spiderarchive - Tumblr blog

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you will come to mourn it.

Sue Zhao // James Baldwin // The Office // unknown // @shhhitsfine // @tranquildeath // Alison Zai // Lia Pappas-Kemps // @charlottan

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im like if a girl thought she was irredeemable despite never having done anything that should make her feel this way

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All good children's fiction says you are going to have to shoulder responsibility even if you don't want it.

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Think about this quote like all the time and how it really undermines so much shit in capitalism

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I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache

life just goes on no matter what

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things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

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It is one thing to process memories of trauma, but it is an entirely different matter to confront the inner void – the holes in the soul that result from not having been wanted, not having been seen, and not having been allowed to speak the truth.

"The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma" - Bessel van der Kolk

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gonna lose sleep over this one lads

(excerpt from The Body Keeps The Score, Bessel A. Van Der Kolk)

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"It takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember."

— The Body Keeps The Score

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Katherine Arden, The Girl in the Tower

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a sword of sunlight. it thrusts through the window at an angle, and leaves a golden stain on the floor. when you first encounter it, at age twelve coming home from a half-day at school, it does not harm you; but fifteen years on, when a certain quality of the light recalls that moment as vividly as if you were living it again, oh, then—then it cuts deeply.

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The “generation gap” is an important social tool for any repressive society. If the younger members of a community view the older members as contemptible or suspect or excess, they will never be able to join hands and examine the living memories of the community, nor ask the all-important question, “Why?” This gives rise to a historical amnesia that keeps us working to reinvent the wheel every time we have to go to the store for bread.

Audre Lorde, “Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference”, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches (Berkeley: Crossing Press, 2007, 114-123), 117

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“I am tired, / I can’t mourn anymore / the loss of what I never asked for / and never understood.”

— Franz Wright, from “The Disappearing”, Earlier Poems