spideysexist - Tumblr blog

[spideysexist]

...when Spider-Man treated Carol Danvers like a piece of meat in her own book! [Ms Marvel (vol 2) Annual #1, Nov 2008]

A quick note before we dive in: There's a great blog to be made on another (preferably more serious) blog about misogyny in comics on the covers for this series alone, particularly those from artist Greg Horn, who draws women the way most 14-year-old boys do but without the realism. I've added a few particularly tasteless examples to the end of this post to prove my point.

Horn provides the cover for this issue as well. Little know fact: Kree/human hybrids like Ms. Marvel have bodies consisting only of a face, hair, arms, and giant boobs. Who knew?

Ironically, the story begins with Carol attempting to fight Spider-Man before he starts treating her like a side of beef.

If you weren't around in those days, this is the period between Civil War and Dark Reign, where "registered" heroes like Carol were duty-bound to arrest "unregistered" heroes like Spider-Man. If nothing else, it gave the cliche of heroes fighting each other before teaming up new life, not to mention a bit of logic for once.

Like any good creep, Spidey opens with a tame reference to Carol's butt.

Calling Carol "sister" is a bit off, and the "personality" line kind of alludes to the clichè about an unattractive woman ("she has such a great personality") But even with the mention of her butt, I'd say this line is forgivable, given that she's hurling deadly energy blasts at him.

Spidey follows with a fairly standard quip that has possible sexist undertones, but again, I think it's ok given the scenario. I also find it (oddly?) unsexist that he pops her in the jaw just as he would any super-powered threat, male or female. Equality!

Nothing misogynistic about Spidey's next jab, I only include it because, well, it's a pretty good one! Although it's a little strange to read such a stark critique of Carol's actions in her own book, but hey, act like a fascist, get called fascist.

Here we have what I'll refer to as: Spidey's odd fixation with Carol's feet, part one. That's right, making weird comments about her attire isn't a one-off gag, it's a running "joke" we'll get to enjoy again and again!

Aaaaaand here's part two! It just keeps getting funnier!

At this point, you're probably thinking some version of, "Come on now, he's not being THAT creepy. What are you, some kind of ________" (fill in the blank with the pejorative for overly sensitive people du jour.)

But don't fret. You came here for some true Spidey creepiness, and I plan to deliver. Starting with this gem right here:

.....good one?

At the risk of giving writer Brian Reed waaaaaay too much credit, this seeming non sequitur may have the makings of an actual, y'know, joke. In early issues of Ms. Marvel (vol 1, 1977) Carol is hired by none other than J. Jonah Jameson to head up a new publication from the Daily Bugle focused on women's issues--the oh-so-creatively titled Woman Magazine. Given her chosen superhero name, I don't think much of leap to infer that Woman is an homage to Ms., the feminist magazine founded in 1971 by, you guessed it, Gloria Steinem.

Of course, none of this information is in the issue, and it's way too subtle a reference for all but the most hardcore fans to understand. So, for 99.9% of the audience, Spidey just comes off as a sexist prick. And, for the other 0.1%, he comes off as a sexist prick who's trying way too hard to make a dumb joke about Carol's previous career.

Regardless, Spidey's comment here is the equivalent of telling Luke Cage, "Pipe down, Martin Luther King!" And if Peter ever tried that, he'd have a lot more than Carol's foot sweat to worry about.

At least he apologizes for it, kind of--something that, unfortunately, can't be said about his next foray into creepsville.

Ew. But, believe it or not, that's just the wind-up. Here comes the pitch:

Steeeeeeeeeeerike 874, yer out!

It should be noted, this issue was published less than a year after Peter and MJ's marriage ended (AND THAT'S ALL WE'RE GOING TO SAY ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.) After writing Spidey as a happily married man for the last two decades, Marvel definitely went through some awkwardness in the transition to a newly single Peter, as this panel clearly illustrates.

Ah, but right when you think we're through, Spidey has one final zinger to send us home. And, like any good macho jackass, he's saved the worst for last.

What a guy, right? Finally, Spidey changes back to Peter Parker and, safely hidden from the human being he's repeatedly confused for a walking side of beef, offers the perfect summary of the encounter:

I guess that shit-eating grin is supposed to tell us that Peter got the best of Carol in this encounter. All it does for me is make me wish for an alternate ending where Ms. Marvel forces Spider-Man's smug mug to chow down on a massive pile of horse turds.

More Spidey creeping on Ms. Marvel to come. But first, as promised, a look at some of the cheesiest of cheesecake Ms. Marvel covers by Greg Horn.

[spideysexist]

...not really, but sometimes he's written that way.

The average human lifespan provides most people with enough time to become experts in one or two areas--three if you're livin right. No matter how you live, however, you'll wind up dedicating a big chunk of your existence to these areas in two ways: 1) expanding or honing your expertise and 2) figuring out what the hell to do with that knowledge or skill once you've mastered it.

The fact that I am an expert on Spider-Man is no secret. What has been kept secret, even from me, is what--if anything--I can do with this capability--beyond quizzing myself and dislocating my arm from patting my own back.

A regular ol' Spidey blog is a non-starter, as there are already a zillion of 'em. I needed a topic even more niche....

And thus we arrive to this epic moment....when I shall put my knowledge of Spider-Man cannon to work...by exposing moments when Spider-Man (or Peter Parker) acted poorly, specifically in a sexually creepy on misogynistic way.

Make no mistake, please, I LOVE Spider-Man. When he is written correctly, he's no misogynist--rather, he tends to fall somewhere between a boy next door sweetheart and the "Go get em, MJ!" feminist, depending on who's writing him.

But that's the rub. Spider-Man, like all long-standing comic book characters, can't truly be said to have one set of personal characteristics. Stan Lee wrote him one way, Kevin Smith quite another. As fans, we develop a collage of who we believe Peter Parker to be...but if all the stories "count," then who's to say what Peter is or isn't?

Ok, that's enough of an intro/disclaimer. You didn't come here to hear me yap...you came here to see Spidey be a creep! So let's get on with the show...