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rewatching a movie you loved as a teen and realizing it’s actually really really really really not good

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uhh... guys?

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"I want to live in a world in which teenagers can fulfil their natural purpose of being annoying" and "I do not always want to be annoyed by the teenagers" are compatible sentiments

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new Consequence discovered: i have JUST enough hair left that i am now much more susceptible to the Headphone Hair than i was before and the only way to avoid it is apparently to wear my headphones diagonally with the headband laying across the crown of my head. i'll admit it's a little hellish

buzzed my whole head down to 1 inch yesterday and it's awesome and i love it BUT i'm discovering that i'm only used to my hair Feeling this short when i have it pulled up in a ponytail so now every single time i turn my head i have a brief few seconds of confusion when i don't feel my hair move at all

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Okay. Is it an adult cartoon or is it a familyguylike

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Josh Johnson's delivery is so funny 😭

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Can’t wait for, like, 2025 when we look back on the 2018/2019 era and say “hey, remember when we were all really freaking depressed? That was a crazy time! Glad we aren’t like that anymore”

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Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"

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tbh it's kinda funny when a lesbian helps a trans girl transition like yeah you would want that to happen wouldn't you

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i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

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lovely character. i need him to finally break down sobbing clutching his chest like it'll stop the pain crumpling to the floor begging God to either help him or let him die

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buzzed my whole head down to 1 inch yesterday and it's awesome and i love it BUT i'm discovering that i'm only used to my hair Feeling this short when i have it pulled up in a ponytail so now every single time i turn my head i have a brief few seconds of confusion when i don't feel my hair move at all

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The Onion continues to never miss

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once these 15 million different stressful situations resolve themselves I’m gonna be so normal again. I can be normal and not exhausted