spartanmuffin

[spartanmuffin]

Here we are again.

Sitting at the doctors feeling like a bit of a mess. This is my 2nd day off in a row and I'm feeling quite sheepish. My boss wants me to go to emergency to make sure I'm ok, sure my head feels like it's going to explode but I don't think it's anything serious.

I've been tired, stressed, depressed, anxious, rushed, and honestly I'm not taking very good care of myself.

Time to change? Heh probably.

The gp I saw last night said that it's more than likely stress. I can't blame him for thinking that. With work, family, fresh break up, friends constantly at me for attention it's no wonder I want a couple of days alone.

I could say I'm going to work out, eat better, and rock stuff in general. But lets face it, I've said that before.

[spartanmuffin]

16-10-2014

Well here we go. My last post that wasn't a repost of something someone else posted said I'd use this as a journal. Lets face it, I posted it and then completely forgot about it.

So what's been happening in the wonderful world of SM?

HEAPS!

1. I got a new job. No more being bullied at work by a supervisor only capable of ensuring take away foods of her liking are delivered each night and hello to a manager who is not only a people person, but genuinely cares for each and every one of his immediate employees.

The new job is great. Heaps of perks like cheap gym membership, end of month drinks, cheap health insurance, monthly cake day, and regular bonuses just for doing your job! The hours I chose are tough on me but I wanted that loading so I'll suck it up for now.

2. My grandfather has cancer. Not the best news really but we all suspected the ear was upto something it shouldn't have been. Heartbreakingly my papa isn't willing to try any form of treatment at all so he's in palliative care until he's well enough to come and live with us - if that day ever comes.

It's not easy seeing the man you idolized as a child being reduced to that. He keeps telling me that ever person has their time to die, I just wish he would at least try the radiotherapy to lessen his pain as constant morphine is making him less and less coherent as the days progress. The man I know has turned into someone I don't know and it terrifies me. I know I'm going to lose him, I just wish there was some dignity in death. But then again I've probably been reading too many stories where the heros tale never ends like this.

3. I'm now single. Ten days ago I left my partner of nearly 2 years. While it was a turbulent display of emotions for me, I'm sure he is feeling it just as much.

The problem with dating someone who is so incredibly different on fundamental levels is that there is always going to be someone sacrificing their dreams/goals/desires to be together. In my case there was always something I had to do to make things work. Have the horses in full care more often, drive 40 minutes every week to see him, have more money to go out, have more energy to go out, get out of debt, cook dinner, clean up, and build a wall against off hand comments about my body.

I'll write a cathartic post about this later. Hindsight is giving me some mad 20/20 vision. For now lets just say that I'm lonlier now, but I'm much more muchier. 4. My health has been a crazy ass mess. Anxiety, depression, up 10kg with my new sit down all day job, and yet down 4kg this week by eating better.

I'm impatiently waiting to bring my horses home. Fences, sheds, slashing, and some quality time with dumped tree limbs and a chainsaw are all that stand in my path. My now exs best mate is helping me, and before you raise an eyebrow know he's the biggest 40 year old child you'll ever meet and is totally taken. Plus I'm not that kinda gal anymore.

I like to think that when they come home I'll have more time for me and not just the things I've gotta do. Morning workouts for one would be nice. Right now I'm sat at the stables and it's 0830, I got up 2 hours ago and arrived here at 0730 to feed and muck out. It's a day off but I'll be on the road again shortly to other appointments and I'm really good at making excuses ok?

My Brandeh's mum (wait till I blog about my Brandeh) told me that by the end of this year I'd have grown a lot. I'd know what I'll accept and what I won't. I think she meant in regards to men, we were talking about relationships and the woman has some amazing psychic links, but I like to think it's hit me in all areas of life.

It's been a big few weeks. Lets see what the next few bring hey?

[spartanmuffin]

Comparing your relationship to Romeo and Juliet to express how in love you are is kind of like using Hamlet to demonstrate how close and well-adjusted your family life is

[spartanmuffin]

I think it's time to start a journal, or use this more as a personal venting space. Lots happening around me and my mind is messier than my bedroom floor! After work I'll vent and hopefull have a peaceful sleep

[spartanmuffin]

Lurve the green!

Zuhair Murad - Fall Winter 2013 2014

[spartanmuffin]

Winter has hit me. All I want to do is lounge around by the fire and eat all the hot goodness till I burst. Come on brain, lets not put on kgs this winter. I've enough "coverage" to survive an ice age!

If you help me do this, I'll make sure you get those endorphins you love so much hey. Who likes endorphins? That's right, you do! Now make me put the chocolate down!

[spartanmuffin]

This made me squee

[spartanmuffin]

[spartanmuffin]

Being on my Fitness Journey

Some days I feel like

and somedays I feel like

[spartanmuffin]

So I've been pretty bummed out lately, feeling like everything is too hard and that I need to be in 3 places at once at all times to have my life moving smoothly. My partner and I nearly split up last night because we have grown so far apart over the last few months. Might sound hard for it to not be noticed over months but we only see each other once a week so it happened slowly without either of us noticing till I flipped the hell out over things. We decided to up it to 3 nights a week including week nights when I work with the hopes of building to a full time living arrangement. Exercise and health wise I have sucked at for weeks now. Thankfully I've not gained more than 1-2kg back so I am not stressing too much. To date I have lost 17kg from my heaviest and am setting a realistic goal of another 10-15kg in the next 7 months. I actually want to get back to walking and running but after running 2 weeks ago and slightly tearing a hip muscle I realise now I can't just jump back on the wagon like I used to. I have to rebuild. So its off the treadmill (scary for me, I hate people seeing me work out but tough I gotta do this) and into the world walking and jogging when I can. Food, well that delicious bitch has plagued me for more than a few weeks. Think take away, energy drinks, high sugar, high fat, omg get in me now totally screwing with my body shit. I'm not saying no more, realistically I am going to eat crap food again. I tend to go from "HELL YEAH LETS DO THIS" to "ugh I cbf" within 2 weeks. I need to find a happy medium to balance and maintain

[spartanmuffin]

Do’s and Don’ts of a Successful Fitness Plan

Do

Write down your fitness goals. You’re more likely to stick with a program once you have set some specific goals.

Always strive to eat a well balanced diet that includes ample servings of vegetables and fruit.

Break down your meals so you are eating several mini meals per day.

Assess your current fitness level before starting an exercise program. By doing so, you’ll be able to establish goals that meet your specific fitness needs.

Consider talking with your health care provider before embarking on a fitness program, particularly if you are struggling with a health condition such as diabetes or obesity.

Supplement your diet with essential fatty acids. You can do this by eating two servings of fish per week.

Choose alternatives to satisfy your cravings when possible. Consider frozen fruit over ice cream or opt for a mini chocolate instead of the whole candy bar.

Always warm up before and stretch after your exercise routine.

Don’t overdo it! Try doing too much at once and you’ll burn out swiftly. Slowly increase the intensity of your workouts.

Diversify your workout routine. If you do the same exercises day after day, you’ll quickly tire and are more likely to skip workouts.

Work out with a friend. You’ll help motivate each other.

Keep healthy snacks available at all times. You’re less likely to grab junk food if something good for you is readily available.

Don’t

Over-train. Your body needs time to recover in between workouts.

Skip breakfast. Eating breakfast will jump start your metabolism and provide you with the energy you need to get through the day.

Skip stretching.

Skimp on sleep.

Set unrealistic goals. A healthy rate of weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week. If you have 50 pounds to lose, don’t expect it to come off overnight, you’ll set yourself up for disappointment.

Compare your successes and failures to others. Everyone is unique, and what works for some may not work for others.

Work out randomly. Work out regularly to maximize the benefits you’ll reap from a consistent fitness routine.

Give up. Consider talking with a friend in times of discouragement.

Forget to reward yourself on occasion.

[spartanmuffin]

I like the mission impossible style :D

30 Plank Exercises To Shock Your Core (And Body)

Spider-Woman Plank

Plank Up-Downs (“Hell Raisers”)

Side Plank Toe Touches

Tom Cruise Plank (Mission Impossible Style)

See the other 26 plank styles HERE at Lifting Revolution.Com

[spartanmuffin]

Good plan for beginners! I’m going to to start using this next week:)

[spartanmuffin]

Fell off the exercise wagon heaps badly and then went for a run and pulled a muscle in my hip. Going to go back to walking and LIGHT jogging and not make my first session back a "lets see how far we can run before we have to stop" session. In other news I am thinking about doing a "day in pictures" so I can show myself (and anyone following) what it is I am doing this for (on top of the whole doing it for me because I deserve it thing).

[spartanmuffin]

Have to remember this on my next baking adventure!

Substitutes are Amazing Not only are there easy ways to avoid all the crap out there, but there are great ways to swap in some health 101 with some of these great substitutes!

Swapping out icky and cheap-o foods for healthy and nutrient rich super-foods is a sure fire way to clean up your diet. Making small changes to your recipes can really make a difference as to the nutritional value that your meal has for you. The substitues take out refined and nutritionally-empty foods by replacing them with whole and nutrient-dense healing foods. Not only super healthy, these little swaps can truly enrich a recipe taking it from par to parfect in no time ;) Try some of these switcheroos on your next kitchen adventure! Easy Cooking & Baking Substitutes * milk & sugar - for almond & coconut milk {for tea/coffee} * 1 egg - for 1 tbsp. chia seed & 1 tbsp. water * vegetable oil (baking) - organic coconut oil * vegetable oil (cooking) - organic red palm oil * cream sauce - puréed cashews {spices to taste} * table salt - for Himalayan salt or pink crystal salt * flour (baking) - brown rice protein flour or coconut flour * flour (cooking) - hemp flour Swaps for Snacking Success * potato chips - kale chips {tons of flavours to chose from these days!} * chocolate bar - raw super-food chocolate or organic chocolate {personal favourite : Organic Fair chocolate bars come in delicious & nutritious flavours and are Canadian!} * sodas - kombucha tea {alkalizing, refreshing, energizing} * gatorade - coconut water * orange juice (from concentrate) - fresh squeezed veggie & fruit juice {raw juicing} coffee - organic green, oolong, rouibos, white or pureh teas * wheat bread - for organic sprouted grain breads {sprouted=living nutrition}

[spartanmuffin]

[spartanmuffin]

whether the answer is yes or no, or a mix of the both, i wanted to remind you that you’re great. here is some stuff that i thought might be helpful if you ever feel down or bored or just wanna try something new!!

playlists // don’t be down / happy, happy, happy / cheer up!! / feeling down? / upbeat / for when you’re feeling sad.. / be happy! / songs to listen to when you are feeling sad. / anxiety/panic attacks / dashboard session / nostalgic. / it’s okay, not be okay. / anxiety’s lullaby / don’t be sad / songs that make you feel better / hey man, it’ll be okay. / note to self. / forget about it / baby don’t cut / can’t be unhappy 

cheering up // emergency compliment!! / paying for people’s groceries / random acts of kindness caught on film / free hugs experiment / tipping servers $200 / little acts of kindness / 27 videos that will make you happy / givesmehope / textpost blog!! / the everything post / repeat after me. / feel like you lost something? / you are not alone. / just listen to this / cute yahoo answers / nail art tuts / bad x-factor auditions / need a hug?  / you can do anything 

cool stuff // music thing / how to lucid dream!! / teach yourself guitar (wow) / learn a new language / creepy websites / the color game / make a mind palace / explore the world / make a temporary tattoo! / musical sea creature // babies experiencing things / 7 day positive challenge / if you forgot how beautiful the world is / draw a nebula / watch documentaries / sugar cookies recipe / 100 things to do / anasomnia / kawaii emotions / 100+ games / make your own font

depression // how to love yourself / alternatives to self harm / what am i feeling? / if you feel like crap / dealing with depression / let go of your past. / what is depression? / depression & cutting/things to do instead of cutting / alternatives to self harm / the cure to sadness! (in under 3 minutes) / things to do when you’re sad  / feel good 101: depression/ stop cutting, create instead

anxiety/stress // soundrown / build stuff with sand / rainymood / chill out / zen garden / managing stress / social anxiety tips / PTSD forums / anti-anxiety masterpost / a place to think / calming manatee / the dawn room / 100,000 stars / types of anxiety disorders / anxiety attack tips / anti-anxiety foods / using a thought diary / panic attacks & anxiety /

eating disorders // bloating in recovery  / why you must eat / what is ED recovery? / learning to love your body / how to eat a fear food / helping someone with an eating disorder / 281 reasons to recover /

asking for help // telling people how you’re feeling / how do i tell someone when im afraid? /  how to ask for help / anxiety forums / 

movies, documentaries, tv // action movies / disney movies / scary movies / movies for angsty teens / my mad, fat diary / mean girls / blue is the warmest color / submarine / teen wolf / the vampire diaries / pretty little liars / american horror story / bob’s burgers / the mindy project / ultimate teen movie masterpost / hannah montana / sherlock / american beauty