spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

"Wait I didn't hear anything of Heidi Klum's Halloween costume this year, lemme just google tha-"

you know what? nevermind.

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

And y’all want me to vote for this dude?

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

damn ok lake superior

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

its friday bitches tonight finna be a movie

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, how the fuck would you even enforce that?

"Oh want to use the bathroom? I'll just need you to produce an egg real quick".

Reddit thread

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

My favourite bits of Tumblr slang are the ones that sound like they’d just be Starfire from Teen Titans’ actual, legit word for that thing.

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

horny on side: honorable. keeps work and private separate. 

horny on main: respectable. the sign of someone true to themselves. 

horny on someone else’s posts: unforgivable and punishable by death in 74 countries.

[spawn-of-satan-ass-bitch]

My buddy got fucked up and i dont think hes gonna make it