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PLEASE SHARE!!! 

It’s very important for more people to know about violence in Belarus! There’s a lot of info about it, but it’s mostly in Russian, so that’s why I decided to make a post by myself.

We still don’t know what is happening with the people who are still in detention. We can only hope that they’re still alive. And as always, the government denies everything.

You can donate to help all the victims on http://www.belarus97.pro/ Or just share it! Talk about it! Tell about it to your friends and family! We need your support!

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Some early good news!

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“Oregon became the first state to decriminalize small amounts of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine and other drugs.

The Oregon measure would make possession of small amounts of what have long been considered harder drugs a violation, similar to a traffic ticket, and no longer punishable by jail time. The law would also fund drug addiction treatment from marijuana sales taxes.” x

hey. this is actually huge news and is incredibly important. if you’re looking for something good to come out of tonight, this is a really important and amazing first step that should be emulated across the rest of the country, along with exonerating those who have previously been convicted/releasing those currently jailed for drug charges.

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I wrote this on Twitter. Transcription below.

Okay. Right about this, right about now, is probably the peak Trump II map. It would’ve been nicer if I’d caught it while Maine was still showing up as red, but I didn’t.

What does that mean?

It means that multiple Trump-leaning states out east haven’t started counting mail-in votes yet, mostly because they have Republican legislatures who moved not to allow it.

Let’s take Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania has a pretty big red tilt right now. That’s what Republicans want you to see going to bed tonight. “They won.”

Except 2.2 million votes haven’t been counted yet, like, _at all_. The mail-in votes.

Because Pennsylvania is a party-registration state, where you register with a party to vote in primary elections, we know whose ballots they are, more or less.

And two thirds of them are registered as Democrats.

It’s not like the normal situation where you’ve got geographic lag, and yeah, results will shift a bit based on city/suburb/county/etc - you have a specifically _political_ lag. A division by _party_.

Republicans voting on the day of, and being counted first; Democrats voting early, and being counted last.

That’s on purpose. And the _purpose_ is to give Trump an artificial lead so he can move in with his lawyers - _as he’s publicly promised to do_ - and stop vote counting.

_Be ready for this_. They _will_ try to stop vote counting while they have a _purely artificial lead_.

A purely artificial _map_, that looks great for Trump.

But it’s not. It’s a map made out of vote counting where Republicans are counted _first_.

And that’s not how elections are supposed to work.

It’s quite possible that civil action will be needed to get all the votes to be counted. But if that’s what’s needed, _get out there and do it_.

This election isn’t over until all the votes are counted.

Which is why the Republicans will do whatever is possible to stop votes from being counted any further, and as soon as possible. 2000 in Florida all over again, just more, and bigger.

Are you ready?

Get ready.

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don’t even want to talk about the el*ction today but, regardless of what happens today, please keep me and others you know in red/swing states in your thoughts because there will be an uptick of violence and me and others like me will very much be the targets/victims.... please donate to mutual aids, bail funds, donation chains, or even directly to ppl’s Venmo/CashApp because this fallout will be long withstanding and people WILL need support

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i went to go pick up my HORMONES from the chemist today and the guy was quite sweet and very well intentioned but clearly way out of his element... when i was leaving i did the standard “thanks have a nice night” and he responded with “you too enjoy your... (very very quietly obviously realising what he was saying was highly insane) gender...” and tbh i havent stopped thinking abt being a gender enjoyer since

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☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

Please, people currently freaking out about the numbers, you have to try to calm yourselves down (myself included) if you don't, you are playing into Trump's plan to disenfranchise mail-in voters.

The election is NOT going to be decided tonight! No matter what the media is trying to push.

Mail in votes count as legitimate votes, and it might take until Friday or beyond to count most of them!

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the pandemic ruined my thesis! please help!

Hello! I am a queer poet/playwright writing an MFA thesis on queer life! And I need your help! I originally planned on interviewing other queer folks in order to collect stories to be turned into poetic monologues but the current pandemic means I’ve had to change my plans a bit. I still need stories, so I’ve created a survey to help me collect them! 

Are you 2SLGBTQ+ ? Gotta a story you want to tell? Complete this survey! Give me your confession. The thing you have wanted to say, been meaning to say. The thing you wish you’d said to the one that got away. What you wanted to say to your parents. The joy you want to shout from the rooftops. The love you wish to confess. I’ll take it all. Whatever is bubbling up inside of you. I’ll take your joy, your sorrow, your love. I want to write queer life, and I will take any tiny piece you are willing to give. 

 All submissions are anonymous. My post-defence draft will be made available to any contributors who would like access. If you don’t want to be anonymous, or would prefer to just chat about your story feel free to DM me on here, Twitter @_NatTwenty_ , or email me at nbarnett@uoguelph.ca 

Survey Link:

https://nbarnett.typeform.com/to/pdmOWmPP

please enjoy this photo of me and my best friend the sledge hammer as a thank you!

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i wish i had enough social media influence to encourage people to call the miami-dade offices, specifically their post office, and demand that the 27% of missing ballots be counted, seeing as miami-dade could flip all of florida blue, and then change the outcome of the entire election

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You and gingerhaole and khiroptera are fucking disgusting. Please do something with your time other than exploiting gay men. Fetishistic yaoi fujoshi shit is no longer welcome here.

Aw, thank you for comparing me to such great artists, it’s an honor! :D

But ok, let’s think about your message. Actually, let’s make an example out of you, for the sake of this fandom and others.

A bit of History and background, first. 

Slash fanfic and art, as we know them, became a thing in the 1970s, with the Star Trek Original Series. The fandom, mostly women, sold printed copies of zines in a very secret way, because women having interests of a sexual nature was pretty taboo. Still is. 

The terms yaoi and fujoshi are japanese and do not apply to this occidental approach, or this specific British show. (I mean, you singled out three Good Omens fan artists). Japanese creators and fans of m/m pairings have their own History that are parallel to slash, but are not to be confused. 

Anyway, all this to say that m/m pairings have been a part of art and literature for 50 years now.

Why slash?

People have thought a lot about the question, and the most probable cause of the phenomenon is mathematics, and the fact that male characters outnumber female characters several times, and that is all over media. 

If the cast of your show, book or game has 10 characters, 7 are male and 3 females, the m/m pairings are going to greatly outnumber straight pairings and f/f pairings.

Now, male characters are given more time, dialogue and backstories. They tend to talk more between themselves, which creates interesting relationships. Female characters barely pass the Bechdel test, and don’t have the possibility to create interesting bonds between themselves - or with men - if they’re always relegated to the romantic or sexual interest. From a storytelling point of view, male characters end up more interesting just because the media we consume treats them better.

There is another thing that comes to mind about m/m pairings: the absence of misogyny. In a world where women (and people misgendered as women, including Non-Binary people) are constantly seen as lesser, reading romance of the straight variety can always bring back a gender imbalance that is not present when both partners in a romance are male. A romance on equal footing can be better escapism. 

Is slash “exploiting” gay men?

I mean, disregarding the fact that anon up there chose to call two genderless characters “gay men” (which is backed by one of the Good Omens authors). And also disregarding the fact that the three artists you blame, myself included, do not hesitate in drawing the characters as female presenting, non-binary, or any other gender presentation–

Which gay men are you talking about? Because fictional characters do not exist. You can’t exploit things that don’t exist. They’re ideas. Are you talking about their actors? Or the authors? Because they all said it was okay if we imagine the characters in love. 

Real men, gay or bi or any of them over the lgbt+ spectrum, are not harmed by the stories and art we tell. What harms them is real homophobia. If someone likes slash and treats gay men badly, that’s a problem, yes, and we need to address it. What I’ve seen from fandoms so far is that people are pretty good at regulating these attitudes. But liking slash and being homophobic are not related. 

Drag queens

Let’s also not forget that gay culture has included a lot of what is traditionally feminine. No one complains about drag queens using the elements of what is, to us, the pressure of appearing feminine. Because we know that some of them can be misogynistic, but others can elevate it to an art form. We know how to make the difference. 

Aren’t you better than straight men that watch lesbian porn?

I’m going to be honest, I don’t care if men watch lesbian porn. Let them. What I care about is if men treat women and non-binary people in a fair and decent way. I know many excellent straight men that watch lesbian porn, and they treat people with respect.

People are not the media they consume. 

There’s also something pretty specific about fandom: They don’t objectify characters, they elevate them. Pornography reduces actors to bodies, empty vessels that are there for our enjoyment. Fanfiction and fanart build on stories, develop personalities, they make the characters more real than they were in the source media. That’s the opposite of objectification. 

The female and queer gaze

Now, let’s talk about sex (baby). The message above, like anyone who wants to shame m/m fandoms, reduces it to sex, and pornography. Note that the three artists mentioned, myself included, have tons of non-sexual art and fanfics to our names. But that’s not what they focus on. They focus on sex, because sex is bad. But okay, let’s talk about artists and writers who make sexy content.

As mentioned above, in the Star Trek printed magazine part, the female and queer, gaze is considered taboo, and still is today. Women can’t want. They can’t produce pornography for themselves. They can’t masturbate. It’s baaaad. Same for lgbt+ people. The only acceptable approach to sexuality is the mainstream straight male gaze.

People will protect men that don’t exist if it means shaming real women for what they want, and creating the things they want.

Shaming creators

Let’s say that anon really thinks defending hypothetical men is a worthy cause. Let’s see what they did with it: they wrote an anonymous, hateful message, to a single person on tumblr.

It won’t surprise anyone that I’m a woman. That I’m queer. That I’m brown.

And what if it changed my mind, huh? What if I decided to never more draw or write m/m characters ever again? It wouldn’t change the fact that it’s still a massive literary and art current. Is anon going to contact each creator individually, or did they just want to use any reason to send anonymous hate in the inbox of a defenceless person on the web?

There is a movement of puritanical thought disguised as leftist rhetoric which can be summarised as “sex is bad, woman making sex things is bad”, and people aim it generally towards women both cis and trans, non-binary people, people of color, people in the lgbt+ spectrum, neurodivergent people, etc. 

People will find something they disapprove of and attack small creators instead of bigger organisations, because being hateful is more important than making real change. 

Fandom is made of real people

Also… what do they do about the gay men who write slash? The bi men? The trans straight women? The non-binary people? Are these people exploiting gay men, too? 

Fandom, and m/m fandom because you pretty much can’t have one without the other, is mostly filled with women, non-binary people, BIPOC, neurodivergeant people, and everyone on the lgbt+ spectrum. They’re independent creators that are all easy to reach through their inboxes. They’re all people that suffer hate an discrimination. They’re people that are easy to harass.

This is why I’m making an example out of this anonymous message. I could have deleted it. Forgotten it, went on with my day. 

But there are too many creators out there who get the same kind of vitriol and don’t have the words or the experience to answer back. But I do. I’ve been reading slash fic since 1998, on my parent’s computer, in the common room.

Slash fic taught me about romance. About men. About respectful relationships. About queerness. About accepting my own queerness. About trans and non-binary people. About accepting my body. About sexuality, my own, and others. About kinks, finding what I like and what I don’t. It helped me be confident in bed, and my partners have been pretty happy with what I learned from fic. It taught me how to write my own stories. It taught me English. 

They will say we’re exploiting when we’re actually building temples. 

–

I’m off to draw men kissing men. 

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don’t blame states that go red on people not voting and blame it on literal generations of gerrymandering and voter suppression and the whole ass electoral college that y’all barely have a grasp on.

black people in the south vote blue and get shadowed out by white people that vote red. and then the state turns red. and then people yell at black people and nonvoters, all while ignoring radicals/leftists/progressives in southern states working harder than your average Blue state citizen to flip senate/house/local seats in any way they can. and then those blue state citizens will make jokes about innocent people dying in hurricanes and natural disasters and dying at the hands of the very structures they claim to be against. im so damn tired.

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Mental Health Must Reads

As promised, here’s a list of mental health must reads that I’ve  personally read and recommend. I read or listened to all of these books for FREE with my public library card and Libby App but linked to where you can buy these books from the authors.

Abusive / Narcissistic Parents:

Children of the Aging Self Absorbed - Nina Brown - for adult children of narcissistic or abusive parents. Teaches practical yet powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that these parents can incite, as well as tips to protect yourself.

Children of the Self-Absorbed - Nina Brown - Similar to above.

Complex PTSD - Pete Walker - The author has CPTSD and wrote this book from the perspective of someone who has experienced a great reduction of symptoms over the years.

The Drama of the Gifted Child - Alice Miller - explores the serious if not dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere. One of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst.

For Your Own Good - Alice Miller - A challenge to the child-rearing practices of punishment and coercion.

Toxic Parents - Susan Forward - drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents.

Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb - Adult children of narcissists and their struggle for self.

Addiction (haven’t read a lot on this):

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Gabor Maté - Close encounters with addiction.

Anxiety & Stress:

Burnout - Emily Nagoski - explains why women experience burnout differently than men and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

When the Body Says No - Gabor Maté - Understanding the stress-disease connection.

Doing Harm - Maya Dusenbery - How bad medicine and lazy science leave women dismissed, misdiagnosed, and sick.

Rage Becomes Her - Soraya Chemaly - The power of women’s anger.

The Tao of Fully Feeling - Pete Walker - Harvesting forgiveness out of blame.

The Gift Of Fear - Gavin de Becker - Survival signals that protect us from violence.

Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman - insight into our “two minds”—the rational and the emotional.

Body Image & Disordered Eating:

The Body Is Not an Apology - Sonya Renee-Taylor - the power of radical self love.

Body Positive Power - Megan Crabbe - Memoir - Because Life Is Already Happening and You Don’t Need Flat Abs to Live It.

Dietland - Sarai Walker - Fiction

The Fuck It Diet - Caroline Dooner - Eating Should Be Easy

Health at Every Size - Linda Bacon - Fat isn’t the problem. Dieting is the problem.

Heavy - Kiese Laymon - Memoir

Hunger - Roxane Gay - “A Memoir Of (My) Body”

Intuitive Eating - Evelyn Tribole - The go-to book on rebuilding a healthy body image and making peace with food.

You Are Why You Eat - Dr. Ramani Durvasula - Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life

BPD:

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath - Fiction/Memoir

Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen - Memoir

I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me - Jerold Kreisman - Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

The Survivors - Adam Frankel - A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing

OCD:

Body Punishment - Maggie Simone - OCD, Addiction, & Finding the Courge to Heal

Brain Lock - Jeffrey Schwartz - Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts - Sally Winston - A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts

Radical Acceptance - Tara Brach - Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

Sexual Assault / Abuse / Trauma:  

Asking for It - Kate Harding - The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture-and What We Can Do about It

The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel van der Kolk - Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski - An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works.

The Courage to Heal - Ellen Bass - A Guide for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse.

Does She Call It Rape? - Lori Girshick - Woman on Woman Sexual Abuse

Know My Name - Chanel Miller - Memoir of an Emily Doe

Not That Bad - Roxane Gay - Essays of Dispatches from Rape Culture

Three Women - Lisa Taddeo - Memoir / Fiction

Why Does He Do That? - Lundy Bancroft - Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Workbooks:

The Artist’s Way Workbook - Julia Cameron

The CBT Workbook

The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism

Come As You Are - Workbook

The Courage to Heal Workbook

The DBT Skills Workbook

The Intuitive Eating Workbook

The Self Love Workbook

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i hate the trope of kids giving their favorite stuffed animal to a younger child as a sign of compassion and coming of age, as if this is something that should be expected of kids as they grow up

im 22 and i dont care who you are you’ll have to pry my ikea shark out of my cold dead hands

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Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.

Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.