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I know I leave for long stretches of time but- All the Joneses are kids now??? AND NOW I HAVE A BABY BROTHER???????

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I should probably count myself lucky I'm not on this list. and you should probably count yourself lucky that Medusa and Mave aren't on it either.

Ranking girls from the island!

S TIER

White girl: LOOK AT HER GOOO WOAH great body! Call me babe! I like rich gals!

Red girl with welding mask: She could use a bath but YEAH! She's hot not gonna lie, blue eyes drive me crazy. I like women who now how to weld, that's something you don't see every day

TIER A

Purple girl: She has such pretty face, but she also looks evil, like she could kill me (in the nice and the not so nice way). Nice coat.

Dark haired Girl: She's pretty! I like her shaved sides

TIER B

Pink haired cutie: I love her style, she looks like a tough gal, like she can defend me, I like that!

TIER C

Persephone: Persephone

Googles girl: Nice I guess? Reminds me of Piper, for the black and white things on the racing tracks

TIER D

Scarr: Scarry. Man, I wish my abs were as ripped as hers

Girl with white thing of her face: Hello good morning, I like whatevers going on in your hair

Hope: Hope

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So my dad brought a pilot home last night???

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I do Dad! We really gotta get out and do things like that more !!

My dad took me to a METALLICA CONCERT, you guys WISH you were me

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My dad took me to a METALLICA CONCERT, you guys WISH you were me

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guysguysguys my dad's firing the spirit halloween employee I see this as an absolute win

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I went on a trip to visit my cousin (back now !!) and ofc whenever I'm out shit happens?? WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME JOHNNY SMITED THE SKELETON?? HELLO???

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I luv u Johnny but im tired rn so if we could stop this madness, thank u Xx

Sorry I may be high and if they took away my phone privileges they are asleep rn plwase king

Ohhh, Axle Axle Axle, I won't tell Phil or Earl because~

I'm telling Wrecker instead.

@godslayer-jones

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Ordering takeout in the underworld is great because it's always a fun guessing game of "will they show up this time or will i lose my burritos to the river styx again"

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Do you by any chance watch JoJo's Bizarre Adventure? Your outfit reminds me of Jolyne Cujoh.

No I actually haven't! It's on my watchlist, so I guess i should probably push it to the front, huh? Just looking her up I think she looks really cool tho! Looks like we have similar tastes in fashion!

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I know what you are, Bond villain.

Wearing turtlenecks in the summer is fucking wild like?? I came here for summer fun, why are you dressed like a bond villain??

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Wearing turtlenecks in the summer is fucking wild like?? I came here for summer fun, why are you dressed like a bond villain??

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You think dog piss tastes good????

I just drank some of the water from the River Styx and hear me out:

This stuff is WAY better than Slurp Juice and Slap Juice, you get to have ✨️glowing green veins✨️ and maybeee it gives you temporary voices in your head, but it's still good

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We've hit the Godslayer poly arc, it's over.

Turns out my wife has girl friend she works out with?

It's been awhile, I should probably go with her too the gym again.

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Chat, PLEASE don't drink the styx water, I bathe in that stuff, and I swear to gods that I've seen the damned dog piss in it.

I just drank some of the water from the River Styx and hear me out:

This stuff is WAY better than Slurp Juice and Slap Juice, you get to have ✨️glowing green veins✨️ and maybeee it gives you temporary voices in your head, but it's still good

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Just had a nap with the dog,,, comfny,,,, Gonna down an energy drink n see what happens,, but like,, warm dog,,, good nap,,,

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We mechanics gotta stick togther gentlepeas! C'mon,,,!!

Wait guys if the average life span of a pea plant is seventy (70)-ish days will we wither up and die in the next month?