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Oh, and endearing thing I wrote about my Tony is how he's a good dad to Morgan (because yeah he is, but this is with a 14 year old Morgan) and how they got spoken to about her language use at school (because Tony says fuck even if he didn't get to curse heavy in the mcu I think it's implied) and so in solidarity (because being able to control your words is a life skill Pepper wants her to learn and Tony can't disagree) they both have a swear tally monitored by the house AI and they're being competitive about it. Adorable.

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Random thought: Steve has a freezer somewhere full of what Peter 3 refers to "Depression Era Throwback Guilt Chow" and it consists of food bank leftovers that are expired or had gone uneaten, not rotten but just not food safe for consumption by vulnerable people, he and Bucky and probably the Spideys and Wade to a point would feel no ill effects but Peter 3 finds it demoralizing in concept and says that's what biofuel plants and pig farms are for and Steve is like: this is quality protein... you don't waste that...

Anyway he agrees not to make it a big deal as long as Steve doesn't feed it to the kids.

(After catching him and Bucky eating reheated leftover stew from this stash, Peter 3 thinks a little more and then lectures Steve for feeding it to Bucky. "That's worse than prison chow, Steve!!")

And anyway now Steve only saves certain things and he's the only one who eats it when nobody else is around. And he helps the food bank get set up with food composting, pig farm donation, and whatever future tech biofuel recycling stuff is going on.

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Idk if Peter 3 would logically be any good at swimming, come think. He didn't go to a high school with a pool, I don't think he got many vacations that involved bodies of water, and for my AU in particular I decided the Spidey mutation makes them dense. Heavy for their size. He's not naturally buoyant, so it would probably not be easy to swim without gear to help compensate (diving, probably fine, but floating and swimming along the surface, not so much).

Bucky and Steve and Wade are strong but they have bulk as well, so they probably don't have the buoyancy issue (and Buck has the upgraded arm which is I'm gonna say not torturously heavy and we know it's water safe). Plus they have more reason to have training in swimming as a skill.

So yeah I don't think the Spideys are good at swimming...

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Every versions of Peter Parker from the beginning to No Way Home.

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Bit from Three and Bucky's island getaway vacation, where on the first day they have a tiny little emotional conflict but decide to talk through it head-on. This is right after. (They're both just wearing swim trunks, but haven't left the cabin yet. Peter 3's are tiny little vintage 60s style trunks, Bucky has modern board shorts.)

Peter 3 gave him a soft gentle smile. "... okay. So we're good?"

"Yeah..."

Peter 3 grinned. "... Steve was right. Five days wasn't gonna be long enough for us to actually relax properly."

Bucky chuckled. "... he's... he knows some stuff sometimes, doesn't he..."

Peter 3 giggled. "I mean... probably why you married him..."

"Nah... married him 'cause of his tits and ass. He's got a body that won't quit."

"He can do it all day..." Peter 3 added with an eyebrow waggle, enjoying the eyeroll and smirk it got in response.

"Hmhmhm..." Bucky narrowed his eyes and widened his smirk. "... c'mon, sweetheart. Let's go for a swim. Wanna see what those tiny shorts look like when they're wet..."

Peter 3 gasped. "Oh...! Wait, aren't you scared about what happens when you don't wait half an hour after eating...?"

"Nah... they tried that one on me. Doesn't do anything." Bucky said mildly, standing up with effortless efficiency, wandering out the front door.

"Ope, that went dark..." Peter 3 scrambled up and followed.

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I kinda like having Peter 3 and Steve both end up being two different but still compatible kind of foodies, where Peter 3 has experience and appreciation for restaurant and catering of high quality standards (like he's not snobby about cheap food, but he would be offended by someone choosing the place that cuts corners and over charges and none of that ends up on the plate or into the hands of the staff doing all the work), and Steve gets into baking as a hobby (his strength and stamina lend well to breadmaking, and it's timeless and physical and meditative) and gradually branches out to related food arts (and making community with local growers and people who import stuff for food from their culture) so he learns to make jam, he learns to make tortillas, and because they all need high protein diets at some point he's like "well we should just buy a cow, we can process it ourselves..."

And I think maybe they do that once (not the slaughter part, but butchering two sides of beef. He and Bucky could do it, but you have to do it in a big refrigerated room, and it would smell intense, and I think they wouldn't enjoy it.)...

Anyway, Steve retiring to do food and art and community service in a queer polycule is my happy place, not Steve with a white picket fence.

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Like I think Wade is like "why would I need to build a tshirt factory here when that infrastructure already exists somewhere else? I can just fix the power structure..."

Lol like he just makes it so they pay better, stop using kids, stop forcing people who would rather stay home to work, gradually replace the staff with grown people who want the work and some automation, and also probably scale back as the local culture and economy don't need a junk factory anymore. But it happens slowly, healing the deepest cuts, redirecting the rage and greed. Maximum empathy.

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I think a good portion of the guests at the Private Island end up being victims whose trip is paid for by the rich person Wade put pressure on. Like. "You owe this person two weeks of intensive recovery for that. I know just the place."

And to be clear Wade doesn't proffit directly from the resort, it's all about networking.

(There are other vacation/recovery options, like mountain cabins and homestead type farms, elephant sanctuaries and equine therapy, etc, but sometimes it's a tropical island vacation with private chef and spa that you need.)

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Because I can't help myself, I pulled in one of the random OCs I made up for Wade to rescue on the patrol scene I wrote with him and Peter 2. The little blubbering hitman whose sister set him up to fail and Wade used his connections to get him a job in a warehouse upstate that would give him the opportunity to get his cdl and do trucker stuff or just other opportunities.

Anyway since I decided Wade is playing a long game of making exploitative rich people shit less and less powerful and dangerous via a very wide sweeping approach (that Peter 3 and MJ and others help run, along with other contacts) that includes repossession of private islands and resorts and shifting ownership and profits back into the local economy (while not just letting other power hungry idiots take over but also giving the local people as much say as possible in what they actually want and need- so like, ends up being the actual community leaders, not just whoever was ruthless enough to survive and proffit from the colonizers. It's a process.)... like. Long game. And there are obviously gonna end up being some places where it ends up being best to just keep running the resort for a while but in an ethical way and leech money from billionaires who can then tell on themselves and get a special visit from Wade.

Anyway, there's a private island resort that has a staff made up of locals in the higher level positions mostly and the low level grunt labor is done by a kind of outreach program: rehabilitated criminals who got pulled into street crime young and had gotten their shit together in a previous level of the program, or the children of rich people who wanted a summer internship that was going to keep them from ending up like the billionaires Wade went after more directly.

Anyway, I have Peter 3 and Bucky go on vacation at this private island and the guy who brings them room service is Lexi, now 26 and living his best life.

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I mean... I know I didn't watch all the movies closely enough to get into these kind of fights even if I wanted to...

But the people who say they lost all respect for Cap for "doing Tony dirty" with regards to the whole Winter Soldier killing his parents footage they found and didn't tell Tony about so they could keep trying to bring Bucky in and save him...

Um. They say things like- Tony was having a valid reaction to finding out Bucky killed his parents, and Cap nearly killed him because of it!

Excuse me?? Excuse me... what???

TONY WAS SUITED UP AND TELLING STEVE TO STEP ASIDE SO HE COULD TAKE BUCKY OUT IN A FIT OF REVENGE.

Cap kept telling him to stand down, because Bucky had been brainwashed into a weapon and wasn't in control of his own actions at the time, and Tony was literally threatening them with violence at the time! Steve did not just attack him for yelling mean things at Bucky!

Also- he very deliberately *did not* kill Tony, but Tony did not stand down and agree that he was overreacting and that he'd hear them out or whatever- he had to use enough force to make Tony stop and let them go and to show that he was physically capable of defending himself and Bucky to hold him off from trying again, at least right away.

Steve was trying to avoid Tony's dangerous rage by not telling him. He was the only one Bucky had on his side, and he still felt personally responsible for failing to keep Bucky out of Hydra's hands in the first place.

Jfc... Tony was not done dirty by Steve. Tony acted exactly as everyone was afraid he would which is why they kept it from him.

I don't even know all the dialogue that happened in that scene by heart or anything, but ffs, blaming Bucky for killing Howard and Maria would be like blaming Tony for letting Stane sell his weapons to terrorists under his nose. You weren't even strapped to a mind wipe chair and had surgery performed without pain killers, Tony, you were just given access to drugs and alcohol and had your daddy issues taken advantage of, and then you happened to be lucky enough the enemy wanted you for your mind and not your body. Entitled brat.

Steve was too fucking nice. Because he didn't want to lose Tony either, but Tony had other friends, Bucky had nobody else.

Which is also why it's some BS they had him abandon Bucky at the end... I don't care if they had deleted scenes showing Steve's long standing struggles to cope with the modern world, it was ooc, and it doesn't count if you don't put it on the screen.

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Okay so I opened up all the different files I have for this 'verse, and it is: 578,591 words.

Which is under 600k, but that was still a pretty respectable estimate.

I am toying with some ideas now that I've infodumped several posts of my grasp of the thing so far, and one of them is playing with Wade's involvement in Peter 1's timeline...

Okay so, mayyybeeee... because I had really kinda wanted Wade to spend even more time searching for Peter 3 out of time but settled on the one year because I couldn't decide a clear enough vision of what his involvement would entail, but now I have a little more of an idea on that.

So how about either the TVA send Wade in too early, or Wade yoinks one of those thingies that makes the doors (ffs I forget what they're called) and he hops around trying to figure it out and get as close to the right spot as he can to nab Peter 3 and skedaddle, and the TVA chase him around, but it's also kind of a "spare" timeline? And the whole time he is doing things that end up being more beneficial than not, and maybe he ends up being the reason Tony Stark steps down the way he does... because to Wade, if he gets there and encounters Peter 1 and catches wind of a few key conversations he is going to get very itchy trigger fingers.

Keeping secrets from your trusted adult? Giving expensive gifts? Transporting a minor out of the country? A lot of Red Flags, there...! And he maybe gets chased off in the nick of time by the TVA in pursuit for a while but does eventually get a chance to pin him to a wall about it (maybe with Pepper and Happy to witness) and then gets through to Tony what a fucked up thing that is to do to a poor kid.

He probably quotes his Peter at him-

"With great power comes great big booty bitches- no wait, sorry, obviously not that, it's Responsibility, Stark!" And like goes on to harangue him about how Responsibility is not "feel guilty and project my pity party on the world around me like you did over the accords, ya fuckwit..." and idk he goes on for a while and then has to run away again when the TVA come back (maybe they attempt to scramble their memories a bit and Wade is like "agh, no, that was IMPORTANT..." and disrupts so Tony gets the message anyway...

Lands at last after however much out of order hopping into the year early point, he runs into the resident Deadpool, who maybe gets the time dealy off him right when the TVA show up and yoink *him* away to the void and leave Peter 3's Wade stranded.

I like that a lot better than my original concept, it does a better job of setting the scene and like... gives an excuse for the TVA to end up quarantining their timeline into a "hands off" zone where they just observe the damage. Which ends up just... working out for everyone really nicely... lol.

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(Also I kind of left a non-zero chance for my Ned turning himself into Hobgoblin, for kicks. Idk I'm not great at action villains but it could happen.)

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And my weird twist paradox thingy is that when Peter 3 goes missing from his universe into Peter 1's, Wade goes looking for him, gets scooped up by the TVA, spends some time in the Void, gets swept up in the crowd of Deadpools from DP+W (like, dropped in right as they're all pouring through for the final battle like he just got here and well I guess this is what we're doing okie dokie)... so anyway, after the final "HE HAS RISEN BABYGIRL" scene where the TVA come in and shove all the extra Deadpools back where they came from, my Wade manages to flag one down high enough up the food chain with a "OH THANK FUCK, I am looking to talk to a manager, my Spider-man went missing, can someone fucking ASSIST ME, please and thank you?? I don't even go here...!" So like, lol...

They figure out there are more than one weird rogue jerks in the TVA pruning off universes and making their own timelines for fun, whatever, or just, like, with time travel being nonlinear technically somehow Deadpool got put forward to where they were fixing things and his universe and Peter 2's had like, already kinda been pruned and it was too late but... anyway. They send him to Peter 1's universe but at least a whole year early! They get him to send that Deadpool to the void to take his place (and perhaps they also void-stick two other people at a critical time to stabilize things so when Peter 3 and Peter 2 arrive nobody gets destabilized and pulled into component atoms like the whole Spiderverse thing with Peter B Parker issue.)...

So like. They were being all put together in a kind of curated universe/timeline that was going to either fade out over millenia, or anyway the TVA were just gonna let it ride, being a non-threat, and let it pan out, and I guess eventually down the line in the far distant future maybe they'll retrieve Wade and Peter 3 and offer them a spot in the TVA (or idk they'll dimension hop on their own and have evolved new hero identities or whatever).

But yeeeaaah... Wade definitely affected Peter 1's experience that got him to the point where he pulled in Peter 3 and Peter 2 in order for Wade to get back to his Peter... uhhhh. So. Bootstrap paradox.

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*long suffering sigh at self*... I sure wouldn't mind doing a hand bound hard copy of this thing should I finish it, but I fear I don't have the budget for the printing.

I have a desktop computer I haven't turned on in ages and ages hooked to my old printer with no ink left... and I have a portable inkless printer that uses special paper(expensive) and only does one sided prints anyway.

Ah well. I could turn it into an ebook file at least.

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Hmmmhhh... gonna try to build my story out of a wish list and concepts and hundreds of pages of rough draft rambling.

I gotta total it all up to check, but I think it took me over 600k to figure out what I wanted from this massive thing.

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Oh, and I guess if the blip didn't happen in Peter 1's universe, it kinda did in Peter 3's, and he fought on Cap's side in Civil War (he was never Stark's intern), the blip took May probably (Peter 3 and Wade have lingering anger over Tony Stark because of their universe)... and that is the version of Steve that had the horrible Endgame thing. That Steve was either foolish and got stuck, or repressed, or something- he is the one who abandoned his Bucky. Peter 3 felt weird about that and for a while didn't think highly of Peter 1's Cap, but then found out he'd stuck around and him and his Bucky were together, so that was alright. (And eventually obviously they'd really hit it off with them and they'd join the family)