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mcmachine‌:

if she were going to pin one of the interns as trauma it probably would have been casey given his background in the military,  that type of thing shaped the kind of discipline and fast thinking that was necessary for trauma.  schmitt struck her more as a general or ortho type,  maybe urology.  but she knew there was always room for change given her first interest had been in neuro.  “it’s not for everyone,”  she shrugged her shoulders lightly.  “and balancing it with running the emergency room is a non-surgical challenge that not everyone enjoys.  you’ve done a lot of work in general so far,  haven’t you?”

He’d learned a lot from the trauma rotations, the certification especially but he still could not see himself in a speciality for it with this one. He could do it but not as a speciality. “I can see why. It’s the most intense and hardcore out of all of them. I think you and Hunt are awesome. You are hardcore for being able to do all that.” He took a long drink. “Yeah. I like general but I feel comfortable in it. Ortho is pretty good too but I like neuro. Just haven’t spent much time in it.”

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Could you please reblog this if it is okay to ask you straight up if you want to ship?

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conquersbrains‌:

Breath caught in her throat and she furrowed her brow, a little surprised. No one had said anything close to that to her these last few weeks but as soon as the surprise laid out on the features, it was replaced by a soft smile. “Thank you..” and really she was thankful,  at least someone wasn’t interested in setting her up with anyone else. Somehow she couldn’t help the way her smile grew at his mention of the other doctor. It was sweet, how undramatic everything seemed between them, slow but undramatic. “That’d be cute, do you guys talk?” Maybe it wasn’t her business considering she couldn’t even label her own relationship or lack there of. Her shoulders seemed to lift at the praise, brushing it off as best she could.  She didn’t do as great with praise like her brother did, she didn’t think she was worthy of it. “I’ve messed up a lot, it took a lot of willpower to get where I am today. I guess that just shows anyone can really do anything they put their minds to.” 

For a moment, Levi thought that he had offended Amelia and was about to apologise for overstepping but then he saw the soft smile and returned it with one of his own. “You’re welcome,” he replied and really meant it. He really couldn’t see her with anyone else. There was something about her and Owen that he rooted for. They just seemed to fit. He blushed a little more when she spoke about his own events. “A little. There isn’t much chance with me being an intern and him an attending. I always choke and panic because of nerves I think. I never even really showed interest in guys before. I looked but didn’t think any more of it.” I’m rambling. I’m sorry. You have bigger things going on than my...things.” It was nice of her to do this for him but he knew Amelia had more going on. “My mom used to say you can mess up but it’s how you get through that and fix it. It can take days, years or even minutes but it takes as long as it needs to. You fixed yours. I don’t know what it was but you are respected by everyone here. Remember Bello? She still talks to us and she says how she misses neuro with you.”

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army-surgeon-eeyore‌:

Owen nodded, “There are things to look for, but they’re easy to miss too,” he gave him a sad smile as he lifted one of his shoulders. “It’s one of those things we have to watch fore during and after surgery. After surgery is a little easier….during. But with this particular patient, I think it was because her heart stopped a couple times…when the heart stops…the blood stops, and occasionally blood clots form..But her heart stopped before she got to us…and even when we got her, she had an irregular heartbeat….On top of that she was a smoker…you know that’s a red flag too.” The trauma surgeon pulled in a deep breath, “If you think there’s a way to tell, then you research it,” he nodded. “The more you learn about it, the easier it’ll be to keep an eye out. As for it getting easier…yes…and no,” he shook his head. “It gets easier to figure out that each death is a learning experience…and that each one gives you a head start for saving the next..If you spend every death worrying about it happening again, then no it doesn’t get any easier. Death happens. We try and stop it, we prolong it, we help where we can and we save who we can, but we don’t get the final say.”

Even though Bailey or Karev was the current chief or interm cheif, ther was something about Owen that had that natural leadership that made Schmittsee him as a leadr and respect him as one. “I thought I watched for them but I didn’t. I don’t think I did at least but you know I will for every other person. It did stop. I tried everything to make sure that didn’t happen.” He knew the patient history and knew the factors but the history he always rememberd the patients history just in case and to prove that he could do it. He had a great memory. Schmitt looked up at Owen for the first time in their conversation, hoping that his eyes where dry. “I’ll research. Like you said, we learn from these things and I’ll do my best to learn from it and help it stop happening for ther people.”

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scinglives‌:

“I’m glaring at you because of course I’ve talked to them. I see them every single day.” Sofia pointed out with a roll of her eyes. She was better than most of the people in her class, and she worked hard to prove it. It was difficult when her parents used her for desmonstarations. It was a mixture of them being proud, with trying to show everyone she was capable. And without being a goodie two shoes.

"I meant talk to them about requesting you when you’re already on another doctors service. If it bothers you then you should speak to them about that. It is pretty great that everyone is requesting you. I only have one person doing that.” They all worked hard and all of them wanted to be favored and resepcted. They worked hard for this. “Okay. We all want to be favorite for one of the attendings. Who would you want as your mentor?”

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army-surgeon-eeyore‌:

Owen watched as Schmitt started to lose it, feeling bad for the boy. He pushed up off the door with a roll of his shoulders and walked over to him, setting his hand on his shoulder, hoping that comforted him. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do, you fixed the problems…a clot was thrown, it happens. We can’t always foresee that, and when we do, some times it’s too late, and by the time the clot was throne, I was already in there. You asked for help when you needed it.” He gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You did everything you could. The first patient is always the hardest, but you can do this.  And next time you’ll do better.”

He was feeling so open but that made him feel awkward and that he was wasting time and resoruces. It was comforting at the same time which wsa strange. “Why does it have to be too late? There has to be something that stops that or something that makes it so we can save more of them. They deserve that.” He’d calmed down. Hunt was good at making him calm, it turned out. “Does it get any easier Doctor Hunt?”

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scinglives‌:

“Then don’t make stupid comments, then I won’t glare at you.” Sofia pointed out, her mom noticed more than people knew. And it was making her suspicious to why she had requested Levi as well. “We talk, she just needs to learn boundaries, they all do. They have their moments of remembering I’m an intern and treat me like crap. Then they have the moments of smothering me.”

"I have never made a stupid comment, Sofia. C’mon. Enough with glaring. Just speak to her. f you don’t like what she says then you can glare.” He tried to smile at her to give encouragement but humour as well. “You’re proving yourself and they can see it. You’re one of the best in our class. Related or not, they’d be lucky to have you on their service.”

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conquersbrains‌:

A brow furrowed as she thought about his question. For an intern he seemed a lot more confused than most about the whole dating around the hospital thing. “Dunno, guess we just kind of got used of each other, things happen as adults and they work out, or they don’t.” Not too helpful really, but there wasn’t much else she could say. “Anyway, the point is, you do get used of each other and that panicky feeling stops.” Head cocked to the side and she hummed slightly shaking her head. She’d hardly spent any time with the new doctor so she couldn’t say for sure. “Oh.. he’s cute, you’ll never really know if he’s into you unless you ask though. Can’t always wait for someone else to make the first move.” Clearing her throat she lifted a shoulder. “Probably because I was too high all the time not to mess up everything. I used to cause a lot of trouble, not too awesome.”

He had heard a lot about Amelia and Own, separately and together. Even just hearing the stories he kind if rooted for the two of them despite never really knowing the situation or either of them personally.”I hope it works for the two of you.” He had no right to say it to her but she was comforting him and he felt that she might need it, even if she didn’t. “Without a doubt it’s a panicky feeling but its a bit exciting as well.” It was the first time he had realised that which gave an odd sense of clarity. “Oh he is. He bought me a drink, winks at me and takes his shirt off in the interns lounge. I might be reading more into it but I think he does.” Just thinking about them made him blush a little. Was it excitement? He’d heard about her past and didn’t think it right to bring it up or judge her. He saw her as an amazing neuro God with incredible skill. “I can’t see you messing anything up. Look at all you’ve done here. You’re a neuro God.”

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‘ you’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep. ’

*sleep starters x

"Wouldn’t we all?” he answered with a smile. “I’m an intern, we don’t get sleep.”

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* sleep starters

‘ did you get any sleep last night? ’

‘ you need rest. ’

‘ you talk in your sleep. ’

‘ it’s four in the morning. why are you still up? ’

‘ i’ll be right here when you wake up. ’

‘ every time i close my eyes, i see it. over and over again. ’

‘ wake up! it’s only a dream! ’ 

‘ i have tea. will that help you sleep? ’ 

‘ i’m so tired… but i have to stay awake. ’

‘ it was just a dream? ’

‘ you need a nap. ’

‘ time for bed. no ifs, ands, or buts. ’

‘ it was just a dream. ’

‘ don’t worry. i’ll keep the monsters away tonight. ’

‘ if you don’t get some sleep soon, you’ll make yourself sick. ’

‘ you haven’t slept in days. do you want to talk about it? ’

‘ i had a bad dream. is it okay if i sleep in here? ’

‘ i’ll go to bed when i’m ready, so fuck off. ’

‘ i’m. not. sleepy. ’

‘ you’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep. ’

‘ could you stay with me – just until i fall asleep? ’

‘ there’s no one else here. it was all a bad dream. ’

‘ you’re spilling milk all over the table. ’ 

‘ c’mon, lazybones. you’ve slept enough. ’

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scinglives‌:

Sofia continued to glare at him as he tried to give her advice, when it came to her parents there was never just a simple answer or solution. There was too many of them. “I wonder why you got picked. Did my mom – Dr Torres – request you?” She asked, the hospital had to be professional, which meant avoiding calling them her parents. That and hopefully it would stop them from calling her ‘Sof-Sof��� or ‘Goosie’ and a selection of embarrassing nicknames.

"You keep glaring at me like that and I will start to think that we aren’t friends and that you really will hate me.” He had a cheeky grin on his face in hopes that she would stop glaring but something told him that might not be enough. “No. I doubt your mom even knows any other intern exists when you’re in the same class. It was the other Ortho, Doctor Kim. He’s new I think. Are you seriously not going to talk to your mom?”

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conquersbrains‌:

A hum at his question and she cocked her head to the side as she thought about it.  “I guess so, I mean when I first started seeing Doctor Hunt.. I felt like that, yeah. I honestly made a fool of myself most of the time or came on way too strong” Her words soft she couldn’t help but admit that she was curious. “Is there someone?” Not that it was her business but she didn’t think Levi was all  that bad, sure he irritated her on occasion but he was a person  too. Maybe someone just needed to take an interest about what he was saying some of the time.  “Bloodbank was something, that’s for sure..Uh, sure. Yeah, nothing  as interesting but a lot of people..  they used to call me Hurricane Amy..”

The more she spoke, the more he stopped fidgeting with his hands and his pulse started to regulate. It was normal to feel that way but he still did not know or even understand, why he felt that way in more than the basics of it all. “What did he do? Was he the same or was it more of you seeking him out? I don’t mean to pry I'm just trying to understand why it does this.” And why he was doing it. “At first I thought it was like a teasing thing to be mean. I know what I look like and my rep around here. I’m realistic but then I think it’s different.”It was the most he’d spoken about it. “I think so. Doctor Kim.” The fear rushed out as he said it. “Hurrican Amy? That sounds intense. And awesome. Why’d they call you that?”

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@airplanecrushed liked for a starter.

Schmitt was new to the world of actual surgery. He’d studied his entire life to become a surgeon and he was finally putting it into practice. The working hours could not even be compared to his student life of studying and cramming for hours or the sleepless nights. One of the things he quickly learned was sleep while you can and on a rare break, he did. Not even an hour had passed since he shut his eyes when he heard someone loudly waking him up. Groggily, he opened his eyes. “Did you need me for something?” he asked before he put on his glasses.

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mcmachine‌:

there had been some judgments made after the failure that certification had been but that was just as much her fault as it was anyone else’s.  “oh.  uh…  you’re welcome then.”  the words come out laced with an awkward amount of guilt.  “people learn how to adapt to pressure.”  she certainly had.  she had been miles worse than schmitt when she had first started her intern year.  “sure,  fine.  okay.”  she smiled.  “i guess water won’t hurt.”

If he was being honest with himself then he knew it took him a while to understand or even forgive April for how the trauma cert went down. It was intense but at the end of the day, it did exactly what he was at Grey Sloan for. Learning. He learned to manage his stress and how to adapt...as well as being able to deal with the more difficult patients and family members. He got April a water and placed it infront of her as a thanks for helping him with all that. “Awesome. You know, I did think about trauma but I couldn’t handle that as well as you and Hunt.”

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army-surgeon-eeyore‌:

Owen looked up at him and he shook his head, “We’ve all been through things…every one of us here…No one is free from…pain, trauma, tragedy….We don’t compare pasts here. Whatever happened back then led us to right here. Wanting to do something to help someone.” The trauma surgeon tilted his head to the side. “And we all lose patients,” he told him quietly. “And we all feel the loss of a patient, no matter how much we’ve been through…no matter how many people we lose.” In the beginning he’d been a mess when he lost someone. Then he went to war, and he had to learn to put that in the background. To ignore the loss. It was a defense mechanism. It wasn’t something he wanted someone else to learn. “Sometimes doing well, doesn’t mean you get to save them….And when you lose a patient, then you have to focus on what you did do well…that way you know what to do for the next one that comes in, so that you save that one.’

Schmitt tried his best to look up at Owen but he couldn’t. He was already feeling the tears fall down his cheek even though he tried his best to fight it. So he just listened. It was hard to hear it all even though it was comforting and right. “I don’t,” he began, “I don’t ever compare my own stuff to other people but...I don’t know.” He didn’t feel like he was good enough. It was his first loss and it was hitting him harder than he thought. “Do you know I’ve never lost anyone? Not a relative or friend. I’m lucky and I know it. Tonight I lost my first patient. I didn’t know them. Mahybe for a few hours but I never knew them. I feel it like I should have.” He took a moment to breathe even though the lump in his throat was doing his best to stop it. “I think I should have asked for help. I thought I did everythng but I didn’t. I didn’t and it’s my fault.”

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scinglives‌ @scinglives:

Sofia couldn’t help but glare at him as he asked if she had spoken to her mother about it. She had spoken to all of her parents, countless times. “If you’re not careful she’ll break that small amount of confidence you have.” Sofia commented, she was not ready for this day. “You were requested to be in ortho?”

"What?” he asked at the glare. He’d seen it a few times and mostly from Doctor Grey. Those had been more intense than Sofia’s but hers were still fearful. “I have tonnes of confidence. I just keep it to myself. Seriously though, talk to your mom. Either one of them, they’re understanding and you’re their only kid so you have strings. Try them.” It was still a long shot but could be so worth it. He suddenly became a little nervous. “Yeah. I was requested. It happens. I mean, this is the only time but it can happen.”

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army-surgeon-eeyore‌:

Owen was used to the trauma, the lack of sleep, the loss of a patient that you worked on for hours to save only to have one small thing make all that work completely moot. He watched as Levi walked out of the ER, and he’d seen that walk more times than he could count. He sighed through his nose as he pulled off his gloves and thanked the medial staff for their help, telling them they did a good job. He cleaned up and found Levi in one of the spare on call rooms, nodding at what he said. “Yeah I know,” he murmured, leaning back against the closed door, his arms folded across his chest, ankles crossed as well. “It’s hard…trauma…it’s not for everyone….But you did good,” he told him quietly.

He didn’t want to be seen as weak. He knew everyone didn’t think of him as one of the contenders and this wouldn’t help change peoples minds. Patients where lost everyday and the doctors, the real surgeons, didn’t let them get to them so much. “It’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through.” They all heard stories about major Hunt. “I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but I didn’t do good. Good would have been keeping them alive.”