spencerneedscoffee

[spencerneedscoffee]

i don't mind sharing. but it's long-winded and i'll probably cry while writing. if you're still interested.

— the "where to hide at a house party" and "found a weird man in the laundry room" asks guy.

Please do. No pressure to make it polished or brief or even coherent, if you need a place to say it, this can be that place. And crying while writing is completely acceptable. I hope you’re doing okay.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

What is your opinion on the amount of romantic literature written about you on this platform?

Okay…I’ll admit I’ve read a few. Curiosity got the better of me.

Some of them are surprisingly accurate, others give me way more charm and confidence than I’ve ever had in my life.

Some of you write me like I’m smooth and mysterious when in reality I bump into doorframes and panic when someone compliments my hair.

But it’s oddly flattering. Thank you (mostly).

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Hey, Spencer! Lately, I’ve been reading the Bible, and I’m appreciating it, primarily from a literary standpoint. I am not religious in any sense of the word, but I can safely say that the Bible is vital classic literature. What do you think? :]

I’m not religious either, but I’ve always thought that reading the Bible as literature is kind of necessary, especially if you want to understand the foundations of Western storytelling, moral philosophy, and even politics.

So yes. Strongly agree. Literary analysis of the Bible is underrated.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

may we ask the "hiding at a party and finding a weird man in the laundry room" guy to come forward and explain the tea? i wanna know...................

I’d never pressure anyone to share something they’re not comfortable with, especially not a story told in confidence through my ask box.

But if the mysterious laundry room encounter were to be elaborated on…purely out of curiosity, of course, I certainly wouldn’t object.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Twink is gay slang for a (queer) man who is usually in his late teens to twenties whose traits may include a slim to average physique, a youthful appearance, and little or no body hair.

You check off:

Slim physique

Probably bisexual

Even if you’re older you look twenties you got that youthful glow son

(: That’s why u got called that earlier I’m guessin but there’s the best definition I could find

Okay.

I appreciate the detailed citation, I guess. That was surprisingly informative.

I’m going to choose to take this as a compliment, even though I feel like I’ve just been academically diagnosed with something.

Also, I’m not that youthful. I’ve had gray hairs since 23.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Twink

Um.

I’m not sure how to respond to this. What exactly qualifies someone as a twink? Is there a checklist? A height limit? Is it the hair?

Anyway. That’s…that’s a word. Thanks? Maybe. Possibly not.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

hiii spence, I'm looking into studying psychology in about two years or so. Do you have any book recommendations for me ?? also just tips in general x

Hello!

First of all, I’m really glad you’re interested in psychology, that’s genuinely exciting. A couple great starting points would be “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” by Oliver Sacks (neurological case studies, super engaging) and “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk (heavy, but incredibly important if you’re curious about trauma research). Also, don’t underestimate how useful a solid understanding of statistics will be, seriously.

Also…I took a quick glance at your account and that’s…um, a very unique aesthetic. I’ve honestly never seen anything quite like it. I’m a little concerned, not gonna lie, but also kind of intrigued in a sociocultural way?

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

how do you feel about a bunch of autistic people being able to relate to you? Are you diagnosed 👀

If something about the way I am resonates with others, especially those who feel misunderstood or out of step with the world, I’m grateful for that connection.

As for labels…I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how we define ourselves. Some things I understand better in hindsight than I did at the time.

(Also, 👀 is a very intimidating emoji.)

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

I’ve been seeing a lot of people mentioning The Nile in the replies lately and I just wanted to say I love that everyone’s suddenly talking about rivers. It’s such a historically significant one too, longest in the world, over 6,600 km, instrumental to the rise of ancient egyptian civilization, etc.

If anyone wants to talk about its role in early irrigation systems or the annual inundation patterns pre aswan dam…I’m free all day.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Any advice for constant bad dreams?

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that. Bad dreams can stick with you in the worst way. Sometimes it’s not even the content, just the feeling they leave behind.

Here are some things that have helped me:

- winding down with music or a book instead of screens

- keeping the room a little cold and dark (like a cave. comforting.)

- writing down the dream the moment I wake up. Getting it out seems to make it quieter.

- changing the ending in my head before going back to sleep (it sounds silly but it works)

And most importantly, talk to someone. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

since we're on the topic of yearning. scientifically speaking, what's the best way to survive the heartbreak left after a short-lived but really intense relationship with a really cool but complicated person?

asking for a friend, of course.

— the guy who asked what's the best place to hide at a party and after following your advice found the weirdest man in the laundry room and immediately fell head over heels for him. i owe you for that btw

I remember you. Falling for the guy in the laundry room is bold and honestly impressive.

Heartbreak actually lights up the same part of the brain as physical pain. So yeah, it makes sense that it hurts.

Best things to help:

- people (ugh, i know)

- new things (music, books, thoughts)

- movement

- and, sorry, time.

If you need to talk more, my messages are open.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Gentle shames on you for ditching our fluffy pink queen for more sleeps! Hope you're well rested now tho!

listen.

I’m not proud of it.

I’m would never intentionally ghost our glitter monarch, but in my defense…sleep ambushed me. i was horizontal for two minutes max.

I am well rested. I am shamed. I am rehydrated.

Penelope, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Please don’t replace me with someone sparkly and emotionally available.

…unless he also knows twelve dead languages. then maybe we can all hang out?

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

yearning for.. ethan? perhaps?

Yearning for…Ethan?

Okay.

Wow. Bold of you to assume I even know where Ethan is these days. I don’t. Haven’t talked to him in a long time. Years, even.

So the idea that I’d be yearning-

I mean, that would require a certain emotional intensity that is, frankly, unscientific. And also unnecessary.

Besides, people change. People grow apart.

That’s normal.

Totally normal.

Anyway.

How’s everyone else doing today?

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

soo, spence!! have you kept in contact with lila archer??

Uh…no, not really. We haven’t spoken in a long time. She’s busy. I’m busy. Life, you know?

She was nice, though. Kind. Talented.

I hope she’s doing well.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Yearning over… what? Or rather, who?

That feels like a very pointed question. Hypothetically, though, if someone were yearning, it would be for something abstract. Like…connection. Or closure. Or maybe just the idea of someone they used to know.

(not that i am. obviously.)

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Do you yearn for baked goods?

I can’t be serious on this app for five minutes.

That said…yeah. I do love a croissant.

-SR

[spencerneedscoffee]

Today’s mood is yearning.

No, I will not be elaborating.

Yes, it is probably about three different things at once.

-SR