specioussussurations

[specioussussurations]

okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

[specioussussurations]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

[specioussussurations]

why do white people love carageenan so much. every altmilk i buy is so fucking slimy and thick. if i wanted to buy a container of cum i would buy a container of cum what i actually wanted was soymilk

[specioussussurations]

"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

[specioussussurations]

reblog to give prev uhhhh a scritch behind the earrr

[specioussussurations]

dont know where to put these feelings. had a long day and then a long night, body cooperating less than ever, pain aplenty, and my closest friends are all partying. one might even see this, hey girl.

i couldnt tell you if it was my joints, my muscles, the vertigo or the permanent shakies, my nervous system constantly fraying faster than i can rest. couldnt tell you if its car-based infrastructure or living in my abuser's home. dunno if it's the permanent dysphoria, the fear of moving out, the constant food precarity or the overwhelming sense im gonna die before i make it to chicago (or ill die there)

but my heart won't listen! not to platitudes, not to reckoning, not to hope and not to love. damn thing just keeps fucking breaking. shattering under the weight of everyone i love's joy as they celebrate pride in a way i just fucking CANT

[specioussussurations]

As requested, I have examined my fondness for terrible characters, and I have concluded that I like them because they're terrible and I'm not sorry.

[specioussussurations]

its like she doesnt even care how high i can count

[specioussussurations]

one of the things that helped me with DID is realizing that everyone has parts and the disorder is when you gotta go to therapy to be able to talk to each other

[specioussussurations]

as soon as you're an adult (arguably once you're a teen) you need to start seeing your parents not as parents and authority figures, but as really really asinine roommates who think they own you

[specioussussurations]

“kink and fetish is when men beat women and it’s a learned activity from being pornbrained” - these freaks. over and over again. like saying it makes it true.

[specioussussurations]

“kink and fetish is when men beat women and it’s a learned activity from being pornbrained” - these freaks. over and over again. like saying it makes it true.

[specioussussurations]

[specioussussurations]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

[specioussussurations]

sending my hated nemesis a bouquet of spider lilies to signal the depths of my disdain but she's a really stupid airheaded hero type and so she doesn't understand the symbolism and continues to labour under the misapprehension that we are very good friends who occasional have violent lesbian sex

[specioussussurations]

i have a stupid video going viral on tiktok right now and i keep getting messaged by viral marketing accounts and fucking with them is fun but this is killing me

[specioussussurations]

when I was a kid I read a sci-fi story where some researcher discovers that all crocodiles since prehistory have had the same congenital heart defect, so they set about curing it. when they do, suddenly their research specimen starts getting stronger and healthier and growing rapidly and developing new appendages, and it turns out all crocodilians were actually stunted sickly forms of dragons. that story really stuck with me because it's basically an expression of the "what if I went to the doctor and they discovered I was deficient in one special vitamin and then I took a pill and all my problems and ailments vanished immediately" fantasy.

unrelated, I started taking daily antihistamines this month for the first time in my life,