spe4t

[spe4t]

Leona: Oi, Radish Sprout. Is this student yours?

Idia: Eek! Why are they with you?

Leona: *his eyebrows furrowed* Don't you think you should be looking after them?

Idia: Y-Yes... Did something happen?

Leona: ...

Leona: *sigh* My students used them as a target practice.

Idia: ...

Idia: You. *to MC* Weren't you in Diasomnia?

MC: Sebek ordered me to return to Ignihyde.

Idia: Then how did you end up in that situation?!

MC: I bumped into them.

Idia: ...

Leona: Hey, it's no use scolding them. Just stop being lazy and keep your eyes on them.

Idia: Yeah... Thanks for the heads-up.

Idia: Where does it hurt? *holding a first aid kit*

MC: *glances at their injuries, then touches their cheek, which is still tender from getting punched*

MC: ...

MC: *points at their cheek* Here.

Idia: ...

Idia: *breathes in* Ortho, could you come here, please? ASAP.

Ortho: *finished treating their wounds and bruises*

Ortho: How are you feeling?

MC: Fixed.

Idia: ...

Ortho: That’s good, but I don’t get why you didn’t stand up for yourself.

MC: Because they didn't ask me to.

Ortho: Who?

MC: The Savanaclaw students.

Ortho: ...

Ortho: According to the data I've gathered, MC possesses a human physical form, yet shows an abnormal absence of pain perception. Mentally, their cognitive patterns still align more with that of a wooden construct than a fully sentient human.

Ortho: *sighs* It's troublesome...

Idia: Tell me about it.

Idia: To be honest, I'm thinking of transferring them to another dorm.

Ortho: Eh? But why?

Idia: I'm simply not the best person for the job.

Ortho: Brother...

Professor Crewel: ...

MC: ...

Professor Crewel: Do you know why you're here?

MC: Idia found me troublesome.

Professor Crewel: And how do you feel about it?

MC: Am I supposed to feel something?

Professor Crewel: ...I think I understand why he quickly gave up on you.

[spe4t]

Leona: What's your relationship with my sister-in-law?

M!MC: *confused frown*

M!MC: Servant?

Leona: ...

Leona: *wheezes*

Falena: ...

Falena: Are you sure?

M!MC: *gets even more confused* Yes...?

Leona: You got jealous for nothing.

Falena: ...

Falena: You. Don't you harbor feelings for my wife?

M!MC: I'm gay.

Leona: *cackles*

Falena: ...

[spe4t]

Rook: ...

Epel: Is it just me, or did you draw Rook-senpai a little… cunty?

Vil: Epel, why would you use that word?

Epel: I don't know any word to describe this abomination.

Vil: ...

MC: Honestly, I feel insulted because you said it was a little cunty. What else would you like me to add? Boobs?

Rook: Ça me va.

MC: ...

MC: Gotcha.

Vil and Epel: ...

MC: I'm bored.

MC: I want to draw a child Malleus—

Sebek: *slams a thick stack of bills onto their table*

MC: ...

Sebek: ...

MC: Damn. Now I'm forced to.

Sebek: Hurry up with it, you commission goblin!

[spe4t]

Lucifer: Solomon.

Solomon: Haha, it was an accident. Believe me.

MC: Meow. *has turned into a derpy-looking cat*

Belphie: *holding back his laughter*

Satan: *staring at them*

Solomon: They will change back tomorrow.

Lucifer: Good grief— Satan, no.

Satan: *his left eye twitches as he fights the urge to squeeze MC out of sheer cuteness aggression*

[spe4t]

After hearing that annoucement from Obey Me I thought it would be cute to give my her happy ending with mephistopheles ☺️✨️ !

Not going to lie I love drawing these two as an old couple

And their baby is just as chaotic as their mama 😂👍✨️

Might need to draw them more like this 💍

[spe4t]

headcannons: MC who is easily flustered (side characters edition)

You can't help yourself. The slightest teasing remark, accidental brush of fingers, eye contact that lasted just a bit too long, and your face is red, your fidgeting with you hands, and your fighting to avert your gaze. The side characters can't get enough of you (and you can't get enough of them).

Diavolo

He’s delighted. Your reactions are like candy to him, so sincere, so entertaining, so different from the world he usually inhabits. The first time your face turned red when he called you “adorable,” he lit up like a kid discovering a new game. Now he tests your limits daily: “I dreamed about you last night.” “Careful, you’ll make me fall for you.” Each line is said with a booming laugh and a sparkle in his eyes. Just his mere presence is enough to unravel you. He loves leaning down to ‘hear’ you better, he watches how you squirm and back away and it makes him smile. He doesn’t mean to fluster you too badly, but he finds it hard to stop. You’ve become his favorite kind of fun.

Barbatos

You thought he was too composed to tease. Then came the subtle comments, delivered with a straight face and a cup of tea. “You look quite undone today. Did something... ruffle you?” He never outright smirks, but there's always the ghost of amusement dancing behind his eyes. Watching you try to pull yourself together around him is…mesmerizing. He finally understands everyone else's adoration of you. He files away your tells (the shaky breath, the twitch of your fingers) like treasured notes for future use.

Solomon

It’s a scientific curiosity to him at first. The way you unravel at a wink? Fascinating. He tries different strategies—compliments, suggestive tones, “accidentally” brushing your hand. Once, he whispered something in your ear and watched you sputter so badly you dropped your D.D.D. He laughed out loud. Now it’s a full-on experiment. “How red can I get you today?” he wonders aloud. He’s smug about it, yes, but he’s also completely enchanted by you.

Simeon

He’s genuinely concerned at first. “Are you alright? You’re warm—are you sick?” It takes a while for him to realize that it’s not illness, it’s him. That smile, that gentle voice, the way he praises you, it’s too much. And once he understands? He’s flustered too. Every time you flush or avert your eyes, he feels the heat rise in his own cheeks. He never teases on purpose, but he does look at you a little longer now. Lingers a little closer. He may be an angel, but your reactions bring out something undeniably human in him.

Mephistopheles

He lives for it. He pretends it’s beneath him, waving a hand dismissively when your face goes red. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he says, nose in the air. But the next moment, he’s teasing you in that smug, aristocratic tone. He wants you off-balance. He loves when you stutter his name or freeze under his gaze. “Honestly, you make it too easy,” he’ll say, sipping wine like he’s done nothing wrong. But if anyone else makes you flustered? He’s immediately in a sour mood.

Raphael

At first, he doesn’t react at all. Your flushed cheeks, your darting eyes, the way you stammer through a sentence, it barely gets a blink out of him. “You’re easily overwhelmed,” he states flatly, as if he’s diagnosing a mild cold. But you notice it’s always followed by a longer pause before he continues. He watches you, quiet and unreadable. You'll fluster yourself imagining what he’s thinking because he never tells you. But now and then, you’ll catch something: the subtle twitch of a smirk he doesn’t mean to show, a tilt of his head as you fumble your words, a rare, dry comment like, “You’re turning red again,” without even looking up.

Thirteen

You’ve become her favorite toy. She lives to fluster you. Teasing? Constant. Physical proximity? Weaponized. She’ll slink in behind you while you're talking and whisper “Boo,” then grin when you turn five shades of red. She pretends to be scandalous on purpose, saying things like “I had a dream about you last night—should I tell you what happened?” in front of everyone. But she’s careful not to cross lines. She likes seeing you squirm, not genuinely upset. And if someone else teases you and makes you look genuinely uncomfortable? Suddenly, she’s not smiling anymore.

[spe4t]

satan found a cat font

and now he sends you messages with it

you barely decipher what he's saying

[spe4t]

more vampires with multigenerational adopted human offspring. they wake up, get the tykes ready for pre-school, beg their preteen not to get caught on their phone in class again (caught being the emphasis, they're a realist), venmo their college kid for "textbook money" (as if they don't teach all their kids how to pirate that shit), have a lunch meeting with their 49-year-old-realtor-kid to discuss the possibility of quietly buying another local warehouse that would absolutely not be used for tax evasion/illegal artifact storage purposes, then spend the afternoon in a bloodthirsty mahjong battle at their eldest kid's (82) snazzy new retirement community

[spe4t]

MC: Luci, could you put this headband on for me, please?

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: What are you planning?

MC: Nothing. *smiles*

Lucifer: *though unconvinced, he lets it slide and puts the headband on*

Lucifer: Now what?

MC: I want you to lean down for a second.

Lucifer: *raised an eyebrow*

Lucifer: *sigh* Alright. There—

MC: *kisses his forehead*

Lucifer: ...

MC: *chuckles*

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: Are you not going to do the same with my lips?

MC: You'll drag me to bed if I do that.

Lucifer: Joke's on you. With this stunt you pulled, I will.

[spe4t]

PLEASE DO MORE OF MALLEUS JUDGING OUR TASTE IN MENNN

This time people he'd approve?

(or lilia muhuhaahh)

Malleus and Reader

Where he complains about the boys you like

APPROVED ONES EDITION!

FIRST PART HERE

How would Malleus complain when you told him about the boy you like?

With Deuce, Jack, Epel, Trey, Silver and Sebek.

“I think Deuce is actually really sweet. Kind of… boyfriend material, y’know?”

“Hmmm.”

Pause. A full ten seconds of silence. He’s not judging you. He’s assessing Deuce.

“Spade. The one who brought you tea when you were ill and then spilled it on himself, the floor, and Grim?”

“It’s the effort that counts!”

“...Indeed.”

He folds his arms behind his back and paces in a slow half-circle around you, thinking.

“He’s earnest. Loyal. Respects you. Fixed Lilia's tamagotchi's....”

“Exactly! And he’s really trying to improve himself, you know? He’s got this whole reformed-delinquent-turned-good-boy arc and—”

“He once punched a student because he ate his sandwich.”

“But he did eat it! He stole his sandwich and ate it!”

“And then he apologized to the student and bought him another one.”

Malleus’s lips twitch. Is he amused? Approving??

“...He reminds me of a young Silver. Clumsy. Noble. Likely to trip while confessing his feelings.”

He gives a nod.

“Very well. If you were to give your heart to Spade I would only ask one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Please do not allow him to name your future children. I overheard him once say he’d name a son ‘Axel Deuce Jr.’ That… must not happen.”

Malleus Draconia approves!

“Honestly, I think Jack is kind of perfect. Strong, loyal, responsible—”

“Ah. Now that… is a name I respect.”

You blink. Malleus actually smiles.

“He has a strong will. He is not easily swayed by others. And he has never once insulted you even in jest. A rare trait in this school.”

“Yeah! He’s so grounded. And respectful. He doesn’t even flirt, he just—exists, and I’m like: yes.”

Malleus nods gravely.

“He reminds me of the wolves in the Briar Valley highlands. Stoic. Proud. Dedicated to their pack.”

He pauses, expression sobering.

“If he were to court you, he would do so with his whole soul. No games. No manipulation. Just earnest intent.”

“So… you’d be cool with that?”

“I would bless the union with thunder.”

“Wait—what?”

“He would take care of you. If he hurt you, I would end him. In the spirit of diplomacy, of course.”

“...Uh-huh.”

Malleus closes his eyes in approval.

“Jack Howl. Acceptable.”

Malleus Draconia approves!

“I think Epel’s actually kinda hot. He’s cute, but he’s also got that whole secret rage thing going on.”

Malleus, staring at you like you just said you’re into carnivorous pixies:

“...Felmier”

“Yeah! He’s, like, fierce but still shy! Rough edges! Anger issues! Country boy charm!”

“You’re describing a feral cat. You’re in love with a barn cat in a human body.”

“He’s just passionate! Like, he doesn’t want to be seen as soft—he wants to be strong!”

“And so he tried to punch a pumpkin in Halloween. He sprained his wrist. That is not strength. That is unprocessed rage and calcium deficiency.”

“He’s fighting for his identity!”

“He fought Hunt for the last piece of steak. With a butter knife.”

“Listen. He’s got spirit.”

Malleus leans back, his arms crossed, exhaling.

“He would love you fiercely. Violently, perhaps. But fiercely.”

“So you approve?”

“I fear for your furniture. And your safety. But I also acknowledge… he's a good boy, more or less.”

He squints at the horizon, as if seeing your future already.

“Just… don’t let him carve your initials into a tree with a switchblade. I suspect he’d try.”

Malleus Draconia approves...! more or less...

“What about Trey? I think he's charming”“…The one with the glasses.”

“He’s sweet! Responsible. The mom friend. Cooks really well. Totally husband material, right?”

“Ah yes. The one who made a pie so suspicious that even the ghosts refused to eat it.”

“That was one time! He apologized!”

“He smiled while doing it. The way humans smile before adding mysterious ingredients to tea.”

“He’s just composed! You’re overthinking it.”

“What is he hiding?… secrets...?”

“Malleus. He made me homemade matcha roll cake for my birthday.”

“And yet you fell asleep immediately after eating it.”

“It was a nap!!”

“He once said ‘I only bake with love’ and then threatened Trappola with a rolling pin for touching his flour stash. Is that love… or culinary tyranny?”

Malleus closes his eyes, hands folded.

“He would be a devoted partner. Warm. Reliable. But if he ever turns on you… no one would suspect it until it was too late.”

“You would disappear and your name would be carved into the crust of a farewell tart.”

“MALLEUS.”

“I did not say he was unworthy. I said he was concerningly efficient.”

Malleus Draconia approves...! ermh...

“So… I might have a thing for Silver.” Malleus: goes completely still

“Silver. My Silver.”

"Okay that phrasing was weird but—yeah.”

“The quiet, sleepy, sword-wielding child..?”

“Exactly! He’s calm, thoughtful, protects others, makes me feel safe—”

“He falls asleep in hallways.”

“Yeah, but cute!”

“He falls asleep mid-conversation.”

“He’s a knight, Malleus, let him nap.”

“He would never hurt you.”

“So you approve?”

“I also once watched him sleep through an earthquake. You must understand the risk you're accepting.”

“He's endearing!”

“You would have to carry him. Often.”

“That’s fine!”

“You would be dating a man who forgets to blink.”

“Again. Fine.”

“...He would cherish you deeply. But if you perish in battle because he took a nap at the wrong moment, do not haunt me.”

Malleus Draconia approves!

“Also… don’t be mad but I think Sebek is kind of—y’know.”

“No. You don’t mean that.”

“He’s passionate! Devoted! Loyal to a fault—”

"Sebek... my pure-hearted Sebek. He yells when the tea is too hot"

“Because he wants you to have the perfect temperature for you!”

“He corrects your posture. While smirking about the honor of my name.”

“He’s intense!”

“He once screamed for twenty straight minutes because Silver was three minutes late to sparring.”

“He’s just emotional!”

“He called a squirrel a ‘treacherous beast’ for stealing one of your snacks.”

“And?? I was gonna eat that snack!”

“He attempted to knight himself in my name with a broomstick.”

“...kind of hot.”

Malleus just stares at you.

“You truly find him attractive...”

“He’s strong! Passionate! And deep down, I think he’d be really soft in a relationship.”

Malleus folds his arms, lips pressed thin on a little smile.

“He would shout his love for you across a battlefield.”

“Romantic.”

“He would duel someone over your honor if they merely sneezed too close to you.”

“Chivalrous!”

“He would scream your name into the abyss every night until the abyss screamed back.”

“…We all want someone like that deep down.”

“If you truly believe your ears can endure such a bond, then… I give my blessing. But I refuse to attend your wedding unless earplugs are provided.”

Malleus Draconia approves!

LITTLE BONUS

THANKS TO @lulu--lala19 FOR THIS IMAGE CUZ SHE MADE IT HERSLEF

THIS SO COOOL

[spe4t]

Ace: *live on MagiCam, his phone camera focuses on MC, who is sitting on a couch reading a book*

Ace: MF swears they're unaffectionate, but watch them lose it the moment I say I haven't eaten yet.

MC: *snaps the book shut*

Ace: ...

Ace: Gotta go— *has been grabbed before he could even run*

*A few minutes later.*

Ace: *still live, the camera now facing him as MC feeds him*

Ace: ...

Ace: Thish tastshe good.

MC: Don't speak with your mouth full.

Ace: *smiles cutely*

*The people in the comments calling him cheeky.*

[spe4t]

okay but toddler/kid IK being raised by Lucifer and still ending up as an IPad kid. She makes him watch those videos with her of people crushing up expired makeup in very specific color schemes to make slime out of

I feel like her taste would vary WILDLY between the most random nonsense you've ever seen and then lore videos that are hours long that she can't fullybcomprehend but watches anyways

sbbsff ik is equally entranced by all the regular baby sensory stuff AND extremely long in-depth video essays. no one can tell what she's getting out of it, given that she never has any interest in their subject matter and does not have the literacy required to understand the point, but she gets mad if anyone tries to switch the video and is somehow able to recognise an unfinished video and remember how far she got through it before she stopped

everyone else is a little unnerved but lucifer is personally very proud. look at her, she's already curating the media she consumes for optimal personal development! obviously the sensory videos are developmental supplements and the long video essays are for intellectual stimulation. such a clever three year old. she will far out class her peers at any level and he will LAUGH at the other parents on the playground

[spe4t]

Mephistopheles monologues about Diavolo supporting Spiderkid like he’s in a Shakespearean play while trying to kidnap Ik again

Meanwhile Raphael, who got dragged along again, is slowly inching his way out of the room while he’s distracted, planning his next offering to appease Ik

HI hello sorry it took me a fortnight to check my inbox

mephistopheles has prepared a slideshow with flashcards and a laser pointer and he uses raphael as an audience while he rehearses his presentation about why this all STUPID and everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves, and lord diavolo please come to your senses soon

raphael nods politely whenever mephistopheles turns to him for approval, but his eyes are darting to the door every ten seconds and anyone watching from the outside is just going to think he was kidnapped somehow. in fact ik does see this while out for a trek on the rad walls when she walks by the window, and immediately comes in through the window to make sure everything is alright

mephistopheles immediately launches into a personalised version of his presentation, attempting to get ik herself to see sense here, and only after about an hour of this do either them think to check on raphael. raphael is, of course, no longer here, because he sprinted out of the door as soon as ik arrived

[spe4t]

Ace: You ARE FUCKING DENSE!!!

MC: ...What did I do?

Ace: AAHHH!!! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CONFESS FOR A MONTH! AND I'M TIRED OF IT!

Ace: WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A DECENT ANSWER FROM YOU?!

MC: ...

MC: *glances at Deuce, Epel, and Jack*

MC: What is he talking about?

Deuce, Epel, and Jack: *witnessed how Ace lowered his pride so his feelings would come across*

Epel: Ace, can I make a suggestion?

Ace: What?!

Epel: Just kiss that mf.

Deuce: Epel!

Epel: What? He has done everything and it's not like MC rejected him.

Jack: Wouldn't that be inappropriate?

Epel: MC could beat him right after if they didn't like it.

Deuce: Right...

MC: Guys? What are you all saying—Hmp!

Ace: *kisses them*

MC: *their eyes widened*

Ace: *pulls away* *glaring at MC*

MC: ...

Ace: ...

Epel: I swear, if they still didn't get it—

Jack: No. Their ears are red.

Deuce: ...

Deuce: Ace, you alright?

Ace: ...

Ace: *blushes, having liked how MC's lips felt*

Epel: *laughs*

[spe4t]

MC: *waiting for their Papa (Azul) to give them allowance*

Azul: ...

Azul: While I understand and am somewhat convinced that you're my child from the future, I still don't believe it's my responsibility to give you an allowance.

MC: But Pa, you spoil me rotten.

Azul: Oh? *looks at them doubtfully*

MC: Yes. You would always bring me souvenirs from your business trips.

MC: You even let me use your credit card whenever I go shopping.

Azul: I think this is your way of manipulating me into agreeing with you.

MC: ...

MC: *gets upset*

Azul: ...

Azul: *sigh* Fine. *hands them his credit card*

MC: Hehe, thank you, Pa! *goes to kiss his cheek then exits the office*

Jade: ...

Jade: You're a doting father, Azul.

Azul: Quiet.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: What the—What are these things?

MC: Food. *has bought a lot of unhealthy snacks*

Jamil: *feels insulted for some reason*

Jamil: We have food back at the dorm.

MC: *whines* But I want these...

Jamil: Do you want to get sick?

MC: *pouts*

Jamil: *stern glare*

MC: *sad frowns* Okay... I'll just give these away...

Jamil: ...

Jamil: *smiles*

[spe4t]

M!MC: *glares at Ace after he accidentally ripped his uniform shirt open, leaving his upper body completely exposed*

M!MC: Thanks, man.

Ace: You're welcome, bro. *staring at his abs*

Sebek: Ace! You're utterly shameless!

Ace: What?

M!MC: *sigh* Crowley would surely scold me for this.

Sebek: Hmph! I have a spare you can borrow!

M!MC: ...

Ace: ...

Sebek: ...

Sebek: What?

M!MC: *smiles* You're sweet, man.

Sebek: Huh?!

Ace: Sebek looks like a blushing cabbage—BWAHAHAHA!

Sebek: I'M A—WHAT NOW?!!

[spe4t]

Sebek: Human—

Sebek: ***********! *holds MC's long hair, which reaches all the way to the floor*

MC: *could find neither their hairbrush nor their hair tie*

Lilia: *********

Malleus: *********

Silver: Can't we do something about it?

Malleus: They're about to be late for class.

Silver: You can teleport them.

Malleus: MC is not a fan of it—they get nauseous.

Silver: Oh...

Sebek: Don't worry, Waka-sama! I will handle it!

Malleus: I appreciate your help, Sebek.

MC: *******

Sebek: *********!

Lilia: *laughs*

Epel: ...Sebek, do you need some help?

Sebek: *struggles in tying MC's hair up*

Sebek: I know how to manage it!

Epel: That's not what I'm seeing.

MC: ******** *frowning*

Sebek: *********!

Epel: What did they say?

Sebek: Hmph. They told me to just let it be!

Sebek: ********!

MC: ********!

Sebek: Krk! *gives up and walks away*

Epel: ...

Rook: What long and luscious locks you have, Charabichou!

MC: ...

MC: *turns to Epel* This one... liar. *pointing at Rook*

Epel: Um...

Vil: ...

Vil: Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

MC: No... but lost my brush.

Rook: I know where it is.

Epel and Vil: *frown at him*

MC: ...

Rook: I mean... Oh! That's too bad, Charabichou! I can help you find it!

MC: ********

MC: No.

Rook: Aww...