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[spirits-reposts]

Jade Explains Physics

jade: aristotle said a bunch of stuff that was wrong. galileo and newton fixed things up, but then einstein broke everything again! now weve basically got it all worked out except for small stuff, big stuff, hot stuff, cold stuff, fast stuff, heavy stuff, dark stuff, turbulence, and the entire concept of time :)

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kankri: What are y9ur pr9n9uns?

nepeta: :33 < whats a pronoun

kankri: Indicative 6ut n9t exclusive t9 y9ur gender identity.

nepeta: :33 < stop swearing at me

kankri: Can I refer t9 y9u as “they / them”?

nepeta: :33 < but my name is nepeta

kankri: KARKAT, WHAT ARE THE GREEN 9NE’S R9N9UNS.

karkat: OH WE USE “SHE / HER” FOR HER, SHE DOESN’T REALLY CARE THOUGH

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rose: One time as a kid, I forcefully shoved two magnets together, 

rose: And these were the strong magnets that are used in a shop to pick up missing little metal bits, 

rose: And I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legitimately said things like, “i think black cats are bad n they should be drowwned,” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if he found out they didn’t go to church.

rose: I told him, “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky.” And when he dared to doubt my powers I told him that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand and the magnets shot off in two different directions.

rose: (We were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt.) 

rose: One of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED and ran to the office, and I guess had his dad pick him up from school, and then he wasn’t there for a couple of days. Finally his dad called my house and claimed I had “Traumatized his son by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my mother asked what I did, I just said, “I showed him a magnet and he flipped out. He’s not going to be happy when he finds out about gravity, either.” 

rose: Eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say, “Hey, my dad told me not to talk to you!” I would just be like, “Good job, you already screwed that up.”

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a small horde of daves: rats, were rats, were the rats, we prey at night we stalk at night were the rats

alpha dave wearing a burger king crown making his way to the front of the horde: im the giant rat that makes all of the rules

all of them, sneaking off to go fuck up dirks shit: lets see what kinda trouble we can get ourselves into

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an Adult White Dragon about to dive bomb the party, the Drow, with his disadvantage on perception, is the only one who saw it coming. 

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Very important question for the mods/j which human would be the first to rickroll a troll

oh 100% john. he sends it to karkat. karkat has no idea. karkat clicks it. karkat doesnt understand. its mildly off-putting because this is not what he was expecting but fuck, its a good song. karkat downloads the song. karkat enjoys the song. one day he offers to show dave or jade a really cool song that john showed him. he plays it. dave and jade go fucking rabid in an instant. holy fuck karkat rickrolled us. karkat does not know what a rickroll is. why are his friends foaming at the mouth. he looks at his phone screen. what fucking power does he hold in his hands

-mod dave

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Dave: honestly you could answer almost any question with bimboification and I think about that a lot

John: what the fuck is wrong with you????????

Dave: bimboification

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Our plan…. worked?

So we found out our contact I’m the city had been compromised, his daughter taken captive.

Luckily we got to him and his house before they found out we knew.

We make a plan, using our favorite game, ‘punt the halfling’

Our dragonborn picked up out halfling barbarian, and just lobbed her hard through a window, everyone making good rolls.

Though we didn’t know what the inside looked like.

She flies through the window and slams hard into the opposing wall, startling a bandit and the captive girl.

The halfling is in rage mkde, and babbling nonsense, when I suddenly burst through the bedroom door

Me: you found her! This tiny menace had been terrorizing the city for months!

I pick her up, but failed my strength roll, and she flails around and I and up throwing her into the wall again.

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Oh gods, this hurts

Jensen Ackles | It’s gonna be a rough 2 weeks.

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sollux: you’re iin her dm2, ii’m hiidiing from 2omethiing followiing me iin the parii2 catacomb2

kanaya: Need Any Help There?

sollux: get out of her dm2 and come 2ave me

aradia: be careful what y0u say in there! s0me 0f the skulls still have their jaws and will tell y0ur secrets t0 wh0ever will listen! 0u0

sollux: they’re telliing me mortal kombat 2 cheat codes

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“THIS IS MINE NOW, YOU PIG-HUMPING, MOTHERFUCKING, SHIT-EATING COCKSTAIN!!”

Quoth my warlock, a cute little pink tiefling, shaking the dagger that brought her to negative HP at the pirate who threw it.

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Homestuck as quotes from my friends.

ROSE: If I had a year to live for every number of your IQ, I’d already be dead.

–

TEREZI: JOHN, 1 W1LL T4K3 YOUR BR4C3S OFF YOUR T33TH 4ND SHOV3 TH3M DOWN YOUR THRO4T

–

JANE: My life is crumbling just like cake.

–

VRISKA: “Safety Hazard” is my middle name!!!!!!!!

–

DAVE, to DIRK: you will never be cool no matter WHOSE identity you steal

–

KARKAT: I’M NOT LOUD, YOU’RE JUST LISTENING TOO HARD.

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JAKE: Pepper spray doesnt even taste good.

JADE: you dont EAT it!!

–

ROXY, holding a bean: everythigns chaos , but at least i have a bean !

–

NEPETA, approaching GAMZEE: :33 < hi, my name is sheriff meowdy, and im here to rock your jiggle horns

–

KANAYA: If You Could Smack Anyone Who Would You Smack

SOLLUX and KARKAT, at the same time: MY2ELF

–

MEENAH: how dyou get someone to shut up becruise theres this one-

DAMARA: KILL THEM.

–

JOHN: i found a secret in mario… my birth certificate!

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John, picking up the phone: oh hey, a call from dirk. that’s pretty rare.

Caliborn, after stealing Dirk’s phone: YOu uNSANCTIMONIOuS BASTARD. WHY DON’T YOu PICK uP YOuR FuCKING CELL PHONE? YOu ARE THE WORST KIND OF HuMAN SCuM YOuR SPECIES HAS TO OFFER. I HOPE YOu DIE IN A GuTTER ALONE, JOHN HuMAN.

John: …new phone, who dis?

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Hope: you know how if you say beetle juice three times he appears? I wonder if that works for any juice

Rage: you know, that might be the stupidest thing you've ever said to me

Hope: orange juice...

Rage: you know beetle juice isn't real, right?

Hope: orange juice....

Rage: oh my god...

Hope: ...orange juice!

Rage: wow. Nothing-

Hope: //is holding a bottle of orange juice//

Rage: -happened...

Hope: you were saying?

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Bard: u say dolphins are so smart but there not smart enough to not be shitty grey rubber tubes flappin about the god damn ocean

Knight: they’re*

Bard: congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountain side so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

Knight: holy shit

Mage: I think that’s the most words Bards ever said in their life

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Taiyang: I would love to be mysterious but unfortunately I never shut the fuck up.