i’m a weird little guy married to a very normal guy. so sometimes when i partake in weird little guy behavior and mr. normal guy doesn’t say anything i’ll turn to him and say, “are you not endeared by me?” and every single time without fail he responds, “i’m very endeared by you, sweetheart.”

until today.

i was in the kitchen with the lights off frog-squatted in front of the open fridge door eating a cold rotisserie chicken straight from the bag with my bare hands. you know. like god intended.

so when he walks into the kitchen and spots me his step falters. and i look up at him grinning with rotisserie chicken particles on my face and say, “what? are you not endeared by me?”

he looks at me for a moment longer before saying, “no.” and walking out, forgetting about whatever it was he came in there for.

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I love it when women tell me they just finalized their divorce. ESPECIALLY older women. The correct response is always “congratulations” and they always seem so pleasantly surprised, they just seem to light right up and talk about how happy they are, what their plans are, how well they’re doing. I’ve only ever met like 1 person who was upset to be divorced and it was a middle-aged dude. Second most exciting is young men. A 25 year old guy says he just got divorced and you go “congratulations” and he SMILES? You KNOW there’s a story. I love it. People should get divorced more

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mumbo and grian break hungry hermits (...doing nothing)

original audio from grian's hungry hermits w/ mumbo video

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the five homoerotic love languages:

- intimate stabbing

- outright obsession

- confused pining

- "no one knows me like you do"

- lifelong promises that always sound suspiciously like wedding vows