spcnscr - Tumblr blog

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is this blog active?

yes. I promise I'm still active here, just school & work has kept me from keeping up with posting here.

if you want to contact me more easily my discord is the way to go.

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clay hadn't been present during the mexico mission, he'd point blank refused graves' request for him to be there. he had enough of being used to cover up and take the fall for other's poorly planed mistakes in the navy. thankfully he got placed on another contract. but that didn't mean they didn't watch with angry hearts how those brits tore through their fellows.

but clay knew both sides were guilty, that was the nature of picking up guns. 'they were all just doing their jobs', that was the pragmatic truth.

he was squinting in concentration while listening to the scotsman, off all the accents clay could navigate with ease . . . this wasn't one of them. ❝ well do you want me to tell you the plan? or are you just going to say 'fuck it' and do what you want? ❞

for as much as he could be professional and not remind soap that both of them had good reasons to not trust each other, clay also didn't care to argue moral semantics. if soap wanted to just run this mission his own way clay could work with that, he just wanted to know up front.

❛ if you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask stupid questions ❜ (from shadow co clay) || @spcnscr

“Oh, aye, how could I be so silly. Forgive me oh smart one, I’ll nae be stupid ‘round ye again.” Being a smart ass? Oh, definitely and unnecessarily so, but he was grumpy about the situation. And determined to make the experience about as painful as possible.

Professionalism? Eh, it was still somewhat there, but it didn’t mean that he had to like being made to work with any of these bastards after Mexico.

“If I’m nae gonna be askin’ stupid questions, then best y’ start giving the stupid commands.” Arms crossed, he leaned against the table and nodded. “Yer thoughts, too. ‘cause like I said: Nae gonna be askin’ stupid questions.”

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A rough timeline for Clay's life:

March 29, 1989 - Born, likely in VA Beach since his father Ash Spenser was on team 6/DEVGRU. Though it's also possible he was born in the San Diego area. The show isn't really clear about this.

Sometime 1994 - Ash Spenser fully abandons Clay and his mother. For a reason not stated other than "being unable to care for him" Clay is sent to live with his maternal grandparents who are missionaries in Liberia.

1994-200? - Clay lives in Liberia with his missionary grandparents, here he picks up several languages.

2001 - Clay is back in the US with his father Ash and thinks he's going to stay. However, 9/11 happens and Ash sends Clay back to his grandparents, it is assumed his grandparents are still in Liberia.

2001-200? - The show isn't clear when Clay fully returns to the US. I write him as returning to the US as 16/17 years old and speaking to a Navy recruit who sets him on the track of getting his GED and paperwork sorted.

2007 - It can be assumed Clay joined the Navy as soon as he turned 18 years old.

2007-2009 - It takes about two years and some change to become a fully trained SEAL, Clay is a "full fledged" SEAL by the time he's 20 years old

2009-2017 - Clay is on Team 3 based in California. He was Chalk 2, Alpha Platoon by the time he left Team 3.

2017 - Clay starts Green Team (DEVGRU selection) alongside his best friend Brian Armstrong

Sometime During 2017:

Brian Armstrong dies during a training accident. Clay runs a mission with Bravo Team as a "strap" and clashes with pretty much everyone.

late 2017/2018 - Clay is selected by Bravo team and joins them as Bravo 6.

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ODDLY SPECIFIC HEADCANONS : " What is their favorite piece of technology? "

this is a tie between his phone and his kindle. clay loves that his phone can give him answers to just about any question he can think of, he likes knowing and learning things so having what's basically a supercomputer in his back pocket he likes. but he also really loves his kindle, it an older model and one of the first things he bought himself as a 'gift'. he loves reading and carrying around a ton of books is just a hassle, so the kindle makes it easy. plus he can bring it along on deployments and such because it's not a super fancy piece of technology or anything.

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50 oddly specific headcanon asks.

Send me a number! (some slightly nsfw) || specify muse if needed

How does your muse feel about seafood?

What is their favorite piece of technology?

When did they lose their virginity?

Was their anything their parents pushed them to do? (e.g. sports, theatre, band)

Describe your muse’s worst nightmare.

What is a deal-breaker when it comes to dating someone?

What was the most embarrassing moment in your muse’s life?

What keeps your muse up at night?

What chronic illnesses does your muse have, if any?

Does your muse get carsick?

Does your muse wear glasses/contacts?

What are some warning signs that your muse is getting depressed? 

What is your muse’s favorite candy?

Does your muse have a “victory song” and if so, what is it?

Who do they tend to bicker with the most?

Has your muse ever been hospitalized or institutionalized? 

Does your muse pray, whether it be to a god or some other force?

Has your muse ever lived in poverty?

Do they have any distinct voice mannerisms? (e.g. saying ‘like’ or ‘um’ a lot, stutters) 

Where are your muse’s ancestors from? Do they keep any of their traditions?

When did your muse learn about sex?

What is your muse most thankful for?

What shoe size is your muse?

Does your muse hate their middle name? \ What is it?

How many hours a day do they spend on the internet/watching TV?

Does your muse have any trophies?

If your muse was given the opportunity to go sky diving, would they?

What is the most common lie your muse tells themselves?

Has your muse ever had a pet? If so, what type?

Who was your muse’s first kiss?

What is your muse’s first memory?

How does your muse feel about crocs?

What are your muse’s biggest pet peeves?

What was your muse’s happiest birthday?

Does your muse cross their legs/ankles when they sit?

What simple task is your muse surprisingly bad at?

Did your muse ever own a Tamagatchi?

What was your muses’s first job?

Does your muse usually go for truth or dare?

Has your muse ever been to a concert?

What is your muse’s favorite holiday?

Does your muse reply to scary chain emails/messages?

Describe the first person your muse remembers losing.

Would your muse ever roleplay?

What is your muse’s Hogwarts house?

What is your muse’s first thought upon waking up?

Name a song your muse can sing every word to. 

Who would your muse sacrifice themselves for, if anybody?

How long is your muse’s penis? || What bra size is your muse?

If your muse could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

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Will you be writing anything more of the linger in the shadows? I really enjoyed it.

boyyyyyyyyy im so late answering this question im so sorry. so that big post was really an intro to clay's 'call of duty' verse, but I really liked writing that so I might actually write a few more posts for it . . . just depends when I have the time to do so.

but keep an eye out!

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somebody, i'm begging, let me write shadow company clay.

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clay was only 12 when 9/11 happened and since he was living in liberia with his missionary grandparents he didn't find out about what happened for a few days. even then, it was most just 'lets pray for those who died'. he doesn't have much context of pre/post-9/11 because where he lived it wasn't much effected. it's something that sends so many people he meets in the navy for a loop. because he's right in the age group of kids who joined because 9/11 happened during their childhood but he doesn't have the same experience as everyone.

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what's wild is that clay is only just 28 when he gets onto green team for DEVGRU. he is, quiet literally, closer in age to one of jason's kids then he is to jason himself.

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I’m appreciating his rack

respectfully or disrespectfully??

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YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU LOSE IT. the statement is right to an extent but clay knew how special bravo team was, even more so then how special team 3 had been. it wasn't an exaggeration to call the team a family. a somewhat dysfunctional and troubled family, but they'd be there. he thought there was no caveat to that rule, it was almost sacred in a sense. no matter what arguments had happened the day before or whatever personal shit was going down, when someone needed the team you were there. if it was naima needing an extra hand with the kids or sonny needing a late-night pick up or lisa needing help moving, you were there because you were part of bravo. no ifs, ands, or buts.

the revelation that there was a HUGE caveat to the team culture of "be there" hurt. clay knew he tended to be more private about his pre-navy years, too many complicated feelings surrounding everything he went through. but he'd shared bits and pieces with the team, he knew they were aware of his less then stellar and less then familial relationship with his father, one ash spenser. or, well, he thought they knew that. turns out that the second ash spenser opened his big fat narcissistic mouth claiming he had an "inside source" to the teams clay was found guilty.

did he try and tell them it wasn't him? yeah. but they didn't listen. and it hurt. clay thought he knew what this type of hurt felt like, having been abandoned by a father and a mother who wasted away. but losing bravo hurt worse, that sort of hurt where he realized they weren't going to look out for him the way he was still going to look out for them.

then there was the second looming decision about if he wanted to renew and extend his contract.

he didn't mean to run EDWARD WHITAKER again, but wasn't unhappy about seeing the man again. they'd first met during clay's 'suspension from bravo when he was removed from the 'removal' from bravo when he was sent to COP Redding. the two get talking, or at least, clay gets ed talking about what he's doing and is surprised to hear that the man 'retired' from the 101st Airborne and went the private contracting route.

SHADOW COMPANY is a group he's heard of before, he'd never paid much attention towards it because he'd always thought his career would stay completely in the SEALs but recent events had . . broken that belief. spurred on by something clay tell ed that the end of his contract with the navy is coming up and that, well, clay spills the beans about what's going on with bravo. ed gives him a sympathetic ear and after a moment of silences says something that shakes clay "if you keep going out with them like this they're going to kill you" and it upset clay because he knew that, somewhere deep down he knew that but having someone else listen and notice the same thing? it meant that the threat was imminent. and for all his seemingly reckless behavior clay didn't actually have a death wish.

the two of them part late into the evening with ed promising to talk to some people and for clay to keep an eye on his phone. clay still feels like he's betraying his team, by leaving them. but if they don't want him why should he stay? is it really betrayal if they were the ones who'd done it first?

the calls are surprisingly easy, clay ends up finding out one of his teammates from team 3 was in the company too. the reputation that proceeded him was received positively, which was a surprise considering for as long as he'd been in the navy the dark cloud that was ash spenser had hung over everything he did.

by the time the formal investigation conduct by the navy finally informs the entire team and clay that he was innocent it's already too late. clay had signed and submitted the paperwork to leave the navy and had an invitation down to texas to get a feel for how shadow company worked differently then DEVGRU before he did any contracts for them.

clay leaves virginia quietly, he knows the team is mad at him for leaving (sonny made it cleary by a very angry and very drunk voicemail) but he's more scared of saying goodbye to naima, jameelah, and rj. facing their disappointment and inevitable tears from the kids is something clay doesn't have the spine to do. he'll leave it to ray to figure out.

so he arrives in texas with not much, he'd put his stuff up in a storage unit outside of norfolk but wasn't sure where he wanted to move yet, it's problems for later. but he arrives still hurting from his teams betrayal and, he later finds, the fact in painfully obvious to the others. about a year later he'd be told that he showed up "looking like an abandoned puppy" to which he only took mild offense.

clay takes to shadow company really well, he settles into the community built within and around the company and finds himself able to consider his life fairly 'stable'. at least when compared to his experience on bravo. he's not constantly scared of jason kicking him off the team then taking him back, he doesn't worry about naval officers having an agenda at his expense, he can voice his concern about being used as a pawn in a dark game and be listened to.

in a way, like many others, shadow company saved clay's life. he takes the company very seriously, so when he notices general shepherd starting to treat them the way lindell had treated bravo clay goes on alert. between the missile FUBAR and mexico clay decides to take a longer contract, conveniently one that keeps him out of the eye of the investigation and not stateside.

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A MEMORY COLORED : BLUE

being on an aircraft carrier means you are only surrounded blue. the ocean and the sky bleed into each other and its hard to define a horizon line. its one of the first times clay is ever truly scared of his surroundings. he can't orient himself, he can't tell if they've been moving forwards, backwards, or if they've been moving at all. it takes him nearly a week to not feel nauseous every time he's on flight deck. only after that week does he even start to be able to appreciate the unique environment and how all encompassing the blue-ness is.

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clay spenser wasn't raised as a team kid like the others who had a dad in the teams, most of that is due to his father's lack of interest in regards to having a kid. but mostly people just assume that because his dad was a SEAL that clay grew up in and around the teams.

so, when he got through BUD/S and was assigned to team 3 and started his additional training there they thought he was being a complete asshole when he wasn't already familiar with the culture. it was only when he passed language modules with ease did they realize he'd spent most of his young life not in the states, so very much not around the teams.

clay's feelings towards ash, his father, are . . a mixed bag of negative. he's smart enough to know that ash's decisions were not right, he hates people telling him to "see things from his perspective". his grandparents raised him with the idea that family structure was important, which only ended up making him hurt more when he realized how he lacked it.

but clay finally did make some friends on team 3. they were quiet literally the reason why he managed to get onto green team perhaps earlier than he should've.

once again, the tier one guys thought he'd be like a team kid and rightfully so. clay was cocky, talked back when he shouldn't have, didn't do well with others. he was just different.

bravo was actually the first people who knew much of anything when it came to clay's whole "childhood story", and it came out piece by begrudging piece. clay doesn't do well with talking about liberia in a emotional manner, facts and knowledge he can share just fine, but memories? no. those are meant to stay in their nice little corner.

but bravo, for all it's functional dysfunction, operated like a family. any team at that level simple has to be there for each other for any of them or their families to cope. and that was hard for clay at first, it was relationship dynamics he was pretty unfamiliar with. so there he was, at twenty-eight years old, wondering if the reason he constantly clashed with jason was because the man was a sort of father figure and clay could only ever associate that with ash's abandonment and absence.

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look at him. he suffers from chronically fucked collar syndrome.