spicyxmayo

[spicyxmayo]

You never recover from being weird in middle school

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In hindsight it's very insulting to be told that flunking out of college due to adhd is actually "quite common"

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*doctor voice* hmmmm…..have you tried this revolutionary method called painmaxxxing? it is where you do not bother me and adjust to being in agony all the time and we do nothing to resolve the root cause or treat the symptoms. you don’t wish to try painmaxxxing? you’re being non-compliant with the treatment plan I have just provided you?

[spicyxmayo]

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

[spicyxmayo]

a comprehensive guide: music edition

[spicyxmayo]

glee incorrect quotes

[spicyxmayo]

— glee characters as social media posts/memes [pt45/?]

[spicyxmayo]

I'll make this its own post, because of the amount of people that have asked.

Let's talk the difference between feminine lesbians and femme lesbians.

Feminine is a form of presentation, it speaks directly to how you present.

Femme doesn't mean feminine lesbian, because regardless of the fact that some femmes are feminine/hyper feminine, not all feminine lesbians are femme, not all femmes are standardly feminine (usually most aren't), some are explicitly gender non conforming.

Femme as I talk about on this post and on my blog is more of a community role, based in the butch/femme community, that has a long history from bar culture. Femme inherently relates to subverting femininity from cishet standards and towards the community, making it our own. These are identities (butch and femme) involve social, erotic, emotional reasons/intentions and contexts, ways of looking, loving and living expressed by a community.

Simply put, when I'm talking butch and femme, I mean people who are two sides of the same coin and have historically respected and backed each other up and been home and safety to each other, even without any romantic inclinations, that usually subvert traditional understanding of femininity and masculinity. There's a lot of deconstructing gender and taking matters of femininity and masculinity in our own ways, which can mean as mentioned previously that femmes can be, and a lot of the time are, as gender non conforming as butches and also, a lot of the time, not cis, because sometimes people outside these circles look at these identities through a very cis centered white lens.

Which is why, I want also clarify that it's important that the notion of femme not become limited by the hyper feminine white idea of it as well. That's easily ingrained in us and it's good to be conscious of it.

[spicyxmayo]

At least I'm a lesbian

[spicyxmayo]

hey baby. ever dated an ugly dyke before? i could be your first .

[spicyxmayo]

pro tip for my trans tape wearers: if you're like me and you take it off way too fast sometimes because you didnt shower before applying so it was itchy and you finally got tired of it but was very impatient in the removal and now your skin is all fucked up, SLATHER VASELINE ON THAT SHIT!!!

basically i removed it wayyy too fast so my skin is red and irritated and dry. usually when this happens, it takes about a week to heal. right now it's day 2 and the dead skin is already peeling off and the itchiness is GONEZO

so invest in baby oil and vaseline thank u for coming to my ted talk

[spicyxmayo]

TransTape: A Guide

I've gotten a lot of asks about TransTape, and noticed a lot of gaps in knowledge. I've been binding with it for over a year now, and I thought a little guide might be helpful!

What is TransTape?

TransTape is an alternative to using a compression binder (like gc2b sells) that does not use compression; instead, a body-safe cloth tape is used to pull your chest underneath your armpits and stick them there against your skin.

Taken from the TransTape Instagram [IMAGES: Three shirtless people with rectangles of transtape pulling their chests flat and under their armpits, so they look more like pecs than breasts. /END]

TransTape was developed by trans people, for binding, from kinetic tape- which is used to treat physical injuries and disabilities in athletics. Though kinetic tape isn't proven to actually improve these problems, it is tested and safe to wear the way TransTape is worn.

Kinetic tape can be used as a cheaper alternative to TransTape, it just doesn't come in the sizes and nude colors generally preferable for binding.

Is It Safe?

Because TransTape doesn't use compression, it doesn't have an impact on your ribcage, lungs, or other internal organs like a compression binder does. It only interacts with your skin, which means short-term and long-term use will only impact your skin.

To the best of available knowledge, TransTape is safe as long as you apply it and remove it correctly. It can be worn while sleeping, exercising, showering/getting wet, and doing all of your other normal activities.

How long you can wear an application of TransTape depends on your lifestyle; the company recommends 3-5 days, with breaks of 1-2 days between applications.

Is It For Me?

Whether TransTape works for you depends on a lot of different factors, but the biggest deciding factor will likely be body type. Like any type of binding, larger chests are harder to flatten/masculinize, and the density of your chest can play a role as well. Skin sensitivity may also be a factor.

My recommendation is to try one roll, start with a test strip to check skin sensitivity, and give it at least 2 or 3 applications to check compatibility. You can check out TransTape's Instagram for some examples of different body types and the different ways people apply it.

The Brand

TransTape itself is expensive, and they've made some weird choices about things like essential oils. That said, they have the best guides and the most information on safe, correct use of binding tape.

You do not need to buy their products. The healing salve and removal oil in particular are more expensive than necessary. I recommend using lip balm in your nipple covers, baby oil for removal, and regular body lotion after removal instead of their products.

Application

TransTape has made a very detailed and comprehensive guide to safe application, which I recommend following.

Every body is different, and the method of application that works best for you may be different from what works best for other people. Experiment! It'll take a few tries to figure out what works for you; I took eight months to fine-tune my method.

Here's how I bind:

[IMAGE: A drawing of a torso with three strips of transtape: #1 is 3 sections long, starts 2 inches from the center of the chest, and the bottom edge of the tape runs over the bottom of the breast. #2 is 3 sections long, and overlapped on top of #1 where the nipple is. #3 is 3.5 sections long, placed directly over the middle of #1 and #2, and has one inch in front of and behind the ends of #1 and #2. The text says "Apply nipple covers, then strip 1, 2, then 3. Ensure ends of strip 3 both "anchor" on skin. /END]

I use a lot more tape than their method does, but this is easiest and flattest for me! It might be a good start for beginners.

Safety Tips

To ensure application is safe, remember to:

Apply nipple covers. Use 1/2 of a section of tape, with a square of toilet paper folded into thirds each way in the middle. Lip balm on your nipples and the toiler paper will keep your nipples hydrated.

Use a 1-2 inch "anchor" on both ends of the tape; this area of the tape should not be stretched. This prevents your skin from itching or getting shallow, surface-level abrasions while wearing.

Remove tape ASAP if you experience any amount of bleeding or pain. Itching is normal, especially with your first few applications, but shouldn't continue for more than a day or two of wear.

Never apply over wounds/scabs/abrasions. Scars are fine, but make sure your skin is healed before application.

Safe Removal

TransTape's how-to guide includes a section on safe application, which I recommend deferring to. Some basics:

Never remove tape dry. Always soak your tape thoroughly with oil before removal; removal oil and baby oil are preferable, and coconut oil is also safe, but will leave adhesive residue.

Rub tape off, don't peel. If you rub at the ends/edges of the tape while it's oiled, it'll start to come off on its own in about 2-5 minutes. This is the best way to ensure you don't damage your skin.

Removal should never hurt. Slow down if you're feeling more than, at most, a light sting here and there. It's okay if you get some redness or shallow abrasions, but you should go more slowly next time.

Let your skin rest! Give your skin a day or two of rest between wears, if possible. I usually wear a compression binder on those days, and the drastically reduced use of compression binders means I'm still avoiding the long-term risks they can come with.

Lotion & TLC: use lots of lotion on your chest between wears, and otherwise treat your skin nicely!

Removal is where the most damage to your skin can occur, so it's important that you follow safety instructions.

Managing Expectations

There is a learning curve with TransTape, and it takes a while to get the hang of it. A lot of people try it once and give up, but it will get easier and more effective with more attempts.

Here's some things to keep in mind:

Your first attempt will suck. Mine looked like I was just wearing a bra, and I felt incredibly dysphoric about it. The second attempt was a little better, and the third attempt was much better.

It takes a long time to get the hang of it. Like, months. You'll keep figuring out better methods and getting flatter over time.

You skin isn't used to this. Part of getting flatter is your skin learning to stretch a bit more over time.

Tightness. Your skin will feel tight in the center of your chest with your first few applications; this is normal, and it won't tear there.

Itching. Your skin will itch under the tape; I got it really badly around the second day of wear. This eases up and eventually stops after a couple of months of consistent use, as your skin adjusts.

Stretching. Your skin will stretch near the center of your chest, and you may notice a slight change in texture. This is normal, should be very subtle, and should go back to normal if you stop wearing tape for a long enough time.

"Masculinization" vs. Flattening: TransTape can get folks flat, but more often it's about re-shaping your chest to be more "masculine"/look like pecs rather than breasts. It just depends on your body type!

TransTape isn't for everyone, but it can be a really great alternative for a lot of folks, too. It might be worth a shot! Just be safe, manage your expectations, and try to give it a few applications before you give up on it.

[spicyxmayo]

I had a really hard time finding guides or tips for kt tape/open chest binding so I decided to make my own

Don't make the nipple pads too big, no wider than the tape, tape must seal all the way around the pad or it'll peal back

Don't layer the tape strips, they dont stick to each other

It can be easier to tape if you're laying on your back

Don't place the tape with your arms up, it'll crease and fold when you put your arms back down

Don't place the tape further than halfway around your side, if it pulls across your subscapularis it'll hurt like hell

Don't put tension on the ends of the tape, strech the middle section only, you can get tension sores if there isnt enough of an anchor point (recommended an inch or two)

Put on the tape after you shower and are fully dry, the tape won't stick properly if there are any residues

Don't expect to be flat, it mainly just changed the shape of my breasts and gave support

When you want to take it off, rub oil into the tape, wait 10-30 minutes, peel off in a hot shower

If you get sores don't tape over them

I cant speak to this myself but I've heard that prolonged sun exposure can make the tape melt to your skin, so be careful ig

I'll keep updating this as I learn new things!

Circled is the subscap muscle, Don't hook the tape over this

[spicyxmayo]

I remember when Carrie Fisher passed Kathleen Kennedy gave the quote “there’s little girls who will someday say may the force be with you because of Carrie which means her legacy will forever be engraved in history” and that’s all that I’m thinking about right now. There’s little kids out there who will someday say Wakanda Forever because of Chadwick Boseman and they’ll get to watch themselves on screen and see themselves in an action figure. What a legend of a man. An absolute legend who will never be forgotten.

[spicyxmayo]

Traumatized kids know how it is to go thru life alone. They were on their own since the start. They learned young that their world will turn against them, for any reason, and nobody will stand on their side. They were taught to silence their pain because crying out and getting humiliated and harmed for it hurts worse. They learned to appreciate isolation and neglect as if it was a gift, because it could be worse. They learned that their pain doesn’t matter. They learned that being weak isn’t an option, needing attention isn’t an option, wanting to be acknowledged and accepted was nothing short of asking for pain. They tried to earn it but that too only brought more pain, nothing they did was deemed good enough.

They learned to be strong. They know they’ll have nobody to call for help when things go wrong. They learned to face trials and dangers of life alone. They had no choice. Will you go to parents you’re scared of when your best friend betrays you? Will you be able to stand hearing “that’s what you deserved!” while drowning in grief? Will you talk to them when you get hurt and bullied, wounded and cornered by the world? Only to get spat on because they consider it all your fault, and you should know it’s your fault, struggling is your fault, trusting in someone is your fault, messing up in harsh world you were forced into without experience or guidance or advice or protection, it’s all your fault. You should have known better. You should have known it’s your own fault when someone hurts you. You should have known you deserved even worse. 

You learn to hide your wounds so they can’t be cut in deeper. You learn to tell yourself all the harsh and cruel words you know you’d hear if you open your mouth, because you don’t want to deserve hearing it more. You already know. You hate yourself because you’re told that all you’re going thru is happening because of who you are, because you are not good, not lovable, not able of deserving anything, not important enough to matter. And that’s never going to change, tricking people into thinking you’re human is best you can hope for, but they will eventually figure it out.

How are you supposed to figure it out it wasn’t you, without anyone on your side and the world ready to blame you? How are you supposed to shift focus on what others are doing and hold them responsible? How are you supposed to realize your worth? How are you supposed to handle when others betray and abandon you like you’re nothing, when your parents voices in your head start screaming they were right about you? 

Carrying the burden of guilt, shame, anxiety and fear that you’re being seen by everyone the same way your parents saw you, that everyone will eventually treat you as badly as your parents did, and that you deserved it, that’s what it means to walk thru the world wounded and alone. Doubting your memories, reactions, instincts, feelings, berating yourself for not being “normal” enough, for being seen as a nuisance and a burden, never feeling like you have the right to ask for what you want and need. Never knowing that get to own your life and use it freely for yourself. That is the heavy, painful life child abusers set up for their children. That’s what their parents wanted them to live thru.

[spicyxmayo]

it’s time to shut down the lie that children who don’t grow up being hit, humiliated, and scared into obedience will grow up into spoiled, entitled, selfish monsters. there is zero truth to that. children grown in a healthy and nurturing environment will get a chance to grow up healthy. children who are raised by monsters who try to pretend that abuse is for the child’s sake and that the child would become a monster if not abused will be stripped of their health and will be denied an actual start in life and will be forced to fight for survival. I’ve had enough of abusers pretending they’re helping the child while they’re just taking and taking more and more away from them and leaving them permanently traumatized and emotionally injured. Don’t let them get away with it.

[spicyxmayo]

signs you’re recovering from long term abuse:

bursts of rage, or continuous rage at what was done to you

desire to overpower, restrain, chain up, torture or murder your abuser

clarity and full belief in your perception, complete rejection of abuser’s point of view

no longer caring what the abuser thinks of you, knowing their opinion is worthless and filled with lies

cutting off abusers easily as soon as you notice they’re toxic to you

willingness to do whatever it takes to fight for your life

rage at anyone who would cause any further abuse to you

strong conviction that hurting you is evil, and that anyone who does hurt you should be villified for it

full belief that anyone who hurts you is not to be excused for their actions, not given further trust, and that they should pay for it

valuing your freedom of movement, freedom of mind, safety of resources and ability to survive more than any kind of uncertain hopes, promises or validation

unwillingness to depend on someone’s view of you, opinion of you, or affection towards you, as it could change at any second and causes instability and anxiety

valuing stability more than highs and lows

ability to detect when someone is trying to confuse you, divert your point, make you look bad with the intention of punishing or controlling you, silence you or make themselves superior to you, and reacting with rage

avalanche of rage at any attempt to gaslight you, not willing for one second to doubt your own memory, being completely clear that anyone who pretends they didn’t do and say things they did is lying

unwillingness to consider yourself less valuable or important than other humans, and getting angry whenever you’re treated in such manner

refusing to do as you’re told, even if it makes people angry, knowing that what you want to do is more important than what anyone else wants from you

owning your life for yourself and knowing nobody else has any right to it

anger at everyone who could have helped you while you were abused and didn’t, anger at anyone who sided with your abusers, anger at system which allowed for you to be abused for so long, anger at helplessness to change it

recognition of your situation and full awareness you were helpless during abuse, and that none of it is remotely your fault

unwillingness to pretend and act in social situations

unwillingness abandon your morals, feelings, opinions and personality for the sake of pretend friendships and pretend relationships, only seeking real connections that don’t require you to make yourself socially acceptable

distrust in anyone who you notice is demanding authority, control, abuse and exploitation of another’s life, recognizing abusers and those who abuse the power of their social or economic standing and being actively disgusted by them

no delusions about people “only wanting the best for you” or “only wanting to help” while they’re hurting you, rejecting all harmful and useless advice and minimization of your pain